Hatsu managed to rewind episode 5 and said "Now that I fixed that giant mess" She shot a glare at Avaritia who looked away, "We can continue."
[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)
NARRATOR: After endless running and detours, Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way. How very convenient.
"I mean, it's sixtynine episodes, no matter how you slice it, you'll need time skips" Hatsu rationalized, getting confused looks from the most uneducated in the matter of show buisness.
(Goku looks up and notices a small planet in the sky)
GOKU: Oooooo! Oh wow, that must be King Kai's place! (jumps towards King Kai's planet) Woohooo... (begins falling towards the planet) ...aaaaaahhhhhh-
(Goku crashes onto the planet)
Goku crashing into the planet got Nightmare King, Starrow and Avaritia to calm down from the annoyance of the previous episode, "Ahhh... That's better." Starrow said.
KING KAI: (offscreen) Nice job, jackass!
Nightmare King nodded in agreement "I hope it doesn't happen again."
GOKU: (in pain) Ow...
This calm demeanor annoyed Avaritia a bit "You two do remember that in this episode-"
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space.)
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space...
NAPPA: Are we there yet?
"THIS! This happens!" Avaritia exclaimed in annoyance, getting groans from the other two.
VEGETA: (annoyed) No.
NAPPA: Are we there yet?
"Earmufs please... " Starrow begged.
VEGETA: (becoming more annoyed) No!
NAPPA: Are we there yet?
VEGETA: (much more annoyed) NO!
NAPPA: Are we there yet?
VEGETA: (now very angry) NO!
NAPPA: Are we there yet?
"Will it ever end!?" Avaritia angrily demanded to know.
VEGETA: (even angrier) NO!
NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.
VEGETA/Avaritia:(ready to snap)WHAT?!
NAPPA: (sees that they are approaching Planet Arlia) Can we stop at that bug planet?
Avaritia was acutally done "Do it! If it'll make him shut up, do it! Leave him there to die if possible!" She demanded, Starrow moved away from her a bit.
VEGETA: (temper stabilized) Nappa, if it'll shut you up for five minutes then fine!
(scene shifts to Planet Arlia)
VEGETA: (looking at a floating debris) See? (Shakara: Wow, when you stop to hear the silence, it's really nice./ Paint: It won't last you know?/ Shakara: It's okay to dream!) Look how fun this is.
(Two Arlians riding on giant millipede-like steeds appear out of the ground)
NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta- the locals.
Dreamiv turned to his sister-in-law and responded "Having dreams? Yes. Having delusions? Absolutely not."
VEGETA: Seems they brought a welcome service.
NAPPA: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune. Really brings in the revenue. (One Arilan unsheathes their sword) They'll probably treat us like royalty, considering the-
(Arilans handcuff Nappa and locks Vegeta and Nappa in a cell)
"See? Delusions." Dreamiv pointed out, "Yeah I guess I was pushing it a bit." Shakara admitted.
VEGETA: Well...
NAPPA: Yeah...
ARLIAN PRINCE: I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist king.
Oracle scanned the word and explained "It seems that fascism is a word that humans used to describe dictatorial power.", "One of the reasons I'm glad humans went extinct, well, until all the worlds merged, they're not bad, but that Ironc*ck guy is really pissing me off." Avaritia snarled, Shakara sighed and responded" You don't stand him, think about me, I litteraly have to keep my eyes on him half of the week to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
(Arilan Prince continues to speaking unintelligibly offscreen while Vegeta and Nappa talk)
NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.
VEGETA: What is it?
NAPPA: We're in prison, Vegeta.
Zettai narrowed her eyes as she commented "Great observation Nappa, and Anomaly, don't say he can't see well because he saw the bugs before."
VEGETA: I see that, Nappa.
NAPPA: Hey.
VEGETA: What?
NAPPA: Don't drop the soap.
"And there it is! Just what I was waiting for." Hatsu commented.
VEGETA: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.
(Scene changes to King Kai's planet)
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet...
GOKU: So, you're King Kai.
KING KAI: That's right. (Nezumi: I thought he was supposed to be a fighter./ Lemus: He is, I think.) I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galaxy-
GOKU: (notices Bubbles) Ooo, a monkey!
Nezumi chuckled at that "Are you sure uncle? I'm pretty sure that being a fighter is supposed to be more interesting than a monkey", Anomaly made a so-so sign with her hand as she justified "Ehh... It's Goku.", "Point to you"
KING KAI: Yes, this is my monkey, Bubbles. Say hello, Bubbles.
BUBBLES: (subtitled) You have come far, young warrior. Allow me to-
"Oh, so he's the warrior, explains a lot." Lemus admitted also being skeptical of King Kai, "Hey the dude's a God, gotta amount to something." Tamaka humored.
KING KAI: Alright, that's enough, Bubbles. Anyway, welcome to my planet.
GOKU: (struggling to stand up) Man, I'm so heavy here!
KING KAI: Well, because of the small size of my planet, the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.
GREGORY/Anomaly/Virus: (offscreen) That doesn't make any sense!
KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory! Alright, fine- how's this for a reason: I have an unbelievably powerful space pirate locked within the depths of my planet. (Virus: That makes even less sense! Assuming this ki stuff works like magic, it should be flowing out of someone!) That's why the gravity is so heavy here.
BOJACK: (inside King Kai's Planet) Yarr! Get me out of here!
KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack! (stomps on the planet three times) (Thinner: I get the feeling he doesn't like his planet mates.) Anyway, what are you here for?
GOKU: Oh! Well, King Kai, I need you to train me. (shows Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods flying in space) There's a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I'm its only hope. I'll do whatever it takes for you to train me, I'll withstand any test, I will try as hard as I have to, and I-
KING KAI: Sure.
Tamaka and Shakara smirked before the latter commented "See Piccolo? Take notes, that's how it's done."
GOKU: (dumbfounded) What?
KING KAI: I'll train you.
GOKU: S-Seriously? I thought I'd have to do some kind of test.
KING KAI: Are you kidding me? The only company I've had for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate... (BOJACK: Yarr!) ...a monkey... (Bubbles screeches) ...and a grasshopper!
"I was just joking." Thinner clarified.
GREGORY: Actually, I'm a cricket.
KING KAI: Nobody cares!
"Well he's not." Paint responded.
BUBBLES: (clapping his hands; subtitled) I care!
KING KAI: You tell him, Bubbles!
"And he can't even understand him!?" Lemus questioned.
GOKU: Wow, you're right. I can't imagine anything more boring than that.
(scene shifts to Planet Namek)
The sudden change of scene got everyone interested.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on Namek...
Hatsu took a look at the names of a few of the next episodes and realized "That's the name of the next saga!"
(scene goes inside Guru's house, where there's a long silence and a splashing sound can be heard)
GURU: Naaail. Naaaaail!
(Nail walks inside Guru's house and kneels)
NAIL: What is it, Lord Guru?
GURU: I saw a fish. That is all- you can go back outside now.
"Oh I see, still think King Kai is in a worse position." Paint commented.
NAIL: (walks outside of Guru's house; thinking)Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don't care what it is.
GURU: (offscreen) Naaaaail!
NAIL: (sounding a bit annoyed) What?
GURU: (offscreen) I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.
Tauira was a bit annoyed by Guru "If it's pretty, why kick it's ass!?"
(Nail groans in annoyance)
(scene shifts to planet Arlia)
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...
(scene goes to the Arlian prison cell, with the Arlian Prince still talking to Vegeta and Nappa)
ARLIAN PRINCE: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.
ARLIAN PRISONER: Welcome to Oz, bitch! (Zettai: Wow...) That's right, (to Vegeta) you with the spiky hair, you're going to be my BITCH! (Shakara: He's still going?) I'm going to sell you for a cigarette- but not before I violate you, because you're my BI-
(Scene cuts to the Arilan throne room)
ARLIAN KING: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist! Right, my quee- (throne room shakes as an explosion occurs offscreen) (Shakara: Oh okay, I was wondering where the boom was.) What in the great Arlian moon was that?
NAPPA: Hi!
ARLIAN KING: Who the f*** are you two?
Nightmare King laughed "That's a shit job they did there! Didn't even bring them to the King!"
NAPPA: Hi, I'm Nappa, and that's Vegeta. He was a prison bitch.
The laughter that broke out was absurd, "Wait, wait, wait, so he was violated first, and then he blew up the prison?" Zettai asked between laughs, "Oh yes! Definitely!" Paint Agreed.
VEGETA: Shut the hell up, Nappa!
NAPPA: 'Kay.
VEGETA: Anyway, we're here because my partner's an idiot. Now that we've got introductions out of the way, I think I'll just kill you and-
NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.
VEGETA: Oh God, what now?
NAPPA: (notices Arlian Queen) I think that's their queen. I'm curious how they breed.
"On one hand, I feel like I should take notes, on the other, I really want to look away" Anomaly weighed their options.
VEGETA: Oh, goddammit, Nappa- that's disgusting! I say we just-
NAPPA: (To Arlians) Hey, you guys, breed for us!
ARLIAN KING: Why should we listen to you? (Arlians guards begin surrounding Vegeta and Nappa) You're surrounded by my thirteen elite... (Nappa kills guards with an explosion) ...dead guards. (Tauira: Not much of a choice, huh?) (to his wife) Well, you heard him, honey.
NAPPA: They're not doing anything, they're just standing on top of each other and... (a snapping sound is heard while both Arlians start mating) (Shakara: Oookaaay! Yeah! No! Paint! Buckets! Please!/ Paint: Right away!*Creates buckets*) Awww, there we go!
(Nappa takes his cell phone and takes a picture. Vegeta's cell phone vibrates, and he takes out his cell phone and sees the picture.)
"Oh. No. Why!" Tauira said before vomiting in her bucket, Shakara and Nezumi followed after.
VEGETA: (disgusted from what he saw) Oh, goddammit, Nappa!
(scene changes to Earth, on a barren wasteland)
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth- Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.
GOHAN: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you gonna teach me today? A brand new technique? How to sense energy? What about how to fly-
PICCOLO: Dodge! (Tamaka: And he still didn't take notes!/ Shakara: Thought he'd learn by now!) (kicks Gohan)
(scene cuts to the barren wasteland at dusk, Gohan is seen injured, has a wart covering his right eye and is sweating)
GOHAN: (thinking)Oh man, this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult. But I think I'm finally getting the hang of it-
PICCOLO: DODGE!
GOHAN: What? (gets blasted at point-blank by Piccolo) WAAAAAAAAAAA-
(scene cuts to Piccolo and Gohan in the middle of the wasteland accompanied with a long silence)
PICCOLO: (punches Gohan in the face) DOOOOOOODGE!
GOHAN: Aaaah!
(scene shifts to the Hall of Justice)
Hatsu facepalmed knowing that this wasn't even the right show.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...
SUPERMAN: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans. They're approaching Earth quickly, and I don't think we have the strength to take them on alone. Batman, what are your thoughts?
BATMAN: Well, I think...
AQUAMAN: (offscreen) I have an idea!
BATMAN: Oh God, it's Aquaman...
AQUAMAN: (offscreen) Come on, guys, we could use whales! WHAAALES!
SUPERMAN: Someone, get him out of here!
AQUAMAN: (sadly; offscreen) I'ma whaaaaales...
(Scene shifts to planet Arlia)
"Are they going to kill them? I'd rather see that instead of whale guy or whatever his name was." Avaritia commented, "What even is a whale?" Anomaly asked, "No data found." Virus responded, "Huh, maybe went extinct or something." Anomaly rationalized.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...
ARLIAN KING: There, I banged my wife, will ya leave us in peace?
VEGETA: Actually, no, I'm still going to kill you.
The viewers cheered at the good news.
ARLIAN KING: Summon the Rancor!
(the Rancor arises from the ground, which is a gigantic Arlian)
NAPPA: Vegeta... It's... It's... It's so cute! (Starrow: I'm not even surprised anymore!) Can I keep it? Can I keep it?
VEGETA: Fine, just catch it or something.
NAPPA: Yay! (Rancor tries to attack Nappa, who grabs its hand) Here boy, shake- (rips off one of the Rancor's fingers) Ahhh, I got your finger. Okay, now boy, catch the ball. Catch the ball! (hurls a blast at the Rancor, completely destroying it) Hagh! Awwww! Aww, I broked-ed it, Vegeta. It must be made of something weak- like paper maché, or Raditz.
Thinner got a chuckle out of it before an idea came to his mind "Oracle! How about you judge how many Raditzes the characters are worth starting from next episode?" He suggested getting laughter in return and an agreeing nod from his Wife.
ARLIAN KING: (the audio downgrades in quality) (terrified and begins running up to his throne) Please, I'll do anything you want! (Vegeta begins hurling debris at the king's throne) We'll give you riches, womens- (Zettai: Everything, BUT that!/ Nezumi: If the ladies lady says that, you know it's worrisome) Wait, what are you doing?
VEGETA/Hatsu: He's/I'm about to rock you... like a hurricane.
ARLIAN KING: I love that song! (debris hits the king in the torso, killing him) AAUGHWRR!
VEGETA: Ha, did you see that, Nappa- that was totally bada- (looks towards Nappa) What are you doing?
NAPPA: (offscreen) I'm cuddling it, Vegeta.
"I wonder if he went to this school thing the other worlds have." Avaritia suggested, "If he did, I'm worried about what they teach." Starrow replied.
VEGETA: It's dead, Nappa.
NAPPA: NOOOOOO! (cries) Oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta.
(flashback of Nappa Killing the Rancor with Barbara Streisand's "The Way We Were" playing in the background)
NAPPA: (audio returns to normal) Ah, good times.
"It's been a litteral min- You what? Nevermind." Hatsu stoped herself.
ARLIAN: You have freed our race! You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet! We shall erect statues of you...
NAPPA: Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege-
ARLIAN: ...out of our dung.
Disgust filled the room at this point, "They are going to die, right?" Tauira asked.
(silence)
NAPPA: Well, isn't that nice of them, Ve-
VEGETA: We're leaving, Nappa.
NAPPA: 'Kay.
(Vegeta and Nappa fly to their Space Pods and leave Arlia)
NAPPA: Look at us, Vegeta, we saved an entire race from tyranny. We're heroes, Vegeta- we are a couple of really great guy-
(Vegeta exits his pod and destroys Arlia)
"YEEESSS!" Everyone cheered in joy.
NAPPA: Ha ha! Ahaha! Ahh... tragic.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(scene shifts to a barren wasteland with Gohan eating berries)
GOHAN: (thinking)Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself, live on my own,(Shakara: Wait, really?) and surviving off the fat of the land. Mr. Piccolo will be so proud-(gets blasted) YAAAYYYAYAYAY... (falls down and starts mumbling)
PICCOLO: (offscreen) DOOOOOOOOODGE!
"I think it was a fluke" Tamaka said, "Good, good, now if you excuse me, I'm gonna take a shower, the bugs made me feel filthy." Starrow informed, "Okay let's take a pause." Hatsu agreed.