CHAPTER SIX: MOCHI AND PIZZA
In the weeks that followed, Nabiki began hearing a certain tender warmth in Akane's voice when she spoke of Ranma. Even when she complained about him, that feeling still came through. Those occasions, however, suddenly seemed few and far between.
"Thank you, Oneechan," Akane said. She had called randomly about a week or so when her sister had been between late afternoon classes.
"For what?" Nabiki asked distractedly. Other students rushed by as she worked on hurriedly shoving her tablet into her messenger brief.
"I don't know," Akane replied with a soft giggle. "For nothing and everything. I… I just feel happy and alive, like all things are suddenly possible. I think you more than anyone can understand what I mean. Like how you maybe felt when you actually realized that you were going to Todai and finally escaping Nerima?"
Nabiki stopped to laugh. "Actually, I was just trying to get away from you, Lover Boy, and all the craziness. Act of self-preservation. Not quite the same thing."
"I…. I'm sorry we caused so much trouble," Akane said with an uncomfortable laugh of her own. "What I'm trying to say is thank you for making us talk to one another. Like really talk. It's helped me realize some things about myself. Important things."
"I'm glad."
"Can I come over this weekend? I'd like to tell you in person."
"Of course. I have something until 4 or so," Nabiki noted, referring to a commitment she had with Kozue earlier in the day. After weeks of harassment, Nabiki had finally given in and agreed to model a bust for her friend. "But I'm free after."
"I'll come around half 4 then. Maybe we can do dinner? Like old times?"
"Sure."
"Thank you, Oneechan."
# # # # #
"Hold still!" Kozue screamed at Nabiki. "Are you trying to model a frown instead?!"
For the past two hours, she had been perched on the edge of a large window frame with afternoon sun baking the back of her head and her face aching from the facial expression that Kozue had ordered her to hold.
"Fuck, Ishikawa! Why a smirk of all things?" she groused back at the Kansai girl. Kozue had been adamant that no other expression would do for Nabiki.
"Because, my dear Heathen, no one else has one that holds more mystery or beauty than yours," she teased with a parody of impish, seductive allure dripping off her usual lilting, sing-songy Kansai accent. At least Nabiki thought it was a parody. Still, if Kozue were not so openly lewd in her discussions of men, Nabiki could have sworn more than once that her friend was into her.
Kozue laughed. "If I were a man, hell yeah, I'd want you. Look at you!" She paused in her work to spread her plaster-smothered hands to indicate the outfit she had made Nabiki wear for the sitting. Per Kozue at least, using clothing to help elicit a desired expression from a subject was a standard practice for sculptors.
Nabiki had to concede that the outfit Kozue picked did make her look and feel dangerously pretty. The two-part fit-and-flare midi evening dress had a black, long-sleeved turtleneck top and a heavy, brilliant turquoise floral-print A-line silk skirt with white orchids accented with pink and violet hues. Her shoulders were wrapped in a long silk shawl with brilliant, bold, flaming strokes of crimson, royal blue, yellow, and orange. Her long, shapely legs were clad in black tights accentuated by a pair of black patent leather stilettos.
The dress and shoes had been part of the deal to persuade Nabiki to agree to the sitting. Ishikawa's father was an import/export distributor for Ted Baker, Reiss, Louis Vuitton, and other European fashion houses, so she had access to such things with a heavy markdown. Nabiki agreed, reasoning to herself privately that she could later turn the clothes over to a consignment shop for a decent amount or rent them to Akane for one of her increasingly frequent dates with Ranma.
With a sigh, Nabiki recalled how she had ended up in her current situation.
# # # # #
Since that night when Nabiki went with Ranma for sunny side up eggs, the world began to move with a new and different sense of invigorated purpose. Akane agreed to go with Ranma to see yet another play the weekend after. With Nabiki's help, he found tickets for something still thought-provoking, but more light-hearted this time around. They remembered to eat something following the performance too.
Nabiki began to hear less and less from him. To her surprise, she missed the brutal, edgy, rapid-fire zingers that had come to define the witty, easy-going rapport that had developed between them. Few people could hold their own and make her laugh the way he had.
A few times, she called in her end of the deal and asked him to come by and model for a quick sketch or painting. She reasoned that doing so was a reasonable pretense to check up on things from his end. After the third session, however, she realised she should not be taking away time that he could be spending otherwise with Akane. Calling him over ran counter to the deal they had made that night over fried chicken and beer.
Escaping the anxious boredom that followed had been her real motivation for agreeing to model for Kozue. Outside, the inscrutable mask of her cool unflappability and the razor's edge of her vicious wit remained intact — at first. Inside, however, a strange molasses of gray banality gradually settled over things. Aside from going to Setagaya and seeing Daigoro and the others at the Komei School twice per week, little else actually interested her.
Even her inspiration for creating deserted her. The lines and interfaces of light and shadow that she had once been able to so easily see in everything she heard and saw suddenly seemed blurred and vague. Some sort of essence seemed to have left the world, leaving everything simply to exist. Whether or not she thought of or saw any meaning in that existence simply felt agnostically inconsequential. She could not understand why, which was deeply unsettling. When even little William picked up that something about her had changed, she realised that she had to do something.
"Kiki-onee okay?" he asked over ice cream one day.
"I'm fine, William," Nabiki had answered as she affectionately ruffled his hair and hastily plastered a bright smile on her face. "Why do you ask?"
"Well… Kiki-onee's ice cream melted before she could eat it," he replied, pointing at the gooey puddle of melted vanilla and cookie dough chucks on the small table between them.
After she boarded the train heading out of Setagaya, Nabiki dialed Kozue. "I'm free for the next few Saturdays if you are."
# # # # #
To meet Akane on time, Nabiki had to rush back from the Art school still wearing the outfit Kozue had given her under the black three-quarter length long coat that she had hurriedly tossed over her shoulders. The brilliant silk of the turquoise orchid-print skirt and her heels teased their presence beneath the coat's hem. Just as she rounded the tree-lined bend leading up to the residence hall, she caught sight of Akane waiting by the front door.
Akane had in her hands a cloth-wrapped parcel, which Nabiki surmised must have been sent by Kasumi. Akane looked up and smiled as she heard Nabiki approach. Her expression, however, quickly dissolved into an awkward, starstruck gawk as she took in Nabiki's appearance.
"Hello to you too," Nabiki said dryly as she stepped past her speechless sister to wave her student ID at the card reader. "Coming?" she prompted as she held the door open.
"It really must be wonderful to be at a place like Todai," Akane remarked with reverence as she fell in alongside her sister. "You have such a cool sophistication about you now."
"Hardly. And no, this has nothing to do with a date or anything of the sort. I was just doing a favor for a friend."
"Favor…?" Akane asked as she cast her gaze down at her sister's black leggings and patent stiletto heels. "Oh…."
Nabiki laughed at the anxious consternation in her prudish sister's eyes. "Not that kind of favor! Damn, Akane! Why does everyone have such a gutter brain nowadays?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean – "
"Don't worry about it. My face hurts too much to explain right now, but let's just get this straight once and for all. For the record, I am not, nor will I ever be, a kyabakura girl (1) — for any price — and fuck all the losers who'd pay for that shit."
"Oneechan!" a scandalized Akane cried out.
"What?"
"How can you say such things?!"
"I'm no different from who I've always been," Nabiki replied coolly as she keyed them into her room. "And I'm not the one here with scandalized thoughts. Green tea Kit Kat?" she offered, procuring a pair of small, green, foil-wrapped bars out of her desk drawer.
"Oh! That reminds me!" Akane, visibly eager to change the subject, extended her hands toward her sister and offered the cloth-wrapped parcel she had brought. "Sakura mochi from Kasumi-oneechan. Just made this morning. She and Dad send their love and regards."
The mention of Kasumi's mochi brought a warm sense of childhood nostalgia. Nabiki sensed, however, that their older sister was trying to convey some sort of message by sending over the buns. Akiko used to make the sweet, sticky treats for her daughters early each spring around the time the cherry blossoms came. After her death, Kasumi took over making the mochi and sharing the pastries with her sisters as her own annual tradition. They used to laugh and tell silly jokes and stories as they ate. That tradition, however, had somehow fallen by the wayside in the years since the Saotomes moved into their home.
"I… I miss doing this, Oneechan," Akane said as she studied the mochi in her hand.
"Me too," Nabiki agreed. The uncomfortable silence that followed, however, in which the sisters were each left studying their respective buns quickly became too much for Nabiki. "Help unzip me out of this dress while you tell me what's on your mind?"
Akane, almost certainly thinking the same thing, eagerly obliged. "Yes, I do have things to tell you. I don't think Kasumi or Dad would understand."
"Ranma?"
"I… I don't know," Akane started with a shy twiddle of her thumbs. "I wanted to talk to you first since this is kind of about him too."
"I'm listening. Have a seat."
Nabiki indicated her desk chair with a tilt of her chin as she finished slipping into a more typical and sensible ensemble of dark indigo slim fit jeans with a crème top finished off with a peach-colored button down cardigan.
"I am… happier since you pushed Ranma and I to spend time together," Akane started. "When I'm with him now, he shares with me thoughts and insights that are so clear and direct and… refreshing. I feel surrounded by possibilities. He's different from what I used to think he was."
"Which was?"
"Simple, insensitive, uncaring, self-centered."
"Arrogant?" Nabiki offered.
"Oh, he's still that," Akane giggled. "But I finally understand why he's so confident and sure about himself in everything he does. You're the same."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Both of you put yourselves out there, and neither of you are afraid or surprised by the risks and consequences of doing so."
Nabiki took a seat on the bed, crossed her legs, and leaned forward with intrigue. "Surprised, no," she conceded. "Afraid? Only idiots actually have no sense of fear."
"But you still find a way to put yourself out there. You believe that you can be more than what you are and what others say you are."
"What is it you're trying to tell me, Akane?" Nabiki asked, giving her sister a gentle, encouraging smile. "You like him, right?"
Akane nodded. "I do. Except…."
"Except?"
"Except that…. that I like him more than I like myself. I don't think that's right or fair — for either of us."
Akane had always had self-esteem issues out of proportion to her looks and abilities, even if there admittedly were a few things with room for improvement. This was the Achilles heel that had always distinguished her from her sisters. Nabiki recalled her previous words to Ranma about this aspect of her sister's character.
If you figure this one out with her, it will go a long way toward advancing your relationship. In fact, I'll dare say that your window to her heart lies in that direction….
"So what do you want to do, Akane?"
"I only have a few months left at Furinkan, so I really have to think about my future, right?" Akane reached for her purse and pulled out a set of folded papers, which she handed to Nabiki. "My acceptances," she explained.
The names on the letters surprised Nabiki. Like her, Akane had always been an excellent test taker. Her recent Sentaa Shiken (2) results were good enough for her to go pretty much anywhere she wanted. That included even Todai and Kyodai. However, looking at the names in her hand now, Nabiki understood why Akane had wanted to talk to her before anyone else in the family:
Tama Art University
Kyoto City University of the Arts
Osaka Arts University
London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art
Tisch School of the Arts
"These are all arts and theater schools," Nabiki noted, her eyes flashing with surprise and newfound respect for Akane. Her sister clearly had put in a lot of thought and effort — years in fact — into these choices. All of them were very good. Only one, however, was in Tokyo, and two of the five were not even in Japan.
Akane nodded. "You know that theater is the other thing that I've always really liked other than the Art. I've thought about taking my life in that direction for a while now. Seeing all those plays with Ranma and all the things we've talked about these last several weeks made me even more sure. That and, well, I… I…."
"Go on," Nabiki urged gently.
"Those possibilities that I told you I feel when I'm with Ranma, Oneechan?"
"Yes?"
"I… Wonderful as they are, I realized that they're actually all his — every single one tied to and anchored by him. They're not really my own."
Nabiki found herself confused. "You sound angry with him for some reason. Are you?"
Akane vehemently shook her head. "That's not what I'm trying to say. For once, this is not his fault. I'm actually happy for him that he can be like that — but as a woman, I should also have just as much for myself. I need to be more like you."
"Moi?" Nabiki asked, unable to conceal her surprise. "How so? You're the one everyone loved growing up. I was never popular like you."
"No," Akane agreed. "You're better. You're so beautiful, and you do your own thing without regard for what others might think or say. You never apologize or justify being yourself to anyone."
Despite the gravitas of the moment, Nabiki could not stop herself from choking up with laughter. "Sorry, Akane! " she gasped, clutching at her belly. "I don't want to disappoint you, but I'm no Diana, Artemis or Athena here. Just an ex-Ice Queen mercenary forced into semi-retirement on account of age."
Akane, however, did not seem to mind her sister making light of her words. She herself giggled back at Nabiki. "Of course not, but that's what's so… so cool about you. I need to be more like that, strong enough to create my own world and opportunities just like you have for yourself here at Todai. To do that, I… I think I need to leave Nerima and even Tokyo for a while. Maybe even Japan. I have to really find myself before I can decide whether or not Ranma is right for me."
"Or you for him?"
Akane nodded. "Yes, that too. I told you. I don't think my issues would make continuing our current relationship fair for either of us."
Nabiki glanced over at her desk at the discarded wrappings from the buns they had consumed. She suddenly understood everything, including their conservative older sister's annoying message to them both. Kasumi would never read anyone else's letters, but she did receive the mail for the Tendou house each day, and she could read seals and return addresses on envelopes just as well as anyone.
Nabiki's appetite for any more mochi vanished as the ire of the closeted crusader within her stirred yet again. The duty her mother had discharged upon her had been clear: always look after Akane and her interests at all costs. Maybe Kasumi had her own ideas about what those interests might be, but damned those prudish, old-fashioned views and ways. Akane had finally found the balls to do something sensible. Her will and desire to find herself had to be protected — whatever the implications might be for the Saotome-Tendou honor agreement and their respective families.
Of course. Nabiki wondered how Ranma would react. He would inevitably learn or discern that she had been the one to encourage Akane to leave. Would he approach this new crossroads with the refreshingly enlightened contemplation of those chats over fried chicken and sunny side up eggs? Or would he view Nabiki's encouragement of Akane as a betrayal of the fried chicken agreement? Nabiki would simply have to make sure he understood. Ultimately, Akane's self awareness could only pay positive dividends for him and her both – regardless of whether or not they ended up together. Akane deserved to have the time and space to discover and be herself.
Nabiki's pride in Akane as her sister had never been greater than in this moment. Their mother would have been proud too. Biting down on the emotions that memories of Akiko threatened to unleash along with the haunted recollection of what Kozue had just forced Nabiki to endure, she suffered schooling her expression one more time into an amused smirk. "You want my help explaining all of this to Ranma and everyone else. That's why you're here."
Akane nodded. "Am I crazy?"
"Among all those schools, which one do you really want?"
"New York," Akane replied firmly without any hesitation.
Nabiki guessed as much. "Must've been some trip," she mused aloud, recalling how Akane had gone to visit the city with her two friends Yuka and Sayuri two summers ago. Sayuri apparently had relatives who lived there.
"I guess so."
How's your English?" Nabiki asked, abruptly switching languages.
"Maybe better than you think," Akane replied, also switching easily from Japanese.
"I… I didn't know you kept up with it that well," Nabiki admitted, honestly surprised. Akane still definitely remembered (3).
I hope Ranma and everyone else won't be too angry. Please. Will you help me, Nabiki? "
"Don't worry about that," Nabiki said with a firm, dismissive wave of her hand. "You are crazy, Akane, but that's because you're a Tendou — not for realizing that you need to do what you have to do to find yourself. I… I'm proud of you for realizing these things. Mom would be too."
"So you'll help me…?"
Nabiki nodded. "You'll have to be the one who does the talking, but I'll help you figure out how to say it. I'll also help you access the trust fund that Mom left in your name. No charge for any of this. Okay?"
"Oneechan…." Akane said, her eyes shimmering now with her own naked emotions. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she said, crushing the air out of the older girl's lungs with a ferocious glomp of gratitude.
"Akane…," Nabiki gasped. "Normal girl, remember? Not a martial artist. You have to let me live if you want my help…."
"Oh! Sorry!" the chagrined younger girl said as she let go and backed away from her sister.
"This little chat of ours has become too serious," Nabiki grumbled as she massaged her ribs. "We can talk more later. Wanna grab something else to eat other than mochi?"
Akane smiled with an impish light suddenly in her eyes. "How about fried chicken?"
Nabiki laughed. "What else did he tell you about?" Secretly, somehow, she found herself hoping that Akane did not know about the sunny side up eggs, buttered toast, and bacon.
"Canned Kirins, but that's about it. Anything else that I should know?"
"Hmm," she said, feigning thoughtful contemplation to conceal her mental sigh of relief. He would pay though for that little indiscretion about chicken and beer. "He prefers legs and thighs over breasts. Oh, also definitely hens over roosters."
"Oh…" a flummoxed, beat red Akane whispered to herself. "That's… that's gross, Oneechan!"
Nabiki delighted in her unapologetic seizure of the last laugh."How about New York pizza instead?"
# # # # #
CHAPTER NOTES:
(1) Regarding "Kyabakura," the well known Japanese women's studies scholar Kumiko Fujiwara-Fanselow writes in her 2010 book "Japanese Women: Perspectives on Past. Present, and Future":
"Kyabakura, where thousands of Japanese women work as hostesses across the country, are establishments that fall somewhere between a cabaret and a club. They sprang up in the mid-1980s and represent just one of several types of establishments, including "soap lands," pubs, snack bars and "pink salons" that offer various types of services for men.
As a rule, kyabakura hostesses do not engage in sex with their customers, and men are forbidden from touching the women's breasts and other body parts….
… While many of these women look upon hostessing as a career that pays more than a lot of other jobs available to those with not much education or specialized skills, there are college students who work part time in kyabakura to earn spending money or help pay for tuition. The attitude among such students seems to be that as long as the men aren't going to touch their bodies, nothing is wrong in getting paid — and paid much more than working part time at a restaurant or convenience store — if men want to pay money to have a drink or meal with them."
(2) "Sentaa Shiken" refers to the(大学入試センター試験, Daigaku Nyūshi Sentā Shiken), a standardized test that was used for undergraduate admissions for many years by all public and some private universities in Japan. It was held annually during a weekend in mid-January over a period of two days. For many students, the test was the difference between college entrance and one year's study for the next year's exams as a rōnin. Since the test was only administered annually and entrance to top-ranked universities and colleges is so competitive in Japan, the test became a target of scrutiny by many. In addition, rules for tardiness and absences were extremely strict and always resulted in the forfeit of the right to take the exams. There were no "makeup" sessions or re-takes offered except in certain cases such as train outages. The test was replaced in 2021 by a new Common Test for University Admissions (大学入学共通テスト, Daigaku Nyūgaku Kyōtsū Tesuto).
(3) See Chapter Two, chapter note #2.