[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen arriving at Earth.)

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

Avaritia, Starrow and Nightmare King groaned at the returning joke.

VEGETA: (slightly annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (more annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (really annoyed) No!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (now irritated) NO!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (relieved) Yes.

"Thank God!" Starrow exclaimed.

(Space Pods crash through a building and land in the middle of the road, forming two huge craters)

NAPPA: Yaaay!

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene cuts to Vegeta and Nappa landing on the street, in front of a group of shocked citizens)

NAPPA: Hey look, Vegeta, more locals.

Nezumi tilted her head as she noticed something weird, "Why are there animals in the crowd?" Anomaly responded by making an hand motion as to say 'don't think about it'.

(citizens are shown to be completely scared with most of them whimpering)

CITIZEN: ...So, are you guys alien-

(Nappa destroys the entire city, leaving nothing but a gigantic crater)\

Silence filled the room, at least until Zettai quipped "So Nezumi, still worried about the ani-GAAHH!?", she stopped the moment Virus bit her hand, "You seriously think this is the time?" He asked in disappointment of his older cousin.

NAPPA: Ahhh, I hate awkward silences.

VEGETA: Dammit, Nappa, think before you act! What if you'd have blown up one of the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: The what now, Vegeta?

"Vegeta tried, I'll give him that much." Paint commented.

VEGETA: The Dragon Balls, Nappa. Don't you remember our wish?

(flashback of Goku talking to Raditz about the DragonBalls)

GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma's panties!

(back to present)

NAPPA: Yeah, pandas...

"And the stupidity is back, guess we don't need Goku for that." Starrow said.

VEGETA: You know what, Nappa? One of these days you're going to die. Then you'll be out of my hair forever. (caption appears at the bottom of the screen saying "Epic Foreshadowing") (Avaritia: Thank God/ Paint: Yeah, Nappa is starting to get annoying.) Now let's just go. (Vegeta and Nappa fly off towards the Z-Fighters)

(scene changes to a barren wasteland)

PICCOLO: (senses the Saiyans' ki) Gohan, on your guard! They're coming right towards us.

Tamaka nodded at this "Makes sense, Piccolo should be the strongest guy they can find."

GOHAN: But, why would they be headed our way?

PICCOLO: They're probably seeking to eliminate the strongest power level.

GOHAN: (not catching on) But... my dad's dead.

Hearing Gohan throwing Piccolo under the bus like that got a laugh out of everyone.

PICCOLO: (getting irate) I was referring to me!

GOHAN: Oh, well by that logic, I suppose you would have the strongest power level on Earth.

MR. POPO: (appears as a tiny speck on top of a faraway plateau) Hah!

"Ok, wow, this guy is incredibly scary, no matter how you slice it." Shakara admitted, Paint looked at her incredulously "You didn't find him scary before!?", "I didn't find the giant eel leviathan thing scary.", "Touché."

(Krillin arrives at the battlefield)

KRILLIN: Hey, guys, Krillin's here!

PICCOLO: Oh, I thought I sensed someone else coming. Good, it seems you've increased your power since we last met.

Hatsu was genuinely surprised at this "So he's no longer going to be the butt of the joke?"

KRILLIN: I know! Isn't it great? I-

PICCOLO: You're almost as strong as Gohan now.

"I stand corrected" Hatsu quickly changed her tone.

KRILLIN: I- Wait, b-but he's only five...

GOHAN: It's because I'm a Saiyan!

KRILLIN: Well, at least there's only two of you. (Nezumi: Why does that matter?/ Oracle: From what I found out in human networks, the less people know something about someone, the less they are embarassed./ Virus: That's... Okay.) So, uh, how bad was the training with Piccolo?

GOHAN: Well, the training wasn't that bad. Mr. Piccolo's actually really nice after you get to know him.

(flashback of Gohan training with Piccolo)

PICCOLO: Gohan, I've brought you a sparring partner for today.

GOHAN: Really? Who?

(scene cuts to Gohan getting chased by a dinosaur)

Both Shakara and Tamaka were unsure on what to think of this training method, "I mean... Is it stronger than the Saiyans? If yes, then... Ok yeah, they're screwed." Shakara resigned the hope they could somehow defeat the Saiyans.

(back to present)

GOHAN: So how was your training, Krillin?

(Krillin begins whimpering while Mr. Popo can be heard laughing and his eyes comes up behind Krillin.)

KRILLIN: (breaking down crying) First rule of Popo's training: Do not talk about Popo's training!

"I'm suddenly relieved we didn't see their training." Tamaka said.

GOHAN: (puzzled) Krillin, why are you crying?

KRILLIN: (voice starts breaking down) Second rule of Popo's training...

Tauira facepalmed before commenting "They're going to die... 100% sure of that...", Oracle calculated the chances and came up with "37% Gohan and Krillin don't die."

PICCOLO: Aw man, he's already crying- and the Saiyans aren't even here ye-

NAPPA: Yeah we are!

(Vegeta and Nappa has arrived at the battlefield as Mars: The bringer of War by Gustav Holst plays in the background)

NAPPA: Hi.

"Hi, yeah, really interesting, can you die already?" Avaritia requested, most of the others were put off by this behaviour, except for Starrow "Wow, and I thought you couldn't want someone dead more than me when we first met.", "Mom, Dad, what the fuck?" Thinner asked incredulous.

(Vegeta and Nappa land in front of the group)

PICCOLO: So, you guys are the Saiyans?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: Don't be rude, Nappa.

Zettai smirked and joked "Good news everyone, he has a babysitter.", Paint looked at her daughter and corrected "I think you mean he's got a rehabilitator.", "That too."

KRILLIN: And you're here for the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: ...We are. (Lemus: Not really a secret, I can keep a secret better./ Avaritia: Considering you kept one for years, I have to agree.) And I am the prince of all Saiyans!

PICCOLO: You're a prince?

NAPPA: No.

Virus made a so so sign with his hand while saying "Heeeh... Wel, his whole race his dead, so... Prince of two and a half Saiyans."

VEGETA: ...F**k you, Nappa.

PICCOLO: So what do we call you?

NAPPA: I am Nappa, and this is Vegeta. (Hatsu: He's going to mention-) He was a prison...

VEGETA: (interrupting) Shut up, Nappa!

NAPPA: (whispering) ...bitch.

"There it is." Hatsu said.

VEGETA: (Through clenched teeth) Dammit, Nappa.

NAPPA: (notices Piccolo) Oh look, Vegeta, it's a Namekian.

Anomaly took their notes out to confirm "Yeah, that's Piccolo.", "What's a Namekian again?" Shakara asked confused, but got her answer soon after.

KRILLIN: Hey, I take offense to that.

PICCOLO: He's referring to me, you idiot. And it's not an insult; the Namekians are a fine, proud race of-

NAPPA: That means he doesn't have a penis, right Vegeta.

"Wow that must suck" Dreamiv, Shakara, Nezumi and Virus said at the same time, "What's so good about having one?" Thinner asked in curiosity, "You feel good when you... You know." Dreamiv explained, Avaritia and Zettai were quite shocked at the revelation "Natural penises feel good!?"

(Piccolo stands gaping his mouth in shock as snickering from Krillin can be heard off-screen trying not to laugh)

VEGETA: (Amused) Eunuchs.

GOHAN: So what exactly does that make you, Mr. Piccolo (Oracle: Good question, by all means he should be male.) You survive mostly on water- Does that make you a slug or a plant?

Oracle sighed and relented "Not where I was going to, but good question."

PICCOLO: (trying to restrain his anger) Gohan, not now!

GOHAN: And do you also conduct photosynthesis or do you-

PICCOLO & NAPPA: NEEEEEERD!

"I think they're siblings" Starrow joked, "Wouldn't surprise me." Tamaka admitted.

GOHAN: Wait, what?

(a couple of news helicopters arrive at the battlefield)

MR. KENT: These are them, folks- the terrible monsters who destroyed West City! (Lemu: Of course, because the first time Shade attacked we let people stay around!/ Shakara: Wait, really?/ Lemus: NO! Come on Shakara!) Jimmy, hurry up and get a shot of the bald one.

JIMMY: (looks at Nappa, Krillin, and Piccolo) Um, Which one, Mr. Kent?

NAPPA: Look, Vegeta, the Paparazzi. I have to protect my image! (destroys a cargo robot)

JIMMY: Oh, my God, he blew up the cargo robot! And the cargo was people! (Avaritia: What- I- They-/ Zettai: Grandma, I think the phrase you're looking for is 'Are you fucking insane!?"/ Avaritia: Yeah, thank you!) (the rest of the news helicopters leave)

NAPPA: Good, now I'm gonna read their power levels, Vegeta.

(Nappa uses his scouter to read Gohan, Piccolo, and Krillin's power levels, which reads 0.8 Raditz for Gohan, 1.1 Raditz for Piccolo, and 0.9 Raditz for Krillin)

"So it's measured in Raditzes." Virus noted down, "I thinks it's mokery towards Raditz." Anomaly explained.

VEGETA: (removes his scouter) Nappa, don't you understand? They can hide their power levels- those readings are useless.

NAPPA: (also removes his scouter) You mean like YouTube friends?

VEGETA: Yes, and I have a better way of testing their power levels. Plant the Saibamen.

Oracle smiled as she said "We finally see what these Saibamen are!"

NAPPA: (plants a seed at the ground) Yay!

(six Saibamen erupt from the ground)

"I want to forgeet it for some reason!" Oracle exclaimed at the sight.

NAPPA: Ta-da!

PICCOLO: (shocked) Wha-what are those?

VEGETA: They're cultivated life forms. All with the same power level as Raditz. (Paint: Wow... Imagine if we could plant Shiva Samba's/ Starrow: Paint! What the fuck!?) That's right; he was so weak, we could actually grow Raditzes!

NAPPA: But, Vegeta, then you have to worry about the Fraggles.

VEGETA: Oh God dammit, Nappa, nobody's going to get that.

Dreamiv nodded in agreement "That's right! I don't even know what they are!"

TIEN: (off-screen) As a matter of fact...

(Tien and Chiaotzu arrive at the battlefield)

TIEN: I did.

VEGETA: (sarcastically) Oh, goody, more of them. Who the hell are you?

NAPPA: Vegeta, look, more bald people, (Nezumi: You're bald too, moron!) (looks at Krillin) the small one, (looks at Piccolo and Tien) the two tall ones, and- (looks at Chiaotzu) Ah... Ah... Vegeta! Look, a Pokémon.

"I'm going to have an aneurysm." Starrow lamented.

CHIAOTZU: I'm not a Pokémon! I'm Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!

NAPPA: Did you hear that, Vegeta? It's a Chiaotzu. (holds a Poké Ball) (Zettai: You can't be serious./ Lemus: I'm afraid he is.) I'm gonna catch it!

CHIAOTZU: I told you, I'm not a Poké- (gets hit by a Poké Ball) OW!

NAPPA: Awwww, it didn't work, Vegeta.

VEGETA: That's because you have to damage it first.

Everyone made a blank face at what Vegeta said, "That's one way to get someone to submit... Not one that I agree with though." Nightmare King commented, "Honestly? I feel like this is going to get worse." Shakara responded.

NAPPA: Alright, let's see if I can get a critical!

(Chiaotzu flinches in response; Yamcha arrives at the battlefield)

YAMCHA: Hey, guys, I'm here now.

Oracle scanned him and said "He's... A quarter Raditz...", "Wow..." Everyone else said.

KRILLIN: (joyfully) It's Yamcha!

YAMCHA: That's right- don't worry, guys, we worked ourselves half to death with our training, so I know as long as we stick together, we'll take on these Saiyans, and WE WILL WI-

(Saibamen latches onto Yamcha and self-destructs. All that's left after the explosion is Yamcha's corpse.)

While there was stunned silence at the scene, the general idea was 'that went about as well as I expected.'

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Yeah...! Woooo...!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(Nappa is naming the remaining five Saibamen, with an arrow pointing to the first four from right to left)

NAPPA: And that one's Snuggles, (Starrow: Oh please.) and that one's Foofoo, (Avaritia: Foofoo?) and that one's Cabbagehead, (Nezumi: They do look like cabbages.) and that one's Other-Cabbagehead, (Zettai: They do look like the face of originality.) (shows a Saibamen struggling to get up) and that one's Vegeta Jr.

[Vegeta kills Vegeta Jr.]

"Pride: Saved" Virus stated.

NAPPA: Vegeta Jr., Nooooo!

"I'll wait for Vegeta Jr. Jr." Nezumi said, but Anomaly quickly burst that bubble "That's not how it works.", "Well... Time to see the slaughter." Hatsu commented before putting the next episode.