"So..." Hatsu started pretty sheepishly, "What is it..." Shakara pried, "There are... Still two things... Before the movies..." Hatsu finished, "Just get it over it so we can move over to the actual plot." Starrow instructed.
(shows an outside shot of Planet Vegeta with the sound of an infant crying being heard)
"Is this Goku's story?" Paint asked, "Maybe how he got to earth." Oracle suggested.
NARRATOR:Long ago, on a planet long forgotten by time...a young hero was born. A righteous Saiyan warrior who would bring peace to the galaxy. This...is not his story. (Avaritia: I'm pretty sure it is...) This is the story of another Saiyan warrior, who slaughtered millions of innocents and brought terror to those who heard his name. (Tauira: And we want to hear that because?) And that name is...
("Bardock: Father of Goku Abridged" appears on the screen)
"Pardon?" Dreamiv asked, "Yeah what he said, what?" Nezumi agreed.
(Cut to Bardock and his crew in their Ōzaru forms causing a rampage on Planet Kanassa with "Dare" by Stan Bush playing in the background. By morning, all of the Kanassans have been exterminated and shows everyone but Bardock laughing.)
"I think I know which one is Bardock." Thinner commented, "Yes, the fat one, clearly." Starrow joked, getting a chuckle from the others.
PUMBUKIN: And then I tell the guy, "Don't be angry, I'm just Saiyan!" (Shiva Samba: That's not funny./ Avaritia: You're telling me.) (everyone but Bardock start laughing) And then I tore out his throat.
"Somehow it's even less funny now." Shiva Samba corrected herself.
(silence)
TOMA: Hey, Bardock, heard you had another kid. (Takama: So Goku is a baby here./ Virus: Either that or his mother died on earth before giving birth./ Thinner: Virus what the hell?) Congrats. Who's the mom?
"Yeah, will we get to know her?" Zettai asked, "Probably not." Nezumi replied.
PUMBUKIN: I bet it's Selypa. I see the way you two look at each other.
"Just by looking at them, ti would never work between them." Paint commented.
BARDOCK: Nah, it'd never work out between us.
"Why though?" Thinner asked.
TOMA: Why not?
BARDOCK: Are you kidding? She's a raging dyke.
"I see..." Thinner nodded in understanding.
SELYPA: I'm right here, you asshole!
BARDOCK: And?
SELYPA: God, this is why I hate men.
BARDOCK-Shakara: Point proven.
PUMBUKIN: So, uh, why did we attack this rock in the first place?
"Because you wanted to?" Takama guessed.
BARDOCK: I dunno. (Lemus: Because they're idiots.) The mission briefing said this planet was full of psychics.
"Wait what?" Avaritia asked.
TOMA: Wait a second. Doesn't that mean they can see the future? (Avaritia: Yeah.) Don't you think they should have seen us coming?
"There's no connection between intelligence and psychic abilities." Starrow explained.
BARDOCK: Just because they're psychic doesn't mean they're smart.
TOMA: But, aren't psychics supposed to have unbelievable mental-
"Don't have to be smart to have those." Starrow reiterated.
(a surviving Kanassan warrior [named Toolo] emerges from the rubble)
TOOLO: I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUURE!
"Don't you need a brain to use said psychic abilites?" Shakara asked, "Maybe I'm wrong." Starrow conceded.
PUMBUKIN: Hey, look! One survived.
TOOLO: Oh no, they can see me! (Paint: You think?) I have to stop you from destroying my race... (Dreamiv: Are we sure they're psychic?) in the futuuuure!
BARDOCK: We already did that.
TOOLO: (silence) I knew you'd do that! (Nightmare King: They DID that!/ Tauira: They remind me of fish honestly.) Now I have to kill you! (rushes at Bardock and hits him in the back of the neck) Now you too can see the futuuuure! (Anomaly: One problem solved, now the other problem./ Nezumi: Other problem?) (gets blasted by Toma) WAH!
(camera pans over the burning Kanassan, moment of silence)
TOOLO: I'M ON FIIIIIRE! (gets blown up by Bardock) AH!
TOMA: Well, that was...odd.
PUMBUKIN: Hey, Bardock. What do you think he meant about you seeing the future? (Anomaly: That problem.) Bardock? (Bardock collapses on the ground) Bardock? Bardock? Say nothing if you want me to eat the remains of that alien. (Zettai: What about this headache?/ Anomaly: Two problems.) (is heard making munching noises as the screen goes black)
Everyone was a bit grossed out, except Takama, Shakara, Tauira and Nezumi, "Why is everyone making that face?" Tauira asked.
(cut to Freeza)
ZARBON: Lord Freeza, the reports are saying that Kanassa has been seized.
"That's... The dumbest name..." Shakara commented, "Says Enma?" Dreamiv pointed out, "I did not name myself." Shakara countered, "Yes, you did." Everyone else responded, "Hold on. Freeza?" Lemus noticed.
FREEZA: (sounding like an old hag) Thank you, Zarbon. (Shiva Samba: What's that voice!?) That's very good to hea- (starts coughing and then speaks in his normal voice) Ah, sorry about that. (Shiva Samba: That's much better.) I had something in my throat. Continue, Zarbon.
ZARBON: The reports say that it was overtaken by a group of low-level Saiyans led by Bardock.
Nightmare King rose his eyebrow "So he's well known?"
DODORIA: Yeah, that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.
"Apparently?" Virus confirmed.
ZARBON: He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything.
Oracle frowned, "That's wrong..."
FREEZA: Hmm... Doesn't afraid of anything, indeed...
Oracle facepalmed now "Still wrong..."
(cut to Bardock inside a healing tank)
Virus scanned the green liquid, "Liquid identified as... S.P.U.G..." He said with disgust, "Why..." Nezumi lamented.
BARDOCK: (thinking)What...? What's going on?(Anomaly: Future vision.) (sees Planet Vegeta exploding) (Starrow: I think he doesn't want to have it right now.) Is...that my planet? (sees his son as an infant and then as a kid) Wait, who is...? Is that my son? (Avaritia: He looks exactly like him./ Dreamiv: That's what I thought too when I saw that other Iris, but you don't have a brother.) Where is he? Hold on... Is he befriending that alien race? (Virus: I guess they would be aliens to him./ Anomaly: Am I an alien?/ Zettai: Is grandpa Starrow an alien?/ Starrow: I'm right here...) Oh, I get it. He must be earning their trust before he slaughters them all.(Oracle: Right. Murderous.) (screen goes black) Wait...now everything's gone dark. (Avaritia: This reminds me of...) Is...is it over? Am I...? (Mr. Popo's face appears on the screen)
MR. POPO: Hi.
"AAAAAAHHHH!" Avaritia screamed, jumping back, prompting laughter from everyone else, "That's not funny!" She yelled.
(Bardock lets out a muffled scream as the water in the healing tank drains down)
Avaritia pointed to the screen "See!?"
SCIENTIST: Bardock, are you all right? Your heart rate skyrocketed.
"Why does that sound wrong?" Oracle asked, "It's correct though." Paint pointed out, "It is, but it sounds wrong." Oracle insisted.
BARDOCK: *gasps* I'm okay! I'm okay. It's just...eyes. Where am I, anyway?
SCIENTIST: Well, you're on Freeza Planet 692.
"Pardon?" Starrow said.
BARDOCK: Man, you'd think with all his free time he'd come up with better names for his planets.
(cut to Freeza inside his ship)
ZARBON: So Lord Freeza. Now that we have Kanassa under our command, what shall we-
FREEZA: 419!
"Oh ye've got to be kiddin'" Starrow muttered.
ZARBON: Right, right...
(cut back to Bardock)
BARDOCK: Anyway, where's my team? Are they already on a new mission?
"Already?" Paint and Shakara questioned.
SCIENTIST: Yes, well, it seems that Freeza passed down a new mission just two hours ago. (Takama: What the- How long has he been out? He received a chop to the back of the neck!) By the way, while your here, would you like to see your son, Kakarrot?
"Baby Goku!" Tauira cheered.
BARDOCK: Kaka-wha? (Thinner: Seriously?/ Lemus: I'd be surprised if he wasn't...) Oh right, his name. Nah. Think I'll pass. Didn't pay attention to Raditz when he was growing up.
SCIENTIST: Oh, yes, and we both know how he turned out...
"If we go back to episode one for a moment." Hatsu mused with a smirk, and everyone else giggled.
(Bardock pauses for a brief moment and then cuts to him standing in front of a nursery with Kakarrot crying inside.)
Everyone looked at "Goku" and were like "He looks nothing like Bardock."
BARDOCK: Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! (thinking)Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... (scouter starts beeping) All right... Whoa...! 10,000! (Takama: Numbers don't mean a thing, but wow!/ Oracle: I know right? Even with numbers I can't believe it.) That's my boy! (sees name plaque)(Nightmare King: And it isn't Goku!) Wait...Broly? (shifts over to Kakarrot's plaque) (Nightmare King: That's better.)Ah, here we go. (scans Kakarrot with his scouter) Kakarro- (starts groaning in dismay) Two? (Everyone: What!) Crap!(out loud) There is no possible way this day could get any more disappointing... (runs off)
Shiva Samba shook her head and said "Disappointing? From that to saving the multiverse!? Where were the Saiyans when the world was going to sh*t!?"
(cut to another planet with Toteppo getting killed)
Shakara pat Shiva Samba on the head and explained "See that? That is disappointing.", Tauira put her hand on Shakara's shoulder "People are dying.", but Shakara just replied "Yup."
TOMA: Bardock's going to be so disappointed.
DODORIA: I think Bardock is the least of your concerns.
"To be fair, I wouldn't want to disappoint Takama." Shakara admitted and the aforementioned Priroda pulled her into a hug.
TOMA: Why? I don't understand. We've served Freeza loyally. (Dodoria picks him up)
DODORIA: Seems Freeza wants you dirty Saiyans out of the picture... And I'm just willing enough to oblige him.
TOMA: Don't you get it? Chances are someday he's just going to kill you, too.
Avaritia thought about it for moment before realizing "He's right... Uh..."
DODORIA: Yeah, well, see... I'm more of a "in-the-now" kinda guy. Like, what am I gonna eat now? (Shakara: Why is this guy in my head?) What am I gonna kill now? (Nezumi: Now he's in my head.) And in this regard, you're probably gonna be both.
"And that's just disgusting." Shakara and Nezumi said at the same time, "I know you're daughter and father, but how are you so in sync?" Thinner asked.
TOMA: You... You won't get away with this.
DODORIA: Oh, yeah? Well tell me something... What looks like crap, feels like crap, and probably ain't gonna wake up in the morning?
TOMA: Is... Is it me?
DODORIA: And that's the punchline.
"Boooh." Starrow shamed.
(Dodoria throws Toma in the air and punches him in the jaw before cutting to Bardock arriving at the planet)
BARDOCK: (sees multiple corpses of the planet's inhabitants) Whoa, looks like I'm late to the party. (Nezumi: Just a few seconds too late.) Where's the gang- (sees the corpses of his crew) Oh... Oh. Oh, God! Guys... Tell me you're just resting in the blood of your enemies! Selypa... Totepo... Pumbukin? Toma?
TOMA: (weakly and coughs a few times) P-present...
"Oh my me! He's alive!" Shiva Samba gaped, "Aren't you the Goddess of everything?" Nightmare King asked, "...Just like I told the last guy who asked me, omnipotence doesn't imply omniscence."
BARDOCK: Toma! Oh, thank God Toma, you're okay. I'll be honest, you're the only one I really cared about. Everyone else was kinda bland. 'Cept for Selypa, she was the only one here with a decent pair of t-
Paint face palmed, "Of course."
TOMA: Bardock...listen. Freeza's...turned on us. He's afraid of the Saiyans. He sent someone to...to take us out.
"I'll take notes." Oracle informed.
BARDOCK: (terrified) Oh, God! He sent the Ginyu Force?
TOMA: No...
BARDOCK: (less terrified) Zarbon?
TOMA: No...
BARDOCK: (disappointed) Dodoria?
TOMA: Sorry...
Oracle noted everything "So Dodoria is at the bottom of the food chain."
BARDOCK: Listen, it won't end like this! We're not too far from a healing planet. We're gonna get you fixed up. We'll get you better, we'll warn everyone else, and then we'll- (Toma closes his eyes and dies) (thinking) My best friend just died in my arms, didn't he? Yep... Yeeep... (removes Toma's handkerchief and cleans the blood off his fallen comrade's face) All right, Plan B. Don't worry, my friends. You shall all be avenged! (clutches Toma's handkerchief, which starts turning red with blood) If Freeza's afraid of us, I'm gonna give him something to be afraid of. (starts tying the bloody handkerchief on his forehead) Then I'll know why I'm still alive... And I'm gonna rain hot vengeance down upon every single one of those sons of bi-
"...I actually feel upset." Shakara said outloud, "This may be a parody, but there's lot of tear jerkers." Hatsu explained.
(Eachpe fires a bunch of ki blasts at Bardock)
EACHPE: All right guys, let's hit the show- (scouter beeps as Bardock appears above him) Tell my brother, Appule, I love him! (Zettai: Do you think that will ever come up again?/ Virs: Why are you asking me?) (Bardock hits him hard on the skull) Aaah... (starts falling to the ground)
MANGO: Eachpe, no! (he and his comrades fire a ki blast at Bardock, who vanishes before all three blasts connects) Where the hell is he?
LEMI: Keep sharp! These Saiyans can pull off all kinds of tricks! You have to be very careful-
MANGO: Got him! (fires a ki blast through the smoke, accidentally shooting down his teammate)(All the fighter- Scratch that, everyone facepalmed.) Pierre, no! You dirty monkey!
LEMI: You're the one who killed him, you ass!
"Yes! Just- Jump off a cliff!" Tauira exclaimed, "You sound extremely sour about that." Paint told her, "And you're not!?" Tauira questioned, "Fair enough." Paint conceded.
MANGO: Oh, gee Lemi, I never thought of it like tha- Shut the f**k up! (Zettai: Who shoved the stick up his- Virus covered her mouth to shut her up.) (both of them start charging at Bardock)
BARDOCK: (thinking) Man, I can't believe they lost to these guys! What a bunch of- (starts having another vision) Oh, sweet crap, not again!
KAKARROT (GOKU): (through vision) Kaio-ken!
BARDOCK: Kaio-wha- (gets kneed in the face) Ugh!
"Blast from the... Future." Lemus mused, "I wasn't expecting that." Hatsu admitted.
(Lemi grabs Bardock from behind as Mango proceeds to punch him in the stomach. Bardock starts having another vision.)
BARDOCK: (through vision) For years, you've kept us under your foot...
"...Nooo..." Takama said, realizing what they were seeing, "What's wrong?" Anomaly asked, "If it goes down the way I think it will, you'll know." Takama explained.
BARDOCK: (thinking as he's getting pummeled in reality) What? Is that me? That's it!
MANGO: NOW, DIE!
(Bardock manages to flip over, causing Lemi to get in the way of the attack)
LEMI: What the f- (gets punched in the back by Mango, coughing up blood) Guah! (Badrock breaks free and fires a ki blast) Goddamn it, Mango, you team-killing f**ktard! (Starrow: At least you told him.) (both he and Mango scream as they get disintegrated by the blast)
BARDOCK: (thinking)I understand what I have to do now. I'm going to raise an army. We're going to rebel against Freeza. And nothing is going to stop me. (Anomaly: Ohh... I see now. Going to get himself killed.) (scouter starts beeping) What the-?(turns to see Dodoria charging up a mouth-beam)(out loud) USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS! (screams as he gets engulfed by the blast)
DODORIA: (singing "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen)
Do-do-do, another one bites the dust
Dodo-do-do-do, another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone (flies off)
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust...
Everyone had their ears covered, "This sucks!" Paint exclaimed, "I know!" Thinner agreed.
BARDOCK: (muffled while under his teammates' bodies) Oh, God! It's true! (Everyone: ?) You really do soil yourself when you die! (Nezumi: Oh sweet Shiva Samba!/ Avaritia: We did not need that information!) Ah, it's everywhere! It's in my Dodoria wounds! (frees himself from under the pile and starts coughing) Oh, well, uh, later guys. Off to raise that army. Vengeance... Yada, yada...
(cut to Kakarrot inside a space pod)
OPERATOR 1: All right, little guy. Time to send you to planet "Ee-arth."
Starrow just had a blank face "Really?"
OPERATOR 2: I think it's pronounced "Earth."
OPERATOR 1: That sounds stupid.
OPERATOR 2: You're stupid!
"He is." Starrow agreed.
(cut to Freeza's ship)
FREEZA: So... how did the mission go?
DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.
"Did he destroy the planet before leaving?" Dreamiv asked.
ZARBON: Where are your men?
DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.
"He... Killed them? What is he saying?" Lemus questioned.
FREEZA: So, you're absolutely sure you killed every single living thing on that planet?
DODORIA: Complete...Annihilation.
"If he says that one more time." Shakara threatened.
(Bardock's space pod is seen flying by Freeza's ship)
ZARBON: So, "Complete Annihilation," huh?
"Yes, eat sh*t D*ck Pea C*ck!" Shakara told Dodoria, "Where were you keeping that one? My God." Takama asked astounded.
DODORIA: (stammers a few times before speaking) I'm sorry, Lord Freeza. I'll go take care of it right away.
Zettai made a shooing motion as she said "You already messed up enough."
FREEZA: Oh, forget about it. He's already on a direct course for Planet S.O.L.
"Oracle?" Thinner asked his wife, "Sh*t outta luck." Oracle answered, "Accurate." Said Anomaly.
ZARBON: Planet what?
FREEZA: (groans) Planet...
(cut to Bardock)
BARDOCK: (thinking) Vegeta! I've gotta warn King Vegeta.
"Stop! Stop! Stop! What!?" Zettai questioned, "Planet Vegeta! Home to King Vegeta! Father to Prince Vegeta!" Shiva Samba laughed, "That's so narcissistic!" Lemus commented.
(cut to a bar with many Saiyans socializing as George Thorgood's "Bad to the Bone" plays in a radio)
BARDOCK: (enters inside from a door) You guys! Freeza's going to... (hit a table) Augh! (falls to the ground) Who put that table there?
Virus facepalmed "Why is the first place he goes to a bar?", "What's wrong with a bar?" Shakara asked.
SAIYAN 1: Dude, Bardock, are you wasted?
BARDOCK: Nooo. But my crew is...
SAIYAN 2: You smell like poo!
BARDOCK: Listen to me! We don't have much time. Freeza's on his way here and he plans to kill us all! We have to raise an army and-
SAIYAN 3: You're mom's an army! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing)
BARDOCK: What are you, stupid?! Do you-
SAIYAN 4: You face is stupid! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing again)
"I see the problem." Shakara said.
BARDOCK: Augh! Do you idiots even get it? Freeza's about to commit genocide on our entire race!
(short pause)
SAIYAN 5: Cool story, bro! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing once more)
BARDOCK: You know what? F**k it! I'm done! I hope you all die and go to hell! (runs off)
SAIYAN 6: Wow, that guy's a douche.
"You're the douche!" Anomaly exclaimed.
BARDOCK: (thinking)Screw them! I don't need an army. I took on those elites, I can take on this tyrant! (Dreamiv: Considering Vegeta said he works for said tyrant, I'd say it's a resounding NO.) Freeza must be stopped...no matter the cost!
("You Got The Touch" by Stan Bush starts playing as Bardock flies off towards Freeza's ship)
ZARBON: Lord Freeza, Bardock is approaching from the planet-
FREEZA: Waves of Freeza-soldiers...
"How many rebellions has he dealt with?" Paint asked, "Hold on..." Said Shiva Samba, "...About fifty." She counted.
(multiple Freeza soldiers start flying down from the ship)
DODORIA: It's raining men!
ZARBON: Hallelujah!
Hatsu sighed before saying "Oh my God."
BARDOCK: FREEZA!
"I'm pretty sure he can he-" Thinner was about to say, but got interrupted by "FREEZA!", "...WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT!?" Exclaimed Nezumi, "I think it was still travelling through space..." Anomaly theorized, "Same volume as the episode, that's quite impressive." Oracle commented.
(soldiers simultaneously fire a ki blast at Bardock)
SOLDIER 1: Yeah, take that- (Bardock rushes forward and elbows him in the face)
BARDOCK: FREEZA!
(Bardock flies through the multiple soldiers, killing a few of them in the process)
BARDOCK: FREEZA! (gets dogpiled by multiple soldiers) FREEZA!
Zettai growled "We get it! You want to shove your fist up his a*s! Shut up!"
SOLDIER 2: Ah, yo, Bardock, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but-
(Bardock launches a blast to free himself and continues flying forward, ramming through multiple soldiers. It then shows the onslaught through a monitor at Freeza's ship.)
ZARBON: Sir, I think he wishes to have words.
"You think?" Tauira sarcastically said.
FREEZA: Oh, whatever gave you that impression?
ZARBON: Well, he does keep on shouting your name.
BARDOCK: (over the speaker) FREEZA!
Starrow actually started clapping, "I know right?" Agreed Avaritia.
FREEZA: Just get my freaking bubble car.
"I'm not even going to ask." Virus stated.
ZARBON: Too bad. That Bardock was such a dashing rogue...
DODORIA-Everyone: What?
(Freeza emerges from inside his ship on his bubble car, which makes a Jetsons mobile sound effect)
BARDOCK: There you are, Freeza! I've been looking for you.
FREEZA: Well, I'm not exactly hard to find!
"His spaceship is right outside the planet's atmosphere, it should be impossible to find, no way." Takama said with pure irony, "There was so much iron in that sentence I thought there was steel gas in the air..." Nightmare King commented.
BARDOCK: We've had enough of this! We're done working for you, Freeza!
SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Uh, just so you know, that man does not speak for us!
"To be fair, he is about to get them killed." Lemus noted.
BARDOCK: We're here to kill you, and take our planet for our own!
SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Seriously, we're not with him!
BARDOCK: For years, you've kept us under your foot... (continues speaking inaudibly under Freeza's thoughts)
FREEZA: (thinking)Oh, lord, these heroic types with their speeches. "Blah, blah, blah, injustices. Blah, blah, blah, tyranny. Blah, blah, blah, Freeza, stop killing me!" God, does he have any idea how hard it is to run an empire? (Shakara-Tauira: Not THAT hard.) I've got other things to do today, you know... Like decide what wine will I have for dinner tonight. White wine, red wine, or dare I say...rosé? Oh, perhaps I should give Cooler a call; his birthday's coming up. (Nezumi: His... Uncle?) Nah, he's a prick. Wait a second, where was I? Oh right, mass genocide.(starts charging a Supernova)
"A normal tuesday." Shakara facepalmed.
BARDOCK: ...end your miserable life, once and for all! (starts charging up a ki blast) Now... Take this, Freeza! The power of the Saiyan race! (hurls his blast at Freeza) Hyah!
(Bardock's blast is seen flying towards Freeza and his growing Supernova and gets swallowed by the tyrant's blast. Freeza starts laughing madly and fires his now massive Supernova directly at Planet Vegeta.)
Everyone just stared at how useless that was, "If happened to me... I'd probably start crying..." Zettai admitted, "I don't blame you, I'm seeing it and I can feel Bardock's hopelessness from here." Virus agreed.
BARDOCK: (thinking) Well, I'd say I should have seen this coming, but that would be ironic...
(Bardock gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova, with many pieces of his armor falling off)
BARDOCK: (thinking)I see it... My son. He... He's facing Freeza! He's gonna do it! He's going to avenge our people! (Lemus: Yes! Kill the bastard!) But, wait... Wait, there's more... He fights...a giant green bug...man. (Avaritia: Does that feel personal?/ Lemus: Kind of.) And then a...giant...pink...man-child. (Dreamiv: What adventures has Goku been up to before we met him?) Oh, no. It's dark again! Where...? What is...?
Avaritia got a little scared "No, not Popo aga-"
PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara...
PARAPARA BROS.: Bonpappa!
PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!
PARAPARA BROTHER 2: I'm gonna lay this one down thick like whole milk!
PARAPARA BROTHER 3: Raise the cane, ra-ra, ra-ra-raise!
PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!
Silence... Just silence.
BARDOCK: (thinking) And I now welcome the sweet embrace of death... (Supernova falls and collides with Planet Vegeta)
"I don't blame him." Takama said, "I hated every second of it." Nezumi said, "Why?" Shiva Samba asked, "That made no sense." Thinner rubbed his temples.
(cut to Cooler in his spaceship)
SAUZA: Monsieur Cooler! (Hatsu: Wait, what's that accent!?) It seems that your brother is destroying ze Planet Vegeta!
COOLER: Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys. (Nezumi: Oh, his brother!/ Tauira: I see the resemblance.) Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could have done that at the zoo...
SAUZA: Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship. We are within range to intercept-
COOLER: No, let it go.
SAUZA: But, why?
COOLER: Because, I'm a prick.
Oracle nodded "I see the resemblance too now."
(cut to Planet Vegeta getting destroyed)
NARRATOR: And so, Planet Vegeta was destroyed, along with all its inhabitants. Save a lone Saiyan child...and his brother...and a space pirate...and a renegade monster and his father...and, of course, Prince...
(cut to kid Vegeta and Nappa)
NAPPA: Vegeta!
"Is he going to cry?" Starrow asked.
VEGETA: What is it, Nappa?
NAPPA: Well, I've got good news...and bad news. (Nightmare King: HOw is there good news?) The bad news is...reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.
"Oh so this is where that Wiki page thing started" Virus nodded.
VEGETA: Aah... But, what about-
NAPPA: Aaand your father.
VEGETA: My whole family...! My race!
Anomaly frowned "Vegeta is about to cry, while Nappa-"
NAPPA: But the good news is, we're going to Dairy Queen!
"-Is Nappa."
VEGETA: My entire race is go-
NAPPA: DAIRY QUEEN!
VEGETA: Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.
"As long as he shuts up." Starrow rubbed her eyes.
NAPPA: Yaaaay! This seems the beginning of a beauuuutiful friendship...
"And Vegeta's plot for murder." Nezumi added.
(cut to planet Earth with Kakarrot being heard crying...again)
GRANDPA GOHAN: Oh look, someone threw out a perfectly good baby. Aren't you just adorable? I think I'm gonna call you...Clark. Heeeey, Claaarrrk. (thinking) Nah, that sounds stupid. (speaking again) Oh! How about...Goku? (Goku starts laughing) Yes, Goku! You like that, huh? Yes, you do! Whee! Wheee! Wheeeee! Whoops! (Goku is seen landing hard on his head) Uh, oh.
"Shiva Samba." Shakara turned to the Goddess, "No he fell on his own." She reassured.
(credits roll)
"That's one, what's the other?" Shakara asked, "Still about Bardock." Hatsu replied. "But he's dead." Dreamiv reminded.
They were interrupted by the door opening, revealing two girls, one with long blue hair, tall and a simple grey dress, the other blonde, short and with a more intricate purple dress, "What's all the screaming about?" The blue haired one asked, "Yeah! We were sleeping when all a sudden we hear 'FREEZA!' What was it?" The blonde haired one reenacted.
Shakara sighed and said "Who woke up first? Was Shion? Or Jo'on? I'm betting on Shion.", "You know, you piss me off a lot sometimes!" Jo'on lamented, "You two decided to become part of the family." Paint reminded, "And knew the risks." Thinner added.