Chapter 7: Gotta Knock A Little Harder

Saigo woke up in cold sweat once again.

Ever since his desperation costs him his own vital organ, he has been experiencing nightmares about the incident. His hand travelled south to his crotch, clutching it as if it would happen to him again. The caiman's thoughts were a bit scrambled the more he recalled the incident.

At some point, he wasn't sure if his memory was telling the truth or he fabricated it to protect himself.

He suddenly smelled something delicious that was coming outside of the bedroom, specifically the living room. Saigo opened the door and was greeted with a waft of cooked eggs, toast and... potatoes?

"Morning, sleepyhead!" Yura greeted him cheerily. "I know you have important meetings today so I thought I'd whipped up some breakfast for the both of us. You have no idea how this recipe book is a blessing in my time of need."

Saigo noticed that Yura had her beanie cap off and he was taken aback by her long hair now that he could see her properly. Long and dark brown just like a lion's mane and her skin was pale as if she was placed inside a freezer.

"Hello, Mr Caiman I'm talking to you?"

Saigo snapped, realising that Yura waved a hand in front of his face. He gave her an assuring smile. "Sorry, was just thinking about where am I going first. The breakfast smells delicious."

He sat next to her where their food are both on the dining table. Scrambled eggs, two toasts and some flat thing that he has never seen before. Yura giggled, thinking how adorable his curiosity was.

"It's hash brown. From fresh potatoes and made by yours truly."

Saigo arched his eye ridge, not wanting to question where she had stolen those potatoes from. His mind was racing with the job interviews he has to prepare for while his stomach was in pain due to anxiety.

He felt bad that he doesn't want to eat because of his nervous state despite how delicious the food smelt. Yura then placed the plate on the table and then approach him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You'll be okay, Saigo. I know you can."

"How would you know? You barely know me and I barely know you."

Yura's sparkle in her eyes fade and then stepped back. "Okay...Sorry for giving you a pep talk because you looked like you need it for today. You're right, I don't know you."

The young woman gulped down her glass of water and ate her food at one bite. She began to wear her beanie to cover her hair and a face mask before heading out at the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Out," was her simple reply before closing the door on him. Saigo had never felt so shitty towards someone, let alone the only one who ever talked to him after all these years and he fucked it up.

'You fucking stupid piece of shit!' he cursed at himself inwardly. 'Why did I ever say those words out of my fucking mouth?!'

She just cooked breakfast for the both of them, gave him a bit of encouragement and this is how he responded to her? Saigo knew that he had to find her before the other carnivores hunt her down. A human scent would be something that drove the carnivores wild whether it's day time or not.

For now, he needs to nail his job interviews and then find Yura.

...

Rejected.

Those red words were more terrifying than that shady hospital Saigo has sold his soul to. He never wanted to gain money from there again!

It's been 5 interviews and Saigo either got a direct confirmation that he was denied the job or they left him hanging, making him figure it out for himself. He doesn't want to stay too long and go back to his apartment to have a snack.

The interviews took up most of his day and it was three in the afternoon. He wouldn't dare to switch on his laptop to search for potential work or check his emails for the places he would really like to work at.

"I'm so stupid," he chanted to himself in the messy living room. "So stupid that I never hit well in life, down on my career and most importantly lost the only one that wanted to talk to me. I wished I never existed so that these things won't happened!"

He slammed his fist onto the coffee table, splitting it in half. He doesn't care for the fact that his whole hand was losing bits of scales and drew out blood. Great, now he has another furniture to replace because of his anger.

Saigo sucked in a breath, not wanting to cry because he can't feel sorry for himself now. Most would say he's not searching hard enough or giving in his all but this is what he has left of himself. What more could the world want from him other than his body?

He has to find Yura.

...

There were times when Saigo wished he was born a Canidae in times like this.

His sense of smell wasn't as strong as his jaws and eyes in the dark. Where could a human be amongst animals? Plus, it's broad daylight where potential witnesses could spot her if she steals something.

"Yura!" he called out, threading lightly to avoid stepping on smaller animals. "Yura, where are you?"

Most animals who saw him ignored him, seeing that the caiman was definitely crazy.

The evening's heat was soon covered by dark clouds, indicating that a storm's brewing. Most would take cover or have their umbrellas ready but Saigo pushed on. For any crocodilian species, the rain is nothing to them until the lightning strikes.

Speak of the Devil, a clap of thunder just rumbled!

Now he really has to find her on a rumbling stomach. He hasn't got much money left on him and the current cash he has can help buy him a cup of coffee or a pastry. He suddenly had an idea, maybe buying a pastry and a cup of coffee might be the stepping stone into apologising to her.

He found himself buying a large buttered pretzel with a regular sized mocha coffee to-go. He hoped that things would work out as he needs to get his shit together.

When he stood outside of the coffee shop, he heard a small sneeze behind him. His eyes made it easy to see through the heavy rain and find a figure hugging its knees to its chest. He gently approached the figure and kneeled down.

"Yura?"

The figured slowly lifted its head, revealing those dark brown eyes, glassy with tears and the pale face of the human. She then looked away.

"I'm sorry...for hugging you and using your ingredients to make breakfast," she murmured, not wanting to meet his gaze. "It's just...I don't want you to go on your interviews on an empty stomach so that's why I cooked so how's your inter-"

Yura was silenced by a sudden embrace from the caiman.

"I'm glad you're okay," Saigo's voice was hitched. He slowly shed his own tears. "I should be the one to apologise. I'm sorry I've been stupid, Yura. I think the rejected job interviews were a punishment to what happened this morning..."

"But.." Yura began, hugging him tight. "Wouldn't it be better if I stayed here where I might die from a pneumonia or eaten by carnivores? Like you said, we barely know each other and I don't want you to suffer because of me."

"You never made me suffer," he gently lifts her chin up to meet his gaze. "I was so stressed this whole day today and angry at myself for snapping at you. So please if anything, I'd rather be the one who should be killed. I'm a stupid piece of shit who never progress with anything and down on my luck. Hell, even the homeless would laugh at me."

Both of them were breathing softly, trying to make sense of each other's words. Yura buried her face into his chest while Saigo laid his broad head on top of hers.

"We'll try...we'll try harder to get through with this..."

"I don't know if I can, Yura..."

"Can we...can we go somewhere dry before a lighting strikes us?"

Saigo gave her a shaky smile and clasped her hand in his. "Of course, Yura. Of course."

You'd be surprised when people could have the cold shoulder or snap over something small as making breakfast. Believe me, I know from experience

I am really disappointed by his English voice dub now that I watched Season 2 of Beastars in English dub!