Saudade

(n.) a nostalgic longing for something or someone that was loved and then lost, with the knowledge that it or they might never return; "the love that remains".

The Austrian skyline from the Alps was breathtaking; it was one of the many reasons Maria came to the mountains when she felt sad or lonely. She knew this would be the last time she would walk through the hills that bought so much peace and clarity to her chaotic life. At least, the last time for a long time. She sighed deeply as she closed her eyes. Maria wanted to remember the sound of the larks, the feel of the summer breeze on her face and the smell of the trees and flowers. She was going to miss her mountain most of all.

After a few seconds of allowing herself to indulge in their final moments in Austria, Maria had caught sight of her husband sat in the grass overlooking their beloved homeland. There was no denying the heart break in his eyes. It was one of the rare occasions he'd let his guard down in front of her and the sight caused her to rush to his side.

Maria took one of his hands and stroked it gently, before leaning up to kiss his cheek. The contact elicited a deep sigh from Georg and she realised he had a few stray tears streaming down his cheeks. She was sure these were the tears that he refused to let fall during the festival a few hours earlier. Her handsome, brave captain. Her heart felt warm that he trusted her enough to allow her to see him in such a vulnerable moment.

Her captain's façade almost slipped on stage, once he realised just what they were about to do and what it meant. They'd become so in tune with one another since their honeymoon that she could read every thought going through his head just by looking into his eyes. Everything got too much too quickly. His lyrics got caught in his throat as his body froze from the fear of the unknown and heart ache of Austria's new reality. As soon as it had happened, she found her feet moving to his side by their own accord, her hand grasping his to give him enough reassurance and confidence to keep going. He was doing the best thing for all of them and she was going to be by his side always.

Now they were on their journey through the mountains, the reality of their situation suddenly felt real. The Austrian-Swiss border was in reach; they were so nearly there. When Georg told her of his plan, she knew this would be the hardest part: saying goodbye.

Georg had insisted the children rested because they still had far to go until they were truly safe, but Maria knew it was also because he needed some time to figure out what to do next.

"I'm sorry, darling." He said finally.

Maria gave him a sad look and cupped his cheek in reply. "None of this is ideal, I'll admit. But the other option? Unthinkable. You said so yourself. You're doing the brave and honourable thing, as you always do. We're safe and free, that's because of you. So, Georg, you have nothing to apologise for."

Georg was about to protest, but instead moved enough so he could pull his wife to sit across his lap and wrap his arms around her, her forehead resting against his lips.

"You always know the right thing to say." He murmured against her forehead. "How did I get so lucky?"

She held him a little tighter. When they were courting, she'd learnt that just being able to hold her close comforted him a great deal. Especially when he was forced to think about the looming threat of a Nazi invasion. She couldn't help but smile at how sweet he was and placed a kiss on his jaw.

He sighed again. "I can't help but think about what could happen if you hadn't returned to us. How you would still be-"

"Georg. I'm right here." She reached up to stroke his cheek again, in an attempt to soothe his fears as she looked him straight in the eyes. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily, Captain." He smiled at the teasing glint in her eyes. Whilst she'd grown up a little more since the wedding, she hadn't lost her mischievous streak.

"It's just been a long day, darling. We woke up in Paris-" Georg ducked his head to tenderly kiss her throat, fully aware of her blush at the memory of their morning; she hummed in appreciation, just like she had done when he kissed her the same, shortly after they both awoke. "Then we arrived back in Austria by the afternoon-" He now stroked her arms as she clung to him. "And now, the sun is about to rise as we make our way to Switzerland."

Another few moments passed, the impact of the day truly hitting them both. Georg tried to stifle his yawn, unsuccessfully. His head rested on her shoulder.

"You need sleep."

"Perhaps," He lifted his head to rest his chin on her shoulder. "but we're so close. Right now I just want to soak it all in and remember every detail before we really do have to go." He raised her hand and brushed his lips against it. She understood, of course. She'd been doing the same not too long ago.

So they sat in their spot, in the soft grass under the tree, until the sun rose. Golden rays filling the skies as if they were an opening to the heavens. Maria had never seen a sunrise before, not even during her days as a postulant; her attempts at being on time for Vespers were rarely successful. It was just as breathtaking as she had imagined. It was yet another beautiful 'first' she got to experience with her husband.

"I'm going to miss it too, my love." She said simply, both gazing into the horizon.

"We'll come back one day. I promise you, Maria. This will not be the last time we visit this mountain."

"I know, darling." Comfortable silence enveloped them.

"Here." She reached over to pick one of the white flowers and tucked it behind his ear. Edelweiss. "You can press it in my diary and have it forever. A beautiful and pure memory of how we escaped the corruption."

The thoughtfulness of the gesture caused him to match her smile. "I love you, Maria. Truly." He reached to the same patch and picked another, tucking it behind her ear as she had done to him.

It wasn't long after when their seven children had awoken and the preparation for the final leg of their journey began.

Walking slowly behind, Georg caught Maria's hand. He stopped them for a moment and took one final look over the mountains.

"Auf wiedersehen, Austria."