Obligtory disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold or any of the related characters. I am just playing in Craig Bartlett's sandbox.

Chapter 1

Avoidance

-HELGA-

"Smell that, Football Head?"

"Huh?" My boyfriend – how is it that almost four years later, that still floors me? I've had him for nearly half the time I spent chasing after him, but it still catches me off-guard sometimes that he and me actually happened – snapped out of his usual fog at the sound of my voice. The boy's dreamy nature is adorable, but it gets awfully inconvenient when you want to have a conversation with him.

"I said, 'smell that?'"

He took a whiff. "All I smell is pine-scented air freshener."

"It's freedom, Arnoldo. Sweet, sweet freedom from our annual prison sentence. Ten glorious weeks before we get shipped back to the Big House."

The two of us were in a Ryde bound for Rhonda's place. Today was her big formal end-of-school party. Now, normally I'm not one to dress up, but this was AN EVENT and as a bosom pal of the host, I was expected to make an appearance (and if I didn't, I would never hear the end of it). And so, it had become my duty to undertake a truly daunting task for me; actually finding a decent formal dress. Luckily, I happened to have a sister who had attended a lot of formal galas in her time as Literally The Most Amazing Person Ever, and ever since my, ahem, blossoming I actually fit in her hand-me-downs now. Most of them were a bit too her for me, but I did manage to finally settle on a simple pink cocktail dress, accented by a borrowed strand of Olga's pearls and a pair of imitation-diamond studs I'd found at a thrift store. I'd even worn, shocker, makeup for the occasion… just some lip gloss, mascara and eyeliner, but for me, that was a pretty big deal. No heels, though. I have some standards.

Arnold, for his part, cut a pretty dashing figure in the one good suit he had. He still wasn't what you could really call tall, but he had definitely bulked up a bit since our PS118 days, so he didn't look quite as top-heavy as he once did. The fact that he'd started wearing his hair shorter helped too…. It was still spiky and unruly, but the shorter length made him look less like an upside-down broom with the middle bristles missing and more like the lost middle child of Goku. He'd actually combed it tonight. It looked good. Real good. Arnold-maybe-gets-to-third-base-tonight good.

"I guess," he replied, seeming to drift back away. Hmm. This wasn't the usual half-lidded Arnold dreaminess; something else seemed to be at work here. 'Are you okay?" I asked. "You seem… distant?"

"Oh… it's nothing. Just, y'know… thinking about the future…"

"Yeah, me too. The very near future. And how much of Rhonda's shrimp I'm gonna eat during it. C'mon, yutz, it's a party. I didn't make myself look presentable so you could mope all night."

"Sorry, sorry…" He smiled. "You're right. We should be having fun."

"If we ever get there," I grumbled. This guy was driving slower than the plot of a Dreiser novel. "Hey! Can we get a move on? You were already half an hour late picking us up!"

"Now now, young lady," the driver, a guy roughly between 80 and however old the universe is, warned. "We can get there fast, or we can get there alive. Which would you prefer?"

"I think he might be taking a gamble there on the second part," I whispered. Arnold chuckled a bit in spite of himself. Despite his general kindness and positivity, my barbs always somehow managed to make him laugh. "Lousy gig economy," I muttered "I should've flown us." I can do that, you know. Fly. When my wings are out. Which is not now.

"It's okay. It's not that far at this point." He squeezed my wrist, sending that tingle up my nerves that always managed to calm me down.

"Always the bright side with you, Hair Boy." I sighed. "What would I do without you?"

"Yeah," he said, and was I crazy or was there a bit of regret in that voice? "What would you do without me?"

"Helga!" squealed Rhonda, sweeping me up in a hug as we entered her huge domicile, "You look amazing!" Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was a naturally affectionate person, but she only broke out the big, rib-bruising hugs for a few people. I, unfortunately was one.

"Hey, Princess," I retorted. "Trying to make Arnold jealous?"

"Is it working?" she asked with a smirk.

"Careful," I said. "Aren't you taken?"

"Yes, she is," came a new voice. Nadine Robinson, clad in a black tux and turquoise bow tie, blonde braids pulled back in a bun, came over to claim her woman. Rhonda herself was dressed in a red (of course) backless gown and sported teardrop earrings that matched Nadine's tie. She was letter her hair grow out again these days. I couldn't put my finger on exactly who it was she reminded me of, but it was hard to argue that she didn't loo drop-dead gorgeous.

"Oh, butterfly, you know I don't actually mean anything by it!" pleaded Rhonda.

"Yeah, I know, you're a natural flirt, it's instinct to you." She sighed. "And you two have that whole mental bond thing, and we don't. and-"

"Hey! Hey!" I interrupted. "Rhonda and I haven't used that in years! Besides… I would never get between you. You guys are disgustingly adorable together."

"Really?" Nadine asked, perking.

"I throw up a little in my mouth every time I see you two kiss." I assured.

"This is the sweetest she gets, dear, let's take what we can get," Rhonda confirmed, putting an arm around Nadine. "I think I'm pretty much done with the greeting anyway, so for now, I'm all yours until somebody breaks something."

"The curse of being a host, I guess," Nadine conceded.

"Sorry we were so late," Arnold apologized.

"We got the Ryde driver from hell," I added. "Guy had one foot on the brake and the other in the grave."

"It's fine," Rhonda replied., escorting us inside. "Let's just call it fashionably late. Now, I know what you really want to hear, so… buffet's in the main hall."

"Pfft," I scoffed. "I'm not that much of a food houn- ooh, is that prime rib I smell? *sniff* Just a shade off medium-rare?"

"I think you'll be very pleased, Helga." Rhonda assured.

Now inside, I scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces. Brainy, as he usually did at these things, was DJing. Harold, naturally, was anchored to the buffet, Patty nearby trying not to look like she felt neglected. The rest of the gang was mingling, grouped by their particular social circles… Eugene and Sheena talking near the punch, with their respective dates, Scott and Curly… Sid and Stinky yucking it up off in the corner, their respective girfriends Lila and Gloria looking a bit irritated. I wondered if there was any truth to the rumor that they were planning on sneaking in some weed. Heh. That was all Sid needed. Something to make him twitchy and paranoid.

Finally, I found the exact couple I'd been looking for. "Hey, I think I see Pheebs and Geraldo," I said. Before he could reply, a new number started up. "Smashed," by Dino Spumoni.

"Hey," he said suddenly, "let's dance." He started tugging me out on the floor.

"Yeesh, Football Head, someone got all frisky all of a sudden. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I figured you'd at least wanna have a bit of bro time first while I strapped on the ol' feedbag."

"Well, hey, like they said, no time like the present, right?"

"Just try and keep up," I said.

He spun me around and dipped me dramatically in time to the music. "Funny," he said smirking, face inches from mine. "It seems like I'm the one leading."

"Why, Mistah Shawtman, aren't you just ever-so-forwahd today," I said in what was probably trying to be my best Scarlet O'Hara but was actually some strange blend of Lila, Bette Davis, Harley Quinn, and Bugs Bunny in drag. Stupid Arnold, throwing me off my game like that. I flashed back to that tango back in fourth grade. That had been steamy. Way too steamy for a couple of tweens. And then, it had all turned out to be a prank…. Or had it? That was what I'd thought at the time, and that feeling of betrayal had led me to double down on the mean for a while… but I had to wonder… had he already begun to fall for me at the time?

Regardless, that was the past. This was now, and we were in the now, letting the music guide our souls and our souls guide our movements and I was lost in him, we were lost in each other and all was perfect and the moment felt like one frozen tableau of blissful perfection.

"Well," I said, as the song tapered off, "You've definitely still got it."

"Let's keep going," he said. "I don't want this to ever stop."

"Whatever you say, Arnold," I replied dreamily, all thoughts of meeting our friends or food drifting off, washed away by the music and the rhythm, as one song blended into the next, the slow ones shifting to the up-tempo, the swing music giving way to the pop standards, none of it really mattering other than the effect it had on our bodies. There was nothing else, just music, and us.

And then t ended.

"I think Brainy must've taken a break," I said. "Our besties are probably thinking we ditched them, so maybe we should touch base and-"

"Attention, please!," Rhonda said, tapping the microphone, everyone cringing at the feedback noise. "First of all, I hope everyone's been having a great time. Second, I'd like to state that while I really don't care what you people put in your bodies on your own time, I can't have that kind of thing in my house. Again, it's not that I care, but we have a three-year-old in this house, and more importantly that three-year-old has a nanny with a nose like a bloodhound. She catches one whiff of the funny stuff and I'm getting banned from throwing another party 'til we're all in assisted living, so ixnay on the eedway. You all know who you are." She threw a pointed glance at Sid, who muttered something about narcs.

"And thirdly, this is a celebration, but it's also a goodbye to a lot of people who'll be leaving us for college this fall. First… our own Patty Smith, who I'm excited to announce has gotten into the exclusive Institute of Culinary Education in LA." The girl in question blushed in response to the applause. Rhonda continued to go down a list of all the graduating seniors and the colleges they'd been accepted to.

"Just think… that's gonna be us in a couple of years," I said, elbowing Arnold gently in the ribs. "Guess we'd better make the most of the time we have left, right?"

"Yeah… the time we have left," Arnold said, sighing.

"Oh, hey, c'mon, I didn't mean to depress you… We have two whole years! That's plenty of time! And then we can see if we can maybe get into the same college…"

"Helga…" he began, as if he was trying to say something, but he couldn't force himself to say it.

"Arnold… you've… kind of been off all evening. What's going on?"

"I… uh…"

"Spit it out, man! What's the problem?"

H continued to hem and haw, his eye wandering toward the stage between the double staircases. I followed his gaze to where Rhonda was just finishing her list, and spotted Gerald making his way up. "Scuse me," he said, "but there's one more goodbye. Someone I think we all know. A man who has touched al our lives in one way or another. In just two weeks, my man Arnold will be movin' to San Lorenzo."

"He is?" interjected Rhonda, clearly not expecting this.

That made two of us.

"Is this true?" I asked him. "You're leaving, and you didn't tell me?"

"I… was trying to find the right way…"

"You didn't seem to have a problem finding the right way to tell Gerald," I spat back, anger starting to seethe inside me like chili that had been left on the flame too long. "So he gets to know, and I don't?"

"I-I just found out this morning, all right?" he said "It was a shock to me too!"

"And yet, not so shocking that you didn't have the presence of mind to tell him!"

"That's different!" he said. "He's practically the brother I never had!"

"And what am I?" I asked. "Only your girlfriend for the last five years! I guess that doesn't rate in your book, does it?"

He glared. "You know that's not true, Helga!"

"Is it?" I demanded. "Tell, me, just when were you going to tell me about this? Who else were you going to tell before you found the time in your busy schedule to let me know?"

"No one!" he shouted back "I was going to tell you, but after the party, okay! I didn't… I didn't want to ruin it for you."

I looked around; everyone was staring at our little spat by now. "And how'd that work out, Football Head?"

"I… I'm sorry, Helga…" he said, reaching for me, but I pushed his hand away.

"Save it, Arnold. Right now… I think we should see other buffets."

I pushed past him and several other people that I couldn't be bothered to identify (though a nearby "I'm okay…" suggested one had landed on Eugene). I vaguely heard Rhonda shout "Okay, show's over, everyone! Leave them alone!" I didn't care. Everyone here was just an obstacle to me drowning my sorrows in free shrimp.

-ARNOLD-

Well, that certainly could have gone a lot better.

I knew Helga well enough by now that trying to talk to her when she was this keyed up would just make her withdraw even more, so I decided to give her some space. Besides, right now she wasn't the one I had a problem with.

I made my way over to the stage and pulled Gerald aside. "What the hell was that?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he said? I was just tryn' to give my bro the sendoff he deserves!"

"Yeah, well… your timing sucks. This is not how I wanted Helga to find out. I was going to tell her after the party. You know, when she was ready. But you had to go and ruin it."

"Mmm-hmm… so your problem is, that you had this important thing you needed to tell her, but you sat on it because you were afraid of how she'd react to it. Only, she found out anyway, and she's mad because you sat on it because you were afraid of how she'd react to it. Now… when you look at it… whose fault does that sound like it is?"

I sighed deeply. "I really screwed this up, didn't I."

"It's not the end of the world, man. You've still got two weeks to clear the air between the two of you before you leave. If I was you, I'd get started on that. Now, I'm pretty sure by now that Phoebe's found Helga and is in the middle of trying to cool her down, so I'd wait 'til she's finished and then try to talk to her."

"Thanks," I said. "Sorry I yelled at you."

"Yeah, well… I probably shouldn't have made that announcement. I kinda just got swept up in the moment and all."

"It's okay, really. Don't worry about it."

-HELGA-

"Helga?"

I looked up at Phoebe. I'd retreated to a remote guest room in the back of the mansion, hoping no one found me. I'd even shut my psychic link down completely, but Phoebe practically has a Helga radar or something, because she'd managed to find me.

"Come to drag me back to the party, Pheebs?" I asked.

"Actually, I wanted some shrimp, but you kind of… took it all," she said.

I glanced down at the tray in my lap. "Oh. I guess I kinda did, didn't I. Well, help yourself. I think there's a few still left there…"

She plopped down next to me, perfunctorily selecting one of the grilled crustaceans. "So… Arnold, huh," she prompted. Of course, I'd known she'd been lying when she said she was just here for the shrimp. This was hardly the first time she'd had to treat my emotional wounds, and she knew the procedure. Pretend that she was there for something else, then just bring up the problem in the most casual way she could.

"Yeah… Arnold." I echoed noncommittally.

"So… San Lorenzo, hmmm…"

"Yup. San Lorenzo."

"And in just two weeks, too…"

"That's what that boyfriend of yours said, yeah."

"So… what're you going to do?"

"Well, Pheebs," I said, "I figured I'd hide In this room until he was gone."

"Really," she said incredulously, "You're going to spend an entire fortnight secluding yourself away in Rhonda's guest room."

"Well, obviously, I'd come out to eat and use the bathroom, but essentially, yeah, that's the current plan."

"Mmmhmm. I don't buy it."

"Really? Pheeb, you're talking to the queen of avoidance. If there's a way I can not deal with a problem, I'm going to take it."

"Uh-uh. Nope. I don't see it. This isn't about you avoiding dealing with problems. This is about embarrassment."

"Yeah, right. Sure. I made this whole big scene in front of everyone and now I'm sooo scared to face Arnold after it."

"Filtering out the sarcasm from your remark, essentially, yes."

"…I hate that you know me so well, you know that?"

"Noted. You know he'll probably be here to try and talk to you any minute, right?"

"Sure, right, how is he gonna find me? No one ever uses this room."

"There is the fact that you left a trail of shrimp shells all the way here."

There was a knock at the door. "Uh… Helga? Are you in here?"

"Ugh… damn my sloppy eating habits." I sighed. "Come in, hair boy."

"I believe that would be my cue to leave," Phoebe said. "Good luck," she told Arnold as she exited.

"I really was going to tell you right after the party," he began. "I just… wanted to have one last night where neither of us had to worry about the future."

"Yeah, I get that," I admitted. "I guess maybe, if I was in the same position, I would have done the same thing." I slid the tray off my lap. "Guess this is just another case of Psycho Girlfriend flying off the handle again."

"Hey, c'mon," he said. "You're not psycho. You're… passionate. It's what I love about you. And… I guess it scares me a little. But that's what makes it exciting."

"You make it really hard to stay mad at you, Football Head," I said, starting to smile again in spite of myself. "That, and eating an entire pound and a half of shrimp." I burped. "I am gonna pay for this in the morning.

"There is no way you ate a pound and a-" he glanced at the tray, "…okay, maybe you did."

"Why San Lorenzo?" I asked. "Why now?"

"Helpers for Humanity contracted them to help set up a new, more modern hospital down there," he explained, sitting down next to me. "And, well… they've said they're happy living here, but I think the wanderlust is taking hold again. And when you've traveled the world…"

"…Hillwood seems so small, yeah, I get that. But do you have to go with them?"

"This isn't easy for me," he said. "Part of me just wants to stay here with you. But there's also the part of me that spent ten years as an orphan."

"Yeah, yeah…. You're right, Arnold. Nobody should ever have to go through that again. I can't make you stay here with me. I can't do that to you, and I can't do that to your parents either. They've been so good to me, so much better than my own parents sometimes…"

"This isn't forever, you know. My folks figure it'll take about a year to get everything fully running, so, I'll be back for senior year. And in the meantime, we've got e-mail, Skype… there's no reason we can't stay in touch."

"A year is a long time, Arnold, and long-distance relationships are hard. Who knows what'll happen in that time? Maybe you'll be happier there than here… maybe you'll meet some girl who isn't a total high-maintenance emotional train wreck."

"That won't happen."

"Oh, sure it won't. I was there, Arnold. I saw how those Green-Eye girls were looking at you. You're like Jesus to them. Who wouldn't want to date Jesus?"

"Like I don't get enough of that here. Everyone's always going on about how I'm some kind of living incarnation of Buddha, but, let's face it… you've helped more people these past few years than I have." He chuckled. "If anything, I'm the one who should be worried you'll get too much attention."

I laughed. "Oh yeah, everyone's gonna wanna get with this dumpster fire."

He shook his head. "I really wish you weren't so down on yourself all the time. I wish you could see yourself the way I say you."

I sighed. "Whatever. We've had this whole conversation before and it never goes anywhere. I really don't wanna waste the time we have left reliving it."

"Well, that makes two of us." He held out his hand. "Wanna go back to the party?"

"Actually, I kinda don't feel like partying right now. But if you'd like, you can sit here with me while I gaze sadly at the remnants of this tray and regret my life choices." The first of my stomachs groaned to illustrate my point."

"Whatever you say, Helga," he said, putting an arm around me.

Two weeks. Two weeks and I was going to have to say goodbye for who knows exactly how long. Despite my best efforts, that was all I could think about now.

He'd assured me that this wasn't the end, but… out of sight, out of mind, as they say. Would we really be able to hang on to what we had with thousands of miles between us?

A.N.: Well, when I said this was going to be like The Patakis with super-powers, I wasn't just taking about everyone being in high school. More then anything, The Patakis is about taking Arnold out of the picture, and seeing how Helga develops as a person without him. That's not to say we've seen the last of him, but for the most part he won't be seen a lot in this series. And while Helga fully intends to stay faithful to him, fate has a way of throwing curve balls, so don't be surprised if romantic complications turn up for her… in addition to the kind of complications a superhero deals with.

Jose: Nope, as you can see in this chapter, Inga is working for the Lloyds and has been for some time.

Wonko: Thanks, I'm looking forward to writing it!

Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention: Rhonda and Nadine's outfits are inspired by lettersandnumbers123's drawing "Rhonda and Nadine at prom" which you can find on their DA page. Sorry I didn't credit them when I first posted this page.

Next: "And Just Like That…"