I don't own One-Punch Man
(All of this Belongs to the one and only: ONE & Yusuke Murata)
Chapter 1: Some Stress Relief
Sparked Interests
[A Quick A/N: ~(Yeah people, this ain't a joke, I'm trying my hand at a proper harem fanfic. One full of the sauce, but with an actual plot to boot. Also, I turned a couple of guys into chicks. Before you ask me, yeah, I did it to make them into strong tomboys. What can say, I'm a sucker for them, and this story needed more of them. I'm also drawing canon from both the Web-Comic and the Manga, so don't attack me. Anyway, hope you enjoy people!)~]
Somewhere in a desert located by City M…
Out in the middle of a desert during midday, two figures could be seen in the distance. Between the both of them, they seemed to be having a conversation with one another. Both figures exuded a certain aura around themselves, one having a bright green flare to it, energy radiating wildly into the air. Like stray sparks that flew off from a welder's gun. The other's aura was a complete contrast to the other. It felt calm and collected, while also feeling strong and secure. Much like a firm grip on a gentle hand, or a secure knot that held precious cargo, this figure's aura felt cozy. While both figures were conversing, excessive shouting could be heard for miles, most of it coming off from the figure with the green aura.
"Ready to get what's coming to you, Baldy?!" A spunky voice shouted with fire behind it. It's face holding an incredibly cocky expression as it spoke.
"Look, I dunno why you're so eager for this sort of thing. In fact, is this all really necessary? To me, it just sounds like you're trying to blow off some steam. You know they're healthier options for this kinda stuff." A plain voice spoke out from several meters away, a simple face accompanying it.
"How about you shut up for once, Baldy?! Did you really think I'd let you off that easy from the last time we've crossed each other? Consider this as me finally settling the score with you! All those times you've called me a brat, and that time you had the nerve to interject yourself into a family matter. But worst of all, the things you did to me when we were alone together..." The spunky voice said in haughty tone. This then made the other figure raise an eyebrow.
"Oi, watch how you phrase that. You're making me sound like some kinda predator." The other figure said with his arms crossed. The other figure merely scoffed at his response.
"Hmph, all I can say is that you better prepare yourself, because I'm going to do things to you that makes dying look easy!" The spunky voice shouted. It's tone was full of anger and sass, ringing out defiantly through the air, before hitting the other voice with great force.
"OK." Was all the voice said as a response, immediately pissing off the other voice.
"Oh I'm gonna enjoy dragging you across miles of dirt and sand, freaking Baldy!" The voice spoke back, hellbent on making good on its promise.
Somewhere several hundreds of miles away…
Out from a far distance away, a group of individuals huddled underneath a large campsite area. It was composed of a series of large tents strewn together that contained a collection of large monitors, living amenities, full air conditioning, and a fully serviced bathroom. How they outfitted a functioning bathroom in the middle of a desert however, remains a mystery. The monitors in question also held the image of the two figures in a plethora of different angles. An untold amount of unmanned drones were deployed to live stream the battle in real time, ensuring that sufficient evidence would be collected. These measures were placed in order for the battle to be watched to its fullest, and with no ambiguity about it. While most of the individuals were watching in anticipation, some simply had to voice their opinions towards the group.
"You sure he ain't gonna die? Cause I can tell you right now that dying ain't small stuff. I mean I've seen what Saitama can do, but I've also seen what Tornado can do. If you ask me, it looks pretty stacked against the guy." A woman with light grey skin spoke with a gruff voice, taking a long drag on her cigarette afterwards.
"Do not worry Zombiewoman, for I am more than confident that Sensei will put Tornado in her place. He is Sensei after all." A young man with a strong voice said, small puffs of smoke coming off from his arms. It was then the sound of mechanical clicking could be heard in the air.
"Be that as it may, I still have my doubts about him. To me, he's still way out of his league to mess around with Tornado." A young boy's voice called out, typing away on his computer as the fight was about to start.
"You just haven't seen him in action yet, Child Emperor. He'll humble Tornado in no time at all." A man with a strong voice spoke up, a steady beating being audible as he spoke.
"I wholeheartedly agree with both King and Genos. I've seen young Saitama for what he truly is, and what he's really capable of. I have no doubts that he will indeed humble Ms. Tornado at the end of this sparring session." A elderly man's voice spoke up next, wisdom seeming to spill out of his mouth as he talked.
"Hot damn, if both Bang and King are saying all that, then he's gotta be something, right?" A young man's voice yelled over the group of people, a fire lit within him as he heard the others vouch for Baldy.
"Hmph, if only you knew Bad. Saitama has yet to reach his full potential. Under my guidance, he'll be one of the strongest heroes in the world, one that'll even overtake Blast's position, thanks to me of course." A man with an elegant voice spoke out next, his eyes trained on Saitama as time progressed.
"Hmph, even Mr. Quick Feet over here is singing his praises. If Flash is so adamant about Baldy's worth, then I also wanna take a few swings at him." A middle-aged man with a gruff voice spoke out next, the light whistling voicing his genuine interest.
"Now now, let's not get too carried away here Atomic Samurai. Let's just watch Saitama have a go at it with Tornado. After that, we can go from there. But I'll be honest, I kinda wanna throw some punches his way too after hearing everyone's opinions." A man with a soft spoken voice was heard, getting nods from the others as a response.
"You're right about that Darkshine, just seeing him stand there makes me wanna throw a solid punch at him. That man clearly has this air of mystique about him. Weirdly enough, I feel a certain strength residing in him. Despite his outwardly plain appearance, he looks like he can throw down." A man with a strong voice rang out, the bulging of his muscles moving in rhythm to his response.
"I'm happy someone here also sees that sentiment Tanktop Master. Behind that plain face lies a power that goes beyond comprehension, I'll do what I can to see what makes it so." A robotic voice said in a curious tone, his eye watching Saitama's figure intently on the monitor.
"Hmph, be that as it may, mere strength cannot hope to match against those who have raw intellect, Drive Knight. On this, you must agree with me." An older man said, his arms crossed as he made his way to get a bottle of cold water from the campsite fridge.
"Oh c'mon Bofoi, you can't be that cynical against this guy? Maybe he's smarter than he looks?" Child Emperor said, trying to defend Saitama's character. As an only response, Bofoi merely shrugged his shoulders, and went about drinking his water.
"Well, regardless if he's an actual egghead or he's a bucket of bricks, all that matters if he's strong. And that doesn't change the fact that I wanna take a few swings at him still." Atomic Samurai said with a grin, his sword itching to be used.
"Mhmm, I'd also like to take a few swings at Baldy as well, but we gotta let the walking twister have her turn fir- Wait a minute, you said you were gonna train Baldy, Flash?" Bad asked openly in the air, getting an immediate nod from Flash as a result. This however made Bang chuckle jokingly towards the man, voicing his thoughts.
"Ho ho, quite a cheeky thing to say Flash, trying to take Saitama under your wing. This is of course assuming he'd even want you for a teacher." Bang said with some playful inflection.
"So what? You'd think that Saitama would have an interest in your outdated material arts? Which by the way is a bit on the slower side. I can at least keep up with Saitama's speed, unlike you old man." Flash said matter-o-factory, getting a grunt from Bang. Just as Bang was going to respond, Genos spoke up first.
"It's amusing to hear you say that Flash, considering Sensei is several planes above you. To think you would entertain the idea of teaching Sensei is making me laugh." Genos said with a little chuckle, making Flash irk at his actions. Flash was about to defend himself when Drive Knight spoke up.
"You keep saying that this guy is your Sensei, Genos. If that's the case, he's gotta be really strong, right?" Drive Knight spoke, making Genos nodded adamantly.
"Yes, Sensei is the strongest man I know by far." Genos said with pride, making Atomic Samurai raise an eyebrow.
"Really? Even stronger than me, King, Darkshine, Bang, Tornado, or even Blast?" Atomic Samurai asked, watching as Genos easily said yes to his question. Atomic Samurai merely whistled with anticipation, knowing full well that Genos doesn't go out overselling other people in the time that he knew him.
"Sheesh kid, you're making me wanna fight him even more now, you understand that right?" Atomic Samurai said playfully, the itching in his sword growing more and more unbearable. Genos only nodded his head once more, assuring that his Sensei was the real deal. Child Emperor at this time coughed into his fist, getting the attention of everyone.
"If we're done with the bickering, can we watch the fight in peace now?" Child Emperor pleaded to his colleagues, to which most of them nodded, while the few others merely grunted.
"Yeah yeah, we'll calm down. Also, has anyone heard from Pig God and Watchdog Woman yet? I know Puri-Puri Prisoner is busy rehabilitating a new batch of prisoners today, but I don't really know what's happening with those two." Atomic Samurai asked Child Emperor, who simply hummed at his question.
"Both of them told me they're gonna be running late. With Pig God, he said he's competing in three different eating contests simultaneously, while Watchdog Woman is currently fighting off a hoard of cat monsters. Apparently they're heavily vandalizing the dog parks in her city." Child Emperor said while rubbing his forehead with slight irritation. The nerve of the both of them causally brushing off a chance to witness a new S-Rank hero.
"Makes sense to me. Can't ask a pig to stop eating, or a dog to stop chasing a cat." King said matter-of-factly, making most of the others nod their heads in agreement.
"What'd you expect from a bunch of dudes that act like their name suggests?" Zombiewoman said with a small grin, making the others smile with her. Coughing in his hand once more, Child Emperor got ahold of everyone's attention.
"Well in the meantime, let's just watch these two fight without all of the color commentary, agreed?" Child Emperor asked with a soft voice, a collective grunt being heard from everyone, making him grunt in acknowledgement as well.
With all opinions said and words exchanged, all of them then watched the proceeding fight, eager to see if Saitama truly was the man many have vouched for.
Back to Saitama and Tatsumaki…
A few minutes of restless silence passed between the two of them. Tatsumaki's mind rife with endless thoughts on how to trounce Baldy, while Saitama's was full of concern if he was still eligible to get the [2-for-1] deal for a ramen cup bundle. Thing was, he got a special coupon from a kind old lady he saved not too long ago. Unfortunately, the coupon was a few months old, not to mention only usable for a specific store. This made Saitama doubly worried if he can still cash it in. Tatsumaki caught a glimpse of Saitama's face, making her smile smugly, wondering if Baldy was finally realizing how in over his head he was.
"What's with that look Baldy? Is it finally hitting you that you're about to go against the second strongest hero in the world?!" Tatsumaki yelled towards Baldy with indignation, not able to hold back the sassy smugness within her voice. She was then answered by Saitama lifting his head up and looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Huh? Oh, sorry about that. I was just thinking about whether I can still cash in this coupon for ramen cups. Got it from an old lady awhile back, and I'm worried that we're gonna take too long with this stress relief session. So as it is, I'm gonna have to make this a quickie today. Y'know how it is, gotta have to show that old lady's kindness with respect and all." Saitama said easily, looking at Tatsumaki with a simple smile, leaving the esper speechless.
Was he for real? He had to be joking right? There's no way that Baldy was thinking about a stupid coupon, and not about feeling the pressure of fighting her, right? There's no way that Baldy isn't scared shitless, and is just making up that stuff about coupons and old ladies, right?! Because if that were the case, Tatsumaki would've just been wasting her time floating there like an idiot. All the while, some bald guy was thinking about some stupid shit that had no relation to the matter at hand, that matter being beaten into a fleshy pulp by her.
And yet, Tatsumaki had a gut feeling that Baldy was telling the truth, that he really was just worried about some stupid coupon. This train of thought made Tatsumaki unbelievably annoyed, so much so that a large green aura immediately wrapped around her figure, signifying her intent to Saitama. With gritted teeth and fiery determination, she was going to make sure to put Baldy in his place for good this time.
"Really? You're going to make this a quickie, huh? Well listen here Baldy, because I'm only gonna say this once. I'm going to make sure to bury you here in the desert for a whole day to ensure that you miss that stupid coupon thing you're talking about. Maybe then you'll learn to take these things more seriously!" Tatsumaki yelled defiantly towards Saitama, to which the man in question looked over at Tatsumaki with a furrowed brow.
"Why the hell would you do that? That's an extremely petty thing to do, Tatsumaki. You need to take it down a notch man." Saitama reasoned out with an annoyed tone, obviously pissed that the brat was going so far to annoy him.
Unknown to the two of them, a chorus of laughter could be heard from a campsite far away. Leave it to Saitama to make you laugh at any time, no matter where he was.
"Blame yourself then, idiot! That's what you get for being so freaking bald and stupid!" Tatsumaki yelled smugly, sticking a tongue out towards Saitama. He immediately irked at the woman's obvious attempt at provoking him, knowing full well she wanted him to make the first move.
But Tatsumaki didn't stop there, as she then began to shout more insults about his hair deficiency and how dumb he was. How he must've been really lucky to pass high school, and that he probably had a bad case of erectile dysfunction. Much to the amusement of most of the people back at the campsite, Saitama was losing more and more of his patience, until finally he snapped. Something to do with shining his head wasn't going to bring his hair back, or how wigs weren't even going to help him at this point. Saitama had had enough, and decided to make the first move, his patience drained away.
"This is why I don't like bratty kids… Whatever, I just gotta end this quickly. Then I can worry about the ramen cups." Saitama muttered under his breath, sighing loudly to the wind.
With one more deep breath, Saitama then closed his eyes, channeling his frustrations into his right fist, while imagining launching Tatsumaki across the desert with a punch. Finally done with the mental imaging, Saitama then opened his eyes, a serious face now present on him. This in turn surprised Tatsumaki since she had only seen Baldy look relaxed or bored. But seeing him now, with his fists at the ready, made Tatsumaki smile inwardly to herself.
"Took you long to finally get serious, freaking Baldy…" Tatsumaki thought to herself, her aura flaring up to match Baldy's resolve. Saitama however wasn't going to have any of it, as he spoke clearly towards Tatsumaki.
"I'm letting you know right now that I ain't gonna stop even if you say sorry. Kids who misbehave need some discipline, otherwise they're just gonna keep repeating the same behavior over and over." Saitama spoke sternly towards Tatsumaki, who shuddered slightly from how manly he sounded. Saitama then prepared himself, readying himself to attack.
Though it happened rarely, Tatsumaki could be seen letting out a light blush as she had to compose herself. No one ever talked to her like that, not even once. But it was always Baldy that treated her like this. He was the only man she knew, apart from Blast, that had the balls to talk back to her. Even now, just hearing Baldy talking to her now, only made her more fired up. Almost everyone that Tatsumaki met in her life had either used her, feared her, revered her, or doubted her. But now there was Baldy, who seemed to not give any fucks, and decided to challenge her.
Although she had some idea on how strong Baldy was, there was still a large gap between them, right? Baldy had a lot of nerve and balls to address her in that matter, to keep calling her a kid. But with this fight, Tatsumaki hoped she could finally make Baldy understand just how far apart they are from each other. Though that thought made Tatsumaki feel annoyed for some reason. As for why, she had no clue.
With that final thought cleared, and a small huff, Tatsumaki then floated high up into the air, thinking up a plan to bury Baldy in this desert. It was his fault anyway for not taking this fight seriously at the start.
But her thoughts were soon disrupted, as she instinctively erected a barrier around herself, her body moving on its own. What followed next was her hurtling along the desert air at high speeds, as a trail of air followed her.
Clenching his right fist tightly, Saitama sighed deeply, his face now relaxing as he vented all of his frustrations of the day into a satisfying punch. A punch that launched the poor esper for what seemed like miles. What happened was that Saitama jumped at incredibly fast speeds, throwing out a destructive punch that broke through Tatsumaki's barrier in an instant, resulting in said woman sailing through the sky from the sheer force alone.
Whistling to himself as he watched Tatsumaki sail through the sky, Saitama was about to head back home before he felt the ground underneath him rumbling. Intuition kicking in, Saitama jumped a far ways back, the ground he jumped from turning into a mile wide crack in the earth. It looked endless, a harsh shade of dark shadows masking it's true depth. A bead of sweat came from Saitama as he remembered that Tatsumaki was trying to bury him in the desert for a whole day, making him click his tongue in annoyance.
"Are you seriously trying to bury me right now? You're an incredibly petty person, you know that brat?" Saitama spoke out with an annoyed tone, smug chuckling being heard from a few feet behind him.
"I said that, didn't I? I'm going to make sure you miss that coupon thing Baldy! So if you think you're going to get rid of me that easily, then you got another thing coming for you!" Tatsumaki spoke haughtily, her smugness even more present in her voice. Levitating off the ground slightly, she then started making kiddy faces at Saitama, making the man even more pissed. Saitama's frustrations returned tenfold, his annoyance reaching new levels as this woman's pettiness seemed to have no bounds.
Although surprised by Baldy's strength, Tatsumaki merely scoffed while she was sailing through the air earlier. Easily teleporting herself behind Saitama, she then moved both of her hands in front of her, and made a tearing motion towards the ground. What came next was the ground beneath Saitama splitting wide open immediately, going on for a mile's worth of distance. Though the result was expected, Tatsumaki was still kind of impressed in the back of her mind that Saitama dodged that lightning fast attack with mere intuition, meaning he really wasn't all talk.
"Maybe I can step it up a notch for Baldy? I mean, the last time we fought, he left me exhausted for days... It seems like he isn't going to die anytime soon, so what the hell?" Tatsumaki playfully reasoned out in her mind, though immediately blushed as a result. She wasn't the type of person to think in such a way, but for some reason, when it came to Baldy, he seemed to spark an interest in her like no one else had prior. And the fact that she had reasoned that out in her mind made Tatsumaki blush even harder, shaking her head to clear her mind.
"Get it together Tatsumaki, we're fighting right now! What would happen if Baldy were to see me no-" Was all Tatsumaki could think of before she heard Baldy's voice call out to her, just a foot away from where she floated. In her stupor, Saitama simply walked up to her, watching as she saw Tatsumaki break into a light sweat.
"Hey, you ok there? You're red all over, and you're sweating kinda hard. Do you need a break or something?" Saitama spoke calmly, a look of concern on him, his voice both firm and gentle. That concerned look made Tatsumaki both pissed and happy at the same time.
How dare he ask her if she was ok, of course she was ok! She's the second strongest hero in the world, when was she never ok?! But on the other end, why was he showing such gentle kindness towards her? She was nothing but a bratty bitch towards him, so what's the deal? And why did it feel so alien to her, dare say, even a little nice? It's not like she hadn't heard something like that before. Hell, her sister keeps asking her that from time to time. But this time, it felt different, as if he actually meant what he said, and that there wasn't anything more to it. What did that mean, was there anything deeper to it? Was it really just that, and nothing more?
Questions like that and more were now beginning to bubble up in Tatsumaki's mind, throwing off her concentration. Little by little, her power fluctuated, flickering visibly, signifying that she was losing her focus. Cursing her mental fortitude, Tatsumaki forcibly silenced her mind, muting her idle thoughts for later use. With a shake of her head, she finally looked up towards Saitama with a haughty look, instantly making Saitama regret asking if she was ok.
"If you have the time to ask me if I'm ok, then you clearly have all the time in the world, right? Meaning, you really don't have a coupon thing to get to? Great, now I'm going to make sure you're buried here for at least a week, so you're guaranteed to miss it!" Tatsumkai spoke in her haughtiness tone yet, smiling condescendingly as she saw Saitama's eyes go downcasted in that moment. A moment of silence passed the two heroes, before a low rumbling found its way into Tatsumaki, slightly shaking her core as Saitama began to speak, much to her subconscious pleasure.
"I've been very patient with you... Hell, I think I've been too patient with you, but it looks like you're fine. Seeing as you're not only ready, but also hell bent on ruining the rest of my day, I'll make sure to put you to bed before things get any more ridiculous." Saitama spoke firmly, raising his face towards Tatsumaki, eyes flaring up with annoyance.
To think a man who had such a simple face could now demonstrate such sharp features made Tatsumaki shiver. Such strong, passionate eyes, and a chin that could chisel mountains. Even his face looked like it came off from a comic book. Saitama had forcibly seared his presence into Tatsumaki's mind, ensuring that she would never forget him. What followed next made Tatsumaki swoon for him just a little more, as Saitama's manliness radiated out from his person.
"When a kid acts like a brat, it's up to the adult to straighten out that behavior." Saitama spoke firmly, throwing two destructive punches at her in an instant, watching as a thick barrier erected itself, absorbing his punches with minimal effort.
Small, dark red explosions resulted in Tatsumaki taking the hits. To those who were watching, it looked as if she took those punches like they were nothing. However, Tatsumaki struggled lightly against the weight of each hit, feeling the hard impact rock her body with much satisfaction.
"Such heavy blows… What does this guy eat?" Tatsumaki thought to herself as she instinctively made three more protective barriers around herself, an insurance for her should his punches find their mark. She then flew high into the air, hoping to make some distance between them.
"Freaking guy punches as hard as meteors, let's see if he can take one point blank." Tatsumaki thought to herself, as a small ball of energy appeared before her, rapidly growing in size.
Saitama during that time jumped high into the air, and threw three more punches, shattering Tatsumaki's barriers with ease. The esper clicked her tongue in annoyance, as she ripped off a car-sized chunk of ground, and slammed it into Saitama. The man was then sent back to the ground, a deadpan expression on his face as his body was planted into the ground again. This made Tatsumaki chuckle to herself, seeing as how Baldy was buried slightly into the ground again.
At a campsite far away, roars of laughter could be heard once more, as Saitama was slowly becoming the comedic relief for them. The man couldn't catch a break after all, as he found himself in a comical setting. Looking like a cartoon character, some of the individuals at the campsite started taking pictures, so that a certain baldy would see them when they catch up with him later on.
"Again with the rock throwing. Like c'mon man, do you have anything else to show me, Shorty?" Saitama said as he watched Tatsumaki forming a ball of energy in front of her. Tatsumaki merely scoffed, watching from above as Saitama was freeing himself from the ground.
To buy herself some more time to prepare her attack, she then moved her hands towards Saitama's position, grabbing a hold of the ground he was still slightly planted in. Knowing in the past that her psychic abilities don't have much effect on him directly, the next best thing was to affect the area that he was around. She then flung the piece of ground roughly towards the sky with a little more effort than usual, effectively launching Saitama like a rocket ship on a voyage to space.
With the piece of ground moving way faster than the speed of sound, Saitama had found himself a one way ticket to the moon once more. Now clicking his tongue in annoyance, Saitama simply punched the ground with a hand he freed, causing all of it to explode instantly, while canceling out all the momentum it held. Now free from the space ride, Saitama found himself several hundred miles in the air, free falling back to the world. During that time, he was trying to figure out where Tatsumaki was.
Said esper during this time was almost done with her preparations. The ball of energy she made was now the size of a ship carrier, with massive sparks of green energy radiating off it like electric currents. She then forcefully compacted that ball of energy, which was several magnitudes of the stuff, into a tiny ball of green light that was no bigger than a stress ball. Grabbing the ball of energy tightly in her right fist, she then searched for Saitama, before seeing his tacky yellow suit falling from the sky. Smirking to herself as she watched his shiny bald head glinting wildly against the sun, She then warped over directly on top of Saitama, ready to unleash the ball of energy directly into his back as he was falling.
"Powered Coalescence: Cosmic Shotgun!" Tatsumaki shouted passionately, throwing her right fist at Saitama's back, making contact and consuming him with a flash green brilliance.
An enormous amount of stored, psychic energy was then released all at once, blasting forth onto Saitama as he was then launched directly straight into the ground from the sky instantly. Mercilessly, Saitama was slammed into the desert floor below. Beautiful, neon green beams of electrified energy could be seen coming off from Tatsumaki's fist, the result of her energy battering down on Saitama, even after he was already on the ground. The sheer force of her attack had buried Saitama more than four miles into the earth, the weight of her energy being as heavy as his own punches. A massive, green mushroom cloud then erupted from where Saitama was buried, plumes of dark green smoke spilling everywhere within a five mile radius.
Loud whistling and small, celebratory claps could be heard from a campsite far away, the group watching thoroughly entertained. While some were wondering if Saitama was ok, most were only waiting for him to get up.
Waiting for a few minutes for everything to subside, Tatsumaki watched in boredom as green smoke dissipated into the air. Feeling good after that punch, Tatsumaki then floated back down to the ground, seeing as a huge hole the size of a small building was now present where Saitama had landed, and subsequently been buried at. A sense of satisfaction and smugness washed over Tatsumaki as she eyed the hole, her frustrations from the bald idiot now alleviated. She then put her hands on the side of her hips, and turned her head upwards, prideful sass and spunk starting to fill up within her. Looking down in the hole, Tatsumaki then yelled triumphantly toward me where Saitama might be, if anything was left.
"Hmph, that oughta teach you how to address me now, freaking Baldy! If you're alive after all that, you better treat me like your superior, otherwise you'll get trounced again! You hear me Baldy?!" Tatsumaki yelled loudly, only being met with silence.
Now feeling a little embarrassed that she was yelling at a hole, she then corrected herself, dusting off her dress. Weirdly enough, Tatsumaki felt a little disappointed after all that. She had thought that she had found a person who can give her a challenge, make her sweat, maybe be a friend and more, but for him to be reduced like this, made her scoff. All that talking just for him to get buried like this, what a freaking weakling. To think he could talk to her like that and not have the guts to back it up. This line of thinking had progressively made Tatsumaki more and more worked up, feeling stupid she was getting excited for a Baldy. But just as she was about to fly away in a huff, a rumbling could be heard and felt from the hole.
This made Tatsumaki freeze where she stood, wondering if Baldy could really take an attack like that. Finding herself waiting with baited breath and a secret anticipation, she hoped that Baldy still had some fight in him. But then again, she also wondered if a person like him could take an attack of that magnitude. Waiting patiently, she then thought back to the attack she used on him.
For anyone or anything else, they would've been vaporized into nothing, the heat alone from the attack was akin to that of the middle layer of the sun itself. In fact, the energy output registered on the attack rivaled that of several nuclear warheads being set off at once, all expanded onto one being. But as if it were on cue, a certain bald head came up from the hole, the glint that came off from it shining defiantly against the world, and especially against Tatsumaki. Unknowingly smiling inwardly to herself, she braced herself for whatever Baldy had in store, more than happy to see that the fight was still on.
With a few more moments passing, Saitama calmly walked out of the hole, his caped burnt off almost entirely, and parts of his suit burnt to a crisp. Dusting himself off the dirt and sand, Saitama then looked over to where Tatsumaki stood, his annoyance resurfacing once more.
"Oi, you buried me pretty deep in the ground just now. You pull any more pranks like that, and I'll be forced to give you a good spanking after this." Saitama warned, his eyes looking stern as he spoke. Tatsumaki was speechless as she watched Saitama with wide eyes, her inner self flipping with joy as she took in what Saitama said.
"Huh, guess Baldy's made out of sterner stuff than I thought. Good, because I ain't done with him yet, not by a long shot. Let's see if you can keep up with me, freaking Baldy!" Yelled to herself passionately, as a smile wormed its way onto her face, ready to face Saitama once more.
Saitama watched as Tatsumaki grinned softly, instantly pissing him off more than he was before. He understood that this was merely stress relief for the walking hurricane, but he had obligations to fulfil today, and for her just to brush it off like it was nothing was really getting under his skin. This feeling was akin to when him and King were playing a fighting game, and he would pick the cheesiest character in the whole roster. Just remembering that got him heated, and he was damn sure to end this little session as soon as possible.
"You got a hit in, now it's my turn brat." Saitama spoke, his tone still annoyed to high hell.
In response to Tatsumaki's attack and antics, Saitama then cocked back his right arm, this time putting a little more effort into this punch. The aura around Saitama changed at that moment, the surrounding area feeling hotter, way hotter, in response to Saitama feeling so worked up. It got so hot, the surrounding area started to give off steam. Tatsumaki picked up on the change of temperature, eyeing Saitama with curiosity as she could see large smoke trails come off from the ground surrounding him.
"Pissed Off Moves: Pissed Off Series…" Saitama said quietly, crouching low to the ground as he cocked back his right fist. And a moment later, the bald man pounced on Tatsumaki, fist raised.
"Pissed Off Punch!" Saitama yelled annoyedly into the air, hurtling his fist directly into Tatsumaki. With her instincts kicking in again, Tatsumaki made a hasty motion with hands, a flurry of green energy erupting a few inches in front of her.
A multi-mile barrier then erected itself, spanning almost half the length of the desert they fought on. And yet it wasn't enough, as Saitama's fist went and shattered it effortlessly. An eruption of red and green smoke exploded everywhere. To some, the scene looked like a massive rave, but to others, it looked like a nuke was just detonated. Massive plumes of greenish red mist choked the surrounding area, a result of such a large barrier being destroyed in one punch. Seeing the destructive power of Saitama's punch caused the esper to grunt loudly. In the meantime, Tatsumaki warped herself several meters out of the way, not keen on eating a punch of that magnitude.
Over by the Campsite…
Watching in baited breath, all the heroes were watching in full glory of how strong Saitama was, seeing as he ate a point blank mega nuke like it was nothing, and then proceeded to blow up a barrier that went on for miles in a single hit. Funny enough, all the heroes had found themselves starting to take bets, most of them being for Saitama, while the latter put it on Tatsumaki. A heated debate then sparked between everyone, as each hero had one thing or another to add to the conversation.
"I'm putting 10,000 yen on Saitama, damn guy can take a beating. Guys' like him will always outlast the other guy that's being overly aggressive." Zombiewoman said easily, throwing down a 10,000 yen bill on a table.
Coincidentally, King had taken the luxury of pulling a folding table out, along with a little notepad. He also put on a dark red visor hat and bright orange vest, acting as the bookie for this legendary fight. Seeing him wear such attire made everyone chuckle, as he was usually not seen wearing such a goofy outfit.
For Zombiewoman, watching Saitama fight was validating for her, making said zombie smirk as the fight went on. People always sleep on the guys that take things slow, but the moment they're ready, they come out swinging, strong and hard, much like her. She was feeling especially excited when she saw Saitama getting buried into the ground, only for him to rise back up as if nothing happened. Knowing all too well about coming out of the ground during an intense fight, Zombiewoman was eager to see Saitama win this battle. Better yet, she was starting to stare a bit longer than usual at his face for some reason, feeling a certain interest grow in her as time went on. This and more caused the gruff woman to blush inwardly, perplexed to all hell why she was feeling this way now of all times. Yet, while she was lost in her own thoughts, a certain man with a bat started yelling.
"Yeah, I'm willing to take that bet! Put me down for 10,000 as well for the old chrome dome! He's gonna make Tornado cry out for her mommy after this!" Bad said happily, more than willing to bet on the guy that can eat an attack that strong without flinching.
But the thing that sold Bad on Saitama was his manly fighting spirit. Any man worth his salt will always have a strong fighting spirit, and with Saitama, he felt that spirit through the freaking monitor. Now if you're fighting spirit could be felt from hundreds of miles away on a tv, you're damn straight he's gonna bet on that guy. Bad was about to keep talking before Genos butted in.
"It's obvious that I'll put my vote on Sensei. He will win with no injuries, and he'll do it within the next five minutes." Genos said expectantly, ejecting rolls of coins from his arms that equaled out of 10,000 yen. Child Emperor and Drive Knight looked at Genos with a raised eyebrow as he did this.
"Coins? Why not use bills?" Child Emperor spoke, curious as to what the cyborg's answer might be.
"It's to facilitate more precise payments of currency whenever I'm with, or shopping for Sensei. He doesn't like to carry around short change, so I've made it my duty to ensure that we pay the exact price every time we go shopping." Genos said proudly, neatly stacking 200 rolls of 500 yen coins on King's betting table.
The others looked at Genos briefly, thinking it was both sweet and crazy he did that. But ultimately, this was Genos that they were taking into consideration, so they chalked it up to being normal for a guy like him. As for Darkshine, he merely shook his head at the betting table.
"Uh uh, betting ain't for me. Fights and the muscles that involve them should be left alone. But if you're asking me who'll win this, I'm thinking Saitama overall. That man looks like he could punch coals into diamonds if he felt like it." Darkshine spoke while nodding his head, his muscles aching from wanting to spar with Saitama also.
"I'm with Darkshine on this, we really shouldn't be placing bets on fellow colleagues. But if you ask me, my horse is on Tornado. Damn girl redirected an entire mile long volley of car-sized, artillery shells back at an alien ship, with just a flick of a finger. As much as Saitama can hold up, I don't think he can take much more if Tornado gets serious." Tanktop Master spoke honestly, resting an arm on Darkshine, who nodded his head.
"Hmph, seems I wasn't the only one that thinks with reason here. Funny that that other person was a meathead. Anyways, I also believe Tornado will come out victorious here. Saitama may have durability, but I doubt he has the combat knowledge that Tornado possesses. Also, here is my 10,000. I can agree on one thing with Saitama however, carrying around short change is extremely inconvenient." Bofoi spoke soundly, neatly stacking his own rolls of 500 yen, which he pulled out from his inner coat pocket.
"You seriously walk around with rolls of yen in your pockets, Bofoi?" Bad asked incredulously, looking absolutely deadpan at the old man.
"Of course I do. I hate the hassle of carrying around short change that I'll never get the chance to use." Bofoi explained, walking back toward the fridge to get another water bottle.
"Ok, now that we know Bofoi has thousands of coins worth of yen just sitting on him, I'll say that my money's on Saitama. Not that many people I know who can take on a point blank nuke and walk it off like nothing happened." Atomic Samurai said easily, pulling out a 10,000 bill and throwing it gently in the air. The bill calmly danced in the wind, before neatly landing itself upon King's table.
"I suppose if Kamikaze is partaking, then I am obligated to follow suit. I believe young Saitama will win soundly." Bang said easily, carefully pulling out a 10,000 bill from his old paper wallet, and throwing sharply at King's table. The bill was thrown so expertly, that the bill wedged itself into the table, making King sweat a little.
"Hmph, fools like you only bandwagon. I for one will put my favor on the underdog. I will laugh at everyone who will lose in this little wager." Flash said confidently, placing his own 10,000 bill on King's table.
"So does that mean you're on Tornado's side?" Zombiewoman asked with a raised brow, watching as Flash looked on in horror towards everyone.
"What?! No! I'm betting on Saitama!" Flash said hastily, not releasing that King had already marked him down as a Tornado bet. Realizing what he had done, Flash's face was downcasted, lamenting in his impatience. He then fell face onto the ground, comically complaining towards the situation.
"Sorry Flash, the underdog for this current wager is Tornado. Should've been clearer with your choice the first time." King said calmly, watching in satisfaction at Flash's blunder unfold.
"Huh, that was funny to see. As for me, I don't really care who wins. I'm just interested in how strong Saitama is. From what a special eye witness reports, Saitama can apparently survive the vacuum of space, put a dent in the moon, blow up a moon with just one hand, obliterate a planet with a sneeze, and much more nonsense on a list that borders on satire. While some of the points listed come off as completely fictitious by nature, I can't help but find some of them strangely plausible. As for the reports by said eye witness, their credibility is still very much in the wind. However, that doesn't dissipate the air of curiosity that Saitama exudes naturally." Drive Knight said logically, looking at the large monitors intently.
"Wait, you said this so-called eye witness saw Saitama sneeze away a planet? Um, yeah, total bullshit. Also him blowing up a moon? And with just one hand? Dunno about that guy, Drive. Seems like he or she's fucking with you. I get it chrome dome's a badass already, but blowing a moon? Yeah right, and I'm Boss Agoni." Bad said incredulously, scratching his head questioningly.
"Again, some of the points I spoke sound fictitious by nature. Still, you could be right. I might be caught in some elaborate prank. No matter, the fact still stands that Saitama has shown he's strong, at least stronger than most of the A-Class heroes we have employed here." Drive Knight said, making everyone grunt in agreement.
"Alright, so I take it you're not putting a wager, Drive?" King asked, ignoring the light groaning coming off from a depressed Flash.
"Yeah, I don't like making bets overall. I always end up betting on the wrong guy." Drive Knight reasoned out, getting nods from his fellow colleagues.
"Fair enough. I get the whole idea with always betting on the wrong horse. Anyway, how about you Child Emperor, you want in on this?" King asked, still ignoring the complaining that was coming off from Flash.
"Nah, I only want to watch this fight. I really don't have any idea who might come out on top, and honestly, isn't this more exciting this way?" Child Emperor said with a smile. Although he didn't say it, he had a feeling that Saitama would beat Tornado.
"Ok, good to hear. Now that we've covered everyone here. I'll be tallying up the potential winnings here among the participants." King said sternly, picking up the notepad from his table, and marking down the numbers.
"Alright guys, the odds are 2 to 5, with Tornado in the minority. As the bookie of this whole thing, I won't be making a bet, but I'll be taking 20-'ish percent of the pot. Now with my cut taken out of the main prize, the winnings made here will be about 55,000 yen, distributed evenly among the winning sides." King said seriously, putting his notepad aside.
Everyone at that moment looked at each other, before focusing their attention on the monitors. With stakes now placed on this little spar, everyone looked expectantly at the two heroes being displayed. King could only shake his head at the scene before him.
"Only Saitama-bro can get everyone riled up like this. So hurry up and win bro! There's money to be made here man!" King thought to himself, smiling strongly as he watched the mointers himself.
Back to Saitama and Tatsumaki…
Looking at Saitama with mild surprise as she warped away, Tatsumaki internally fistbumped when her barrier broke with such ease. It seemed that Baldy wasn't just durable, but he was packing some serious power behind his punches. Considering the barrier she erected at the time could deflect a number of nuclear impacts at once, it meant that Baldy's punches were on par with nuclear warheads. Slightly more impressed, Tatsumaki could only smile harder inwardly. But at the same time, she wasn't just going to let him get away with that.
Saitama looked even more annoyed, as he felt his fist breaking something akin to stained glass, but not the brat behind it. Huffing loudly to himself, he then tried looking for her, spinning around and looking for her in the open desert. A moment later, massive bolts of green lightning struck Saitama, even though there weren't any clouds in the sky.
"Phenomena: Heat Lightning." Tatsumaki spoke casually, her hands extended towards Saitama as he was getting blasted with bolts of superheated green lightning. Each bolt hotter than the core of the sun. With the constant rate of her attack, Saitama was inadvertently pushed as a result, getting dragged across the desert floor at blinding speeds.
Getting shoved hard from the weight of her lightning, Saitama was pushed all the way back into the side of a mountain-sized rocky mound. Yelling in utter frustration, Saitama then punched the mound multiple times, using the dust that came off it as cover. Huge plumes of dust and small pebbles pelted the air, obscuring the area's vision effectively.
Scoffing at his antics, Tatsumaki stopped her attack, considering he had now left her field of view. Rising to the air, the esper then erected seven strong barriers around her, each one able to take on several nuclear strikes each. Having felt his punches, Tatsumaki would be damned if she wasn't going to anticipate a strong punch from any side. At the same time, she started imagining a small cyclone in her mind, and out in front of her, a small tornado started to take form on the ground. In mere seconds, the tornado grew enormous in size, it's winds raging from the power being poured into it.
During that time, Saitama raced around Tatsumaki, positioning himself behind her a few yards away. Now away from Tatsumaki's vision, Saitama began to charge up an attack of his own. Looking up from where he stood, an enormous tornado roared towards him. Tatsumaki had already felt his raging aura, telling her where his position was. She then aimed her attack towards Saitama. And after a few more moments of powering up the tornado, the esper launched it. The tornado ripped its way towards Saitama, tearing up the ground viciously as it made its destructive advance.
"Phenomena: Terrible Tornado!" Tatsumaki said with a smug smile, feeling like Baldy deserved a taste of her signature move. Saitama could only grunt annoyedly, getting tired of all these flashy moves.
The tornado in question was the size of three skyscrapers stacked on top of each out, and roared its power at Saitama, hellbent on shredding him to meaty strips. But none of that was meant to be, as Saitama let off an attack of his own.
"Pissed Off Moves: Pissed Off Series…" Saitama spoke calmly, the tornado merely a few inches away from him. He then moved his body accordingly, the very air around him trembling at his power.
"Pissed Off Clap!" Saitama spoke loudly, clapping his hands with incredible force. This one move had easily destroyed the sound barrier that surrounded him, along with any free standing stone formations, and nearby desert mounds.
The force of his clap was so great, a wave of incomparable air pressure ripped across the land, crashing head first into Tatsumaki's tornado. As soon as the powerful air wave made contact with the tornado, it dissipated instantly, yet the air wave kept moving. How air can have a physical form was baffling, but it dared not question Saitama's will. Soon, it crashed into Tatsumaki, whipping the esper across the desert like newly loaded pinball. Shocked as to what had happened, Tatsumaki attempted to realign herself, all being a fruitless endeavor. Although she had made seven barriers beforehand, none of that seemed to matter. It's just that Saitama's clap was so strong, he had managed to blow away an esper who could control her position in free space.
Saitama wasn't done yet though, as he then ran besides the air wave that Tatusmaki was caught in. The esper the whole time was still flying through the air unwillingly, frustrated that the Baldy's attack was still going on. A whole minute passed with Tatsumaki helplessly caught in an unstoppable air wave. But just as the wave diminished, she caught sight of Saitama. Said man running after Tatsumaki during all that time, jogging right beside the air wave. He then jumped, putting himself right on top of Tatsumaki, startling the esper as he seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Pissed Off Moves: Pissed Off Series…" Saitama began, before yelling once more.
"Pissed Off Spike!" Saitama roared, clasping his hands together, and then slamming them downwards, sending the esper to the ground instantly.
The force of the spike was stupid strong, as it resulted in an explosion of red and green that spanned for miles, blocking the sunlight in that area for a brief moment. Saitama had done the impossible once more, as he turned day into night for a couple minutes in a localized area. As for Tatsumaki, she had the pleasure of being buried herself into the earth, at least five miles in considering how hard Saitama spiked her in.
Having made seven barriers prior, it seemed that Saitama had broken through six of them, with her last one barely hanging on, the countless cracks on it a tell tell sign of his power. Seeing that her surroundings were pitch black and crumbly, she surmised that Saitama had gone and gave her the same treatment she did to him a few minutes prior. Seeing as how Baldy could be just as petty as her, Tatsumaki had had enough, and made it her goal to end it all with the next attack. That Baldy had the nerve to put her in the ground, well how about if she just threw the entire ground at him?
Saitama felt good after that attack, wiping the few drops of sweat that had formed on his forehead. Though it annoyed him, he was admittedly getting a nice workout out of all this, so it wasn't too bad. Now if only the little esper could be a little more cordial, Saitama might've actually enjoyed his time out here, but that would be asking too much from the living hurricane. Looking at the impact sight where he planted Tatsumaki, Saitama stood there awkwardly as he realized he might've put in a little too much power in that smash. Sighing to himself, Saitama was about to walk away, before he felt the ground beneath him rumble slightly.
Nodding his head softly, Saitama then proceeded to close his eyes, and mentally prepare himself for the sea of insults that was sure to come his way. However, Saitama didn't realize that he was actually five miles in the air already, with over hundreds of miles worth of earth beneath him, carrying him. The mass of earth specifically was over 300 hundred miles long, a hundred miles wide, and over a hundred miles deep. A subtle green hue could be seen surrounding the absolutely massive chunk of earth, Tatsumaki dead set on teaching Baldy his place.
Back at the Campsite…
Everyone at the tent watched in awe as Tatsumaki upheaved an island's worth of earth from the ground, and causally lifted it into the air at terminal velocity. The hole left in the ground was immense, unearthing a plethora of dinosaur bones, human remains, and even the remnants of a few ancient villages. But the worst part was the untold number of lizards and insects raining down in that area, surely the stuff of nightmares to many people, Child Emperor being one of them. Paling at the sight, King had to catch Child Emperor as he fell off his chair comically from the fear and stress.
The amount of earth was so massive, the cut off point for the chunk almost came in range of their campsite, just short from a couple feet away. Tatsumaki's power was no joke, especially since the drones were now having to dodge raining boulders and wildlife to simply watch the spar continue. Most people at the tent were sweating bullets, wondering how the hell Saitama was going to survive this, but those that knew him, weren't worried in the slightest.
"Yeah, he's dead. I mean I'm pretty tough, but I don't think I can take on a city's worth of rubble being crushed on top of me." Bad commented easily, everyone nodding in agreement.
"Technically I can live through that, but it'll take me at least a week to dig myself out." Zombiewoman said easily, pulling a carton of cigarettes from between her ample breasts. She then took one out, and lit it up, taking a long drag on it.
"The amount of force needed to lift that mass of earth alone… I shudder at the power Tornado holds." Bofoi commented, surrounded by crumpled up water bottles.
"On that, I can agree with you." Drive Knight agreed, his eye never leaving the monitor.
"Hmph, I can outrun that attack in my sleep." Flash said nonchalantly, unimpressed with Tornado's display of power.
"And for me, I can fly away from that attack." Genos reasoned out, handing King a warm, damp towel.
"I'd find a way out of it. (Lol no, I'd die of a heart attack before that thing hit me.)" King said/thought out loud/to everyone/himself, placing the warm towel on a passed out Child Emperor, who was currently laying down on a makeshift futon.
"Nope, I'd be dead no matter what. No amount of tank tops would allow me to live through that." Tanktop Master said easily, cleaning up Bofoi's mess of water bottles. It irked him deeply that such an old man doesn't clean up after himself.
"For me, I think I can take it. I would have to curl up into a ball however." Darkshine said with a hearty smile, remembering an old technique from a fighter of old, now long gone.
"As for me, I'd cut up that thing until it was dust. Might take me a full three minutes to get it done, but it'd be done eventually. Not trying to sound too arrogant, but I could definitely manage against that." Atomic Samurai said with a smirk, damn near ready for some action himself.
"It's been some time since I've punched a mountain, so I suppose it would be a 50/50 chance for me to live through something similar. Now if my back were in its prime, I could easily take on three of those attacks." Bang mused, stroking his mustache, his muscles aching for some action themselves.
"Yeah sure, anyway, now that we're seeing this, anyone wanna make last minute changes? Except for you, Flash." King said to the room, with a Flash about to yell at King. A resounding no reverberated throughout the campsite, save an annoyed Flash, and with that, everyone watched the monitors once more.
Back to Saitama and Tatsumaki…
Saitama was still waiting for Tatsumaki to show up, but then felt a bit colder as time went on. Opening his eyes, Saitama had found himself in the air, the rushing wind slashing and blowing harshly against his face. He then pieced together that he was on a chunk of ground again, conveniently being levitated by green energy. Looking up, Saitama's eyes widened slightly as he spotted a massive landmass floating in the sky, held up by a hue of vibrant green energy. Coincidentally, it was hovering lazily right in front of him. While his eyes were closed, Tatsumaki had seemingly plucked him from the landmass via picking up the ground he stood on. She then placed him right in front of the landmass just one mile away.
In his surprise, he failed to notice a sneaking esper charging up her fist right behind him. Just as he figured out where Tatsumaki was, it was too late, as the esper unleashed another punch of potent psychic energy at his back. He then rocketed towards the landmass, getting planted firmly at its side within seconds. Tatsumaki then floated leisurely towards Saitama, a smug look on her face.
"Looks like I win, Baldy. There's nothing you can do now." Tatsumaki spoke in a haughty tone, internally squealing to herself in glee as she caught Saitama's angry face up close.
"What makes you say that, brat?" Saitama said easily, watching in satisfaction as his comment pissed off the esper immediately.
"Isn't it obvious to you yet, egghead?! What else can you do here?! You're pretty much trapped in a floating island that I'm suspending over 80,000 feet in the air. You so much as insult me, and I'll fling you and this stupid rock to the ground like a meteor. But judging how bald you are already, I'd say you'd be considered a meteor if I fling you hard enough." Tatsumaki taunted, watching as tic marks were forming on Saitama.
"Oh yeah? Then tell me shorty. What makes you think you've trapped me?" Saitama asked in a low tone. Tatsumaki was shocked by the balls on Saitama, seeing as he continued to insult her.
"W-What?! You're literally stuck on the side of a island, floating in the sky, pointed directly at the ground! You can't do anything here!" Tatsumaki screamed, watching Saitama in disbelief.
"That's what you think, brat." Saitama said easily, smiling wider as he watched the esper begin to malfunction in front of him.
"Y-You! Can't you see you're about to die if you keep talking like that?!" Tatsumaki said hysterically, wondering how Baldy was still in the position to insult her like he did.
"And you keep triggering loser flags dude. Stop talking like a B-Rated villain already." Saitama said with a bored expression, making Tatsumaki fume.
"What are you even saying, Baldy?! Do you think this is a game or something?" Tatsumaki said in a shrill voice, her grip on the floating island lessening.
"Um, no? Also, you do realize that if you drop something this big from this height, you'd be catching at least 3 cities in the blast radius, right? So going off of that, I'm fairly certain you're bluffing." Saitama reasoned out, looking smug as watched Tatsumaki pale at his words.
"How stupid are you?! Of course I'd contain the blast within just the desert! You're just talking out of your ass!" Tatsumaki was on the breaking point, ready to just drop Saitama and be done with it.
"Then do it, midget." Saitama said in a mocking tone, copying the intonation of Tatsumaki's voice. A visible vein of anger sprouted on her face, as she then positioned the landmass to face downwards, with Saitama now facing the earth below.
"You wanna experience what hell is, be my guest. Go and die, stupid Baldy!" Tatsumaki shouted angrily, harshly bringing down her hands, the landmass followed suit, being thrown towards the ground, much like a ball being whipped extremely hard.
Judging by the speed of the wind hitting his face, Saitama figured it was only a few minutes before they would hit the ground. Sighing to himself, Saitama then freed himself from the landmass, and stood up where he was. With a deep breath, Saitama then squatted down and closed his eyes.
"Serious Moves: Serious Series…" Saitama began, before jumping up from where he stood, his legs ready.
"Serious Drop Kick!" Saitama proclaimed, drop kicking the landmass with incalculable force. And again, the sound barrier was destroyed instantly, as if kneeling down to the man's limitless power.
[A/N ~(I dunno how you call jumping and stomping your feet on the ground a drop kick... But shit man, whatever, Saitama built different or something…)~]
Saitama managed to drop kick an island, only adding to his countless list of feats. With how hard he hit the landmass, there were no notable debris showers that would rain down onto the cities. Fortunately for Tatsumaki, she wouldn't be punished for any unnecessary collateral damage. Although almost 2/3 of the landmass was obliterated upon impact, what was left had careened passed Tatsumaki. Said esper watched in disbelief as the landmass that she had created, or rather what was left of it, blazed through the sky at blistering speeds. Funnily enough, the landmass made its way to space in less time than it took for it to reach the ground the first time Tatsumaki threw it. Once space bound, it rocketed easily out of earth's orbit, never to be seen again.
In the meantime, Saitama could be found buried head first in the ground below, the result of drop kicking the landmass so hard. Luckily, the drones were able to catch this funny sight, causing an uproar of laughter to be had in the campsite far away again. Pulling himself out of the ground, Saitama looked towards the sky, happy to see Tatsumaki just floating there idly.
"Nice, time to end this little stress relief session with a well deserved lesson." Saitama reasoned out, crouching once more, then jumping high into the air, appearing right behind Tatsumaki seconds later.
Tatsumaki, still in a daze, let out a small yelp of surprise when she felt two strong arms hug her. The arms then brought her close into Saitama's body, Tatsumaki's mind failing to comprehend what was happening. As it was, Saitama ended up hugging her again. With the first time being an already profound feeling for Tatsumaki, having to experience it once again was so much for her poor mind, that she couldn't wrap her head around it. Instantly, a wave of addictive warmth and security flooded her as Saitama gently hugged her, almost making the esper high on emotion alone. But that moment would pass, as a second later, they arrived back on the ground, with Saitama standing there with a heavily blushing Tatsumaki. Much to her content, she was still being hugged by the bald man. But before Tatsumaki could say anything, Saitama then went down on one knee, and then placed Tatsumaki on it. The drones caught all of this, as everyone at the campsite waited with anticipation.
"Parental Moves: Parental Series…" Was all Saitama said, making Tatsumaki realize what he was about to do. Just as she was about to say something, Saitama spoke.
"Parental Spanking!" Saitama sternly said out loud, spanking the butt of Tatsumaki firmly and soundly. Yelping in pain, the poor woman was subjected to five hearty slaps to the ass, as Saitama brought down righteous fury onto her.
Back at the Campsite…
Everyone in the tent was shocked beyond belief as they witnessed Saitama light up the esper's ass with thick, meaty slaps. Though deserved from all the bullshit she had caused, all the heroes felt a little pity for Tatsumaki. For being on the receiving end for Saitama's hands seemed like a death sentence. All of the heroes also winced at the sound that Saitama's hand was making on the esper's ass. All but one, as Zombiewoman sat there blushing up a storm as she witnessed the whole ordeal. Just seeing Saitama dole out some much needed punishment on the esper made Zombiewoman feel weird, the good kind of weird. To see such manliness, Zombiewoman couldn't help being drawn to it. Too many guys she knew were severely chicken shit, but seeing a guy like Saitama was incredibly refreshing. Hell, the man had no qualms spanking a dude when it was warranted, even if they were the second strongest hero on the roster. There were only two words that could describe Saitama at that moment for Zombiewoman.
~ STRONG & HOT ~
"Damn, Saitama's kinda hot, huh? Not to mention strong as shit… I wonder if he's single." Zombiewoman thought to herself, her blush growing slightly as she caught another glimpse of Saitama being serious.
"Dude's gotta be single, right?!" Zombiewoman pleaded to whatever hears these little prayers, making a mental note to try and hit up Saitama on a later date.
Back to Saitama and Tatsumaki…
After delivering the final slap, Saitama then placed Tatsumaki on the ground, watching as the esper immediately crumpled comically onto the ground. A small stream of comical tears came off Tatsumaki as she laid on the ground, gently rubbing her burning ass. The pain was immense, along with how red her ass looked if one were to see it. Funny enough, Tatsumaki had lost the ability to both stand up, and levitate due to pain alone. Watching Tatsumaki whine cutely on the ground, Saitama then stood back up, looking at Tatsumaki sternly.
"There, that should suffice for a suitable punishment. Think next time about how you act towards people." Saitama spoke firmly, Tatsumaki immediately facing him, though she was on the ground still, her ass still hurting.
"Stupid Baldy, you actually spanked me! This is sexual harassment, dumbass!" Tatsumaki spoke in a shrill voice, trying to get up from the ground, only to fall back down. Saitama's slaps were so effective, Tatsumaki could only whine cutely, both her legs and powers being suppressed for the time being.
"Nope, this is much needed punishment. I told you what happens when bad kids act up. So suck it up, woman." Saitama said easily, watching in content as Tatsumaki kept on rubbing her burning ass.
Filled with absolute mirth, Tatsumaki's mind boiled with anger. She was about to insult Saitama, but in that moment, the sun positioned itself behind Saitama, giving him that true hero look. Watching in sheer awe and disbelief, Tatsumaki finally gave up. She conceded, not able to withstand Baldy's vast stupidity, and seemingly unending endurance and stamina. Cursing her own weakness, Tatsumaki was about to cry bitterly, feeling thoroughly humiliated. But just as bitter tears were about to be shed, she felt a hand on her head. Looking up hesitantly, she was floored when she saw a now relaxed Saitama smiling gently at her.
"Nice fight though, just don't be such a brat next time." Saitama said easily, a very rare moment where his old face came back.
A face that only came out after feeling great satisfaction, Saitama flashed Tatsumaki a genuine smile, destroying her psyche. It had been a long time since Saitama had felt this vindicated, and he couldn't help but feel both relaxed and happy. Like finally getting the itch from an awkward spot scratched, or taking the perfect shit, Saitama felt truly satisfied in that moment. Good workouts are hard to come by for him, but when they happen, damn do they feel good. Saitama didn't take in the fact that he was effectively destroying a poor woman's mind however, considering he was just smiling and patting a woman's head.
"Wha-" Was all Tatsumaki could utter, before going quiet again. She was completely enraptured by Saitama's true face, looking both heroic and handsome at the same time.
"What? Don't you wanna keep doing this? I don't mind helping you out with some stress relief every now and then. I get it, hero work gets stressful. I mean, this lets me work out my stress too, and I had fun doing it." Saitama said with another genuine smile, patting Tatsumaki's head gently again.
The woman was still quiet, her mind focused solely on his gentle touch. In an instant, a wellspring of emotions burst forth within Tatsumaki, overwhelmed by Saitama's words and actions. You mean he didn't mind spending time with her? That it's ok to keep asking him to do this? That he would also like to keep meeting up? Her silenced mind blared loudly again, as light and fluffy thoughts plagued her for a second time, making her blush up a storm once more. Those damn thoughts of Baldy made her feel both stupid and happy, but she couldn't show him that, at least not yet. Her pride wouldn't let her, she'd be damned if she were to let anyone know her blatant, abject approval of him.
He got lucky, yeah that's it. He just got lucky this time. Next time, it'll be different. Next time, she'll launch him straight to the moon, and she'll be waiting for him to beg her to bring him back. A tiny, smug chuckle escaped her lips, just imagining Baldy on his hands and knees begging her for something. But something in that line of thinking made her blush slightly again.
"There's going to be a next time with Baldy…" Tatsumaki thought to herself, a smile forming on her face.
Looking up at Saitama, Tatsumaki was filled with both annoyance, and weirdly enough, acceptance. That stupid Baldy had somehow wormed his way into her heart, and she had, unknown to anyone else but her, accepted him to be an equal of sorts. Just acknowledging that thought was pissing her off however. She peered at Saitama again, his genuine smile still there, making butterflies form in her stomach.
Feeling anxious for a moment, Tatsumaki tried moving her legs again, and luckily enough she could. Letting one more moment of peaceful silence pass, Tatsumaki then stood back up, turning her head up. This made Saitama look at Tatsumaki questioningly.
"Hmph, you just got lucky, Baldy." Tatsumaki said with a haughty tone, crossing her arms as she faced him.
"Sounds like you're back to normal. Good, just don't be such a brat the next time we do this ok?" Saitama said jokingly, laughing handsomely. This made Tatsumaki falter slightly, seeing how handsome he was looking.
"Hmph! Such confidence to ask me something like that… Whatever." Tatsumaki said softly, lacking the resolve and sass to see Saitama straight in the eyes. She was scared he would see her approval of him, and she wasn't ready to let him know yet.
Saitama merely grunted, looking at Tatsumaki with a tilted head. The esper's visage faltered once more, cursing Saitama's stupid cuteness. Who knew being bald would make him that cute in her eyes?
"Grr, but did you really have to slap me this hard?" Tatsumaki said again, rubbing her sore ass slowly. Saitama really did spank the shit out of her.
"Yep, don't be a brat again, or else I'll spank you again." Saitama said easily, smiling as he caught Tatsumaki pouting cutely in front of him. Tatsumaki blushed hard once more, entertaining the idea of a strong Saitama spanking her again.
"W-Whatever Baldy! Don't think this changes anything between us!" Tatsumaki yelled, her voice hitching however as she glanced at Saitama.
"Yeah yeah sure. Anyway, since we're done here, imma head out. Thanks for the workout, Tatsumaki. So, same time next week?" Saitama asked easily, waving a free hand to her as he stood up. Fumbling over what he just said, Tatsumaki pouted cutely once more.
"How're you going to ask me that as you're leaving?! Freaking Baldy, if you don't even have my number, how will know where we'll meet up, stupid?! Here, gimme your phone already!" Tatsumaki yelled, making Saitama stare at her comically.
With an outstretched hand, she levitated his phone from his special place. Next, she forcibly added her number to his contact list. Satisfied with her work, she then shoved his phone back in his special place roughly. Tatsumaki then stanced up, crossing her arms as she floated back in the air.
"Y'know, I could've just typed in your info myself." Saitama said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"Stupid, you have a thing to go to with a coupon, or something foolish like that right? Get out of her and get to it already." Tatsumaki reasoned out, already mad at Saitama for his stupidity.
"Oh yeah, you're right. Anyway, I'll call you when I get to the store, so you'll get my number too. 'Kay, see ya." Saitama said with a dopey smile, his face reverted back to the usual one. And in a moment, a massive trail of sand and dust raced across the desert, towards city M, Saitama disappearing from view from the drones.
Floating there alone, Tatsumaki stared for a few more moments where Saitama stood previously, before she flew over towards where everyone else was. She was making good time, reaching halfway to the campsite before she felt her phone ring. Smiling inwardly to herself, she picked up the phone, already full of insults for the bald wonder.
Back at the Campsite…
Silence was the first thing that took place after everything that had happened. Most of the heroes were trying to come to terms as to what had happened. Some were trying to accept that there was another guy that was stronger than Tornado, while others were wondering how a guy like Saitama is only now just being discovered. Whatever the reason, silence was the reigning mood for most of the heroes.
That was the case until a giddy, but straight-faced cyborg pulled out a comically large confetti cannon, seemingly out of thin air. The cannon was labeled
"Overwhelming Strength"
and it was as big as Darkshine. Everyone looked at him with a deadpan look, while Genos only lit up the cannon with the straightest face he could muster. A moment later, an explosion of brightly colored paper and sound filled the campsite, as Genos then pulled out a tray of light snacks and drinks, celebrating his Sensei's assured victory over the psychic menace.
Everyone blinked twice, before a torrent of chatter erupted throughout the campsite, all of which had to do with Saitama and Tatsumaki.
"Holy shit guys, chrome dome freaking kicked an island into space! He's so freaking manly!" Bad yelled passionately, his mouth stuffed with Genos's pigs in a blanket.
"But of course. I had full faith in young Saitama. These little snacks are remarkable by the way Genos." Bang said with a hearty smile, fully enjoying Genos's stuffed potato skins. Genos just nodded his head, happy that people were enjoying his food.
"Incredible, simply incredible. How a regular human man can achieve what he did goes beyond logic and reasoning…" Bofoi said with wide eyes, still trying to register what he had witnessed. He also partook in the snacks, chewing on some cut up pretzel pieces.
"I wasn't expecting much from Saitama, but like Bad, holy shit." Drive Knight spoke honestly, also trying to process the information. While tempting, Drive Knight declined the food for modesty's sake.
"I don't even think I can throw a rock into space, much less an entire island's worth of mass. This guy really is stronger than me, huh. Well I'll be damned, way to go to Saitama!" Darkshine cheered, heartily laughing as he ate Genos's peanut butter celery sticks.
"Yeah, you're telling me. The heaviest thing I've thrown was a car, and it went as far as another city. So for that guy to kick that thing out to space is crazy. You'd have to see to believe it." Tanktop Master said with a wide grin, appreciating the show of strength. He also ate the celery sticks with great vigor.
"I've seen it, and I'm still having a hard time believing it." Child Emperor said while laying down on the makeshift futon, with King handing him some pigs in a blanket.
"Eh, I've seen crazier when it involves that guy." King said nonchalantly, snagging himself some food as well.
"These really are good Genos, thanks bro." King said while waving a free hand to Genos, who merely nodded in response.
"That man is just full of surprises. Now I need to fight him. I doubt that guy can take a full swing from me." Atomic Samurai spoke excitedly, taking a swig from a cup of sake.
"Now could you imagine if that power was honed and trained by me? He'd be the strongest hero to ever exist, even stronger than Blast!" Flash said logically, nibbling Genos's fried cheese sticks.
"I disagree Flash. He'd fare much better if he could work on his form, rather than swinging a sword. I'll be the one to teach young Saitama." Bang said with a raised eyebrow, still hellbent on retaining Saitama as a student.
"Now hold on Bang, what's wrong with swinging swords, huh? I swing mine pretty good, and I've made it work so far. And hell, if a guy like Saitama can swing a sword half as good as me, he'd be the strongest swordsman there was. Maybe I should teach that guy a thing or two." Atomic Samurai said curiously.
Saitama had strength beyond imagination. So putting two and two together, Kamikaze realized that if he could teach Saitama a thing or two about swinging swords, he would literally become the strongest swordsman there ever was. Not only that, Kamikaze would also be known as the world's greatest teacher of swordsmanship. Smiling to himself at the prospect, Kamikaze failed to see the frowns on both Flash and Bang.
"Oi, hands off Saitama, drunkard. Last thing he needs to know is how to sloppily swing a sword." Flash said with frustration on his face. Where the hell did Atomic Samurai get the idea of teaching his student, of all things.
"Excuse me? You trying to say something, huh Flash? Almost sounds like you're saying you're better than me at swordsmanship." Atomic Samurai said lowly, eyeing Flash with competitive eyes.
"In every sense of what being a swordsman is, and I'm not even a formal swordsman." Flash said with a smug grin, watching Atomic Samurai move his hand on his katana. Before sparks could fly, Bang then spoke up.
"Calm down you two. It must be said anyway, young Saitama would fare much better with proper form, not swordsmanship. Honing the weapons he already wields is far more productive, rather than teaching him a whole new craft. Of course, I shall be the one teaching him." Bang said matter-of-factly, facing both Flash and Atomic Samurai, both now eyeing him.
"Stay out of this Gramps/Old Man!" Atomic Samurai and Flash said at once. Bang blinked comically, before a vein of irritation popped on his head.
"Now where do you two come off in calling me old, hmm?!" Bang said in an irritated tone, now cracking his neck in anticipation.
As the three heroes were arguing in the background, the rest of the group sighed, all too used to their bickering. The campsite was full of sound and life, along with people eating food. Everyone was enjoying the light atmosphere, all except one. A woman with light grey skin was currently lost in her thoughts. Try as she might, she couldn't believe what she saw.
Witnessing a man, a handsome one at that, kick an island into space was crazy enough. But surprisingly, that wasn't what made her mind turn into putty. Zombiewoman is always surrounded by outstanding individuals that do crazy shit everyday, her included. So seeing a guy blast an island to space, although very impressive, wasn't too out of the box. No, it was Saitama sternly spanking a woman that made Zombiewoman's mind buzz with thoughts. She wasn't joking when she said that a lot of guys she knew were too chicken shit to do anything, but seeing such a manly Saitama spank a co-worker in front of others was such a turn on, Zombiewoman's inner woman had awaken.
Thoughts of taking the esper's place ravaged her mind, wondering just how strong Saitama is. Her body was built strong and tough, and she treated it like a temple. But should a bomb, being Saitama, were to go off in her temple, would it still stand proudly, or crumble satisfyingly under his strong touch? Shaking her head at how perverse she was sounding, Zombiewoman needed some cold water, her mind and body burning to the touch. As if on cue, Genos handed Zombiewoman a bottle of water from the fridge, a look of concern on his face.
"Are you ok Zombiewoman? From what my scans say, your internal body temperature is rising at an alarming rate, which I find most curious. You are considered deceased, and yet you're getting exponentially warmer. Should I tell the others about your predicament?" Genos asked naively, watching as Zombiewoman's face turned dark red.
"NO! Am I feeling quite fine Genos! Thanks for the water dude! Now leave me alone!" Zombiewoman said exasperatedly, her mind still alight with images of Saitama and his strong hands.
"Of course, if you say you're ok, then there's no problem." Genos said easily, walking back towards the others.
Cursing the cyborg as he walked away, Zombiewoman had to calm herself down. She didn't even know Saitama like that, so it'd be weird as hell to be thirsting over a stranger essentially. Always known for her down-to-earth reasoning, and level headedness, Zombiewoman did eventually calm down. Though her inner woman had awakened for the first time, she was still a woman who operated on common sense. So first things first, we gotta get closer to Saitama.
She didn't like the idea of seeing such a strong man as nothing more than a good, one night stand. So the next best thing to do was to respect him as a person. And to do that, she would try to get to know him better before the thirsting can begin. Nodding cutely to herself, Zombiewoman found herself a new goal, that being Get closer to Saitama so he can rock your world endlessly. Committed to her new goal, a loud whooshing sound could be heard at the entrance of the campsite. Everyone looked over to see Tatsumaki with a straight face and a raised hand over her head.
"Sup nerds." Tatsumaki said out loud, looking at everyone, slightly annoyed that they ate without her.
A moment of tangible silence could be felt, as the atmosphere was as heavy as Saitama's punches. And within a moment, it disappeared, as applause and whistles erupted with fervor. The heroes congratulated Tatsumaki with all their might, while also voicing their concern over her butt. Blushing up a storm, Tatsumaki merely scoffed at everyone, and levitated a plate of food, eating it cutely. How a person can eat after getting spanked likes that was beyond them, but as always, Tatsumaki marched to the beat of her own drums. After eating three plates worth of food, and downing Bofoi's stash of hidden water bottles, (Much to the scientist annoyance...) Tatsumaki then faced the group, looking as if she was going to say something.
"Hmm? You look like you need to say something Tornado." Child Emperor said, seeing Tatsumaki nod in agreement.
"Yup, put Baldy in S-Rank, and put him in Rank 2.5, or something." Tatsumaki said casually, looking at everyone with a straight face.
For her, Tatsumaki felt like she said something completely normal, while for the others, it was a different story. A myriad of faces formed as soon as Tatsumaki was done talking. Some were happy, others were excited, while the rest were in disbelief. It really was true that Tatsumaki marches to beat of her own drums, but damn, this was something else. Of course, there was only one response that followed in light of what Tatsumaki just said, and it just so happened to be spoken in unison among everyone at that moment.
"WHAT?!"
Hey, funny seeing you guys here. Felt like writing about One Punch Man again. Hope you enjoyed the story, and I'll see you when I see you!