Chapter 18

There's Something Here from Somewhere Else

-LILA-

So: I've been tasked with watching my six-year-old cousin Oskar for the next day or so. Easy, right? I've babysat plenty of times before, so I should basically know what to do, right?

That's what I thought, but Oskar doesn't wat to get with the program. I practically had to drag him to the park, and once we got there he plopped himself on a bench and stopped moving, as if he was in some kind of silent protest of my teenage female tyranny. Oskar is going through his "Girls are stupid" phase, which I am familiar with… a lot of people I knew were firmly stuck in this phase until the age of nine.

"You know," I prompted, "there are plenty of other kids here. Don't you want to go play with them?" I gestured over to the playground area.

"Those are all little kids," Oskar replied, scowling. "I don't play with little kids."

Maybe I was mistaken, but a lot of them didn't really look all that much younger than Oskar did. They ranged in age, if I had to guess, from four to seven. There was even one familiar face in the crowd, Rhonda's oh-so-adorable little sister Rhia, most likely here with her nanny. I was kind of hoping that maybe I could nudge the two into becoming friends, but given Oskar's rather… recalcitrant attitude to girls, not to mention the two-plus-year age gap between the two, it was looking unlikely at this time.

"Well… it has to beat sitting here sulking, right?" I insisted. "Come on. It's a lovely day. Too lovely to waste."

Oskar crossed his arms and huffed. "Don't wanna," he said tersely.

Well, then, I didn't want it to come to this, but it was time to break out the nuclear option. "That's too bad," I said. "Pouty Peters don't get ice cream." Pouty Peters? I'm really glad no one I know was around to hear that. I have enough of a reputation as a sickly-sweet goody-goody as it is.

"You said you'd take me for ice cream!" he complained. "You hafta!"

"I'm certain I don't," I replied. "If you recall, your mom asked you to behave, and you don't seem to be doing that at the moment. If you want ice cream later, you have to hold up your end of the bargain."

"FINE," The boy groused, stomping toward the playground. I allowed myself a small smirk. So far, I was winning the battle of wills. And sure, the boy probably hates me right now, but he will eventually come to appreciate me.

I watched as Oskar grudgingly made his way to the jungle gym, where Rhia was hanging. "Hi!" The girl said brightly. "Wanna play?"

"I don't play with girls," retorted Oskar gruffly.

"Why?" Rhia asked guilelessly.

"Because they're stupid. They can't do anything."

"I'm doing something," Rhia responded. "I climbed up here and now I'm hanging here. That's 'doing something.'"

"I bet a boy helped you," Oskar refuted sullenly.

"Nuh-uh, I did it all myself. I'm the best climber in preschool. Everybody says so."

"Are not."

"Uh huh," she said, dropping down onto the padding underneath. "Wanna see me do it again?"

"You're makin' it up. An' anyway, I bet I can do it better'n you, 'cuz I'm a boy an' I'm bigger."

"Then let's have a race. If I win, you have to admit girls are as good as boys."

"No way."

"I think you're scared I'll beat you," the little girl said with a smirk.

"No way you can beat me. Boys beat girls at everything."

"Uh uh. My sister says I'm good enough to do anything."

"I bet she just says that because she's stupid like you."

"Oh yeah? Shows how much you know! My sister's a - … oh, wait. I'm not sposed to talk about that. Anyway, I bet you're just saying no 'cause you think you can't beat me."

"Sure I can!"

"Then prove it!"

"Okay, fine! I will!" The two took positions on opposite sides of the jungle gym and began to scramble upward, and despite Oskar's slight size advantage (like her sister, Rhia was taller than average), Rhia managed to squeak out a win. You show 'em, sister. Okay, maybe it was a bit unfair of me, given that Oskar is supposed to be family, but he really did need a bit of an attitude adjustment.

"There, see? I beat you," Rhia proclaimed triumphantly.

"You cheated," Oskar replied stubbornly.

"HOW?" asked Rhia incredulously.

"I dunno… you just did! And anyway… I bet you can't make it all the way across the monkey bars!"

"I bet I can do it faster than you!" Rhia retorted.

I smiled to myself. Looks like Oskar had managed to make a friend in spite of himself.

Meanwhile…

In the Two o' Diamonds, Oso was taking a break from draining whatever interesting bottles he could find behind the bar. He had to give the primates their due… they may be mentally-crippled savages, but they knew how to brew them some potent potables. Not that Oso was too surprised… he'd been all over this galaxy, pretty much the first thing most races did upon achieving sapience was find some way to dilute it, whether through edible, drinkable, injectable, inhalable, or other means. It was a universal constant; once folks were smart enough to understand the realities of life, the next thing they wanted was a means to make themselves stupid again.

Oso himself was no stranger to this. An Irken half-breed, there was no place for his kind in the Empire. Which was fine with him. Oso couldn't care less about conquering and invading. His only passion was for the hunt. Testing his skills against the most dangerous the universe had to offer, and coming out on top with a hunk of his quarry to mount on his wall. Of course, hunting wasn't a cheap past time, so he took odd jobs to finance it… bounty hunting, assassinations, or whatever other dirty work the client wanted. He wasn't to particular about it, since a being of his talents could command whatever price he wanted.

At the moment, he'd had enough credits saved up to go after the most legendary prey of all, the Ka'Thaari Space Dragon. Every hunter dreamed of hauling home the head of one of those massive six-legged, three-eyed beast. Conquer one of those babies and they'd be singing songs about you in every cantina from here to Polaris for a century. Unfortunately, they'd been hunted to near extinction ages ago. But Oso had never given up, and he'd tracked a fragment of the Ka'Thaari homeworld here, to this planet, to this city….

…and come up empty. If there had been a Ka'Thaari dragon here, there certainly wouldn't be anything else alive. Ka'Thaari would be apex predators on a backwater world like this one. And yet, this city was absolutely crawling with the dominant monkey-oids, not to mention other forms of life.

But he was still detecting Ka'Thaari signatures… distorted, but there. Something needed to be investigated. So, while he'd quenched his thirst, he'd had his equipment pin down the Ka'Thaari signatures' locations, and was shocked to learn there were not one, but four in this city. Four Ka'Thaari. One was a treasure by itself. Four? He could retire. The closest was not far from here in some kind of recreation space.

Well, then. Break time was over. It was time to get back down to business.

-LILA-

"C'mon, Lila, you got to time us," prodded Oskar. "How else are we gonna know who's faster?"

"Al right," I said, smiling. This really was working out quite nicely. "But you know I can't play favorites, right? Even if you are my cousin."

"That's fine. There's no way she's faster." Rhia stuck her tongue out at him behind his back and I did my best to suppress a giggle. Those two are so going to date someday.

Any racing had to be put on hold, though, when emergency sirens began to blare. The last time they'd gone off was for the big flood of '19 a few years back. I seriously doubted that that was the cause this time, as the weather was supposed to be perfectly clear for at least the next two days. Whatever it was, though, the message was clear; something was seriously wrong.

The message was enforced as a PSF car slowly came down the streets, the officer broadcasting a "Please clear the streets. Return to your homes. This is not a drill." message.

"Excuse me," I asked, flagging down the officer. "What's going on?"

"We can't exactly say," she replied. No straight answer, hm? Obviously something that could potentially cause a panic, or they'd be more forthcoming with details. I wondered what it could possibly be, and whether it could demand personal attention. Unfortunately, there was no way I could leave Oskar alone, especially if there truly was an emergency.

"C'mon, Oskar. You heard the officer. We have to go home."

"But you sa-"

"We have ice cream in the freezer. Okay? Now, come on…"

"All right," he said. He walked over to Rhia, whose nanny had come to collect her. "I guess we'll never know who wins. "

"It's okay. I had fun. Bye, Oskar! Let's play again sometime!"

"…bye…" Oskar replied. D'aw.

"Well, let's g-"

And then it came out of nowhere.

Or rather, he. He landed directly in front of us. Eight feet tall if he was an inch, looking like nothing so much as an outlaw biker on every possible steroid. But green. And noseless. With antennae. Antennae that twitched as he looked us over. I tensed up, placing myself between him and Oskar, ready to act. Secret identities were one thing, but if this guy was a threat, it was the least of my concerns if people found out what I am. I'd morph right here in front of everyone if I needed to, my secret, and my new top, be damned.

"I'm sorry,' I managed in my best nonchalant voice. "Can I hep you?"

"It's you," he said.

"I'm certain I don't know what you're taking about." Stay calm, don't provoke him, don't let him see you sweat.

"Oh, you do. You know you do. I can smell it on ya." How? He has no nose! "You ain't like the other monkeys. There's somethin' different about ya. Somethin' that ain't from here. Somethin' from somewhere else." He grinned, a wide grin full of sharp teeth. A shark's grin. "You got Ka'Thaari in you, girly."

Ka'Thaari… apparently, that was the planet the alien DNA intermingled with my own, coursing through my teal blood, came from. So this guy, obviously some kind of alien himself, I mean, what else would he be, knew all about it. I could continue to lie to him, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be of any use. "What is it you want?" I asked.

"Well… ultimately, yer head," he replied. "See, Ka'Thaari are the rarest trophy creatures in the galaxy. Although, you don't exactly look like one, I bet I can get at least a decent amount of credits."

Okay, let's review. A huge, hulking alien just showed up right in front of me and of me and told me, in no uncertain terms, that he wants nothing more than to chop of my head. I should be scared out of my mind.

OF COURSE I'M SCARED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND! (Yes. Fucking. I think words I would never say.) The moment the guy appeared I was literally so paralyzed with fear I couldn't run even if I wanted to! But then I remembered it wasn't just me. I had to be strong for Oskar's sake. Besides… he could have easily just taken my head already if he wanted to. He was close to twice my size and built like a tank, while I had almost no powers in this form save rapid healing, which wouldn't do much to reattach my head to my body.

"Of course, doin' it right here an' now wouldn't be sportin' would it," he continued, which I must admit did explain things nicely. "You gotta give me a good fight first."

"I'm… not sure I would be much of a fight," I said nervously. "You're clearly far bigger and stronger than I am."

He snorted dismissively. "We both know that's a load'a trash. If you got Ka'Thaari in you, then you got fight in you. Even if you ain't showin' it now."

"Lila…?" questioned Oskar fearfully. Lord only knew how scared he was. "What's goin' on? Why does the green guy want to hurt you?"

Well, there was no hiding it now. "I'm… what you call 'special,' dear."

"… you mean like that one boy in my class who-"

"No, not like him." I looked around. No one here but us. "Don't tell anyone, but… I'm a superhero." I turned back to the alien. "If it's a fight you want, well, I think we can arrange something. As long as you don't hurt any innocent people."

"I'm listenin'," the space-biker guy replied.

"There's an old quarry north of town. Let me get my nephew somewhere safe, and I'll meet you there in one hour. That's one-twenty-fourth of the time it takes this planet to rotate on its axis, for reference.

"Why can't we throw down now?" he asked.

"Because you want a real fight, don't you? And for that, I need to be in my true form. You don't think this is what I really look like, do you?"

He chuckled. "Sure. Why not. Makes no difference t'me whether I kill ya now or a – what'd ya call it? Hour? – from now."

"All right. Although… how can I trust that you will keep your word?"

"Believe me, I ain't interested in spendin' any more time on this fralkhole than strickly necessary. An' I don't waste no one for free. If they ain't worth somethin' – an' these chimps you got runnin' around sure as frack ain't – or I ain't getting' paid top cred for it, then it ain't worth my time an' talent. So don't worry yer little face-spots about it… I'll be waitin' in yer quarry, and I won't harm a hair on anyone's head until then." He grinned that horrifying grin again. "But you welch on that agreement, well… I can't say I won't get upset. An' when I get upset, I get a little… rampagey."

"Understood."

"Don't go lettin' me down now," he reiterated, leaping up into the air, whistling. In mid-air, he was intercepted by what could only be some kind of flying motorcycle. Well, it wasn't as if he didn't look the part.

"Awesome," Oskar marvelled. He looked up at me. "You're not really a superhero, are you? You just said that so he'd go away."

"Yes, actually, I really am a superhero. Let me take you back home and I'll show you."

"Well, do you believe me now?" I traded my blouse and skirt for orange stretch fabric with dark purple accents, wrist-length gloves, boots, and belt, undone my braid (it wouldn't do if Lila and Decibelle shared the same hairdo) and shifted to my alien form.

"You're Decibelle?" Oskar asked incredulously? "For real?"

"Yep," I bopped his nose lightly with my tail for emphasis. "For really real. Okay, Oskar, you wait here like a good boy, okay? I've asked Mrs. Vitello from downstairs to keep an eye on you. Just stay put." I put on the TV, where a cartoon pirate was asking the audience "Who is it who dwells in a coconut shell?" (The answer, of course, is "Andy Anemone.") "Just watch cartoons or something until I'm back."

"But Lila,"

"Please. Stay here. Be safe for me. I'll be back once I'm done."

This was a risk, to be sure, after all, out of the four of us, I'm easily the worst fighter, having had no real fight training. Phoebe was a master fencer and a red belt in Tae Kwan Do, Helga had taken Jiujitsu courses and was well-versed in wrestling, and even Rhonda had had some karate training from Arnold's grandma. Me? None whatsoever. It had never seemed important. Even as a superhero, I had never really needed to do any real fighting.

But it was okay, really.

After all… I had no intention of facing the alien alone.

A.N.: No reviews? Really? :( I know it wasn't the most exciting chapter, and Lila's not the most popular character, but… really?

Well, four-on-one. Surely, this won't be too hard for our heroes, right?

Come on. Is it ever that easy? I'm sure Oso has some nasty tricks up his ripped-off sleeves to even those odds.

Next: The war machine springs to life, opens up one eager eye – I mean, uh, next time: Showdown at Toran Quarry