Chapter 26
Nostalgia Day
Gerald Field
-HELGA-
"I dunno," Gerald said. "Feels kinda wrong to do this without Arnold."
"Hey, it's not like life stopped when he left, Geraldo. Besides… if we don't use the lot, the city'd just reclaim it and auction it off to the highest bidder. The last think we need is some big chain store snatching up the last bit of free land in the neighborhood. Now, we gonna play ball or what?"
Every once in a while, the gang got together at Gerald Field for a game of some sort, usually baseball, sometimes football, occasionally soccer… one time Arnold convinced us to try Lacrosse, which was a disaster since no one actually seemed to know the rules. The games became less frequent as we got older since we were all doing our own thing, but we still made it a point to make the time for a game at least once every other month, mostly for the reasons I mentioned above. We worked too hard to claim this space just to let it get gentrified with the rest of Hillwood.
Today, we were just going to go with your classic plain-ol' baseball game against the incoming seniors, pending actually having enough to field a whole team. See, actually getting enough people together was the hard part, since people would have other things on their plate. I don't think we've had a game where everyone showed up in years.
So far, we had Gerald, me, Sheena, Sid, Stinky, Harold (who I'd seen surprisingly little of all season… rumor had it he was trying to get his GED so he could join Patty in California that fall, instead of being a 20-year-old high school junior), Park (talk about a deep cut), and Phoebe (mostly in a moral support capacity), with Brainy serving as umpire. Others were supposed to show up later. I hoped it would be enough, because it was a safe Ludwig would be bringing his A team.
"Maybe we should warm up a bit, on account o' we're all really outta practice," Stinky suggested.
"What're you talking about? We're all at the peak of our athletic skill!" He tossed the ball into his glove to punctuate his statement, but bobbled it spectacularly and balefully watched as it bounced and rolled away. "On second thought, a warm-up would probably be a good idea."
"In his defense, Gerald's been mostly playing football, which requires a completely different skillset," explained Phoebe.
"Yep, you never need to catch a ball in football," I shot back. "All right, let's run some simple drills, people, throwing catching, you know the deal."
It was kind of like a comedy of errors early on, with a lot of missed catches and chasing after balls, but eventually we began to approach something resembling competence. We weren't where we once were back in elementary school.
After about fifteen minutes, Rhonda, Nadine, and some punk chick I didn't recognize showed up fashionably late, as one would expect.
"Hey, who's the new chick?" Gerald asked.
"Why, Gerald," the girl answered in a sweet, innocent voice, "I'm oh-so-certain we've known each other for, just, ever-such a long time."
"N-no way…" Park mumbled.
"Th-that's… that's Lila! She's, like… some kind of punk chick now!" Harold exclaimed, stating the obvious.
"Whillickers," added Stinky. "What an unexpected development."
"Yup," I commented, smirking. "It was bound to happen eventually. Rhonda finally went crazy, and Lila was her unwitting victim."
"Nope," Rhonda replied, returning it. "This is all Lila. All I did was tag along."
"It's true," she replied. "This makeover was entirely my decision. To be perfectly honest, the farmgirl look really didn't suit me anymore. So…" she struck a pose, "You like it?"
The boys enthusiastically nodded. Figures. Lila's got curves for days, and this outfit showed them off perfectly. Not a ton of people staring at me like that…. Not that I'm jealous, or anything. Let Lila have the male attention. The days of me being salty over her are long since gone.
"All right," I interrupted, "Lila looks different now, and we've all had a good look, but let's not forget the reason we're all here. We're here to kick the Seniors' asses at baseball. Now, listen up, 'cause I don't wanna go through this a hundred times. Harold, you're pitching, I'm catching, Park's at first, Gerald's at second, Sid's at short, Stinky's got the hot corner,"
"That's third base," Stinky commented proudly. "I remembered on account'o Phoebe's had to explain it to me half a dozen times."
"Well, turns out you can learn. Will miracles never cease? Anyway, Rhonda, Sheena, and Nadine are left, right and center respectively, Lila's an alternate. All right, hitting drills! Everyone look alive, we're burnin' daylight here!"
The seniors showed up around an hour after us (technically on-time since that was when the game was actually scheduled; I'd made our own class show up early because I knew we need practice badly). "Well," Ludwig said with a smirk of unearned superiority, "they showed up after all. Guess I owe you ten bucks, Franz."
If Wolfgang and Ludwig were hulking brutes, then Franz was a Titan. Well, over six feet and 250 pounds of solid muscle, he was easily the most imposing figure in school, with fiery red hair and eyes that held no pity. There was something… off about him. Maybe it was the way I'd never actually heard him speak. Of course, that could just be me and my suspicious nature.
Rounding out their squad were Edmund, of course, and the usual background Seniors that I could never be bothered to keep track of the names of. There were a couple of girls here too, for a change; I recognized that chick from the game store who keeps changing her hair color, for one.
"You're one to talk. We've been standing around here waiting for you for an hour, Lurch. I was figuring you chickened out, but I guess not."
"Pataki. Still writin' checks you can't cash with that big mouth of yours, huh? Well, I guess with the football-face outta town, you're not getting' much other use out of it," the big lummox remarked with a leer. Did he- was he implying what I think he- oh, that piece of…
"Hey," Wolfgang interrupted, "Not cool, man." Well, that was a surprise. Wolfgang, of all people, standing up for me? Have I truly slipped into the Berenstein Universe?
"Hey, man, I don't mean anything by it. I'm just sayin' maybe she's cranky because she isn't getting it on a regular basis. Then again..." He rubbed his chin. "I never really did buy that you two were a real couple. I kinda figured he was your cover or something."
I raised an eyebrow. "Are you making a point, or can I start ignoring you now?"
"I'm just sayin', you seem like the type that plays for the other team." He snickered as his own "cleverness".
"Ohhhh…" I said, "I get it, you're implying that because I don't conform to your idea of femininity, I'm a lesbian. And this, in your little Australopithecine brain, is something I should be ashamed of. You intend it as an insult. That's cute. That's real cute. Well, then," I hoisted my bat. "If we're done with that waste of time, how about we play some ball?"
His smirk somehow got even more pronounced. "Time was you'd've decked someone for that kind of thing, Pataki. Guess you've gone soft."
He's not worth it, Helga. He's just a stupid Neanderthal who's not worth getting his blood on your knuckles. "So, how are we gonna decide who goes first. Coin flip? Last hand on the bat?"
"Perhaps Janken?" suggested Phoebe. "Or, 'Rock Paper Scissors', in Western terminology."
"Sounds fair to me," Wolfgang agreed.
"Hey. I'm not done," Ludwig protested. "This bitch called me an Australian and I want an apology. I am one-hundred percent Canadian and proud of it."
"I didn't call you an Australian, you nimrod. I called you a primitive hominid with a tiny brain capacity." Hey, if you're gonna insult someone, you might as well make sure they understand the insult.
"Oh, that's it, you little whore…"
"Take that back."
Just like that, he was between us. I had never seen him move, which I guess shouldn't surprise me. Sneaking up on me without my being aware of it had been his whole thing, after all. And now, before I'd had a chance to register it, he was staring down Ludwig."
"Back down, scarecrow, this is between me and her."
"Not until you apologize to her." This was not looking good. Brainy had the height to look Ludwig in the eye, sure, but nowhere near the bulk to actually intimidate him.
"Brainy, I appreciate you defending my honor, but you really don't have to stoop to his level."
Ludwig chuckled. "Looks like you've got a new white knight, Pataki."
"Ludwig. Bro, Seriously." Wolfgang interrupted. "Take it down a notch."
"Jeez, you've been spending too much time with Lloyd. Your balls are starting to wither."
"Just apologize so we can get started," Wolfgang advise, ignoring the barb. Wow. Maybe hanging with the Princess was rubbing off on the guy.
"Fine, I'm sorry. Sorry that she's an ugly bitch."
And then it happened.
*POW*
Brainy…. BRAINY… quiet, blink-and-you-miss-him Brainy… had punched Ludwig square in the nose. For several moments, both stood there. Brainy, staring at his own fist, registering what he had just unthinkingly done. Ludwig, brow knitted, blood trickling from his nostril, processing that he had just been defied by this decidedly unimposing specimen. Once he reached full comprehension, there was only one way this would end if I didn't intervene. And it wouldn't be pretty.
"You just made a big mistake, scarecrow," Ludwig declared, hands forming fists.
To his credit, and probable detriment, Brainy was not backing down. "Apologize to her, Ludwig," he said calmly, perhaps oblivious to, perhaps accepting of, the fact that his most likely fate was that of a greasy smear in the lot's dirt.
"Bro-" began Wolfgang, making a move to hold him back, but Ludwig pushed him aside and swung his fist at Brainy's face.
But it wasn't his face it made contact with. It was my hand. Like I said… this was going to end badly for him if I didn't intervene.
"Outta the way, Pataki. You're gonna get your face messed up. Well, messed up more."
"Drop it. Or I drop you. You know I can do it, Ludwig. You know this only ends with one of us winning. You can back out now, or you can leave on a stretcher. Your choice."
"This isn't over, Pataki," he said, backing down.
"C'mon man…" Wolfgang advised the seething brute. "Let's just get back to the game and-"
"I said it's not over!" he said the minute my back was turned, shoving past me and punching an unprepared Brainy, breaking yet another in a long line of pairs of glasses.
"Looks like you made your choice," I said.
The next several minutes were spent beating the absolute bejesus out of him. Somehow, some way, I managed to restrain myself to not break every bone in his body, but by the end, by the time I had fully come back to my senses, he was lying on the ground in a heap and I was rubbing sore knuckles, breathing heavily while everyone just stared. I hadn't done anything like that in years.
"Who's soft now, Van Dyke?" I spat, both figuratively and literally, at him. That'll show him to disrespect me and… oh my gosh, Brainy! The sudden reminder of just whose honor I'd been defending in the first place snapped me back to reality and I hurriedly turned to check on him. He had the beginning of a black eye but otherwise looked okay. "Oh… oh my god, are you okay?" I asked.
"I'll be fine," he replied. "Nothing bruised except my ego. And my face."
"Harold, go get a raw steak from Mr. Green." I demanded. I took another glance back at my handiwork. Wolfgang and Edmund were helping Ludwig to his feet. He cast a final baleful glare at us. Before they escorted him off the field. Obviously, the game was off. "Jeez, I got kinda carried away, didn't I." I commented. "I honestly don't think I've snapped like that since fifth grade."
"I'm not gonna lie," Gerald replied. "That was kind of scary."
"This didn't exactly go how I expected," Brainy remarked ruefully.
"How was it supposed to go?" I asked. "You easily whup the guy who's twice your size? Unless you're secretly a capoeira master, that kinda thing just wasn't gonna happen."
"Why would you specifically pick capoeira out of all the possible martial arts I could secretly be a master of?" Brainy asked, raising the eyebrow not connected to the eye currently swelling shut.
"Oh, I dunno, sexy Brazilian dance fighting, sounds like the kinda eclectic stuff you'd be into."
"Really," he replied, smirking. "You think I'm sexy, Helga?"
I felt myself blushing. "I never said you were sexy, Brainy, I said capoeira was sexy."
"And yet that's where your mind went."
I flushed deeper. "Shut uuuuuup. Anyway, point is, you don't need to beat anyone up to impress me. I don't find toxic masculinity attractive. If I did, I'd be going out with… well… Ludwig." I shuddered at the thought.
"Yeah, I guess that's not really me, I just… I heard him insult you and something snapped inside me. I guess… Dark Brainy came out."
"I get it, and… it's sweet that you stood up to me against an overwhelmingly… I mean, overwhelmingly… like you wouldn't believe how lopsided the matchup was-"
"I get it," he interjected.
"…well, anyway, it was sweet, but I don't need that. I can take care of myself."
"That's pretty obvious. I guess I was just doing what I thought he would do."
"I didn't really like it when he did it either. I mean, yeah, part of me was flattered to have my own personal knight, but the rest of me hated when he would stoop to that level. I'm not a frail flower that needs to be protected."
"Believe me, 'frail' is the last word that comes to mind when I think of you."
There it was, though. "What he would do." I wasn't so naïve as to think that Brainy wouldn't be constantly comparing himself to Arnold and measuring every action he took against him. It was only natural. I was with him a long time, and obsessed with him for even longer. How could Arnold not be constantly in the back of his mind as the Ur-example to which everything must be compared? It was something we were both all-too-keenly aware of… no matter how far this relationship of ours progressed, Arnold Shortman would always be the massive shadow looming over it. We could live in denial of it, hoping it would eventually go away (but knowing full well it never would), or we could acknowledge it, accept it, and try to build what we had in its own way.
"I'm gonna tell him," I said. "About us. He deserves to know, and maybe we can actually let this grow instead of constantly second-guessing ourselves."
"I'm still thinking that 'maybe' would be the operative word there."
"Still, it'll be one less thing on my conscience. I'm sick of it eating at me."
"Hey, I'll back whatever decision you make 100%, just make sure it's what you want, all right?"
Once Harold had returned with a steak, I took Brainy's hand while he applied it. "Okay, guys, I think I'm gonna walk Brainy home, since he can't see worth crap."
"Oooooooh…." Park, Sid, Harold and Stinky collectively cooed.
"Y'know, considering what she just did to Ludwig, you guys must really feel like living dangerously," Gerald remarked. "Speaking of, you know he's not gonna just let this go, right? The dude's been in an' out of juvie for years an' it's not because he's a reasonable guy who knows when he's beat."
"Pfft. I handled him once, I can handle him again."
"I'm just sayin'… watch your back, Pataki. And you also might wanna watch his."
That was something else… I could handle myself, but Brainy was another story.
"Maybe I will take up sexy dance fighting," he mused. "I think they teach it at the Y."
"Wouldn't mind seeing that," I remarked. "Think they offer couples classes?"
A.N.: Ludwig is a dick. I always figured Wolfgang could be redeemed someday, but Ludwig… Ludwig is a dick. As for Franz, he may be important later on when the school year resumes, but for now, he's just kinda there. I have to acknowledge that Crea8tivelyBankrupt's original story concept for The Mitigators involved the arrival of two new bullies, one of them named Franz, and while I thought up the idea of a new bully named Franz independently, I should acknowledge he also had the idea so nobody thinks I'm ripping hm off.
Sstockbrdge: It's the journey, not the destination.
PenguinLord: Glad you like Lila's new attitude.
Jose: Some people are just not suited to their jobs.
Next: Helga prepares to break the news to Arnold, but has he been keeping something from her? See you next time!