Chapter 37

Challenge

Exterior, Circle Theater

An ordinary November day in the city of Hillwood, as the holiday season's inevitable approach began to ramp up. Gray and overcast, as one would expect here in the state of Washington at this time of year. But then, one couldn't run ones' schedule depending on the weather. Not here. If you had to wait for the perfect day to conduct your business, you might well be waiting a long time.

And so, it was on this cloudy, chilly day that the media was gathered, waiting for the Mayor to make her announcement. The familiar fanfare was played as she was ushered in front of the theater by her bodyguard.

"*ahem* Citizens of Hillwood," Mayor Dixie began, "seven years ago, this very theater was slated for demolition by the city. Due to the efforts of one boy, it was saved from that fate and declared a city landmark. Still, it languished, unused, abandoned. I'm pleased to announce, though that in the last year, the Society for the Preservation of Hillwood's Legacy has taken it upon itself to restore the theater back to its original condition. Today, citizens of Hillwood, I'm here to proudly announce that the restoration project is officially complete, and in the upcoming days, the Circle Theater will once again be open for business. And here to officially cut the ribbon, one of the names that made this theater famous, Hillwood's own Dino Spumoni!"

As the band struck up "Don't Count Me Out," the aging crooner and ex-petty thug shuffled on stage. "Hey, what's goin' on? MY lousy manager don't tell me anything these days. This better not be another two-bit tire store opening."

"It's the Circle Theater reopening," the mayor whispered back.

"Oh, well, that's different," Dino replied. "I got a lotta good memories about this here joint. Some not so good ones too, but mostly good ones. Oh, and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for what I said about the French… you gotta understand, things was different when I was growin' up… anyway, never mind." He took hold of the scissors. "Here's to one of the classiest dames to grace Hillwood, the Circle Theater!"

And it likely would have ended there, had things not taken a turn for the strange.

He arrived like a clap of thunder, the pavement cracking with his impact as he landed. He stood seven feet tall, built like Greek statuary, skin bronzed, hair flowing, held back by a golden circlet, clad in loose red pants, a vest open to show his rippling pecs and rockhard abs and baring his bulging bi- and tri-ceps.

"Hey, what gives, who is this mameluke?" questioned Dino. "Is it Pride Month already? Not that I got a problem with that, Sir Elton's a close personal friend, it's just that respect must be paid, capische?"

"People of Hillwood! Do not despair! For I am your new champion… the Monkey King! From this day forward, I shall be the one to defend this city from all evil. Which means all the city's other heroes' services will no longer be required."

Mayor Dixie stared at the newcomer incredulously. "I've never heard of you. I've heard of Monkeyman, but never any sort of Monkey King…"

"Ah, you refer to my former identity," the Monkey King said dismissively. "That's in my past now. I'm become something far more since then."

"Uh… huh…" the mayor replied skeptically. "Of course we're grateful for your service, but Hillwood's superheroes have served us very well over the years. We're not just going to dismiss them, and I doubt that they won't have a say in the matter of your suggestion of their retirement."

"Fair enough, I suppose," the Monkey King remarked. "Well, if any of them object to this arrangement, I will be glad to discuss it in person with them. They might not like what I have to say about the matter." And with that last veiled threat, the Monkey King launched himself back into the sky before shooting off.

"This isn't good," the mayor commented to an aide. "We've got a new player on our hands, and he seems to be a wild card. Do we have a way to get in touch with the… did they ever come up with a team name?"

"I don't think they did. We've just been calling them 'The Girls,' you know, like that show…"

"…the one where the team leader is a complete psychopath? I'm… not sure that really scans, Molloy…"

Molloy paused to consider that. "Yeah, now that I think about it…"

"Well, think on it some more, and in the meantime, please do your best to get in touch with them."

As it happened, though, there was no need to get in touch, because thanks to the pervasive nature of the modern Internet, news tended to spread instantaneously, and a clip of the mayor and a local celebrity being accosted by a super-powered maniac? That was the kind of thing that would be caught by a phone and viral on TubeTube within seconds.

-HELGA-

"Have you seen this?" shouted Phoebe as she thrust her phone in my face.

"Yes, Phoebe, I've seen a phone before, they're actually a very common sight," I replied sarcastically.

"Cute," she retorted peevishly. "I was referring to the video playing on the phone."

"Yeah, I know, but you should have known you'd get a sarcastic response if you were gonna be vague. Okay, whattaya got."

I watched the video play out, pausing when the Monkey King suddenly arrived. "Well, someone's been watching too much anime," I remarked.

"Yes, he does appear to have taken inspiration from a certain popular work… or, perhaps the work of Ming Dynasty-era work of fiction from which that work itself ultimately derives inspiration… nevertheless, I believe we have a problem on our hands."

"What problem? So what if another hero wants to set up shop in this town? If I can take a few extra nights off, more power to 'im."

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. Continue watching the feed."

"All right," I hit play again, "but I don't see wha- oh, no. He did NOT just call us all out!"

"I'm afraid he did, Helga. This is now officially a superhero rivalry."

"Oh, no. No no no no. Taking a bit of our load off is one thing, but I am not just gonna hang up my wings for this guy! If he thinks we're just gonna roll over for him, he's got another think coming! Who is this guy, anyway?"

"Believe it or not… that is none other than local folk hero Monkeyman."

"What? No way. I've seen Monkeyman. He's a scrawny, pasty dork who looks like he'd fall over if you blow on him strongly. Not some kinda… bronze Adonis with… what is that, a tail? Where does a guy get a tail?"

"You have a tail. I have a tail."

"But I know how we got ours! His obviously isn't from the same source. Note the lack of wings, secondary arms-"

"My point being, there's no reason to assume the virus is the only source of superpowers or physical mutations. Didn't Rhonda mention encountering superhumans in Paris?"

"Now that you mention it…"

"We've also seen an increased incidence of unusual phenomena over the last few months. At least two of those-"

Phoebe's exposition was interrupted by the arrival of the Princess herself, breathless and still garbed in her football uniform. It wasn't too hard to guess she had just been exposed to the news in the middle of practice and run all the way from the field. "Look at this!" she prompted, shoving her phone into my face and sparking a serious case of déjà vu.

"Crazy-looking Greek God type with a monkey tail and an overinflated savior complex? Well aware, thanks. Also, shove your phone in my face again and I might forget you're one of my best friends." I cracked my knuckles. "Are we clear?"

She gulped. While definitely no wimp, she knew very well who would come out on top if we tussled. "Crystal," she answered. "Well, now that we all know what's going on, what do we do about this?"

"Well, I know I'm not quitting," I said. "I've been a superhero for almost five years now, and I like it. I'm not about to give it up just on his say-so."

"Agreed. I only just started enjoying the gig, why let him ruin that?" Lila, who had just joined us, added. "I assume this is about this Monkey King person?"

"You would assume correctly. I'm thinking perhaps one of us should approach him diplomatically, since he seems to bear some kind of animosity toward us in particular."

"That would be my fault," Rhonda explained, proceeding to recount the details of her encounter with Monkeyman the previous day. "I don't know why he suddenly has superpowers-"

"As I was saying, I have a theory ab-" Phoebe tried to interrupt.

"-but we can at least guess that he's still holding some kind of grudge because I chewed him out."

"Yeah, probably," I agreed.

"Helga!" scolded Lila. "She probably feels bad enough about it!"

"Oh, hey, don't get me wrong! She was absolutely right to tell him off! That guy had no business dicking around with a terrorist situation. Hell, I'm not sure I'd even trust him to handle a litterbug."

"But you're still saying it's because of me he's pissed off."

"Yeah, but who cares? Sure, his feelings got hurt, but in the long run, what's more important, his hurt feelings, or all those hostages you saved?"

"Good point," Rhonda said, "but right or not, we're still stuck with the consequences, and they come in the form of what is essentially a super-powered hissy fit."

"Just how did Monkeyman become some kind of god, anyway?" questioned Lila.

Phoebe cleared her throat loudly, "As I was about to say, I think I may have an idea."

"Well, lay it on us, Pheebs," I prompted.

"Really? You won't interrupt me again?"

"I promise,"

"Well, as I was-"

"So, seen the new Pop Daddy trailer?"

"AGGGHHHH!"

"…okay, okay, I've had my fun. Go on…"

Phoebe glared at me while I did my best to look innocent. "ANYWAY… I'd like to call your attention to two recent incidents. The occurrence at the Hillwood Renaissance Faire, in which a local teen got his hands on a 'prop' wizards' staff that actually turned out to be the real thing, and more recently, the petty criminal who acquired a pair of enchanted boots. In both cases, the perpetrators traced their acquisitions to some kind of mysterious roving emporium, run by an enigmatic nameless proprietor of ambiguous humanity.

"I think I read this Stephen King story," I replied. "So, what we're dealing with is some kind of 'I give you cool stuff, you give me your immortal soul' thing."

"Oddly enough, it would appear not," Phoebe responded. "The customers in question claim that the shopkeeper asked only for cash in transaction, rather than any manner of Faustian deal. Although, the artifacts did appear to have some sort of corrupting influence on the purchaser. Then again, that might not have been intentional. It's entirely possible the vendor's only motive was profit, not corruption. The evil actions of our perpetrators may simply have been a consequence of the corrupting nature of the sudden acquisition of power."

"So… what you're saying is that cases like these are going to continue until we track down and stop the vendor," reasoned Rhonda.

"Oh, great, all we have to do is find a guy who appears and disappears completely at random. Piece of cake!" I remarked sardonically.

"I said we'd have to deal with it, I didn't say it would be easy," retorted Rhonda.

"What happened to the staff and the boots, anyway?" Lila asked.

"We passed them on to Bridget, who says she has a consultant she calls on for supernatural purposes," explained Phoebe. "The consultant hasn't contacted us yet. Bridget claims he can be a bit… erratic."

"Great, just great," I said. "Well, since that's a dead end right now, I vote we concentrate on dealing with Monkey Boy."

"Yes. We should firmly establish that we have no intention of ceasing our activities, but that we would be more than amenable to perhaps coordinate our activities with his for the greater good of the city."

"Exactly. We're sticking around and he can like it or lump it. So, all in favor of me speaking for the group?"

"Um, I was thinking of perhaps myself or Lila for that endeavor…"

"What, you think I can't handle it?"

"Well, no offense," Rhonda stated, "but you're not exactly the one that first comes to mind when you think of 'diplocmacy…'"

"I can be plenty diplomatic," I responded through clenched teeth. "I've seen Arnold be diplomatic a million times, and I'm pretty sure I can fake it if I need to." My voice took on a mock-cheerful tone. "We both want the same thing, Monkey King. We want what's best for the citizens of Hillwood. Surely you agree that if we all band together and pool our resources, we can make this city a better place for everyone."

Phoebe giggled. "You do really do a great Arnold," she acknowledged.

"Yeah, well, you stalk a guy for seven years and make out with him for five, you pick up a few things."

"Eh. I'm okay with this," Rhonda conceded. "Besides, I seriously doubt he wants to talk to me."

"See? This is gonna go fine."

This was not going fine.

Oh, sure, it started innocently enough, with me doing a very visible flyover of the city to attract attention, ending up at the currently-deserted fairgrounds (there was enough space here for a brawl in case negotiations went south, without putting innocent bystanders in danger). My hope was that the flyby would attract his attention and lure him here. My hopes paid off moments later when he arrived with a clap of thunder.

"So… you received my message," he said, regarding me with a disdainful glare. "I was kind of hoping Joule would be the one to show up. I have a few words for her."

"Joule's got a prior engagement tonight," I replied. "You're going to have to deal with me instead, Monkeyman."

"Monkey King," he insisted.

"Right, right… congratulations on your coronation. Looks like you got a serious upgrade. How'd that happen?"

"That would be my business, not yours…" he replied with a condescending air. "I take it your friends selected you to deliver their resignation notice?"

"Yes, about that… we're not resigning. The way I see it, we have as much of a right to be here as you do. More, in fact, because as far as I'm aware, we outnumber you."

"Look… you may be powerful, you may be more popular, but the simple fact is, that I am now the most powerful being in this city, and you and your sisters are yesterday's news. So, I would suggest that you quit now, and spare yourselves the humiliation of attempting to compete for the title of City Champion."

I had no idea if he was telling the truth about being more powerful than me. I hadn't really seen much of anything in the way of power, other than he could fly super fast and was strong enough to leave impact cracks when he landed (but then, we did too when we weren't careful). I wasn't sure whether I was anticipating a potential fight with the guy or dreading it. Either way, maybe now was the time to give diplomacy a try. I took a deep breath and channeled my best Arnold. "Look, there's no reason we have to be in conflict here. We both want the same thing. We want what's best for the citizens of Hillwood. Surely you agree that if we all band together and pool our resources, we can make this city a better place for everyone. Don't you agree?"

He paused to consider this. Was that it? Had I actually… convinced him? Damn, my Arnold game must be better than even I imagined. "You… do make a lot of sense."

"I knew you'd see reason. So… how about we shake on it, Monkeyman?"

He froze. "Monkey… King."

"Wait, what-"

"Monkey KING. You called me Monkeyman. I'm not Monkeyman anymore, I'm Monkey King. I knew it. You don't respect me, you never respected me. I'm nothing but a muh- a joke to you, aren't I. A pathetic joke. Well, this pathetic joke is tired of being mu- taken for granted."

Oh, crap. I hadn't meant to call him by his old name, it was simply force of habit, but I'd done it, and it was the worst possible thing I could have done. "Hey, c'mon, I didn't mean to call you by your old na-"

"LIAR!" he cut me off. "You don't take me seriously at all! Well, maybe you'll take me seriously once I show you just how powerful I am!"

He'd been about fifty feet away from me when he said that, but he cleared that distance faster than I could blink. Oh, sh- was all my brain had time to get out before his fist was connecting with my solar plexus. Moments later, I came to a stop hundreds of feet away, my mid-torso still afire with the impact. Nothing had ever hit me so hard. Not even Wheezin' Ed.

I was still gathering my senses when he was on me again in a blink. I just had the presence of mind to grab his arm with both right hands before he pounded me into the ground. Even then, his one arm was nearly stronger than my two, and it was all I could do to force him off. Nevertheless, for the moment I had the upper hand (no pun intended) and I took that momentary advantage launch an assault of my own, all four fists barraging him…. Only to find myself punching air. The moment i realized he was no longer in front of me, the sound of his breath alerted me to his new position; faster than I could register, he was behind me and delivering a kick to the small of my back. In another blink of the eye, he was above me and elbow-dropping me, driving me down into the dirt, then picking me up by my costume's collar to look me in the eye.

"I'm not even winded," he remarked with a smirk. "For the champion of Hillwood, you're proving to be a major- EEEYOOOWWW!" He hurriedly dropped me and desperately tried to put out his tail… which I had just set on fire. His fault for stopping to taunt me long enough for me to focus my heat powers.

"Punching's not all I do," I pointed out.

"I see that," he said. "You caught me off-guard, Temper. It won't happen again." And he was launching himself at me once again, but this time, I was ready. As thunder crashed around us, signaling one of those classic Hillwood November downpours, I planted my feet firmly and timed a perfect uppercut to catch him in the jaw. He stood, stunned for a moment, spat out blood. So, I could hurt him. He was faster, sure, but I guessed that we were about even in strength.

We set at it again, trading blows more evenly this time. I managed to land a few here and there, but once again, his speed put mine to shame. Even with twice the fists he had, he still managed to land more punches than I could, and dodge most of the ones I threw. And I was feeling something I never thought I would ever feel again… fatigue. He was actually managing to tire me out. All this time, I had been wanting an actual challenge, and here it was. Careful what you wish for, Pataki. You might get it.

There was still one advantage I had, though. The rainstorm. All this moisture in the air made for plenty for my cold powers to work with. So, I turned it all on him. He was already soaked to the bone. I precipitously dropped the temperature around him, making all that water freeze. As the rain continued to fall, it froze too, thickening his icy covering and hopefully cooling (again no pun intended) his rage.

"There," I panted. "Now, maybe if you're ready to listen to reason, Monkey King, we can talk about sharing-"

Suddenly, his eyes lit up. He flexed, his icy prison shattering.

"Give it up," he said. "You've lost. You and your friends are no match for me. The city is mine now." Satisfied, he blasted off, faster than I could ever hope to follow at my best. And I was not at my best. The fatigue would eventually fade, the bruises would heal, but for now, I was spent.

And I did not like the way he said "The city is mine now." It didn't sound like something a protector would say. It sounded like something an aspiring ruler would.

This didn't sound like Monkeyman at all. Whatever had powered him up was also warping his mind. Now, the one-time folk hero was metamorphosing into a superpowered tyrant before our very eyes. And it was entirely possible that he was more powerful than any of us.

This… was not going to end well.

A.N.: Uh oh, it looks like Monkeyman's gone full heel, and he's no pushover. Can the girls reach the good-hearted Monkeyman inside the deranged Monkey King, or does this hero's tail end in tragedy?

PenguinLord: Yep! I think it's not just Monkeyman having a crisis, it's everyone around him.

Jose: Monkeyman does kinda remind me of Darkwing Duck… specifically the reboot version where he struggles to get recognition.

By the way, readers, check out Jose's DeviantArt page for a look at Lori Loud from an alternate universe where it was the Loud Fam that caught the mutation virus.

JayDogg: I don't know how much more football action we're going to see, but thanks for the tips!

Veganmama: The shopkeeper's a fun character to write. I love smarmy salesman types. As for Monkeyman, I'm sure that deep down there's a spark of good in him, but is it enough to overcome the crown's influence? Stay tuned!

Next: Reign of the Monkey King