NOT THIS AGAIN CHAPTER 18
Monsters came and went. The usual suspects. Asgore passed through with words of encouragement and more of his special tea blend, which they mixed with liquid energy magic in a capsule hooked up to drip-feed into Sans's soul. They talked, but Frisk didn't hear them. Bratty and Catty came for Papyrus with starfaits and gossip to kill an hour or two, and some supportive words. Time seemed to stop and race at the same time. It was morning the next day before the kid knew it. She hadn't slept a wink.
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She could hear monster voices around the room, but what they were saying didn't process in her mind. She finally straightened up when Papyrus put a hand on her head. She looked at him with confusion. She hadn't realized he was there for some reason. Asriel was long gone.
"Did you hear what I said?" he asked.
She stiffly shook her head. He gestured to his side, to a small folding table she hadn't noticed. It was laden with plates and cups, all filled with food, carefully placed and pristine.
"You didn't touch any of your dinner, or breakfast, or drinks or anything at all, really," he said. "Do you want something else? Spaghetti? Anything."
"Um… N-Not really," she said quietly. "I guess I'm not that hungry."
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Papyrus frowned slightly. He sighed. "Me neither." He scooped her into a hug. "Do you want to take a nap? It's been a long night."
"No, I'm okay," she said. "Um. What time is it?"
"Early. Late?" He laughed. "Sorry, little sister, I think it's somewhere in between breakfast and lunch."
.
She looked up at him. It hadn't struck her how dazed he looked; how grey around the eye sockets. She puffed out a quiet sigh. Her magic sputtered, but she reached up and held his face anyway. His shoulders slumped and he snuggled her.
"Feeling a little rough, bro?" she asked.
"Well, I've definitely felt better!" He chuckled hoarsely, and his gaze shifted behind her. "It's sort of funny, isn't it? He's always been so weak but I don't think he's ever gotten as sick as this before."
"It sucks," she grumbled.
He snickered and nodded. "Yes, it does! A lot." He looked at Sans and sighed. "I just wish I… I mean. Can you keep a really really big secret for me?"
"Yeah," she said.
"I know that I, the great Papyrus, should really be rather on top of this," he said, "but I actually… still don't know what to do. I thought a lot about it, you know! But still." He looked at his hand. "My healing isn't working, and yours isn't, and it's very confusing and I just feel like it shouldn't be very confusing."
Frisk nodded. "Do, um…? Do you know if dad or Alphys came up with anything yet? S-Sorry, I, um, wasn't really paying attention."
"Weeellll, I think I heard them say that his health rating fell quite a bit," he said. "Maybe it was that?"
"What's he at?" Frisk asked worriedly.
"I want to say around two and a half," Papyrus said cautiously.
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Frisk looked down at Sans and puffed out a sigh. She flopped forward, folding her arms on the blankets and pouting. "Bro, c'mon, what the heck." She couldn't help a grimace. She'd seen that crack the night before it'd happened. She couldn't get it out of her mind. Why hadn't she done something more? Why couldn't she have even thought of something more to do?
Papyrus put his hand on her back. "You must be stiff, I bet. Why don't you take a little walk around?"
"I dunno…" she said quietly.
"If I made you something, would you eat it?" he asked. "Some nice tasty spaghetti?"
"Don't worry about me," she said. "I'm not hungry anyway."
"Nyeh… What about something to drink, would you at least have that?" he asked hopefully.
The kid relented. She nodded and Papyrus grinned with relief. He ruffled her hair gently and hopped upright, leaving her line of sight quickly.
.
Frisk simply slumped farther. She lifted Sans's closest hand in both of hers and gently squeezed him. She hoped for him to squeeze back but, of course, he didn't.
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Papyrus came back with a freshly brewed cup of Asgore's tea, sweetened with honey, and gave it to the kid. She took a cautious sip, but didn't feel well enough to have much more. That didn't make sense, though— it was supposed to make her feel better, wasn't it? She sighed quietly as Papyrus sat down beside her again.
"What do you normally do when you're waiting for him to wake up?" she asked.
"Pick him up and get going with my day," he said with a smile. "Patrol doesn't wait for a lazybones, after all."
.
Frisk forced down another gulp of tea and finally let her eyes drift outside of her five-foot bubble. There was a little table set up farther down the room with some food and drinks on it, and Alphys's fridge and computer from upstairs had been moved nearby. The lizard was half-kneeling on her chair, typing furiously. Toriel was near her, in a chair propped up against the wall, arms folded and chin dropped down onto her chest as she dozed. Asriel lay at her feet, a blanket draped over him, facedown on a book he'd fallen asleep reading. Trudging footsteps announced Undyne who, ear fins drooped and hair disheveled, slumped towards Alphys with a mug of coffee in each hand. She placed one down on the desk, smooched the lizard on the head, and then wandered away and out of sight.
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"Hey, um," Frisk said at a whisper, "h-have you, um, seen dad?"
"Not much," Papyrus said, "but I have to admit, I've been paying a bit more attention to Sans."
"Right…" She sighed. "I just wish I knew what to do. I… I should know, right?"
"Why should you know?" Papyrus asked.
Frisk shrugged weakly. "He's… I mean. I know all about him. Right? And I… I do the time stuff, so…"
"Aw, little sister, relax!" Papyrus said. "If something comes to you, fantastic! If not, that's alright, too. Sans may be an enigma, but we have two great scientists working on him! Plus, Dad's not just a scientist, you know! He's also a proper health doctor! And an engineer! And a librarian! He's really very old, so he had a lot of jobs. And Alphys is so smart and good at soul things, I'm sure it'll be fine!"
Frisk nodded. She chewed her cheek. Her heart thumped uncomfortably. She put her tea aside and slumped back in her spot.
xXxXx
Day two dragged past and no one could get Frisk to budge. She was still awake come the third morning as well, staring at nothing. She was almost as catatonic as her brother was. She didn't even notice the monsters conspiring at the other end of the large room. They'd sent Papyrus out for more coffee grounds. He wasn't much better than Frisk was, though, but at least he was moving around.
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Undyne huddled up with Asriel and Toriel, her face set in a grimace, trying not to let her eye dart off too much towards the kid. "I say we just drag her outta here."
"She's gonna start to sob if you do that," Asriel said.
"So?! Maybe she needs it, y'know?" She growled quietly, ears drooping. "Anyone got a better idea?"
"This must be so hard," Toriel said softly. "When's the last time they were apart for this long?"
"After she had to reset this timeline 'cause I killed everyone," Asriel said bitterly.
"Asriel," his mother chided gently.
"Ah, shit, doesn't make this easier, though, does it?" Undyne grumbled. "Where's Gaster, he got any bright ideas?"
"I haven't seen him," Toriel admitted. "I'm sure he's working very hard."
"Yeah, sure, but one of his kids might just knock herself the hell out," Undyne said, exasperated. "And what about Papyrus?! Has he been eating, at least? Did anyone notice?"
"I saw him cook spaghetti but not actually eat any," Asriel volunteered. "He's drinking, though, which is more than we can say for…" He turned to look back and Frisk and frowned. "Screw it."
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He stormed over the fridge and grabbed a soda and a straw, and then stomped over to her, sitting down heavily on the chair Papyrus had been using. The other monsters leaned in, watching intently.
"Hey," he said sharply.
Frisk didn't move. He grabbed her shoulder tight and shook her. She looked up slowly.
"Oh. Hey," she said, her voice soft. "Sorry. You been there for long?"
"No. Here." He shoved the cool can into her hands, popped the tab, and plunked the straw into it. "Drink that."
"Oh. Um. I'm not really thirsty," she said.
"I don't care," he said. "I really couldn't give less of a damn if you're thirsty or not, you are gonna pass out if you don't put something in your face."
She stared blankly at the soda can and then looked up at him quizzically. "You really think so?"
"Yes."
"Oh." She hesitantly sipped the drink. After a few seconds, she took another.
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The monsters let out a collective sigh of relief. Asriel patted her back reassuringly and then drew her over to smooch the side of her head.
"S'gonna be okay," he said.
"I hope so," she said. She looked around cautiously. "I-Is…? Is dad here?"
"I think he's still working? I dunno," Asriel said. "Why?"
"Oh. Um… Nothing. It's okay," she said.
"…He'd hate this, y'know." He pointed at Sans. "He'd tell you sleep is important."
"I know. I can't," she said. "Head won't let me. Papyrus is the same."
"And you're both nuts," he said. "You can still pull us back, you know."
"He'll still faint," she grumbled. "Gotta wait for… f-for dad. A-And Alphys. We need a plan and then…" She sniffled and her eyes welled up. "I keep thinking for a sec that his hand moves but it's just m-me moving the blankets."
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Asriel frowned deeply. He held her shoulders tight. "Dude, c'mon, you're a mess, you gotta sleep."
"I… I can't. Not while he's…" She ground her fingers into her hair. "I d-don't… I don't know what to do without him, I… I feel like I can't even think."
"You're not helpless," he said. "You lived, what? Ten years without him? Without anyone but yourself and a weird ghost dad that was barely there and you made it. Right?"
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Frisk gulped. She took a deep breath, but the air felt ragged going into her lungs. It hurt. Asriel huffed and he pulled her into his arms.
"I'm sorry," he said.
She gritted her teeth. Her fingers gripped tight into his sweatshirt and she shook her head. "Tell me what to do."
"Go to sleep," he said.
"No, not… I mean…" She hid her face against his shoulder. "He told me to stay here and I… I don't know what I mean."
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Asriel peeked over her and saw Undyne and Toriel watching intently. Their mother, especially, looked shaken and worried. He sighed and kissed Frisk's head.
"Hey. Listen. Okay? You're smart," he said. "Plus you got, like… all of Sans's memories and stuff in you, right? He knows science. And Alph and your dad, they been hiding away for days working and I dunno what the hell is going on. So, I mean, if you need something to do…"
Frisk drew back and looked at him with wide eyes. "I should… do science? I dunno if I'm smart enough for—"
"You are. I mean. Yeah, you don't know, but that's just 'cause you didn't study it or whatever, but Sans did, right?" he insisted.
"But I'm… I m-mean, I can still barely read and I'm just a dumb—"
"You're not dumb," Asriel scolded. "I know I called you an idiot sometimes, but you're actually kinda smart."
Frisk gulped, though her eyes shimmered with hope. "S-So you think I… I could maybe do something?"
Asriel nodded. "The last I heard, they're looking at weird magic around his soul. There's an issue, though, 'cause I heard that besides being super weak, there's not all that much wrong," he said. "But they've been looking at it without sleeping for almost as long as you been here, so they couldda missed something, maybe? It would give you something to do. Don't you think? Because, um, between you and me? They haven't made any headway since yesterday, as far as I can tell, and they need a break as much as you do."
.
Frisk frowned. Did that stuff about Sans even make sense? All words were starting to sound a little like gibberish to her, to be fair. She guessed it wouldn't hurt to take a look. "Y-You'll watch him, right?"
"If you promise to drink that whole can, I'll do literally whatever you want," Asriel said.
Frisk tossed the straw out of her drink and then tipped back the entire thing. She held in a hiccup and chucked the can away. "Thanks a million."
.
She stood up on stiff legs, stared down at Sans with a cool, steady gaze, and wiped her eyes. Asriel was right. But, she wasn't entirely without her brother, was she? And she'd never met someone smarter. All she needed— maybe— was a good memory and quick fingers. Asriel's brow furrowed quizzically.
"You have an idea?" he asked.
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Her fingers were a little shaky, but she pulled out her phone. Alphys had something called the MochiBox up on the app download centre of the UnderNet. It was where she stored backups of all her work applications, and it was locked behind a password. Luckily, Frisk knew that it was MewMewXyQT1, which let her download the SOULSCN app.
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She booted it up and pressed her phone to Sans's chest. After a few seconds, she pulled it back to look and labeled the weak, blue soul in the list after the tutorial Alphys soul with his name. His health rating was exactly where Papyrus had thought. She flinched worriedly. Asriel stood up and peered over her shoulder.
"That's his soul? Is that useful?" he asked.
She nodded. "If I can see what it's like now, I can maybe look back on the computers and see what changed better."
"Uh, but if you're resetting—"
"Don't ask me why, but parts of my phone don't sometimes if I have it with me. I… I think it should be okay?"
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She headed to the computer where she'd seen the recordings of her brother's energy. This didn't actually require much but scrolling backwards through numbers, checking hourly readings. She matched up the numbers with what she saw on SOULSCN and found them identical. She nodded to herself and hurried out of the room.
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Alphys had to have a few dozen computers in the whole of the lab, and some of the ones that weren't focused on Sans had been shoved off into a room that once held only a TV and some VHS tapes, out of the way. It wasn't cramped for Frisk, though, despite the lack of empty floor space. They were all still running— had to be. Their power cables trailed like vines from the room and down the hallway.
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She scooted into the nearest seat and turned the computer's monitor on. There had to be something she could do to fix everything, right?
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It was easy enough to find her way into the recent data. All the computers were connected to each other in a way that made accessing everything really easy. Sans's design, actually, so he didn't have to get up to check other work stations most of the time. She found the data on him that Alphys and Gaster must have been compiling.
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Beside the faded, digital image of a white and blue heart, there was a long list of energy points beside corresponding times. There was nothing changing, nothing even unusual about it. She cycled through panels, but all of them seemed to say the same thing: Sans was exhausted and his health rating was lower than his last health check but, aside from that, nothing was actually wrong with him. She checked what she'd brought on SOULSCN and it was the same. Frisk bit her lip. No wonder Gaster was at a loss. But, then again, that was working on the assumption that her brother was just sick, maybe from what had already happened to him. Frisk still couldn't shake the thought that she was to blame. Maybe it was something to do with the time tears that had to be making him sick?
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She checked through other panels of data, drawing on Sans's memories to guide her. A screen that referenced back to the Dark Model didn't show anything significant that she could see but, then again, it would be easy to miss. Lists of numbers and times and coordinates mapped in algebraic formulas. But, Sans did have a weird connection to time. Maybe there was something related in there somewhere.
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She searched for recent entries and read through them quickly. One stood out instantly because it was the only one that was a flat zero. Selecting it showed, however, it hadn't always been. Backing up, it had been showing numbers regularly for as long as this program had been running, which had to have been years. Frisk didn't know what the numbers meant, exactly, but she did know that it had increased over time. Maybe it was the point she'd closed? The date seemed to line up. Were all these others points that were open?
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She gulped, her chest getting tight. She quickly wiped her eyes and went back to look at more numbers. Sans hadn't worked on this part. His memories were more focused on the predictive timeline division, not these weird readings from some mysterious, untouchable in-between. He knew, though, that the data came from something Gaster had called a NOCTURNE, a key made of determination that was permanently hooked into the CORE. It was able to reach out into the void and gather back information, though it was anchored outside so it didn't fall into the trap of becoming timeless like what happened to almost everything else that went in there. That determination, in fact, had mostly come from within Sans's own bones.
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Frisk tried to find more with a difference until, in the list, she came upon one where the location coordinates were solid, without any placeholder values. Curiously, she checked it out. The data about it was more complete than the first one she'd looked at. In fact, there was a thumbnail of a picture under the the heading of H-008. The picture, blown up, was a greyscale photograph of a tear in time somewhere along a tiny sliver of rock overlooking the flowing magma below.
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Frisk nodded to herself. She was starting to get the picture. She sorted by time. There were a lot that were recent. Small. Benign numbers. Except two months ago. A number connected to something unseen was a monolith compared to the rest. Frisk gulped heavily. She wrote the date and number in her phone and kept looking for more.
xXxXx
When Papyrus returned with the coffee, Undyne immediately set to brewing some for everyone. The skeleton was pulled away by a warm, comforting hug from his mother and he allowed himself a very, very quick moment to rest in her arms before turning back to Sans.
.
Asriel was beside the bed, playing around on his phone while keeping one eye on the unconscious skeleton, but Frisk was gone. Papyrus worriedly straightened up and stiffened, like a dog trying to catch a scent. Sans was safe with their brother, he was sure, but Frisk… He headed out into the halls to look for her. It didn't take long.
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At her computer spot inside the small room, the kid looked rather determined as she read through screens of stuff. Curiously, Papyrus snuck in beside her.
"Sister, what are you up to?" he asked.
"Research I think?" she said tepidly. "Um. Yeah, just… I, um… Y'know, I still have his memories, so I kinda know my way around. Trying to see if anything makes sense to me."
"Oh! Does it?" he asked.
"Maybe? Um. I think… I think something that happened with the time tears is maybe what made Sans sick," she said.
"Nyeh!? What, like an allergy?" Papyrus asked. "Was he allergic to time stuff this whole time?!"
"No. I mean. I don't know." She put her head in her hands. "It's just like… he started going down a few months ago, right? And… And there's a big time burst around the same time, so maybe it's related? A-And… I dunno… C-Can, um…? C-Could I maybe have a hug?"
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Papyrus gladly scooped her into his arms. She slumped against him, breathing out a heavy sigh and clinging close.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Please stop saying that," he said. "It makes it sound like you still think this is your fault. Which it isn't. And you know that. Right?"
Frisk gritted her teeth. Her soul stuttered— getting it to glow was an effort. His fingers tingled with the warmth of his magic and she felt a little better. Didn't change her mind, though.
.
"W-Will you do me a small favour?" she asked.
"Anything!" he assured her.
"When you go back with Sans, can you try healing him again? I know it probably won't wake him up, but I wanna see if any of the numbers switch."
"Oh! Yes, alright! I can go do that now, if you like?" His brow furrowed. "Though… Nyeh! I wish all this was in the other room! I don't want to leave either of you."
"I know," she said with a tired laugh. "Don't worry about me. Go sit with him for a bit, I'll be back, like, soonish. I just need a bit of quiet, I guess."
"I see, I see. Okay! That's no problem at all for the great Papyrus!" he said brightly. He bumped his brow on hers before gently plunking her back into her seat. "I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Me too," she said.
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Papyrus ran into Alphys on the way back to the big room. She walked like a zombie, supporting her weight against the wall with one hand while rubbing her eyes under her glasses with the other.
"Hello, Doctor!" he said, scooping her up.
She squeaked with surprise. "P-P-Papyrus?!"
"Sorry to startle you! You just looked so tired. Let me get you off your feet," he said. "Where are you headed?"
"The, um… Where S-Sans is," she said.
"Oh, what a nice coincidence, me too!" he said, carrying her along with him.
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She looked up at him with big eyes. "Y-You, um… You seem t-to be in high spirits."
"You're all working very hard," he said. "I'm sure, between the three of you and your weird science, you'll cure Sans very soon."
"Th-Three…? Uh." She squeaked when the skeleton kicked in the door to the large room, and swiftly found herself plopped into a chair. She hadn't been truly off her feet in— she wasn't sure, actually. She slumped, deflating as a sigh wheezed out of her.
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Undyne greeted them, bending to quickly give Alphys a smooch before straightening up to pat Papyrus on the shoulder. "How you guys holdin' up? Alph, jeez, have you slept?"
"M-Maybe a few minutes here and there," she said sheepishly. "What about you, Papyrus?"
"Nope! Not a wink!" he said. "I…! Well. I just can't, really. It's alright. I tried to make Frisk sleep, too, but she takes after me in this way, I think. Not that I blame her, really."
"Yeah, she's just as stubborn," Undyne said.
"I prefer persistent and determined," he said.
"Don't melt," Undyne joked.
"As if I would ever!" Papyrus said.
"Honestly, I don't mean to sound judgy or whatever," she said, crossing her arms, "but the way you skeletons and the kid function— how you're all so crazy attached to each other— I'm startin' to get more worried about you and her than Sans. At least he gets a nap outta it."
"And th-there's the literal soulbonding thing, t-too, that doesn't make it easier," Alphys mumbled.
"The what?" Papyrus asked curiously.
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Alphys looked back at him quizzically for a moment before a lightbulb went off in her head. "Oh! R-Right, um, sorry, Papyrus, I keep forgetting you w-were just a little kid when we did all those tests on you and Sans," she said. "B-Because of the way, um, y-your dad made you? Y-You, especially, really. B-But you and Sans— I mean, I'm sure you know— but y-you have an extrasensory awareness of each other's souls, right?"
"Is it not like that for all siblings?" he asked, wide-eyed.
"N-Not really. You and Sans are pretty, um, unique," she said. "Frisk… d-doesn't have that, as far as we know, but—"
"Oh! I think she does," Papyrus said. "And Asriel, too. They can feel when something's wrong with Sans, at least, and Frisk can pull him out of bad dreams like I can. I… Hm. Don't know if they have it with me, exactly…" He cupped his hand over his soul spot and looked troubled for a moment before a big, bashful grin spread over his face. "Oh! Nyeh heh heh! Because I haven't been sick or in trouble since I met either of them, actually!"
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He leaned around Undyne to look across the room to where Asriel was: still sitting with Sans, asleep with his head on his arms. Undyne turned to follow his gaze and smiled faintly.
"At least someone's getting some rest," she said. "You guys are really spooking your mom, you know that?"
"I can imagine," Papyrus said apologetically. "Is she…? Oh! I don't see her here."
"She went to get more comfy stuff. Think she might try forcing Frisk to lie down for a bit. Might be a good idea?" She shrugged wide.
"I guess… e-everyone's trying t-to help, in their own ways," Alphys said softly. "It's hard to just sit around when stuff like this is g-going on. But s-sometimes that's all there is to do."
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Papyrus looked thoughtful. He darted over to the bed and put his hand on Asriel to lift him, but the boy's pale green eyes cracked open instead. He shot Papyrus a groggy smile.
"Oh! Sorry, I was just going to put you somewhere more comfy!" the skeleton said.
"That's alright." He leaned back and stretched. "No dreams."
"Huh?" Undyne said blankly.
"These other dorks can't sleep," Asriel rubbed his eyes. "Can't check Sans's dreams. I can."
"Oh! That's a fantastic idea!" Papyrus said eagerly. "What did you find?!"
"Nothing. He's not dreaming," Asriel said. "Which is… good and bad."
"Is it?!" the skeleton demanded.
"Well. Yeah." The boy scratched his head. "If he were, we could talk to him. But it'd also mean he was stuck all in his head. He's not, so he's not gonna be hurting at all, but…" He folded his arms and leaned back in his seat. "It's a lot like what happened to Frisk. You know, in the CORE."
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Alphys put her face in her hands and groaned. Undyne looked back at her worriedly.
"So… I mean. Have you guys figured anything out?" she asked.
"K-Kind of? It's…" She sighed. "It's complicated."
Papyrus looked at her hopefully, but when she volunteered nothing more, he wilted. Undyne's ears drooped and she growled to herself. She opened her arms.
"Hey! C'mere and give your big sister a hug, you dork," she ordered.
Papyrus gladly obliged and she crushed him to her chest. The tall skeleton still looked small beside her, more so as he wilted against her. She rubbed the top of his skull and pouted, frustrated.
"I gotcha, man," she said. "We'll get this."
"Thanks," he said quietly. Swiftly, he perked up, eyes wide, and he spun back towards Sans. "Ah! Hang on! I told Frisk I'd test something for her!"
.
He dashed back to his brother and sat down, putting his hands against his chest. His hands and eyes lit up with amber as he focussed a bright, warm healing through Sans's bones. The others watched him curiously. Alphys sat up, checking her phone. She looked between the skeleton and her screen with a little light sparking in her eyes.
"O-Oh… Ooh. Can you k-keep that up for a little?" Alphys asked.
"Absolutely I can," he said.
The lizard stumbled to her feet, nodding, and then, eyes still locked on her phone, rushed out of the room. Undyne followed her.
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"Didn't we already try that?" Asriel asked.
"Yes, but Frisk said she might find something if I do this," he said. "So! That's just what I'll do!"
Asriel sighed. He got up and paced, only deviating from his track when Gaster stormed in with a cold look on his face. The boy bristled and ducked out of the way. None of them had seen the skeleton in over a day and he didn't look particularly eager to engage. His sleeves were rolled up and there was marker all over his arm bones.
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When he got closer to Sans and Papyrus, though, he slowed. His expression softened. He sat on the extra chair at the foot of the bed and folded his hands. "Doing alright?" he asked.
"Oh! You know. All things considered," Papyrus said. "Not exactly, um, as great as I would like."
Gaster nodded. He stood again and circled the bed, eyes fixed on Sans. He patted Papyrus reassuringly on the shoulder. "He'll be fine."
"I know! Eventually he will," Papyrus said quickly, nodding. "How are you doing?"
"Don't concern yourself with me," Gaster said.
"Oh." Papyrus sounded a little disappointed. "Well. Why don't you go see Frisk?"
"Hm?" Gaster looked baffled. His eyes darted around the room. "…She's not here."
"Well, obviously not," he said. "She's trying to figure out some science stuff with Sans's memories. She's in one of the computer rooms."
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The old skeleton felt a chill through his bones. He got to his feet and then froze, unsure of where to even begin looking. Papyrus levelled a finger at the nearest hallway. Gaster hurried off.
.
He found Frisk farther down into the lab, hunched over a computer desk that made her look tiny. She rested her head in her hands. Gaster slid up a chair and snuck in beside her. He put a hand on her shoulder. She jolted and looked up, her eyes sunken in and her cheeks darkened with a tint of red.
"Oh. H-Hey." She wiped her eyes quickly on her sleeve. "What's, umm…? What's up?"
"How are you holding up?" he asked.
The kid bit her lip, her mouth forming an F sound for just an instant before her gaze dropped to the table. She grimaced. "Pretty bad, honestly. I keep trying to follow his trail but I j-just keep getting lost. I miss him so much I'm…" She shook her head. "Sorry. P-Pretty dumb, huh?"
"It's not dumb," he said quietly.
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Frisk puffed out a sigh and clasped her hands together, her eyes fixed firmly on the floor that her feet didn't even touch from where she sat. "You had a plan for me, right? I goofed up, I guess."
"What? Kiddo, what do you mean by plan, exactly?"
"When you were guiding me around and stuff. Getting me those powers and everything. You had a plan, right?" She looked up at him with big eyes. "What do I do? What were you doing? What was the plan, 'cause… 'cause I'm super lost."
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Gaster pressed the heel of his hand to his brow. "You may not want to hear this. But there was no plan. Not really." He folded his arms to his chest. "You wanted to be stronger, to protect the others, didn't you? All I was trying to do was lead you towards was your potential."
"That's…? That's it?" Her voice warbled. "But g-giving me those powers—"
"I gave you nothing except the shield," he said. "Everything else was yours. I just accelerated its development."
"B-But it just seemed so much like you were… leading me somewhere? Guiding me to something? There wasn't anything?" she asked shrilly.
.
Gaster flinched. It took him a moment to vocalize anything at all. His soul's sound grated too loudly and he put his hand against his chest. "It was fully a selfish endeavour."
"What?" Frisk asked blankly.
"Your strength allowed you to keep fragments of me," he said. "In turn, I began to remember myself. And all I wanted was to cling to your power and be dragged out of the void. I… couldn't help myself. I'm so sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" She looked baffled. "Jeez, dad, I… Dang… I thought… I thought maybe there was something else you wanted me to do. Something else I was missing. I dunno." She clenched her fingers and ran them over her thumbs, a little shimmer of red magic tingling under her skin. "Did you know I would be like this?"
"Not exactly," he said.
"Sorry I'm such a—"
"Frisk, stop." Gaster held both her hands, pulling her attention onto him. He gently held her cheek. "You've done nothing wrong. You haven't missed a beat."
"But Sans is—"
"Sans will be fine," he assured her. "It will take a lot of work. And maybe… Maybe more time than we'd like. But I will fix him. Alphys and I can figure it out. I'm certain of it."
"So…" She sniffled. "So you don't hate me?"
Gaster stared at her blankly. "What?" His voice came out like a creak. "Why would you say that?"
"I-It's just… I… I know it's my fault he's like this and… a-and I dunno, I just… I know he's like, your first kid and he's also kinda gotta be one of your best friends, right? A-And I didn't see you for a few days and I thought maybe if I could just fix—"
.
Gaster yanked the kid right off her seat and into his arms, holding her as close as he could; glowing as bright as his discordant soul would allow. He sighed and his face fell as he looked down at her. He brushed her hair from her face with cool, gentle fingertips. "It's nothing you did or didn't do, sweetheart. I swear to you. You fixed what was wrong."
"Th-Then why so soon after, did he just—?"
"It could be any number of things. But that is not one of them," he said.
He sighed. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."
"N-No it's not," she said shrilly.
He shook his head. "I… neglected you for days."
"F-Finding out how to help Sans is more important than I am," she said, wide-eyed.
Gaster shook his head again, grimacing. He cupped her face. "You are so young. This is far too much. I should have been there for you. I'm sorry."
.
It would have been a lie to say Frisk didn't appreciate his words, or when he hugged her again. That didn't matter, though. Her brother was still unconscious. She clung to him and sighed.
"I'm sorry, too," she said.
"Why?" he asked.
"…I couldda come to see you," she muttered. "I thought I should stay outta your way. Sorry."
"You take on too much responsibility," he said gently.
"I have to, I'm a time god." She said it in jest, but the words were heavy.
"That may be. But you're not alone in this world." Gaster stroked her hair. "It will be alright. Can I ask something of you?"
"Yeah," she said.
"Take a little time for yourself," he said. He smiled at her when she looked up at him skeptically. "And I am already aware that I am a massive hypocrite."
"As long as you know," she joked.
He grinned fondly and bumped his brow on hers. "Love you, kiddo. Always. Alright?"
"Th-Thanks," she squeaked.
.
Gaster cuddled her a little longer before reluctantly getting back to work, leaving her alone with her computers. She could see Alphys making notes about the lack of significant fluctuations due to Papyrus's magic in one of the windows she had open. She sighed. Maybe she did need a little break.
.
She delved down farther into the lab, into that room that had been built for her. It was dark, and she didn't know where the lights were. She sat in the glow of her cellphone, listening to a CD that used to belong to Undyne under the big earphones that, somehow, made her feel cozy, even though all she could do was replay endless numbers in her mind.
.
Two disks later, she almost missed her phone ringing through the music. She picked it up and mumbled a greeting.
"Frisk?! Oh, thank goodness," Toriel said. "Where are you?!"
"Um. Downstairs, why?" she asked.
"D…? Oh. What a relief…" She took a deep breath. "You should come back here this instant."
"Nah," Frisk said.
"Nah? Young lady, you cannot keep going like this. I forbid it," Toriel said. "I'm coming to get you." She sighed softly. "Sweetheart. I'm worried about you."
"I know. Sorry," Frisk said.
"Why don't you wish to come back upstairs?" she asked.
"I dunno. It's… dark down here," she said. "I just need to think."
"…I'm coming," Toriel said.
.
Frisk didn't have to wait long for her mother to sniff her out. The huge monster slipped into the room and sat down by the kid's side, putting her hand on her head to gently rub her hair. Frisk wilted and slid in closer. Even now, she still smelled a little like cinnamon.
.
"What is this place?" she wondered.
"Training room," Frisk said, shrugging. "It's quiet."
"Why don't you come get some dinner?" Toriel suggested softly.
"Not hungry," Frisk said.
Toriel grimaced. "Even so, you should keep up your strength."
"I'm okay."
The woman frowned. She folded her arms. "Your brother is going to be fine, you know."
"He better be," she joked weakly. "I'm a mess." She leaned her head back with tired resignation all over her face. "I screwed up. I… I shouldda stopped this."
.
Toriel sighed and put her arm warmly around the kid. "Did you consider going to the Wishing Rooms? To speak with the Echo Flowers?"
She looked up at her, puzzled. "No, not really. Why? Do you think it would help?"
"It's just, sometimes, it can help your psyche to… unload. Ask the universe for help. Even if it's just through a flower that repeats phrases. To take some of that weight off and cast it to something outside yourself."
"…Outside myself?" Frisk folded her arms. She'd never spoken a wish into an Echo Flower before. No, she'd only ever pretended to pass that weight into her brother's skull with a bonk of her forehead. "I just… talked with Sans, mostly."
Toriel's face fell. "Oh, honey…"
Frisk gulped. "But… I've heard some stuff other people have said there. Did you ever go there?"
Toriel chuckled. "Not in a very long time. Though, the flowers down where you came to us were good listeners as well. And long, long before that, we would wish on the stars, or the sun." She pulled her a little closer. "You know, our Delta Rune used to be more than a symbol of the Royal Family, and of prophecy. The earliest form had no wings and represented the sun. It was supposed to help us through hard times. Monsters would speak to it, and give it a name. We laid our strongest hopes on it."
"And was that helpful?" Frisk asked.
"It was, in a way," she said. "You know the prophecy of the Delta Rune, do you not?"
"About the angel of… uh… salvation or death and all that stuff? Yeah," she said.
"Putting our faith in that as well… I think it may have saved many monsters, if only by giving them something to cling to, after we were torn away from the sun," Toriel said.
"And that part actually happened, so that's good," Frisk said.
Toriel shot her a confused look. Frisk shrugged.
"Asriel," she said. "It was him. The guy that saves stuff. I mean, he had big wings and everything. His super determination body with all the souls in him basically looked just like it in shapes and stuff. He did a really good job even though he freaked the heck out."
.
Toriel stared at her silently for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. She put her paws to her face and grinned wide, her fangs showing. She shook her head and took a deep breath. "Goodness, I hadn't put that together."
"Oh! Sorry," Frisk said. "I guess you missed that part."
"It's alright." She smiled at her fondly. "Sweetheart. I guess what I'm saying is… What am I saying?" She rubbed her brows. "I know you. I know you don't want to lay whatever burdens you onto us. If you are this… time god, as Sans would say? Even still, venting to something beyond your own scope, perhaps that may help you? Even if… Even if it's just talking into a void. Does that make sense? It could even be something as simple as your diary. But, I know you're fond of those Wishing Rooms, so perhaps… If you want, later we could go there? If you wish for a short change of scenery."
.
Frisk considered it. Beyond her own scope? Something outside of herself? Talking into the void? She retraced her steps in her mind, seeing that endless expanse of stars. Would just shouting out there do it? No, probably not, but her mind set to wandering. Sans was linked to it, too. For a second, she wondered if that was a way to reach him. Abruptly, all the numbers she'd looked at, tracking those stars, matching the times to them, clunked heavily into place. Her eyes went wide. "Oh dang."
"Hm?" Toriel asked.
She jumped to her feet and wrapped her mom in a tight hug. "Thanks! That's perfect!"
"Uh, honey…?" Toriel held her gently. "What is?"
"Outside! It's… Not that. I mean. Yeah. Thanks. Venting is good, but…! It's gotta be outside," she said in a hurry. "I got it. I gotta go back in time."
"What? I… I'm not sure I follow. To when?"
"To before Sans breaks his face open," Frisk said. "I'm gonna go tell dad! See you back home!"
.
Frisk booked it back upstairs. She just wanted to check once more. Papyrus was in the main room, plucking up empty cans to put in a trash bag, and humming quietly to himself. He perked up upon seeing the kid and rushed over. He brushed a hand through her bangs and then cupped her face, lighting warm, amber magic against her skin.
"You look SO tired," he said.
"I'm gonna go back soon," she said.
"Hm? Back where?" He tilted his head.
"To before he fainted," she said. "Just thought you should know."
"Nyeh! Okay! When, do you know?" he asked.
.
Frisk pointed up at the counter. Papyrus helped her up and she immediately honed in on the computer, skimming through screens of data with quick, sharp eyes.
"So. Um. Little sister?" Papyrus said.
"Hm?" She tilted her head towards him.
He pressed his fingertips together. "When are you going back? Now?"
"In a few minutes," she said. "Are you busy? Could you tell the others? I'm gonna tell dad."
"Oh! Sure, no trouble at all for the great Papyrus," he assured her swiftly. "But. Frisk. You will take a rest, won't you?"
"Oh. Um. Yeah, of course," she said. "See you back home?"
"Mmmhm!" He slung his trash bag over his shoulder and stuck his thumb up. "Just give me a few minutes and we will be good to go!"
.
As he left, Frisk turned back to the computer. She read numbers again quickly, just to be sure. Sans wasn't changing at all. What was changing were those points representing tears in time. Some had to be out there, right? In the void. Beyond their scope. She didn't know why she hadn't seen it.
.
She raced from the room to find her father. He had collapsed onto the table he was working at in the eastern wing of the lab, surrounded by notes in unreadable script and a battered old laptop connected to a big machine with cables that almost touched the ground. She felt bad having to wake him.
"Dad?" She shook his shoulder gently until his dark eyes opened a sliver. "Hey. Um. So, I'm going back now, okay?"
"Hm? Alright. I'll meet you back home eventually," he said groggily.
"Um. Not home," she said apologetically. "Back in time."
.
Suddenly, Gaster looked considerably more conscious. He said up and looked at her with worry all over his face. "What? But I have so much more work to do, so much to memorize, I—"
"Dad, the readings haven't moved at all since the first one you guys did on him," she said. "We were looking in the wrong spot. Whatever's wrong isn't inside him. I wanna go back; ask him how he feels. If I catch him, at least he won't have broken his skull open. And you're exhausted, how are you even gonna work more like this?"
Gaster gritted his teeth. "I… suppose I can't stop you."
"Do you want to stop me?" she asked, tilting her head.
The skeleton opened his mouth, but then reconsidered. He rubbed his palm over the back of his skull. His eyes darted back towards the doorway. He let out a low, tired sigh. "I suppose I don't."
.
She reached out and grabbed his hand in both of hers. "I'm gonna figure it out."
"It's not up to you to," he said.
Her brow furrowed. "I can't just leave it alone. Sorry."
Gaster cracked a tired, fond smile. He lifted her into his arms and sat her on his knee. "We are very stubborn in this family, aren't we?" His expression faltered. "I… don't suppose… it will be particularly unpleasant to go back?"
"W…? Oh! Right, you've never done it. Don't worry," she said. "Actually, you might even feel better since you won't have not slept for a few days." She smiled sideways. "I'm, um, actually really good at this, it's super smooth as long as you aren't in the middle of moving."
"Fair enough." There was a glint in his eyes when he looked at her and he dipped his head. "Whenever you're ready. Shall I… stay here? Afterwards, I mean."
"Mom'll bring Sans back," she said. "I wanna check something out first. Can you have those notes on the time tear things open? Those shouldn't have changed at all, right, since they're mostly outside?"
"Oh. Of course," he said. "…You have a plan?"
"Maybe." She kissed his cheek. "Okay! Let's go?" She pulled out her phone and texted everyone as she said it. "Ready? Three, two, one."
.
The clock wound back instantly. They stood in the largest room of the lab, where Frisk had locked the timeline days ago. It had been right before a blood test that her father had wanted to do. Gaster blinked. He looked at his hands. Some of the shaking had subsided. Or, more accurately, hadn't occurred yet. He looked down at her with wide eyes.
.
Frisk smiled up at him sympathetically. She gave him a quick hug and then reached for the light. "I'm gonna figure this out," she said.
.
The kid thumped unceremoniously into the attic and then barrelled down the stairs. Though she was sure her mom called something after her, she didn't stop to listen.
.
There was no one out front, but footprints in the snow hinted at a short skeleton that had ambled away recently. Frisk booked it down main street, but a bit of blue flashed in her mind's eye. Behind her. She whirled and sprinted back to the house, where her brother's blue jacket stood out even from far away. He was near the mailbox.
.
Frisk felt a hit of relief, shock, and heartbreak all at once. Her throat went tight and her breath snagged. Her heart was pounding. It didn't take much to catch up with him.
.
"Sans?!" She grabbed him tightly by the arm.
Her brother turned and shot her a tired smile. He smelled toasty, somehow. "Hey, kiddo. What's the rush?" He looked so normal.
"You don't remember? No, no, of course you…" She took a deep breath. "D-Don't panic. Um. You're gonna faint."
"Maybe don't panic yourself." His brow furrowed, more with concern than anything. "What happened?"
"You're not gonna remember; you fainted and… And. I th-think you went into a coma," she said, her voice cracking. "We couldn't get you up. I tried to reverse you and you j-just passed out again and… And it's not good."
"Oh. That's… soon, then?" he said. "Welp. Guess that kinda explains a lot. Hey." He poked her in the middle of her forehead. "Jeez, kid, don't cry about that."
"B-But Sans—!"
"Look. It's okay. Don't worry," he said. "S'good thing you told me, actually. Probably hit my head last time, huh?"
"Yeah, it c-cracked open and everything," she said softly.
He snorted and laughed, and rubbed the back of his head. "Figures." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Ah. Yeah. Feelin' a little dizzy, actually. Okay. Guess I'll lie down."
"Okay, b-but… But. I… I'm gonna save you," she said. "I'm gonna fix you."
"Course you will." He shot her a grin.
.
Her eyes welled up and she wrapped her arms around him, her voice breaking and chest getting tight. "I missed you so much. I… I don't know when I'll see you again," she whimpered.
"Aw, jeez, kiddo." He rubbed her head gently. "Knowin' you, it'll be soon. Hey. You can drag me back a little if you really gotta, okay? But you'll figure it out."
"I love you," she said.
"I know. Love you, too." His voice was getting a little low. "How… uh… How many days—?"
"J-Just, um… Just three so far," she said. "It feels like forever."
"Hah. Spooked me for a second there," he said. "Hey, I slept more than that only havin' a cold, okay? Chill out a bit. " He chuckled. "Okay. Yeah. Vision's startin' to go. Can't see this goin' well. Heh."
"D-Do you have any idea what's wrong with you, though?" she insisted. "How do you feel?"
"Like there's, uh… a pressure. In my skull, I guess." He shrugged. "Sorry I can't be more help, kiddo." He tilted his head. "You gonna be alright?"
"Me?! What about you?!" she yelped.
"Welp. I'm in good hands. Not really worried." He raised his brows. "Take care of yourself, hm?"
"Ah… I… O-Okay. I'll t-try," she said.
He grinned. "Okay. I'll be in bed. Hey. See you when I see you." He pulled back just enough to gently bump his brow on hers, stuck his thumbs up, and then he was gone.