Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

"After Amok Time"

By Blueshift14

A/N: For context, the following takes place shortly after the TOS episode "Amok Time", aka the pon farr episode where Kirk faked his own death.

"Captain, you seem irritated."

Kirk turned to glare at Spock, the Vulcan as unperturbed as could be. The captain had had a rough week; his showers suddenly turning ice cold mid-way, his food replicators making half-cooked meals, his quarters turning up the heat in his sleep so he woke up sweaty, even the doors shutting as soon as they opened up for him. And every time he brought this up to Enterprise, she'd only respond with a curt "I'll get to it, Captain," and the process would simply repeat itself.

"...I'm fine, Spock," Kirk finally made out, and sat down in the captain's chair only to discover its seat heater was set to maximum.

"GAH!" Kirk stood straight up, grateful that his uniform pants were thicker than they looked. "That's it! Everyone, off the bridge! I need to talk to Enterprise alone."

The crew dutifully followed, shuffling out without so much as a peep for the fear of earning the captain's wrath. As the final bridge member left, Enterprise's holographic self seemingly popped into existence next to the captain's chair, her arms folded, and her white hair styled in a beehive giving her judgmental expression almost a halo effect, as if she were a vengeful deity. Well, she wouldn't have been the first one Kirk railed against.

"Is there a problem, Captain?" Enterprise asked coolly.

"You tell me," Kirk said as he approached her. "I'd like to know exactly what I've done to deserve such treatment."

"Well, Captain, I should hardly think simple inconveniences could trouble you," Enterprise responded with her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Seeing as you managed to survive the icy jaws of death unscathed-"

"This again?" Kirk shook his head as he gave a contemptuous smirk. "As I've said before, put it on Bones, he was the one that injected me with that paralysis agent-"

"Doctor McCoy has already apologized," Enterprise interrupted as she put her hands on her hips, stepping forward. "Unprompted, might I add, which I appreciated, especially considering I would have appreciated my captain apologizing-"

"Apologize for what?" Kirk barked out, stepping forward as well. "For coming out of an outcome where I might have been forced to kill my First Officer with both of us unscathed?"

"For putting your crew and your ship in a distressing situation!" Enterprise barked right back, getting right into Kirk's unflinching face.

"Being put in a distressing situation is hardly new to us-"

"But seeing your captain die is!"

"You know, I really have to give credit to Federation scientists, they've somehow managed to duplicate female hysteria perfectly!"

"Oh! Well, you can rest assured, male stupidity and arrogance are unquantifiable for simulation!"

"I'm not so sure 'arrogance' can be ruled out; you've certainly gotten the pettiness down perfectly in your programming!

"At least my programming is still functioning, the organic meatloaf you call a brain has clearly been malfunctioning for Maker knows how long!"

"Well, maybe Scotty should double check that programming of yours, I can't see why you would be so upset from something as simple as-"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

Kirk finally took a step back, taken completely aback by Enterprise's sudden scream. She barely noticed, furious tears forming in her eyes. "My sensors were detecting your vitals the whole time! I do it every time you go on an away mission! I can't put it in words, I - I felt you die! I couldn't even manifest in any of the holo-tanks, I was so- I couldn't- I couldn't process it, all I could think was what was going to happen next, I - I've seen ships that lose their captain while they could do nothing to stop it, they - they just - just - and then you, you just - got up! And you acted like you always do, like nothing you did mattered to anyone, like nothing could hurt you, like nothing even happened!"

Enterprise gasped and collected herself, her tears flowing freely now. "And you just did what you always did - move on to the next day and pretended that the latest daring mission was just another day in the life of James T. Kirk and never thought that the rest of us still had to go through all that - as if I couldn't feel!"

Kirk took a moment to let Enterprise further collect herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. "...I've never seen you cry before."

Enterprise gave a rueful laugh, her voice still hoarse from her screaming. "Those Federation scientists still impress you? Programming a machine to cry?"

"No," Kirk said, without a trace of humor in his voice. "I mean you're the bravest person I've ever known.:

Kirk stepped forward. "I've seen you weather solar storms, endure photonic torpedoes, become consumed by alien entities, face against beings unimaginable to the human mind and endure pain in ways I could never take - and you've never let it break you. No matter the cost to yourself, you've stared death itself in the eye and never wavered, never blinked. All in the name of protecting your crew and in the name of our mission of peace. When we're in danger, whenever I feel like it's over and we might die, I look at your face on my viewscreen, see how confident you are - you give me strength, Enterprise. And if I've somehow managed to hurt you where everything else in the universe failed - then I can never apologize enough. I can't even ask for your forgiveness. I can only ask that we can somehow remain friends after this."

Enterprise blinked away tears of a very different kind, staring into Kirk's eyes in a way she never dared to before. "Jim... I... I-"

Suddenly, Enterprise's holographic form wavered, then disappeared entirely. The small screen on the arm of the captain's chair next to him flipped open, Enterprise's face there as always. "I- I'm sorry, Captain. The holo-projector malfunctioned again - it's still a new technology, manifesting outside of the holo-tank. Glitches still happen... to computers."

Kirk gave a slow nod. "I see. I'll just... call Scotty in here. Get it checked out and get it working again. I... value seeing you here on the bridge with me."

Enterprise nodded, her eyes avoiding meeting his own. "Thank you, Captain. I... value it as well."

Short but sweet.