11

Edward didn't know what came over him. One minute he was sitting with her face between his hands, the urge to kiss her overwhelmed him, but was it the right move to make? Was he taking advantage of her? She was new to this life, confused and anxious. Was it selfish of him to want her like that?

Edward walked out of the house, taking an unneeded breath as he closed his eyes. He was going insane, clinically insane. In all his hundred years he had never found himself losing his mind like he was with her. She intrigued him, but was it just because he couldn't read her mind? No, no, he refused to believe that. He was drawn to her for another reason, wasn't he? They were connected emotionally, spiritually.

"Edward?"

His eyes snapped open and he turned around, finding her standing in the doorway. He couldn't stop himself from pulling her against him, causing her to gasp. He pressed her against the side of the house, his eyes shifting between hers and her lips.

"Bella," he whispered. "I . . . I . . ."

"Kiss me," she murmured.

That was all he needed to hear before he pressed his lips against hers. The moment their lips touched, the most amazing sensation spread throughout his entire body. Every inch of his body tingled, and he did mean every inch of him. His hands moved to her hips, and he pressed himself against her. Bella groaned into his mouth, which did nothing to curb his self-control. The urge to take her, right then, right there was overwhelming. He craved her body, but mostly, he craved her. In any way he could get her.

"What are you doing to me, Bella?" he whispered, tearing his lips from hers. He leaned his forehead against hers. Had he been human, he might have cried with how he felt. He'd never felt so emotional before, yet it confused him.

"I was kind of wondering the same thing," she replied, smiling. "Why are you so important to me, Edward? Why?"

"I don't know," he admitted, and though it took all of his self-control, he pulled him out of her arms, just needing the space to think clearly. She had him second guessing everything, and nothing at all. "I don't know, Bella. I just. . . I need you."

"I need you, too."

But before they could finish baring their feelings, he heard the others running back to the house. "We can talk more later."

Bella tilted her head to the side, a look of confusion in her eyes, but nodded. "Yeah, later."

And without another word, she turned and walked back into the house, closing the door behind him. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself before they got close enough to know that something was different with him.

"Edward."

He opened his eyes, unsurprised to find Jasper about thirty yards away.

"Edward, everything all right?"

Edward swallowed against the lump that had crept up his throat and shook his head. "Where's Alice?"

"She's coming," he replied, tilting his head to the side. "Emmett and Rosalie wanted to stay out for a while longer. Carlisle and Esme were going to head into town. Check out some real estate, in case we decided to stay here." Jasper's eyes flickered to the door. "Where's Bella?"

Edward motioned for the house. "I, um, I need to . . . I don't know. Run?"

"I'll go with you," he suggested, and before Edward could argue, he put his hand up. "Alice is close. She can keep her eye on Bella, and you need to run."

Edward simply nodded and the two took off North, heading deeper into the mountains. He couldn't understand what he felt. The need to be near her. To be the only one who was near her. It wasn't a possessive, or maybe he was possessive of her, but he felt this connection to her, the need to be as close to her as he could. But could he? Could he when she was so new to this life? He didn't want her to think she owed him anything because he'd saved her life, saved her when she was only moments away from death.

"Man, you're just dense as shit, aren't you?" Jasper stopped, grabbing Edward's shoulder before he could keep going. "You're in love with her."

"I don't even know her."

Jasper laughed. "Doesn't mean you're not in love with her."

Edward pressed his lips tighter.

"Wow, you really are dense, aren't you, brother?"

"How so?" he asked.

Jasper grinned. "She's your mate, idiot. I can feel the connection between the two of you. Or just you, seeing as she's blocking me from feeling anything she's got going on inside, but I see the way she looks at you, even before she was changed. Why else would you have been so willing to change her? You of all people!"

"What do you mean 'me of all people'?"

Jasper scoffed, folding his arms in front of him. "Next to Rosalie, you've always been the most stubborn, obstinate about protecting our secrets from the humans. Yet, you fought for her, Edward. Alice told me, you know?"

"Told you what?"

Jasper grinned. "How you climbed out of the car and just stared at her? The minute you saw her, you knew, didn't you? You knew you had to save her."

"I did," he admitted. "I can't even explain it, Jasper. I . . . I just . . . she looked right at me and smiled and . . ." Edward shook his head as he turned away. "It was like she saw Edward, the man. Not . . . not the monster."

"And why do you think that is, Edward?"

He looked back at Jasper. "Was that what it was like with Alice?"

Jasper shrugged. "Kind of. Neither of us were human, so I can't speak to that aspect of your bond, but when I saw her, I knew. After all the Hell I went through with Maria . . ." Jasper pressed his lips together. "She saw the real me, I guess, and loved me anyway."

Edward knew his time before he and Alice found them wasn't something he liked to talk about. "What if . . . what if she never loves me back? Three days without being able to talk to her was . . . was unbearable. I mean, she's literally been one of us for like ten hours."

Jasper shook his head. "No, that girl has been one of us for a long time. Just had to wait until everything lined up just right."

"I've never needed anyone like this before. It . . . it scares me."

"That's called love, brother," Jasper said, placing his hands on Edward's shoulders. "You've been the odd man out for a long time, Edward. Too long. Don't let fear keep you from finding the love you deserve."

Jasper released his shoulders before he turned and headed back toward the house. Edward shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around. Was Jasper right? Was he in love with Bella? Could he really love her when he'd only just met her? And if he did, would she ever love him back?

—Stay—

Bella wasn't sure what had happened. First Edward walked out on her. Then, when she followed, he pressed her against the side of the house, pressing his body against hers. And she did mean his entire body. She'd never felt a boy pressed against her like that before, and she liked it. She liked it because it was Edward. But why did she like that it was him?

"Bella," Alice called out, and when she looked toward the door to the room she had once again taken refuge in, she found the tiny vampire staring at her. "I'm going to have to get used to you not hearing us coming."

"I should be able to, shouldn't I?" Bella asked.

"Most of us can hear each other coming up to a mile or so away," she said with a laugh before gesturing to the bed. "May I join you?"

Bella nodded, and watched as Alice almost danced across the room, sitting on the bed with more grace than she'd ever seen before.

Alice stared at her for a minute before sighing and shaking her head. "I just can't get a read on you. Normally I'd be able to see whatever decision you're trying to make, outcomes on either side. Your shield is very strong."

"My shield, right," Bella murmured, shifting so that she was sitting on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest. "It's what makes that man so angry with me, right? Eleazar, wasn't it?"

Alice frowned but nodded. "He wasn't angry, Bella, just . . . you confound us, and that's not something we're used to."

"Story of my life," she whispered, placing her hand against the side of her head. "The doctors never understood Fred, either. Said chemotherapy and radiation should have worked, should have killed him, but Fred . . . No, Fred couldn't be killed. He was too busy killing me."

"I'm sure that was very difficult," Alice said, quietly.

She nodded and looked away. "Maybe I made a mistake, by saying yes. I should have just let Fred kill me."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, and Bella looked back at her. "Oh, I see."

"You do?"

Alice nodded. "Edward. You said yes because of Edward, didn't you?"

"Maybe," she said, and when Alice gave her a pointed look, she rolled her eyes. "Okay, I did. He's important, Alice. He's . . . he's important to me. I just don't understand why."

"When we came to your house, and you were standing in the rain," Alice said, and Bella smiled, "you looked at him. What did you feel when you looked at him?"

Bella closed her eyes, trying to remember that moment. "I love the rain. Standing in it, feeling it caress my skin. The pain in my head was always . . . so intense," she whimpered, the memory still fresh, "and I knew I was dying, Alice. I could feel the end of my life coming, and I wanted to feel the rain one last time. Feel like a little girl, without a care in the world. And then he was there, and he was beautiful and spectacular, and I wanted to know him. No, I needed to know him." Bella opened her eyes, but instead of Alice sitting on the bed, Edward was standing in the doorway. "You're back."

"I needed to know you, too," he said. "I needed you."

"Why?" she asked, climbing off the bed and standing up. "Why do you need me?"

"Because . . ." Edward closed his eyes before he strode across the room, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could, causing her to gasp. "I need you because I love you."

And before Bella could respond, she once again felt his lips pressed against hers. Unlike the first time their lips touched, this time Bella felt a strange warmth spread through her body, from the tips of her toes to the tips of her fingers.

Edward pulled his lips away, leaning his forehead against hers, but when his eyes opened, he gasped and stumbled backward. "What the fuck?"

"What? What is it?"

"You . . . your eyes," he murmured, his face filled with fears. "They're glowing."

Bella turned, feeling her shoulders tense as she walked over to the mirror vanity. Sure enough, her eyes, which had always been deep, rich chocolate brown when she was human, were now not only bright red, but they were indeed glowing.

What the hell is going on?

Spinning around, Bella looked at Edward, who was still staring at her with wide eyes and his mouth open. "Did you say something?"

Edward shook his head.

"Did you think something?" she asked.

His eyes widened, and he slowly nodded. Can you hear me?

Bella could feel her lips trembling as she whispered, "Yes."

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