15

Bella felt utterly and completely ridiculous as she sat in the middle of the bedroom floor, her legs folded beneath her, her hands on her knees, and her eyes closed. She was attempting meditation to gain some type of control on her 'powers'. Though, if you asked her it was all a load of hogwash and bullshit. Still, she was tired of feeling like the circus freak, and if meditation helped her control when her powers were activated, for the lack of a better word, then she would try. For Edward, she would try.

However, she found it . . . difficult to focus on meditation, especially because she could feel him watching her, deep down to her soul she felt him. Her body tingled, she felt anxious, angsty almost. The need to be close to him scared her, the intensity behind the need was frightening. She had never felt anything like it, and she wanted more — so much more with him.

"Stop," she murmured, breathlessly as her eyes fluttered open and she glared at the auburn haired vampire sitting in front of her, his legs too were crossed, though his butterscotch eyes were focused solely on her. "Seriously, Edward, stop," she laughed.

"I can't," he said, grinning wider as he shifted so that he was kneeling in front of her, his hands coming up to cradle her face. The tender way he touched her had her trembling. "You're so beautiful."

Bella smiled. "If I were still human, I would be five shades of red right now."

"I would have loved to have seen that," he murmured.

Inhaling a deep breath, she started to speak, but when he groaned, and turned toward the door, she knew someone was coming, and she had a pretty good idea who.

"Come in, Alice," Bella called, causing Edward to roll his eyes and fall back so he was sitting on his legs. The door to the bedroom opened, and sure enough Alice stood there, her almost black eyes shifting from him to her, a look of longing in them. It was the same look she had been giving Bella ever since she, somehow, managed to tap into her long forgotten memories.

"I'm interrupting," Alice fretted, turning but not leaving. "I'm sorry."

"You're not interrupting," Bella said, even though Edward scoffed. "You're not. I was just meditating, or trying to, at least."

"Oh," Alice murmured, nervously. "I was about to go hunting, thought maybe you'd . . . you'd want to come with me?"

Bella shifted her eyes to Edward before nodding. "Um, yeah, okay. I just hunted yesterday, but I guess I could go again."

"You don't have to. I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone," she rambled and turned and hurried away from the door.

Sighing, Bella stood up and followed Alice into the living room where Alice was standing with Jasper, who tensed the moment he saw her. She hated that he felt so . . . uncomfortable with her.

"Alice," Bella said, causing her to look over at her. "I would like to go hunting with you. I really would."

"Yeah?" Alice asked, smiling.

Bella nodded.

"Great!" she squealed, which caused Jasper to smile. "Let's go!"

Bella laughed and looked back at Edward, giving him a small wave before she and Alice hurried out of the house, headed north. They ran for a while before stopping and crouching to find their prey, a word Bella still felt awkward using.

"What are you in the mood for?" Alice asked, shifting her eyes to Bella. "I know you love caribou."

"I do," she admitted. "But probably because I haven't tried much else, I guess."

Alice nodded and looked away again.

"I wish I could do it again," Bella said, and when Alice turned back toward her, she added, "See your . . . your memories. I wish I could control it, which is why I've been trying meditation, but it doesn't seem to be working."

Alice smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Until the other day, I'd accepted that I'd never know who I was before my change. I awoke under a tree, in the middle of the woods with no memories of who I was, just wearing a pair of grungy grey pajama that had the name Alice written on the tag. I woke up lost and alone, but I had my first vision that day," she added, shifting her eyes to Bella. "Of you."

"Me?" Bella asked, feeling her eyes widened, and Alice nodded. "What was it about?"

Alice smiled weakly, and it was the first time she had seen her so vulnerable. "Nobody else knows this, of course. They all think my first vision was of Jasper, so . . ."

"I won't tell," Bella promised, unable to hide her eagerness.

Alice shifted so that she was seated on the ground, so Bella did the same. "You were standing in the middle of a field, a beautiful field filled with the most beautiful wildflowers I've ever seen. The sun was shining, and there was soft breeze. You were gorgeous, glowing with joy and happiness. You turned and looked right at me and smiled as you said . . . you said 'Don't just stand there, Alice. Find our family, find them. Find me, Alice. He has to save me.'" Alice laughed. "I didn't understand what you meant until . . . until I saw you standing outside Charlie Swan's house in the rain."

"Oh," she whispered. "Is that why you agreed? To Carlisle changing me, I mean?"

Alice nodded. "The moment I saw you, I knew you were meant to be one of us. I'd always kept that vision to myself, you know?"

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It felt personal, intimate almost. You were the first person I saw in my mind, Bella, after my change. When I was searching for somewhere to belong, I'd replay that vision inside my head. 'Find them, find you.' I don't know. I guess I just wasn't ready to share you with anyone else. To be honest, I'd given up that I'd ever find you," she confessed.

"You had?"

Alice nodded. "I saw the moment Carlisle decided to change you, but I couldn't see you. Just that he was going to change Charlie Swan's little girl. Now we know that was your shield. His decision to change this little human girl was crazy, reckless, and stupid," she added with a laugh. "Edward and I were furious, of course. We rushed out without letting the others know his plan, determined to stop him from doing something that would cost us everything we'd worked for, but when we pulled up to your house, and I saw you, saw the way Edward looked at you," she teased, "I knew . . . I knew you were meant to be a part of our family. I'd finally found you, and I knew Edward was going to save you, Bella."

Alice reached for Bella's hand, who tensed as she grabbed it. Thankfully, or maybe not thankfully, nothing happened. "We haven't made your change easy, we all know it, and we're trying to take some of the . . . awkwardness away, but know that we love you, Bella, and we're all here to help you."

"Thank you," Bella whispered. "It's just been a lot, I guess, and I feel so much pressure because of these . . . these gifts, or powers, or whatever you want to call them." She sighed. "I want to give you more, Alice, I do, but I don't know that I can."

Alice frowned. "I know, and I'm sorry if I've put pressure on you. I've just lived in the dark for so long, seeing myself through your eyes . . ." Alice pulled her hand out of Bella's. "I had a little sister."

"You did?"

Alice nodded. "I've been doing some research, and it turns out that my name is . . . was Mary Alice Brandon. I was nineteen when I 'died' inside an insane asylum outside of Biloxi, Mississippi. My mother died after my sister was born. My father was a preacher, who apparently thought the devil had possessed me because even as a human I had visions, so he locked me away, and threw away the key. My death certificate said I committed suicide about a year after he had me committed, but clearly that's not the case," she added with a forced laugh. "Cynthia died a ten years ago, but I have niece who still lives in Biloxi."

Bella frowned. "I can't imagine how hard this life for you, being all alone."

Alice looked away and nodded. "I did things, Bella, that I'll never be able to atone for." She eyed Bella again. "I didn't have the control you do, and humans . . . appealed to me, a lot. It wasn't until after Jasper and I found Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett that we stopped feeding on humans."

"And you're happy? With this life?"

Alice nodded. "I am. I won't say that I would have made the decision that you did. I don't know that anyone could honestly say if they had been presented the choice to become a vampire, we would have said yes, but I am content with my life. I have an amazing family, who loves me for who I am, and a man, who spoils me and tells me every day that I am perfect just as God made me. Can't really ask for more than that, can I?"

Bella thought about Edward and the way he made her feel as she shook her head. "I suppose not."

Alice tilted her head to the side before she smiled and said, "Enough talking. Let's hunt."

—Stay—

By the time Alice and Bella finished their hunt, each feeding off a small herd of moose, and arrived back to the house, the others were gathered in the living room. Carlisle and Esme were seated with Garrett, who was enthralling them with stories from the Civil War. Emmett and Jasper were playing chess, while Rosalie was flipping through a magazine. Edward was standing by the front window, no doubt watching for Bella's return. He turned and smiled at her as she and Alice wandered into the house.

Tanya, Kate, and Irina were seated at a table on the far side of the room, looking at plans for their house, though Bella noticed the way Kate peeked over at Garrett. The only ones missing were Eleazar and Carmen, which didn't surprise Bella. Eleazar struggled to be around her, seeing as he couldn't sense her power.

"How was your hunt?" Edward asked, hurrying over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

Emmett and Jasper shared a look, almost smirking. Carlisle and Garrett, however, made no effort to hold back their laughter at his eagerness, which they both ignored.

"It was —" Bella was interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She pulled it out of her back pocket, smiling when she saw her father's name flashing across the caller I.D. She held it up and turned to walk out onto the porch, selecting talk just as Alice screamed, threw her hands up to her head, and drew everyone's attention to her. "What the fuck?"

She brought the phone up and said, "Dad, let me call you back in a minute," but before she could end the call, she heard a dark, ominous chuckle that send chills up her spine. "Dad?"

"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella," the husky, dark voice said through the phone. "Charlie can't come to the phone right now."

"Who is this?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Where's my father?"

"He's safe. For now," the man added. There was something familiar about his voice, but she couldn't put a face with it. "How long he stays safe, however, is up to you?"

"Me?" she asked, looking back at Edward, who was holding Alice as she rocked back and forth. Their eyes met and she knew everything they knew was about to change.

"Come home, Bella. Come home, and we can end this without your mother or your father getting hurt. It's time to stop running, Bella. Now come home."

And before Bella could press for more information, the call was disconnected. The phone slipped from her hand as she dropped to her knees. Whoever the man on the phone was, they were holding her parents, and if Bella didn't go back, he was going to hurt them. Had her choice not to die cost her parents their lives?

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