gotta carry that weight Chapter 76
The night. A pause. Willing or no.
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The CORE was not waiting; neither was it in a rush. It vibrated just enough to shiver the icicles that dangled from the buildings in Snowdin and rattle teacups in New Home. With that, came waves of energy. Lights flickering here and there. It was uncommon enough to cause some posts on the Undernet, but not enough that there was any panic.
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A blizzard was rolling in. Large, soft flakes tumbled down from the dark cavern, so thick they looked like fog after just a few meters. It wasn't the right day for it— or, at least, Sans didn't think it was. Then again, what day was it, exactly? Did it even matter anymore?
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Probably not.
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Storm or not, he would have been out here anyway. Maybe he just wanted to be preoccupied with some inconsequential thing for a little while.
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The skeleton felt like a stranger in his own house. He was less lethargic than he'd ever been, and yet it was hard to focus and the strength in his soul made him ache. Every relieved word that came from his brother or his father felt like a lie. He shouldn't be here. It should have been someone else.
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After tucking Suzy into bed, the faint wish for solitude and fresh air had triggered a rush of magic through Sans's bones. He'd found himself on the roof in the blink of an eye, shifting in a way that he had been unable to for days. Still sick— vision shattered for over a minute after the fact— but it was certainly better than nothing.
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The wind was picking up, but he didn't mind the cold. The snow thickened around his legs and piled up against his back, but he didn't mind that either.
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A giant, eight-legged shadow passed by just across the road like some wandering cryptid. Sans raised his hand and a gleam of many eyes and two arms in the air was his reply before the form shifted away, vanishing into the blurring whiteout. He wondered if this was the timeline where the giant spiders took over the centre of town, or if it was still the one Toriel had subverted. He supposed didn't really matter either way, though. The only notable changes back then had been webbing between buildings and pushy door-to-door donut salesmonsters.
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How long ago was the first time he saw that? A shiver ran up his spine and his grin twitched upwards at the corner. Nope, wasn't worth thinking about. He tried to relax. He closed his eyes.
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Sans woke up in searing heat, time shards so intense across his vision that he was functionally blind. Then, before he'd even taken two steps, he was elsewhere. Cool; climate controlled. Still couldn't see right, but he could hear a vibration high above him and the gentle hum of computer monitors. The salty smell of broth drifted in the air. He smiled to himself. At least this was pretty predictable.
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He took a deep breath and risked a teleport— just a few feet to the side. The world shifted under him and his head spun like he'd just rolled down the stairs. His vision was still beyond comprehension and he felt so sick he almost doubled over. He grabbed the nearest desk to catch his breath. Despite that, his grin widened. Leagues better than before.
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He put a hand to his aching head and tried to focus on not falling over, and after just a few moments, the the real lab began to peek through the mess of time and space laid out before him. He let out a puff of relief and took a look around.
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The basement. First floor. Lit only by a few dim monitors. The bed he had been in was still there, untouched, though the curtain was gone. The timeless spot where Undyne dozed couldn't change, but a small chair was beside it. There were a couple golden flowers in a mug put on a stool near the head of the bed, along with some incense that was probably intended to smell like the ocean.
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Sans slipped over on quiet feet. He knew, in stasis, technically Undyne would be experiencing nothing at all, but even so, she looked like she was sleeping quite comfortably. The true hero of the underground. He hoped she'd be proud of this. He hoped she'd be unbearably smug.
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Cautiously, he reached out and touched the grey in the air. The intense cold had him draw back almost instantly. He sighed and sat in the chair, shoulders sagging, and he stared at his sharp fingertips. The magic that wasn't his— bound and entwined with it anyway— pulsed like waves beneath the surface of his bones and through his whole soul.
"Hey, Cap," he said. "Know you can't hear this, but… thanks, huh?" He smiled sideways. "D'you feel like this all the time? S'not bad."
Another little vibration. Elevator. He considered just vanishing, but Alphys had probably seen him from upstairs. Best not to worry her.
"…Sorry. If y'end up stuck to me," he said. "You don't deserve that."
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He waited until he heard little lizard feet slapping on tiles before getting up. A second set of larger, softer feet gave him pause. His first thought was Toriel, but no, even at a quick pace, her paws didn't hit as heavy as that.
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He moved back towards the desk and folded his arms, leaning against it and out of the way just in time for the lights to switch on and the King, in all his mop-maned, holiday-sweatered glory, to rush in. He paused for just an instant at the threshold, eyes wide, mouth drawn back, before he bolted to Undyne's bedside and dropped to one knee. He rested his hands above her, unflinching at the deepest cold.
"Oh dear," he said quietly.
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Alphys slipped in quickly and was halfway across the room before she noticed Sans. Her hand shot to her chest as her eyes bugged out. She blew out a quiet sigh and hurried to him.
"Y-You scared me!" she said quietly. "I was worried y-you already left. Are you o-okay? How'd you get in?"
"Typical sleepwarpin'," he said with a shrug.
"O-Oh… The usual?" She held his shoulder, but then her eyebrows shot up. "Wait, I thought you c-couldn't…!"
He nodded his head towards Undyne. Alphys's eyes grew even wider. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, and then quickly joined Asgore.
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"Sh-She's going to be okay," the lizard said gently.
"Yes! Of course," Asgore said quickly. "I know. I know she is. Toriel walked her through everything, I suppose?"
Alphys nodded. "Y-Yeah. She said she… That she did it perfectly!" She squeezed her hands together. "And Gaster used this same technique on Sans and h-he came out totally fine, so…! So I know that she'll be okay."
Asgore cracked a small, tired smile. He reached towards Undyne's face as if to touch her again, but his hand stalled in midair and he instead rubbed it through his golden hair with a tired sigh.
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Sans flinched. He was cold. The second he even considered leaving, Asgore's ears perked to the faint shifting of slippers and he turned quickly, eyes wide.
"Sans." He got up and rushed to him, dipping and pulling him into his arms in one, swift movement. "Thank goodness. How are you?"
"Me? Uh." Sans laughed, but it was quiet and mirthless. "Don't worry."
"I am the King, it's my responsibility to worry." He pulled back and put one giant hand on top of Sans's head. "I'm so sorry I… I've been so behind on all of this."
"You been busy," Sans said.
Asgore shook his head. "Did she share everything with you?"
"Far as I know," he said.
"Good! Good." Asgore patted the skeleton's shoulders. "I'm sure she would want you to make use of whatever you need."
Sans shrugged tepidly. "Eh. I'm up; that's more than enough."
"Of course! But. You know. If you need… a spear or… to lift a boulder far above your head. Don't hesitate. I know that's what she would want." He held out his hand. "May I?"
Sans let a bit of energy bristle from his fingers and settled his hand on top of Asgore's palm. The King smiled fondly.
"I am proud of you. The both of you."
"I… didn't do anythin' but pass out twice," Sans said.
Asgore shook his head. "That's not true at all."
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Sans, all of a sudden, felt tiny. Like a little kid. Asgore's brows bent sympathetically and he gave the skeleton's shoulders an affectionate squeeze before he straightened up again and headed back to Undyne's bedside.
"I think I will wait here for just a little while, if that's alright," he said. ."…Would either of you mind if I take a moment?"
"N-No! No, no, we don't mind at all." Alphys grabbed onto Sans's sleeve and tugged on him gently. "W-We'll just be, um, upstairs if you need us."
"Thank you," Asgore said.
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On the elevator up, the two monsters were quiet. Alphys held her arms, her eyes focussed absently on the buttons on the wall. Sans checked his phone. No messages— they must not've noticed he wasn't still at home yet.
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Alphys cleared her throat, cutting the silence. "…Things are getting worse," she said quietly.
"Yup," Sans said.
"Do you, um…? Do you have a couple minutes?"
"Yup."
"I'd, um, like you to look at something upstairs, before y-you go."
"Sure."
She sighed and pulled her glasses off, rubbing at her eyes with her fingertips. Dark circles had long since set in and, without the frames blocking them, she was starting to look as if she simply had spots around her eyes. "Sorry. I… I was going to let you rest. Really. A-Actually, I was going to ask Gaster, but I f-figured, since you're here…"
"Don't sweat it, Alph." He settled his back against the wall steadily as shards of time slipped through his vision— maybe himself, maybe his father; maybe a blue and pink striped shirt. He cracked a smile. "T'be fair, think I'm probably more awake than the old man at this point, so, better it's me."
"This whole thing, um… H-Has it…? Do you know how long it's been?" she asked.
"Hard to say," he said. "Maybe a week?"
Alphys groaned, running her hands down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes and huffed out a tiny, warbling laugh. "I-It's all blurring t-together."
"Don't blame ya," Sans said. "I see the times shiftin' and I still have trouble followin'. What's it like for you?"
"I d-don't even know how to answer that." She put her glasses back on. "M-Mostly everything seems fine, I guess? I-I mean, timewise, n-not… Everythingwise. But every once in a while, I r-realize, I have no idea what d-day it is, or… or the clock doesn't make sense, or… Or like with Mettaton and all those… legs? We're n-not lining up."
"Hm." Besides the Mettaton thing, he thought, that didn't seem too out of the ordinary for the way Alphys often did her work. He hoped that, post-reset, she'd at least be rid of the sleep-deprivation.
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"Also, umm…" Alphys tapped her fingertips together. "Did, um…? D-Did… C-Captain Undyne…? I mean, did she… leave you a note, or…?"
"Yeah. Said if I got mad at myself for her doin' what she did, she'd chuck me in a lake. Why?"
"Oh! Oh, was…? Was that it…?" The scales of her cheeks flushed. "I s-see."
"Why?" he asked.
"Hm?! Oh! N-Nothing. Nothing, it's fine," she said swiftly. She suddenly became very preoccupied with the sealed doors, foot tapping; tail swishing.
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When the elevator ejected them onto the first floor, Alphys rushed out and back into the main area of the lab. It smelled a bit like soup up there, too. The largest monitor boasted a seismograph with a jagged line that looked like a slowly-scrolling picture of a small mountain range— peaking and dipping seemingly at random, with the exception of, every once in a while, an abrupt, completely vertical line. Big text at the bottom of the screen asserted, in bright green: NO EMERGENCY DETECTED.
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"Y-You see that, right?" Alphys asked, gesturing to the monitor. "I th-think I can guess what it's doing, b-but—"
"Verticals are big time jumps," Sans said.
"Exactly! I thought s-so," she said. "I'm sure there's s-some, um, micro ones in the smoother lines. But I'll need to, um, l-look at it a little closer." She gently rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. "What I'd r-really like to do is… If I had some data. T-To match it against. I could maybe predict if s-something's going to go really off until the next jump."
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Sans nodded. He stole her chair and took to her computer, then booted up the CORE's simplest interface. "Easy."
"I-Is it?!" she asked.
"Sure." He worked with quick fingers, pulling up an old and ever-expanding dataset and a console to type commands into. "We just tell the thing to match up new readings with old years."
"W-We have those readings?!" Her eyes lit up.
Sans shot her a sympathetic smile. "What's the last experiment you remember runnin' before all this crap?"
"Um… The one where w-we were doing analysis on if DT binds to h-harmonic resonance or not," she said.
"Ah. Yeah, okay, that's before we told ya 'bout this bit," he said. "S'okay. I'll just sync it up and tell it to, uh, do a big warnin' beep if it lines up to some time in the past where there's a big error within a couple days. Course, that won't account for any sideways or future crap, but if it's what we got, it's what we got."
"Wait, so…?" Alphys frowned, putting a hand to her head. "Where's m-my mind at, then?!"
"Seems like you kinda bounce between around ten years back and normal but minus the time kids."
"O-Oh m-my god," she squeaked. She rubbed both hands over her head. "R-Really?! That m-m-much?!"
"You're doin' good, Alph," he said.
She wheezed out a worried whine, but she nodded nonetheless. "Okay. Ooookay. O-Okay. Right." She took a deep breath. "O-Okay. We're fine. Y-You're up, and the Captain is safe, and the e-evacuation already h-happened, and… and it's fine. Right?"
"Right." He shot her a concerned look. "Gonna be okay?"
She nodded hurriedly. "It's…! It's not for m-much longer! And…! And I h-hardly notice!"
Sans raised a brow. She smiled nervously. He nodded, then pointed at the seismograph on his screen that mirrored the much larger one.
"Hey. If it… y'know, if it gets bad? You leave, too, yeah?"
"D-Don't worry about me," she assured him. She stood on her toes and patted him on the back. "I, um… I think that's it? You should go home. Get more r-rest, okay?" She smiled. "If w-we can just find a safe time to g-get you and your machine in there, this… This could b-be done, tomorrow even, right? That'd be r-really good, right?"
"…Sure would." He stretched. "See ya later?"
She nodded. "G-Good night."
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Sans braced himself, then shifted, back out onto the roof back home. He took a deep breath of the crisp, cold air as he settled in, letting the chill ease away the lingering thoughts of the CORE. Just a little while longer on his own, he thought. Just a little more to decompress.
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When his eyes readjusted, thorny vines wrapped the edges of the roof, the sharp points cutting the shingles. Then, they were gone, not a shred of evidence they'd ever been there. Sans sighed. Nice to think of how he wouldn't have to deal with that anymore after this. He much preferred that Dreemurr kid to be fluffy and goatish.
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He settled himself comfortably and tapped his finger on the roof five times, counting down until the sound of clunking wood and sliding glass broke the quiet of the night.
"SANS?!" Papyrus called loudly. "ARE YOU BY SOME CHANCE OUT HERE?!
"Yup," he said.
"OH! GOOD! I'LL GO TELL DAD, HE IS SEARCHING THE DOG SHRINE!"
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The window slammed. Sans smiled sympathetically. He knew Gaster would understand, but Papyrus, not so much. That was fine. He'd be back in a minute.
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Sans twirled his finger in the air, letting a cool bristling of sparks light the snow with blue. They naturally wanted to combine into the sharp tip of a spear. He'd been through a lot of strange stuff over who knows how many timelines, but this was completely foreign to him. Some piece of him— or, more accurately, some piece of her— felt like it could sprint down main street and turn the whole river to ice.
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A light rumble rattled the house. The sharp clink of icicles snapping; the small pomf of them hitting snow below. Sans's vision distorted in chunks, but only for a second before returning to their new normal of simple ambient, floating shards. He rubbed his brow with the heel of his hand.
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He caught the sound of the window sliding open again, and Papyrus's arm shot up over the side of the roof. The tall skeleton pulled himself up with ease and rushed over to join him.
"What are you doing out here?" Papyrus asked.
"Just chillin'," he said with a grin.
Papyrus's face scrunched up, and his brother smiled a little wider. Puffing out a sigh, the younger skeleton's shoulders dropped and he rubbed the back of his skull.
"Ugh, I can't even be mad at your incredibly lazy wordplay," he said, cracking a small smile. "I… was pretty worried I wouldn't hear it again for a while, to be honest. Do you want to go inside?"
"Eh. Not yet."
Papyrus nodded. He knelt down to brush the snow off the top of Sans's head. He reached into his pocket to pull out the blue scarf marked with moons, and he carefully wrapped it around his brother's neck. "Keep warm, at least, alright? Just in case?"
"Sure. Thanks," he said.
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Papyrus cleared a small spot beside Sans on the rooftop and plunked down. "Come to think of it, how did you even get up here? The front door's blocked."
"Oh. Right. Teleport's workin' again," he said.
"Really?! That's great!" Papyrus grinned. "Undyne really helped, didn't she?"
"Yeah, sure seems like it," Sans said. "Don't think even my busted bones can burn through what she gave me right away."
"That's a relief." Papyrus tented his fingers. "So we'll finish up, the CORE will stop rumbling, our siblings will come home, and Undyne will wake up again, right?"
"That's the idea," Sans said.
"That's good." He smiled bashfully. "I don't think my memories are being stolen right out of my head very much recently, but I do like to double check, if I can."
"Fair enough."
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"Oh!" Papyrus perked up. "Actually! There was something I was meaning to talk to you about that is sort-of-kind-of related. Or, technically, two somethings. First thing, I've been seeing strange… little chunks of things in the air, ever since that horrible stuff near the King's house."
"Oh," Sans said. "Didn't go away, huh?"
"Nnnnope, not at all, no."
"Sorry 'bout that."
"Why?!" Papyrus asked, brows shooting up.
"You know." Sans drew his finger diagonally across his ribcage.
"And you know that isn't your fault," Papyrus said with a frown. "And! You know what?! I'm happy about it! Anything that helps me understand what's going on a little more, I am more than glad to participate in!"
The short skeleton cracked a smile. "Guess that's one way to look at it."
"It's the correct way to look at it! I just thought you'd like to know," he said. "The second thing is maybe a bit more serious?" He raised his hands and waved them back and forth quickly. "Nyeh, not that anything's wrong!"
"Wuh-oh," Sans joked.
"No no! It's just that it's very… unusual? And. It's mostly in your sort of area of things-you're-very-familiar-with-but-don't-like-to-talk-about."
"Okaaay." Sans raised his brows. A sense of cold disquiet crept up his back, and it definitely wasn't the snow.
"It's not that bad! Really! I just didn't really notice it until you passed out, but I think you should know," Papyrus said. "I… sort of. Maybe. Kind of. Gained a bunch of memories from somewhere?"
Sans blinked. "Uh. What… kind of memories?"
"Oh, you know, the usual, a whole lot of days repeating, and a strange flower, and weird time kids that are not our sister doing… questionable things."
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Sans's cheekbones flushed with pale blue and a sick rattling ran through every bone in his body. The edge of his vision seemed to lose focus. Words locked up inside his head for a solid few seconds as he scrambled to try to process the absolute dread that gripped his soul in a vice. "How… much of it?"
"I have no idea, actually, it all sort of runs together after a little while," Papyrus said.
"Oh shit." Sans wasn't sure why, but all that intrusively shot through his mind was his brother as an adorable infant, rushing around their old apartment— then, some gleaming, silvery thing knocking his head off at the neck. His eyes began to water. He sunk down into his scarf. "Uh… You okay?"
"Yes, of course, I'm completely fine!" Papyrus said quickly. "…Are you?"
"Shit." Sans rubbed at his eye socket with his knuckles. "…Does it, uh… feel like you lived all that?"
"I'm not sure. Not really," he said. "Maybe a little of it. Why?"
Sans grunted. "Shit."
"Nyoo, that's not an answer!"
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Papyrus stared at him intently, so much so that his eyes began to shimmer with gold. Sans wished he could sink down and disappear into the snow.
"Sans. Come on. The more I remember, the better, right? Even if it's… weird," Papyrus said.
Sans's mouth strained into a sardonic smile. "The kid was too much already."
"Too much?! I don't understand. It was good when I remembered how much I liked our sister, wasn't it?"
"Not that."
"Then tell me about it."
Sans shook his head. "It's garbage. That's it."
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Papyrus got to his feet and scrambled along the roof to look his brother in the face. He knelt down again. "Sans. Please. I feel how things were off, now. Is…? Is this what's been bothering you all this time? I mean, before this, even. Help me understand."
"If I knew how t'do that, I might not be such a mess, huh?" Sans said with a wink.
"Oh, come on, don't deflect, you're obviously upset."
Sans shrugged tepidly. Of course, he'd screwed up already. "Didn't want this for you, kiddo. Never did."
"But it already happened and I'm okay! I'm completely fine," he assured him.
"Are you?"
"Yes, of course! I'm the great Papyrus, when am I not okay?"
Sans's eyes darkened. "What about your list?"
"My l—?" Papyrus balked at the notion, but his cheekbones flushed faintly. "It…! It's just so I don't lose track of anything, that's all!"
"Hm. Couldda sworn it was more than that."
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The blush on Papyrus's face brightened in colour. He pouted sheepishly and got to his feet. "Ugh. Forget it. Let's go inside."
"Sorry, Paps, didn't mean to call ya out," Sans said.
"It's not that! It's…!" Papyrus sighed heavily and dropped back down beside his brother, sending a dusting of snow puffing out around him. "Okay. I might be unnerved and I miss our siblings quite a lot now and I feel like I've seen a ton of bizarre things all of a sudden, but it's really not important right now because I need us to get through this and I need you to be okay. So can you please tell me what exactly is this thing that made you react like that?"
"Bro, I don't—"
"You trust me, don't you?"
"Course I do," he said.
"Then why won't you talk to me?" Papyrus insisted. "I'm not a little tiny baby bones anymore! I can handle it." He held Sans's shoulder tight. "You want to protect me, right? You want to help me? Then let me help you. It's the best way. I want to be able to be there for you one billion percent and you are making it difficult on purpose because I don't know why."
Sans laughed, smiling fondly at his brother. "You're great, Paps. Guess I didn't want you to be upset."
"But isn't that up to me if I want to be upset or not?!" he demanded. "I want to know, even if I get more upset than I've ever been in my life!"
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Sans couldn't help a tired smile. Of course. That was Papyrus for him. He rubbed the back of his skull. The kid was right, he thought. He'd handled the big stupid death reveal like a champ. This, though… It was worse, wasn't it? More existential, that was for sure. Plus, Sans was stuck. Papyrus might be clinging to strands of time almost as hard as his own soul insisted on doing. No walking back any of this. Whatever he said, Papyrus would always know it. Were either of them ready for that? Maybe it didn't matter.
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"You're right," Sans said. "Let's go in. Meet up in the basement?"
"Wh…?" Papyrus's eyes brightened. "So…?! So, you're going to tell me?"
"We'll, uh, see how it goes." Sans winked.
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Sans shifted himself to the dog shrine room beneath their house. He put his hand out to find the wall and, once he did, he slid down to sit with it at his back. He stretched and tried to relax.
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This was nuts, right? The only one who really knew what had gone on in all of those vanished timelines was their sister. He never would have told her in a million years, but when she'd given him her soul at the edge of the barrier, both of their memories flooded into each other. If he'd known that would happen, he would have done anything in his power to stop those ones from getting into her little head.
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But, there was something else, too. Relief. A roiling, cold guilt that hit him every time it sparked up within him. Was this just the same? Offloading his garbage onto the people he was supposed to be shielding? Maybe he should just vanish for a bit and pretend the teleport wasn't working quite right.
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Right, and then make them worry again, you idiot.
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He chopped that idea off at the knees.
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Papyrus bounded down the stairs loudly and crashed to a halt. He sat down on the floor in a hurry, right in front of his brother. For some reason, he was still mostly clear in Sans's vision. Same thing happened before, actually. He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.
"So?!" Papyrus asked.
"So."
"…So." The tall skeleton cocked his head to the side like a puzzled dog. "We can talk?"
Sans's soul felt frosty in his ribs. He took a deep breath. Not for him, he reminded himself. For Papyrus. It had to be confusing, to have timelines smooshed together and out of context whirling around in that cranium of his. He nodded. "What d'you wanna know?"
"For real?! No jokes? No misdirections or…?" He quickly sat cross-legged, upright, alert, and bright-eyed. "Okay. I'm ready. What the heck happened to you?! Back then. And now, I guess. And why were you outside and not in here? What's going on in your head?"
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Sans folded his arms and his smile turned forlorn. "That's a lot."
"Ugh. You're right. Then start with… Hmmm. Start with the time stuff. That's the most important part, probably," Papyrus said. "What happened to you that you don't even want me to remember it?"
"Long story. Uh." The short skeleton drummed his fingertips on the floor. "…Shit, where do I even start?"
"Tell me a little today. Maybe more later," Papyrus said.
Sans nodded. He mulled it over as his eyes began to refocus. He thought, for a moment, he saw some vines on the stairs, but they erased themselves when he blinked. He sighed. "To be honest? I've had only… what? A year and a half of certainty? Stuff that wouldn't loop again. In a real long time."
"Oh?" Papyrus's brow furrowed. "How long?"
Sans shook his head. "Couldn't tell ya. Stopped countin'." He leaned back solidly against the wall. "…Heh. Sorry. This is weird. I… don't talk 'bout this stuff, y'know?"
"I am very aware that you don't talk about this stuff, yes," Papyrus said, a hint of a tease in his voice.
Sans snorted. "So, you know it was a mess, yeah? The same days— same weeks, if we got lucky. Over and over, until the kiddo showed up and fixed us. I was kinda hopin'… I dunno, for a little more permanence. And then I went and got sick like an idiot and—"
"That wasn't your fault," Papyrus said swiftly.
"Either way," he said. "I… Heh. Shouldn't have slipped."
"You didn't slip, you passed out."
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Sans couldn't help but burst out laughing. He patted his brother on the shoulder. "Good one."
"Thank you!" Papyrus said.
The short skeleton's face fell. "I guess… Gettin' comfortable, I mean, I shouldn't—"
"Why shouldn't you be comfortable? That's silly."
"It's sorta weird, y'know? Nothin' ever stays like it is. But everything's stuck exactly the same, too," Sans said. "But… I mean, I trust that kid. Trust her like I trust you. So I figured it was safe to… relax, I guess? And don't get me wrong, this ain't her fault, it's… mine. Maybe it always was."
"Sans, come on," his brother chided gently.
"What's the sayin'? If everything around you is crumby, check your own pockets or somethin'?" His eye sockets lost their light.
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Papyrus pouted. "It can't be you. It's just bad luck," he said.
"Pretty long streak of bad luck," Sans said. "Lost the kiddo, the Prince; now Undyne. Almost lost Tori. The CORE might blow again. I dunno."
"Sans! Stop that. Just because you got sick doesn't mean you did this! You know that! We keep telling you that! Why don't you believe it?"
Sans shrugged. His brother sighed heavily.
"Sigh. And you've really only been out of the, what was it? The time loop? You've really only been out for a year and a half after however long?"
The short skeleton nodded.
"That must've been such a relief," Papyrus muttered.
"Like you wouldn't believe," Sans said, grinning sideways.
"I was always there with you, right?" he said. "We were always together?"
"Yeah. Course we were," he said.
"Good. That's what I thought." The tall skeleton breathed a sigh of relief. "And our time kids, were they with you very long?"
"One longer than the other," Sans said. "Didn't get along with him for a bit. He's fine now."
"And the other one? Our sister, right? She… hasn't been here long at all, has she?" Papyrus frowned thoughtfully, his mind cranking hard behind his eyes. "But you… waited. For a very long time, right? Because you saw her in a dream a long time ago. Right?"
"You remember that." Sans's shoulders slumped. "Yeah."
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Papyrus gasped loudly. "So NO WONDER she's so important to you! I mean, besides all the obvious things."
Sans snorted out a quiet laugh. "Guess so."
"So what did you do? In the time loops."
"Died," he said with a sideways smile.
Papyrus frowned. "Sans."
"Just like I told ya before," he said.
"Who…? What? Who?" The tall skeleton nodded to himself. "I'm going to settle on who?"
.
Finally, a little light came back to Sans's eyes. Hopefully, that meant Papyrus wasn't fully in on all the Flowey timelines that came before. Not that he'd been planning on throwing Prince Asriel under the bus, but that all was a discussion better to come from the goat kid himself, and Sans was happy to sidestep it.
.
"Those other, uh… time kids. Anomalies. Murderers. Whatever," he said. "It was a whole thing with endin' the world and blah blah blah."
"…Don't tell me you fought them?!" Papyrus yelped.
"Oh. Yeah. Tons of times. Kinda became my job, since I was the only person who really knew what was goin' on. Didn't even get paid overtime." Sans felt— and looked— exhausted just thinking about it. "But… You were better. Always were."
Papyrus tilted his head. "Wait, I'm… I mean, okay, sure, but I don't understand."
"See, I'm… I'm the failsafe. I'm the idiot waitin' at the end as a final deterrent," Sans said. "Everythin' I did for… ages, was me hammerin' out what to do and what to say that lead to the least amount o' death in the most amount of circumstances, get it? But, even with all that, the person the most likely to get these murder-kids to knock it off was you."
"Me?!" The skeleton's eyes went wide. "Really?!"
"Course." Sans grinned. "You're the great Papyrus. You smell like sunshine, yeah?" He smiled ruefully. "…They'd start. They'd… y'know. Take out Tori. And the dogs, sometimes. But then, you? Specially the ones that'd looped back from the end. They couldn't. Most of the time, anyway."
.
Papyrus frowned thoughtfully. "Right. Funny. I'd… Nyeh heh! I'd say the same thing almost every time, wouldn't I?" He nodded. "Okay. I… I'm glad, actually! It's good that I could help. But… Explain the end to me. That's when everyone's… dead?"
"Almost everyone." Sans's gaze drifted. "The end is… Heh. The real end. Is some outside time anomaly and the ghost in their head decide best course of action is keep killin' until they're strong enough to end everything. I wait in the gold hall. Asgore's still left, but by that point, he's not survivin' a single hit. If I fail, he goes, and so does the whole world."
"Shi—oot…" Papyrus said softly. "But we're still here. Even though you…? You said you…" He gulped. "Died. Right? As in, for real, died."
Sans nodded. "Never really understood that part," he said. "I kinda figure, once it all ends, at some point the anomaly and the ghost together can't hold it like that. S'not their universe; it's our sister's. So. It resets without them. The ghost can't remember she got what she wanted and that it can't be permanent, so tries again. And with every win on their side, our world can degrade. Which is… why we're a mess right now."
.
Papyrus frowned, worried and thoughtful. He folded his arms. "But the way you talked, you didn't fail every single time, right?"
"Nope." He grinned tiredly. "Believe it or not, I'm actually not trash at bein' incredibly frustratin' to deal with."
"How…? You're literally the weakest of all monsters, though. What did you do?"
Sans laughed. "Actually practiced."
Papyrus gasped in jest "You?! No!" He snickered. "But seriously, though, brother, your damage is abysmal. How the heck did you manage it?"
.
Sans held his hand out. A simple bone drifted up above his palm and his left eye flared with blue. "Usually it's invisible, but…" He gave a little push and a sharp, bright purple glittered faintly in his magic. "This is somethin' only I can do, far as I know. Called karma. Don't ask how I know that." He nodded at it. "You can touch it."
Papyrus stuck his hand on top of the magic bone. "It's incredibly weak; I don't feel anything."
"I know," he said. "It's like a poison for people who have LV. The more they have, the more damage I do." He smirked. "Basically the only way I can." His grin fell and so did the magic he held, drifting away between his fingers.
.
"Since that's the way it was, I settled on garbage. If the anomaly went full murder-kid, I lurked around like a useless loser. Could hardly save anyone. After everything repeatin' over and over, I watched and learned and I found out the most useful I could possibly be was to become that annoying piece of trash blockin' the path at the last second. After that thing had killed enough that my karma would burn through it. It's the only time I had a shot. If I tried before that, I would get dusted pretty quick. Made that mistake quite a few times when all this started. " He rubbed the back of his skull. "And… That's about it for that part, I guess."
.
Papyrus frowned. "Sans…" He slammed his hands down on the floor. "Un. Be. Lievable!"
"Eh?" Sans blinked.
"I can't believe you, brother! How could you not tell me this?! I have missed out on potentially hundreds of timelines worth of bragging about how cool that is!" His eyes glittered and he put a hand to his chest. "Imagine! My brother! Is not just an amazing brother, but is also an amazing defender of the entire world! No! The entire universe!" He cackled and slapped Sans affectionately on the shoulder. "Nyeh heh! I never would have guessed!"
"Oh. Ah…" Sans's cheekbones flushed blue and his grin widened a little. "…You think it's cool?"
"Of COURSE it's cool, Sans! The image of you— the laziest and weakest skeleton ever— standing firm before the end of the world and, not only that, actually winning sometimes?! That's amazing." He grabbed Sans's hands. "Gosh, I wish I could have seen it! Does anyone else know about this?!"
"Uh… Just… those kids, uh…" He put his hand on his head and laughed at himself. "Sorry, still kinda processin' that you think somethin' I did was cool."
"Oh, come on," Papyrus scolded. "You have a moment every once in a while!" His expression softened. "I knew you'd been through quite a lot but I wasn't expecting that. I guess it was very hard, right? That's why you didn't want to tell me."
"…Somethin' like that," Sans said quietly. "I'm, uh… I'm sorry, Paps."
Papyrus shook his head. "I appreciate that, but it's not necessary. I understand. It must've been lonely, though. I hope you'll come to me with weird stuff like that now, though! And we can talk about it in more pieces later on, alright? I think it's really good for you to share it and—" He gently knocked Sans on the head. "—get it out from just rolling around in there and eroding the inside of your skull, right?"
.
Sans stared at his brother in silence. His eye flared bright with blue. He grabbed Papyrus and squished him tight. With a snicker, his brother hugged him in return, his soul warming his chest.
"H-How'd I get so lucky, huh?" Sans said under his breath.
"Maybe the universe doesn't hate you quite as much as you think it does," Papyrus said. "I assume you feel a little better now?"
"I, uh…" Sans had to clear his throat. "Yeah. Thanks." He pulled back and rubbed the back of his skull with a bashful grin on his face. "Sheesh, gotta be somethin' wrong with me, I'm spillin' all the beans again."
"Then we will make a chilli of understanding!" Papyrus said. "Actually. I could sort of go for some chilli, come to think of it. Do you think dad likes chilli?"
"He'll like whatever you make, bro."
"Nyeh heh! Good. Are you hungry? You should eat more, too, since you're awake." He got to his feet and and pulled Sans up with him. "Honestly, though, I'm very happy you talked to me. You won't regret it! I promise."
"I know," he said.
.
Papyrus beamed, his eyes shining; a gold shimmer glittering faintly across his bones. Of course, Sans couldn't regret it now, could he? Even with a sinking feeling inside him. Not after a reaction like that.
.
The tall skeleton dragged him back upstairs and then sat him on the couch before he bounded back to the kitchen. His absence was immediately followed by a clattering of cans and the scrunching of bags.
"Do we even have beans?! Wait. Have I even had chilli?" He poked his head back out of the kitchen. "I have, right? I'm pretty sure I have."
Sans grinned. "Yeah."
"Back when… Umm… It was… Oh, god, was it from Grillby's?!"
The short skeleton snickered. "Yeah. It was just before the, uh, giant flower thing."
"OH! Oh right! I remember… NYEH!" He raced out of the kitchen and stood before Sans with his arms filled with an assortment of cans. "That was when we had the surface house for almost a year, right?!"
"Yeah."
"So that was really only a couple months ago, wasn't it?"
Sans nodded. Papyrus grinned proudly and pranced back into the kitchen smugly.
"I am getting the hang of this!" he asserted.
.
Sans kicked back on the couch and turned on the TV. He turned it off quickly, though, as the picture before him was too distorted by the time shards in his vision to make looking at it very pleasant. He fished inside the couch for a book and pulled out some dramatic, heavily stylized horror comic he didn't recognize. He shrugged to himself and gave it a shot.
.
A few spooky pages later, Gaster emerged from the mysterious middle room on the second floor. He walked downstairs with only the faintest attempt to keep his feet from dragging, but then flopped on the couch beside his son and put both hands to his brow and let out a tired grunt. Sans snickered.
"Tough night, huh?"
Gaster leaned forward, shoulders slumped. He shot Sans a skeptical look. "Why are you still up?"
"Look who's talkin'," Sans said.
"You should go to bed." His father sighed. "I should be back at the lab."
"I think Alph's gonna lock the door if y'show up."
The tall skeleton folded his arms and almost pouted. "I can break down a door. Easily."
"DO NOT!" Papyrus called. "JUST WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW! WE ALL AGREED!"
"To be fair, I only agreed to go home," he muttered.
"THAT WAS NOT THE SPIRIT OF THE THING AND YOU KNOW IT!"
.
Sans chuckled. Gaster sighed heavily. He shot his son a curious look.
"So. Your teleport is back?"
"Yup," Sans said.
"Good. I'm glad," he said. "…How do you feel now? If we've… reset the clock, so to speak, unless something awful happens tomorrow—"
"For now I, uh, feel fine," Sans said. "But if we gotta hook my machine to the CORE; it's still havin' a multidimensional tantrum."
"I've seen." Gaster rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'm sure there's something I could do. Some sort of… timeless barrier, to protect it, maybe? Or if we can try to lock the CORE to some energy constant, even for just a few minutes…" His brow furrowed. "I'm… I'm sure I'm up to it, but—"
"Why don't you go sit in the sun for a little while in the morning?" Papyrus asked. "That's supposed to be good for— GASP!"
.
The tall skeleton out of the kitchen with wide eyes. "Can one of you watch my pot?!"
"Uh. Guess so," Sans said. "Why?"
"I need to go see Minerva again!" he said. "Ugh, with all that's going on, it slipped my mind, but I promised to tell her what happened to this—" He pulled out the glittering red orb from his pocket, and instantly a little white dog was laying across his shoulder. "—when sunlight shines through it. Which was quite a lot, in fact!"
"S'kinda late, though, huh?"
"It's not that late," Papyrus said, hurrying for the door and pulling on his jacket, "and it might be another time where she is!" He tossed the dog to his father. "Plus, if we really do solve all this tomorrow, I might not get another chance! Double plus, if the little human at Asgore's could travel more, maybe she can, too!"
"It's still the blizzard, Paps," Gaster said, wincing as the dog shoved its snout through the hole in one of his hands.
"Oh! Right!" He bounded up the stairs, two at a time. "Then the window it is! And Sans, can you send me the photos and stuff?!"
"Uh. Sure?"
"Thank yoooou!"
xXxXx
Papyrus made his way to Waterfall as fast as he could with a bounce in his step. On the paths, shards of time showed flickers of knights patrolling the roads. He could have sworn he caught Undyne from the corner of his eye, but she was gone by the time he turned to get a good look.
.
He rushed up past Gerson's shop, to Minerva's place, but he stalled in his tracks at the entrance to her home. There was no door at all. He hoped one of her experiments hadn't blown it up.
"Minerva?!" he called. "It's your cool and tall friend Papyrus with some interesting…!" He peeked inside and his steps faltered.
.
Just a dim, dark cave. Vacant. Empty.
.
"Minerva?!" Papyrus rushed inside, his boots scuffing on the rough, bare rock. The only thing breaking the dark was the faint, golden glow from his eyes. "Are you in here?!"
Silence. His soul roiled in his chest and he rushed to the middle of place and turned around. Some fragment of somewhere else in his vision caught on some gleam of purple. He headed straight for it, but he passed through and it vanished.
"Oh. No. Nyoo, no no no, this isn't…" He slammed a series of tall bones into the floor and lit them up like golden glow sticks.
The rough, craggy surface of the stone around him shone at the edges. A black void of space stood out where the light hardly reached. He rushed to check it, but there was nothing within, either. Papyrus's soul sank in his chest.
"Minerva?!" he called again. "Are you hiding?! It's just me!" His voice bounced impotently off the walls.
.
"What're you shouting about?" An old, craggy voice grumbled.
The skeleton whipped around, wide-eyed, to see a rounded shape blocking the way out. Squinty, yellow eyes gleamed at him. He squinted back.
"Gerson?" he asked.
"It's late for an old guy like me, kiddo, what're you doing in here?" the old turtle asked. He wandered in a little closer, his thick, clawed fingers scratching the scales on his cheeks. He was in blue and white striped pyjamas and a matching nightcap and slippers. "Kinda weird to be standing around in the dark, huh? Undyne send you on a secret mission or something?"
"Oh! No, but…! You're around here all the time, right?" Papyrus said. "Do you know where the person who lived here moved to?"
"Moved? Wah ha ha! You're a little late! Nobody's lived here for… Well! Must be a hundred years! Give or take."
.
Papyrus's words left him. He gulped, hard. "A-Alright, I understand, but she was just… Wasn't she just…?" His thoughts tripped up. Panic shot through his mind and he ran his thumb hard against the back of his opposite hand.
"Who are you looking for, exactly?" Gerson asked. His brows raised and one eye stayed squinted.
"Um." The skeleton's soul stuttered. "It's…! It's…" He sighed. "M-Maybe…" He blinked. "Oh! Maybe she'll come back!" He checked his phone quickly, running through his items with a brush of his finger. "Dooo you happen to have any paper I could have? To write a letter?"
The old turtle gave him a probing look, then shrugged absently. "Sure, I got some old notebooks in my shop."
.
Papyrus followed Gerson out, but stalled at the threshold of the cave, hanging onto the wall. There was a weight in his ribcage, but his head felt light and dizzy.
.
The turtle vanished into his own cavern. Papyrus tapped his foot. He looked back over his shoulder, hoping to get another glimpse of purple light. Nothing. He drummed his fingers, the sharp sound echoing in the cavern.
.
"Here you go."
Papyrus almost jumped right out of his boots as Gerson broke into his line of sight. The old turtle offered him a faded, violet notebook. The skeleton froze. His fingers trembled as he plucked it up.
"Th-Thank you."
Gerson nodded and smiled. "On the house." He clapped him on the shoulder. "Just say hi for me, okay?"
Papyrus nodded hurriedly. The old turtled yawned loudly and trundled away, and Papyrus whirled and rushed back into the vacant cave.
.
He carefully tore blank pages from the book, re-lit the room with his magic, and wrote like his fingers were on fire. Explaining all that he could. Drawing the magic circle from the photos in red pencil crayon. Apologizing profusely. Starting part of the letter over twice because of some dripping something splattering on it, though he couldn't find the source.
.
He folded the letter with extreme care, concealing the diagrams within it. He drew a little doodle of his face on the outside. Placed it in the centre of the room, where it was easy to see. Then, he left, out into the quiet caverns beyond.
.
He wandered for a while. His legs felt like stone and nothing passing before his eyes left a lasting impression. Lights dimmed and brightened. Monsters drifted by him. Someone called for Blackletter. He might have signed a hat. He couldn't remember.
.
The next thing he knew, he was somewhere else. The King's house. The King's front door. He couldn't remember how he got there. His phone rang and he jumped. He looked at the screen and tilted his head. Why was Bratty calling him? He answered.
"Hello there, the g… Papyrus speaking, how are—?"
"Papyrus?! Like, where are you?! Did you fall off something?!"
"Um. Nnnno, no, I don't think so," he said. "Wh—?"
"Dude, Catty and I totally just saw you but when we came to say hi you, like, vani—"
The ground rumbled underfoot and a spark of magic buzzed through the air, flickering the lights and making his phone let out a high whistle as the screen distorted. He let out a yelp and looked at the corrupted picture of spaghetti with sunglasses on his home screen with confusion. He clunked the thing back against the side of his head.
"Hello?" he asked.
The phone replied with some deep, off-key notes and a strange dial tone.
"Hello?" he repeated. "Bratty, are you there?" He thought, maybe, he heard a voice deep in there, layers beneath the surface sounds. He couldn't make out any words, though. "If you're there, I'm sorry, I can't really hear you!" he said. "I'll call you back later!"
.
Papyrus hung up and rubbed his head. He turned and plunked down on the ground, resting his back against the house. He wondered if this was how Sans felt all the time. He hadn't sat there long, though, when the door behind him opened and he fell back into legs. He looked up and Toriel's warm face greeted him. She bent down, her violet eyes widened with worry.
"Papyrus? What are you…? Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, taking him by the shoulders. "You look exhausted."
"M-Mom!" He scrambled to his feet and she stood up with him. "Mom, I…" He cringed. "Minerva, she's…"
"Oh dear…" Toriel cupped his face gently with her paw. "I was afraid of—"
"Her whole house was completely empty but I…! I promised to tell her about the—"
The huge, soft monster pulled him into her arms and his knees almost buckled. He clung tight to her and pressed his forehead into her. She gently rubbed his head.
"Come inside, my child," she said. "And we can talk all about it."
xXxXx
Chilli was done. Papyrus wasn't back. Phones were a mess.
.
Sans and Gaster ate in relative silence, but the old skeleton was still bristling with energy. Sans could almost see it spiking off his shoulders. Gaster kept looking at his glitchy phone screen as if he were watching the clock. He finished his bowl and gently tapped the spoon against the table.
.
"I was… Alright. I know it's not ideal, but since things are so strange right now… Are you okay to stay on your own?" Gaster asked.
Sans raised his eyebrows and his father snorted, a bashful smile spreading on his face.
"I know. I'm sorry to treat you like a child, it's just—"
"No, I got it." Sans smiled and then let out a dramatic sigh and gave a shrug. "It'll be weird to not be under constant surveillance for a night but I guess I'll just have to manage."
"Pff." The old skeleton got to his feet. "I suspect Alphys will need some help with the phones since there's so much else going on." He headed for the door to get his thick, leather jacket. "Just, uh… If Toriel asks, I'm with Asgore."
"He was at the lab, last time I checked," Sans said.
"Oh! Perfect." He reached for the door. "And, uh—"
"Blizzard."
"Oh." Gaster made a face. "…Do I risk a tear, or…?"
"Nope."
He sighed. "You're right. I suppose it's the window for me as well." He headed up the stairs. "I'll be back soon."
Sans stuck his thumb up.
.
The short skeleton went to grab more chilli. As he was ladling it into his bowl, he could have sworn he heard a dull, solid whumf into the snow outside.
.
After eating, he went back to the spooky comic, lazing on the couch, his eyelids getting heavier with every turn of the page.
.
He'd almost dozed off when the clomping of reptilian feet on the stairs roused him. He opened one eye to see Suzy, lizard plush clutched under one arm and blanket over her shoulder, wandering, half-asleep, down onto the ground floor.
"Hey, Suz," he said groggily, forcing himself to sit up.
She grunted in reply and clambered up onto the couch beside him.
"Bad night?"
She chomped lightly on his arm and then curled up against him. "Shut."
He snorted. He pulled her blanket out of its bunch and draped it over her instead. "Whatever y'need, goofball." He raised a brow. "You okay?"
"S'a weird ghost in the room," she grumbled.
"Uh." Sans gave her a look. "…Not like last time, though, right?"
"Nnnoo," she muttered. "It's just grey and weird and I don't wanna deal with it."
"Want me to go ch—?"
She gripped hard into his sleeve. "No. I'm sleeping now."
.
He held in a laugh. Probably a nightmare, then. He grabbed his book in blue and dragged it over to finish it up. After a few pages, he caught the gleam of Suzy's yellow eyes. He smiled sideways.
"Thought you were sleepin'," he said.
She instantly ducked down, her eyes vanishing under her mop of hair as she buried herself in the blanket. "I am, shut up."
.
Sans went back to it, but his mind kept wandering to his brother. Papyrus was taking longer than he expected. Seemed like time between their world and wherever Minerva was ran different, but it was a lot slower on their end. Papyrus could have spent hours there and it wouldn't have felt like more than a couple minutes on the outside.
.
Maybe he just needed a little time on his own. Sans certainly would have, after all that garbage today. It had been easy on his end, up until having to spill his metaphorical guts. If the same had happened to Papyrus, though, he knew there'd be no way he'd be okay.
.
He awkwardly shoved his hand into his pocket and used a flicker of blue magic to maneuver his phone from his crocodaur-trapped arm to his face. It was still looking pretty screwed up. He put the book aside and checked texts anyway. They were a mess. There was a text heart from a number that was completely illegible, but otherwise, nothing new.
.
He sighed and slumped in his seat. He'd done the right thing, right?
.
Despite every indication of failure, he texted Papyrus. Just a simple how r u. Still wasn't sure if it sent, but it was better than nothing, he supposed. He added a message to Toriel as well— hadn't seen her in a while; hoped she was still in the timeline properly.
.
He rubbed his eye sockets wearily and sunk back into the cushions. Plucking up the spooky comic, he gave it one last try, but promptly fell into a dark, numb sleep.
.
He dreamt of snow. The cold wind. The flicker of Papyrus's red scarf in the bluster.
.
A little pressure on his face. Words lost in the whooshing of air. Something staring into his eyes.
.
Some sound. The rhythm of words, but nothing he understood. It sounded like it was right inside his skull.
.
Sans jolted up with a start, the echo of some voice lingering in his ear holes as if he'd heard it aloud. Suzy groaned. He blinked. Was that a little light in through the window—?
.
A crunch from above and, all of a sudden, the pointy end of a stalactite crashed into the ceiling, pointing its big rocky self straight down into the living room. Suzy yelped and jolted up, eyes bugging out and jaw dropping as she pressed herself as hard as she could into the back of the couch. Sans rubbed his skull.
"Cool," he said.
"Why did that happen?!" the kid exclaimed.
"Dunno." Sans slid onto his feet and took a look up at the mess.
The earth rumbled beneath them and Suzy growled at it loudly.
"Stop that!"
Above them, the stone groaned a little and sunk farther inwards as the walls of the house creaked.
"YOU STOP, TOO!" the kid yelled. "Ugh, what the heck is going on?!"
"Time stuff, probably," Sans said. He rolled up his sleeves. "Welp. Guess this is the boulder liftin' bit, huh?"