Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Hornet and Woden: "The Date"

He was alone at the kiosk. Just another faceless man among a crowd of people. His one eye scanned over the pad as he sipped from a cup of tea. As far as anyone could tell he was normal, for a middle-aged human. Normal size, normal build. Dirty blonde hair crowned his head and a strange golden eyepatch on his right eye. Some thought he was old fashioned, with modern technology an eye can easily be regrown or he was one of the rare few that was allergic to it. Otherwise, he went unnoticed and unremarked as he worked. Then she entered the area.

Tall, stately, beautiful. Long flowing blonde hair with large green eyes. She drew looks from men and women. Her heeled feet hit the ground as walked. Stalking her prey. Her outfit was a bit more modest than what she usually wore. An open-bodice modern corset with trousers. However, she was here to deliver a message. Then she saw her target. Sensors locked she homed in on it.

He kept looking at his padd till the last minute. He honestly didn't think anyone would bother him right now. It was a bit of shore leave. He simply chose to spend it alone and going over some training materials plus a few letters from his brothers. However, he could hear them. The sounds of high heels on metal plating. His proximity sensors alerted him to the fact someone was closing in on his position. He turned to look at the intruder as she moved extremely close to him. She bent over at the waist so she could look him in the eye.

An amused storm grey eye met twin forest green ones. She smiled at him as her hand grabbed the back of his head. He spoke to her. "Hello, Hornet."

Her smile grew wider and became a bit more genuine as she spoke, "Hey Woden." Then she proceeded to shove his face into her cleavage.

She held him there for a minute, her smile not leaving her face. Then she let his head go but did not remove her hand. She looked the startled man in the eye and spoke up. "Listen up. We will meet on the Promenade at 1700 hours tomorrow. You will wear something nice and business casual. We will go out to dinner, then to a play I've been dying to see. Lastly a bit of dancing at this one promising club. You will have a good time and you will enjoy yourself...understand?"

"Say what?" Woden asked before his face met her cleavage again. She held him there for another minute before releasing him again. Her smile never wavered as she looked at him.

Woden chuckled wryly before speaking, "1700 hours, Promenade, business casual."

Hornet patted him on the head before bending over and kissing his cheek. "Good boy, you can be taught. See you then."

Woden could only watch as she walked away from him. Her hips swayed in a manner they had not when she was stalking him.

Hornet was pretty happy. She had a hot date at 1700 hours. Her favorite team was poised to win the championship and Yorktown still had not figured out who had pranked her...or was laying low to return the favor. Ah, the joys of sisterhood. She was about to take another bite of her burger when Northampton sat down across from her. A scowl upon her face.

Hornet gave her friend a raised eyebrow as she continued to eat. Certainly shipgirl gynoids did not need to ingest food to stay powered but they all had a backup bioconverter so that they could blend in with the crew. She continued to look at the other girl when Northampton broke first. She sounded tired and was brooking no argument from her tone of voice. "What were you thinking, Hornet? What was going through your mind when you planted Woden's face into your cleavage? Or were you thinking at all when you did it and decided to go for a cheap thrill with that fucking glacier of a ship AI?"

Hornet cocked her head to one side as Northampton continued," Do you know how many girls are pissed off right now? Some want to shake your hand. Some want to have your program examined and a surprising number want to wring your neck! You went directly at him and then told him to take you on a date. By the Great Bird of the Galaxy...WHY?"

A loud slurp came from Hornet as she finished her drink. She set the cup down and spoke up. "Because subtle hints that you want to date him go over his head. You have to be direct and show him, otherwise, he won't get the hint."

"What makes you say that?" Northampton said. She was shocked at what she had heard. This made no sense as far as she could tell.

"Simple, I read his file then read between the lines. Sure he is relatively stable but he has no clue how to interact with us. Organics? Sure easy as pie. Shipgirl AIs? We are a whole different culture and some of his early interactions with us were not that good. He spooked a few of the girls he met. Of course, they are trying to make it up to him but he is clueless about it. Given how he was created it makes a bunch of sense...the idiots."

"What the hell are you going on about?"

Hornet sighed, closed her eyes, and counted to ten. She opened them and pinned Northampton with a look. "Where was Woden compiled?"

"Memory Alpha." She replied, all shipgirl and shipboy AIs were compiled at Memory Alpha. Everyone knew that.

Hornet shook her head. "Woden never went to Memory Alpha. Woden is the product of a Star Fleet Intelligence top-secret Black Project. No one knew he even existed until his warhull slid out of the slipway in 2365. Himself? He was compiled 2360. So he spent five years around a team of Vulcans, andorians and humans. Now then...he was never around ship AIs before he left the slipway."

"But that is impossible. All ship AIs interact at Memory Alpha. Afterward we can network while in port and such. Heck, he has to network if he wants to stay sane. We all do it."

Hornet sighed, "There was no one to teach him and afterward no one thought he needed to know how. He doesn't know how to network, doesn't know how to check someone's data to help fight rampancy. Heck, I don't think he knows how to check himself. He doesn't even know what an invitation to Spleef is or how to play the game...lastly he has never, never been inspected."

Northampton froze at that. Her face fell. Several other girls were now with them and their expressions told everything. "He hasn't been inspected? Not once?" Northampton asked in a tiny voice.

"Not once since 2365. He has had crew rotated through his war hull but not once has he stood down for a general hull inspection. Hell he hasn't even had the standard yearly inspection. I know I've seen the records. his crew has been rotated through and he is on his third captain but Woden? Not one break, not one vacation since 2365." Hornet said as she cleaned her mess up.

"That is the battle I'll be facing. We have a fellow ship...that has no idea what it means to be a ship. To enjoy networking, Spleef, gossiping and such. I'm going to have to teach him this because the carbonites sure as heck can't be trusted too. Work, train, patrol, fight, and on and on. Day after day... Ceritos never had to go through something like this."

"He isn't cold and indifferent because he thinks he is better than us. He is cold and indifferent because no one taught him to enjoy being a ship. How sad is that?"

She cleaned herself up and then threw the trash away. "I'll contact you later North, I have a date to get ready for."

Hornet turned and walked away. Ignoring how the small flotilla of ships watched her.

Hornet groaned. Oh, how her head pounded. Yep, she had gotten drunk last night, and now...now for the hangover. A frown marred her mouth as she smacked her lips. Sour mouth, definitely sour mouth the dreaded result of drinking the night before. She closed her eyes tightly against the light filtering into the room. The sun was too bright and revelee was not until 1200 hours damnit!

She groaned and reached down. Cool air caressed bare flesh as she pulled the covers up. Ugh had she slept skyclad, again? That didn't make much sense. Last night she had been on a date with Woden. They had taken part in a Spleef tournament...then the celebratory party ...then...then... Then a new thought entered her mind. Why was the bed moving?

She frowned at that. She was on a bed. It was firm, warm, and...moving? She shifted a leg. Feeling her foot hit the mattress. Wait why did this bed have two mattresses? That was definitely not logical it should only have one. Yes, a bed requires only one mattress and this one had two. Why two though? A beeping noise came from the entrance of the room. She could hear Northampton yelling through it. "Damnit Hornet! I have been looking for you for an hour. Captain Sinclair needs to see us...and!"

"Hammy shaddaup! Mmm sleepy. Off duty got shore leave until...whenever. Goway!"

"Computer override door, authorization Northampton Sierra delta two."

"Hornet, get up and get dressed or I EEEEK. Um yeah, I see that you ARE busy Hornet yeah I'll ...I'll go tell Captain Sinclair you were um...yeah."

Hornet frowned at that but snuggled into the warmth some more. Yeah, she just needed some more sleep. It was a pity Nothampton was so uptight. She needed a boyfriend. Yep, good old-fashioned sex had a way of relaxing a girl. Her eyes shot open as an arm not her own clamped about her waist and a familiar voice spoke up. "How rude, I think I will have words with her later. Computer, reduce the light coming into the room by 50 percent, please."

Hornet's head turned to see who had spoken. Woden regarded her with his one good eye. A small smirk played on his face, " Good morning Hornet, sleep well? So what routine do you usually follow in the morning when sharing quarters with someone?"

Hornet froze at that and thought about it. Then she spoke up, " Usually offer to allow them to use the bathroom first."

He nodded, "Quite generous of you. I feel though that we may be more efficient at our task if we showered together. Thus water would be conserved."

Hornet nodded at that. It did make logical sense. They could shower together and...oh...OH... a small smirk appeared on her face. "Wow, you are a quick student. l."

"I had an excellent teacher."

Written by Typhonis1.