****************Warning this chapter is rated M********************
Here is the next chapter in this story. I must say that I am kind of nervous about this chapter, that is probably why I am posting this on Sunday instead of Saturday like normal. I hope you all like it. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter and to everyone who continues to read this story. I don't own Divergent, all military-related mistakes are mine as always. The only thing that I own is the plot of this story. ;) Happy Reading!
Chapter 19 Maybe I'm Amazed
Tobias leaves early the next morning for work before the sun rises, and he doesn't return until it goes down that night. This becomes his routine for the next few days. Caleb and I talk daily, while he is on his lunch break. He seems happy with his new girlfriend, Cara. I continue to try to press him for information, but he doesn't budge, much to my dismay. Since seeing Peter again, his threat of seeing me around is ever constant in my head. I wake up screaming even with Tobias on the ground next to me, holding my hand. I dream of Peter every night, of that last day where he beat me, of him holding a gun to my head. "Tris, wake up!" Tobias says urgently, shaking me awake, just as Peter's foot crushes my airway. I bolt awake, sweat pouring off me.
"I can't keep functioning like this on two hours of sleep. I'm going to crash a plane if I don't get more sleep." He says, rubbing his eyes as he gets off the floor, grabbing his pillow and blankets. I glance at the clock, reading two in the morning. I know that he needs to be up in two more hours for work.
"Wait, Tobias! Don't leave me please!" I say, tears forming in my eyes.
"I need sleep. You keep screaming and talking in your sleep. I can't sleep like this. I haven't even gone to bed yet because all you are doing is tossing, turning, and screaming, no, up there."
"Come sleep in the bed with me. Come hold me, please. Your arms are the only ones that I know can and will keep me safe from Peter." He gives me a questioning look, almost like he doesn't believe me. "If I make any noise, you can go sleep on the couch. Please, just don't leave me."
"Fine." He groans, climbing into bed. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him as if he is going to protect me from my nightmares, my back to his front. The sensation of him behind me is strange but comforting, as he presses me tightly against his chest, I feel at peace for the first time since seeing Peter again, and I fall into a deep restful sleep for the rest of the night.
Tobias and I continue to fall into a routine. Every night, I pull the covers back on the bed, and I ask him to join me, to sleep for the night as he gives me a questioning look, like I might regret my choice come morning. Each night, Tobias pulls me tightly to his chest as I drift off into a peaceful sleep knowing that Peter isn't going to touch me. Tobias would never allow it, and every morning, when I wake up, I wake, having no dreams of Peter in my memory from the night before.
When Tobias leaves early one morning, I call the hospital, and talk to Tori, who tells me to take a few more weeks off, to continue to heal, and that when I feel one hundred percent better to call her and let her know. I try to tell her that I am better, but she will not hear of it. She recommends that I see a therapist before I restart work due to everything that I have been through, and that my job will be there waiting for me. I hang up the phone feeling defeated. That night, Tobias comes home with a dozen red roses. He gently kisses me on the forehead as he pulls away he says, "These are for you, my beautiful, girlfriend?"
"Why?" I ask, suddenly suspicious.
"I'm trying to butter you up. Is it working?" He asks, winking at me.
"Depends on, what it is you are buttering me up for?"
"Will you go to the military ball with me? It's in two weeks, and I have never been to one before. Stacy never wanted to go with me." He asks shyly, his hands in his pockets, as he looks at the ground. At that moment, he looks like a shy young man, not a confident captain in the military, like I think of him as all the time. I contemplate messing with him, but I can't bear to hold my answer from him any longer. "Oh, my goodness of course. I would love to be your date." His face lights up with a smile as he picks me up, and swings me around, saying "Thank you, baby. You are the best. Do you have plans tonight?"
"None that I can think of."
"Good. I want you to meet me out back in ten minutes." When I go to the backyard, I find the picnic table set with a blue checkered blanket. Tobias comes out in a black t-shirt with jeans and his converse sneakers on. I hope you are hungry because we are making kebabs tonight for dinner. Then, we are going on a date." He sets the supplies down on the table, and I help him skewer the meat and the veggies. As he lights the grill, cooking dinner, I read my book, stretching out in the evening sunlight. When dinner is done, Tobias sets the kebabs in front of me as I ask, "Tell me about some of the ways that you earned your medals."
"How do you know about those?" He asks, staring at me in shock.
"I googled you," I say, smiling at him, my smile turning into a grin as I continue, "Christina told me that I should."
"I don't really want to talk about that, Tris." His voice drops an octave as his eyes refuse to meet mine.
"Oh," I whisper, the smile drops off my lips, he must see it from the corner of his eye as he says "Don't feel bad. I don't talk about it with anyone, actually."
"Okay, tell me about your parents," I ask, trying a slightly safer subject, hopefully.
"My parents. Why don't you tell me about yours." He grins at me as he deflects the question back to me.
"I have told you, my parents were killed when Caleb and I were sixteen years old, and then we became homeless. We stole food to survive. Caleb stole money as well. Right after my parents died, I tried to kill myself. I didn't want to live in a world that my parents didn't live in anymore. Caleb found me bleeding out on the bathroom floor in our old home, and took me to the hospital. I did a small stint in rehab, but now I am better. My parents were the kindest people that you would have ever meet in this life. They would have given you the shirts off their backs if they didn't have anything else to give you. Their names were Natalie and Andrew, and they were great people. They would have loved you and would have hated Peter. Now fess up about your parents."
Tobias grimaces, "I didn't know my mom. I killed her."
"What?" I ask in shock, wondering if I am hearing him correctly.
"She died giving birth to me according to my father, Marcus. She got a clot in her lungs that the doctors didn't catch in time. Marcus, he took his anger out on me after her death. When I was four or five that is when the beatings started. First, when I was small he would beat me with his fists. Then as I got older, he moved from only using his fists to using both his fists and his belt on me. The man is nothing, but a drunk. He isn't my father, only the man whose DNA helped to father me. The night I got my acceptance letter to Stanford, he broke my nose. The night I graduated from high school as a gift, he broke two of my ribs. Tell me, Tris, does that sound like a father to you?"
"No," I say quietly.
"When picking out colleges, I wanted to move as far away as I could from him. So I did. I chose the furthest school away, that I got accepted into. I always told myself I would never be like him. I never wanted to grow up and be him, that would be a nightmare come true for me. That thought has pushed me in every aspect of my life, even to this day."
"Is that why you have that quote hanging on your wall?" I ask, thinking of his fear god alone quote that hangs on the wall by the door, as some of the mystery of Tobias Eaton is clarified to me, finally.
"Perhaps." He smirks at me, as the tears manage to escape my eyes, my heart breaks for the young man who had to endure his father's mistreatment as I whisper, "Oh my god, Tobias. I am sorry."
"Hey, don't cry for me. I don't want those tears. I made it out alive. I'm okay. I promise. As sick as it sounds that situation made me into the person that I am today." He says smiling, as he rubs my tears away with his thumb.
"Where are you from originally?"
"Maine." He grimaces.
"Then how come you have a southern California accent and not a Maine one?" I grin at him.
"Southern California was my home for years, Tris. More years than Maine ever was in my heart. I didn't even realize that I have an accent."
"Well you do, but only sometimes when you let it slip. I find it adorable."
"Thanks. I think. Now enough about that waste of space, I call a father, and my early life. Let's go on our date." He leads me out to the truck where he drives us out to the airfield again. I put my hands up, frustration lacing my voice when I see planes in the headlights of the truck, I say "I'm not going up in another plane with you. Once was enough for me. Not to mention, I'm not suicidal. It's pitch black out here. How would you even be able to fly."
Tobias laughs "No, we're not going up, but it's nice to know that you have such confidence in my flying skills. I can fly in the dark, though." He opens the backdoor of the truck, begins pulling out blankets, pillows, and placing them into the bed of the pickup. "Stargazing Miss Prior with a little alcohol included." He says smiling down at me as he holds up a small cooler.
Tobias smiles at me as I hop up into the bed of the truck to join him. He grabs my hand, pulls me down into the bed of the truck, and together, we laugh as we fall into the truck bed together a mess of limbs. He smirks at me as I rest my head on his chest, as he kisses my head, and I sigh, feeling content for the first time in my life just being. Tobias and I talk as we try to find different stars and constellations in the sky. I glance up at Tobias and at that moment, I feel like I want to tell him that I like him, but I'm scared to death. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he rejects me?
His hands subconsciously play with my hair as I look up at him again, wondering what is going through his beautiful mind at that moment. I wish I could read it. His eyes close as we talk, his fingers continue to run through my hair. The feeling overwhelmingly peaceful. His eyelashes are long up close, my mind frees itself of every ugly thought that I have had these past several weeks when my eyes connect with his as he opens his eyes again. I slightly smile as he catches me staring at him, as my hands cup my head resting on his chest, enjoying the close contact with him, listening to him breathe, both of us silent at that moment. "Thank you for tonight," I whisper, pulling my eyes away from staring at him, breaking the still night air, not looking at him as I speak, watching the stars instead of the gorgeous man laying next to me.
"You're welcome." He whispers as he kisses my forehead again. We don't talk about anything. We enjoy the comfortable silence passing between us. He continues to stare at me, our eyes catching one another's as he smiles at me, shyly.
I smile "What? Do I have something on my face?" I ask when I catch him staring at me again.
"I have something that I want to tell you, but I'm scared."
"Scared of what, Tobias?" I ask.
"I'm scared of failing." He says nervously to me, and I jokingly say "Baby, you've got wings. How can you be scared?" I giggle at what we just said, take a deep breath as I process that Tobias is attempting to flirt with me, the guy who said he didn't flirt.
"Because I have been hurt before, and I don't want to be hurt again." He whispers as he catches my eyes. I can see the truth behind his statement. I want to tell him that if given the chance, I would never hurt him. Instead, I say feeling a little courage from the alcohol buzzing through my system, "I like you, Tobias. I have for a while, but I wasn't sure how to or when to tell you."He smiles at me for a beat then his face drops dramatically. My heartbeat quickens, and I feel like crying from the vulnerability that I am feeling in the moment. I have never felt this vulnerable in my life before, ever "You can't like me, Tris!"
"Why?"
"I'm a mess. You are a mess." He says as he runs his fingers through his hair.
"Stop! Stop thinking. What is inside here?" I whisper, feeling hurt, my eyes not meeting his as he continues, his fingers touch my chin as he says, " No, Tris. You see that is the problem. I'm thinking too much about what is best for you and me. I am struggling with what is right, and what is the wrong thing to do. The wrong choice is so appealing to me especially when it comes to you. I think before we take this relationship any further, we both need to figure out our own shit. But, I'm willing to say that I like you too."
"You like me too?' I ask, confused at what he just said. My head spinning in a million different directions.
"Yes, I like you." He whispers as his eyes meet mine. His fingers run through my hair. I lean into his touch, soaking in the softness of it, as he tips my head towards him, brushing his lips against mine softly. Once, twice, three times.
"Tobias, I. . ." I whisper against his lips.
"Shh." He says, a tight smile on his lips, as I swallow hard as he covers my mouth with his slightly callused fingers. He tugs me back down to kiss him, his lips close around my bottom lip as his fingers, his hands, skim along my jawline, then run along my sides, sending shivers along my spine as his affection pours into me through this kiss. Suddenly he shifts his weight, his arms encircle me, my fingers tighten into his shirt as he pulls me into his arms, and he rolls us. He gently caresses my neck with one hand, lightly tickling me as his other hand moves downward, his fingertips move under my shirt. My fingers, shakily, move underneath his t-shirt. I take a deep breath, breathing in his scent, he overwhelms every sense of mine as my nerves calm as my fingers stretch feeling his taut smooth abdominal muscles. I try to pull his shift off, but can't. He helps me pull his shirt off, and he throws it into the darkness beside the truck. My fingers move up his naked chest, and grab a hold of his dog tag, tugging him closer to me. He bends his face to my neck as he traces a path with his nose, then with his lips as he kisses along first my jaw then my neck. Erratic breaths escape my lips as he starts to unbutton my shirt. My nerves return with each button that he touches and undoes. With every button, that he open, revealing a piece of skin to him, he places an open-mouthed kiss on my goosebumped skin. When I pull my shirt out from under me and off my arms, leaving me exposed to him, in only my jeans, and a pale pink bra, he whispers in awe, "You are so beautiful. You are not damaged goods, by any means, Tris. Not in my eyes at least."
His lips move back to my lips as I hungrily kiss him, tugging on his bottom lip with mine as my fingers move down to his belt buckle. His eyes have lust in them as he pulls away, asking "Are you sure Tris? Cause we don't have to. That's not why I brought you out here. That's not why I started this."
"Shut up, Tobias. I want you. I want this." I moan as his touch drives me wild, crazy with lust for him. I tug him back to me by his necklace. He groans, not arguing any further with me, burying his face into my neck as he turns to kiss me again, my nails digging into his shoulders from the sensations overwhelming me as his lips find mine once again. Our hips grind against each other's, and we lose ourselves in each other for the very first time.
-The O'Hare Affair-
Tobias's pounding heart is the only thing that I can hear in the quiet night, and I count the beats of it, waiting for it to slow down. He lazily runs his fingers along my naked back under the blankets as I grin up at him, and he nonchalantly smiles back me, then kisses my hair. My eyes float to the sky, a shooting star moves through the darkened night sky. I make a wish. The dark, quiet night air is broken by headlights. "Shit!" I try to grab my clothes, to cover myself.
"Just stay quiet. They won't even know we're here." He kisses my forehead as the car stops, and we hear "Four! I know you're here. I know that is your truck, and none of the planes are missing."
Tobias holds his fingers to my lips, trying to silence my giggles that are threatening to erupt. "Four! Four! Four! Captain Eaton!" Is screamed into the void. Tobias rolls his eyes, he rolls me off him gently, tucking the blanket around me as he sits up, saying, "Yes, gentlemen." It is then, I notice Tobias is naked, shirtless, surely these men will know what happened between us.
"Sir, your house was broken into tonight, and the woman who lives with you, she can't be found anywhere." A man's voice says nervously.
Tobias grabs his pants from beside him, wiggles into them, forgoing his boxer briefs, pushing the material into his front pocket. He jumps off the back of the truck, then grabs his shirt off the ground, and says "My girlfriend is with me. What do you mean, my house was broken into?" He asks, his voice rising.
"Sir, it is best if you come with us, and we can show you."
"Give me a minute." Tobias comes back, looking at me with a sincere look as he says "We need to go, baby, stargazing is over for tonight."
"Tobias make them turn around or something. I can't get dressed with them standing there," I whisper
He smirks at me, raising an eyebrow while saying "Gentlemen, Miss Prior and I will be along shortly."
"Captain Eaton, we can't leave you. Not until you come with us. It is the Major's orders."
I hear his voice grow irritated as he gruffly says "Turn around now, gentlemen!"
"Why?"
"Don't question me! That is an order!" He says, irritation lacing his voice.
"Oh!" One of the guys says then the other adds, "We got it now. Good for you, Captain Eaton, if we may be so bold to say."
"No, you may not," Tobias grumbles at them. I roll my eyes at the whole situation as I feel my cheeks heat. Tobias notices my eye roll as he smirks at me.
Tobias motions for me to get dressed quickly, handing me my shirt from the ground. Then he lifts me out of the back of the truck, his lips soft against mine as he kisses me quickly while the two men have their backs turned away from us. I blush when they turn around, the two men shoot me knowing looks. Tobias shakes his head, shooting them both dirty looks as I stare down at the ground, not making eye contact with either of them as he whispers, "That color pink is adorable on you, you know?" My cheeks heat even more, as I climb into the truck, not answering him. Tobias holds my hand, kissing my knuckles on the way home as he follows the security force vehicle to his house.
When we get home, the front door is broken open with the screen door hanging half off the hinges, clothing is thrown everywhere, all over the house and the furniture is overturned. The house has been ransacked. This doesn't even look like Tobias's house anymore. Normally, his house is neat, clean, and not a thing out of place.
"Is anything missing, Sir?" One of the men asks, looking at Tobias.
"I'll have to clean up in order to tell," Tobias says calmly.
"Okay, Sir." When they leave, I feel dread sink into my stomach again, knowing that someone has been in here when I see all of my clothing thrown, everywhere, that someone touched all of my things.
"Tobias!" I yell, my eyes on the bathroom mirror. He runs, following my voice, into the bathroom where I am standing, shaking like a leaf with tears in my eyes. Written on the glass in blood is Told You I Would Find You, Tris. You Are Mine. The next thing that I know my world turns black.
Thoughts! Can't wait to hear them as a lot happened this chapter! Please review and let me know. Tris and Tobias finally acknowledged that they like each other, progress right? Who do you think broke into the apartment? Who is excited about a military ball? Next chapter will be up on the weekend of February 2, until next time. Stay tuned for the next chapter.