Hey Readers, sorry this chapter is later than I promised, but I promise I have several good excuses. Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter, and thanks to everyone who continues to read this story. I promise that I read all the comments. I don't own Divergent and all military-related mistakes are mine. Happy Reading!
Chapter 32 Pillow Talk
My month-long stay in New York with Christina and Will was just what I needed, after everything that happened back in California. It cleared my mind, and it helped to take my mind off of everything I had endured. I needed the time to figure out what I wanted from my relationship with Tobias. I required the freedom to find myself as a person, and I wanted the time to allow myself to come to terms with what I had gone through in my life lately; from finding out that Peter was the one responsible for my parents deaths, to the abuse I had suffered at the hands of Peter, to learning I would never accept that kind of treatment from a man again. That month in New York, I started to grow into my own person, a person I came to love including all her faults, weaknesses, and imperfections, and become even more independent from the process of self-actualization.
Every night during that month away, I called Tobias, and we would spend hours talking over the phone, as I stared at the night sky, at the stars, wishing he was there with me, next to me on the rooftop holding my hand. We would discuss his long days at work, his sessions with the Chaplain that week, he would confide in me how he felt like he was slowly getting better, and he would tell me how much he missed me that day. During the phone calls, he would often talk about little things that he saw during the day at work, the objects which made him think of me. The phone call always ended the same, he would casually ask me when I was coming home, and I would answer, soon, not having an answer to give him, really.
At first, Tobias was nervous about talking to Chaplain Alex, he wouldn't admit it, but I could tell from hearing his voice quiver as he talked to me that first night. Now, the two seem to have connected and formed a great working therapeutic relationship. Tobias seems to enjoy opening up to someone, other than me, who is nonjudgemental.
"When are you coming home, Tris, or are you staying with Chris and Will forever in New York?" Tobias asks sadly. I sigh, our conversation always drifts to when I will be home, and normally I don't have an answer for him. As much as I miss him, I'm enjoying spending time with Christina, getting into trouble most nights of the week. I'm even enjoying her dress up games. I was planning on surprising him, but I have no idea where he is living now. He moved out of Zeke's house and wanted to surprise me with our new place of residence until his transfer to our new base. I try again, "When is your transfer to a new base?"
"Nice try, Tris." He sighs, attempting to change the subject as he asks, "Do you see the moon tonight?"
"Yes, it is pink, and so full here. Is it there too?"
"Mhmm."
"It is amazing to look at. I could look at it all night. I could fall asleep on the roof looking at it. It is so beautiful." I whisper into my phone as he whispers back, "Well, I have seen something rather someone even more beautiful." I feel my cheeks heat even though he can't see me as I lay back on the roof imagining him next to me as I blurt out my plans for tomorrow, unable to contain them any longer, "I'm coming home tomorrow. Will you meet me at the airport like you said you would?"
"Yes, I can't believe it." He laughs gently as I continue, "My plane gets into San Fran at one in the afternoon."
"Baby, I'll be there waiting for you outside of security. Come hell or high water, nothing could keep me away from you not even, Chaplain Alex. I can't wait to hold you and see you again. It feels like a million years since I have done either."
"Yeah, I know. I stayed out here way too long." I giggle into the phone, my excitement building at seeing him again, my chest feeling lighter than when I started the phone call.
"No, I told you to stay out there for as long as you needed, and you have done just that. I love you, Tris." My heartbeat picks up as he tells me he loves me again. I don't think I will ever grow tired of hearing this man tell me those words. "I love you too, Tobias."
"You better get some sleep. It is past three in the morning your time out there."
"Okay. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, my love." He hangs up the phone as I run my fingers through my now short and dyed hair. Tobias doesn't know about either the dye job or the haircut, and I wonder how he will react to them. I'm scared that he won't love me anymore because of how I look. I shake my head, waving away the crazy thought. Tobias loves me for what is on my inside, not how I look on the outside.
When Christina picked me up in New York, she took one took at me, and said, "You need a change." I shook my head. She was always trying to drag me to a hair salon every day to change my look until last week when I finally agreed, my outside no longer matching how I felt on the inside. She kept telling me that I needed a new look to go with the new person who I had become and the new life that I had, now that I was finally rid of Peter. After the makeover, she wanted to get a tattoo with me, but I was unsure enough about my new haircut and dye job. Instead, I watched as Chris and Will got a couples tattoo with a heart lock and a key on each of their hips. A thought crossed my mind of how I wanted to do something like that with Tobias one day in my future. My mind wondered what his views were on body art, we never discussed it. I know he doesn't have any tattoos, but he has never voiced any opinions against it either.
As I get ready to enter security, Will gives me a bear hug while saying, "Don't be a stranger. Maybe next time, you can bring that boyfriend of yours out here with you to visit."
"Maybe," I smile as enthusiasm shoots down my spine at the thought of introducing Tobias to my friends as my boyfriend for the first time, as I turn to Christina, who is traveling on business, I ask "You ready?"
"Yeah, I'll be right behind you."
When Christina and I get through security, we separate, going our separate ways. She gives me a long hug, saying, "Oh Tris, you take good care of yourself, and I expect you to call me every once in a while. Like when Four finally proposes to you. I want to design your wedding dress."
"I will; don't worry." I smile as she gives me another hug, then leaves me in the dust as the crowd of people swarms around me, carrying me towards my destination.
When my plane lands in San Francisco, my heart is beating fast. My feet carry me past security faster than I intend, and I get lost in the crowd looking for Tobias. I don't see him anywhere. Maybe he forgot or got caught up while at the base with something. As I am pulling out my cell to call him, I hear behind me. "Tris?" I spin to find Tobias, standing behind me with sunflowers in hand, in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, his glasses on. "Wow, you look different! I wasn't expecting it."
"Do you like it?" I ask nervously, as I run my fingers through my black curly shoulder-length hair.
"Like it. I love it. You look beautiful. But, I don't think words can express your beauty. It takes my breath away just looking at you right now." I feel my cheeks heat as he continues saying, "You look so different especially with the bangs. I almost didn't recognize you, but then I saw your cell with our picture on it, and I knew it had to be you."
"I missed you, Tobias," I say as I stare into his eyes, not knowing what else to say to him, feeling butterflies float around my stomach.
"I missed you," he says as he stares back into my eyes, he draws me into his arms, his lips press into mine gently as he kisses me. "You ready to go home?" He murmurs against my lips, smiling.
"Yes!" I say, taking his hand, his thumb running over the back of my hand, as he leads me down the stairs, thoughts of the last time that I left this airport plague my mind of Peter tripping me and telling me that he should make me walk back to the car on my hands and knees, I shake my head and the thoughts disappear. As we drive back to the base, I can't help but stare at Tobias. He looks so different than when I left him at the airport in Chicago. All his bruises are healed, his boot is off, and his split lip is gone as well.
"What are you staring at?" He asks, grinning at me.
"Nothing. You." I smirk. He smiles at me as he grabs my hand, running his fingers over my knuckles, bringing my hand up to his mouth, he kisses it, and says, "I missed this."
"Holding my hand?"
"Yes, I missed holding your hand."
"So, you wouldn't tell me, where we are moving to on the phone. You still plan on keeping me in the dark?"
"Well, I do have a way for you to get it out of me though."
"And what would that be?" I ask, quipping an eyebrow at him.
"Giving me a kiss." He whispers into my ear.
"A kiss?" I ask, shock lacing my voice.
"Yes!" He glances at me while smiling.
"Well, I will have to think about that one, Mr. Eaton," I say playfully.
As we stop at a light, I lean over and gently press my lips against his, enjoying the closeness of him again. We get lost in the kiss as he pulls away from the kiss, he stares at me with all this love and devotion in his eyes. Tobias leans forwards, his right arm resting on the armrest. Staring intensely into my eyes, he touches my chin with the tips of his fingers, drawing me closer to him. Our lips almost touching. "No one understands..." He murmurs, his breath fanning over my lips. "They don't understand just how big of an effect you have on me. You own my soul, Tris."
"What?" I ask confused. "Just forget it." He says before he bends closer, his nose running along my cheek, nose, and neck as he plants open mouth kisses until he finally reaches my lips with his own, and we get lost in the kiss again.
A car beeps their horn behind us as the light turns green breaking our kiss, as I feel my cheeks heat having gotten caught up in the moment with Tobias, who smiles at me as he says "I love you, Miss Prior. I don't think I will ever tire of telling you that. Not after waiting so long to tell you those three words. I have three different options for us, and I am leaving the choice completely up to you of where you want to live. Any of these guys are willing to trade assignments with me to stay in California for a few years longer. Option one, we can go to Alabama. Option two, we can go to Maryland for a short time then be transferred to another base in Virginia for a few years. Option three, we can go to South Carolina. Option four, we can go to New Jersey."
"Have you ever been to any of these bases before?"
"The one in Alabama, I have. I was there for officer training school. It's a decent base. I wouldn't mind going back, but it's your choice. The other bases I have never been to, but you know they say Virginia is for lovers." He wiggles his eyebrows as he continues, "I know, you have never been anywhere besides California, the choice is all yours, choose wisely."
"You really don't have an opinion."
"Whatever will make you happy. I will go where you want to go. I leave our future in your hands. My home is where ever you are."
"Really?" I ask, not believing my ears. Peter would never have allowed me to make such an important decision.
"Really." He says a confident tone in his voice, smiling at me.
"Can I think about it for a day or two."
"Sure, but I do need an answer by the end of the week."
As Tobias misses the turn for the house on the base, I ask, "Where are you going?"
He grins, "I got us a new apartment on base, unfortunately, it is right next to Zeke and Shauna, but this apartment is all ours until we get transferred somewhere else. Zeke and I finished moving in all the boxes yesterday. We spent all morning working feverishly unpacking all the boxes. I figured we could decorate this place together."
As Tobias pulls onto a different part of the base, and parks in front of a different house, which is similar looking, but smaller than the one we were living in before the Peter incident, memories flash through my mind once again. I force them back. I refuse to give Peter any more time or space in my life. Tobias has a sign hanging on the door. It reads, Welcome Home Tris. Tears fill my eyes at his thoughtfulness. Tobias excitedly shows me the new house, and as we are sitting on the couch, I ask, "Tobias, would you ever get a tattoo?" Thinking about Christina and Will getting their matching tattoos, the thought running through my mind at the idea of doing such a thing with Tobias.
"I have never thought about it. Why? What brings this up, love?"
"No reason. I was just wondering what your opinions on tattoos are?"
"I have nothing against them."
"Why don't you have any?" I ask, glancing at him, trying to imagine some sort of ink coloring his skin.
"I have never found any tattoos that I have identified with or any reason why I would mark my body." He says, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.
"So you would get one?"
"I suppose if I ever found one that I liked. You know those are permanent right?"
"Yes, silly, Christina and Will got a couples tattoo, and I was wondering if you would ever get one with me?"
"Maybe one day." He grins at me "When we are married." There is that word again, marriage, that he has talked about before. The word sends a shiver up my spine.
"Do you have plans to do just that?" I ask, trying to get him to confess.
"One day, but not right now." He says, blushing, pulling me close, then kisses my head as he turns the tv on, ending the conversation.
Things return to normal, Tobias, goes back to work on the base which for him at the moment is training the new recruits on simulation flights, he still isn't allowed to fly until he is cleared by the surgeon. I know he is itching to get back up in a fighter jet, but he still has at least another week of healing to do. I quit my job at the hospital, giving Tori my notice, which felt amazing, it felt liberating. It felt great to be done with that part of my life, and as I walk out of the hospital I pick up my phone to dial the phone number to a nurse recruiter's office to discuss how to move my license across state lines.
Later that week, Tobias comes home from work looking happy, abnormally happy. He pulls me close, kissing me sweetly, lifting me off the ground, swinging me in a circle as I giggle, "What are you so happy about?" I ask, trying to read into his good mood.
"The surgeon cleared me. I got my wings back. I just can't fly my fighter jet for two more weeks, but the normal planes I can fly. And no heavy lifting for two more weeks, well nothing above one hundred and fifty pounds. After that, I will be officially healed!"
I smile as I say, "I am so happy for you."
"I brought home something for dinner to celebrate. I'm going to start the grill."
"Okay," I say as I follow him outside, "Tobias?"
"Yeah." He asks looking over his shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to make this decision," I ask, referring to him choosing which base he wants to transfer to. He smiles, as he says, "No. I want you to. After all, I have lived on the East Coast before. You have not. So what base will it be?"
"Well, I'm stuck between Maryland, South Carolina, and Virginia. Can you tell me anything about those bases? What would you be doing?"
"Well, Maryland, South Carolina, and Virginia are joint bases. That means there are multiple branches stationed on those bases. Here at Travis, there is only the Air Force. In South Carolina, there is, I believe, the Air Force and the Navy. Maryland, that base might have the Navy, the Air Force, along with the Air Guard, and Air Force Reserves. The base in Virginia is also another joint base. It has the Army and the Air Force. The Coast Guard base is also very close as well. As far as what I will be doing, I'm a pilot, my job doesn't change just the type of piloting that I do and that I wouldn't know until I get to the base."
"I like South Carolina, but it might be a little too humid. I like Virginia too. Let's go to Maryland that way we can be transferred to Virginia after some time there. It will be the best of both worlds."
"Okay." He says, smiling. "Excellent choice, my love." He has a look in his eye like he is keeping a secret as he leans forward pressing his lips to mine.
Thoughts? Opinions? What do you think Tobias is hiding or is Tris wrong, and he isn't hiding anything at all? Can't wait to hear your guesses. Next chapter will be up the weekend of August 31.