Paint and Powder

A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Enterprise: "Yesterday's Piece of the Action"

2402

Riverside, Iowa

Deanna Riker nee Troi was visiting with Edith (Enterprise) at the farm, both enjoying some chocolate ice cream in the kitchen. Troi hummed in approval as she ate the homemade stuff.

"Mmm... Great job!" She complimented Edith.

"Thank you," Edith said cheerfully, "the old fashioned ways take longer, but I like the difference in texture and sweetness!"

"Mmhm," Troi said with a nod. "You know, I learned something interesting... About something that happened last week."

"Oh?" Edith asked, putting another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

"Involving... A Corvette?"

Edith choked on her ice cream, and shot a glare at the now smug Troi.

"Oh? Did you?" Edith managed. Deanna smirked, and held out her tricorder.

She hit 'play'.

A holographic video played... Of a red 1965 Corvette Stingray, upside down, in a ditch. As Edith frantically talked to two police officers.

"OH COME ON!" Edith growled. "That was not my fault!"

"Scotty begs to differ," Deanna said smugly. Edith froze.

"No... He swore he'd never tell-!"

"I got him scotch."

Edith sighed angrily.

"Of course you did..."

"Unless he was exaggerating?" Deanna asked.

Edith winced.

2282

Starfleet Academy, San Francisco

"Glad you got to use this gynoid, Enterprise," James T. Kirk said, standing with Edith next to an Iotian automobile, "can't wait to try out this old Iotian beauty!"

"It does look just like a 1931 Cadillac V12," Enterprise said admiringly. She got up into the passenger side, as Kirk took the driver's seat. "Though I'm afraid we can't go far-The relay signal isn't very strong."

"Just getting to drive around this beauty is enough," Kirk chuckled. He started the car, hit the gas... And stalled out almost immediately. Enterprise couldn't help her snicker, as Kirk shot her a wounded look.

"It's been a while since I drove a manual! It's an option on the Corvette!" Kirk said defensively.

"I didn't say anything!" Enterprise giggled. She beamed. "But you know, the Iotians might be offended if we damage it. Why don't I drive it?"

Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Enterprise, you've never even driven a car before-"

"No, but I have access to the sum total of all mankind's knowledge," Enterprise said haughtily. She switched seats with Kirk, and slid into the driver's seat easily with a happy smile.

"How hard could it be?"

She put it into gear, hit the gas... And two seconds later, the Cadillac had backed up into a parked hovercar with a loud crunch. Followed by the car alarm of the struck vehicle.

The street lamp the hovercar had been parked next to fell like a chopped down tree, the light source smashing as sparks burst from its head.

A fire response vehicle's sirens blared in the distance.

Enterprise sucked in a deep breath through her artificial nostrils. She could feel Kirk's smug face.

"Not. A word."

2404

"That was an isolated incident!" Edith said defensively.

"You literally gave me hell for years over my piloting!" Deanna shot back.

"Ah, but here's the difference, Deanna," Edith stated, "I may have crashed a few cars. But I never crashed myself. TWICE!"

Just a bit of levity. Kirk's dad had that Corvette in both timelines-But young!Kirk crashed it in the Kelvinverse. Here, Kirk left it to Enterprise.

Which Enterprise crashed.

It's like poetry, it rhymes.