This chapter is a continuation of 19, as they were originally one chapter. If you haven't read 19, or have any doubts, it doesn't hurt to click the 'back button' just in case.

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CHAPTER 20:

Epiphany

He worked as hard as he could to clean up the mess that Goku made in the kitchen. Ten opened bags were thrown everywhere, on the counters and on the floor. The microwave had a thin layer of black soot lining it, which seemed almost impossible to get out. The whole kitchen reeked of burnt popcorn. It just made Trunks so angry that Goku could be such a slob.

Granted, Trunks knew that he himself wasn't the neatest person around and often left his things in a disorderly array back at home, but living with Goku and Pan really gave him a reality check. He suddenly felt like the maid, cleaning up after them, even though Pan spent most of her time complaining that she was the one doing all the work. He just accepted that as part of her personality: she liked taking the credit for things, yet blamed everyone else if something went wrong. However much that trait got on his nerves sometimes, he learned enjoyed it either way. It was just another thing that he'd grown to appreciate about her throughout the trip.

As he scrubbed the microwave, he found himself once again thinking about Pan. Lately, she had been on his mind more often. At first, after Kikaru a couple of months ago, it had unnerved him that he could waste so many hours of thought on the girl, but nowadays he found himself somewhat enjoying having her on his mind. She gave him a lot of things to think about.

He smiled as he remembered how she had snuck onto the ship, how angry he had been that day. He was upset enough as it was that he was being forced to go on the trip, but the only thing that had kept him from blowing up at his father was the fact that Goten would be coming along with him. Being able to travel with his best friend sounded like it could potentially have been fun. It also would have given them the chance to spend time with each other again, time which Trunks had severely been lacking these past few years of being the president of Capsule Corporation.

When he found out that Pan had come instead of Goten, all he could think about was how to return home and kick her off the ship. Although he knew he would never have acted on any of his ideas, he began to daydream about different ways he could maroon her on planets, leave her behind for a year, and then come back for her right before returning to Earth. He knew that she'd just get in the way, and it was all he could do to keep himself from strangling her.

What really ticked him off more than her audacious personality and impatience was the fact that she always, without exception, volunteered them to play "hero" in order to get the dragonballs. And then she would blame Goku or himself for getting them into trouble, claiming that she was the one who always seemed to rescue them or save their lives. For a very long time, Trunks bottled in his anger, doing his best to hide it, dreaming of how happy he would be if she somehow died, yet knowing if that were to happen, he most likely be just as upset as Goku. It had been nice to dream it, though.

That was until she had been turned into a doll by Lord Ludo seven months into the trip. They had been separated when she accidentally hijacked the Parapara brothers' ship and went to face Cardinal Muchi-Mochi alone to get the Six Star Dragonball. Trunks had seriously thought that he and Goku would never see her again after she was turned into a doll and thrown into that giant cauldron. It tore him up inside during the entire fight to free her, to get her back. Inwardly, he had blamed himself for everything that happened, for all the curses he had wished upon her. He didn't know what to do to get her back other than to fight for her, even after Lord Ludo had absorbed her, no matter how hopeless it had seemed at the time.

It was at that point he realized how much she had grown on him, how he was beginning to accept her as a friend. Crazy, wild, and immature, but still a friend. She was better than a lot of other people he knew in his life, and she never actually intended a lot of the grief that she caused him. She always meant well, and he felt a little nostalgic to realize this, as she began to remind him a lot of himself when he was younger.

For some time after that, he began to feel a little protective of her. Not much, but enough that when they went to M2 and ran into General Rildo and Dr. Myruu, Trunks found himself instinctively jumping in front of her, trying to shield her from attacks. He had spent a great deal of time pondering his actions and had at one point concluded that he did that because he was afraid that Pan getting hurt might mean an extra delay on the trip. Now, when he looked back, he wasn't so sure if it was that, or if it was the fact that he began to see her as more than a friend... more like... a partner with whom he could work alongside Goku to find the dragonballs. In either case, it was evidently clear that Trunks had still thought of her as baggage and would have preferred if Goten had come along instead.

However, their experience on Kikaru changed everything.

Trunks threw some extra kernels in the compost bin. He took out a paper towel, wet it in the sink, and began to wipe down the surface, staring beyond the tile as his memories tried to trace the recent events that had unfolded these past two months.

After letting out his steam during that spar with Goku, Trunks had never felt so alive. He was ready to take on anything, as if he were starting with a clean slate. He was even ready to marry the girl whom he had spent so long disliking with a passion. All for a dragonball. At least she had become his friend by that point, so it wasn't too hard on him. It was easy to just play it off as some game, some sick joke he could blame on Goku, but the memory of that day still stuck with him.

At the beginning of the trip, when he looked at Pan, he pictured confinement, a year-long babysitting job without any benefits except the brief chances he'd get to be alone in the cockpit and not have to worry about looking at her. He would think of how she stored the main operation key in her bra and slept with it for several weeks so he couldn't turn the ship around and send her back home. But after Kikaru, when he looked at Pan, he didn't see the brat so much anymore, but rather the gregarious young girl who spent too many years fantasizing of being the world's hero, to live up to her both her grandfathers and her father before her, to prove herself. Now, when he looked at her, he saw a blossoming young lady still trying to find her own identity, to figure out her future and who she wanted to be. He looked at her and he saw a companion, a girl whose ring he wore every day and never once tried to take it off. He saw her as a girl who had saved his life back on the Planet Vidal by just being there and supporting him when he was trying to fight so hard to save both Goku and himself.

It was on the Planet Vidal that he realized he would have died if Goten had come along on the trip. When he had been there, trapped in his own body, it was taking everything in his power to gain enough control to slightly deflect a ki blast. Pan had just stood there and watched him, afraid to touch him, for what Baby could have done to her in his body. Pan had watched him attack Goku and cried. Those tears brought him back as he struggled to regain control of his body.

Unlike Pan, Goten would have attacked him. He would have seen Trunks about to kill Goku, and he knew Goten. He knew that his friend would have defended his father, even if it meant to attack and possibly kill Trunks. If Goten would have done that, Trunks would have never had the ability to regain control of his body again, assuming it would have been possible in the first place for him to find a way out of the void without that light that looked so much like Pan's face.

Trunks was no idiot. He was able to figure out that the burning in his finger directly correlated with that light that he saw on Pan's hand back on Ladrone (or "Planet Bulma" as Pan liked to call it). He knew that those rings were able to light up, as he had seen the same metal glow several times back on Kikaru. If he had not seen Babidi's magic in person twenty years ago, he would have had a hard time admitting that the rings could be magical themselves, triggering something inside them when they thought the other was in danger. The thought didn't settle well in his stomach, but he pushed that thought aside and began to think of Pan again, and what she had done to him back on that roof a week ago, before the whole incident happened where she went nuts on that blue haired girl and her husband.

She had hugged him. She had held him as if there were no tomorrow, throwing down all her walls and barriers so that she could express her need to have him close to her. It had come out of nowhere, as if it were something she had been holding in for a long time and couldn't hold back anymore. They had not talked about it since then, but like all things that happened on this trip so far, it had become a centerpiece of thought.

What got to him was that it didn't disturb him that she held him so close when she did. If she would have hugged him like that at the beginning of the trip, he would have pushed her away and told her to grow up. He would have torn her pride without a second thought and would have once again resumed his daydreams of abandoning her on some desert planet similar to the one they had encountered right before M2, convincing himself that he would not have been the source of her tears of rejection.

The more he thought about it, though, he realized that she wouldn't have hugged him in the first place earlier in the trip. It was only after he started really opening himself up to her that she began to reciprocally lower her walls as well. At first, whenever she hugged anybody, it was always Goku. Yet, after the incident on the planet Vidal, she began hugging him.

He didn't count the kiss on Kikaru as any display of affection. It actually was quite the contrary. He had an inkling that she forced a kiss on him just to be spiteful about the fact that he refused to kiss her at the altar, not because she really wanted one. For all that he could tell, that most probably had been her first kiss. He knew that she had been having boy issues back on Earth before coming on this trip. For the first month of the journey, she had not shut up about it, so he knew that the kiss should have meant something to her, even though she threw it away as if it were a weapon to stab his ego. That kiss was one of the last remnants of their bad terms, an encore to the strained relationship they had experienced for several months before.

But everything changed after Kikaru. He really began to realize how much she meant to him. But what she said... a best friend? Since when had he become her best friend? They had hardly hit it off in the beginning, and she was quite aware of the fact that he had wanted to replace her with Goten for a long time. But lately, these past two months, things had taken off for them.

It was as if they finally began to understand each other. He had finally learned to appreciate her enough that he no longer did things for her because he had to, but because he wanted to. Just like tonight, he went out of his way to surprise her with that film, cooking popcorn for the two of them to share, sitting next to her and laughing with her for the short amount of time that it lasted.

The truth of the whole situation was that he only went out of his way for one other person in his life, and even his mother had never seen some of the smiles that Trunks had been wearing lately. Even though his body had grown older over the years, inside he was the same kid who always longed for adventure, no matter how dangerous it could be. However, at first, he had stunted that. He had put up barriers around that urge he felt inside. He had convinced himself that he had changed, that he wanted to play it safe, to stay out of harm's way. It helped him live through his days sitting behind a desk, not having to think about what journeys he could be taking, what new cultures and planets he could be exploring. The feeling had lain dormant in him for so long, it took Pan several months of grinding her personality into him for him to realize...no... not realize, but remember the feelings he used to have, the person he used to be.

He realized now that he was glad she came on this trip. She had really affected his life, and was still affecting him. He was growing from her as she was growing on him. He was becoming a better person because of her friendship. If that didn't make her his best friend, he didn't know what would.

It was just funny that it had to take a marriage with her for him to begin to realize how much she meant to him.

He held out his hand and looked at his wedding ring. It was a translucent gold color, highlighting yellow reflections from the light above him. It really was a beautiful ring, and it held so much significance to him, he wasn't sure if he even wanted to take it off anymore.

Something seemed to hit his gut, and he found himself unable to breathe for a moment. He realized something. He realized that Goku had seen it all along, and he had been teasing them, not to anger them, but to get them to think about it... about... the possibility of them falling in love one day...

Trunks shook his head. But Trunks didn't love people. He appreciated, even adored people. He loved people as friends and as family. But being in love was not in his nature. He had never been in love, and he had no desire for it. That was a large part of the reason why he was still single and hadn't dated anyone since he was in college even though his mother kept persisting that she wanted grandchildren within her lifetime.

Besides, Pan was just a girl. Whatever feelings he was beginning to have for her now would fade after he would resume working in the real world. Just like his best friendship with Goten became a secondary priority, his best friendship with Pan would be doomed to the same fate. His life was just destined for disappointment.

However, he knew that he still had one more month with her. He wanted, more than anything, to keep her happy during these last weeks he'd have with her. It was just a shame that it took this long for him to realize how attached he had become to her. With or without Goku teasing him, he would do everything in his power to maintain his growing friendship with Pan.

Trunks stood back and admired the spotlessness of the kitchen. It looked brand-spanking-new. He folded his arms and nodded, impressed with his work. Now he had one more job to do. He turned off the kitchen lights and headed for the bedroom.

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As he opened the door, he noticed the lights were off and Giru was on standby mode on the edge of his bed. He looked up to the top bed and saw that Pan had nestled herself under the covers. He kept the door open a crack so he could see as he tiptoed as quietly as he could over to the side of her bunk.

The room was extremely cold, he noticed. It was one of the first rooms to experience the chill that he set on the thermostat. He had purposely kept the kitchen warm so as not to accidentally freeze all the food, but the rest of the ship had begun to get slightly icy.

He had set the temperature of the bedroom to be just above freezing, so they would not get hypothermia in their sleep. But it was still very cold. It was hard to imagine how freezing this new planet would be. He felt a slight bit of concern for Pan. He wanted her to stay healthy. Whatever Goku decided to do about the chill, Trunks really didn't care. It was Goku's responsibility to get a jacket, and since he didn't, he'd have to suffer for it. But Pan didn't deserve to be cold like this. He wanted to make sure she was okay. And, he wanted to apologize for his rudeness before. She had left the room on a bad note, and he wanted to make sure he could correct it.

Realizing her bed was too high for him to get a good look at her, he raised his ki slightly and levitated himself off the floor, hovering beside Pan's resting form.

He was only able to look at her a moment before she turned to him, her blanket covering her body up to her neck. She opened her eyes slowly and they just looked at each other for a time. He brought his left hand over and gently moved some bangs away from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Trunks whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings back in the lounge. I had assumed that you'd take the film lightly, and I was inconsiderate of your reaction." He rested his hand on her cheek briefly. "Can you forgive me?"

A long silence hung between them as they looked at each other.

Trunks watched her eyes in the dim lighting, his hand beginning to run his fingers through her hair in tender strokes. Her hair was so soft, it was a shame she always hid it under her bandana and didn't grow it longer.

The shadows made everything seem a dark shade of blue. The air felt crisp and they could see their breath forming slight clouds of condensation which merged into each other as their faces were so close.

She broke her gaze from him and looked down. "I'm cold."

He thought of her shivering under her covers. He held his breath in as he studied her face, and let it out when he smiled sadly, "It's going to get even colder tonight." His fingers brushed her cheek and traced her jawbone to her chin. His fingers lingered beneath her lips for a brief moment, then he ran them through her hair again, for once, appreciating how pretty she looked in the dim blue lighting, with her midnight hair splayed so carelessly about her pillow.

Pan smiled at him, her eyes lighting up as his gaze on her had changed from one of concern to one of adoration. She brought her right hand out from under her blankets and ran her fingers down his face similar to the way his own had had been tracing hers. Trunks brought his hand up and covered her hand with his, holding it still for a moment.

His eyes flickered a for a moment, as if deciding on whether he should say something that was on his mind. Pan wanted to ask him what was troubling him, why came in to apologize for something that was so trivial. She sensed there was a lot riding on the next words he chose. She watched him take a breath, his face completely serious.

"Pan..." Trunks looked into her eyes. "I want to do something... something I've thought about for some time, but something that is really important to me, and unless I do this now, it might never happen."

Pan frowned a bit and began to sit up, but his hand stopped her as he gave a reluctant smile. "I would like to know if..." His face became serious again and he leaned closer, "if I could give you our wedding kiss... properly."

She wanted to sit up straight and ask 'Where did that come from? Where are you going with this? Why now? Why a kiss? Why do you even care? How is that still on your mind? How would it make any difference?' and a thousand other questions raging in her mind. Instead, her eyes opened wide and she took a sharp intake of breath. She was confused, no, more than confused. She was completely dumbfounded as to how he could possibly come up with that after teasing her about her father not even two hours ago.

He moved his hand down to her cheek again, the adoration in his eyes scaring her. She was almost afraid that this wasn't Trunks at all, but the impostor that had attacked her several weeks ago during his haircut. What had happened to him? Why was he suddenly acting like this? She felt his fingers run through her hair again as he watched her. What was he doing? Why was he doing this? It felt so strange to have him touch her like that, to be affectionate with her. It was something she was not used to, and she was most definitely sure he didn't do this often with anybody.

She could feel herself blinking slowly, breathing deeply as her heart raced. Every time she blinked, it was as if her lids were getting heavier, as if she were falling under some lulling spell. She didn't like it. She felt like she couldn't control her own body anymore. Something had taken over Trunks and now it was taking her over too. She had no voice to call out for help, and even if she did, she didn't know if she could at this point. Everything was closing in fast. Her body froze, her eyes closed. It was a darkness that passed and blinded her. It scared her that she couldn't see, she couldn't watch him, couldn't see the look in his eyes anymore, could scarcely feel the hand that cradled her cheek. She barely felt his lips like feathers lightly touching hers.

And then suddenly, her mind went blank. Everything just seemed to shut off. All the panic and emotions that had been like a cacophony of music in her mind vanished. Her breathing stopped, her heart fluttered, the cold room slipped away as his lips lingered on hers like the first drop of rain before the storm.

And before she knew it, before she was able to bring her mind to its senses, it was over. It had only been for a brief moment, scarcely several seconds, but it was enough to cause her blood to rage inside her like rapids leading to a waterfall.

When she was finally able to open her eyes, she saw him still hovering next to her, smiling. She gaped back, at a complete loss of what to say. Everything that had been clouding her mind beforehand had just been swept away by the current.

"Sleep next to me tonight." Trunks stated it more like a question, his hand resuming its touch on her icy cheek. "Share my body warmth. I promise I'll keep you warm."

It all seemed to just happen out of nowhere. It was so surprising to Pan. She didn't know how to react, what to say. It would be her second time sleeping next to this impostor Trunks, but this time it was he who invited her to his side. "I..." She swallowed, trying to form a coherent phrase, "I thought you don't hold people."

He smiled and shook his head, "I don't..." He closed his eyes briefly and opened them looking beyond her, "But you're my best friend."

She could feel tears forming in her eyes. It was hard to believe that Trunks was doing this. He never did anything like this. She didn't think he was capable of doing something this sweet. She once again found herself at a loss for words and at a loss for thought.

She felt his hand retract a little and reach under her, picking her up from under her knees while his other arm moved under her back. He lifted her gently against his chest, blankets and all, and slowly brought his feet to the floor, lying her down in his usual resting place on the bed, the far side, against the window.

Trunks took her blankets and placed them back on her bunk as she got under the covers. After she was settled in, he nodded with a smile, "I'll be right back."

Trunks left the room quickly, determined to grab their coats from the lounge, knowing that if he didn't get them now, they'd have to run around in –100 degrees without proper clothing. As he entered the room, he saw the lights were still on and Goku had fallen asleep on the couch, a blue screen on the television where the movie had ended some time ago.

He opened the closet and took out a spare blanket to lie over the sleeping Saiyan. He grabbed the coats and shut off the television. Before leaving, he paused to glance back at Goku, then turned off the lights.

After he had finished making sure everything was shut down properly in the ship, he re-entered the bedroom, kicked off his shoes, and untied his bandana, lying it on a chair on top of some of Goku's gis. He walked over to the bed and slid under the covers, fully dressed because it was too cold for him to change. He turned to look at Pan.

Her eyes were closed and fluttering slightly. Her slow breaths made small clouds in the low temperature, and she seemed to be shivering slightly. He brought his hand up to her face and lightly traced her right eyebrow for a moment, thinking of how he had never watched her sleep before, and she looked so innocent and peaceful as she dreamed.

He hesitated a bit, and put his arm around her, drawing her closer so they could share more heat. She took one sharp intake of breath, as if she were on the verge of waking, and then relaxed, mumbling something incoherent under her breath.

He smiled slightly and whispered before closing his eyes, "Goodnight Pan-chan."

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When Goku awoke, it must have been several hours later. Someone had lain a blanket on him and left him to sleep on the couch. It was freezing cold, and Goku was shivering uncontrollably, his skin like ice.

"AaaaaaCHOO!" He sneezed a few times before his sinuses settled. He was so tired. He couldn't wait to get into his nice warm bed.

He yawned and stretched lazily, opening and closing his mouth to wake his muscles up a bit. He was hungry. That burnt popcorn started tasting pretty bad after a while, and even finishing off Trunks' and Pan's popcorn didn't settle his stomach. Perhaps he could wake up Pan and have her make him something.

As his brain was waking up, so was his common sense. Oh yeah, she's not cooking for a week. Goku scratched his head and considered waking Trunks up, but he thought against it. Trunks wasn't in the best of moods the last time he saw him.

He figured he'd just ignore his stomach and go to bed. He could make something when everyone woke up. He stood up and dragged the blanket with him out the door and to the bedroom.

The door was slightly ajar, so he pushed it gently, swinging it open silently. As the hall light hit the room, something interesting also hit his vision. Trunks and Pan were sleeping next to each other again, except this time Pan was in Trunks' usual spot and Trunks was on Goku's side. This was highly unusual. They didn't accidentally fall asleep while under the covers together, did they? Why were they sleeping so close? What could this possibly mean? Goku's eyes lit up at the prospect of great grandchildren. It was happening right before his eyes. He knew it all along!

He raised his ki to hover above the ground, and flew silently to pick up the blankets from Pan's usual bunk. He'd let them have their privacy tonight. He could take the couch again, but he needed several more layers. In the morning, he'd have to complain to Trunks about the heating system being broken.

He closed the door with a little click and then decided to stop by the kitchen to refuel his stomach. When he entered the doors, it was as if a heat wave suddenly melted all the ice that had formed around his hair. It was delightfully warm in here! Turning on the light, he changed his plans and laid the blankets on the kitchen table while he grabbed some pre-made turkey sandwiches from the fridge.

The kitchen looked abnormally clean. He could have sworn that it looked nothing like this the last time he was in here. He shrugged and ate his sandwich, focusing on the turkey's flavor.

After he had his fill, he turned off the lights and lay down on the table, covering himself with one of the blankets. It was just like sleeping on the floor... except, on a table. The kitchen table: his favorite place in the entire universe.

He closed his eyes and thought of what Pan's children would look like someday. He imagined himself taking them to the park, riding on rollercoasters with them, eating ice cream and swimming in the ocean. He couldn't wait. If everything went well back on Earth, he could continue his little matchmaking game. It was all too easy.

His last thought before he fell asleep was that it just too bad that the camera was destroyed...

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-Completed 10/27/04-

-Uploaded 10/31/03-

(WARNING: Long Note. Read at your own risk!!!): As a Halloween present, I decided to post the chapter a day early. I hope you all had fun partying last night, and/or will get a ton of candy tonight. I think a part of my good mood came from the football win yesterday: Michigan beat Michigan State 45 to 37 (in the last 6 minutes of the game it was 10 to 27, so that was quite a comeback after three overtimes!). Have a Happy Halloween. I dressed up as Bulma and went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show where EVERYONE recognized me (hehe).

Anyway! Kudos to my faithful readers X) Already, you guys have read 133 pages of 12 pt single spaced Times New Roman font with over 77,000 words. And I haven't even gotten to the heart of the Baby Saga yet!!!

After writing this chapter, I realized how much I want to write a prequel to this story, covering all the Lost Episodes of "Goku's Humored" so people can really see how much the friendship between Trunks and Pan has truly evolved since the beginning. It will make a lot of my first chapters make a lot more sense, and it will also emphasize the fact that Trunks is, in fact, becoming a rounded character (rounded in English literary terms means his personality evolves throughout the story). If you go back 19 chapters (to Chapter 1) now, and start over, you'll notice how different his attitude was toward Pan. Imagine going back 40 chapters. Anyway, it's just a thought: the only other fan-fiction I can imagine myself writing.

Oh and I have one more comment, for one reviewer in particular, but I'm sure you all may want to hear this:

After the Baby Saga, the Z gang will get 3 wishes from Porunga (the Namekian dragon). The first is to wish back Earth (as was on GT), the second is to transfer everyone back onto Earth (implied in GT), and the third wish was completely disregarded in GT, which I shall, (like always), fill in: Goku will be wished back into an adult. Don't expect him to stay young the entire series. I agree with several reviewers of mine, little Goku can get severely annoying, and although I want to stick to the GT plot as much as I can, I just thought it was pointless for him to stay so young throughout GT after the Baby Saga. So, I'm fixing it. But don't lead yourself to believe that Goku being grown up is in any way going to make him less of a comic relief! I love Goku : )