Round 1: Dark Samus vs. Yoshi
"My name's Yoshi, of the Yoshi tribe," said the on-screen Yoshi in the now infamous interview hot seat.
"That's something I always wanted to ask you," began an off-camera Nikki. Your name is Yoshi, but your species is also called Yoshi?"
"You inherit the name when you become the chief of Yoshi Island," said Yoshi with a shrug, "It's like having an honorific, except it becomes your name. It's been so long since anyone referred to me by my birth name I can't remember it," Yoshi said.
"Oh…" Nikki said, clearly flummoxed as she cleared her throat, "So, your tournament record..."
Yoshi chuckled, "Isn't so good,"
"I wouldn't say it's 'not good," just that you've been unlucky in the first round."
"Yeah, because all these other people are born fighters. Put up against impossible odds. Joker, for example, changed the consciousness of his whole world and uses powers gifted to him by the devil with the ease at which I eat lunch. Me? The only time I've ever gotten up off my ass is when the island is in danger. Every other success I've had is because Mario, the man I consider a son, has let his old man ride his coattails. Not anymore Nikki! Today I rise above what people think of me, and I step up and put my people on the map,"
"And I wish you the best of luck with that," Nikki continued, "Now…Dark Samus..."
"Isn't anything new to me. I've trained with Samus a few times, back in The 12, and when the veteran and newcomer cliques were real bad in the Melee era. Those other eleven are some of the people I know the best in a combat context, and Dark Samus is no exception."
Suddenly, the camera cut to a different scene entirely. Ridley was glaring into Nikki's camera now, Dark Samus growling and pacing behind him,
"I heard what that stupid dinosaur had to say," hissed Ridley, his ember-like eyes glowing with sadistic joy, "Can a simple clone overcome this new, determined Yoshi? Maybe, maybe not. But Yoshi, Smashers of the congregation, have you considered that perhaps you're not fighting a simple clone? Have you considered that you are fighting a heartless, ruthless barbarian? A being sculpted by cruelty, and fueled by rage? Or, put simply, a beast? A beast whose natural instinct is to inflict pain?"
"W-what is Dark Samus' motivation?" asked Nikki, who was trembling in fear off camera.
Ridley cackled, "The affirmation Dark Samus seeks is her prey's broken bones, their gnarled flesh. She does not eat or sleep, she only hunts her prey. No one will ever forget what she is about to do. Because you see, there are 100 fighters, three from my universe including myself, ten or more from Yoshi's universe. But do you know what the most important number is Nikki?"
"W-what's that?"
Ridley held up a single, sharpened claw an evil smile tugging at his avian maw, "One. Because Dark Samus will be the last one standing, atop a thrown of the flesh of her victims. And you will bow to the queen."
"B-but Mister Ridley, what if it comes down to you and her?"
Ridley suddenly frowned, Dark Samus suddenly stopped pacing, glaring into the camera, a low, unending hiss escaping the Phazon creature's throat.
"We don't entertain hypotheticals. Remember that, or else I'll give Dark Samus permission to do what she wants. Let's go!"
Dark Samus bounded out of the room, a grinning Ridley following behind.
The footage cut back to Cranky and 9-Volt, both open-mouthed in horror.
"Sweet Banana Bird remind me not to meet them in a dark alley," Cranky was the first one to compose himself.
"F-Futaba, do the t-thing," quivered 9-Volt.
"Look, I mean, no disrespect to the old man, he gulped down more strawberry cream pie than anyone I've ever met, but what the hell do you think? I genuinely think Dark Samus could be unstoppable with Ridley motivating her," she explained.
"Alright, let's throw it down to entrances," 9-Volt said.
Yoshi skipped merrily, down the hallway, his eyes burning with fire despite his aloof demeanor. In contrast, on the other side of the screen, Dark Samus floated with great speed down the hallway, occasionally breaking to screech and punch a wall because she could.
The green dinosaur was out first, coming out to a chorus of singing Yoshis backed by tropical sounding instruments. The stadium erupted into cheers near-unanimously
"This song," Cranky explained, "Is a folk song about how the Yoshis saved their island from being turned into a book by Baby Bowser. It's considered one of the best pieces of music to come out of Yoshi's Island."
"Folk tale? Yoshi might need a fairy tale to get himself the win." 9-Volt shouted.
Cranky raised an eyebrow, "What's gotten into you boy? Usually, I'm the one with quips like that."
"You do it to be an asshole, old man," snapped 9-Volt. "I consider myself very realistic. And realistically, Yoshi is fighting an animal that has been given free rein to do what it wants. He'll have to think his way out if he wants a sliver of a chance."
The music stopped, and Dark Samus appeared, to the boos of nearly the entire stadium. Dark Samus look left, then right, snarling. She then raised her arm threateningly to the audience that towered above them.
"Cranky, it's not gonna…" 9-Volt gasped, abject horror in his voice.
BOOM!
Dark Samus fired a missile at the crowd. Luckily, the invisible blast shield, put in to prevent just such a danger, absorbed the blast. Suddenly, the shock collar around Dark Samus' neck activated, dropping the Phazon creature to her knees. Her head snapped up, glaring at Yoshi. At first, she crawled, but then stood straight, gliding towards the center of the stage, a throaty snarl emanating from her.
"The following contest is a first-round match in the Smash Ultimate Tournament! The winner will face either Kirby or Fox in the next round. Introducing first, in the corner to my left, Dark Samus!"
The crowd booed, Mills Frames continuing after it died down, "And introducing in the corner to my right, from the Mario universe, Yoshi,"
The crowd erupted into cheers, the chirps of "Yoshi" from his kinfolk the loudest of all.
"If the Yoshi wins the…" Mills continued.
Suddenly, Yoshi leaned forward, whispering something to Mills.
Mills turned away from Yoshi to radio something to the administration. Lasting a few seconds, but feeling like an eternity for the confused crowd, Mills finally turned back to him.
"Yoshi has informed me that he wishes to forfeit his right to stage selection,"
As the crowd clamored amongst itself, 9-Volt asked, "What? What could Yoshi's rationale be? Cranky?"
"If you keep an animal in its habitat, therefore you can sus out its routine I suppose? The opposite being the old saying about a cornered animal."
"Therefore," Mills continued as the confusion died down, " The stage will be Frigate Orpheon. The rules are, two stocks, items low. Smashers ready?"
Dark Samus continued to growl, while Yoshi simply nodded.
Rules: 2 Stock, Items All Low
Stage: Frigate Orpheon
Music: Opening/Menu-Metroid Prime
Yoshi hatched out of a green egg, Dark Samus appeared from a Phazon haze, her shock collar disappearing.
"3
2
1
GO!"
Yoshi and Dark Samus charged each other, meeting in the center of the metallic, conservatively lit stage of Frigate Orpheon, the Parasite Queen yowling at them in the background. Yoshi's tongue lashed out, and Dark Samus' Grapple Beam unfurled. The two grappling tools intertwined amongst each other. Both Phazon creature and dinosaur dug their feet in, in a primal tug of war for the advantage. With a mighty heave, Dark Samus pulled him towards her, grasping her free hand around Yoshi's neck when she was in range. With one hand, it picked him up, slamming him down on the ground. Yoshi laid unmoving, splayed out. Dark Samus cocked its head to one side, examining her prey's vulnerable form as best as its primal mind could. Grasping him by his neck again, it brought him to his feet, once again cocking its head to examine Yoshi. With an annoyed huff, Dark Samus raised up Yoshi once more. Suddenly, Yoshi bit down on Dark Samus' knuckles, causing it to shriek in pain. Yoshi used the distraction to pummel Dark Samus with his signature Flutter Kick.
"Well, I'll be my own uncle!" Cranky shrieked visibly much looser now, "Yoshi was playing possum!"
"Or playing Yoshi!" quipped 9-Volt.
"How many hours did it take you to think up that one last night?"
"Hey!"
With a final kick in the barrage of Flutter Kicks, Dark Samus was spent sprawling left. Yoshi followed it up with an egg toss, a green egg landing right on top of it, sending it into the air. Yoshi wants again used his tongue to suck in Dark Samus, spitting it as hard as he could at the ground, jumping into the air to follow it, and hitting it with an upward pelt of his tail. However, a small burst of Phazon infused fire, and a downward blast of the goop was enough to turn the tide. Yoshi used his momentum, however, to stall on the lowering platform to the right. Dark Samus growled impudently, firing a barrage of charge shots and missiles, which Yoshi artfully dodged. Finally closing the gap, Yoshi wants again consumed Dark Samus, spitting it into the air and backing off.
"So that's his strategy eh? Go in between potshots and full-on combos?" Cranky observed.
"It would seem so Cranky. Although I can't say being conservative against a dangerous opponent like Dark Samus is exactly unwise."
Dodging more projectiles finally set Dark Samus off, letting forth a snake-like hiss, finally jumping to attack Yoshi wish a strike. However, Yoshi saw this coming and kicked Samus light enough to throw off the creature. Immediately after, a Franklin Badge appeared, which Yoshi picked up almost as soon as it materialized. Dodging more strikes and more projectiles by rolling in his Egg Shield form, finally, a missile hit the egg, deflecting back at Dark Samus. Two upward tail whips followed by letting the stunned Phazon clone fall to the ground for a measured Ground Pound. Yoshi attempted to follow it up with a headbutt, but misjudged the distance by mere inches, allowing Dark Samus to slap him with such force that the Franklin Badge fell off of him and onto Dark Samus when it grabbed the badge. Yoshi once again created distance between himself in the monster, miming as if the loss of the Franklin Badge mattered to him on a bit. Closing the gap again, jumping over a shoulder check, Dark Samus cried out in annoyance. A second shoulder check was dodged by Yoshi again. This time, however, Yoshi lashed out with his tail and using the inches the twisted version of Samus was propelled into the air to hit a Somersault kick. A Smash Ball appeared; an alarm went off as the room darkened. The stage flipped so that the center platform was now one instead of two. As Yoshi landed, Dark Samus used a screw attack to propel the volleyball-like Smash Ball into the air. Dark Samus had attempted to fire a missile to dissuade Yoshi from the Smash Ball, but a Ground Pound blocked the missile. Yoshi landed right in front of the Smash Ball, which was now lying idly on the main platform, only for Dark Samus to throw its body into it. As the Smash Ball's power combined with the sinister Phazon, Dark Samus cocked its arm canon back, a titanic blast of Phazon enveloping the still stunned Yoshi, taking his stock.
Yoshi: 1
Dark Samus: 2
As Yoshi appeared back on stage, an Ore Club appeared. Yoshi brought it closer with his tongue. Three small tornadoes and a full-strength wallop with the Club sent Dark Samus off stage.
Yoshi: 1
Dark Samus: 1
Dark Samus wasted no time jumping off of the revival platform to fire a missile directly into Yoshi's eyes, causing the now blinded tribal leader to drop the Ore Club. Dark Samus attempted to simply bat away Yoshi with the Ore Club, but Yoshi easily countered it with a barrage of tail jabs after a light hop into the air. Another tail jab followed up by a Ground Pound called the animal made of Phazon to drop the Ore Club. Now Yoshi grabbed it, briefly twirling it in his hands.
Hmm, didn't Palutena say once that the lighter an Ore Club is, the less Tornado Power it has? Crazy thing makes a decent bludgeoning weapon, but that means I'll only have wind powers for a short while now. Best to be conservative with it, thought Yoshi.
Running at Dark Samus and thrusting the Ore Club into Dark Samus, the leader of the Yoshi Tribe tracked his opponent with his eyes. He had intended to step back and fire a gust from the Ore as it landed, but once again he'd underestimated Dark Samus' vertical leap. Sweeping a Phazon-infused pillar of fire at him, the intense flames knocked Yoshi back. As soon as his skull connected with the ground, Yoshi felt intense heat, followed by the toxic stink of Phazon come closer and closer. Finally, the source of the garish smell connected. It was a fully charge Charged Blast, a sensation he felt many times training with Samus.
Except, she has to charge that, fretted a bewildered Yoshi.
As soon as Yoshi landed, he cursed himself. Just like Meta-Knight had in the previous battle, he had taken his eye off the ball. Yoshi felt the blast of a Deku Nut before he heard the explosion. Yoshi had mere seconds to think about how fretting like an old man instead of improvising and adapting had cost him before he met the Blast Zone.
"DARK SAMUS WINS!"
In the Smash Mansion courtyard, Dark Samus had her back to the camera, suddenly whipping around and yanking the camera closer before the splash screen simultaneously declared its victory.
Meanwhile, Rita was interviewing Yoshi, sat against the wall, tears welling up in his eyes.
"How can either Fox or Kirby take on an animal like that?" shouted Rita, shaking with shock.
"Dark Samus is strong, but it's an animal. It can be out-thought, out-strategized. Some of the more technical Smashers can probably pick up a duke against it. Someone better than me," sighed Yoshi, standing up and sulking up the tunnel.
Mister Zero shook like a leaf as Dark Samus seethed into the mic, "C-c-c-congratulations on your victory."
Using her grappling beam, Dark Samus pulled the camera closer as it had on the Courtyard.
"NO ONE. SURVIVES ME," bellowed Dark Samus, throwing the unsuspecting camera operator into the wall behind her, skulking up the tunnel.
When Dark Samus arrived, it was met by the congratulations of Ridley and the rest of the villains. Dark Samus felt warm.
Is this what I want? To be surrounded by friends, came a rare thought for the Phazon monster.
Dark Samus growled, shoving past villains, putting the thought out of its head. Her gaze snapped to Yoshi, who was silently weeping in a group hug contested of both Phantom Thieves and the Mario contingent. Dark Samus hissed as it took its seat, Ridley trotting behind, his shrill victorious laugh echoing in the air, piercing the veil of hugs and polite applause.
"And now, it's time for the randomizer to do its thing!" announced 9-Volt.
The screen flashed some of the remaining matches, before landing on…
"ROB VERSUS TOON LINK!"
Toon Link snapped up from the previous wandering his mind had been doing. Toon Link briefly took in the scene around him. The on-screen ROB raised the roof, while Toon Link flailed his sword, before tiring out. Mario and Ridley bickered over the injury to the injury to the cameraman and the fine it entailed, and the rest of the Smashers Box applauded.
"You are Tunnel B, I am in Tunnel A. Best of luck," ROB said flatly as he departed down the tunnel.
Toon Link stood, Young Link, Zelda, and Link wading through the crowd over to him, the group engaging in a four-person fist bump as Toon waved goodbye to the rest of the Smashers as he headed down the opposite tunnel.