Round 1: Ritcher vs. King K. Rool

"For the last time, you foolish reporter," huffed the on-screen visage of King K. Rool, his posture posed as if he was holding an invisible wine tasting glass aloft.

Nikki wasn't visible on screen, but her voice from behind the camera indicated to all that she, a woman of boundless energy, had reached her limit, "Can we…just move on, please?"

"No! Not until you pronounce my name correctly," roared the boss of the Kremlings.

"Alright, King Kar-ni-vor-us," Nikki said, slowly.

"No, Kar-ni-ver-os," King K. Rool snapped.

"And we're at 15 attempts! Everybody pony up!" Sans, who had materialized a poker visor from nowhere announced from the middle of the room.

Sans spread his arms wide, tilting his head back and up, as if he was backing in the light of the most divine beings in the multiverse. Pocket change from homeworlds of all sorts fell at the slipper-clad feet of the skeleton. Like a raccoon through the garbage, in one swift motion, Sans was on his knees digging through the small pile. He immediately picked up a shining gold coin from the lot, "A Smash Coin? Who's is this?"

"You deserve it, man, for making everybody pay up," came Yoshi's voice from the very front of the room, "This is the most unified I've seen the Super Smash Brothers, in any of its incarnations."

Sans chuckled madly, "With this, I can open my old hotdog stand back up. I can own the intellectual property of the hot dog in The Human/Monster Alliance. No, better. Get plastic surgery to become a hot dog," he whispered as his eyes widened in realization.

"I wouldn't self-congratulate on this," growled Ganondorf, "The only reason why you were able to pull this off was because King K. Rool is a blight to the very multiverse."

As a near-unanimous agreement filled the room, attention turned back to the TV. Through all the Smashers' banter, Nikki had sat silent, aghast at the pre-recorded antics of the crocodile king, who bore an impish, tooth smile.

"B-but you said earlier it was Karn-ni-vor-ros," begged an aghast Nikki.

King K. Rool chortled with laughter, "Have you not figured out the riddle yet girl? That my full name is not to be on the tongues of peasants like you or the Belmont buffoon."

"I would ask how you feel about Ritcher, but…"

"Ask it anyway," King K. Rool snapped with a dismissive handwave, "Do your job. You can do that can't you?"

"How…do you feel about Ritcher?"

"That he's a buffoon! Next question?"

"There is no next question, get out,"

King K. Rool stood up, stomping out of the room.

Ritcher's splash screen came next, giving his "farewell" salute to the camera.

"My name is Ritcher Belmont," Ritcher said as he sat in the interview seat, smirking all the way.

"Oh, thank God," breathed Nikki.

"Yeah, it sounds like you had a bit of a rough time in there,"

"You don't know the half of it. Anyway, what do you think about King K. Rool."

Ritcher chuckled, "I hear he's got some kinda magic armor. Not anything I'm not used to."

"Are you looking forward to fighting anyone specifically?"

"Yep! Grandpa Simon! Hope to show him that the young generation of Belmonts can go as hard as he did."

The scene was replaced by a picture-in-picture. One side of the screen was dedicated to Ritcher jogging down the hallway, while the other was dedicated to watching King K. Rool amble down it.

"Let me apologize upfront for my biased commentary," Cranky grumbled as if he was reading a prepared statement.

"What?" asked 9-Volt as the camera panned to a crowd shot of some raucous Kremlings and people from the Castlevania universe, "Were you handed that?"

"Yeah, guess Mario wanted to get out ahead of this before I call the fat piece of lard a…"

"The next seven words were censored.

"…Fat piece of lard," Cranky concluded.

"Oh God," 9-Volt shuddered, "Futaba, give us an excuse to cut from this feed, please."

Futaba appeared on-screen next, jaw agape at Cranky's tirade.

"Uhhh, umm…I guess I have to go with Ritcher, so I don't get yelled at like that by Cranky off the air."

"Yeah, good idea. I'll try to keep it as unbiased as possible but boy oh boy am I not looking forward to getting lashed for it," 9-Volt shuttered.

"If you respect my dislike for the thing that tried to undo everything I put in place for my family, I'll respect your position in life as a corporate pantywaist whose biggest enemy is the delisting of digital games," Cranky announced.

"First of all, ouch. Second, let's head to entrances."

The opening organ cords of Simon Belmont's Theme hit when the organ was replaced by a synth beat, Ritcher did a horizontal spinning flip out of the tunnel, saluting the crowd as the girls in the arena squealed.

"Ritcher has his own theme, written about his exploit centuries later, but as a tribute to the family lineage, both Belmonts have chosen this as their entrance music."

"The pretty boy may be a goof, but at the very least he respects his elders," Cranky mumbled as Ritcher completed his entrance.

Next, a sea shanty made with synth instruments hit the speakers. King K. Rool ambled out, striking a sumo stance as the drums kicked in. The crocodile king stomped the rest of the way down the aisle, hooting and hollering Kremling war shanties in a grumbling near-incomprehensible language as he went, which were repeated by the Kremling contingent in the crowd, which was drowned out by boos.

"Heh, both guys have synth in their national slash family anthems." 9-Volt mused.

"Because the fat tub of goo never had an original idea in his fat life. Steal collectibles? Steal loved ones, Hoo-wee, musta had to think long and hard about that one, you stupid prick," ranted Cranky.

"Hopefully Ritcher can put away King K. Rool as quickly as possible because I can't put up with a whole match of this. And the sooner we throw down to Mills Frames the quicker we'll get there." 9-Volt bemoaned.

"The following contest is a Round One match of the Ultimate Tournament? The winner will face either Ridley or Simon in the next round. Introducing in the corner to my left, he is from the Castlevania Universe, he is the Azure Vampire Assassin, he is RITCHER BELMONT,"

Ritcher saluting the crowd was once again accompanied by swaths of women squealing their approval.

"And introducing in the corner to my right," Mills continued, "He is from The Rare Archipelago in the Mario Universe. He is the Kremling Commander, he is, KING K. ROOL!"

"And Mills makes the wise decision to not pronounce his middle name," 9-Volt wheezed out in relief, as King K. Rool slapped his belly to the boos of the majority of the stadium.

"If he did that, we might be out of here by the time the next F-Zero game comes out." Cranky grumbled.

"Now," Mills said once the crowd had quieted, " If Ritcher wins the coin toss, the stage will be Dracula's Castle. If King K. Rool wins the coin toss, the stage will be Kongo Falls. Call it gentlemen, heads or tails,"

"HEADS!" shouted King K. Rool as Mills flipped the coin into the air.

Mills examined the coin as it came to a stop on the floor, "Tails! The stage will be Dracula's Castle, two stocks, items medium. Smashers, ARE YOU READY?"

Ritcher nodded. King K. Rool however, looked downcast, the overweight croc gnashing his teeth in defeat.

With that, the two Smashers disappeared.

Stage: Dracula's Castle,
Items: All, Medium

Music: Bloodlines

Ritcher appeared in a flourish of his whip. King K. Rool dropped down to Earth with his arm crossed, letting forth a haughty chuckle as the countdown began.

3

2

1

GO!

Ritcher immediately tossed out a cross, King K. Rool sidestepped it. Ritcher responded by twirling the whip in a pinwheel motion as he ran. King K. Rool's Smash Shield blocked the attacks, but the rebounding of the first cross, plus the quick toss of a second laid on the first points of damage of the match!

"I think His Majesty thought that if he closed the gap on the range focused Ritcher would do the trick," 9-Volt commented as Ritcher struck with his whip fully cracked.

"But he's finding out it's not that easy!" Cranky chided.

King K. Rool desperately tried to whip his crown at Ritcher from across the pit area in the center of the stage, but the Vampire Killer's absurd length allowed Ritcher to strike the unsuspecting Kremling King once again, King K. Rool pulled himself up to the edges of the pit just as Ritcher attempted a whip twirl. The crocodile let out a stunned grunt, but before Ritcher could plot his next move. King K. Rool clasped his hands together, squeezing Ritcher's head, Ritcher stumbled backward, running at King K. Rool just as he threw his crown. Ritcher dodged the barbed crown, twirling his whip pinwheel style, only for King K. Rool to take his lashes completely unphased, grabbing Ritcher by the throat, and jumping into the air. As the two fell to Earth, the king splayed out Ritcher across his back, causing his head to slam into the vampire hunter's back. Ritcher was propelled a small distance into the air, but he immediately recovered, hitting King K. Rool on the top of his head with his leather boot. Mid-bounce, Ritcher lashed his whip at his foe, sending him fumbling off stage, only to use his Propellerpack to make it safely to land.

"The Propellerpack and his bio-mechanical armor, which allows him extra endurance when certain muscles are used in tandem, are just some of the many gadgets we'll be seeing King K. Rool use in this tournament," 9-Volt explained.

"HA! The fatty lost to my idiot son like six times, ain't no way he'd beat a Belmont," guffawed Cranky.

King K. Rool knocked Ritcher into the hollowed-out area of the arena with a stiff forearm. On all fours, the king galloped to attack Ritcher, but Ritcher beat him to it with another horizontal cracking of the Vampire Killer. Ritcher attempted to follow up the attack with two Hand Axe throws, each spiraling towards King K. Rool through the air in an arch shape, but the crafty Kremling King dodged them both. Ritcher was grazed as the mad dictator threw his crown at him, but saw the royal hat clunk against the edge of the area in which they stood falling to the ground. The whip wielder doubled back, throwing the crown over the King's head. With an annoyed grunt, King K. Rool leaped at him, overshooting the leap enough so that Ritcher could entangle his whip in Rool's ankle. The slovenly crocodile collapsed to the ground but was still able to reach out and grab a Bunny Hood that had just spawned. King K. Rool jumped up unfurling his ankle from its entanglements in the process. The King was taunting him, but it was all drowned out by the appearance of a Home Run Bat. Picking it up stealthily, he waited for the king to bound over to him, unleashing a home run hit just as the king was in range, sending him to the blast zone anyway.

King K. Rool: 1

Ritcher: 2

As a bewildered King K. Rool stood aboard the Revival Platform, Ritcher tease, "Hey, King K. Rool! As Bowser Junior was saying to me previously, neener neener."

King K. Rool jumped down from the healing platform, "You dare use such childish platitudes on the ruler of a realm?"

"What, an underwater vessel, because you and your subjects are too stupid and unwashed to take care of your island.

"Why you…" roared the king.

Galloping at him on all fours, King K. Rool was too blinded with rage to see that Ritcher had prepped another Home Run swing, which connected with the King's snarling jaw, for another quick KO!

"And just like that, it's over!" 9-Volt announced to the backdrop of Cranky's howling, uncontrolled laughter.

RITCHER WINS!

Ritcher leaped into the air, unsheathing his whip on the diagonal, and falling to the ground, pumping his fist into the air as the whip traveled back to him and a splash screen cemented his victory.

Rita stood before Ritcher as he was warped back to the tunnel, "Tell us about what happened out there?" she chirped excitedly.

"Whew, Smash items, you've gotta love 'em huh?" breathed a winded Ritcher, "If only beating Dracula was that easy!"

Vampire hunter and backstage interviewer shared a laugh before Ritcher continued.

"But, I know the rest of the tournament isn't gonna be this easy. Whoever's next, even if it's you, Grandpa Simon, you better watch out," he warned, heading up the tunnel.

"Alright. Zero, back to y-"

The camera cut to Mister Zero who was currently being slammed against the wall by King K. Rool, gripped in his claws by the lapels of his suit.

"PREPOSTEROUS! STUPID! UNFAIR!" King K. Rool ranted as he was pulled apart by Wire Frame security.

Ritcher walked back to the Smashers' Box, not to the usual applause, but to the shocked tournament participants as King K. Rool was dragged in.

"Take him back to the mansion," Mario ordered without turning away from the screen, "He's locked in his room for the rest of the night."

A portal opened, and the Wire Frames and the thrashing Kremling fell into it as it closed behind them.

The next match was already being randomized. The randomizer landed on Daisy vs. Bowser, but a finger snap could be heard, and the screen flipped to…

"ALTAIR VS. SANS!"

"Sorry about the Boss-stache," Sans said from the back of the room, "I've got ramen coming in 20 minutes, so I wanted to get my match over with before I have to sign the receipt."

"We were gonna have food catered two matches from now," whined Shulk.

"Shulk, enough," Mario snapped, "Sans-a did you really think we weren't a-gonna have food catered?"

Sans shrugged, "But I wanted ramen,"

"Fair enough, just…don't do it again,"

"You are in Tunnel A Altair, Sans, you are in Tunnel B, your special entrance is ready,"

"Special entrance?" whined Ruiji, "He's stealing our gimmick!"

"Administrative perk. By the way, you're one to complain about gimmick infringement, you stole mine,"

"What? Because I wear a skeleton mask?"

"Yes."

"Enough of this! We all owe Ritcher our applause," Simon bellowed, leading the applause for a bashful Ritcher.

When the applause ended, Altair began to push his way through the crowd, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He followed the source of the grasp, seeing Quinn looking up at him.

"Hey man, good luck," Quinn whispered.

"Thank you," Altair whispered back as he headed to Tunnel A.

"Wow good luck Sans you're so cool," Sans said, miming s mouth moving with his non-Gaster Blaster hand, teleporting away.