Intermission

Pit and Palutena

The squeaky wheels of the build-your-own sandwich cart being brought into the Smashers' Box. Mario's announcement that a new, different "bar" type food arrangement will be brought in every round. The thunderous movement of the audience beneath them as those who hadn't figured out the teleporting watch technology yet went to the nearest bathroom or concession stand. All was jus at hum in Pit's ears. Still reeling from the kiss Palutena had given him, a see of anxious thoughts was the foreground noise of his mind.

Had he wanted to be Palutena's one and only? Or had he just suppressed those thoughts through the eons? On one hand, Palutena was quite the catch. Powerful, beautiful, wise, funny, kind. But on the other hand, she was completely self-sufficient. Powers of a goddess aside, they were immortal. It wasn't as though she needed to mate in order to pass on a familial legacy like the mortals they watched out for did. What about pleasures of the flesh? Did Palutena feel such things?

That was where Pit drew the line shaking himself awake. In his haze he had gone up to the sandwich bar, making both Palutena's (Open-faced roast beef sandwich with a side of fries) and his (chicken, bacon, and ranch sandwich with a side of sour cream and onion flavored chips) favorite sandwiches. Pit easily spotted his green-haired boss in the front of the crowd. She was chatting away with Daisy and Peach, both of the Mario Brothers on their respective girls' arms. Pit bit his lip, choking the feelings of longing down, clearing his throat, and announcing…

"Your sandwich ma'am," Pit, Buckenberry, and one of Peach's Toads announced, each retainer presented their respective royals their food.

Pit couldn't help but giggle. After the three women exchanged looks, they joined in the laughter. The laughter subsided, Daisy speaking first, "Thank you, guys. I needed the laugh after…"

Peach's face twisted into a grimace as she took the plate from her attendant, "Yes, the state of Bowser is quite horrifying."

"I agree, but I can't help but feel at ease at the same time. Smash tournaments are a gathering place for the smartest minds in the multiverse. If Doctor Mario and The Belmonts' magical knowledge don't solve the problem, we can run Bowser through a battery of tests."

"I don't believe he'll be too happy about it…" fretted Peach.

Pit spoke up, "No offense your Highness, but Mario's right. Even so, we won't know until Doctor Mario and The Belmonts examine him. For now, let's focus on what's certain," the captain of the Palutena's Army said cheerily

Luigi nodded, "Yeah! We've got-a two winners here," he cheered.

Pit held out his palm in a high five, which Daisy returned, "Yeah, congrats to you Pit! This is the best fight you've ever put on."

The angel blushed.

"Awwww look at him, all bashful cause he won! Reminds me of you, Weegee!"

Luigi again nodded, this time, blushing to the group's suppressed giggles.

"You are far too humble Pit," Peach explained, "Meta-Knight is one tough customer. King Dedede, reservations I have about him, has quite an eye for talent to have him as his chief guardian."

"Yeah, he's as lucky to have him at his side as I am to have you," Palutena blurted, immediately covering her mouth in horror.

Chuckles permeated the group at first but slowed to silence when the Mario crew saw the worry on both the faces of their angel counterparts.

"We..um..have to talk," Palutena stammered.

"Y-yeah..." Pit stammered back.

Only a few seconds of silence passed but felt like an eternity as Palutena's face twisted in thought.

"Warp!" she finally declared as both goddess and angel disappeared from the room.

In a flash Pit found himself in a stratosphere of the Smash dimension, Palutena a few feet away, her arms crossed, her gaze not meeting Pit's. The layers of this place seemed to go on infinitely, so far that nor Palutena or Rosalina, all-powerful goddesses in their own rights, could not navigate to what astrologists would consider "space."

"So… um… Until today I had not engaged in shows of physical affection like that for eons," Palutena stammered.

"I never have," said Pit.

"And that's why…"

The Goddess of Light began in a regal, decreeing tone, but trailed off as soon as she did, "It feels like I'm...abusing my power by..."

"No, I liked it," blurted Pit.

"As did I…"

Pit sat for a second, the wind whistling between them. Finally, he sighed, "Can we..just go back to how things were before?"

Palutena nodded, "It certainly feels more comfortable to try."

The two sat in silence for a second, both looking down at the abyss of land and sea below them, "Do you…want to stay outside for a while?" Pit piped up.

Palutena laughed, "Yes. It was getting quite stuffy in there."

Pit opened his mouth to speak, but Palutena only snapped her fingers in response. Both of their sandwiches appeared in their arms. Pit nodded in Palutena's direction in thanks as the two began to eat. Over the next few minutes, each would sneak glances at the other, and the victim would, out of fear of aggravating the status quo, would chalk it up to their imaginations.

Krystal

Inane, pointless thoughts, all of it. That's what Krystal had to say about the flood of her competitor's thoughts. She couldn't help but sneer as the rest of the group ate and were merry to one another. She wasn't a fan of eating big meals herself, as being put into many survival situations on Sauria and other places warped her view of eating as something that was needed to prevent starvation and nothing more. Meat similarly had lost its appeal after years of eating the synthetic stuff on Corneria. Krystal munched into a granola bar, sneering at the crowd once again.

"That was a good match, Krystal," a voice addressed her from behind.

The sitting vulpine shot a look over her shoulder. It was Vergil, the silver-haired swordsman that had been gawking at her like a pubescent teenager after she won her match. Almost as immediately as she processed him, she felt Dante's presence, faking a conversation with Travis Touchdown and the River City Girls, but glancing over Travis' shoulder to watch the action. Was this a game to the trenchcoat-wearing buffoon? Was it a game for them both? A quick scan of Vergil's thoughts indicated a defeated reservation, like the thoughts of someone in a soul-crushingly unhappy marriage, going through the motions when it came to his brother.

"Better than anything you could put on," Krystal snapped.

She waited for it. The flood of endorphins that went to the brain when a man felt embarrassment or a challenge to his ego. Feeling other people's chemical structure betray how week and fimble they were was one of Krystal's greatest joys.

But not even an ounce of redirected emotion. It was as if she had just told Vergil the time.

"Oh? Do you wish to test that theory in the training room someday? Or do you fear being knocked off your high horse?"

Krystal nodded, "I accept your challenge, your foolish brevity aside."

Vergil didn't even blink, "Talk sense to a fool, and she calls you foolish."

Krystal fell silent as her heart skipped. The Cernian shook herself out of her stupor, "I would hope your skills with your sword or as sharp as your skills with your tongue."

"I assure you they are. I would hate to find that your skills with your staff aren't as sharp as your tongueand scar such cerulean beauty."

It was at this point Dante coughed so loudly that half the room turned to him. By the time everyone realized what was happening, Dante was wheezing with laughter, "You…thought asking her sword fight was freakin' FLIRTING," choked Dante between wheezes.

Krystal went to join in on the mocking laughter, but she couldn't. Vergil's cold wit and confidence made her too…warm to muster the negativity it took to be snarky.

"Hmph, you wouldn't know romance if it bore a neon sign dear brother," Vergil snapped, casting a glance at Krystal before pushing his way deeper into the crowd. Krystal didn't even have time to focus on what had just happened Travis spoke up, "Ha, maybe he can help me with these love letters I've been getting,"

"Love letter?" sneered Misako, "Who would send your otaku ass a love letter?"

"It takes all kinds," joked Kunio, "I mean, Riki has a girlfriend after all,"

"HEY!" shouted Kyoko and Riki together.

"All jokes from the kiddos aside," Dante butted in, "Who's the lucky lady?"

Travis shrugged, "Dunno, but it's got some strange seal on it, something about the Shiranui Ninja Clan?"

The noises that permeated the room next happened in a matter of seconds. First came the sound of Tery choking on a bite of his meatball sub, then the sound of Donkey Kong casually walking over and punching the Hungry Wolf in the stomach, causing Terry to collapse, his feet falling out from under him, and spitting the regurgitated meat onto the ceiling. As the crowd turned to the new mayhem, Terry fumbled his way through the crowd, breathing heavy, "Yo, be very careful around her."

Travis raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"She's my brother's ex. She thought they were together, but they never were. He finally got a restraining order.

Pulling out his wallet, he presented a weathered picture of Terry and Andy, the former's arm around a blond in a cut orange sweater, the latter putting as much distance between himself and a barely dressed, well-endowed brunette. Travis's eyes widened, letting out a wolf whistle, "Damn, I know they say not to stick it in crazy, but she's too hot to not."

Terry frowned, shrugging his shoulders, muttering, "Your loss. Made me waste a good meatball sub, not okay," as he walked away.

"I like your spirit kid," Dante said, chuckling lightly.

"I'm 27," snapped Travis.

"Meh, you're still a kid to me," shrugged the Devil Hunter, "Looks like I've got another dater to mess with when my bro scares the fox away,"

Before Travis could protest any further, Dante had already turned away from the group, making his way back to the sandwich line.

Ken and Ryu

Ken lazily reclined in the front row of the auditorium, in front of him Ryu and Miss Trainer meditated, not even flinching as Toon Link and Lucas playfully argued.

"You'd better win! We've got to have our rematch!" Toon Link shouted.

"As you've said several times since they rolled out the sandwiches," came the flat, quiet retort of Lucas, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just sayin'!" said Toon Link, completely oblivious, "You'd better two-stock Diddy or I will never, ever let you live it down."

Ken shook his head, a smirk on his face.

God, they remind me of Ryu and me when we first started training together. Me goadin' him into doin' better, and Ryu not knowing how to deal with it. Hell, sometimes I still grab his goat now, mused the martial artist.

Suddenly, his communicator rang. Pressing the "accept call," button the faces of Eliza and Mel appeared, "Dad!" cried Mel, "You won!"

Ken laughed, "Of course, I'm your dad! I always win with you and your mom in my heart!"

The boy's forehead wrinkled in thought, "So when you lose, does that mean you don't have us in your heart,"

"Um, no, that's uh…" Ken sputtered, "So, how's Uncle Guile?"

"Great! We're enjoying the private box," Eliza cut in, "We went to get concessions just a bit ago, just to see what's what. Zangief tried to fight a big guy in swim trunks and a crown,"

"Yeah!" Mel chirped, "The big man backed down, it was funny!"

Ken laughed, "So I guess Uncle Gief is celebrating with karaoke after the festivities?"

Eliza laughed, "You know it!"

Suddenly, Chun-Li clasped a hand on Ken's shoulder, "Is that the sound of my special guy I hear?"

"AUNT CHUN!" shouted Mel, "Did you see the fight! It was crazy!"

"Yep, I saw the fight, Uncle Ryu and your father fought good didn't they?"

"Yep! I'm gonna be just like them when I grow up!"

"And you're gonna do what?" Chun-Li asked, a faux quizzical eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

"Do my homework and eat my green vegetables," sighed Mel.

"Good boy," Chun-Li nodded.

"Aunt Chun is Uncle Ryu...?"

As if by magic, as soon as Mel uttered the words, Ryu and Miss Trainer's was interrupted by a fleeing Toon Link, who, while fleeing a fed up Lucas, gave Ryu a punt to the back that would make a soccer player proud. Ryu, however, only opened his eyes, glancing over at Ken and Chun's direction, uttering a quiet apology to Miss Trainer, and stepping over to the growing crowd.

"Eliza! Mel!" Ryu greeted his extended family.

"Uncle Ryu!" cheered Mel.

"Geez, when was the last time we were all together like this?" Eliza pondered.

"Christmas last year?" Ken asked.

"I wasn't there though!" Chun-Li interjected.

"Yeah, so longer then. Geez…"

"So we gotta go karaoking with 'Gief," Ken announced.

"Hm? What prompted that?"

"Oh yeah, you were off in Yogaland. So apparently Zangief made some guy with swim trunks and a crown buzz off when he tried to fight him at the concession stands,"

"King Hippo," growled Ryu.

"It sounds like you know him, and it sounds like he's serious business," Chun-Li said.

"Yeah. He's one of the heavy hitters from Mac's world and he…On second thought, I'll tell you once the kids are in bed."

"Awwww, I wanna hear the story!" Mel whined.

"I'll tell you when you're older Mel. Much older."

"Oh, God. Anyway, are Guile and Julia in on the party tonight?" asked Ken, tugging at his gi and changing the subject.

"I wouldn't know, Amy challenged Guile to a pushup contest, and they just switched to one arm military style," Eliza explained.

Ken raised an eyebrow, "And Amy's holding her own? That's my niece!" cheered Ken, casting a thumbs up to the camera.

Chun-Li laughed, "You know, I'm sure Zangief will badger Guile into going if Julia doesn't."

Eliza Masters returned the giggle, "Yeah, for sure!"

Suddenly, Chun-Li's eyes widened, "Oh yeah! Are Yang and Yung with you?"

"Yeah," Julia nodded, "But I think they uh…decided to walk around for a little while longer. You know them, they probably found a video arcade or something somewhere. They'll be back for your fight though,"

"They'd better!"

Again, the blond on the other end laughed, "Yeah! Oh, and Ryu, sorry about the 'L'"

Ryu shook his head, "It's no problem. On this day, Ken was the better warrior, and I know I have to train harder."

"Good sportsmanship, right Ryu?" Mel piped in, presumably having been watching Guile and Amy's pushup contest.

"That's right," Ryu nodded, "You've remembered my teaching's well."

Mel nodded, turning toward Eliza, "I wanna go do pushups with Uncle Guile and Amy!"

Eliza let out a chuckle, "Oh God, I'd better supervise to make sure William doesn't dislocate the shoulders of the children. Good luck in your match Chun, and honey buns, keep Ryu outta trouble for me will ya? Ciao!" she said, blowing a kiss as the call disconnected.

"Honeybuns?" Chun-Li asked.

Ken chuckled, "What, I can't help it that I have, as the kids say, a dump truck ass,"

Ryu simply shook his head solemnly, while Chun-Li massaged her temples, "Jesus Christ," cursed The Strongest Woman in the World.

As Ryu and Chun-Li walked away from the blond karate champion, the stunned man could only call, "Something I said?"

Meta-Knight

Meta-Knight hadn't moved, the captain of Dreamland's guard likely overthinking, overanalyzing his battle with Pit. This was unnerving to some. The Playstation Allstars clique, Jak, Daxter, Ratchet, Clank, Sly, Yoshimitsu, and Jin had already passed Meta-Knight's seat giving him a worried look.

But to Jigglypuff, this was just another day.

Win, lose, Meta-Knight was oft catatonic. Jigglypuff rubbed Meta-Knight's back with her nubs.

And you'll come back to me, just as you always have

Jigglypuff cast a quick glance at King Dedede and Kirby, who were in the back of the room playing what Dedede had called "Iron man paddy cake," in order to distract the easily worried Kirby from the brooding Meta-Knight. When she turned back to her beau, she found Marth and Ike standing over them.

"I would assume Sir Meta is brooding?" asked Marth.

Jigglypuff huffed, "You know it. And the newbies are looking at us."

Marth huffed back, "Let them. They know not the workings of one of Smash's most valiant knights."

"Marth's flowery language aside," Ike said, "We would like to invite you out for a brew. Between the Smashers among us, and the additional lords that were invited to be spectators, the Heroes of Askr order is finally in one place in peacetime."

Meta-Knight tensed, his yellow eyes shooting up at the lords, "You would consider me, a knight of Dreamland, worthy of the Askr order?"

Ike put an enormous hand on Meta-Knight's shoulder, "Meta-Knight, you fought alongside me for most of the Subspace War. I consider you a brother, but now is the time to make that official. The Askr Order will close down a mead establishment after the tournament, and you're invited."

Meta-Knight chuckled, "I accept,"

"I knew you would," Marth said with a smile, "We'll all go together after the first round."

Meta-Knight nodded as the two lords walked away. Jigglypuff, meanwhile, was beside herself with giggles.

"Of course being bribed with mead would perk you up. Of course."

Something occurred to Meta-Knight, "And you're not offended you weren't invited."

"I'm not a warrior. Everybody and their grandma in that order is a sword wielder. It's fine. I haven't hung out with Pikachu and a gang in a while,"

Meta-Knight nodded, "Fair enough, But for now…"

The once-brooding night snuggled into Jigglypuff as much as his round form would allow, the shocked, but blissful Pokemon returning the favor.

Daisy

"Wish I could teleport…" Daisy muttered.

After Pit and Palutena's departure, the conversation between the plumbers and princesses had fizzled awkwardly, Mario being called away for some sort of technical issue while Peach had opted to follow him. Daisy had been stewing ever since.

"Hmm?" Luigi asked, still on Daisy's arm.

"The goddess and the angel boy just friggin left. I'd love to get some air with you but we can't friggin leave like I'd get you into mischief or something!" she snapped.

"Well, do you see the clientele we got here? I wouldn't trust some of these people to use the bathroom without some mayhem."

Daisy laughed, but Luigi's eyes remained deadly serious.

"But that isn't what bothering you is it?" he asked.

"No…What was up with Bowser?"

"You know it's some bullshit."

Daisy frowned, "You're remarkably flippant about a tyrant king losing his mind!"

"Because I've seen it a billion times. Bowletta, Dark Bowser, Giga Bowser. At least he was smart enough to get medical attention for it this time. Usually, he just scuttles a-back to the Koopa Kingdom to whatever quack doctors they have over there," stated the man in green, muttering the last part.

"But…don't you think with Conker cooking up a scheme it's dangerous to have something like this show up?"

"Conker's crap is exactly why we're together, and why Bowser is in the hands of the top medical doctor in the multiverse. Otherwise, Mario and I'd just stomp the problem like we always do. Big problems call for big solutions after all.'

Daisy shook the metaphorical cobwebs from her head, turning her head to look at Luigi, "You're right. Like you said, he's in good hands, and we'll put all our noggins together if we have to figure it out! I'm just so used to handling things internally back home that problems I can't solve drive me crazy!"

Luigi nodded, a sympathetic look on his face, "I know. It's why we balance out so well, don't ya think?"

"It helps that you're the cutest guy in here," Daisy cooed, kissing her man on the nose, "I love you so much, and I can't wait to make you king someday."

"I love you too," Luigi nodded, "And I agree…"

Luigi cleared his throat, "I just can't waaaaaait to be king," the younger half of the Mario brothers sang.

"Seven stars what was that?" Daisy asked through a laugh, eyes wide with shock.

"Some song Cloud taught me. We were drinking towards the end of the last tourney and he told me about this world where he teamed up with a duck, dog, and their human companion to save a pride of lions from…"

"Man, I gotta go drinking with this guy to get some of his stories. Might be able to sell 'em under a pen name."

"That can be arranged I think. Cloud's girl is here this time, and he's got some friends with dates."

"Woo!" Daisy cheered, "Couple's night at the bar!"

The couple shared a laugh together, turning to the massive window in the Smashers' box to watch the crowd below settle in their seats once again.

Bowser

"RRRRGH LET ME OUTTA HERE!" Bowser roared, strapped to a hospital bed while Ritcher and Doctor Mario observed on the other side of a glass window.

"In a minute," Doctor Mario snapped, "If The Belmonts hadn't been so quick to pick up on the possession aspect, I'd have to research literally every medical possibility. Count your blessings."

Doctor Mario and Ritcher spoke in hushed voices. The tone seemed argumentative, especially from Ritcher, but the impossibly good-looking vampire hunter sighed, and the two filed into the room containing Bowser. Ignoring the ornery king's immediate request for answers, Doctor Mario dialed a number in his communicator, a hologram projected of all the Admin Team sat around a circular table, "Doctor, what's-a the diagnosis?"

"Based on a thorough examination of several skin samples, and watching the footage up to his match back…"

"And some old Belmont journals on possession," interrupted Ritcher.

"…We've determined that the trigger is…black paint."

"That's it?" Sans and Shulk bulked simultaneously.

"Yes. We believe it's a leftover symptom of when Bowser messed with the Big Paint Stars several years ago."

Bowser roared, billowing smoke, "Preposterous! My Magikoopa medical team just patches up whatever damage there is with some cellular repair!"

\ "That's the issue. Ritcher, pull it up."

Ritcher keyed in a series of buttons in his own communicator. Black cells swam through a bloodstream."

"You see, your highness," Doctor Mario began, "According to our records, all Magikoopa surgery you've ever undergone involves the skin. I suspect after the Big Paint Star nonsense, your Magikoopas just conducted the usual post-possessions surgeries, correct?"

"Yeah," snapped Bowser.

"Well, what your team didn't account for is that this particular incident affected your blood as if it is a hyper-aggressive cancer you can acquire through touch. "

"Well that's terrific," snorted Bowser, "If my Magikoopas can't do the job, what's the cure."

"A complete rewrite of his genetic code," Sans interrupted as Doctor Mario opened up his mouth to speak.

"How do you know?" quizzically asked Doctor Mario, dripping suspicion in every word.

"Because there was a period in time in which our society tried to transplant a human soul into a monster body. If you can re-write someone's genetic code, that takes care of most diseases. But, you get some nasty side effects."

"R…rewriting someone's genetic code wasn't even on my radar, but based on what I know about DNA, RNA and the like, unpredictable, catastrophic side effects gel with that understanding,"

"So?" Bowser once again snorted with even more nose steam, "Just throw your viruses at it! Didn't it cure the common cold?"

"Yes, but that only works temporarily. So," paused to rummage through an inner pocket in his lab coat, handing him a jar of multicolored pills, "I would never give these out, but as I would have to run some tests against the samples I've collected from you, this is the best I can offer you in an emergency situation."

"Well, what about…nonemergencies?" The Koopa King was inquisitive, like a small child.

Mario rummaged through the opposite inner coat pocket, unveiling a pair of winter gloves."

Bowser cocked his head to the side in confusion, "Gloves?"

The doctor nodded, "We only found the paint on your fingernails. I would imagine because you have such a wide gate, even in a run, that it never got on your toenails,"

"Are you calling me fat?"

"What I'm suggesting is that you keep an eye on your feet, and if it persists for whatever reason, clip your toenails down to nothing, but as I've said, based on the sample of your fingernails versus the sample of your toenails, that's where I'm willing to leave it for now, barring any changes. That good Mario?"

"Yes," Mario declared to the agreeing nods of the admin team, "However if following doctor's orders becomes a problem, we're going to have to lock you down until we can find a cure. Understood-a?"

"Yeah, mustache. I can't be treated like a zoo animal, I've got to see my kids, and if that means following your stupid…"

"Bowser," snapped Mario.

Bowser cleared his throat, "Your rules, then I'll do the best I can."

Mario nodded, "Good. You're free to release him Doc,"

Doc nodded back as the admin team's war room hologram.

When Bowser teleported back to the Smashers' Box, the room fell quiet, seemingly frozen, unsure of what would happen next. All except for the Koopaling and Piranha Plant, who mobbed their father upon his arrival. When a giggly Bowser Junior began to paint on the backs of the king's freshly acquired gloves, the room resumed its friendly chatter. No sooner than it had, the television, which had been looping the Smash logo since the beginning of the intermission, suddenly cut to Cranky Kong and 9-Volt.

"Aaaand we're back!" announced Cranky, "As you know beings of all kinds, it'll be Team Chaotix vs. Sephiroth next.

And back to silence, the room went. On the TV, Espio slid under Vector, toppling him and striking a ninja pose. While the crocodile rubbed the back of his head embarrassedly, Charmy made finger guns. Sephiroth stood with his back to the camera. Back in the present, Sonic and Team Chaotix grouped into a huddle, Charmy whispering something to Sonic and then Vector in a morose hushed tone.

"Clam it Charmy," Vector boomed, "We'll be fine!"

Sephiroth's laugh echoed amongst the silence from the very back of the room as he teleported out. The three detectives audibly gulped in a simultaneous fashion, heading down Tunnel A at Shulk's silent instruction The slaughter was on.