Chapter 50: Your Love Is My Drug

Hey Readers! Here is the next update for this story. I know I promised an update in June, but that month got away from me. Once again, I don't own Divergent, and all military-related mistakes are mine. Happy Reading!

Tobias walks through the door that night from work, exhaustion evident on his features, dark circles under his eyes. I catch him attempting to conceal the concern which is etched deep in his frown while he is shutting the door, I whisper, "Are you okay?" He takes off his camouflage jacket, rubbing his tired eyes, and moves to the couch sitting with me while I set the book down I had been reading. He mutters, "Yeah, I'm so tired of the political drama at work. Sometimes, I wish all I had to do was fly a plane, but lately, all it seems I do is fly a desk, especially since this promotion. Enough about me, how was your day? Did you do anything interesting?"

I take a deep breath, bracing to tell him about the news I received from the doctor earlier. My eyes shift to the floor, unable to look at him, answering, "I actually do have some news," Tobias shifts, and I feel his eyes on me, studying me intently. I stutter, " I . . . I . . . I had an appointment with a local GYN," My eyes meet Tobias's. Shock colors his features, and his eyebrows are raised. He reaches for my hand, and his voice remains calm, asking, "Oh really, what did she say?" My eyes dart to the floor again, and I nervously bite my lip. Tobias's fingertips draw my eyes up to his, replying, "No matter how bad or good the news you got was, we will face it together as a team." I gulp while he presses his soft pink lips against the back of my hand in a reassuring kiss.

I stare into his eyes and quickly speak before I lose my courage, "We talked about my endometriosis, my low iron count, and how this is keeping us from starting a family. We also spoke about the pill I have been taking. The doctor sent it to the lab for some testing. The medication has never been approved by the government. She did an exam, an ultrasound, and ran some blood work. She wants to schedule surgery after the blood work comes back." While I am speaking, I pray all my information won't cause Tobias to go into panic mode. It doesn't work!

Tobias's eyes widen, and his voice raises in alarm, asking, "An operation, for what? Back up for one minute, Tris, and tell me what is wrong with your iron pill!" My eyes shoot downward to my painted toenails. I can't look at Tobias while I speak, whispering, "The surgery would be to clean out my uterus to help IVF be successful. When the ultrasound was done, it showed my right tube is completely blocked, and my left side is partially blocked." Tobias takes my numb hands in his, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles. His dark blue eyes catch mine, and he carefully stares into my eyes. The concern is evident in his glassy eyes. Tobias tries to force a smile onto his lips, asking, "Do you really need surgery? I don't want to think about you undergoing an operation. What if something bad happens to you? We can always adopt,"

I sigh, "This is going to sound incredibly selfish. I want a baby, Tobias. I want our baby, and I want to carry that baby. I long for that experience, and I want it with you. I'll be fine during surgery. I promise nothing is going to happen to me. I know you have a hard time trusting, but please trust me. I will be fine. Tobias does not say a word while he stares at me. Touching his cheek, I murmur, " I love you. I will be okay." Tobias grasps my hand, replying, "You can't make that promise. What happened with your iron pill?"

I take a deep breath before muttering, "I was a fool for ever trusting Peter even when I was a naive child." Tobias's eyes implore me to keep talking, "The so-called iron pill I had been prescribed by one of the doctors I saw when I was younger is illegal; it thickens your uterus to the point if you take the pills enough, you will be unable to physically have children. That is why the government didn't allow the medication to be sold originally. Apparently, that medication was involved in a major drug bust a little more than a year ago when the mob got caught selling it on the black market. That pill is a birth control pill, not an iron pill. The mob's leader whose name was Peter, went to prison for a week for the crime, before his attorney got him out and the charges were dropped. Peter disappeared for three weeks after you first moved in next to us. I can't help but think maybe he went to jail. He was a leader in the mob."

Suddenly, Tobias wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly to his side, and mumbles, under his breath, something about killing Peter. His warm, secure arms feel like home. My eyes fall on the clock, the realization dawns on me: Tobias has not eaten dinner. He must be starving, especially since he never has time to eat during the day. I mumble, "You should eat before the food gets even colder than it already is." Tobias sighs, "How long ago did you make it?" A smile tugs at my lips, "Only three hours ago." Tobias exhales loudly, offering, "I'm sorry, Tris. I'm sorry it seems like I am never home anymore. Lately my job has been taking up all my time. When we moved to this base, I didn't think it would eat up all my spare time, and I would never have time to see you."

Trying to lessen his guilt, I smile, "It's okay. I knew what I was getting into when I married you. Actually, I have some more news from today. I got a phone call from a job application I had filled out online for a local hospital a few months back when we were still in Maryland. I had forgotten I even applied. The woman called, wanting to schedule me for an interview today. I went for the interview, and I was hired on the spot." Tobias lifts an eyebrow, replying, "You did! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you. I know how much you missed working. You are going to make a kick-ass nurse in Virginia. Whatever hospital hired you is lucky. What department will you be working for? When do you start? What are your hours?" Tobias peppers me with a million questions with a proud smile tugging at his lips. I smile, "At Sentara General Hospital in Norfolk in the Emergency Room. I start in a few weeks. It's as needed, but at least my foot is in the door."

Tobias glances at me from the corner of his eye, "I didn't know you were applying for jobs when we were in Maryland." I shrug my shoulders while he continues, "I knew you were having a difficult time landing a job because of me and recently moving." A giggle escapes my lips, teasing, "Not everything is about you, Major Eaton, but yes, I was having a hard time. I guess this job was meant to be. I felt at home as soon as I walked in the door. I could see myself working there, and I'm excited to be getting back to work."

Tobias smiles, "I'm excited for you too, Tris, and proud; I know you will rock their socks off with your skills and knowledge." He leans closer, his fingers slide gently over my cheek, and his lips brush mine. A giggle escapes my lips, and I push him against the couch while his lips skim mine again. My lips attach to his bottom one, tugging in a heated kiss. Tobias's rough fingertips graze along my lower back and sides where my shirt has ridden up, and I pull him closer, tugging at his green t-shirt, and Tobias throws his shirt over his head, revealing his taut stomach. My fingers are automatically drawn, tracing designs into his warm flesh. He pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle his waist while our lips remain locked. A faint ringing from his pocket begins, then it stops, then it starts again. I murmur against his lips, "Don't answer that." The ringing stops and then starts again. He moves, tugging his phone from his pocket. He shuts it off, tossing it. His lips return to mine, murmuring, "Where were we?" I giggle and eagerly meet his kiss.

Minutes later, my phone initiates a ring, and Tobias echos my statement, "Don't answer that," his words echo into the skin of my neck while he grinds his hips into mine, and his lips move back to mine, kissing me deeply. I pull away from the kiss breathlessly, "I need to, it might be important," effectively shattering the moment between us. I hold my fingers to his lips, quieting him while he attempts to murmur his disapproval, and answer my phone, "Hello?"

The female voice says, "Yes, may I speak to Beatrice Eaton." I reply, "Speaking." My heart pounds in my chest. Who is calling at this hour of the night? Is Caleb okay? My fingers hit the speaker button on the phone. Tobias stares intensely, his eyes meet mine, and I smile. The woman speaks again, "Tris, this is Dr. Matthews. We saw each other at the clinic today. I'm sorry I'm calling at such a late hour, but I needed to discuss a few things with you. Your blood work came back with some interesting results. Those exo-iron pills, you had me test, as suspected, those pills were the same ones involved in the incident about two years ago with the mob."

My stomach drops at her words. Tobias catches my eyes with a worried expression while Dr. Matthews continues, "Those drugs as suspected were a form of birth control. That caused your endometriosis to become worse instead of helping it, and none of the drugs found in the pill are legal, in fact most of the drugs found in that pill, if taken in a large enough dose can be lethal. If you had continued to take those pills, you would have been dead within six months according to the levels in your blood." I drop my phone at her words, and the tears blur my vision. My eyes bounce to Tobias, who stalks off the couch, pacing the room like a caged animal ready to snap. I sit on the couch, numb, shaking. When will I finally be rid of the effects of Peter and that awful hellish relationship I had to endure? Dr. Matthews asks, "Tris, are you still there?"

Holding back the tears, I answer, "Yes," attempting to keep my voice steady. Dr. Matthews continues, "I'm sorry, I wish I had better news to give you, but please don't take any more of those pills. I don't believe you ever had a low iron count, to begin with. Whoever told you such things lied. If you have any questions, call the office. I know I just gave you a lot of information, and I will see you next week at our appointment. We can talk about the surgery and if you still want to continue the process of trying to start a family." Dr. Matthews' kind words hit me when she hangs up. I break down, crying, tears roll down my cheeks. If Peter wasn't already dead, I would kill him!

Unable to control the pain inside myself, I fall to the floor on my knees from the couch. Tobias catches me in his strong arms, pulling me close against his chest. Our tears intermix while he whispers, "We will figure this out together, Tris, I promise. I'm sorry. I wish you had never met Peter, and I wish I could take all your pain away. I wish I could go back in time to kill him myself."

Thoughts and opinions on this chapter. The next chapter update will be up sometime in the month of Aug. See you all then.