Round 1

Bayonetta vs. Torri Gachi

Striking a pose that saw her turn around, very much extenuating her very ample rear, Bayonetta was the center of attention, with an ample selection of easy, deadly combos to make up her highlight package. Now she sat in the chair, long legs crossed, glaring at Nikki contemptuously.

"Ugh," she sneered, "I feel like I've been in line for forever and a day. I do hope you'll keep this short."
"Absolutely," Nikki agreed, "So what do you think of Torri?"

"I have no doubt she's a nice girl, but I hear she's a sports star where she's from. If that's the best you can do with a Duel semi-finalist, fine."

"But Jigglypuff and Wolf have to have inter-class matches as well," Nikki countered, annoyance in her voice.

"Villager is proven, and Peach even more so. But for me? You put me against, what, a brat who plays super soaker?" Bayonetta gave a dismissive shrug, her lips puckered.

"Um…who are you looking forward to fighting?"

"Well, I know a certain Miss Aran has been putting the time in the training room, and Cloud deserves a sanctioned beating for what happened at the afterparty last time, and Robin too for taking me out of contention."

"Come to think of it, you have been spending a lot of time with Samus…" Nikki pondered.

In a huff, Bayonetta strode out of the interview room.

Next came Torri's graphic, shooting a purple blast from her Splattershot into the air, a playful grin on her face. Brief shots of her posing with her many Turf War awards, a source indicating the pictures were on loan from Judd Enterprises, the parent company of the Turf War sport. Then, there she sat, grinning confidently in the interview space.

"I should let you know that Bayonetta had some not-so-kind things to say about you in her interview."

Torri shrugged, "Honestly, I'm used to it. I know the deal, I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth, so people think I don't have to try. But I put my all into everything I do, which is why I'm a champion. And like, yeah, I'm way underqualified to be a Smasher, but I guess Judd put in a good word for me, and I'm gonna try my best here too."

"So you're not mad at Bayo?"

Torri shook her head definitively proclaiming, "Nuh-uh! I get I look like some punk kid when all the veterans have been in some pretty crazy trenches. But I'm gonna go out there and do my best and whatever "

"Sounds good to me. Who're you looking forward to fighting?" Nikki asked.

"Green and her Pokemon are funky fresh, and I really hope me and Captain Falcon make it to the finals. He's gone out of his way to be cool to me and mad props for that."

"That's Falcon alright," Nikki agreed, "That's all we've got, thank you for your time,"

Shouting "WOOMI," and casting a peace sign, the camera cut to Cranky and 9-Volt.

"Some character action bimbo versus a Quake for Babies champion. Be steady my beating heart!" crowed Cranky.

9-Volt rolled his eyes, "Splatoon is a great video game, and Turf War is one of my favorite sports."

"Of course it is. Don't tell me you agree with him Futaba."

"I mean, I love Splatoon as much as the next gal," Futaba began, "It's something I play with The Thieves all the time, and looking like the orange one is kinda my gimmick. But dude, she's across the ring from Bayonetta. I'd be shocked if she walked out the winner."

"Good to see we've got some unbiased journalism up in here for once!" said Cranky.

"You're one to….No Volt, you've got one more match you can do this," Volt closed his eyes, breathing calmly, "Alright, let's throw it down to entrances."

Spotlights shined on Tunnel A, which had been covered with a sheet. Bayonetta's unmistakable shadow cast as she unfolded a chai. Bending down showing her silhouetted backside to the world, she then seductively lay across the chair, her bodysuit coming into form as the sheet fell, revealing Bayonetta herself. As she strode to the center stage, high-energy piano keys and a woman gracefully hitting high notes played over the speakers.

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on
A-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me.

"This song should be right up your alley, right old man?" teased 9-Volt.

"Assuming all old people like Frank Sinatra is an ageist comment young man!"

"Ya know, what, you're right, sorry about that," 9-Volt muttered.

As Bayonetta began to stretch to the wolf whistles of the most hormonal of the crowd, high energy synth and drums began to play, and the dulcet tones of the Squid Sisters could be heard as Torri emerged up the tunnel, much to the cheers of the Inklings in attending.

"This is Ink Me Up by the Squid Sisters, which we heard all the way back at Little Mac versus Rosalina and Luma," 9-Volt explained as Torri marched to center ring.

"Sounded like knives running up and down rusty garbage bins then, sounds like knives running up and down…" Cranky began to rant.

"Seven Stars, we get it," 9-Volt groaned, "Thankfully, Mills is here for introductions."

"And now," began the eponymous referee and announcer, having phased through the floor, "The following contest is a Round 1 Match in the Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Tournament. The winner of this bout will face Cloud in Round 2. Introducing first, to my left…"

Mills paused to let a new crop of wolf whistles die down, "Introducing to my left, she comes to us from the Bayonetta universe. She is the Umbra Witch, she is BAYONETTA!"

Cheers and wolf whistles did not break Bayonetta's glare at Torri.

"Introducing next, to my right," Mills said, "She comes to us from the Splatoon universe, she is the Ayatollah of Ink, she is TORRI GACHI!"

"WOOMI!" cheered Torri in synch with the Inklings in the crowd.

"Now, if Bayonetta wins the coin toss, the stage will be Umbra Clock Tower…"

Torri motioned for the microphone, which Mills dutifully handed to her.

"Bayo," began Torri, "I want to fight on your stage. If I'm going to prove I'm the best, I have to expand beyond Turf War."

Bayonetta nodded, "Cheeky! I accept."

Mills nodded as Torri handed back the mic, "So since we're all in agreement here, the stage will be Umbra Clock Tower, 2 stocks, items medium. Ladies already."

An annoyed click of the teeth from Bayonetta and an eager nod from Torri sent them out of Smash Stadium and onto the Clock Tower.

Stage: Umbra Clock Tower

Rules: 2-stock, items medium

Music: "Tomorrow is Mine," Bayonetta 2.

3

Bayonetta emerged, leaving an indecipherable arcane symbol of purple light in her wake.

2

Out of a purple puddle, Torri erupted forth in her squid form, landing in a curtsey in her human form.

1

GO!

Bayonetta charged while Torri stood firm. Attempting to shoulder-check her opponent, she was met with the bubble consistency of her Smash Shield. Jumping artfully behind her, Bayonetta could only turn into being bulldozed into the ground by the Ink Roller. Torri turned for another pass but was met with the fist of her Wicked Weaves.

"Tsk tsk," Cranky tutted, "Too early for that kind of nonsense."

Again, Bayonetta charged, and again, she was met with the Smash Shield. A flip kick sent the Umbra Witch into the air. Torri followed it up with a jump and yet another flip kick.

"But Torri's got a funky fresh groove goin!" 9-Volt cheered.

Now it was Torri's turn to charge as both hit the ground, her shoulder check connecting. Bayonetta attempted to fall through the air, crushing Torri with her legs, but the battle-ready Inkling cartwheeled out of the way at the last moment, spraying her with her Splattershot, quickly following that with a glob of paint from a metallic, futuristic-looking bucket.

"And Torri sloshes Bayonetta with the Slosher!" 9-Volt announced.

Out of instinct, Bayonetta pedaled back, only for Torri to expertly follow, hitting Bayonetta with a playful slap, emptying the rest of her Splattershot onto Bayonetta before recharging.

"And Bayonetta is covered in paint!" 9-Volt explained as a visibly wincing Bayonetta further recoiled.

"I have…so many jokes," Cranky announced, who sounded like he was in pain himself.

"Well, keep them to yourself old man," scolded 9-Volt, this is a family show."

Bayonetta clocked Torri in the jaw with a back-bending high kick, firing the guns placed at her feet as she went.

"And now we see Bayonetta finally take control," Cranky explained.

With an inhuman hissing sound, Torri pressed forward with the Roller, only for Bayonetta to jump at the last second, flopping down onto her, firing even more bullets in her direction.

"And there's the inexperience," lectured Cranky Kong, "Shoulda spent more time in the training room."

"But how do you train for several thousand years of combat experience?" 9-Volt snapped, silencing the ape.

Torri sunk into a puddle as the onslaught continued, refueling her ink canister as she did. Throwing a Splat Bomb caught Bayo unaware, who was knocked back by the eruption of paint.

"Don't count her out!" shouted 9-Volt.

Picking up a Beam Sword as it fell out of the air, a sliding strike knocked Bayonetta further asunder as she landed. Landing again, Torri tossed the small sword towards her, only for Bayonetta to kick it at the last second, the weapon losing all flying momentum and landing expertly in her hand. Torri was too stunned to react as Bayonetta crossed the stage hitting Torri with a windup swing, sending her to the Blast Zone.

Bayonetta: 2

Torri Gachi: 1

As she fell from the Revival Platform, a Smash Ball appeared. Much to her dismay, the Inkling was faster on the draw than Bayonetta was, grabbing her and throwing her away from the action as Torri pumped Splattershot ammo into it. The power transferred to her, but Bayonetta unleashed a flurry of demonic jabs to re-materialize the Smash Ball just as quickly. Undeterred, the Turf War champ tossed the Umbra Witch away again, firing purple ink at the lazily floating Smash Ball, the power becoming hers again. Much as she had with the earlier Beam Sword, she plucked a Super Scope out of the air as soon as it appeared. Charging it to its maximum, she fired.

Bayonetta blocked the shot with a Hothead which expanded to a mammoth side. Torri's jaw hung open, Bayonetta grinned.

With a flick of her finger, Bayonetta unleashed the mini-sun upon Umbra Clock Tower, it bulldozing the still-stunned Inkling. Walking into another fist from a portal as he landed, she landed on a platform that had just appeared. At that moment, Bayonetta grabbed a Hammer. The classic tune played as Bayonetta jumped up on the platform, Torri charging her Super Scope…

The platform tilted. The hammer connected with Torri's head, sending her to the blast zone!

GAME!

"It's over!" erupted 9-Volt.

"She had the high ground!" Cranky quipped

The two commentators high-fived as the cameras panned to Bayonetta in the Smash Mansion Courtyard, pirouetting before pointing her guns at the camera. The splash screen declared the victor of the second to the last match of the day.

BAYONETTA WINS!

Torri clapped eagerly, a big smile on her face. Rita appeared to interview her.

"Torri," she said somberly, "I can't imagine how it feels to be two-stocked…"

"THAT RULED!" Torri shouted mic-clippingly loud, "That was the most white-knuckled I've been in a fight…ever! Sure, I got a little overwhelmed at the end there, but I'm gonna keep training, and I'm gonna fix that!"

"Well that's the spirit," Rita said, a warm smile on her face, "Any parting words for Bayonetta?"

"Naw," Torri shook her head, "But I've got some for Cloud. You'd better watch out, cause Bayonetta's an ass-kickin' machine! Just…don't kick his ass too hard Bayo, the Cloudanetta thing is actually totally cute. Catch ya on the flip side girlie!"

With a mischievous giggle, Torri skipped out of frame. Now, Mister Zero stood with Bayonetta, the Umbra Witch's arms indignantly crossed.

"A convincing win in Round 1, and now you've got Cloud in Round 2."

"I know," hissed Bayonetta, "And Torri, I respect you greatly, I may have even underestimated you, but if you speak that vile nickname again I will bust a cap in your ass. Speaking of that, Cloud, it's far past due for me to collect. See you in Round 2 sunshine!"

With a flirtatious wave, Bayonetta strutted up the tunnel. To her delight, Cloud was the center of a barrage of jokes, mostly from Smash 4 veterans, the SOLDIER's arms crossed, staring off into space.

One strike of the electric guitar yielded the final match of Round 1.

"DARK PIT VERSUS GREEN!"

"Ugh, finally," Dark Pit sneered, breaking away from the teasing of Cloud, "Gonna show you how it's done creampuff," he said, pointing at Pit, sat with Palutena

"Mmm, creampuffs," dreamily sighed Pit.

Dark Pit growled, stomping up to the room. His face twisted in anger when Green walked up to the center as well, nary a Pokemon in sight.

"Hey, where's your new Pokemon," came Dark Pit's biting teasing, "You aren't going to fight me by yourself are you?"

Green smiled slyly, "You'll find out when we get out there, just like everyone else."

"Mister Dark Pit you're in Tunnel A. Miss Green, you're in Tunnel B," ROB announced.

Both Smashers nodded, heading down the tunnel.

As Snake prepared to watch the final fight, his Codec rang.

"This is Snake," whispered Snake.

"Otacon here," Otacon greeted.

"Have you found them?" growled Snake.

"That's the thing. The Boss reached out to us."

Snake's blood ran cold.

"S-she did?"

"Yeah. They're all sharing a suite. They want to talk to you when you're dismissed."

"Okay. I'll be there."

"Great!"

Snake immediately saw Isabelle looking at him, concerned, "Are you okay Mister Snake? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I… I have a family reunion to go to." Snake mumbled.

Isabelle nodded solemnly, "I've got… a family reunion to go to."

"Families can be hard, especially yours," Isabelle nodded, "Want me to come with you?"

Snake thought for a moment, nodding, "I'd like that."

"Then that's what we'll do," Isabelle said, the two turning to watch the final hype video of Round 1.