Round 2 Day One: Dad's Club!

Smash Mansion

1930

Barrett Wallace stepped through the portal. The den of noise that Smash City often was cut, surrounded by the serenity of Smash Mansion, crickets chirping as night had finally fallen. Hearing the whistling wind sound of another portal opening, his head snapped in the noise's direction. A skinny man holding a large pot of coffee stepped through.

"You Sojiro?" Barrett asked.

"Yeah," nodded the man, "You must be Barrett?"

"You bet!"

Sojiro extended his free hand, Barrett shaking it with his non-metallic hand.

"Mmmm, coffee! Gonna need a cup once we get settled.".

A wry smile came over Sojiro's face.

"Technically, it's after-dinner coffee, best paired with pastry, but I can hook you up with a cup if it'll get you through this thing."

"My man!" cheered Barrett.

Barrett saw Sojiro's gaze shift to the trash bag over his shoulder.

"What'd you bring?" asked the café owner!
Barrett smiled wide.

"I BROUGHT CUPS!" Barrett declared.

Sojiro choked back a laugh, "Red solo?"

"You bet."

The old man grumbled, "Not the best for coffee, unfortunately. Coffee cups, even cheap ones, add to the atmosphere."

Much to Sojiro's shock, the muscle man laughed at that, "You sound like my girl Tifa."

"Tifa?" Sojiro asked, "Cloud's girlfriend, right? Futaba, my daughter, talks about her a lot."

"Most people do, for one reason or another," Barrett chuckled.

"Yo!" called out a new voice.

Down the walkway of the mansion strolled Cloud, a grin on his face.

"Spikey!" cheered Barret, shaking hands with his long-time friend.

"Ah, so you must be Cloud. I'm Sojiro Sakura, Ren and Futaba's adopted father."

"Pleasure meeting you," greeted Cloud, "Mind if I take that from you?"

"Oh no, not at all,"

Without hesitation, Cloud scooped the pot into his hands.

"Careful with that, it's hot," stammered Sojiro.

"I'm a SOLDIER," blurted Cloud, "I'm used to adverse conditions."

"A what?" blurted back Sojiro.

Cloud shook his head, "Never mind. Follow me."

And so, the three made the trek around the Mansion's massive exterior, eventually making it to the backyard. The three made it just in time to see Terry wobble through a portal, four pizzas in hand. Barrett observed the scene. Pacman and Bowser were at the grill while the others sat at a picnic table, chatting quietly amongst each other. The loudest among them was Cranky Kong, who seemed to be in the midst of riding Donkey Kong for some perceived slight. Barrett jogged lightly over to the table, depositing his garbage bag of cups over by the refreshment table, and heading over to the picnic table. Unfortunately, Sojiro had beaten him there, already deep in a conversation about coffee with Cloud. Begrudgingly Barrett took his seat next to Vergil.

"You must be Vergil," Barrett boomed, extending his hand.

Vergil simply scowled as the crickets chirped.

"You've got a hell of a form with that sword. Ain't seen nothin' like it since Cloud was in action back in the day."

That got a dismissive grunt. Barrett took in the hanging lights strung n the trees of the backyard. Game and Watch's rant permeated the otherwise peaceful air as Chrom, his victim, sat with his eyes glazed over, his head resting in his hands. Seeing Terry tap Sojiro on the shoulder broke him out of that.

"You're the Phantom Thieves' dad right?"

Sojiro chuckled, "Only Ren and Futaba."

"OKAY!" Terry shouted, "Those kids rock. Ren's got potential to take the tournament."

"Yeah, they all changed my life, and yeah, Ren's a hell of a fighter. You've got some moves yourself."

"HA!" Terry chortled, "Thank you!"

Pacman walked over to the table. "Dinner's almost ready, so can we get a roll call on what everyone brought."

"I bought the hamburger and hotdog buns," hissed Vergil.

"And you didn't kill anyone!" Pacman cheered, "Progress!"

"Yes," Vergil grumbled, "Nookington's way of packaging a lesser amount of hot dog buns than hot dogs is irritating, but the young bear at the counter, Ishmael, was competent."

"Anyway," Ken announced with a wave, "I brought a vegan potato salad. It's my wife Eliza's special recipe."

"The Kremlings bring gumbo," declared King K. Rool.

"The hot dogs are an old-time recipe done by me, young people," growled Game and Watch.

"I brought meatless chili, also a recipe of the wife," Chrom explained.

"My man!" cheered Ken, "Our wives could start a whole vegan thing."

Chrom laughed, "I supposed they could."

"Yes. To get back on track," Olimar said, "I brought Pik Pik salad."

"Brought the alcohol," Cloud muttered.

"Got fries and soda," Subject Zero muttered.

"Us Kongs brought coconut and banana cream pie for dessert," hooted Cranky from the head of the enormous picnic table, Donkey Kong rolling his eyes.

Sojiro cleared his throat, "I brought coffee for dessert."

"Got pizza from my favorite gas station," Terry said, pumping his fist in celebration.

Vergil sighed, "Are you serious?"

Terry nodded, "Yep! Best road food in Southtown!"

"I'm surprised you don't spend time with my idiot brother Dante."

"Might hit 'em up if he likes good pizza."

"The pizza isn't gonna be as good as the main event!" chortled Bowser, complete with a comedically small chef's hat, "The burgers!"

"And the fruits and vegetables straight from Pacland!" added Pacman.

There was a clamor of excitement among the dads before Bowser cleared his throat.

"When I started this club at the Duel Tournament, it was founded on three core principles, Comradery, networking, and learning. I hope that in future iterations of the club, people such as Brother Altair and Brother Sans, all of whom declined our offer, will feel comfortable attending. Please enjoy the night my friends, and enjoy the fixings."

In the clamor that followed, with the dads getting up to head to the food table, Barrett leaned over to Sojiro, "Huh, didn't think Bowser had a speech like that in him."

Sojiro nodded, "Don't judge a book by its cover I suppose."

Chuckling and nodding, Barrett got up and into line behind Terry who had lollygagged into line, breaking off from a conversation with Ken,

"Burgers and pizza?" gawked Barrett, filling up his plate with both, "Shiiiiit,"

"I'm telling you, man! Y'all Got Any of That Cheese Pizza is the best road food in all of Southtown,"

"That's the name of this rat poison? You can't be serious," snarled Vergil, piling the vegan-friendly fixings high.

"Odd name, yeah, but Franco's pretty down for a white guy," Terry explained as the line advanced forward.

"Is that that Bash guy you roomed with for a while?" Ken shouted from the back of the line, pouring some store-brand lemon-lime soda into a cup.

"Yeah that's Franco Bash," nodded Terry, exiting the line, "And it wasn't like I was his roommate, I crashed on his couch for three months."

Ken shook his head and Terry frowned over his shoulder, Barrett winced. This seemed like an old wound had just been opened. Casting the drama out of his mind, he sat down next to Pacman, who was squirting ranch on a slice of pizza in a zig-zag pattern. Then, he put down the ranch to delicately lay French fries on top.

"Used to eat like that when I lived in Cosmo Canyon, yes sir."

Pacman gave him a goofy grin, "You smoke?"

Barrett took a bite of pizza. He nodded approvingly. He'd have to get a couple of boxes before Smash City closed.

"Used to," admitted Barrett, "Kush was hard to come by in Midgar, and by the time I got outta there I'd lost the taste for it."

"Aw man," bemoaned Pacman, turning so that his feet dangled on the outside of the picnic table, "HEY VIRGIL! GET OVER HERE!"

Vergil rolled his eyes some distance away, begrudgingly shuffling onto the open seat at the table.

"So," Ken asked the group through a mouthful of assorted veggies, "Did anybody catch Off the Hook tonight?"

"Ugh, that poor dastard Quinn," Chrom groaned, "I dunno what Sans is trying to do, but it's so uncouth."

"Can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing," Sojiro shrugged.

"Agreed Sojiro," Bowser stated, his declaration full of melancholy, "But I've had to watch my anger lately."

"That's said," Subject Zero stated, whose plate only contained a half-eaten single hotdog, "How did you grill with those gloves on?"

"Oh," Bowser chortled, his downcast now expression now a sickeningly arrogant one, "I had some fireproof ones made for me. The Koopa Kingdom supplies military armament to most of the world, so some flame-retardant rubber wasn't hard to come by."

"Man," Ken laughed, "I might hit ya up for some. Sometimes I singe my hands when I throw too crazy of a Shoryu and…"

Ken was cut off by a sudden yelp. His face twisted as he gripped his head in pain.

"Is he...?" Sojiro began.

"Alright?" Barrett finished.

"Yes," King K Rool briefly broke from wolfing down his gumbo to speak, "He's having one of those dimensional distortion headaches."

"Aw, yeah," Barrett nodded sympathetically, "Had one'a them when I rocked up in here."

"Yeah," Ken grunted still rubbing his head, "I got used to getting 'em a lot more, what with Ryu jumping through every dimensional portal he finds, thusly warping reality, but I guess me and some other guys followed him in on that Brawlhalla assignment Mario wanted them on.

"I'll uh…have to ask Futaba about that," grumbled Sojiro mirroring Ken's head rubs out of confusion.

"You people and yer lore," hissed Game and Watch, gripping his hotdog with such vigor it exploded out of the bun, "In me an' Pacman's day, we didn't go galivanting around to the few other worlds that existed, no siree. We stayed in our place and we liked it."

"Yeah! You tell 'em!" Cranky broke from ranting at DK for the first time all night.

"Man, I gotta listen to your commentary all tournament long, please don't harsh the vibe here," pleaded Pacman.

King K. Rool chuckled.

"Humph!" Game and Watch growled, "You're an elder statesman of video games, and yet you still act like some n'er-do-well pothead!"

"Hey!" Cranky yowled, "Didn't anyone teach you to be respectful to a host when you're invited someplace?"

"Pot meet kettle," DK whispered.

"I heard that ya brat!" yelled Cranky.

"Fine," Game and Watch pouted, "If you're all gonna gain up on me, I'm going to make my exit. Enjoy the hotdogs, you ungrateful hooligans."

With that, Game and Watch activated a portal, standing up and wobbling into it.

Terry, who had taken advantage of the arguing to walk some distance away to set up a boombox was the first to speak, "He's gonna get his mouth shut real quick when he finds out the Ball move isn't gonna work on Pit?"

"You willing to bet money on that?" Ken challenged as he stood up to dispose of his plate.

"Not with your rich ass, no," The Hungry Wolf chided.

Bowser rubbed his hands together, the rubber on each hand squeaking together as he cackled.

"Speakin' of which, who do you we think will take the tournament. And you can't say yourself."

A West Coast hip-hop beat began to play as the remainder of Dad's Club pondered The President's question.

"Sephiroth," Cloud's first words all night came quick and fast.

Barrett whipped off his sunglasses reflexively, the eyes that they revealed full of shock.

"Man, really? After everything he's done ta you?"

Cloud shrugged, "If not me, him."

"Man, I think Dante's got it," Pacman announced, taking a puff of a blunt.

Barrett's posture relaxed as the man with the metal arm chuckled, "Yeah I was gonna say, if it ain't Cloud or the one-winged freak, it's Dante."

"Fools," Vergil seethed, "You're all fools. Krystal is driven, more than any of you could ever understand."

"What, are you two banging?" smirked Sojiro from the coffee station, somehow having used the commotion to get there without anyone noticing.

Vergil stammered, blushing. The Dad's Club shared a laugh over that.

"Do you think your boy will make it too Sojiro?" Cranky asked as Donkey Kong shot him a bewildered look.

"Ever since I understood what was going on, I've believed in Ren with all my heart, and he's not let me down yet."

Cranky Kong nodded sagely as King K. Rool cleared his throat.

"I believe that Donkey Kong will win as well Cranky," King K. Rool announced to the bewildered club, "He is the finest warrior I've ever known, and Donkey Kong finally surpassing Mario feels like destiny."

"Well...um…thanks you guys," the bashful gorilla rubbed the back of his head.

"Little Mac," Subject Zero offered in a near whisper.

"What was that Zero?" Bowser asked.

"I said Little Mac has my vote," Subject Zero announced.

"Yeah, Little Mac's competitive fire is crazy," Ken agreed, "But I gotta go with Sans. Mel's a big gamer, and he's in hog heaven in terms of all the new games there are, and Sans is his big hero according to the wife. Wait till I tell him I met Jake and Finn from Adventure Time as well! Not everybody's dad gives their kid's favorite game character and cartoon character their lumps in the ring.

"You know," Terry offered, "If you're gonna go with Sans and Zero's gonna go with Mac, I'm gonna go with Quinn."

"That beanpole? Why?" Bowser snorted.

"Because if he's willing to knock out a friend on multiversal TV, imagine what he's gonna do to anyone else who stokes that fire."

"Well, if we're talking about competitive fire, it has to be Daisy right?" Bowser asked the group.

Unsure clamoring was the response the dad's club gave him.

"You think she's gonna take the tournament? She got passed you pretty easy." Chrom chided.

"That's what I'm saying jackass," Bowser shouted, "You weren't there when she whooped my ass the first time. You just weren't."

Barrett blinked. Was Bowser sweating black ooze?

"So you've got Robin right?" Pacman quickly interfered.

Chrom nodded, "Yep! Him or Pichu."

"Okay, so that's all that then. How's the coffee coming along?"

"Nice and hot still," Sojiro announced, "Ready for whoever wants to take it."

West Coast hip hop played as the Ultimate Tournament Dad's Club enjoyed the coffee and pie, talking amongst each other well into the night. Even Bowser seemed happy Barrett concluded. Maybe he'd imagined the sweat earlier?

Eventually, the party winded down, with everyone retiring for the night. Soon, all that remained were Cloud and Barrett As Cloud cleared one of the tables, Barrett clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Spikey," the hulking gunner said, "How's the search for Conker going?"

Cloud didn't turn to look at him, "They don't share everything with us, but the word on the street is that there's none. Sans has been working as hard as he can, but I guess if you're not using The Smash Core to move around then."

"Well, they gotta be recruitin' all those villains some kinda way right?"

"I think we've got extra people working on it. Heard Peach bitching to Daisy about a drunk scientist calling Mario during some private time."

This information did not deter Barrett's frown.

"I don't like this, not one bit," growled the ex-AVALANCHE leader.

Cloud wheeled around, mirroring Barrett's frown, "Much like we had to learn how to trust me, you have to learn to trust Mario, I've seen him work, he'll find a solution…"

"Yeah, but if we operate on too little intel, we gonna have a Sector 7 incident all over again."

"Barrett," snapped Cloud, "If we could beat Sephiroth twice, we can do... whatever this is."

Barrett stroked his beard thoughtfully, finally nodding, "I suppose you're right Spikey. I'm gonna head back. I'm still working off the bedtime stories I owe Marlene."

Cloud simply raised an eyebrow, prompting a booming laugh from Barrett, "Between our little trip 'round the world, me an' Cid's bum ass search for oil, and the debacle that was Reeve reading her a bedtime story last night."

Strife smiled, "That bad?"

"The Reeve one especially, yeah. Anyway, gonna hit the hay. Wanna hit up The Happy Turtle after the next round?"

"Gonna train for a bit after, we'll go out the night before. I'd rather do this hungover than with muscle aches from training."

"Fair enough kid," Barrett laughed, "See ya around."

Spinning on his heel, he opened a portal back to the Trophy Hotel, waving as he stepped through it. Cloud took in the symphony of crickets, sighing.

"Gotta trust the process, all of it," he mused to himself as he continued to clean up.