Chapter 4

William was the first to wake the next morning and carefully rose, doing his best not to wake Elizabeth. He started the coffee pot and pulled out some of the remaining pastries as he considered the plans for the day.

This morning, they would return to Kirkwall and take a boat tour around the islands, and with luck, see some wildlife. They would also visit the island of Shapinsay, a picturesque island where they would be able to tour a castle and visit with some Highland 'coos', an experience Elizabeth had heard much about and was looking forward to very much. After that, they would return to Kirkwall to go on a private tour that would include lunch, as well as visits to unique shops, the site of the earliest church on the island, and other old buildings, and finally a tour of a couple different distilleries - one that makes whisky and one that made whisky.

In all, William was pleased with the plans he had made and was excited to experience it all with Elizabeth. For the first time in his life, William was really and truly in love and it was a euphoric feeling.

Moving toward his bedroom, he stopped suddenly as he spotted Elizabeth exiting the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel after her shower. She halted as well, suddenly embarrassed at being caught. She had forgotten her clothes in the bedroom and had hoped not to run into William.

He could not move, his mouth went dry, and his tongue was completely tied. Likewise, Elizabeth could not move - mostly because William was blocking the way to her room. Suddenly, William lurched forward and kissed her deeply. This kiss lasted for long moments, and neither could speak when the broke apart.

"I do love you, Elizabeth, and I will let you go if that is what you want, but I confess that I want you rather desperately right now, mo ghràdh," William panted.

"I want this, William, I do, but …" she trailed off, unsure of how to continue her thoughts.

William heard the hesitation in her voice, and, though not fully understanding, retreated slightly. Elizabeth was too flustered to know how to explain her thoughts and allowed it. "There is something we need to speak about, when things are less … um, insistent, before we move further, William. I told you last night that I love you too, and while we have spoken on many things … well, there are just some things we need to speak about first."

William nodded, still not trusting his voice. He kissed her lightly on the forehead before stepping back and allowed her to pass. He watched her all the way into the bedroom, where she turned and smiled at him briefly before heading into his own bedroom for a shower - a cold one at that.

Soon enough, dressed and having had their fill of coffee and pastries, they set off toward Kirkwall and their plans for the day.

Elizabeth was entranced by all they saw and experienced that day. It was an idyllic day for April in Scotland, especially for this far north. The boat ride was cool, the breeze from the ocean, along with the speed of the boat had William pulling Elizabeth tightly into his arms to help keep her warm. Far from being truly necessary, Elizabeth willingly snuggled against him, both for the warmth he provided and for the feelings it evoked in her. As they made their way to Shapinsay, they looked for whales, dolphins, or porpoises – Elizabeth was at first confused, thinking dolphins and porpoises were the same, but the captain explained some of the slight differences between the two. They were fortunate to see all three creatures on their journey, and Elizabeth was able to take a few pictures of them just as they surfaced.

On the island of Shapinsay, they spent a short time touring around Balfour castle and some of the other ruins nearby. They saw many animals, including the famed Highland Coo, as well as sheep and horses. One of the more interesting ruins they were able to see was the Burroughston Broch, which is still partially buried after having been partially excavated in the 1800s. Their tour of the island was short, and before long, they were back on their boat traveling back toward Kirkwall and lunch.

On the return trip, the captain pointed out various landmarks and shared stories of the history of the various islands they passed. They were lucky enough to spot some seals sunbathing on a rocky outcropping and a pod of dolphins jumping and playing in the water nearby again and both Elizabeth and William were awed at the beauty of the natural world.

One thing Elizabeth had noticed in Scotland was the abundance of delicious food. Kirkwall had many options to choose from, but they were taken to a cozy little pub and treated to various Scottish dishes, including haggis. Elizabeth was reluctant to try it, but with encouragement from both William and the guide, she did try it. It was not a favorite dish, but she could say she had eaten it.

After lunch, the tour guide took them on a stroll through Kirkwall's historic streets, telling them stories about the architecture of some of the older buildings and the quaint shops. As they walked through the streets, Elizabeth couldn't resist the allure of one small bookstore they passed and purchasing a few trinkets to remind her if the trip.

While the guide occupied Elizabeth, William visited another shop across the street where something had caught his eye. Recalling the items he had purchased for her at Loch Ness, he found yet another piece of jewelry to add to the rest. He was still considering how to give these to her, especially the far more costly and rather exquisite set he had just purchased.

It was in that shop that William came to yet another realization. As he had looked around the jewelry store, he had noticed a display of stunning diamond solitaires. Taking a few moments to look them over, he recalled two or three rings in the Darcy collection at home that would be stunning on Elizabeth. It was in that moment that he realized that he could not allow Elizabeth to leave Scotland without knowing she would come back. At that moment, he knew that before she left, he would ask her to marry him.

The thought struck him, and he reacted to it viscerally. Images of Elizabeth in a wedding dress, of her pregnant with their child, of several children gathered around them as they traveled as they had done this week. It took him a full moment to catch his breath as he considered the possibilities. Joy filled him as he imagined Elizabeth always by his side. "Would Elizabeth agree?" he wondered and worried.

"William," Elizabeth said when she saw him standing on the sidewalk in front of the bookshop. "Are you okay? You looked so happy for a moment, but then your expression changed, and it almost looked pained. Are you alight?"

"Yes," he replied hastily. "Just an idle thought crossed my mind. Did you find what you were looking for, mo ghràdh?"

Hearing the endearment on his lips caused her to beam. "I did, William," she replied happily. "I need to come up with a nickname for you. I am not certain I can pull off the Scottish ones."

"I will teach you a few later, my wee bonnie lassie," he teased, lightly kissing her. "As long as you tell me you love me, I am content, Elizabeth. I hope you know that."

The tour continued around Kirkwall, and they ended the afternoon with tastings of both whisky and gin at different distilleries. The guide explained both were made here in a nod to both the Scottish roots of the islands, as well as the influence of the Vikings who had once settled there.

Elizabeth had noted before that Scotch whisky was smooth and complex, with a smoky flavor that lingered on the tongue. Her first tasting earlier in Pemberley had been an eye-opening experience, and since then, William had sought to teach her more about the nuances of the drink, leading to a greater enjoyment of this tasting as she now knew more. The gin, on the other hand, was crisp and refreshing, with a burst of citrus and herbal notes. As they sipped their drinks, they learned about the distilling process and the unique characteristics of the spirits, particularly the gin, produced on the islands.

As they would leave this idyllic little respite tomorrow, William and Elizabeth lingered after the tour had finished, continuing to walk around the little town, mostly wandering and holding hands, while talking about light things, knowing that when they returned to the cottage, they had something more serious to discuss. However, as they wandered, they simply relished each other's company and basked in the feelings that arose from it.

Eventually, they decided it was time for them to return to their cottage. Picking up some food for dinner that night and breakfast in the morning, they drove back to their seaside retreat. Sitting cross-legged and facing each other as the spoke, they enjoyed their simple dinner of cold-cuts, cheeses, bread, and fruit. Finally, Elizabeth began the conversation she had feared, wondering how or if it would affect their relationship.

"Uh, this morning, um, we said we would discuss some things later, and I was wondering if now was a good time?" Elizabeth said, ending in a rush as she attempted to push the words out.

At William's nod, she took a deep breath and continued. "I have a complicated relationship with my mother," she started, causing him to look at her oddly for a moment as he considered what this might have to do with what had happened that morning. "I know I have told you my father left shortly after I was born. His mother stayed in our lives, but from that point on, Mama paid little attention to me. Granny did a lot for me until she passed away, but by then, I was older, more self-sufficient."

She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts as she continued the story. "From the time I was little, I remember a parade of men in and out of our house, and particularly in and out of Mama's bedroom. She would bring home boyfriend after boyfriend and would introduce them to Jane and I after just a date or two, trying to get us to accept them as our 'new father' over and over again. It was awful. Few of them made any effort to get to know us much, and like I said, for a number of years, I was kept away from a lot of it by Granny's involvement. Several of these boyfriends moved in for a time, but all eventually left, a fact which upset Mama more and more, since she had no idea why none of them stayed. She blamed me … said my impertinence and outspokenness drove these men away from her and each of them 'broke her heart'."

Once again, she paused, and he just waited, although he reached over to her and entwined their fingers together. "I saw and heard far too much as a kid and as a teenager. Mama so craved 'love' although I am not certain she ever knew what that really was. She got sick a few years ago, most likely from an undiagnosed STD from all her partners, even though she swore she always used protection, but the fact is, she would sleep with anyone and I don't know how discerning she was.

"What all that means is, that watching Mama, I made some decisions about how things would go in my life. I was determined to act in an opposite fashion and to protect myself and my heart. I, uh, I am a … I mean I have never …" she trailed off, not really wanting to finish the sentence. Brave in so many areas, this was an area where she was uncertain. Most guys, when she had had this conversation before, left afterwards. Few guys she had known were willing to wait for her to be ready or to offer the commitment she sought. "I am a virgin," she nearly whispered, finally saying it. "And I have no intention of changing that until I am married, or at least engaged, although I do know engagements can be broken. I do not want to my heart broken like my mother's was, especially not over and over again, and have chosen to wait until I had a more permanent commitment to someone." She sighed at finally having been able to get it all out.

William, who had listened intently to her story doing little other than holding her hand, simply looked at her after her confession. After a few moments, he finally spoke. "I am not going anywhere, Elizabeth, and I am happy to wait for you, for whatever time you deem it right. I love you, Elizabeth, and it occurred to me earlier that I want nothing more than to be with you forever. I … I am not ready to propose at this moment – we have not known each other long enough for that – but I do know that I what I feel for you is not fleeting or mere infatuation."

Elizabeth sighed and leaned into his touch. "I love you too, William, and I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. I think … I mean, there are some serious conversations that we need to have before we contemplate something as serious as marriage. Especially given the fact that I live on a different continent than you at present and my trip to Scotland does have an expiration date."

It was William's turn to sigh. "We do have several things to work out. If we decide to pursue this further, which I honestly hope to do, I do have the connections to ensure you get a resident visa or even to help you gain citizenship, if you were inclined to do that. You have mentioned only a few family members, but I do have the resources so we can travel frequently to visit anyone you wish to keep in contact with. However, as we have discussed before, I cannot move continents, but if you were willing, you could. You would not have to work, but you certainly can if you wish to. I realize these are only a few of the things we need to work out, but I want you to know that I am committed to thinking through them and figuring them out."

She smiled up at him. Leaning across the remains of their 'picnic' in the floor, they met for a short, sweet kiss. They remained that way for several long moments after the kiss ended, both of them smiling into each other's eyes.

Soon enough, they broke apart and on standing, worked together to clean up the remains of their dinner. Snuggling on the couch as they had the first night, they watched movies until it was late. Once again, Elizabeth had fallen asleep leaning into him, and he carried her to bed. This time, she did not wake, and he reluctantly took himself to his own bed. The temptation was hard to resist, but resist he would, until she was ready to take things further between them.