Round 2
Banjo-Kazooie vs. Terry
Banjo and Kazooie played their musical instruments on one side of the ensuing match graphic, while Terry hit his classic, "stand up," pose.
Banjo and Kazooie were on screen first.
"Ya know Terry," Kazooie began, "I like you, You remind me of Banjo. Just two downhome bumpkins enriching their community and doing right as best they can."
As Banjo's face twisted in confusion, visibly mouthing 'bumpkins?' Kazooie continued.
"But there's one thing he has that you don't. A devil on his shoulder, me. I am more ruthless than you ever will be and as such, we're gonna win. I was really looking forward to fighting Edelgard, 'cause she strikes me like the kind of girl who'd stab her grandmother to get to the top."
As the Smashers' Box's occupants listened to Nikki and Kazooie argue back and forth about the implications of that comment, Hubert stood, "The bird knows too much," he declared, unsheathing a knife.
"Hubert, settle," ordered Edelgard, "Banjo and Kazooie are friends of Edestria,"
"Much to my eternal befuddlement, but your word is law Lady Edelgard," announced Hubert, sitting back down.
"All I'm saying," Kazooie finished, "Is you'd better bring your a-game and more because Banjo and I are ready to go to war for the rest of that prize money."
"Don't lie to the people Kazooie," warned Banjo, "We all know this is about getting a shot at Joker, and becoming Phantom Thieves."
"I mean, yeah, mostly, but the prize money is a nice bonus. Maybe you're content to bum it in the cabin but I'm not. I want a nice seafront property…"
"And we can open that restaurant!" Banjo finished.
"Yep!"
"Gyuh-huh! Took you long enough to come around on that! Now I'm extra motivated! Let's go!" Banjo cheered as they stood to leave.
"You know," Sans muttered from inside the Smashers' Box, "The flirtatious signs were there even before I spilled the beans. It's like the author thought of this in post-production and is hastily retconning."
"Yep, retconning like an American superhero comic," grumbled Travis, "At least he's read a wiki about my game recently, so hopefully there'll be no such bullshit in my fight,"
"To check out the references Shinobu made about wrestling while she was recovering from the Fu attack?" Sans laughed.
"You know him too well,"
"What are you guys talking about?" asked Dante.
"Nothing," was Travis and Sans' simultaneous response.
Corrin shot a sour look over her shoulder at the three. Terry had not sent much that she hadn't heard before. Wubba Wubba, his love for Banjo-Kazooie, but how he'd have no problem Buster Wolfing them if given the chance, as he'd had to do it to his brother, master, and son to get to the top. But Corrin could listen to that voice for hours.
Futaba had picked Terry, now all that was left was for Cranky and 9-Volt to throw to entrances. When they did, a banjo solo version of the Spiral Mountain song played, Banjo skipping merrily with Kazooie flexing her wings to the crowd.
"Huh, no insulting entrance song this time around," observed 9-Volt.
"That bit was so three years ago! Get with the times!" Cranky shouted.
"That was such a hypocritical statement that I'm surprised the entire multiverse didn't just blink out of existence from your sheer audacity,"
"Banana Bird alive, that was such a stupid comeback!" snapped the elder Kong, "I'm getting you a joke book for Gift Day. Nobody needs to hear that internet message board nerd boy crap."
"Well," 9-Volt shrugged, "It's nice to be thought of anyway,"
As Banjo and Kazooie stepped to the center of the stadium floor, Departure from South Town began to play, Terry strutting out as the electric guitar began to play. Grinning for the entire long walk to the ring, Terry extended a hand to Banjo as he approached the center. The bear shook it, Kazooie slamming a wing on top of Banjo's paw.
Terry couldn't help but watch Banjo as Mills Frames made the introductions. He felt admiration swelling within him as he watched the bear and bird pose happily at the mention of their names. Such a scandal being revealed to friends would shatter less confident creatures, but here they stood, seemingly happier to be together than they'd been for the entire tournament.
Maybe it's time for me to GET SERIOUS about her… Terry thought.
"...He is from the King of Fighters universe, he is The Hungry Wolf, he is TERRY BOGARD!"
"OKAY!" Terry shouted, throwing his hat into the air and catching it on the way back down.
"Now," Mills began, "If you'll please bring your attention to the stage selector,"
Bear, bird, and Hungry Wolf turned to the big screen. The stage flickered past, landing on…
"KING OF FIGHTERS STADIUM!" 9-Volt repeated, "This is the first repeat we've had all tournament!" 9-Volt shouted.
"Which means we're officially better than any radio or TV station!" quipped Cranky.
"That's fine, that's fine," Kazooie shouted, "Whooping your hipster denim-wearing booty on your own turf to prove your win was a fluke will be our pleasure."
"Hipster?" Terry balked, "And besides, Banjo wears denim too. Jorts!"
"You told the King of Fighters website you consider buying vintage jeans a hobby, who does that?" Kazooie giggled.
Terry rolled his eyes, "That was a prank by my ex, Blue Mary. She got a hold of my form and put that on there, and I submitted it without looking at it, and that's one of the many reasons why she's an ex."
"Aw sucks, sorry to hear that," Banjo sighed, "If I had a doubloon for every time Kazooie did that to me, I'd have bought that restaurant by now," Banjo explained.
Kazooie shrugged, "Easy as stealing Grunty's mail. I mean, that nasty old witch subscribes to so much weird shit. The Super Gutlifter Catalog, Fat Hag Monthly, Big Butts and Guts, Warty Girls Monthly, Man-slave today…"
"Yo, uh…" Terry paused, "What was the one about the big butts…"
"Thank the Seven Stars they aren't mic'd up," grumbled Mario as the rest of the Smashers' Box laughed
"If I may continue," Mills snapped, "The rules are three-stock, items medium. Are you both ready?"
Banjo and Kazooie cast thumbs up at Mills. Terry did the same, disappearing from Smash Stadium along with the bear and bird duo as he did.
Stage: King of Fighters Stadium
Rules: 3-stock, items medium
Music: Haremar Faith Capoeira School- Song of the Fight (Fatal Fury)
3
From a puzzle-piece-shaped portal, Banjo and Kazooie stepped out
2
Terry Power Dunked into the arena floor.
1
Kazooie patted Banjo on the head so quickly that Terry almost didn't catch it as he got into his fighting stance.
GO!
Banjo bolted to the other side of the arena, while Terry stood firm. As soon as the duo began to roll, Terry used a feint Power Dunk to move out of the way., only to be jabbed in the back with Kazooie's razor-sharp beak as soon as he landed. He turned, only to be jabbed in the stomach this time. A one-two punch combination followed by a Power Dunk brought an end to that nonsense quickly.
"Oh boy, jab jab Power Dunk," Kazooie heckled as Banjo twisted in mid-air to land on his feet, "What are you, a 12-year-old playing KOF 94 on McJiggies wifi?"
"Mc-"
Banjo rolled into him mid-word. Terry bit down his tongue to avoid cursing.
Anytime Kazooie talks, it's to leave ya open got it, Terry thought to himself.
Eyes darting around the arena, he saw a Sticky Bomb. Pivoting so that he landed near it, in one motion, he scooped it up and threw it, the jelly-like explosive latching onto Banjo's right knee.
"Ha!" Terry cheered, pumping his fist, "Knew those pickup baseball games at Delta Park would pay off someday!"
Meanwhile, his opponents were much less joyful.
"KAZOOIE! RUN!"
"WHADDYA THINK I'M DOING?"
Twisting and rolling to avoid content, the bomb finally exploded on the duo, sending them rocketing upward. As Terry paused to catch his breath, he was poked in the head by Kazooie's beak, the duo having launched themselves downward.
"Dang!" Terry yelped, "You guys don't give up!"
A Fire Flower began to float gently down. Immediately, Banjo proceeded to hold Kazooie like a bayonet, pelting Terry with eggs as they slowly walked backward, eventually grabbing the Fire Flower. As Banjo held it in front of him, Terry hit a Crack Shoot followed by a Power Dunk before he could even grab the stem.
"AND I DON'T NEITHER," yelled Terry.
A Burn Knuckle sent Banjo and Kazooie against the wall that protected the competitors from the Blast Zone, very nearly cracking it.
"POWAH DUNK!"
Terry launched upward. On the descent, Terry's eyes widened. A Box had practically fallen into Banjo's arms, the bear heaving it up at him to block his big diving punch. Terry had only spent a second recoiling, but that was enough time for Banjo to retrieve the box's contents, a Poke Ball, and throw it.
"VUL," cooed the Alolan Vulpix as it appeared.
Terry dodged Banjo's next thrown item, a Bumper, with enough time to activate his Smash Shield to block Blizzard. At the risk of being stunned, Terry relented on his Smash Shield to allow Kazooie to peck him rapidly as Banjo crouched on all fours.
"Damn it," Terry whispered.
The bear and bird hadn't given him an opening like he thought they would, and so the Vulpix was able to breathe his freezing breath onto him, immediately encasing Terry in a block of ice.
"THIS IS PERFECT!" Kazooie squawked, "LET'S GO!"
Kazooie shielded Banjo with her wings, the feathers turning golden.
"WONDER WING TIME BABY!"
Just as the charging blow connected, Terry broke out of the ice. Luckily, Vulpix froze him again.
"ONE MORE TIME!"
Terry stayed in the ice long enough to be annihilated by Wonder Wing, but he broke out of the ice. Banjo rolled backward, picking up a Blue Shell and spiking it down, causing it to hover menacingly in the air. Unfortunately, this left them open for a one-two punch combination followed by a Power Dunk. Banjo and Kazooie bounced off the highest point of the left wall, bouncing them into the rarely seen upper Blast Zone of King of Fighters Stadium. As they fell in the background, disappearing in the flash of a star, the Blue Shell descended on Terry, its explosion knocking him through the right wall.
Banjo-Kazooie: 2
Terry: 2
"WOW, A DOUBLE KO!" screamed 9-Volt as the audience erupted in cheers.
"Bah," Cranky dismissed him, "I blame BS platform physics and cheap items that pander to people who suck at games. You wouldn't have had that problem when I was a lad, no siree."
The competitors stepped off their respective Revival Platforms, each grabbing Poke Balls that had just appeared. Banjo tossed his ball down first.
"Goldeen, Goldeen," sang the fish as it flopped across the ground before disappearing.
Kazooie growled, grabbing her head in frustration, "Who decided this Pokemon layout, Bill Gates? You know what, fine. Banjo, get 'im. It won't matter what Pokemon he has if we throw him through the wall first.
"Right," Banjo nodded.
Banjo's flurry of claw swipes did not deter Terry from unleashing his Pokemon, the mighty Deoxys!
"Oh you've gotta be kidding me," moaned Kazooie.
With an otherworldly cry, the legendary Pokemon from beyond the stars hovered directly over Banjo and Kazooie, unleashing the fullest extent of its Hyper Beam onto them, but a downward spike of Kazooie's beak followed by a Breegul Bash sent Terry through the wall, and into the Blast Zone.
Banjo-Kazooie: 2
Terry: 1
"BANJO!" shouted Kazooie as Terry stepped off the Revival Platform, running towards them, "Let's finish this!"
That was all Banjo had to hear. A Wonder Wing immediately collided with Terry, followed by another one in the air as he fell. Now, Terry was pinned against the wall, and Banjo was throwing grenades as fast as Kazooie was excreting them.
"I've always wondered that about Breeguls since I learned about them in science class, how do they…?" 9-Volt trailed off as the explosions continued to rain down.
"Kid, the fewer questions you ask about the Breegull anatomy, the better off you'll be, trust me on this one," Cranky explained.
Suddenly, Terry burst through the expanding cloud of grenade shards and the fire fist extended. Banjo was mid-throw when Terry asked the immortal question.
"ARE YOU OKAY? BUSTA WOLF!"
Fire pulsed through his arm launching the two. Terry charged after them. Two successive Power Geysers in the span of mere seconds were enough to put Banjo and Kazooie through the wall.
Banjo-Kazooie: 1
Terry: 1
"Woah," 9-Volt grunted, "Didn't know he could do it that fast."
"As much as I hate flashy super moves in fighting games these days, you can't deny Master Bogard has been putting in his training," Cranky admitted.
Terry laughed, sinking to one knee as Banjo and Kazooie appeared on the Revival Platform.
"I gotta admit, this is the best fight I've had in years," he huffed, "But it's time to give up. I can go like this for as long as I have to, and that stupid wall between us and the Blast Zone will only protect ya from so many Buster Wolves and Power Geyers. I really don't wanna make Thanksgiving venison or turkey outta two buds, so please, just surrender."
"Ain't Venison deer meat?" asked Banjo as their Revival Platform disappeared, forcing them to land on the ground.
"It doesn't matter!" Kazooie shouted, "We didn't give up when Gruntilda nabbed Tooty, or when that boney old hag annihilated Jingo village, or when she traveled through time, or when she…"
"I think they get it Kazooie," whispered Banjo, rubbing the back of his head.
"Hell, we didn't even give up when some dumb Earth 1 politics ripped us away from two sets of friends. A walking, talking pastiche of 90s cringe is the absolute least of our worries, I assure you!" Kazooie finally concluded, breathing heavily.
"Fine, your funeral," Terry scowled.
Terry was moving towards them at the speed of a car.
"ARE YOU OKAY?"
"WONDER WING!"
Golden wings sped toward flaming first, but just as Terry got within arms reach, something exploded, knocking Terry back.
"WONDER WING!"
Terry took the full brunt of the blow, snapping against the wall and bouncing back up. Banjo and Kazooie jumped up to meet him,
"WONDER WING!"
Another Wonder Wing erupted, this one sending Terry through the wall!
GAME!
"WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED!" 9-Volt screeched.
"Can we go to a replay? Does this podunk setup even have it?" demanded Cranky.
Sure enough, a frame-by-frame analysis showed Kazooie dropping a grenade mid-Wonder Wing. The explosion zipped around the invincible aura provided by Kazooie's golden feathers, engulfing Terry.
"UNBELIEVABLE!" cried 9-Volt.
"Pure ingenuity, that could only come from proud children of the Rare Archipelago!" hooted Cranky.
"Don't tell me you could possibly be taking credit for this," groaned 9-Volt.
"No, but they're the favorite sons of my Archipelago. We got an expansion pack on the 64 and still couldn't outdo Banjo-Tooie. I know when I'm beaten, and they just proved how exceptional they are here tonight."
"Wow…um…" stammered 9-Volt, "A compliment from Cranky, you heard it hear first."
"Don't get used to it," Cranky growled.
On the Smash Mansion Courtyard, Banjo proudly marched in place, taking a bow as Kazooie unfurled her wings.
BANJO-KAZOOIE WIN!
Terry clapped in the loser's quadrant of the screen, the screen becoming his as Mister Zero walked into the frame.
"What happened out there?" demanded Mister Zero.
"I got cocky," Terry shrugged, "They innovated, I didn't. But honestly? I'm glad I made it this far, and I couldn't have done it without the support of my South Town homies, my training partners DLC and my girl Corrin. Baby, I don't know what the hell this Southtown bum did to catch your eye but I'm the luckiest guy in the world for having done it. Thanks, babe," Terry blew a kiss to the camera as he walked away.
Meanwhile, Kazooie had her wins rested on Banjo's shoulders as Rita held a mic up to them, "One of the most incredible things we've seen in Smash ever leads to a victory! Your thoughts?"
"All freaking tournament," Kazooie wheezed, "The people have been asking WHEN TERRY! Well, Terry, time is OVAH BABY!"
Banjo grabbed Kazooie by the neck, pinning her against the wall, and the two proceeded to make out.
"Oh my God," Rita balked, "Um…we'll be right back after these messages!"
"I KNEW IT!" Cranky cackled, "I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! CHUNKY KONG OWES ME 3000 BANANA COINS, THE DAFT BASTARD!"
Finally, Banjo emerged up the tunnel, carrying Kazooie bridal style,
"And cut to commercial, final intermission!" Mario called.