Round 3: Day One
Smash City
Television Studio
800
"Yo yo yo!" Marina cheered as the light and cameras flared to life.
"You know what time it is!" Pearl began.
"IT'S OFF THE HOOK!" both girls chanted to the cheers of the audience.
"As per yooj," Pearl explained, "We have a few guests to give their thoughts on the round coming up."
"Right Pearl," Marina agreed, "And we've spared no expense in getting a diverse panel of experts on board. From The 12, it's Link!"
"EEYAH!" Link screamed as the spotlight above him turned on.
"From the Melee tournament Roy!"
Roy waved politely to a throng of fangirl cheers.
"From the Brawl tournament, Diddy Kong!"
"Hoo hah, I'm Diddy!" Diddy greeted the hooting of many Kong Jungle residents in the audience.
It was now Pearl's turn in the rotating introductions "From the Duel tournament, it's Bayonetta,"
"Charmed," the Umbra Witch said sarcastically.
"And from the Ultimate Tournament, it's Incineroar!"
"HOLLA, IF YA HEAR ME!" cheered the cat Pokemon, flexing his muscles.
"So what we like to do here, for those of you who haven't seen our show, is for our panelist to predict a match of the night and an MVP. Link, since you've got seniority, I'll let you go first," Marina explained
The Hylian cleared his throat "Well, I'm duty-bound to say that the MVP will be Zelda. Lucina has been putting in a lot of training, credit where credit is due, and everything, but there's no one who's mastered her craft quite like Zelda. As far as the match of the night I'm obligated to say Cloud versus Ritcher. If there are three things I personally love to watch in a fight, it's swordplay, projectiles, and magic, and that'll have plenty of all three!"
The crowd clapped, Pearl flashing him a knowing smile.
"That's a pretty reasonable opinion, and as we all know, that's funky fresh around here," said the pale squid girl, "We're going straight on down the line. Roy, same questions."
"MVP will be Sephiroth," Roy said, "Much as I regret to say it, he's got the finest swordplay and magic I've seen in a tournament thus far. The match I'm most intrigued by is Luigi versus Daisy. I get squeamish at the thought of sparring with my Lilina, so I think it'll be interesting to see if there's any such hesitation between them."
"Honestly, I'm on the same boat about the match of the night as you Roy," Marina said, "It'd be like if I had to spar Pearl,"
"I'd totally kick your butt!" bragged Pearl.
Marina rolled her eyes, "Thanks for that bud. Anyway, Diddy?"
"MVP will be Donkey Kong when he bulldozes Dark Samus," Diddy cheered.
"Wow, biased much?" came Bayonetta's snarky question.
"I mean, I'm sure you want Dark Samus out too because of Samus."
"That is true, but at least I keep my biases in check, you hyperactive little chimp."
"Well you seem opinionated," snapped Marina, "So I'm gonna throw it to you Bayonetta. Match of the night, and MVP please."
"Match of the night is going to be the three-way without question, and the MVP is going to be Dante. He and I have a kinship I do not wish to explore, much less talk about in public."
The crowd 'oohed' at the question.
"Oh can it, you pervy wankers," shouted Bayonetta.
"Someone's defensive," giggled Pearl, "Anyway, Incineroar, same question."
"Match of the night is gonna be the three-way," Incineroar proclaimed, clearing his throat, Ya know, I've been hearing a lot of marks in the crowd say that all Smashers are created equal. But you look at Dante and you look at Master Chief, and you can see this statement is not true. See, normally, if you go one on one in the Smash arena, each Smasher has a 50/50 chance of winnin' But Dante's a genetic freak, and he's not normal. So Chief has a 25 percent chance at beast at beat Dante. And then you add Travis to the mix, their chances of winning, drastic go down! See, the three-way at Sacrifice…"
"Sacrifice?" Pearl whispered, while Marina's jaw simply hung open.
"Dante has a 66 and two-thirds chance of winnin'" Incineroar continued, "The other two jabronis have a 33 and ⅓ chance of winning
An android humanoid in the crowd began to spark uncontrollably.
"That's because Travis Touchdown knows he can't be Dante, so he's not even gonna try," Incineroar's rant barrelled on
"Man, I really shoulda paid more attention during Donkey Kong Junior Math," Diddy groaned, holding his head in pain.
Undeterred, Incineroar carried on, " So Chief you take your 33 and one-third chance of winning, minus Dante's 25 percent chance, and Master Chief, you have an 8 and one-third chance of winning at Sacrifice."
"Again with the Sacrifice," mumbled Marina.
"But then you take Dante's 75 perchance chance of winnin' if you was to go one on one, and add 66 and two-thirds chan… PERCENTS! Dante has a 141 and two-thirds percent chance of winning. Senior Chief, the numbers spell disaster for you at Sacrifice," Incineroar finally finished.
Applause erupted.
"Wow!" Pear said, barely audible among the applauding masses. Our next segment will feature Professor Briggs teaching you how to build your own F-Zero vehicle at home, and Starfy telling us about the lives of an assist trophy, after these messages!"
Donkey Kong
Smash Mansion
Mute City SNES Stage
1200
Fox McCloud opened the blast door to the Mute City SNES room to find Donkey Kong lazily splayed onto his side, headphones plugged into his communicator, nodding along to something playing. Immediately upon feeling the weighty door close, DK's eyes widened, jumping up to his feet and putting his headphones onto a rack in the corner of the room.
"You know," Fox began, "I was a little perplexed when I got your call?"
"Why?" was DK's sharp yet simple question.
"Well with the beef we had in the past, and we don't exactly hang out."
"Doesn't matter," snapped DK, "I need to train against somebody who's quick with a gun, and I can't think of any quicker than you,"
"Okay. To train against Dark Samus' projectiles right?"
The massive ape nodded.
"Okay," Fox nodded back, "Let's get started then,"
Trotting to the center console, DK pressed a single button, and the white, padded room morphed into the windy, pixelated track.
"Heh, you've had this set up for a while haven't you?" Fox laughed as the machine counted down.
He was met with yet another curt nod.
Nodding back, Fox sprang into action. He fired his laser as DK jumped. Fox smirk initially as DK drifted underneath him, thinking he'd misstepped or ducked for cover, but a Spinning Kong, nipping first at his ankles, then his entire body as he ascended, proved him otherwise.
Fox fell stunned onto the Blue Falcon, "Ow. You'd think I'd stop flying for that,"
"You'd think," DK smiled down at him.
As DK jumped down, Fox sprang up, jumping backward as he kicked the incoming King of the Jungle. Fox fired his laser as rapidly as he could.
"Shield or mind your range. That's the only way you're going to get through Dark Samus," Fox lectured.
DK swiped at his ankles, the curvature of the Golden Stingray proving surprisingly good footholds for the vulpine's booted feet. A hammer fist finally knocked McCloud upward, the rocket-powered platform moving away just as he intended to land on it, leading to an unceremonious arrangement with the pavement. Luckily, the impact sent him to the second platform, DK following him, only to get pelted with a barrage of kicks from McCloud.
"Your best bet is items big guy," McCloud explained, "Dark Samus hits a lot harder than I do."
Another palm thrust took him off his feet, Fox jumping from the Blue Falcon to the left platform. Donkey Kong was hot on his tail, a headbutt from below sending him up. Fox made a grab for an X-Bomb, the explosive engulfing DK as he set it. Through the jetting fire, DK fired rapidly from a Staff McCloud hadn't seen him grab.
"There might be some hope for you yet," Fox smiled.
DK landed on the platform, "You doubted me?"
"No, but…"
DK stepped off the platform, letting the moving surface add on more damage. Fox followed his prone opponent, only for the big ape to kip up and clap Fox in between his gigantic hands, sending him up into the Blast Zone.
"Stop Code ABZR," Donkey Kong growled.
"No contest," declared the canned voice of Mills Frames as the room materialized to its normal blank state.
"Yeah, I was gonna call it if you hadn't," Fox said, wiping the sweat from his brow, "You're gonna be in good hands."
"Thanks," DK nodded, "I'm gonna hit the free weights,"
DK brushed past Fox, leaving him alone.
"Well that frees up my afternoon," Fox said, holding his communicator aloft, "Wonder what Krystal's up to?"
Luigi, Dark Samus, Ganondorf Akechi, Sephiroth
King Dice's Casino
Arena
1100
Luigi couldn't help but sniff the air of the stage upon which they sat. The white cloths that sat upon each other hundred tables seemed freshly clean and pressed, but even still, the room smelled like cheap cigars. The moss green hanging lights above each table, matching the room's moss green paint job didn't exactly detract from the cheap bar vibes Luigi felt.
"EY! GREENIE!" barked King Dice.
Luigi jumped. They'd all been standing at attention as King Dice had paced the stage, but Luigi could only bare so many mobster cliches before he zoned out, "Mooks" this and "Offers them Smash Bros can't refuse," that. Luigi thought back to the biggest poser he knew in his youth in New Donk, a velvet tracksuit-clad goon named Two Dimes Tony. Even he hadn't talked like that.
"Since you seem to think my rallying of the troops is so friggin' boring, you're up first.
Wario and Porky snickered as Luigi stepped forward, "So do I need to go somewhere or…?" he began.
King Dice smiled, his creepy expression somehow made even creepier with the widening smile.
"You ain't gotta worry about that. Transportation's on the house."
King Dice produced a die from his coat pocket, the game piece glowing with pink energy. King Dice released into the air as it floated. King Dice clapped, and the die landed on one.
The world around him warped the rest of the Wa-ffice disappearing, the stage becoming a simple table while ghoulish onlookers of every monster typed watched on. Across from him sat three glasses, a martini glass, a bottle of whiskey, and a simple shot glass.
"Mister Martini here was doubtin ya kid," King Dice's omnipresent voice boomed, "So I gave him the opportunity to put the gloves on.
Luigi raised an eyebrow, taking in the martini glass' appearance, a feminine sort with shadowed eyes and rosy lips.
"Isn't she more of a martini glass than you?" Luigi asked.
"So I took my wife's last name. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?" Martini groused.
"It sounds like you wanted to fight, not me," Luigi snapped back.
"First you, now the pretty boy detective," moaned Martini, "Why'd you have to pick such a gang of smart-asses Dice?"
"Because they were the best suited for the job, as you'll see for yourself."
"Yeah," huffed Martini, "We'll see."
"BEGIN!" bellowed King Dice.
The next few minutes were a blur. Mrs. Martini's bomb-dropping olive, Mr. Martini's low-splashing booze, and the unnamed bottle of whiskey's hard liquor raining from above. Somehow, perhaps out of sheer skill or fear, Luigi dodged it all. Mister Martini went down to two Green Missiles, his whiskey-filled enforcer next to a supercharged Super Jump Punch. Mrs. Martini was somehow the toughest, dodging around him and waving her olive around to shoot more projectiles. Finally, Luigi got the idea to kick the olive back to Mrs. Martini, the exploding oily fruit causing her to reel back, opening her up to a barrage of punches.
"Okay, enough," King Dice commanded, "You've survived your first round of training.
"No thanks to you Daniel," spat Mister Martini
"Sorry boss," the whiskey moaned in a deep voice.
As Mister Martini carried his wife away bridal style, the table became a stage once again.
"Okay, Dark Samus, you're up."
An evil grin spread across Ridley's maw as Dark Samus growled.
Again, King Dice did the trick with the die, and the Phazon Warrior disappearing. A film projector whirred to life, showing Dark Samus and their opponent, a stack of poker chips, against the stage's red curtain.
"Begin!" King Dice ordered from the middle of the front row, Mister Martini sat beside him.
Dark Samus' near-perfect run against the poker chips was quickly the background noise for what interested Luigi most, a whispered conversation between Dice and Martini.
"Ya know, these newbies are impressive," Mister Martini admitted, "Da boss will be pleased."
"And like I told da boss," King Dice hissed through gritted teeth, "Sephiroth will be enough."
"You can understand why da boss is less than thrilled about his reliability." hissed Mister Martini.
"Keep yer mouth shut," snapped King Dice, "Just because you swore loyalty to The Devil don't mean I won't ice ya if you don't shut up."
Luigi's gaze snapped to Wario, who looked at the ground, his face baring an uncharacteristically worried expression.
] King Dice's gaze snapped to the screen, the dice looking punch drunk.
"That's enough," King Dice ordered, "Akechi?"
"Yes sir," Akechi stepped forward as Dark Samus reappeared on stage.
"You ain't been honest with us," growled the King.
"How so?" Akechi asked.
"You played around in the last training session," Mister Martini snarled, "But this time, you get me and the family, kapice?"
Akechi simply nodded.
Again, the magical die made its appearance, and both Mister Martini and Akechi disappeared to opposite sides of the table arena.
"BEGIN!" King Dice roared.
"MEGATON RAID!" Akechi shouted on screen.
In a white explosion, all three containers of alcohol were immediately KOed.
"Alright," King Dice explained, "Luigi, you and Dark Samus are training until we can figure out which of you's is the better between you's."
"Good," Mister Martini, "The initiation takes place tomorrow correct?"
King dice laughed, "Yep!"
Martini laughed back, "Da Boss will be please."
A shiver went up Luigi's spine.
"Oh mama mia," Luigi said under his breath.
Zelda
The Sheikah Gym
Smash City
Hyrule Section
800
"When Sir Bogard described a training gym," Erdrick shivered, "This is not what I imagined."
Ever since Erdrick had stepped into the obscenely tall stone building, he had found himself unnerved. The lights were dark. In fact, the only light permeating the stone room was shining blue Hylian text scribbled across every wall.
"Yeah," laughed the big guy standing before him, "I prefer to punch rocks myself. I'm Daruk by the way, pleased to meet ya,"
"I agree Mister Erdrick," Blathers gasped, "The sheer amount of culture one can understand about Hyrule's centuries of history just by being a place like this is…"
"Ugh," snarled a blue avian, not dissimilar-looking to Falco, "As if being mere training partners wasn't humiliating enough for the finest archer among the Rito, now I must be a captive audience for this overexcited scholar."
"Now now Revali," Purah cooed, "Forgive my little schnookums. He's just a little bit excited, aren't you sweet pea?"
"Indubitably my dear," proclaimed Blathers.
"Besides," shrugged a tall woman Erdrick deduced was the same race as Ganondorf, "I think it's cute that Purah found herself a lover that is as excited about learning as she is, even if he is an owl."
"There's a very racist joke to be made there," chuckled Daruk.
"Daruk, Urbosa, stop this at once," demanded Revali
"I must agree," Zelda admitted, "This isn't a social visit. There will be time for such proceedings later."
Zelda's friends all nodded in agreement.
"If I may interrupt," Erdrick asked, "Why have I been summoned?"
Zelda giggled. The darkness of the room obscured how red Erdrick's face was.
"Because," the princess began, "Your skills embody those of the Champions perfectly. For you see, it will be all of you versus me in a training scenario meant to echo the Joloo shrine."
"You intend to combine the tests of strength with the tests of timing?" Impa asked.
"I do," Zelda nodded, "What could be a better example of the Shiekah style than that?"
"You do have a point," Purah said, tapping buttons rapidly on a Sheikah slate.
As she did, the smooth floor became a segmented surface of cubes. Two cubes jutted up to the surface, while a cube with a torch on top lowered from the ceiling. Then, two water spouts appeared.
"I will even disadvantage myself on purpose."
With those words and a teasing wink, Zelda teleported atop the cube.
"I will keep this cube perfectly balanced in order to not extinguish the flame,"
Erdrick observed Zelda's mischievous smile as she spoke. She didn't think she could win, she knew she could win.
"Sweet pea," Purah said to Blathers, "We're going to want to give these guys the floor."
"Of course my dear," Blathers nervously agreed as they headed for the back wall.
"And, go!" Zelda commanded.
Erdrick exchanged glances with the other Champions, who sprung into action. Revali immediately took flight as the others charged. The Rito was the first to make contact, firing arrows at the princess.
"I think not!" snapped Zelda
A diamond encased her, firing the arrows back at Revali. As the bird banked right, Daruk leaped into the air, fist extended to bring it down for a mighty punch. In the blink of an eye, Zelda became Sheik, wrapping a chain around Daruk's mighty fist,
"Hey, what're ya…?"
Daruk couldn't get his question out before he swung at Erdrick, who had used Zoom to take flight. Revali fired three arrows, one after the other. Sheik dodged the first arrow, somehow hopping across the other two before they hit their intended target, a series of punches knocking Revali out of the air. Before Revali could even hit the ground, Sheik had teleported back to her place on the cube.
"Mipha, with me!" Urbosa called.
As Erdrick came to, a fish-like woman he hadn't seen jumped to the cube with Urbosa, Zelda fending them off as best she could.
"Throw me," panted Erdrick.
"What in the name of the goddess are ya grumblin' about?" demanded Daruk, creaking to his feet.
"I said throw me!" demanded Erdrick.
Daruk shrugged, "Your funeral,"
With a mighty toss, Erdrick was in the air.
"OOMPH!" screamed Erdrick.
Just as the power enveloped him, Sheik tossed down three Bouncing Fish, yanking the cord on them with her two hands and the webbing of her toes respectively. Three explosions set off, knocking Urbosa and Mipha off the platform, and knocking Erdrick out of the air.
Just before he hit the ground, he saw Zelda freeze and fall backward off the cube, sending the fire into the rushing water, and transforming back into her usual form as she fell.
"Heh, bullseye," chuckled Revali from a back wall.
Erdrick ran as fast as he could until he was underneath Zelda.
"KASWOOSH!" cried Erdrick.
Launching himself into the air, he caught Zelda in his outstretched hands just as Impa appeared, also catching Zelda. The trio landed safely.
"Oh, my heroes," Zelda whispered
Erdrick could only chuckle awkwardly. Zelda mirrored it as they looked into each other's eyes.
"I hate to break up this little love fest," snapped Revali, "But you don't intend to beat Lucina with a performance like that, do you?"
Zelda squirmed out of Erdrick and Impa's combined grasps.
"Once again, Revali is correct," Zelda declared.
"That makes twice in his entire life," mumbled Daruk
As Urbosa covered her mouth to hide a grin, Revali shouted, "I heard that, you big oaf!"
"In all seriousness," Zelda asserted, "If I cannot stand still confidently and move when appropriate, I have no hope of defeating Lucina. We will train until I have this right?"
Everyone in the room nodded.
"Good!" Zelda laughed, "Now let's begin again!"
Lucina, Robin,
Smash Mansion
Training Floor
Mushroomy Kingdom Stage
800
Lucina cautiously opened the door to the Mushroomy Kingdom stage. Both Lucina and Robin examined the room as they entered.
"This is where he said to meet us?"
"Correct, and at 800 hours,' Robin confirmed, "So where is…
A puff of smoke at the center shocked the couple into glancing in that direction. Crouched atop the console now was Hayabusa.
"Mm-hm," nodded Hayabusa, "This is the skill level we're dealing with."
"I beg your pardon?" Lucina snapped.
"I suspected your observing skills were not enough for proper ninja training, and I was correct."
Lucina frowned, "Let's assume for a moment that that's true. How will you train us?"
"Let us begin. I will explain from there,"
With that ominous proclamation, Hayabusa expertly backflipped off the console, typing on it with no wasted movement. The room became a humid desert, its blast zone ever encroaching.
"Lucina," Hayabusa beckoned, "Come at me,"
Lucina bolted forward Ryu turned his back, leaving himself open for Lucina's patented choke. Hayabusa tossed her over his shoulder, applying a choke of his own.
"LUCINA!" shouted Robin, bolting forward.
Elwind rocketed down to the ground as Robin leaped into the air. But, in a puff of smoke, Hayabusa was gone. The next second, Lucina had been slashed into the Blast Zone, as had Robin.
"I have taken great care in studying the Shiekah, not for you, but for my own training. Such a novice choke will not work against a disciplined warrior like Zelda."
"Then teach me," Lucina demanded.
"We don't have the time," Hayabusa shook his head, "Your best bet is to focus on your movement, and then maybe you can defeat Zelda."
"What about me?"
Hayabusa's eyes widened with an uncharacteristically mischievous glint.
"Your tools are satisfactory to fight against Ken. He lacks discipline."
Hayabusa shook his head again, "But enough talk, let us begin again!"
Ninja, knight, and mage charged.
Pit
Smash Mansion
Cafeteria
1200
"So let me get this straight?" Samus asked, at one of the tables "Wario wants to watch Luigi and Daisy….fornicate for a minor favor?"
"So it would seem," Peach, his tablemate, gagged, "Wario has been more despicable than usual lately, and that's something. We're investigating the matter now."
"Did Master Hand leavin' change the air in this place or somethin'?" Falco, in the middle seat, snapped, "This ain't even the weirdest thing to happen this tournament."
"Yes yes dear," Peach coaxed, "We all know you're disapproving of Fox and Krystal's reunification. Eat your cake."
Falco readied his fork to shovel a slice of vanilla cake into his mouth.
"Star Fox is always full of drama like this, and I don't get it. Why follow a guy you don't agree with? I say a guy like you should go it alone ?" Samus advised as Falco froze.'
"Bro, I just want to eat this cake," Falco grumbled.
"Am I bro to you now?" asked Samus, sounding very annoyed.
"Falco owes Fox a great debt, and has made a lot of money working for him," Peach said, "I don't blame Falco for continuing to work for him."
Samus shrugged, "Didn't expect a monarch to know about making money."
"Trust me, darling," Peach confidently announced, "My father made sure I knew about worker's rights, and that's only increased ever since I've gotten to know Mario."
As Falco again angled for the cake, Captain Falcon bolted up to them, "Afternoon citizens!" Captain Falcon greeted with his usual salute.
"I just want to eat this cake," reiterated Falco.
"I was wondering if any of you find folks had seen Pit," asked the racer, "He and I were meant to train to"
Falcon could barely get the words before a howl seemed to erupt all over the Mansion.
"I'M LAAAAAAATE" the seemingly omnipotent voice declared.
Then, Pit zipped into the room, somehow fastening a sandal mid-stride as he came to a stop, hopping on one foot.
"Sorry Captain, I overslept. Palutena keeps me up these days," bashfully admitted the angel.
Captain Falcon could only laugh, "I've been there before,"
Falco snapped his gaze to Samus and Peach, who shared a silent, knowing nod.
"Aaaand now I don't have the appetite for it anymore," Falco said, shoving away the plate full of cake.
"Aw sweet, free cake!" cheered Pit, emptying the cake into his open mouth, and swallowing the slice in one gulp.
Samus could barely hold back giggles as Peach's face briefly twisted into disgust, before she breathed in, and then out, "It's as Mario says, different strokes for different folks," Peach whispered.
"You ready to go young man?" asked Captain Falcon.
Pit enthusiastically pumped his fist into the air, "I'm ready to show you my moves!"
"YES!" Captain Falcon hollered, running down the steps to the Stage Hall, Pit eagerly following after him.
"You said you wanted to train on Super Happy Tree, right young man?" Falcon called as the two jolted down the long stairwell.
"Yeah," Pit nodded, "A nice, simple battlefield-like stage will help me try out some stuff."
"Noted!"
In a flash, racer and angel had made it to the long hallway, ducking into the room that contained the simulation for Super Happy Tree. Eagerly, Captain Falcon typed in the parameters, and the white room became a sunny day out of a children's book.
"Mmm," Pit moaned, sniffing the air around him as the clock counted down, "This place smells so good,"
"I know," Captain Falcon agreed, "Especially if you were lucky enough to fight here back in the day. Brings back memories, ya know?"
Pit nodded, the two competitors flying into motion, Falcon angling for a higher platform, while Pit stayed low.
"FALCON-" cried Captain Falcon
As he jetted down for his signature Falcon Kick, Pit spun his bow, clipping the rubber boot of the Captain.
"FALCON KICK!" Captain Falcon cried again."
This one connected. Pit bounced off of the Floor, crying out as the Power of Flight took him up, only to get volleyed by a series of flipping kicks.
"STAY BACK!" Pit cried, summoning two shields of light on either side.
Falcon's third kick connected with the impenetrable wall of light, a barrage of lightning-fast punches eventually breaking it.
"You have the right idea young man," Captain Falcon explained, "But Ganondorf will punch through that in a second."
"I was there for Subspace just like you," Pit shot back, "I know how powerful he is."
Captain Falcon through some kicks while Pit expertly ducked and weaved around them.
"If you thought he was powerful then, he's even more so now."
"Oh yeah?" Pit taunted, dropping to the floor, "I'll just keep light on my feet and.."
A thrusting palm strike interrupted Pit's rambling.
"Keep light on your feet," Falcon sneered, "And shut up."
The flash of an item being introduced caught Pit's peripheral vision. He jetted over to it with the Power of Flight, grabbing a Steel Diver. Falcon had charged after him. Pit launched all ten missiles straight at Falcon, each of them connecting with a meaty explosion. This didn't seem to deter Falcon, who jumped up, spiking him on the ground with a Falcon Dive.
"FALCON-" began a smirking Falcon, cocking his fist back as it glowed.
"STAY BACK!"
"PUNNNNNNCH!"
Pit's shields shattered like glass as the Falcon Punch connected. Lightning jabs were met with slices as two halves of a bow, as the two clobbered each other, an uppercut from the Guardian Orbitars knocking Falcon away. Again, Pit saw something spawn on the top platform, jetting to it. This time, he found the handle of a hammer in his hand, flicking it in his hand, clobbering Falcon, who had foolishly followed after him. The score was now two-three.
"See what I mean young man?" Captain Falcon, "Your only hope is to stay light on your feet and concentrate. We just need to beat those habits into you."
Pit nodded.
Falcon laughed, "You're a quick study!"
Pit nodded, "There's a reason why I'm captain of Palutena's Guard."
"I can see that! But we've talked enough! Show me ya moves,"
And so, the duo trained deep into the night.
Red
Smash Mansion
Training Floor
Battlefield
1000
Red silently walked into the training room, tapping the center console for Century Smash. Charizard was his first choice as the clock counted gone, starting the simulation. Flare Blitzes took out the first two groups. The third pounded a stunned Charizard with punches and kicks. Red frowned. He knew Charizard could handle it, but he knew what he had to do.
"Squirtle, go!" Red ordered, retracting Charizard
Squirtle found himself in the middle of the assault, but a pillar of water knocked them away. Squirtle danced around two Wire Frames as they appeared, and another duo as they appeared, then another, snaking them into the same area of effect.
"SURF!" called Red.
Rocketing into the sky, a pillar of water took the Wire Frame to the Blast Zone.
"Ivysaur, it's your turn!"
Now the flower dinosaur was on the field, luring the Wire Frames into a big burst of spores. Red cycled through his Pokemon, eventually completing the challenge.
GAME!
"And Donkey Kong's record stands," mocked a new voice.
Green
Red sighed, "What do you want?"
Green shrugged, "Wanted to see if you learned. But no, still training like an old man.
Green was met with glares from Red and Charizard. Squirtle and Ivysaur exchanged unsure glances.
"Get to the auditorium, and let me show you how it's done," Green snapped.
Rolling his eyes, Red retracted his Pokemon. Glaring at him in response, Green tapped some buttons on the center console, and the elevator to the auditorium appeared. Red wordlessly headed up, letting his Pokemon out of their Pokeballs. Below them, the plain room became Battlefield.
"Ugh, this should be good," Charizard snorted, rolling his eyes as the clock counted down
The canned announcement started the simulation. Cinderace and Inteleon kept the Wire Frames at bay with Flame Ball and Sniper Shot respectively, eliminating them quickly. The third throng managed to dodge the ever-revolving door of ranged Pokemon, leaving Rillaboom to stun the mob with Drum Beat and knock them away with his massive fists.
"Woah," blurted Squirtle.
Inteleon and Cinderace eliminated the rest of the opponents with no effort.
GAME! NEW RECORD!
"They broke DK's Century Smash record?" Ivysaur balked.
Red simply nodded, and the three took the ride down in the elevator.
"That's how we do down in Galar!" cheered Green as the three Kantonians touched down on the ground, "Are you guys gonna let him train you to lose?"
Charizard snorted flames. Ivysaur, meanwhile, glanced up at Red, "You gonna let family talk to you like that?"
Red simply looked down.
"You've got some time to think about it. We'll see you around."
The three Kanto Pokemon exchanged glances, nodding as Green and her Pokemon left the room. None the wiser, Red sighed, walking out of the room, his Pokemon following behind.
Wolf
Smash Mansion
Training Floor
Golden Plains Stage
1300
Wolf couldn't help but stare at the boy across from him. The Villager. Wolf had brought the boy as close to death as Wolf figured he'd ever been during the last training session, and there he stood, ready to help him train against Lucario's Aura.
"So, to begin," Villager began, "In my research about Aura, I wasn't able to compile much beyond what we already know, that the more damage he incurs, the more powerful he gets. So, outside of asking Lucario himself to train against you, which, according to Miss Trainer, isn't happening, I decided to find the stage that emulates it the closest."
"Which is why we're in Mario's bullshit world." Wolf snarled.
"I mean," Villager shrugged, "You said it, not me."
As Villager keyed in the proper variables, starting the training session, Wolf laughed, "You really are quite the politician aren't ya?"
A coy smile crept onto The Villager's face as the clock counted down, permitting the competition to begin. Immediately, the two darted around each other, gathering as many coins as they could. Wolf fired his blaster as Villager collected more.
"That's it!" The Villager encouraged, "Keep moving and firing. That's the only way you're going to get ahead."
A bewildered Wolf continued to dart around the ever-moving, coin-battlefield.
Three stocks later
WOLF WINS!
As Wolf simply crossed his arms in the Courtyard, the simulation melted around him. Villager clapped as it did.
"Very good," the young boy praised him.
Wolf brushed past The Villager, stepping out into the hallway. He keyed a series of numbers into his communicator.
"What's up boss?" Leon asked immediately.
"I need you guys to do some research," Wolf ordered, "Look up any battle ya can involving a Lucario and send it my way."
"Really? That's it? Some mundane information network research?" Leon pouted.
"Not all information gatherin' requires torture Leon, and you've been in the game too long not to know that."
"Fair," Leon whined, "But it feels like a great misuse of my skills to do some research any buzzard connected to a computer could do."
"The Villager did the same for me, so I figure we should double back, and see if there's anything he missed."
Panther's hologram appeared, "That said, why do you pal around with him of all people?"
"He ain't the first politician I've gussied up to for a favor later," growled Wolf.
"But you haven't taken any money though," snapped Leon.
"People who go up to the biggest baddest guy in the yard really intrigue me. Those kind of people are the people you want in your back pocket for later. Why do you think I haven't iced Fox and his crew?"
"Much to my eternal befuddlement," mumbled Leon to Panther's chuckle, "But you've had my back in the bowels of Hell, so I trust it."
"Good, now get to work," Wolf ordered, closing the communicator, "Me? I'm gonna get a beer."
As Wolf walked away, Villager watched from behind the door of a vacant training room, grinning ear to ear.
Little Mac
Smash Mansion
Training Floor
Mishima Dojo Stage
1130
LITTLE MAC WINS!
"Ooo wee!" crowed Doc Louis as he descended from the auditorium, the room's features reverting to their default, featureless white, "I hear a chocolate bar callin'"
Little Mac smiled. His training partner, Jin Kazama, grinned back from across the room.
"How do ya think I did?" Little Mac asked.
The grin did not falter.
"You did well," Jin nodded, "The Pokemon traded in your favor."
Little Mac suppressed a chuckle. Suicune had cost Jin his first stock, while a Staryu and a Meowth holding him aloft for a haymaker had cost him his second and third stock respectively.
"That said," Jin continued, "I've fought a boxer of a much greater stature, and you hit harder."
"That's the Doc Louis special. You too can learn the power of the punch for a reasonable fee," Doc chided.
Jin chuckled, "Thanks, but I'll pass. If you'll excuse me,"
As Jin walked out of the room, Little Mac's communicator rang.
"Hey, it's Quinn," the text read, "Would you be okay using the Boxing Ring for our match? I really wanna see who the best martial artist between us is!"
Little Mac flinched, as Doc Lewis was reading over his shoulder, the rotund man's movement somehow not detected by Mac's sharpened senses.
"You gon' agree to it?" asked Doc, "Part of me thinks he's handin' ya the win on a silver platter, but streets are sayin' he's got some new training partners these days."
"Ken and his crew right?" Little Mac asked, "Even if he does have a world champion boxer under his thumb, how much can he learn about defending against a boxer like me in two days?"
"True, but," Doc paused, "I just want ya to think this stuff through."
"If he wants to know the best martial artist between us, let him find out. You and I already know the answer."
Doc Louis laughed, clapping Little Mac on the shoulder, "That confidence is why I took you on boy. If you wanna go for it, then go for it."
Little Mac activated the speech-to-text function on the communicator.
"Yes," he barked into it.
"Shall I send the text?" asked the communicator's female voice.
"Yes send,"
"Text sent to Quinn Marmaduke." confirmed the artificial voice.
Ken, Quinn
Smash City
Street Fighter Section
E. Honda's Yakisoba
1132
"1100, 1101,"
Quinn counted the squats he did in the center of the training ring as the Street Fighters watched on. Suddenly, Quinn's communicator pinged. He read the text from Mac, a simple 'yes,"
"He said yes!" Quinn announced.
"Alright!" cheered Ken among the clamor of the other Street Fighters, "Dudley, the floor is yours,"
From the shadows stepped a black man dressed in a white dress shirt and green sweatpants, his curly mustache about as flawlessly buffered as the boxing gloves he wore."
"While I'm glad my appearance fee will not be wasted," Dudley began, stepping into the ring, "It would be simply rude of me not to ask if you wished to rest before continuing."
"No," Quinn barked.
"While I admire your spirit," Dudley began, "Having you squat so much as a simple warmup is utterly barbaric."
"Hey!" bellowed Honda, "He's in my house, he trains the Sumo way."
Dudley nodded curtly, putting his hands up, "Could someone in the peanut gallery please ring the bell?"
Sakura was the first up, frantically hammering the bell. Immediately, Dudley slid in one fluid motion, fist extended. Quinn channeled his chi, absorbing the blow, only hurricane winds to envelop the outstretched arms, cutting through his defenses, forcing the winded Marmaduke to back up into the ropes.
"While your mastery of 'parrying' is on par with any of us, that will not be a safety net against a pugilist like Little Mac. You must use your footwork. Do you understand me?"
Quinn shook himself awake, hopping on one foot as his other one became engulfed in flames. The first blow connected with Dudley, the boxer zipping around the ring, clocking him twice, once in the face, and once in the back of the head.
"Perhaps you misunderstood," Dudley tutted, "Hoping to defend against punches with your body is a barbarian's work.
"Uh-huh," slurred Quinn as he clawed his way back to his feet using the ropes.
"Come to the center of the ring with me and allow me to introduce you to my Rolling Thunder technique," invited the boxer.
Quinn did as instructed.
"And begin," Dudley prompted, a devilish grin overtaking him.
Quinn backed away, sucking in his gut to avoid the slew of punches that followed. Dudley came at him with such ferocity he backed Quinn into the ropes again.
"SUPLEX!" Quinn shouted.
With that, he took Dudley up into the air, spiking him on the ground.
"AH!" Zangief cried, "DEAL WITH ZE BOXER WITH ZE GRAPPLES, AS COMRADE INOKI TAUGHT US!"
Just as Quinn stood, a sharp pain erupted from his liver. Falling to his knees, he saw Dudley's face glaring back at him.
"Think we're clever, don't we sunshine?" he hissed.
Dudley hooked one arm around Quinn's back. His punches with his free hand pummeled Quinn in the liver. Six punches later, the Mii Fighter's entire body went limp, Quinn collapsing to his back from the pain.
"This land," Dudley heaved as he got to his feet, "Has flying cars, and medicine that can cure any sickness. If you think that a boxer invited to such a place has not found a way around the barbaric grappler, you are sadly mistaken."
"Dudley, you didn't have to go that hard," Chun-Li lambasted the boxer.
"No," Ryu and Ken declared simultaneously.
The two looked at each other, Ryu beckoning Ken to continue.
"We've both fought Little Mac," Ken said, "That kid's more game than any old boxer, and Dudley has about a decade of experience on him."
"If you want to win," Ryu added as Quinn once again clawed his way back to his feet, "You will remove all of the comforts of Smash Brothers from your mind and treat this as an actual fight."
"Think of it as dance mon, where the object is not to be touched by your opponent," Dee Jay added, concern in his voice.
"The marriage of wrestling and all other fighting styles is such, at least that's what I've found." nodded T-Hawk.
"Agreed," Fei Long concluded, "Be like water, my friend."
"Like water…" a dazed Quinn repeated.
"Now," Dudley's regal voice cut through the proceedings, silencing the group. Are you ready?"
Quinn nodded.
"Rolling Thunder!" shouted Dudley
Again, Quinn dodged the flow of punches, this time jumping on the last one, bouncing off of Dudley's head, the boxer turning right into a barrage of flaming kicks, sending him to one knee.
"Ah," the Englishman smiled up at him, "Now you're understanding."
As the two went at it, Ken turned to Cammy, "Thanks for pulling him in."
Cammy shrugged, "You're the one with the infinite checkbook. That's the only language that Dudley seems to speak."
"Oh, like he would've talked to me?" laughed Ken, "I think there's still heat with how things went down in the Third Strike tournament."
"Speaking of tournaments," asked Karin, "Aren't you going to do any training?"
"Nah," Ken shrugged, "My opponent is a magical wizard, and the only people I know like that are holed up on Smashcraft R."
"Oh?" Karin's expression brightened, "Have you been there? Is it as chaotic as I've imagined?"
"It is chaotic yes," shuddered Zangief "I went up to train with comrade Haggar and Comrade Cena after our meeting the other night!?"
"Cena?" gasped R. Mika, "As in…John?"
"Yes. He is quite the warrior!" bellowed Zangief.
"I can actually vouch for that one," Ken nodded, "Got in a few rounds with him before we left Brawlhalla."
A pinging sound went off several times, Guile looked at his communicator, frowning deeper with each one.
"Julia is very instant on knowing if we're going to the basketball game tomorrow," he informed the group while looking at Ken, "You got the box reserved?"
"When have I ever let you down bro-in-law?" Ken chuckled, "Of course I got it. Everybody, SNK and Capcom people, should be getting their e-tickets tonight "
"I hope Lebron and Michael are there, they are great warriors!" nodded Ryu eagerly.
"Of course, they're gonna be there, it's an All-Star…wait, did you say, great warrior?"
"He did," Chun-Li nodded, unfastening her flask.
Chun-Li and Ken drank, much to the snickers of the other Street Fighters, while Quinn weaved around Dudley's punches.
Cloud
Smash City
Final Fantasy Section
Gold Saucer, Smash City Location
1700
The bouncy, fun music of the Gold Saucer gave way to a computer's frantic, crunchy attempt at an orchestra as the shields around Gold Saucer's Battle Square went up. Cloud gave one last glance to the stands. Normally packed with spectators, the stands contained five people, Denzel, Marline, Aerith, Zack, and Reeve, who controlled Cait Sith via a slick gaming controller. It was the jumbotron flared to life and when their enemies materialized that Cloud understood the odds. Seven Tonberries, Seven of them.
"Starting us off on this bullshit huh Dio?" Barrett roared, as he and Vincent laid into the horde with their guns.
"Maybe this is why Biggs, Wedge, and Jesse went shopping," laughed Cait Sith, "They didn't wanna see a live execution!"
"Don't blame Dio, blame me!"
With those words, Tifa charged into battle, an impossibly fast flurry of punches and kicks befalling the first two Tonberries in the zombie-like formation as she rolled backward
As Barrett provided cover fire he could only stare open-mouthed.
"The hell do you mean blame you?" he shouted finally.
Tifa shot a confident smile at the recoiling gunslingers, "I requested Dio give us enough difficulty to all of us get our reps in, he needed some guinea pigs for a new difficulty level, it all works out!"
"Yeah, for you!" Yuffie shouted, somehow threading the space between two Tonberries, hitting nothing.
"At least," Red XIII started digging his claws into a Tonberry and leaping away, "It's better than the dragon."
"Am I the only one who brought Materia to this?" chortled the cartoonish voice of Cait Sith.
Bolts of lightning clashed as each fighter took shots at the slow-moving, yet deadly monsters, and one by one, they fell.
Cait Sith chortled, "Always be prepared,"
Applause broke out from the abnormally small cheering section, Reeve standing up to bow mockingly, which the cat and the Moogle he controlled mirrored
A slot machine appeared on the jumbotron. Cloud tensed as the machine landed on a picture of materia, an electric jolt going up their arms, the once brightly shining stones now dull as dirt.
"Ya had to open your dumb cat mouth," growled Cid.
"Beginning the next round in 30 seconds," the jumbotron announced.
"I've been meaning to ask," Vincent mumbled, "How did you manage to rent out such a large training ground."
"Well," Tifa flipped her hair, "It helps when the Gold Saucer's business went up even in the Shinra-less economic downturn because everybody wants to stay in the hotel where Avalanche stayed."
At that moment, the jumbotron flared to life.
Wind Wing x1
The purple dragon appeared, and immediately Cloud walked backward to Barrett's position.
"You thinking what I'm thinking, big guy?"
"Bahamut Sin?" Barrett asked excitedly
Cloud nodded, and, before he knew it, was in the air. Meanwhile, Yuffie was running up the wall parallel to him, the ninja jumping diagonally to meet the airborne Cloud. Landing on her surprisingly muscular arm, Yuffie heaved Cloud the rest of the way, the rest of the group contending with the whirlwinds of its cast.
"YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!" shouted Yuffie as she fell back down to earth.
Triple Slash, Cross-Slash. The Wind Wing's visage became a red-wire frame skeleton, disappearing into nothing. The slot machine appeared on the Jumbo-Tron.
"Ooooh! Let me do this one!" Yuffie pleaded.
The group knew better than to fight their strong-willed partner on things like this, they allowed her to step forward. Yuffie stared at the revolving slot machines.
"No whammies…no whammies…" she whispered.
Cloud shot a look over at Tifa, who giggled.
"Yuffie hogs the TV at the suite and watches game shows," she explained, "We've had to talk Cid out of throwing her out a window a few times."
Just as Cloud began to smile, Yuffie shouted, "STOP!"
"No debuffs!" the machine declared.
"YUFFIE'S GOT THE MAGIC TOUCH BAYBEEE!" cheered the ninja, flouncing over to Vincent, who gave her the most reluctant high five Cloud had ever seen.
"Beginning the next round in 30 seconds."
"I told y'all," declared Barrett, "Spikey is the secret ingredient. How long did that take us when we were cloudless."
"About five minutes by my clock," sang Cait Sith's voice through the cat doll's speakers.
"Bout five minutes too long if you ask me," blurted Barrett.
The jumbotron flared to life again.
PROUD CLOD X 3
"WHAT?" everyone minus Cait Sith shouted.
"Yeah…" bashfully mumbled Cait Sith, "I may have sold Dio the plans to a lot of Shinra weapons. For sporting competition of course."
"Remind me to fucking kill you later, you useless suit," Cid growled.
"That is if we make it out alive," Vincent dryly huffed.
"You're one to talk Dracula!" Cid yelled, nearly spitting out his trusty cigarette in the process.
"Guys,"
Tifa's cold voice silenced the bickering, "You know what we have to do."
Seven warriors glance at each other, each nodding to the others. And so, they stood their guard. Coordinated swipes from both the robot knocked them all asunder, but the machine gun blasts were worse. Lasers from the knee erupted from the robot, but all of the heroes rose up, a rainbow aura surrounding them.
"IS EVERYBODY READY!" screamed Tifa.
"YEAH!" came the response of the others.
And so, the pounding began. Alongside Cloud's Omnislash, the armaments of Barrett, Cid's ship the Shera, and a meteor cast by Red XIII erupted into one of the robots.
Meanwhile, the other Proud Clod suffered no better a fate. Vincent transformed into a demo creature, summoning a skeleton apparition from the earth, flopping the giant robot into Tifa's waiting, single hand. She tossed it up, punching through it, as Yuffie summoned the power of a black hole. Meanwhile, Cait Sith summoned Knights of the Round. A few minutes later, as all twelve mystical knights took their shot, the robot joined its brethren at the top of a garbage heat.
"End simulation," Tifa commanded, the shield powering down.
"Huh?" heckled Aerith from the stands, "Quitting already?"
"Yeah, Cid's getting a little snippy," Tifa joked.
"Damn right I am," Cid loudly admitted.
"Time to get grandad his glass of milk and put some Columbo on the TV." shot Yuffie.
"Hey, it's better than the game shows you watch," Cid shot back.
"Yeah," Cloud interrupted them all, "I'm gonna go back to the mansion, take the rest of the day easy."
"See ya Cloud," came several voices.
Just as Cloud stepped through a portal and out of earshot, he heard Aerith talking to Tifa.
"You did great out there," said the healer, "You calmed everybody down when they got snippy and called for a break at the right time."
"That means….I can't even put into words what that means coming from you, considering all the times you did that for us."
"My only regret is that you couldn't hear me cheering from the Promised Land," Aerith said with her usual soft grin.
Cloud couldn't help but grin as his friends did, stepping through the portal.
Ritcher
Link's Crossbow Training Park
Smash City
Hyrule Section
1500
The afternoon sun hung low as Ritcher observed the wooden targets before him. Beside him stood the goddess Palutena.
"So, this is Simon's favor eh?" Ritcher asked.
"Mm-hm," Palutena confirmed.
A pang of fear burst through Ritcher's spine. He did not like the mischievous tone she took.
"You know," Ritcher remarked. It's odd not to see you attached to Pit at the hip."
Palutena shrugged, "He was the one who suggested I take the afternoon to train you. I wouldn't worry about my captain, Captain Falcon will keep him busy, I assure you."
"Yeah, it seems like it,"
The vampire hunter and the goddess sat in silence for a second as Ritcher worked up the courage to ask his next question.
"So, what is this training? Mere target practice? No offense Your Holiness, but I'm more than capable of attending target practice on my own."
Palutena snapped her fingers, and all of the available targets snapped to attention.
"Simon had something different in mind," Palutena explained with an eager smile.
The fear in Ritcher's heart was not just a pang anymore, it was an overcast of dread.
"What are you…"
Palutena snapped her fingers again. Blue, transparent angel wings arched out of his back.
Ritcher was launched into the air, zooming far into the distance, past a manmade desert course, a forest, and a flock of chickens carrying targets.
"OUR FATHER, HALLOW BE THY NAME!" the vampire hunter panicked
Ritcher squinted to see an army of skeletons marching towards an 'x' painted on the ground. Just as he processed all of this, he was sucked backward, reversing through the course before he found himself gently on the ground, at Palutena's feet again.
"Aw," mockingly pouted the goddess, "Out of all the hundreds of potential targets to hit, you hit none. Simon was right, your form does need work."
"Part of training requires explaining the parameters therein," Ritcher huffed.
Palutena recoiled in shock, "That was much nicer a response than I was anticipating."
Ritcher smirked at her, arms crossed.
"Because, unlike the old man, I appreciate a practical joke from time to time. Now that you've had your fun, what is your intention here?"
"If you must know," Palutena began, mirroring his posture, "Simon was lamenting the other night of how standard your form is."
Ritcher laughed, "Isn't he the one prattling on and on about how tradition must be upheld?"
"Well, yes," Palutena admitted, "But I think even he would admit that the form must become more adaptable if you hope to best a foe like Cloud. Thus, I've given you my Power of Flight in order to test your reflexes. Hit as many obstacles as you can, accounting for how fast the power of flight will carry you off course.
"Aye," Ritcher nodded, "I think I've got this."
Once again, Palutena snapped her fingers, spawning the blue wings.
"I like that enthusiasm, have fun."
And, like the wind, Ritcher was off again.
Joker
Smash Library
Computer Lab
1100
"Listen, you mooks, all you's," King Dice's recorded voice boomed over Futaba's laptop speakers, "Tomorrow's the big day, an all-hands meeting if ya catch my drift. We're gonna get Luigi acclimated into the family, kapeesh?"
"If it's all hands, then why isn't Sephiroth here?" hissed Akechi.
"ARE-A YOU-A GONNA TELL HIM SHRIMP-A?" demanded Wario.
"Because I don't see a problem with his performances," King Dice hissed, "You on the other hand pretty boy…"
"What about me?" Akechi asked threateningly.
" You poor bastard, you've got him in the next round. If I was a betting man, I wouldn't bet for you. At least Sephiroth isn't fraternizing with them, Phantom Thief idiots."
"I don't know how the law works where you're from Dice," Akechi growled, "But where I come from, you need evidence before accusing someone of something."
King Dice slammed the point of his cane onto the floor, "So sue me, I can only guess that you're hanging out with that stupid tomboy gal you like so much,"
"Makoto…" breathed Akechi.
"Listen," King Dice victoriously purred, "I'm a big believer in put up or shut up. So, if you've got a problem with the way he conducts himself, take him out. Fail, and I might stop giving Wario the benefit of the doubt whenever he defends your disloyalty to the family."
Akechi made no sound, but whatever expression he made King Dice laugh.
"Ey Luigi," he asked, "How do you think I run things? Am I fair boss?"
"I mean, you set fair and reasonable expectations," Luigi's voice was faint, obviously far in the back of the room.
"Ha!" King Dice declared, "Even the newbie can see I ain't some mook. Anyway, this little sitdown has concluded, you're free to do whatever you like. But remember, you mooks are mine."
Akechi audibly stood, stepping away from the noise, and turning off the recording.
After considerable silence, Yusuke was the first of the Phantom Thieves to speak.
"Hm," concluded the artist, "It would appear King Dice's suspicion of Akechi grows."
"Indeed," nodded Haru, "And this was from last night after we left. I can't imagine how turbulent the situation is now.".
"Man," Ryuji whined, "I wonder if we're right to wait."
"We have to believe in Akechi's ability to maintain cover, that's all we can do," Makoto commanded.
"You're not worried?" asked Ann, "Knowing that King Dice sees you as a vulnerability and whatnot?"
"No, I can take care of myself, and the fact that Akechi kept it so cool when Dice brought it up is an indication of the same."
Ren and Ann cast knowing, worried eyes at each other before a new trio of voices interrupted.
"Ah ha!" Vector boomed,
Team Chaotix stepped into the computer room, Vector stepping to the front of the pack, a determined glint in his eyes.
"I knew them Phantom Thieves were acting suspicious, and even my hunch was correct. They're trying to hack the computer room!"
"Jesus Christ," Futaba moaned, head in her hands.
"What?" balked the crocodile, "Am I not wrong?"
"No," Haru explained, "We're trying to help a friend."
"It's as I suspected," Espio announced, "They're trying to assist Akechi in breaking his contract with Wario."
"Dang, I was kinda on board with Vector's hunches," Charmy exclaimed.
"Regardless," Vector declared, his voice suddenly deadly serious, "You won't get any help from us. We're not messing with any crew that has Sephiroth in it,"
"What, still bitter about the loss?" Ryuji teased.
"Well, it's partially that…" Vector began.
"It's exclusively that with me, just so everybody knows," interrupted Charmy.
"...and that we don't want to piss him off," Espio finished
"Fair enough," Ren nodded, "But we won't be requiring it."
"Good on you kids," Vector cast a thumbs up, "Best of luck,"
The trio from Mobius about-faced, walking out of the room.
"Are you sure they'll be alright?"
"Damn sure Charmy. Those kids are good," Vector praised.
More silence ensued before Futaba spoke up, "Normally I'd be happy about being praised by a Sonic character, but the Team Chaotix bar is deep in hell."
"I see," Makoto sighed, "I just hope Akechi can maintain cover for one more day."
"He can," Ren nodded, "Even if they weren't busy with Luigi, I'd still have no doubt."
Makoto nodded, "You're right. So, what about you Ren? Planning to do any training?"
"Whatever hells exist in King Dice's Casino, that'll be training enough,"
Banjo-Kazooie
Smash Mansion
Residence Hall
Banjo-Kazooie/ Duck Hunt Duo's Room
1200
Kazooie giggled, "I like it when the blond one says 'for real.' Such a dumb catchphrase"
That brought Banjo out of one of his many naps of the day. Kazooie's eyes were glued to her new gaming laptop (she'd bought one with the prize money right away) watching the Phantom Thieves on screen.
"Don'tcha already own that game Kazooie, both digitally and physically?" mumbled Banjo tiredly, "Why would ya watch someone else play it?"
"To get the drop on our opponent," Kazooie cackled, "I will say, I'm glad we ended up with the ones with decent ships."
Banjo yawned, stretching, "Ships?"
"That's what they call two or more video game characters in love with each other. There are so many weird ships out there." Kazooie explained.
"Not to mention some problematic ones too," Banjo added.
Kazooie blew a raspberry, "Problematic ships are for the weak!"
"Okay so, what do you consider a good ship?" challenged Banjo
Kazooie thought about it for a moment, stroking her beak, "I mean, Ann's confidant is a little weak, but it fits that the dashing debonair is arm and arm with the supermodel, you know what I mean?"
"I suppose so…"
"Whereas Makoto and Akechi at least have some intriguing tension to it, but if it were Ren and Makoto together…yuck."
"Yuck? Why yuck?" asked Banjo
"Because it'd be like dating a female version of him. And let's not get started on Futaba. It'd be like me dating Tootie. Nothing technically illegal about it, but we have the same guardian."
Banjo nodded, "Yeah, yeah I get that."
"I mean, Haru's a fine lass too. Rich, plus she's inclined to keep something similar to Le Blanc going on. I dig the single-aunt energy this one has going on though. I like Yusuke and Futaba together. Hope Ryuji finds somebody, poor bastard."
"What does this have to do with our match?" Banjo finally asked
"Kazooie shrugged, "Dunno. All I know is that I'm extra motivated to beat him, so I can become a Phantom Thief and piss off Akechi at the same time."
"If you're motivated I am too. I was thinkin' we could invite a couple of people out to train tomorrow."
Kazooie's eyes went wide, "Oh? And who do you have in mind?"
"Captain Falcon to train against Joker's speed, Olimar to train against his poison, and Fox to train against his jumping moves and kick specifically."
"Jeez, what's got into you? Usually, you're against doing anything other than sleeping."
"Well…I just uh….I know this'll make you real happy if we win."
Kazooie smiled, "That's real sweet Banjo. I love you."
"I love you too Kazooie,"
The two curled up on the bed, falling asleep in each other's arms.
Dante, Travis Touchdown
Stage Floor
Thunder Ryu's Gym Stage
1600
In the den of noise that was the stage floor, a question for the ages was posed.
"So, we've been here a bit," Dante began, "Who has the best pizza?"
Travis pondered as the two walked deeper into the long hallway.
"I mean, the only thing that comes close to beating the stuff from your hometown is the Mario Bros' hometown joint," Travis concluded
"I tried some Gold Saucer pizza the other night. Figured it had to be decent considering the name of the place. I've had better pizza at one of those children's arcades."
"The hell are you doing hanging out in children's arcades?" asked Travis worriedly.
"Gotta widen the video game horizons occasionally, even if it means screwing some eight-year-olds out of some tickets," Dante smirked.
"And what did you get with all those tickets? A ball of putty?" teased the assassin.
"Got a small TV for gaming, we can free up the big one for karaoke?"
"The girls karaoke a lot?" Travis asked.
"It's one of the few group activities the entire office can agree on."
Travis shrugged as they reached their destination. In the second it took him to open the door, Dante already slipped inside, pressing the commands. The sterile room became a musty gym. Immediately, Travis took in the smell of rubber and dumbbells.
Home sweet home, was Travis' only thought as he sighed.
"You wanna get in the ring, or do you not smell what the Dante is cookin'"
Travis tutted snootily at his devil hunter friend.
"If you're gonna use a wrestling reference," Travis whined, stepping into the ring, "You can do better than that pussy Hollywood Dwayne. Watch some Japanese stuff if you want to see the real stuff,"
\ Dante rolled his eyes, "Sometimes I think we've reached the upper limit of your otaku shit, and then there's a whole 'nother underground bunker."
The silver-haired man struck his fighting stance.
"I know you can talk as good as you can fight," Dante said, completely devoid of any humor, "But even that might be enough.
Beam katana and devil's sword clashed at the speed of light six times, Travis stepping out of the way of the seventh swing. The world seemed to slow down, as Travis hacked away at the defenseless man garbed in red. As Travis' trusty slot machine landed on a mismatched series of symbols, Dante flipped away, firing his pistol in a flashy, erratic way. Travis brought his Beam Katana up to block, its energy immediately sapped from the bullets. The hot laser disappeared, leaving Travis open to be wrapped around his feet, picking his ankle and sending him crashing down. Travis looked up only to see Devil Sword Dante pointed down at him by the man himself.
"Fuck dude, what don't you have in your arsenal?" Travis grunted.
"That's not relevant bud," Dante shook his head, "The relevant question is, what're you gonna do when that fancy toy sword runs out of batteries?"
That brought a frighteningly determined smile to Travis' face, so much so that even Dante couldn't help but reflexively reel back.
"THIS!" roared Travis.
Hooking his arms around Dante's waist in the same motion in which he got to his feet, Dante was hoisted behind Travis as the otaku assassin bridged, completing the German Suplex. The slot machine landed on Throw Crazy Mode. Even the flow of six uninterrupted German Suplexes didn't stop Dante, who kipped to his feet. Once again, the sword of the devil and the sword of the otaku locked, both fighters charging right, their swords unflinchingly interlocked. Unfortunately, in their bravado, the swordsmen neglected the ropes of the ring. Both fighters spilled out, swords still interlocked.
"You alright?" asked Dante
"Not the first time I've taken a bump out of the ring, not the last," Travis nodded.
Dante untangled his sword, "Good job kiddo. You're more resourceful than I thought, You're gonna give Chief and me a run for our money for sure."
Travis scoffed as the two stood, "Shows how much attention you've been paying."
"I know what my brother can do, but I've still gotta test him occasionally," Dante shrugged.
"If you say so," Travis shrugged back, "We on for anime and pizza tonight?"
"Of course," Dante nodded, "Whether or not we use Sans' room depends on if he ever gets back to me.
"What is ole lazy bones up to anyway?" Travis wondered.
Smash Mansion
Admin Room
1605
Sans teleported into the room, facing the wall of screens directly.
"You got me just as I came in for a nap, what's up?" tiredly stretched the skeleton.
"Need an extra hand to watch cameras," Mario ordered, "ROB is showing Cortana the intricacies of SmashNet,"
Sans sighed, thumbing through the cameras of each of the activated communicator watches. Almost everyone was engaged in some sort of training exercise.
"Huh," Sans said absentmindedly, "The zoo crew is taking training more seriously than I'd have thought."
"Well, we do have the looming threat of a war to think about," scoffed Marth.
Sans thumbed through more camera feeds, "Speaking of, you heard from that scientist, Rick Gomez or whatever his name is?"
"Rick Sanchez," corrected Marth, "And no. All the research that's going on on Smashcraft R indicates that whatever reality-warping technology is being used isn't the Smashcore, it's whatever gave birth to the Multiversus organization."
"Oh shit," Sans brightened, "One of those platform fighters that's getting an exhibition match on the night of the finals?"
"Yes," Marth confirmed.
"Eh," Sans shrugged, "Out of my league."
"Speaking of you," Marth's eyes narrowed, "What are you looking for?"
"If ROB is nerding out with Cortana, where does that leave Chief?" Sans asked the room.
Finally, he found Chief, located in Smash Park. He was seated on a picnic blanket, a pink hat placed on his helmet.
"What the hell?" asked Otis, as he and Mikey crowded the monitor.
"Zoom it out!" Mikey demanded with a quack.
And so, Sans did, Elizabeth sat on the picnic blanket, miming pouring tea from a tea cup, while Subject Zero watched some distance away. Sprawled directly adjacent to the picnic blanket was Cuphead, the adventurer having donned sunglasses and lazily sipping out of a glass of lemonade.
"Would you like some tea, Mister John?" chirped the excitable girl.
Master Chief sighed, "Yes please, Elizabeth."
"Oh my God," Sans said through snickers, "This is the best thing I've ever seen."
The Duck Hunt Duo laughed uproariously while Mario watched over Mikey's wing, a bemused smile on his face.
"I knew Cortana left, demanding that Master Chief go have fun while she was away," Mario explained, "I guess-a Subject Zero and Elizabeth were the first people who asked.
Mister Game and Watch sauntered into the frame, holding out a teacup, "I would like some tea young lady!"
As Elizabeth once again mimed pouring tea out of a teapot, Sans blinked, "Is he…?"
"Yes," Mario nodded, "Maybe Falco was right. Maybe the air does do something."
"Beg your pardon Master Mario?" inquisitively asked Marth.
"Peach was talking with Falco earlier. The bird thinks all the love in the air has to do with this place."
Sans materialized an eyebrow to raise it, "You spy on your girlfriend's conversations?"
"If Toriel got captured by a megalomaniacal king as often as my girl did, you'd have surveillance as well-a."
The rest of the present admins were glaring at Sans, Mario seemed not to notice.
"So, speaking of fucked up sex shit…" Sans began.
Shulk, who had been working diligently, slapped his forehead.
"Oh Toby, sorry," Sans shook his head.
"It's fine Sans," Mario clasped a reassuring hand on Sans' shoulder, "I'm used to it. What were you-a saying though?"
"Are we gonna keep a camera on your brother's shenanigans with the Wa-ffice tonight?"
Mario's brow furrowed as everything in the admin room seemed to stop.
"If it makes you feel better, I'll keep an eye on it," Sans offered, "I usually don't go to bed until late anyway."
"Could you?" Mario asked, his normally authoritative voice concerned, almost pleading.
"It isn't gonna matter though boss," Shulk announced, "Remember, The Phantom Thieves investigation has proven what you suspected. That means they'll have an eye on your brother and will act when the time comes."
"Right," Mario nodded, "Sans, you're on night duty tonight."
"Great," Sans sighed.
I hope I get something wholesome to watch, that Wario stuff will be rough,
Lucas, Snake
Trophy Hotel
Flint and Hinawa's hotel suite
1700
"BREAKFAST FOR DINNER," cheered Claus.
He and Lucas charged towards the counter nearest to the oven, where Hinawa carefully turned off the oven as the servings of tonight's dinner, omelets, were waiting. And Snake could only watch.
"I can…I can help Hinawa," Snake offered for the umpteenth time, rising from his seat.
"Nonsense, you're a guest, Mister Snake,' Hinawa deterred his unease with the same sly smile as his other attempts, gesturing to the boys, "Plus, the twins are more than eager to help out."
"Honestly, I'd think the boys'd find joy in bein' waiters at a restaurant," dryly chuckled Flint.
"That'd be fun," admitted Claus, balancing his plate in his hand, "You'd get to make people happy by giving them food! What's better than that?"
Lucas frowned, psychically holding three plates aloft, one for himself, one for Flint, and one for Snake.
"Yeah," mumbled the other twin quietly, "But then you'd have to put up with customer service. I've seen enough of that in the big city to last me a lifetime."
"Geez boy, you sound like me," remarked Flint.
"Both of you have been through enough," Hinawa said, "In your cases, I'd say cynicism is completely warranted."
"Yeah!" Claus sharply agreed.
Lucas raised an eyebrow as he served the adults, finally taking his seat, "Do you even know what that word means?"
"Yeah!" protested Claus.
Lucas' stare remained unbroken.
"No…" his twin brother sunk in defeat.
"See what happens when you don't keep your words soft and sweet…" Flint began to scold.
"You'll have to eat 'em," Claus finished, "My version of you said all the same things."
"Speaking of eating your words," Hinawa asked as the group began to eat, "That wrestling cat was very confident Isabelle would win on commentary. Is Isabelle okay? Is the cat okay?"
Snake chuckled, "I don't think Incineroar would admit emotion he couldn't suplex his way out of, even under threat of torture. As far as Isabelle, she's fine. She just got a little obsessed and snapped out of it."
"Well that's a relief," Hinawa sighed.
"Speakin' of," Flint asked, "When're you going to apologize to that nice young man from the past Lucas?"
"And when can we meet him?" Claus prodded.
"Oh, Ness?" Lucas stiffened, "Yeah, we haven't talked. With Red and Green not talking, our usual group hasn't hung out. I sense that coming to a head soon. Everybody involved is about to yield. And I made sure it will. I told Peach."
"The blond in the pink?" Hinawa asked, "Yes, she has an authoritative air about her, I like her a lot."
"Yeah, she's President Mario's girlfriend. If anyone will solve it, she will."
The group chittered amongst each other for the rest of the meal, mostly detailing Lucas' family's experience in the big city. Claus had marveled at the zoo, while the adults talked about the new clothes they'd gotten. The process seemed gratifying, yet overwhelming for them. Snake grinned through the entire tale.
Eventually, Lucas and Snake did the dishes. Outside of the requests for assistance, they'd kept things quiet.
Then it was time for Snake and Lucas to head back to the Mansion. Just as they were about to step into the portal, Lucas cheerily said, "Thanks for coming Snake!"
Snake, in turn, waved at the civilians, "Thank you for having me. Genuinely."
Flint silently tipped his hat, Hinawa speaking for the family, "It's no trouble. Just make sure to bring Ness next time won't you Lucas?"
Lucas nodded as they stepped into the portal, going their separate ways through the mansion, each nose-deep in texting friends they'd unintentionally been ignoring.
Edelgard
Smash City
King of Fighters Section
Duck King Good Milkshakes
.1800
Dorothea Arnault had tried everything. Batting the eyelashes, slowly and deliberately caressing the straw with her tongue, meeting her date's eyes.
But nothing penetrated Edelgard, her usual rigid posture replaced by slouching in the chair, looking almost fearful.
Dorothea had been at it for ten minutes, emptying her arsenal of flirting techniques, and only now did she begin to worry. Was it the venue? No, Edelgard had picked the venue. Was it the music? This hard, thumping beat made with technology beyond her understanding, made for only the most intense of dances, was turned down. No, Edelgard wouldn't be disturbed by such a thing as music, she'd heard her sing often.
Just as a smile began to form on her lips from the self-deprecating thought, Edelgard spoke.
"Do you think less of me as a warrior? Because I lost?" she asked every word seemingly a trial of labor.
"No! You lost on a technicality. Plus, I could never think less of my queen."
Edelgard leaned forward.
"Flattery will get you nowhere," she warned.
Dorothea blinked. Was that sarcasm she detected?
"What about the others?" Edelgard's worried voice echoed around the empty restaurant, "Is their descent among the Black Eagles?"
"Descent among the…no?" answered a dumbstruck Dorothea, "Although, Ferdie is over the moon, having placed a bet for Terry."
Edelgard grinned, finally placing her lips upon the other straw in the milkshake they were meant to share.
"We've got another engagement after the next round of the tournament, to cement our new relationship with Daisy's kingdom, Sarasaland, after Round 3, or so Daisy says, once Hubert takes care of some business for her."
"Ah!" Dorothea smiled back, "So that's where Hubbie's been."
Sucking down some milkshake to prevent a truly ghoulish laugh worked.
"Yes," she pulled her lips, away from the drink, "And you'll be my date."
The songstress choked mid-drink, blushing as she finally forced down the thick milk product.
"I say this to warn you," Edelgard continued, "That you should wear something a little less…revealing."
Edelgard was ogling her and blushing, and Dorothea could only smile triumphantly. The cleavage-centric, flowing red dress Manuela had helped her pick out for the occasion in the Wall Market area of the city had done its trick.
"But for this occasion," stammered the normally well-spoken princess, "You will be rewarded for your choice."
"Good," purred Dorothea, "For now though, all I wanna do is drink this thing and get lost in your eyes.
And so, they did.
Smash Mansion
Residency Hall
Luigi and Daisy's room
2300
After a long day of training with King Dice's many ghouls, all he wanted was to unlatch the key to his room and go to bed, preferably in the role of Daisy's little spoon. But he couldn't. He had one more thing to do.
He unlocked the door with his communicator, the lights were already on, and Daisy was lying seductively on her side, dressed in an orange corset and a black metallic mini-skirt. Luigi toed the line between smiling and frowning, she did the same. This revealed the truth to the man in green, that Wario and Mona were already in the closet, ready to watch.
As it usually did when it came to nights of intimacy with Daisy, the deed came naturally, its movements reaching mass intensity immediately, even as they stripped one another. The world was easily ignored, all the troubles surrounding them melting away as they became one. Even Mona's instructions, delivered as politely as one could deliver a sex show overlayed with the theatrics of Wario's labored lungs attempting to suck in air, didn't do much to interrupt the proceedings.
The minutes ticked by. Judging by the sounds of Wario and Mona getting it on in their closet, their feelings were provocative to their audience. Then, all at once, Wario finished, which caused Daisy to do so as well. Had having pornography on in the background been a trick they'd never tried? Luigi made mental note of this as the other couple in the room giggled amongst each other, the sound of once-strewn clothes being reapplied permeating the deadly still air. Wario sauntered out of the closet, lurching forward as Mona playfully slapped his monolithic ass. Wario smiled at the couple laid out on the bed, who looked at him with stone-serious expressions.
"Well, I'll-a be shrimp. You're better at-a dis than I thought," nodded Wario.
"Thanks, I guess," Luigi spoke as flatly as possible.
"Listen, I wanted to tell you…"
Wario's smile faltered as he looked uncharacteristically worriedly at Mona, the impish girl wrapping herself around his arm on instinct.
"Whatever you do…"
Wario sighed.
"Don't come to Dice's casino tomorrow. I can-a make an excuse-a."
"What brings this on?" Daisy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Gettin' a-cursed wasn't part of this. I thought-a I could-a play both sides of the war. Dice wanted you for the team as insurance against your bro, thought I could increase my standing with Conker if I did-a."
"You expect me to believe that you wouldn't have cashed in that favor if it weren't for King Dice."
"You-a think I want to spend any time with you or your bro without money involved?"
"Plus, no offense guys," Mona added, "But I've always wanted to try the whole Peeping Tom thing, not with you guys specifically."
"Thanks…I guess?" Daisy faltered,
"Yeah, some compliment," agreed Luigi
Daisy smiled as Mona's expression faltered.
"This lingerie is cute as hell though," reassured the princess of Sarasaland, " You at least have good taste in that."
"I do co-own a dress shop after all," gloated Mona.
"But back to more important matters-a," snapped Luigi, "You know my bro's-a pissed, and if it weren't for The Phantom Thieves corroborating that you'd been cursed, which explains you, Porky, and Ganondorf acting like assholes all tournament, you'd be just as iced as King Dice is gonna be tomorrow."
"When ain't your bro pissed at me?" Wario shrugged, completely devoid of an accent, "And it ain't like I'm not aware that this is gonna get me cooked for good some time, just gotta make the money while you can, ya know?"
"Or, here's a thought," growled Daisy, "You could just not be an idiot and make money the honest way."
"That's hilarious coming from a monarch," snapped Wario, "Anyway, let's-a go Mona."
"You got it Daddy!" she chirped, the two walking out of the room, closing the door behind them.
A moment of silence passed, and the two collapsed back into bed, Luigi on top of Daisy.
"There is no greater mood killer," Luigi paused, "When she calls him that?"
"You think you had it bad?" teased Daisy, "I had to go shopping with her while you were out training with that cigar-chomping idiot."
"I've always wondered if she could possibly be that annoying without him around."
"She's actually a sweet girl," Daisy began, "Really passionate about animals, sports, and fashion. We actually had a lot to talk about!"
"But…" Luigi prompted, sensing there was more.
"But it was Daddy this and Daddy that."
Luigi shuddered, "Thank God it's over."
"Yes oh my gawwwwd," Daisy weakly cheered, pumping her fists into the air.
The two cradled each other, enjoying the silence.
"Can't wait to see the professor and Pup tomorrow," Daisy whispered.
"Me neither. Can't wait to hang out with you," Luigi whispered back.
"Me neither. I love you."
"Me-"
Luigi paused mid-faux pas, the couple sharing a quiet laugh.
"I love you," was Luigi's soothing decree.
"I love you too baby,"
The tired first couple of Sarsaland were in a peaceful slumber seconds after.