Round 3

Goro Akechi vs. Sephiroth

On either side of the match graphic, Akechi and Sephiroth struck almost identical poses. Turning their backs to the camera and glancing disinterestedly backward. Sephiroth's interview was short but sweet.

"That sword will do you no good."

If Sephiroth's biting warning affected Akechi, he didn't show it. Instead, the tenuous Phantom Thief smiled coyly.

"I'm afraid your arrogance will only take you down one road, kneeling at my sword."

"Blah," Cranky spat once the commentators were on air, "Edgy anime boy shit."

"For once, I agree. Futaba, do we even have to ask?"

"Logic would dictate Sephiroth," Futaba mumbled, not looking up from the text conversation on her communicator, "But I'm legally obligated to say it's anyone's fight, especially when Akechi's involved."

"Who're you texting?" demanded 9-Volt, "We're on the air!"

"My new friend Penny!" Futaba said, suddenly cheery, "We met on the same forum, and we're gonna meet up after the round and do some gaming, and you should come."

"Yeah kid, distract yourself from whatever's going on between you and the Thieves," Cranky agreed, "Legalese is a pain in the ass. Made for a bad 2001 around the Archipelago, believe you me."

"Seven Stars, yeah I can imagine. But yeah Futaba, I can totally hit you guys up after this. For now, though, we've gotta throw to entrances.

Akechi was out first, ignoring the girlish screams of his fans as Will Power growled over the speakers. As soon as Akechi made it to the center of the arena, the bells tolled. While his past opponents had watched Sephiroth descend from the sky to Those Chosen by the Planet- Destiny Comes with reverence, even fear, Akechi rolled his eyes, interlocking his fingers behind his head, and reclining his neck leisurely. Upon landing, Sephiroth smiled down at him, but his eyes betrayed furious anger.

The pair stood unmoving through the introductions. The announcement of Onett on the stage caused cursory glances up at the video board, only for the staredown to resume seconds later. Mills Frames received the curtest of nods from both Smashers when they were given the ready cue. They then disappeared to the field of battle.

Stage: Onett

Rules: 3-stock, items medium

Music: Bein' Friends

3

Akechi erupted from a burst of blue flame.

2

Sephiroth emerged from a portal of darkness

1

Both fighters took up their swords, assuming combat stances.

GO!
 Immediately, Akechi's grappling hook had been withdrawn and fired, wrapping around the length of the Masamune.

"What?" Cranky demanded, "Does he want to get his ass whooped?"

Akechi cavalierly allowed himself the travel the length of his grappling hook, flying right into a massive swing of his opponent's iconic katana. Immediately, the Persona known as Robin Hook was replaced by the one known as Loki.

"Just as I expected," hissed Akechi, "You've maximized my spirit of Rebellion with so little effort."

"So I have," Sephiroth announced completely dryly, "Enough blither then young man. Show me what you have."

"I'd be glad to," Akechi snarled, "BRAVE BLADE!"

A pillar of light swung down at Sephiroth.

"Scintilla," Sephiroth announced.

A hexagonal shield appeared, only for Akechi's Brave Blade attack to shatter it.

As the Smashers' Box clamored in excitement, Sephiroth was forced to take up his Smash Shield, darting backward as Akechi bandied his sword about with reckless abandon.

"What's the matter angel?" mocked Akechi, "Finally exhibiting common sense, are we?"

A car horn beeped behind them. A van zoomed down the road so fast that stray flakes of asphalt began to bounce up and down at the sheer force. In response to the two tons of metal barreling at his back, Sephiroth simply whipped around, grabbing the van by the grill and tossing it at Akechi. The sheer force of the maneuver sent Akechi and the van spiraling into the air. Sephiroth followed behind, cutting the van in half with the first slice of Octoslash, the remaining seven skewers slicing into Akechi, sending him to the Blast Zone.

Goro Akechi: 2

Sephiroth: 3

"I…he…what?" 9-Volt blubbered.

"He threw one of the blasted stage hazards. Like a baseball in a carnival game." Cranky bemoaned.

"You…Akechi bellowed from the Revival Platform, "HOW DARE YOU!"

By the time Akechi had left the Revival Platform at the center of Onett, Sephiroth had already charged Gigaflare. So blind was the disgraced detective with rage that he charged right into it. That in combination with Octoslash was enough to send Akechi to the Blast Zone for the second time.

Goro Akechi: 1

Sephiroth: 3

Once again, Sephiroth charged Gigaflare, unleashing it just as Akechi jumped from the Revival Platform to the road. Fortunately, Akechi was savvy enough to slide underneath it, Unfortunately, another van zoomed into them, running over Akechi. Sephiroth grabbed the van by the grill again, this time raising it above his head with one hand and slamming it repeatedly into the prone body of Goro Akechi.

As the Smashers' Box collectively gritted their teeth with each slam of the van onto Akechi, Sans' eyes darted between Travis and Dante who were both reclined leisurely, their feet resting on unoccupied seats below them.

"Are, uh, are either of you nervous about this?"

"Nope," Dante shrugged.

"Me neither," agreed Travis, "A van is on the lower end of shit I've had used as a weapon against me."

Dante laughed, "Same."

"Hah, cool," Sans laughed back.

Meanwhile, on Onett, Sephiroth had waylaid Akechi with the van so often with so much force that the van fell apart on its own. Now, the fun was over. Sephiroth picked up the body of the limp Akechi, heaving him with no effort into the Blast Zone.

GAME!

Amidst yet another forest fire, Sephiroth mumbled, "Huh, I almost enjoyed myself," walking into the fire, while Akechi stood in the loser's quadrant, looking down at the floor.

"God damn it," Mario stomped his foot, "Again? We just reforested that!"

Meanwhile, in Tunnel A. Akechi made his way to Rita, flopping into a sitting position.

"You had your little moment Joker," he wheezed through steadily forming tears, "None of this crap matters. This glitz, this glamor. None of it matters except when I get my hands on you in the training room. And Sephiroth, you got lucky, you miserable prick."

With a haunting, evil laugh, Akechi hopped onto his feet, sulking up the tunnel. Immediately, Joker through an arm around him, leading him to the rest of the Phantom Thieves "We'll train as much as you want big guy, and one of these guys will take care of him."

"I sure hope so," grumbled Mario, "We have to reforest that place every time Sephiroth decides to have a victory party."

"On to more important matters," Marth announced, "Travis and Dante, you will each go down Tunnel A."

"Um, hey I have a question," Cortana appeared from Chief's helmet, "Doesn't that give them extra time to collude?"

"Doesn't matter," huffed Chief, "Let's go."

As Master Chief and Cortana began their journey down Tunnel B, Dante mocked, "Doesn't matter, let's go," in an overly whiney voice.

Sans began to snicker from his seat, and as a result the two other friends, the ones going down to the most important fight of their lives, snickered all the way.