Bash at Big Battlefield: Prelude

Smash Mansion

600

Quinn

Brush your teeth…

Nah, fuck that, Quinn thought.

Change into your gi…

Already done, slept in it, Quinn bemoaned.

Grabbing his glasses off of the counter, he put them on, checking his communicator. An all-hands email, from ROB, read:

The 'Bash at Big Battlefield' begins at 800. The event is non-mandatory to attend unless you are booked on the card. Breakfast will be served to all performing Smashers. After this, performing Smashers are to report to the Big Battlefield Training Room.

Quinn sighed, heading out the door. The Mansion, usually a den of noise on fight day, was near silent, aside from a few stragglers. Torri, The Ice Climbers, and Lucario and Olimar were all too preoccupied with their own thoughts to acknowledge him.

"HEY!" barked a familiar voice.

"Terry? Figured you'd be the last guy to get up early."

"It's worth it to see Jin's old man fight in the main event no less," Terry said, his voice cracking with excitement

"You know him?"

"Oh yeah, when extra-dimensional computer hackers took over my universe, he showed up along with Ryu and the gang."

Quinn nodded, glad his sunglasses hid his uncertainty, "So, you've got any advice for me?"

Terry's perpetual smile disappeared,

"Make your peace with God," Terry warned, completely serious.

Quinn's heart jackrabbited. He gulped, "That's not reassuring at all,"

Terry nodded, his expression still somber, "Wasn't meant to be. Imagine Jin's speed and power but with no remorse. That's his pops."

Quinn nodded even more meekly. He thought he heard Terry yelp some half-assed reassurance, but he wasn't going to stick around while The Hungry Wolf dug himself a deeper hole. Trotting quickly down the stairs, Ken and Falco were in an animated conversation.

"So, we're on our way to the North Pole, and him and this weird assassin chick challenge us to a warm-up before they steal Pandora," Ken shouted.

"Sounds like a prick if you ask me," Falco shrugged.

"Man can back it up honestly. It's as hard and as fast as I've ever been hit in my life. Plus, if he'd stopped us on the way to Pandora, Ryu wouldn't have gone on that little trip across the dimensions."

"Ain't he doin' that all the time though padnah?" Falco asked.

"Yeah," Ken's voice lilted as if he was choking back tears, "But he did most of 'em without me, especially then.."

"You guys talking about Kazuya?" Quinn called as he stepped down the last step.

Ken's melancholy was instantly gone, he turned to him with a signature smile beaming bright.

"Yeah kid, you'll do great! Just remember to parry. Moment 37 that fool!"

Quinn smiled back, "That big parry barrage against Chun-Li from the Gill-sponsored tourney right? Why's it called 37?"

Ken shrugged, "I wanted to make people think I had a bigger sizzle reel!"

Falco shook his head, walking away as Ken began to laugh uproariously. Star Fox's ace pilot and the Mii Fighter walked into the kitchen. Despite Mario, Luigi, Dante, Travis, Red, Incineroar, Cloud, and Robin eating quietly on one side of the massive dining room table, and Sans' band on the other side, Daisy and Rosalina were at the opposite end, Daisy's gossip echoing around the nearly silent room.

"So none of us can find Waluigi on the Horror Land board right?"

"I shudder to think where you found him," Rosalina muttered.

"Shitting on a grave,"

"If all the stars in the known universe went supernova at that exact moment, it wouldn't be a proper visualization of my disgust, or my relief that I wasn't at that particular party."

"I know right? Say what you will about Wario, but at least he-"

"You do not have to give any credit to Wario, Your Highness," Quinn interrupted.

"Quinn!" shouted Rosalina.

Before Quinn could even think, she had wrapped him in an extremely warm hug.

"I missed you so," she whispered.

"Same goes for me,' Quinn whispered back, "Ready for today Rosa?"

Rosalina giggled, "What's Incineroar's newest phrase at the moment? Woo woo woo, you know it!"

"WOO WOO WOO!" Incineroar pumped his fist, not looking up from his food.

"I'm glad you're motivated because we've got…"

Quinn glanced around the room. No Kazuya Mishima in sight.

"So where's the guest of honor?" he asked.

Daisy laughed,

"He's got his own routine, and demands we not disturb him," The princess said, narrating the last part in a mocking nasal.

Rosalina's response began as a chuckle but slowly morphed into a full-on belly laugh.

"I love that," she wheezed.

"What?" Quinn asked, putting on his best nasal, "This? I am Kazuya Mishima and I demand not to be disturbed."

Rosalina's infectious laughter was now silent gasps, the occasional squeak in between seal-like claps of her hands. Daisy had begun to laugh as well.

"I've got a couple more," Sans proclaimed out of nowhere, snapping his fingers.

"By the Goddess," moaned Edelgard.

"The Cleveland Combat Club," Sans said.

"No," Kazooie rolled her eyes.

"The Murder City players,"

Edelgard's eyes went wide, "You have a Murder City in your world? A city of murder?"

"Nah, that's just Saint Louis baby," Sans laughed, pointing finger guns at her, "How do you all feel about The Von Erichs?"

"The what?" Altair snapped.

"Okay, so that's a no," Sans nodded, "How about Tons of Funk?"

"I'll agree to whatever nonsense you can contract as long as you agree on your life never to call Edelgard 'baby' again," Hubert hissed.

"Yeah," Kazooie nodded a glint of defiance in her eyes, " I'll do whatever too, elsewise I'm gonna go the way of the Event 51 villain bozos and peace out."

This snapped Mario out of a trance, "Do you know if they did their interviews Kazooie?"

"Nope!" Kazooie said, "Headed right for Big Battlefield,"

Mario rubbed his temples,

"Peachy and the gang are helping ROB set up," Mario grumbled, "Well fuck's sake, I guess that's our opener. The rest of you meet with Nikki before 800 for interviews."

Daisy stood up, "Whaddya say, Rosie, Quinnie? Wanna get ours done first?"

Rosalina stood up just as excitedly, "Oh dear yes, The sooner we get this over with, the better."

Rosalina charged to the conference room, Quinn bolted to follow, but a silken glove grasped his shoulder. Quinn pivoted on his heel to see Daisy's smiling face looking down at him.

"You and Rosie are so cute together," she cooed.

"Oh…um…thanks," Quinn stammered.

Should have picked a luchador mask as my signature look, Quinn thought, Then nobody could see my fire engine-ass face right now, Quinn thought

"She's a smart cookie," Daisy continued, " But she doesn't really vibe with anyone except us and the Lumas,"

"That much I've deduced, yes," Quinn said.\

"No, I don't think you get my meaning," Daisy's usual chipper tone was replaced with a deadly serious, threatening one, " If you ever break her heart, I'll break you, then I'll shove a 1-Up Mushroom down your gullet and break you again for Peachy."

"Duly noted," Quinn gulped, casting a thumbs up, "But why save the mama bear talk for now?"

"We've seen you guys sneaking around, but Rosalina spent her entire punishment texting me and Peach about how great you are. Which, that's all fine and dandy for now, but I've seen a lot of great men turn out to be complete chudasaurus rexes, so I'm just warning you, even though you seem cool."

"I...um…don't know how to take that."

"We've been takin' too long Qunnie," Daisy suddenly shouted, "Rosalina's probably shaking like a leaf, getting pestered by Nikki."

"Yeah, see you out there Daisy!" Quinn waved, walking away.

Daisy raised her fist in acknowledgment, nodding cooly, but Quinn's eyes were solely focused on what was ahead of him. Quinn wilted as soon as he got in earshot of the conference room door.

"So how did you meet?" Nikki's excited voice asked.

"Well…um…," Rosalina's timid voice responded, "I read him a bedtime story."

"Well isn't that just the cutest thing!"

By now, Quinn had stepped inside the conference room, "Morning Nikki,"

"You're a lucky one, Quinn Marmaduke,"

"That's how people greet each other in the morning now?" Rosalina said through a sly grin.

"Creator, I hope not," Quinn laughed.

Nikki giggled, "Now that all the players are here, let's start the interview."

2 hours later

Big Battlefield Viewing Auditorium

Quinn could hear the grunts before the elevator even began its ascent. Practically everyone in the Mansion had been witness to Jin silently practicing forms outside, so the sequence of noises was familiar. But what was unfamiliar was the crunching of metal, kevlar, and bone. The end of the elevator ride made clear the extent of the damage. Kazuya Mishima stood in the middle of the auditorium, a whole platoon of military men dressed for combat lay unconscious at various places. The last soldier standing threw a punch, which Kazuya countered seemingly without thought, locking the arm joint. The barrage of hook kicks that followed was powerful enough to shred both the blackened metal on the victim's helmet and the kevlar on his vest. Quinn went to say something, but as she had earlier, Daisy clasped him on the shoulder, shutting him up.

"Glad to see you're all warmed up Kaz!"

Kazuya's gaze snapped to them, the soldier collapsing as soon as Kazuya let go.

"Ah," Kazuya nodded, "So it's time then."

"Yeah!" Daisy pumped her fist, "You ready?"

"You shouldn't worry about me," Kazuya snapped, casting an annoyed glance at his unconscious compatriots, "The question is, are you ready?"

"You ain't gotta worry about me buddy!"

Quinn couldn't help but visibly recoil at Daisy's expression. It was the most forced smile he'd ever seen on someone for whom smiling came so naturally. No doubt reasoned Quinn, she was boiling at having to make nice with someone so shrewd. Quinn's eyes immediately focused on Kazuya. His expression and stance remained unchanged. If Kazuya noticed her forced optimism, he didn't care.

"Good. Just because the Marmaduke boy is amateurish doesn't mean we can let our guard down against the god on his side."

Quinn opened his mouth to speak again. This time, the rustling of soldiers regaining consciousness silenced him. One by one, they snapped to attention, marching to the back of the auditorium and sitting down in a row of seats.

"Aw, I missed the dystopian Babushka doll brigade?" Sans whined as he teleported into the room.

Kazuya sneered, "These former Tekken Force soldiers are the elite in military superiority. To call them dolls is simply nonsense."

"You're gonna be a fun one," laughed Sans.

"For once I agree with the skeleton,"

Kazuya wheeled around to find Ganondorf, Mewtwo, and Bowser having broken from a hushed conversation to confront him

"Heh, this is gonna be good," Red, who had stayed silent, whispered.

"You doubt the resolve of my soldiers?" snapped Kazuya.

'I do," Ganondorf said.

"Seconded," Bowser growled, "These dweebs ain't got nothin' on my Koopa Troop."

The faintest of smiles pursed Kazuya's lips, "And how many times did a plumber or a boy wearing a skirt crush your armies?"

"Oooooh yeah!" Incineroar shouted as he came up the elevator with the rest of DLC, "Came up just in time for the promo battle!"

"Please do not shout that loudly in my vicinity ever again," growled Hubert.

Edelgard smiled up at her right-hand man, "I for one appreciate the boisterousness. It reminds me quite a bit of Caspar."

"Exactly why I want to avoid it," hissed Hubert.

"I would agree with you Hubert," Altair said, "However, spending time with my distant grandson Ezio has taught me to appreciate such things. Perhaps it is necessary to broaden your horizons."

Hubert scoffed at the idea. But none of that mattered to Quinn. He had begun to reflexively work out. Even Dante and Travis ' appearances, and the subsequent nonsensical chittering with Sans didn't break him from his concentration. Cloud and Robin came up the elevator together a few minutes later, silently greeting everyone, who greeted them back. Mario, Pikachu, Peach, Link, and Luigi were the last to come up the elevator. Mario immediately clapped his hands.

"Alright folks," Mario began, "We're going to be operating at three-stocks, items medium for all matches."

In a flurry of black feathers, Sephiroth appeared before Mario.

"Nice of you to join us Sephiroth," Mario grunted.

Sephiroth simply smirked, taking a seat.

"You missed the…"

"I don't care," said Sephiroth, "I will win no matter what the stipulations."

Mario frowned, "Alright-a, Event 51, you're up."

Peach, Link, and Pikachu stood up and headed for the elevator once again.

"Best of luck dears," waved Peach as the elevator descended.

Ganondorf grumbled, leading his trio ro the elevator. The lift descended with its villanous cargo. The Bash at Big Battlefield had begun.