Bash at Big Battlefield
OWA vs. DLC
Everyone who remained in the Big Battlefield auditorium sat in stunned silence, but Shulk was the first one to speak up, "You're gonna let that go, boss?"
Mario nodded, "Sans and Sephiroth have been needling each other for a while. I thought it'd tempered off, but-a apparently not. I'd rather them get everything out of their system now rather than have it blow up when Conker's goons come knocking."
Shulk sighed, quietly muttering the production changes into his headset.
Snowden Stage
"Remember what we talked about, that's all I'm going to say," Sans said as he tapped buttons on the stage console.
Altair and Edelgard nodded,
"Right," they agreed together.
"DIS IS A BULLCRAP!" Wario yelled, "THIS WAS-A NOT WHAT WE SIGNED UP FOR!"
"Wario, hush," demanded Sephiroth, "What is a change in venue to a god?"
"Yeah, definitely,"
The immediate deflation even caused Sans to look up from the console.
"Me and G-Dorf are gonna head up. See you losers later," he muttered devoid of accent.
And with that, the two villains shuffled to the elevator, the hovering disk nestling into its home on the roof, nestling its passengers into the auditorium above.
"And done," Sans said, "Get ready everybody."
Big Battlefield Auditorium
"Alright-a," Mario declared with a sigh, "We're-a a set."
For half a second, the camera flicked to Snowdin, the participants waiting for their cue, before flicking to interviews.
"The Tons of Funk division of the DLC is here!" Sans announced, "It's like an All-Star Team, but cooler. Sephiroth, you've shot off your mouth one too many times, and you're gonna feel what pain feels like."
Much like Cloud, Sephiroth was a man of few words.
"I'm already sparing enough time for these fools, this is too much," he growled, marching out of the room.
Now, the camera feed stayed on Snowdin, and Sephiroth on one side while Sans, Edelgard, Banjo-Kazooie, and Altair stayed on the other.
"STAGE MORPH ACTIVATED" bellowed the omnipresent voice of Mills Frames, "WE WILL BE FLIPPING IN BETWEEN SNOWDIN AND NORTHERN CRATER AT RANDOM! THE MUSIC WILL BE MEGALOVANIA AND ADVENT ONE-WINGED ANGEL RESPECTIVELY! FIGHTERS READY! 3, 2, 1, GO!
Edelgard and Altair launched forward. Against the magical rune sword and Aymr, Sephiroth could only block. Meanwhile, blue eggs and Gaster Blaster bolts were being launched his way.
"HA! WE'VE GOT HIM ON THE ROPES!" Sans hooted.
Stage Morph commencing.
The ground underneath everyone disappeared, everyone standing in a white light before the visage of the Northern Crater appeared around them.
"A parlor trick, nothing more," Sephiroth observed, completely nonplused.
Sephiroth pushed the Masamune as hard as he could, knocking Edelgard and Altair asunder.
"Princess, duck!" called Altair.
"Octoslash!" declared Sephiroth.
Sephiroth's flurry whizzed over his initial pursuers, sending him barrelling toward the ranged fighters.
"Is that really all you've got!" Kazooie called, "Wonder Wing!"
Banjo-Kazooie barreled through the onslaught, while Sans parried all of the hits that came his way.
Stage Morph Commencing
As the desolation of the Northern Crater gave way to a snowy, cozy town, Sans laughed, "Stage Morph didn't throw you nearly as off as I wanted, but we've been watching you. We know all your…"
In a flash, Sephiroth had charged forward, slashing through Sans.
"Hey jackass, catch!" Kazooie yelled.
A grenade exploded as it connected with Sephiroth's back. Edelgard and Altair jumped in, reading for stabbing blows through the back, but Sephiroth turned to block them in an instant.
"Yeah, Becky let me charge," Sans wheezed, as the laser bolt on the end of his Gaster Blaster grew larger and larger.
Stage Morph commencing
"Septillion" growled Sephiroth.
A hexagonal barrier appeared in front of Sephiroth. The pressure of his opponent's swords cracked it, but the move managed to have its intended effect, the crystalized barbs cutting into Edelgard and Altair. The sheer force of the attack caused them both to drop their guards.
"Oh no," Sans groaned.
"Octoslash," shouted Sephiroth.
This time, the swinging fury forced Altair and Edelgard's damage counters higher and higher, the final blow sending them to the Blast Zone.
ALTAIR AND EDELGARD ELIMINATED!
Stage Morph commencing
"NOW!" Sans shouted.
Fully charged Gaster Blast and Wonder Wing pancaked Sephiroth from both sides.
"FLARE!" Sephiroth roared.
Fire was flicked into the eyes of Banjo and Kazooie, both of them crying out in pain.
"OCTOSLASH!"
Banjo and Kazooie were next into the Blast Zone.
BANJO KAZOOIE ELIMINATED!
"I hope we stay right where we're at skeleton," Sephiroth said, his eyes burning with hatred, "This may be the scene of my greatest loss, but it will soon be the scene of a great personal triumph, shutting you up once and for-"
Stage Morph commencing
Sephiroth's face clenched into a frown as Northern Crater became Snowdin, "Now you've just made me angry."
"And what're you gonna do it, cry to your weird alien mommy?" Sans snapped back.
"Do you have anything more to say before I annihilate you?"
"Yep," Sans said, "To quote the great Thomas Jefferson…"
On cue, the pieces of the Daybreaker fell to him, the gun assembling in his hands.
"Bitch."
He fired the weapon, a blue light smothering the One Winged Angel.
Big Battlefield auditorium
"Oh my God he did it!" Daisy cheered.
The responding cheers were cut short by Kazuya's maniacal laughter.
"Yeah, should've figured," Cloud sighed.
Snowdin Stage
Sans could only watch in horror as Sephiroth, now bereft of the top half of his trenchcoat, flew leisurely back to the stage. As if to add insult to injury, the Daybreaker crumbled in his hand.
"Oh for Toby's sake," Sans groaned.
A silent Octoslash came a weakened Sans' way, but on the final hit, Sephiroth grabbed him by the throat.
"No," Sephiroth hissed, slamming Sans to the ground, "We're done when I'm done amusing myself."
Two Gigaflares in succession made sure Sans was nothing more than a limp husk before, tossing him into the Blast Zone.
GAME, SEPHIROTH WINS!
DLC headed defeatedly up the tunnel.
"Not since contesting with Byleth have a felt such power," Edelgard huffed.
"Yeah Dante," Kazooie agreed, "Good luck with that."
In the Big Battlefield auditorium, Dante broke the stunned silence, "Yeah, if this Byleth is so powerful, why did we not get him?"
"The weapons of the Goddess gifted themselves to Edelgard in this timeline, Byleth in another," Hubert explained, "When the time comes, we'll have both on our side."
"Yeah," Shulk said, "Sephiroth burned down the Nibelheim quadrant again, and he won't be back until after this is done, at least that's the information I'm getting from Wario and Ganondorf"
"Fine," Mario stomped his foot in anger, "Let them burn some trees like delinquent children. We've got what we need out of them."
"Hope you've got questions about Fire Emblem canon out of your head homie, because we're next!" Travis announced, pointing finger guns at Dante.
"Sweet, let's do it to it," Dante said, finger guns pointing back.
Dramatically linking arms, they skipped merrily down to the elevator. As the elevator descended, Dante did the Cabbage Patch while Travis did the Running Man.
Rosalina giggled, "It's my dance!"
Quinn raised an eyebrow, "Which one?"
"The one Dante was doing!" she explained.
"Well damn," Quinn laughed, "If you can do anything resembling a known dance, you're better than me."
"Perhaps," Rosalina said, "But that's why I stay away from dance outings with the other girls.
"We should make a day out of it, all of us and our beaus," Daisy said, "Go out for lunch, make a day out of Nintendoland, then go clubbin'"
"Peach'd be down for that,' Mario nodded.
Luigi also nodded his agreement, "Yeah, that'd be a fun group date!"
"Can me and Toriel get in on this too?" Sans asked.
"Sure, why not?" I'll put ya in the group chat!" Daisy pumped her fist in celebration.
"Great," Sans winked, "I'd like to have some fun before we all have to deal with the inevitability of Sephiroth as champion."
Those who were still in the tournament all frowned, turning to the TV, the semi-main event of Bash at Big Battlefield had begun.