(A/N: So, just to clear up any confusion, the previous chapter and this chapter will take place on the same day. So will the beginning of Chapter 30, and the ending of that leads up to Chapter 31. The reason why? A.) Just so I can get the events of everything to fit in right before the roadtrip the characters will take. And B.) This isn't the version of the show you know, so this is part of our continuity. Thanks for reading and please enjoy the chapter.)
Thursday Afternoon-Aaron's P.O.V.-Sabrina's Bedroom, Spellman's Residence
Sabrina and I were putting the finishing touches on our presents for Salem. Her present for him was a photo frame, my present for him was a photo book to boost his ego.
"Salem's birthday. Boy, I hope he likes his presents! It took me a million hours to mold this old wand into a new frame." Sabrina said, spinning around in her chair.
"Yeah. And it took a lot of time, glue, photos, blood and pain to make this photo book as well." I say, putting down the collage to shake my fingers. If you look closely, you could still see the half healed punctures from where I accidentally cut them with the scissors repeatedly within the past hour.
(The miracles of healing powers, bandages and ointments really help out with that.)
Sabrina stops her spinning and puts a photo of herself and Salem in there. "Nice job." I praised her.
"Thanks. You too." Sabrina said, looking at the photo book, which had Salem's...achievements, just to put it nicely.
And yes, I have to go to Hilda to get some photos of Salem when he was in his prime due to her working for him back then. Don't care for the details, just whatever makes Salem happy.
"What are you two doing?" Salem asked with a chuckle, jumping on Sabrina's bed. He must have snuck in the room.
Sabrina and I gasped as we hid our presents from Salem.
"What's with the cat on the hot, tin bed routine?" asked Sabrina.
Salem lifted one of Sabrina's pillows, trying to look for his present. "Oh, I don't know." He said as he hopped off her bed and checked under. "Looking for dust."
Salem then opened the closet door. "Ah," he said as he put on some rubber gloves and rub Sabrina's dresser, making a dust bunny in the process.
"You little sneak, you're trying to find your birthday presents." Sabrina said.
"Shame." I added as we left the closet.
"That's right, baby and kid." Salem told us as he grabbed Sabrina's teddy bear and danced around the room with it.
"It's my birthday, and I love it all: the party, the balloons, the cake, the bus, and most of all, the presents!" Salem declared as he tossed the bear back on Sabrina's bed.
Salem turned around and when he faced us, he had sunglasses on. "Cuz it's all about the presents. Speaking of which, what'd you two got there? Is that- heh heh, is that for moi?" Salem asked.
"Yes. Uh, no. I mean, maybe." Sabrina said as she and I blocked Salem's view of the presents.
"Please give me a hint." Salem pleaded.
"No way." Sabrina said.
"Jose." I added, much to Sabrina's confusion.
"But his name is Salem." Sabrina said.
"No, that's how it g-you know what, never mind. The more I explain my logic, the more confused you get," I say.
"Please! Just a tiny hinty winty!" Salem groveled.
Sabrina picked him up and tossed him towards the door.
"Ow!" Salem exclaimed. However, he turned back to us, giving us a sheepish smile. Sabrina zapped the door shut in his face.
"You'll just have to wait until this evening." Sabrina told Salem through the door.
"And just in case," I say, zapping the door so Salem can't use magic to get through.
Sabrina and I both let out sighs of relief. "Now we can continue working in peace." I say.
"Exactly." Sabrina said as we continued working on Salem's gifts.
Hilda, Zelda and Salem's P.O.V.-Living Room
The living room was covered in birthday streamers, balloons and banners. Hilda and Zelda, both wearing birthday hats, were sitting on the couches, watching opera and have tissue boxes on the coffee table between them.
"That's the last straw, Ross! I'm leaving you!" A random female said on the opera.
"Getting ready for my birthday festivities, I see." Salem said with a chuckle, walking towards Hilda and Zelda.
"Here we go like clockwork." Hilda said, annoyed.
"Every year, it's a countdown to the 'Salem birthday hour'. It even happened with Jake and Mary when they had Salem for years." Zelda says, putting an hourglass on the table and flipping it over, beginning the countdown.
"All about Salem," Hilda adds.
"Salem, Salem, Salem," the two sisters chanted, mocking Salem in a rare moment where the two are on the same side.
"I resent that. Am I so wrong to expect those who care about me to also care about my birthday?" asked Salem, pretending to be hurt.
"We do. We will...later. But right now, The Young and Relentless Marathon is on." Zelda said.
"20 hours of non-stop heartbreak, amnesia, and mistaken identity. It's also the only thing Zelda and I'll agree to watch together these days." Hilda said.
"For now." Zelda said as they went back to watching the marathon.
"I see how I rate," grumbled Salem as he began walking out of the living room.
"Don't worry, we'll celebrate as soon as young Dr. Vander Scum makes chief of staff or little Suzy is out of her coma. Whichever comes first." Hilda said.
"Besides, we got you a really great present." Zelda said.
"I just live for presents!" exclaimed a joyous Salem, leaning into Zelda's personal space.
"Could my present be a pair of fuzzy dices? They'd go great with the fleet of Model Ts that my good pal, Henry, once gave me. Henry Ford, that is." Salem said, only for Hilda to literally pop his bubbles, much to his protests.
"Nice try, smart guy." Hilda said, as Aaron and Sabrina poked their heads in without anyone knowing.
"A fleet of Model Ts?" asked Sabrina.
"Henry Ford?" Aaron asked.
Soon, Salem turned off the television, much to Hilda and Zelda's anger.
"You will resume your regular programming after I get my question answered. I just want to know how fabulous my present is. Did you arrange to have a city named after me?" Salem asked, before remembering.
"Oh, that's right, I already have one." Salem gloated. Zelda, ticked off, conjured up a pair of hands that dragged Salem out of the room.
Aaron's P.O.V.-Outside the Living Room
Sabrina and I leaned against the wall, listening in to the whole discussion, right up to Salem being dragged out of the room.
"I'll have you know that I've always got terrific birthday presents from my celebrity friends! And I'm talking about people like Amelia, Earhart that is, George Washington, and the famous pirate, Jean Lafitte!" Salem declared.
"Keep that in mind! Just make sure whatever my present is, you didn't get it from cousin Ambrose!" Salem declared. You know, Ambrose is one of the only Spellman relatives I've never met once. Wonder what he's like?
"What's the matter? You didn't like your hand-knitted pink imitation angora sweater?" Sabrina and I heard Hilda asked.
"It was too small, and it had a hood." Salem complained.
We heard Hilda being offended, followed by the sound of magic. "Don't you like cheesy, do-it-yourself gifts?" asked Hilda.
"Oh, good old cousin Ambrose." Zelda said.
"It was a sweet thought, though." Hilda said, followed by Salem being muffled. Guess she pulled the strings.
However, Sabrina looked like she was slapped in the face due to Salem saying only famous people give him better gifts. I, on the other hand, felt like whatever rocky friendship Salem and I had was destroyed due to those words.
Seriously, does he not see how much Sabrina and I care for him? Oh wait, I'm talking about the world's laziest cat ever! Who knows, maybe that's why he got turned into a cat! It's not because he tried to take over the world, it's because he barely attempted to do so!
"Come on, Aaron. You heard Salem, he only wants presents from his celebrity friends." Sabrina said sadly as she trudged upstairs, no doubt to grab her photo frame to throw it away.
Yep, Salem has made it to the top of my hate list. Which is shocking, because the ones on that list are Tim the Witch-Smeller, Filthy Frank, and the mayor of Greendale, who is also the principal. And Salem topped them all.
Two minutes later-outside the house
Sabrina and I threw away our presents, Sabrina due to feeling like it amounts to nothing, me because Salem deserves nothing!
"A crummy picture frame and a photo album! What were we thinking? Salem wants something bigger, better, more expensive!" Sabrina lamented.
"No, he doesn't." I told Sabrina.
"Huh?" She asked.
"Salem doesn't deserve those things because he doesn't get presents from either of us." I said.
"But, Aaron, it's Salem bi-" Sabrina began.
"Yeah, and he's using it to show how much he cares for us, which is not that much. God, I don't know what I was thinking, trying to earn his friendship. Whatever nice version of himself he has, he destroyed it after his personality got fixed." I say.
"But, Aaron, it's still his birthday. We should at least get him something. Maybe he'll realize that we care about him." Sabrina said, more to herself.
I sighed. "Fine, but only because you seem to be the only person to care about him, even if he doesn't give a-" I began.
"Aaron, I'm shocked you're about t-" Sabrina was about to interrupt me.
"-flying horse radish about us. Seriously, Sabreeny, you know I wouldn't swear at a moment like this." I say as we head towards the library.
Greendale Library
Sabrina, Chloe(who we told everything to) and I were looking through the books. Seriously, I wouldn't have bothered with trying to get Salem a present, but Sabrina's convinced that if we get him a much better present, he'll realize that we care and will count us as his celebrity friends.
So I decided to help out, mainly so Sabrina wouldn't have to bear the stress of trying to find the perfect present.
"There's nothing in the Nifty Gifties or the I'll Be There, Done That catalog. Anyway, I don't understand why you two can't just give him the picture frame and photo album. You both work so hard of them." Chloe says.
"But Salem is used to getting big cost-lots-of-money presents! People say they like simple, little gifts, but they don't!" Sabrina lamented.
"Hey, all I'm giving him is some fresh catnip and a squeezy toy." Chloe told us.
"Cranky old warlock, he'll love that." Sabrina said, squeezing the squeezy toy and laughing.
"And what about you, Aaron? Why aren't you giving him the photo album?" Chloe asked.
"Because Salem doesn't deserve to get anything from me. I'm just helping Sabrina find a present she can give to him." I say, crossing my arms.
"I mean it, Chloe. I have to give him something out there. Exotic." Sabrina says.
"Like what? You're just a kid, you can't afford an extravagant gift. Besides, you know what they say: it's the thought that counts." Chloe says.
"Grown-ups just say that so they won't have to up our allowances." Sabrina said.
"And when they give you sugar-free popsicles that taste like ice instead of regular popsicles. I didn't want the ice-flavored popsicle, I wanted the regular popsicle! Why, why, why?!" I add, slamming my fist on the table as Sabrina and Chloe looked at me dumbfounded.
"Hey, guys, are we getting together later to work on our book reports?" Harvey asked, walking up to us.
"Uh-huh." Chloe and Sabrina nodded their heads.
"Cool. And you, Aaron?" Harvey asked.
"Actually, I already finished it." I say.
"When? We got it assigned to us yesterday." Harvey said.
"Last night." I say.
"How did you get it done that quickly?" Harvey asked.
"That's my secret." I told him.
"Okay. See ya." Harvey said, leaving.
"Remind me, what are we doing ours on?" Sabrina asked Chloe.
Chloe pulled out a book. "Time Machine, by H.G. Wells." Chloe said.
I could tell a lightbulb turned on Sabrina's head. Literally, given her face lit up.
"Time machine, that's it! I got it! That's how I can get Salem the perfect killer gift! Come on, Aaron!" Sabrina exclaimed as she dragged me.
What kind of training did she receive? Especially since she is now dragging me without a single sweat.
"What?" asked Chloe as she followed after us.
Sabrina's Bedroom, Spellman's Residence
Chloe and I were sitting on Sabrina's bed as Sabrina was trying to figure out how to time travel. Without Salem's 'help'.
"Uh, could you clue us a little in here, okay?" Chloe asked.
"Easy, she's trying to get us to do time travel without the help of the world's laziest cat." I say.
"I get that, but I mean, why? Like, you're planning on finding Salem's birthday present inside his kitty condo?" Chloe asked as Sabrina bent down to rummage around in it.
"Of course not. What we need from here is his address book. Then all we need is one teeny little thing from the attic." Sabrina said.
"Huh?" She asked as she felt something that didn't feel right, I guess and took a peek in Salem's condo.
"Come on, man, I got to break even before the cats get back." A voice said from the condo.
"Excuse me, guys, do you know where Salem keeps his address book?" Sabrina asked the voice in the condo.
Shortly after that, Sabrina pulled out a blue book with a pawprint on it and a red phone in the middle. Guess Salem is ashamed of being shown up by Blue's Clues. Ugh, Salem made me so mad, he got me mentioning...educational television!
"What are you doing in there, anyways?" Sabrina asked the voices.
Turns out, the voices are mouses. "Well, you know when the cat's away." One mouse said as he went back in the condo, while Sabrina gave Chloe and me a sideway glance and a shrug.
Soon, we went up to the attic, searching through a lot of trunks and stuff.
"Ok, we've got the address book, which gave us the names of some of Salem's famous friends. Now all we need to do is find the right spell to get us where we need to go." Sabrina said.
"Don't you mean when?" I asked.
"Yes, exactly. If we were looking for time puns, Aaron. What's next?" Chloe asked.
"Chloe, what do you think this is, Spy Kids 4? I'm not full of lazy time puns just because we're doing something time-related." I say.
"Whose are these?" Chloe asked, holding up a huge pair of briefs.
"Zelda has lost a little weight. We don't talk about it." Sabrina whispered.
"So, who is Ambrose?" I asked.
"From what Zelda told me, he's a cousin of mine who is a snake oil salesman." Sabrina says before throwing things to the side.
"Aunt Zelda's box of old spells has to be up here somewhere!" Sabrina says.
"Hmm, I've never seen this before," Sabrina remarked, holding up a wand that looked like it belonged in a magic show.
The wand, taking offense, suddenly had a face on it. "Well, I've never seen you before, either!" The wand snapped as Sabrina shrugged and threw it aside.
"Wow, that wand sure is snappy." I say.
Chloe turned towards us, wearing a ragged witch hat, which made everyone in the attic chuckle.
However, everyone laughed after I put a spyglass up to my eye and took it off with a ink circle, which caused Sabrina and Chloe to laugh. I was confused for a second, only to see my reflection in the attic mirror and burst into laughter as well. The three of us laughed for five minutes before settling down.
Sabrina stood on some boxes and grabbed a box from a bowl, which began glowing.
"Yes! Hey, Chloe, Aaron, I think I found the time-travel kit." Sabrina told us as she walked over to us.
Sabrina opened the kit, revealing a compass and a piece of paper. "Oh my gosh, we found it! We found the spell to travel back through time!" Sabrina said happily, spinning Chloe and me around.
"And best of all, we don't need Salem's stupid spell." I added.
"Ha ha! Huh? We're gonna travel back in time? What's that got to do with getting Salem a really fabulous present?" Chloe asked, realizing what we were doing.
"We're gonna travel back in time and with this video camera, we're gonna get some of Salem's famous friends to wish him a happy birthday. It'll be an amazing one-of-a-kind video birthday spectacular," Sabrina says.
"Hmm, time travel, huh? Gee, I don't know. Sounds kind of, you know, dangerous." Chloe said.
"But think about it, Chloe. Gem hasn't time travel, has she?" I asked.
"Well, no." Chloe says.
"See, we're fine. Plus, we're probably covered by the spell." I say.
"We are not liable in regards to lost luggage, library books or limbs, yada, yada, yada." Sabrina said, reading the bottom of the compass.
"See? Totally covered." I say with a smile.
However, Chloe let out a gasp as she checked out more of the bottom of the compass. "Four misplacement of travellers due to glitches of time. Yeah, you know, minor stuff like that." She said
"In addition, if the caster of the spell is to get home safely, she must have this compass in her possession at the time the spell expires," Sabrina read more of the compass warnings.
"The length of the spell may vary," Chloe says.
"Depending on the person using it. I think we're fine." I say.
"What do you say, Chloe? Will you come with Aaron and me and help us? It's my chance to give Salem the biggest, bestest birthday present ever!" Sabrina says.
"I don't know." Chloe said.
"Come on, please. Think about how disappointed he'll be, otherwise." Sabrina pleaded.
"It'll be no fun without you." I added.
"It's this or a picture, a photo album and a cheap recycled frame." Sabrina said.
"Let's do it." Chloe said, grabbing her backpack.
"Camera's rolling." She adds, turning on the camera.
"Protection of a bayona with this spell, I cast. I ask you to take us to those of Salem's past." Sabrina incanted as the compass glowed.
"Hey, guys. Hilda and Zelda said you were up here." Harvey says, walking into the attic.
"Harvey?" I asked, just as the spell activated and a blue tornado started sucking us in.
"And that I should ju-" was all Harvey managed to say before letting out a scream as we went through time.
Random Island in the Pacific Ocean, 1937
Sabrina, Chloe and I were zapped onto an island, near an ocean.
"Where are we?" Chloe asked.
"Don't you mean when?" I say, getting Chloe's deadpan expression.
"I don't know. But wherever, or whenever, it is, we're here. The spell worked!" Sabrina answered.
"Wait, where Harvey?" I asked, looking around.
"Harvey?" Sabrina and Chloe asked, dumbfounded.
"Oh my goodness, you two forgot who Harvey is!" I say, shocked.
"What, no. I meant, why are you asking about where Harvey is?" Sabrina asks.
"Oh. He got sucked in with us." I reply, as Sabrina and Chloe glanced at each other with horror.
"Then again, there might be a small chance he's still in the attic, wondering where we are." I add, only for Harvey to stumble in front of us, dazed.
"Sabrina, what happened? Why aren't we still in your attic?" Harvey asked, stumbling up to us.
"Small chance, huh?" Chloe asked me sarcastically as I shrug sheepishly.
"Um, well, you see, it's the funniest thing," Sabrina says with a chuckle.
"Run! Run for your lives!" An adult woman cried out, running out of the jungle of the island and past us.
"Was she wearing a pilot's outfit and a grass skirt?" I asked.
"Yep." Sabrina says.
"Look, fellow, fresh prey." A random voice says from the forest. We turn to see something truly terrifying.
"Holy Jiminy Crickets! Tennis players wearing polo! Run before they tie sweaters around our necks and make us throw Cadillacs at puppies!" I exclaim as we all run and scream.
Sabrina grabbed the camera from Chloe and began running backwards, videotaping the tennis players.
"Sabrina, is this really the time?!" I asked.
"Aaron, every time is a perfect time to videotape everything!" Sabrina says.
"Great, now we're part of Spy KIds 4 Part 2: The Policy of No Refunds for Time Puns!" Chloe exclaims as Sabrina screams due to how close tennis players were to us.
"What's a Spy Kids 4?" The adult woman asked.
"It's a disappointment." I say.
"I actually enjoy it." Harvey admitted.
"Not the time, Harv!" Everyone shouted, even the female, and she didn't know his name at all. Teamwork is great.
"Sabrina, what's happening?!" Harvey asked.
"Easy, Harv, we're running." I answered.
"I don't know about you, but that picture frame is looking to be a terrific birthday present right now!" Chloe says.
"Exactly, and I don't care about Salem at this point!" I add.
"Come on, Chloe and Aaron, we've got to go for it! I've got to get Salem a big showy present," Sabrina told us, pulling out Salem's address book. "Besides, look at the first name on the list! Amelia Earhart, the famous female pilot!" Sabrina explains.
The female in front of us skid to a stop. "You know who I am?" She asked, revealing herself to be Amelia Earhart.
"Yeah, you're, like, the most famous woman who ever tried to fly around the world." Sabrina says.
"You're in history books," I add.
"True, but the thing I'm probably most famous for by now is getting lost." Amelia says as Harvey falls down on his face, exhausted.
"True. Heck, people claim they should get tons of research funds because they saw you on an episode of Star Trek." I say.
"What's Star Trek?" Amelia asked.
"I have no idea, but people make the joke it's for nerds and geeks." I say with a shrug.
"So, what are you kids doing here anyways?" asked Amelia.
"Actually, we're here to ask you a favor, and-" Sabrina began, only for the tennis players to start closing the distance between them and us.
"What kind of islanders are they?" Sabrina asked, pointing at the tennis players.
"Martha's Vineyard. There's never a moment's peace. What's the favor you need? I don't mean to be rude, but they're gaining on us. Make it snappy, okay?" Amelia says while panting heavily.
"I need you to wish an old friend a happy birthday. It's-" Sabrina began, only to be interrupted as the tennis players closed the distance.
Amelia climbed up a tree, Chloe was shaking like a leaf, and I was making sure Harvey was hydrated when Sabrina pulled out a director's hat, a megaphone and sunglasses from Chloe's backpack.
"Okay, quiet!" Sabrina says, testing out the megaphone.
"Okay, people! Work with me here, I'm shooting a video! Let's have some quiet, okay?!" Sabrina asks via the megaphone, causing the tennis players to skid to a stop.
At that moment, Harvey woke up and started spitting out the water I had carefully poured down his throat without having to drown him(something I picked up from training with my mother.) and screamed. The tennis players looked him in the face with sharp teeth, for reals, causing him to pass out again.
"Seriously? Do you know how much of a hassle it is just to keep him hydrated?" I asked. However, they ignored me to smile brightly as they planted their tennis rackets in the ground and pose in front of them.
This confirms it, tennis players in polo are jerks. Just never let me catch one throwing Cadillacs at puppies or else, there'll be *Swore in Saiyanese* to pay!
Amelia jumped down from the tree and looked at the tennis players, surprised that Sabrina's plan worked.
Sabrina pulled out a microphone from Chloe's backpack, which extended and hit Amelia in the head. And then Sabrina puts makeup on Amelia before rushing to be next to Chloe, as I stood next to them, carrying Harvey with one arm under his shoulders.
"So, Miss Earhart, what I'd like to have you do is say something nice and celebration of a very near and dear old friend's birthday. Okay, go ahead and send a big happy birthday wish to...Salem!" Sabrina exclaims happily.
However, thunder strikes somewhere in the distance as Amelia's eyes start to bug out, and her expression changes to one of absolute rage.
"Salem?!" She demanded, her fist clenched and shaking as the tennis players hid in the bushes. She should do this often, maybe she'll get a moment of peace sooner.
"Is there a problem?" Sabrina asked with a nervous gulp. "I mean, wasn't Salem a really good friend of yours?" She asked.
"Salem is the reason I got lost and ended up stuck on this stupid island! He told me he had a map that would take me around the world and maybe a star!" Amelia shouted, stomping on the ground.
Sabrina, Chloe and I let out a gasp as Amelia stormed right up to us. "But it was a map to the star's homes! Salem! I never want to hear that name again!" Amelia ranted, glaring at us.
"Really? So I'm guessing that means you're not gonna want to send birthday greetings to old Salem?" Sabrina asked.
"I said 'I never want to hear that name again'!" Amelia shrieked, her whole body turning red.
"Chill out! We have no idea of your beef with the world's worst warlock! He claims you're his friend." I say.
"I! Don't! CARE!" Amelia screamed as we began leaving. Good news, at least Harvey woke up and started running.
"So much for that 'dear friend of Salem's'." Sabrina says.
"Sabreeny, just go with the picture frame. We already know Salem's a compulsive liar at this point, that it's clear he lied about having famous friends!" I say.
"No, Aaron! Just because Amelia's a dud doesn't mean the others are!" Sabrina shot back.
"Who's next?" Chloe asked.
"Somebody really special. There are two stars by his name in the address book." Sabrina says.
"So Salem decides to share his gold star with someone else? Gee, that's a surprise." I say sarcastically.
"No, they're drawn in. It's some guy named...George." Sabrina says.
"Which George? There's so many." I commented.
"No cluse. And no, none of them is a curious monkey." Sabrina says.
"Dang it, it would be easier to make fun of Salem." I say.
"I know. And Salem makes it easy at times." Sabrina agrees.
Suddenly we heard the sound of an alarm clock going off, causing us to skid to a stop. Sabrina pulled out the compass.
"Warning, spell transporting time-travellers now." The compass warned.
At that moment, Harvey ran up to us. "Time what?" Harvey asked as we were zapped away, once again sending us through time.
Last thing we heard was Amelia Earhart shrieking, "I hate Salem!".
December 25th-26th, 1776, Hudson River
The four of us were zapped onto a boat, causing it to almost tip over.
Harvey gulped, starting to turn green. Didn't know he was seasick. Or in this case, riversick. "First, hostile, tennis playing islanders, now I'm getting seasick. This is the worst dream I've ever had!" Harvey complained.
"George Washington? Wow, Salem is some heavy hitter." Chloe says.
"Who cares about Salem? This is George Washington in front of us, and I have one question for him." I say.
"Okay. Let's introduce ourselves first, so he won't mistake us for the British." Sabrina said as she put the compass in her bag.
"Good morning, Mr. President," Sabrina greeted.
"What in the-who are you?" George Washington asks us.
"We're here because we're making this amazingly fabulous present for your old fri-" Sabrina began.
"Is it true you and Abraham Lincoln fought each other over a penny?" I asked, while Sabrina and Chloe facepalmed.
"I'll tell you one thing, that ghost with the most gross out lines had some points made. Plus, Abraham didn't have to mention anything about my teeth rotting out." George Washington answered with a nod, much to Sabrina and Chloe's shock.
"I knew it, Beetlejuice the Animated Series is historically accurate!" I exclaimed.
"Wow, Aaron. For once, your weird habits paid off." Chloe said.
"Thanks...Hey, I heard that!" I shot back, as Chloe giggled.
"Anyways, this present is for your old friend, Salem." Sabrina continued.
However, just like with Amelia Earhart, thunder struck somewhere behind us as George Washington's skin turned red due to anger, his eyes bugged out and his expression went into pure rage. Though this time, only his face turned red.
"Salem?!" He demanded.
"He's a friend of yours, right? I mean, you do remember him." Sabrina says.
"My dear, I think of him every time I chew and every time I end up with a tongue full of splinters!" George Washington explained, pointing at his wooden teeth.
"Um, I thought I read somewhere that the thing about you having wooden teeth wasn't really true." Sabrina said.
"Well, don't believe everything you read, young lady. Do you know why my teeth are wooden?" George asked.
Sabrina shook her head no, answering his question.
"I was out by my father's cherry tree. I was sharpening my ax! Salem was practicing the tango! With untied shoelaces, he tripped, he slammed into me, my ax slammed into the tree and it fell on me!" George shouted, as his wooden teeth flew out of his mouth. "The teeth weren't damaged though. That didn't stop him from giving me these wooden teeth WHEN THEY ROTTED OUT!" George exclaimed, putting his teeth back in.
"Ah!" Chloe exclaimed, pointing behind us. "Uh oh." Sabrina said, as we saw the British behind us.
George Washington popped back in his wooden teeth and pointed an accusing finger at Sabrina. "You distracted me with all that talk about Salem! Now we're under attack! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" George shouted, as the British were closing the distance between them and us.
Sabrina pulled out the compass. "Oh, let it be time to go." Sabrina pleaded.
Chloe grabbed the compass and started shaking it. "Come on! Come on! Do something!" Chloe pleads desperately.
"Chloe, that's not how it's done. This is." I say, before glancing at it.
"Please do something." I say.
"Aaron, why would you say please to the spell?" Chloe asked.
"Because saying please always works." I say.
"Not in this case," Sabrina points out, indicating the compass, which is doing nothing.
"Drats." I say, looking down.
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Harvey groaned, just as the compass began working.
"Alright, alright, warning: spell transporting time-travellers now." The compass warned again, hopping into Sabrina's bag.
"Really, it worked because Harvey says he was gonna be sick?" I asked as we were zapped away once again.
Last thing we heard was George Washington declaring, "I hate Salem!"
Jean Lafitte's ship-1800s
The four of us fell onto the deck of a ship in the middle of the sea.
"Where are we now?" asked Chloe.
"A ship in the middle of the sea, Chloe. And not where, but when." I say.
"Great! This guy got three stars by his name! I'm guessing this must be the ship of one of Salem's best friends." Sabrina says.
"Sabrina, I think Salem lied about having friends just to make you feel bad." I say.
"Aaron, what are you talking about?" Sabrina asked.
"Think about it. He says Amelia Earhart and George Washington were his friends, but they both hate him. What if he just said that because he wants us to be in danger for his own amusement? Not the first time he's done it." I muttered under my breath bitterly.
"Aaron, I know you and Salem aren't exactly friends. But if we use this last chance, Salem will see that we do care." Sabrina assured.
"Fine, but only because I don't want you to put everything on your shoulders." I say.
"Great. Now, I believe this is the famous pirate Jean Lafitte." Sabrina explain in a French accent. At least she improved on her French accent since...the whole Scheherazade incident two months ago.
"This boat is not rocking. Cool!" Harvey said, no longer seasick.
"I hope this works. The spell could wear off any minute now." Sabrina says, pulling out the camera.
"This could be my last chance to give Salem a really monster gift" Sabrina adds, running past us towards Jean Lafitte. The rest of us followed her.
"Ahoy there, children! I have no idea who you are or why you're dressed in those ridiculous clothes, but welcome to my humble pirate ship. Jean Lafitte at your service." Jean Lafitte greeted, taking off his hat and giving us a bow.
"Harping root beers all around for my new friends!" Jean ordered as the pirate crew raised their mugs of root beer in the air. "They are obviously magicians of some sort!" Jean continued.
"Actually, Aaron i-" Harvey was about to say before I kicked him in the shins.
"Ow!" Harvey complained, rubbing it gingerly.
"Remember the consequences of revealing magic to others?" I hissed in his ears.
"Are you positive it'll happen even in my dreams?" Harvey asks.
"Yes. Now if you don't want that happening to you, keep it to yourself." I whispered as the pirates began dancing and giving Chloe, and Harvey. I politely declined, of course, and Sabrina was holding the camera.
Sabrina turned and started tugging at Jean's sleeve. "Excuse me, Mr. Pirate, sir. I-huh?" Sabrina asked, as Jean was pulled away by three pirates.
Soon, Chloe was grabbed by another pirate. "Whoa, this dream is getting good!" Harvey states.
"I really need to ask you for a favor." Sabrina explains, pulling Jean away from the other pirates.
"Yes. Of course. Anything." He replies.
"Whatever you do, don't mention-" Chloe began to warn Sabrina before getting spun around by a pirate. Said pirate began spinning around too.
"Whoa, pirates!" Harvey stated.
"Seriously, did you just realize that?" I asked.
"Yes." Harvey answered as I was about to facepalm myself. However, I stopped myself and facepalmed Harvey instead.
"Would you send a birthday greeting to your old pal, Salem?" Sabrina asks, just as Chloe put a hand on Sabrina's shoulder.
"-Salem. That's what I was gonna say not to mention." Chloe finished, a bit dizzy from being spun around.
"Salem? Why do I keep dreaming about Sabrina's cat?" Harvey asked.
Third time the charm, thunder struck somewhere behind us as Jean Lafitte's face turned red and his eyes bugged out.
"Salem?!" Jean demanded as Harvey and Chloe hid behind Sabrina and me.
"Because of Salem, my sword privileges were taken from me, and I am reduced to using this!" Jean snaps, holding up a rubber flamingo.
"I cannot go into the details. They are too sordid. But, oh, that humiliation! Forced to use a long flamingo in place of a sword! And it's plastic, no less!" He ranted, holding it out in front of us.
"Because of Salem, my sword was taken! In its place, I take this!" Jean LaFitte snarled, taking the compass.
Sabrina gasped, tears forming on her eyes. "You can't!" Sabrina protested.
"I just did." Jean LaFitte gloated.
Sabrina started sobbing. "Now we'll never get home, and it's all my fault. I just wanted to give Salem a killer present instead of a cheap lame-o thing I was gonna give him." Sabrina lamented.
"No, it's Salem's fault, Sabreeny. He doesn't want to acknowledge the good stuff we do for him and he lied about having friends just to make you feel bad. If anything, Salem should be apologizing, not you." I assured.
"Hmm, a present. All this for a present? Silly girl, don't you know that with presents, it's the thought that counts?" Jean asked.
"I said that." Chloe states.
"And if you know Salem as much as we do, you know he won't settle for a 'it's the thought that counts' type of present." I said.
"Who cares about any of that? All I want is my compass back!" Sabrina demanded as she attempted to grab it from Jean, who was slowly being backed into a corner.
"Well, I want my sword privileges back!" Jean shot back.
"Take these two to the brig!" He ordered, as his crew dragged Chloe and Harvey to the brig...whatever that is.
"These two are coming with me." Jean said, poking us with the rubber flamingo. Note to self: after this, find Salem and yell at him for giving rubber flamingos to pirates as weapons.
"If you two don't cooperate, I will feed your little playmates to the sharks!" Jean threatened as he led Sabrina and me down the stairs.
Harvey and Chloe's P.O.V.-The Brigs
"Okay, I'm ready to wake up now! And when I do, I wanna be in my own house, in my own bed, in my Captain Guano jammies!" Harvey shouted.
Chloe, fed up with all the shouting, grabbed Harvey and spun him around. "If you ever want to see those jammies again, Harv, you'd better save Sabrina and Aaron and get that compass back!" Chloe snapped.
"How am I gonna do that?" Harvey asked.
"Hmm." Chloe said thoughtfully, as she looked around the room. "Ah!" She said, glancing at the keys.
"With a little help from our...friends." Chloe said, referring to the skeletons.
Aaron's P.O.V.-Mast
Sabrina and I were tied up to the mast of Jean's ship as he paced back and forth in front of us. Suddenly, the compass let out the alarm, meaning that the spell must be running out of time soon.
"Warning: five minutes and counting until the spell wears off." The compass warned.
"It's a heist, and you're losing!" Jean gloated, glancing at Sabrina and me.
"But I told you, we can't give you your sword privileges back. Our magic doesn't work like that." Sabrina tries to explain.
"And we can't convince Salem anyways, due to him believing he's in the right." I add.
"What do you want from us?!" Sabrina demanded, glaring at Jean.
Harvey and Chloe's P.O.V.-The Brig
The two lifted up a skeleton, using the skeletal arm to grab the key. "Got it!" Chloe exclaimed, excited that their plan was working.
Aaron's P.O.V.-Mast
Suddenly, Harvey swung right onto the deck of the ship and rescued Sabrina and me. Yes, really, that happened. I actually had a list of things that is likely to never happen, and Harvey being the one to save us is highly unlikely.
Harvey brought us to the other side of the ship, where Chloe was standing. "Get the compass!" Chloe told Harvey, who jumped down and ran towards Jean.
"...Is this happening?" I asked Chloe.
"Yep." Chloe said with a nod as Jean walked up to Harvey, rubber flamingo in hand.
"You want the compass? You have to duel for it!" Jean challenged, holding out the rubber flamingo.
Harvey accepted by taking the rubber flamingo as Jean pulled out another from...somewhere.
"En garde!" Jean said, as he and Harvey began fighting and...can anyone take fighting with rubber flamingos seriously?
The two rubber flamingo-duels all the way to the hull of the ship, where they were standing on the mast for it. Harvey jumped over Jean's thrust, grabbed a rope, and swung over to the plank, where the two proceeded to continue to do battle.
Only for Harvey to get his rubber flamingo knocked out of his hands and eaten by a shark.
"Oh no! Why didn't I listen?! Why did I have to go chasing after some huge present?! Why didn't I just give Salem the stupid little picture frame?!" Sabrina asked.
"Because no matter what, Salem won't care about who cares about him, all he cares about is how much. To him, if the present isn't big, then the person doesn't care at all." I told her, as we both glanced at Harvey.
"Harvey, be careful!" Sabrina cried out.
"Save the advice! I could use a little help!" Harvey called back.
"Boy, you need kelp?" Chloe asked, waking up(forgot to mention she fainted) and grabbed some kelp.
She then tosses it at the plank, where Jean slips and falls, losing both his peg leg and the compass. The compass was caught by one of his pirates, though. As that happened, his peg leg was eaten by a shark.
"I hate Salem!" Jean roared as his pirates began dancing in front of us. Sabrina grabbed the compass from the pirate who grabbed it just as the alarm rang, signaling the end of the spell.
"Warning-" The compass began.
"We know!" Harvey interrupted, as we were zapped back to our regular, and surprising safe, timeline.
The Attic, Spellman's Residence-2011(The Present)
Harvey shook his head. "I-I'm awake, right?" Harvey asked us.
"Uh, er, right." Sabrina answered.
"But, I was asleep, right?" Harvey asked.
"Right. Um, you checked out right after you got here." Sabrina answered.
"Like a sheep." I add.
"In fact, you still look a little groggy. What do you say I walk you home?" Chloe asked Harvey as she pulled him out of the attic.
Living Room
Sabrina sighed as she and I walked in her living room, as Hilda and Zelda glanced up at us.
"Guess it's time for Salem's celebration. Where is the little princess?" Sabrina asked.
"Funny, I thought he was more Link from the Legend of Zelda cartoon." I said, as Sabrina snickered.
"I'm right here, and I'm offended you think I would be wearing green tights." Salem says, jumping out from the hall, wearing a baby blue tuxedo and having a red wig on his head.
"Anyway, thank you both for my present. I love them. I found where you hid them." Salem says, pulling out Sabrina and my 'gifts' for him, "in the trash. Pretty clever," he concluded.
"Actually, we threw them out. We, I mean, I, thought there was no way a dinky present that didn't cost a lot of money could ever compete with the amazing stuff you're used to getting." Sabrina explains.
"What are you talking about? Presents aren't about the money-" Salem began.
"Really? We wouldn't know the way you have been bragging about it." I snapped.
"These are the best gifts anyone has ever given me." Salem said, before turning to me.
"And what crawled up your butt and died?" Salem asked.
"Easy, you. The day you've decided to flaunt people who hated you as your 'true friends' rather than Sabrina and me, which is today, is the day you've killed any ounce of goodness you have! Then again, as the old saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies?" I said.
"And that means what?" Salem asked.
"You not only hurt Sabrina, you also caused her to travel through time just to talk to your so-call friends and got yelled at for your actions, Salem! Face it, your actions hurt everyone around you and you don't care at all!" I yelled.
"So? At least I have a framed photograph of myself and someone else. Because this is my world, and you all live in it." Salem said.
"You know what? Whatever friendship I thought we have is over, Salem Saberhagen! Come on, Sabrina, let's get away from this compulsive liar!" I said as I stormed to the front door.
Sabrina gave one last look to Salem, who did nothing to assure her, nor to diffuse the whole situation, before she followed after me.
What I didn't know, however, is that was one of the starting points where Sabrina's already not great mental state got worse.