Chapter 3: Checkmate
The first sensation he had was that it was warm, wherever he was, and comfortable at that. Was he dead? But if he was dead, then why did he feel so damn good?
Vanitas blinked open his eyes. Where the hell was he? He shifted in a pile of blankets. A bed? Looking around, he assessed the situation. He was in one of the Castle's many bedrooms. It was dim; only a single candle was burning. He sat up shakily just as Aqua walked into the room. For some reason her clothes were in bloodstained tatters.
"Oh, you're awake! Just in time." She was carrying a tray with a spoon and a steaming bowl of something. Whatever it was, it smelled good. "Here, eat this." She held the tray out to him, revealing the contents of the bowl. It was soup. "You lost a lot of blood, so you need to regain your strength."
Vanitas stared at her dumbly. What the hell was she talking about? And why were her clothes all fucked up?
"…I'm dead, aren't I." Either that or this was the most surreal dream he'd ever experienced. Aqua gave him an odd look. Vanitas reached up to rub the side of his helmet and nearly jumped when his fingers came into contact with hair instead of glass or metal.
"Where's my mask?!" he shouted frantically. An erratic Yellow Mustard sprung out of him —missing Aqua's face by inches— and went careening down the corridor. Aqua jerked back to avoid the wayward Unversed and nearly dropped the tray, the soup bowl sloshing some of its contents over the sides.
"It's right there," she said, wide-eyed, nodding at the bedside table and readjusting the tray in her hands.
His Panic subsided when he saw she was right. His helmet was perched on the table, a few scratch marks lining the dark, glassy surface. Suddenly he remembered. He had taken it off in a delirious haze to repair it after being attacked by—
"The vines. What happened?" He inspected his arms where the thorns had torn through the fabric of his Dark Suit, but the holes had already stitched themselves up.
"Well," Aqua took a seat in the chair next to him, setting the tray on her lap. "We were able to escape, but the path to Castle Town collapsed, and you lost so much blood that you passed out."
"But how did I end up here?" he insisted.
"I carried you, obviously. It wasn't easy, though. You're heavier than you look."
Vanitas continued to stare at her in bewilderment. She had saved him? Why? A Triple Wrecker was trying its damnedest to materialize, but he held it back. Maybe if he kept her talking, he could alleviate his Confusion. Before he could ask, though, Aqua beat him to it.
"No more questions until you eat." She set the tray on his lap; he resisted the urge to flinch.
"…This is for me?"
"Yes," she said in exasperation.
Vanitas eyed the soup warily. If she wanted to poison him, she could just use a spell, right? His stomach rumbled. Maybe he would try just a little sip. Grabbing the bowl with both hands, he had nearly brought it to his lips when Aqua gave a small noise of disgust.
"Were you raised by wolves?!" she asked, flabbergasted.
"Xehanort," Vanitas corrected with a grunt. Aqua's face fell into an expression that seemed suspiciously close to pity. Seriously? She was upset by his lack of table manners? Maybe she thought he didn't know how to use silverware. Well, with the way he was acting, she probably did think he was some sort of savage; more like a wild animal than a human being.
"Oh, fine," he conceded, reluctantly picking up the spoon and holding it in an awkward grip. When was the last time he'd used a utensil…?
"May I—" Aqua reached out to touch his hand. Vanitas jerked out of her reach and shot her a dark glare. She drew back and bit her lip. What the hell was her deal? At least none of the soup had spilled this time.
Aqua slumped in her chair. "I hope it's decent," she sighed sheepishly. "I was kind of in a hurry. I'm more of a baker than a cook."
Vanitas didn't particularly care what kind of chef she claimed to be. He tore his gaze away from her and turned his attention to the soup. Hopefully she would keep her hands to herself. With slight difficultly, he scooped up some broth and took a tentative sip.
It was delicious.
Not that Vanitas had ever eaten anything similar to compare it to, but still. He began eating with gusto, barely pausing to glance at Aqua. She looked relieved. What, was she worried her cooking wasn't up to par? Sure, he preferred sweet foods, but right now he was just glad to be eating something he hadn't either stolen or conjured himself, especially when it tasted as good as this.
Vanitas realized he was smiling. An actual proper smile, rather than a smirk or one of his feral grins. It felt… good. Strange, but good.
Maybe she had poisoned him after all.
Unnerved, he turned towards her. "What did you do to me? I feel… different."
"I used a Curaga spell on you. It's quite a bit stronger than most healing magic, so you might be feeling some side effects, giddiness, that sort of thing. It should go away in an hour or two," she explained.
"So this is what real healing magic feels like." Vanitas flexed his fingers. Potions tasted bitter and gross, and his Vile Phials always made him nauseous. He remembered the thorns tearing through his back, but now he felt fine. Better than fine. "Way better than a Hi-Potion."
Aqua blinked in surprise. "You've never used a Cure spell?"
"Xehanort never taught me. He didn't think it was necessary," he shrugged.
"He sent you into battle without bothering to teach you healing magic?!" she asked incredulously.
"Hey, I can take care of myself. I'm not a helpless loser like Ventus," he said casually. It was strange, usually he would've snapped at her for doubting his skill. "Besides, lessons don't stick if you can't feel pain." That's what Xehanort had always said, anyway.
Aqua was giving him that look again, the one dangerously close to pity. If he hadn't known better, he would think that she actually cared about him, which was impossible. Wasn't it?
Vanitas was suddenly very much aware of the warm food in front of him. Aqua had said she'd made it herself. Why would she spend time actually cooking, instead of just grabbing something from the pantry? Xehanort would've never done something like this. In fact…
"He didn't think I needed to eat, either," he mused absentmindedly, then mentally kicked himself. Damn, the Curaga was making him lightheaded. Or maybe that was the blood loss.
"Xehanort didn't feed you?" Aqua asked, aghast. Her look of mild pity had turned to full-blown concern.
Vanitas didn't trust himself to answer that question, but he knew he wanted her to stop looking at him like that. He pointedly turned away from her and continued eating in silence.
The truth was, Xehanort had never fed him. It was a toss-up as to whether his Master had truly believed he didn't require sustenance, or if he just hadn't cared. Either way, Vanitas's stubborn pride had prevented him from asking for help. He would've starved to death in his first week of life if the Hunger hadn't manifested as Prize Pods. Those pacifistic Unversed he had kept hidden from Xehanort as to not show his weakness.
But Vanitas didn't care to tell Aqua all that. Not now, not ever. It was in the past; nothing could change it.
All too soon, his spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl. Setting the silverware on the tray, Vanitas sank back into the pillows and sighed, running a hand through his hair. None of this made any sense. Why was Aqua doing this for him? Vanitas couldn't see himself serving her soup in bed. If their roles had been reversed, he'd probably have just shoved a Hi-Potion down her throat and called it good enough. Hell, he'd already done that with a Vile Phial.
Perhaps he was looking a little too forlornly at his bowl because Aqua offered to get him a second helping. She got up to leave, taking the empty bowl with her. Maybe it was the Curaga talking, but Vanitas couldn't keep his question bottled up.
"Why are you helping me?" he asked. "What's the catch?"
She paused at the doorway and glanced over her shoulder with a slight frown. "Do I need a reason to help people?"
"Yes." Especially when the 'person' she was helping was him. "I don't get it. Why didn't you just let me die?" He had been at her mercy on the cliffside, reduced to pathetically pleading for his life. It would've been in her best interest to let him fall.
Aqua sighed. "I suppose I could ask you the same question."
He blinked. She didn't wait for him to answer. Vanitas watched her retreating form as he pondered her response. He didn't need to merge with her anymore, so why had he saved her?
Days prior, he had rescued Aqua from the Dark Thorn in the ballroom, but that had been at low personal risk. Vanitas would never admit it to her, but she had already whittled the bestial Heartless's defensives down tremendously by the time he had arrived. In fact, if she hadn't been on the verge of collapse, he would've just let her deal with it on her own.
Was she being nice out of some misguided sense of gratitude? Or maybe…
Vanitas picked up his helmet and stared at his reflection. Was it the face? Was having a human face what was making Aqua treat him so nicely? If she thought she saw similarities to Ventus —or worse, Sora— then she might simply be letting her longing for her friends cloud her better judgement.
That may explain her kindness towards him, but not his towards her.
He ran his fingers over the mask's glassy surface, summoning wispy tendrils of Darkness to repair the scratches that'd been inflicted by the thorns. Aqua's screams had drawn his attention, and in a rush of adrenaline and panic he had charged out to rescue her. The vines had been tearing him apart, yet despite the pain Vanitas had pressed onwards. Regardless of how much he hated Aqua, he hadn't wanted to lose her.
Was the fear of being alone really strong enough to be worth risking his life? If it had been anyone else —well, perhaps besides Ventus— he would've said no. But Aqua… His interest in her had started long before the Dark World.
He traced where her fingertips had brushed his helmet before, in Radiant Garden. It had been the first time he'd ever been touched by a human being, and he had laughed out of shock. That she was brave —or stupid— enough to approach him had shocked him too. She had wanted to know what he looked like.
If he had let her, if she had seen his face, would she have still thought he was a monster back then? Would she have still called him a freak?
Did it matter?
Vanitas had intended to kill Aqua in Radiant Garden, on Master Xehanort's orders. However, he'd been too impressed by her strength to kill her. He had known he was disobeying Xehanort by keeping her alive, but had thought if the plan with Ventus fell through, Aqua could serve as a suitable replacement. At least, that was what Vanitas had convinced himself at the time. He wondered now if that had simply been an excuse to spare her.
The truth was, Aqua had stirred something deep within him, awakened some new emotion he couldn't identify. It was a strange desire, not unlike Hunger, but one he'd known no way of satiating. It had been the touch of her Light and the strength of her heart that had triggered it. Others' Lights simply hadn't compared to hers, not even Cinderella's. Ventus's Light was pure, warm, and familiar, but had been too weak to forge the X-Blade. Eraqus's Light had been a sharp, sterile scent that stung his nose even at a distance. But Aqua…
Aqua's Light was a blazing fire in his veins that seared his lungs and pierced burning needles through his heart, but beneath all that was something so bright and beautiful that it was worth the pain; an irresistible sweet scent like Rose Honey and Cotton Cloudcandy, Crystal Sugar and Rainbow Syrup, with just a hint of Cherryberry topped off with Whipped Dream.
It had been intoxicating, and Vanitas had craved it like nothing short of the X-Blade.
Vanitas had asked Master Xehanort to help him understand the unfamiliar desire, but the old man had just laughed and told him not to harbor those kind of feelings if he could help it. Xehanort had then commanded Vanitas to make sure that he killed Aqua the next time they met, lest the mysterious emotion distract him from his mission.
Well, his mission was long over. He'd had the chance to kill her in Neverland when she was unconscious and vulnerable. By that point Ventus had been strong enough to forge the X-Blade; Aqua wasn't needed as a backup. But the strange Hunger had stirred then, too. With it had been the desire to see Aqua hone her skills and grow more powerful; the stronger she became, the sweeter her Light's flavor.
She had become his weakness.
Vanitas should've killed her on that offense alone, but then he would have never tasted that sweet Light again. Suffice to say, he hadn't obeyed orders then, either. If he had, then the X-Blade wouldn't have been broken and he wouldn't be trapped in the Realm of Darkness. He had failed.
And yet…
Lying here in a soft bed after a warm meal, bathed in Aqua's sweet scent, Vanitas didn't quite feel like a failure.
It seemed now that while Aqua's Light shone as bright as ever, both its painful and addictive qualities had lessened over time. Perhaps her constant close proximity had acclimated him to her scent. Nevertheless, the Hunger still lingered.
If her Light was no longer the source of the unidentifiable emotion, then what was?
…Maybe that was a question for another day.
Vanitas's mask was now fully repaired, the dark glass as shiny and new as the day he had been born. He turned it in his hands and contemplated his reflection once again.
Misplaced gratitude, or a human face…? Whatever Aqua's reason for saving his life, misguided or not, he would take it. As for his saving her…
Perhaps a small part of him —the part that had defied Xehanort in the first place— still wanted to keep her around.
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It hadn't fully sunk in yet. She and Vanitas had almost died. Two hours ago, Aqua had thought he was trying to kill her. Two hours ago, she hadn't even known he had a face. Yet here she was, fetching soup for him like he was Ven sick in bed with chocobo pox. Maybe it was the adrenaline.
She chased a curious Shadow away from the soup pot and ladled more into the bowl, running a towel over the messy edges. Aqua was shocked Vanitas liked her soup so much, or at least he seemed to. He'd certainly wolfed it down fast enough. It was just a simple broth, thrown together from what random ingredients she'd found in the pantry. She hadn't had time to go searching for a cookbook.
Vanitas's Curaga high wouldn't last long, and its side-effects were less and less potent the more the spell was used, but it was nice to see him actually smile for once. With the mask, Aqua hadn't truly believed that Vanitas and Ventus could've come from the same person. But seeing him without it, she had to admit there were similarities. Once she got past the mess of dark spiky hair that reminded her so much of Sora, she could see how similar he looked to Ventus. Of course, Sora was already the spitting image of Ven, so of course Vanitas would look nearly identical to both.
Though she had seen his face earlier, it'd been twisted by confusion and anger, so different from how peaceful Vanitas had looked as he slept. His face was youthfully round, his large golden eyes hidden behind heavy lids and thick lashes. The cut on his cheek had faded with her Curaga spell, leaving no mark on the delicate pale skin that looked completely untouched by sunlight…
Aqua shook herself. Maybe she was on a bit of a Curaga high, too. Vanitas had reminded her of Ventus's early days in the Land of Departure, when he had slept for so long that she feared he would never wake. She had fed Ven in bed, too. Spongecake was the first thing she'd gotten him to eat. A part of her warned against becoming too attached to Vanitas; he wasn't a substitute for Ven. He was everything Ventus wasn't, and vice versa. Night and day. Darkness and Light. The Darkness Xehanort had cut out of Ventus's heart.
Xehanort. The more Aqua learned of the old Master, the more she hated him. It wasn't enough that he had corrupted Terra and hurt Ven; he couldn't even treat his own apprentice with a modicum of common decency. Xehanort had starved Vanitas, and his reasons for not teaching him healing magic sounded more than a little nefarious.
'Lessons don't stick if you can't feel pain.'
What kind of lesson required pain to be remembered?
Aqua returned to the bedroom to find Vanitas staring intently at his mask. His face had regained a little color, though he still remained deathly pale compared to her. He looked up as she entered and set the mask aside. Would he keep wearing it even though she'd already seen his face? Aqua hoped not. He looked much better without it. Friendlier; more human.
Vanitas accepted the soup bowl with both hands; Aqua was careful to avoid touching his fingers. For whatever reason he didn't seem to like being touched. As she watched him eat, Aqua considered everything Vanitas had done the past five days. Yes, he had attacked and insulted her at almost every opportunity, but he'd also saved her from the vines and the giant Heartless in the ballroom. Both times Vanitas could've let her die, but chose not to, even at great personal risk. And then there was the other time she had been at his mercy, and yet he had spared her life…
"Vanitas, when we fought in Neverland, there was something I never quite understood. After our duel, I collapsed. But when I woke up, you were gone. So why…?"
Vanitas slowly set down his spoon. "You mean, why didn't I kill you?"
Aqua nodded.
"…I don't think I ever really wanted to kill you." He stared into his soup bowl. "Hurt you, make you suffer, sure."
"That… doesn't exactly make me feel better, Vanitas."
"It should," he said sharply. "Xehanort wanted you dead. He thought you'd get in the way of his plans; he was right, of course. Keeping you alive was my choice, not his."
She frowned. "It sure seemed like you were trying to kill me in the Keyblade Graveyard."
"Trust me, I hesitated there, too," he rubbed the back of his neck, still not meeting her eyes. "Although, you were kinda unconscious for that part. I was actually kinda relieved when Ventus stood up to fight. The idiot wanted to protect you."
Aqua felt mixed emotions from that. Unsureness of Vanitas's truthfulness, irritation at remembering how he had literally stabbed her in the back, but mostly she felt proud of Ven for being so brave.
But something still didn't make any sense. "If I wasn't a part of Xehanort's plan, then why did you want me as a 'backup'?" She suddenly remembered he had called her that in Radiant Garden, the first time they'd met. He'd also said it a few days ago, in the kitchen.
A shadow passed over his face. "…I told you before that the X-Blade could only be forged by clashing equal powers of pure Darkness and Light," Vanitas said with reluctance.
Aqua froze as a feeling of dread crept over her.
He can't mean…
"So I figured if Ventus couldn't get strong enough in time, then maybe, since you had already proved so much stronger than I'd expected, you would be a better candidate."
Aqua felt as if she had been doused with ice water. Vanitas wanted to possess her like he had Ventus? Is that why he had saved her? He still needed her to forge the X-Blade?
Vanitas must've sensed her alarm, because he quickly met her gaze and said, "Don't worry, I don't plan on doing that now. Besides, your heart isn't even pure Light. No one's is, except for Ventus and the Princesses. At the time I thought you'd be close enough; your Light is very strong. But if me and Ventus couldn't do it, well…"
Aqua was relieved to hear that, but couldn't help her own morbid curiosity. "If we did merge, would it be like what happened to Ven?" she asked, shuddering at the memory of Ventus with those piercing yellow eyes and a psychotic grin spread across his face, his voice twisted in a demonic chorus…
"That union was incomplete." Vanitas looked away again. "Honestly, I'm not sure what would happen if me and you became one, if that's even possible. Maybe our hearts would reject each other. Maybe our personalities would merge. Maybe I'd finally become whole…"
"You want to be… whole?" she asked slowly.
Vanitas frowned, looking more and more uncomfortable. "I told you. Me and Ventus are each half a heart. As in, our heart was literally torn in two. Ventus was lucky that Sor— someone healed him, but as for me…" He sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to know what it felt like. What it still feels like."
Vanitas was right of course; Aqua didn't have any idea what it was like to have one's heart torn apart. It sounded more dreadful than she wanted to imagine. But she did want to understand, even just a little.
"What does it feel like?" she whispered.
The moment stretched on, Vanitas clenching his hands into tight fists. Finally he answered, choking on the words. "Pure agony, every moment that I exist."
He's… in pain? All the time?
"Vanitas…" She felt as if her own heart might break in two.
"I want the pain to stop…" His golden eyes met hers, and she swore he was on the verge of tears. "But I don't wanna disappear. That's why I need the other half of my heart. Do you understand?"
Disappear? Did he mean, that without Ventus, the only other option he had to escape his pain was… to die? Her own eyes started to moisten. In a way, she had caused this. By destroying the X-Blade, Aqua had interrupted Ventus and Vanitas's union. But she couldn't regret her actions now. If Vanitas had succeeded in merging with Ventus, then her best friend would be gone forever, rather than just sleeping. Merging her own heart with Vanitas was also out of the question. She was her own person, as was he. An idea struck her.
"Maybe the reason your merge failed is because you and Ventus have become separate people," she said thoughtfully. "You and Ven are very different, and even though you used to be the same person, you aren't anymore. So maybe you should give yourself the chance to be your own person."
Vanitas's face took on a pleading, lost look. "You really think I can go on being just half a heart forever?" He sounded so desperate.
"I can't be your Light, Vanitas," Aqua said gently. "And neither can Ven. But if there's any other way I can help ease your pain, will you let me?" She didn't know exactly what she could do, but she would try her best to think of something.
Vanitas stared at her, eyes wide with disbelief. "Shit, you really are serious about helping me, aren't you. I don't get it. I've hurt you. I'm part of the reason why your friends are gone. So why…?"
Everything he said was true, but it didn't deter Aqua from her decision. "Because, I don't want you to disappear, either. You risked your life to save me, even though you didn't have to." For the first time, she smiled at him. "Vanitas… thank you."
Several emotions flitted across his face in rapid succession. For a second, she thought he would reject her gratitude, but his expression finally settled on a shy, lopsided smile. An odd look on his face to be sure, but not an unwelcome one.
"Also, I never thanked you properly for saving me from that giant Heartless," she said.
He tilted his head. "The Dark Thorn? That was nothing."
"Not to me." Aqua's smile broke out into a grin. "The least I could do is teach you some proper healing magic, so you won't ask me to —ahem— 'drag your sorry butt around the next time you collapse'."
Vanitas blinked. "Y-yeah. Sure," he said, picking up the spoon again. After he finished off the rest of the soup, Vanitas eyed her thoughtfully. "You know, you should really get out of those clothes."
"E-excuse me?" she squeaked.
"I mean, unless you wanna run around wearing tattered rags all day."
Aqua looked down at herself and realized what he meant. Her outfit really was in shreds. Bloodstained, too. "R-right, I'll go do that…" She got up to leave, taking the tray.
"Hey, Aqua?"
"Yes?"
"…I guess you're not a complete idiot, after all."
She raised an eyebrow. "That's your idea of a compliment?"
Vanitas shrugged and gave her a mischievous smirk. "I don't have a lot of experience giving them out."
Aqua shook her head, but she was still smiling.
Not a complete idiot, huh?
Well. It was a start.
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Aqua… had thanked him.
No one had ever thanked him before. There was a fascinating emotion building in Vanitas's chest, one he had never experienced. It was so feather-light and warm… Part of him wished he could let it out to see what kind of Unversed took shape, but it was impossible to create the Dark creatures out of positive emotions. Besides, he'd rather keep the feeling inside, snug within his chest for as long as he could.
Despite the wonderful emotion, Vanitas was still suspicious. For some incomprehensible reason Aqua wanted to help him beyond what she'd already done. If she had only saved him in exchange for saving her, then why would she want to do that? Did she hope to gain something in return, have him owe her some kind of favor?
He snorted. Aqua wasn't that crafty, was she? Maybe she really was just that selfless. It was a foolish notion, selflessness; but it seemed inherent to Wielders of Light.
Vanitas got up to stretch his legs. Stopping by the window, he stared out into the darkness. The Curaga was finally working its way out of his system, and it left his thoughts troubled. What Aqua had said, about him and Ventus not just being the separated halves of a single heart anymore, but rather two different people altogether…
While Vanitas had to admit there was a possibility that he and Ventus had become so different as to be incompatible, it wasn't an idea he wanted to entertain. Sure, it was he who had said he and Ventus were opposites, but it was like being opposite sides of a coin. The halves were supposed to fit together.
No, the reason they couldn't merge was because of the blockage, because of Sora.
Once Vanitas returned to the Realm of Light, he could 'remove' that problem, and afterwards… Well, he hadn't planned that far ahead.
There was a larger problem, however; the location of Ventus. Aqua knew where he was, but that was information she wouldn't be so eager to divulge. She said she wanted to help him, but what else could Aqua possibly do? Even if she offered her heart to him willingly, he knew it wouldn't be enough.
Idiot. Why would she help you? You're on your own. That's the way it's meant to be.
Merging would only be successful with Ventus, and only once Sora was gone. Aqua wouldn't help him. Not with this. Vanitas had no way of reaching the Realm of Light, and no way of finding Ventus.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
The last of the Curaga slipped away, leaving him numb.
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Aqua searched through the wardrobe for a clean outfit, but was having little luck finding suitable attire. Most of the women's clothing consisted of fancy dresses. Would she be able to fight properly in them? Aqua did a double-take as she pulled out a headband with two large black circles complete with a red-and-white polkadot bow, which bore a uncanny resemblance to Queen Minnie's ears. How did this even get here…?
She finally settled on keeping most of her original outfit, trading her unsalvageable sleeves for a pair of white fingerless gloves, exchanging her bloodstained fabric wraps for a short blue skirt complete with a white belt, and replacing her tattered black stockings with a fresh pair. Discarding the ruined pieces of clothing into a wastebasket, Aqua found herself sad to see them go. She had designed and sewed most of her outfit herself.
Aqua readjusted the pink chest straps over her black corset, her silver pendant glittering in the candlelight. She traced across the hairline fracture Vanitas's Keyblade had caused. Despite all the evils he'd committed, she didn't regret saving him. The look on his face, that mixture of bewilderment and wonder, the unsure yet genuine smile… It was as if no one had ever shown him kindness in his entire life. Given who had raised him, that unfortunately wasn't surprising.
Well then, I guess I'll just have to be the first one.
The next morning, Aqua was determined to teach Vanitas Curaga, or at least a simple Cure spell. He needed to be able to heal himself, especially if she were to become indisposed. Aqua decided the courtyard was as good a place as any. She still needed to clean the glass and blood out of the ballroom where his mask had shattered, and honestly being attacked twice in that room had left her a little wary.
Aqua sent a Fire spell across the chasm towards Castle Town. It illuminated the area enough for her to see that the red vines had stayed on their side of the pit, and while they did twitch a little where the Fire came near them, they otherwise remained still.
It was funny, Aqua thought. After the incident with the vines, the tension between her and Vanitas —which had grown so thick the last few days— had disappeared. The giddiness she'd sensed from him had faded too, but he was being noticeably less rude and though he was now wearing his helmet, he had removed the visor so she could see his face.
Vanitas now sat on the stone edge of the pool in the courtyard, watching her warily as she carefully set a kitchen knife down between them. Ready to begin the magic lesson, Aqua easily slipped into what Ven called her 'teacher voice'.
"Healing magic, including spells such as Curaga and Esuna, is cast from Light and positivity. As such—"
"Well of course I can't use Cure, then!" Vanitas interrupted loudly. "I don't have any Light."
"Vanitas, pay attention. I'm sure you can cast it without Light." Honestly she wasn't sure that was true, but it wouldn't hurt to have him try. Aqua cleared her throat. "…As such, you need to focus on positive emotions while spell-casting. This can be difficult in the heat of battle, so you should practice outside of combat to prepare yourself. To learn Cure, it's easiest to have an injury to focus on healing."
Vanitas swiftly scooped up the knife. For one terrifying second, Aqua thought he was going to stab her, but instead he sliced it across his own palm.
"What are you doing?!" she gasped in horror.
He raised an eyebrow. "Would you rather I break a finger?"
"No!"
What in the Worlds is wrong with him?!
"That's not what I meant! You could cause permanent nerve damage doing that!" She reached towards his bloody hand but he growled and pulled away, brandishing the knife.
Right, no touching…
Aqua held up her hands in a placative gesture. "Vanitas," she said as calmly as she could manage, eyeing the knife. "I'm not going to touch you; just put the knife down."
His eyes narrowed suspiciously before he flipped it over and handed it to her handle-first.
Aqua took it gingerly. "Thank you. May I cast Cure on you now?"
Vanitas nodded.
She did so, the twinkling green energy flowing from her hand to envelop his body. Casting Cure over him in general wouldn't be as effective as applying the spell directly to the wound, but she was learning it was best to keep her distance.
Quickly washing off the knife in the pool, Aqua took a calming breath and continued the lesson. "As I was saying, the best way is to have a small injury to focus on healing." She brought up the knife and pricked the end of her finger, ignoring the faint sting as she squeezed out a tiny drop of blood. "Here, try casting Cure on me."
After a moment's hesitation, Vanitas hovered his hand above hers and squeezed his eyes shut— perhaps a little too tightly.
"You're concentrating too much. Don't try to chase down the magic. Rather, let the magic come to you," Aqua explained.
"How the hell does that make any sense?" he scowled, eyes still closed. "I can't use magic if I'm not trying, now can I?"
"I mean, just let it flow freely."
Vanitas clenched and unclenched his hand, but nothing happened. Not even sparks. He sighed in frustration and opened his eyes. "This is stupid."
"Vanitas, if you want to use Cure, you need to focus more on positivity."
"If you haven't noticed, id— Aqua, I'm a heart of pure Darkness. I don't have any positivity."
She ignored his near-insult. "Even though you don't have any Light, you must be positive about something, right?"
"I'm positive this is stupid."
Aqua sighed. She needed a different approach. "Try using happy memories. That helped me learn Cure."
"What happy memories?" Vanitas scoffed.
"Uh, well…" She didn't know him well enough to give examples. Although, they were both Wielders… "How about when you first summoned your Keyblade?"
"My Keyblade…?"
"Yes!" Aqua smiled. "Were you excited? Joyful?"
He frowned as his eyes turned distant. "I was… scared. And… confused."
Her smile faltered. "W-why…?"
"It was right after Ventus and I were split."
"Oh." She didn't know what to say to that. Did Vanitas really not have any happy memories?
Vanitas continued to concentrate on the spell, but was becoming visibly irritated. "This is hopeless!" he finally shouted, tearing at his hair. A gaggle of Shoegazers hopped out of him and started stomping around.
Aqua jumped up and readied Master Keeper, but the red boot-shaped Unversed were ignoring her. "Vanitas! You can't keep flying off the handle every time something doesn't go your way!" she shouted.
"Maybe we should just spar instead." He summoned his Keyblade.
Aqua stepped back, tightening her grip on Master Keeper. "Calm down! We can't just spar whenever you want. In fact, that was something I wanted to discuss with you. We need to lay down some ground rules."
"What rules?" he snapped.
"You need to warn me the next time you want to spar, rather than just attacking me out of the blue."
"I'd lose the element of surprise."
It was Aqua's turn to scowl. "You'd lose your head. Besides, it's not fair."
"I never said I fought fair," he smirked. "So, can we spar now?"
"No," she said firmly.
"Why not?" Vanitas frowned. "I thought you were supposed to be helping me. It would help me to spar."
"Why?"
"It's… fun," he mumbled with a slight flush.
"Well, it wasn't fun for me." Far from it. "I'm telling you no, and that's final."
Vanitas glared at her. "Fine, whatever." He dismissed his Keyblade.
Once she was sure he had settled down, Aqua unsummoned Master Keeper. "Let's just go back to practicing Cure."
"Forget it, Aqua," he shook his head. "I can't do it. I wasn't designed to use Light magic any more than you can use Dark. The Light's never listened to me before; why would it start now?"
Aqua frowned. Maybe it was impossible for Vanitas to use Light magic. Still, it wouldn't do for her to be a pessimist. "…It's okay to not succeed on your first try. Terra took forever to—"
"Oh, great. I'm as good as Terra. Like that's not humiliating," he interrupted hotly. A Red Hot Chili materialized behind him and tumbled into the pool, resulting in hot steam and boiling water as the Unversed disintegrated. Vanitas hissed and grit his teeth. Had some of the hot water splashed on him?
"Are you alright?" Aqua asked.
"Do I look alright to you?!" he spat.
Aqua missed giddy Vanitas already. She considered casting Curaga on him just to calm him down, but shot him a withering look of disappointment instead. His eyes widened a fraction before he lowered his gaze and mumbled something that sounded like 'I didn't mean to yell'.
They might have to work on apologies later.
"Let me see where you got hurt," she insisted gently.
Vanitas blinked at her like he didn't understand. "It's not the kinda injury you can heal."
Did it have something to do with the pain in his heart? Aqua supposed she wouldn't have noticed him reacting to any sort of chronic pain seeing as he wore that mask all the time. 'Pure agony' was how Vanitas had described the state of his heart.
Aqua wasn't even sure she had enough positivity for a Cure spell, now.
"Just help me clean up these idiots," Vanitas sighed, standing up from the pool's edge. He stomped down hard on a Shoegazer's toe, pinning it under his boot. The Unversed squealed and struggled, far too much like a trapped animal for Aqua's taste. She once again found herself wondering if Dark creatures could feel pain.
Vanitas swung his Keyblade down on the Unversed, but it blocked his attack with its sharp horns. Growling, Vanitas pushed harder against the Shoegazer, snapping its horns and sinking his Keyblade between its eyes. He twisted the Keyblade and wrenched it free, spraying black ichor across the ground as the Unversed melted.
"Is it okay for you to kill them like that?" Aqua asked worriedly. "I mean, you created them from your emotions…"
"Why do you care?" he scowled. "They're just monsters."
"I don't know, it just seems… cruel."
Vanitas's expression darkened. "You don't know the first thing about cruelty."
"…No, I suppose I don't," she said quietly.
Aqua set to work clearing out the Shoegazers, but her mind still wandered. Something about Vanitas's callous torture of the Unversed made Aqua uneasy. Of course, he knew more about them than she did. Maybe they really couldn't feel pain. Even so, she felt like she was getting a clearer picture of Vanitas's mind, and it wasn't pretty.
Ventus had been in a coma for a long time when he first arrived at the Land of Departure, and had been like a zombie for weeks after he first woke up. Had Vanitas been the same way, after the split? At least Ven had had her, Terra, and Master Eraqus to help him. Xehanort, who wouldn't even feed Vanitas, likely wouldn't have helped him much at all. Was Vanitas's penchant for casual violence —both towards himself and those around him— something inherent to his Dark nature? Or had it been taught by Xehanort, whether purposefully or through neglect? Aqua didn't know what to think.
Aqua pierced through the last Shoegazer's defenses, dispatching the Unversed as quickly as possible. She and Vanitas were alone in the courtyard once again.
"I think I'll stick to Vile Phials," he sighed, flopping down on the pool's stone edge.
I guess the lesson is over, then…
"I'm going to go make lunch," she informed him. "Do you… want to help?"
Vanitas shot her a forlorn look and shook his head.
Aqua tried to hide her disappointment; she hadn't really expected him to accept her offer, anyway. "Well, alright then. I'll see you later."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Vanitas remained seated on the pool's edge for a while. The concern Aqua had shown over the death of his Red Hot Chili was the exact reason why he wore a mask; Vanitas knew he should've kept his visor on. If she knew his weakness, that killing the Unversed hurt him, she might one day turn that knowledge against him.
She thinks you're pathetic.
Anger flared in his chest. Aqua was just teaching him healing magic to show him what he could never have, probably just to laugh behind his back. Her whole tone had been condescending. What did she know? She was supposed to be the great Keyblade Master, yet she couldn't even teach the simplest of spells. This was her fault, not his. Aqua was the weak one.
The oily feeling of Contempt produced a chittering Spiderchest which shook and danced in front of him. Vanitas glowered at the Unversed and it scuttled off on its awkward three-legged gait to find somewhere to hide. Maybe it would bite Aqua's hand off. That would serve her right.
Vanitas grimaced. The mental image of Aqua permanently disfigured wasn't nearly as amusing as he'd thought it would be. Maybe he should've killed that Unversed, after all. At least Aqua knew better than to mess with oversized blue treasure chests.
He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and took a steadying breath. Constant mood swings were useful when he'd been required to produce a large variety of Unversed. Now they just made him feel sick and confused.
Aqua hadn't been laughing at his failure, and she definitely wasn't weak. She'd given him enough ass-kickings for that lesson to sink in. Vanitas almost wished she had been mocking him; that he could understand. No, she had been disappointed in him. Aqua thought he was too much of a loser to learn how to heal himself properly, since he couldn't use Light magic like she could. What could he say; unlike her, he was no magical prodigy.
Vanitas stood up and walked to the edge of the cliffside. Not much remained past the courtyard gate. The path back to Castle Town had been swallowed up into the chasm thanks to the vines. He was suddenly struck by how Hopeless their situation really was. There was no way back to Castle Town nor the Realm of Light. It was quite possible that he and Aqua would spend the rest of their lives in the Castle of Dreams.
Moping probably wouldn't make casting Cure any easier, however. He let the emotion out, just so he wouldn't have to feel it. A Blue Sea Salt wobbled to life in a burst of ice magic that quite literally chilled him to the bone. Shivering, Vanitas considered the pot-shaped Unversed as it hovered in the air, its eerie blue light casting shadows on the grass. Elemental pot-shaped Unversed could levitate a meter or two off the ground, but weren't capable of true flight. If they fell far or fast enough that they couldn't right themselves, they would smash against the ground.
He grabbed the Sea Salt around the middle, ignoring its almost burning coldness, and tossed it down the chasm. The blue light became little more than a twinkling star as it fell deeper and deeper until it finally disappeared into the darkness. Vanitas listened closely for the sound of it smashing —or what was more likely— the pain of it as it died, but nothing happened. Either the Unversed had righted itself, or the pit was very, very deep, if not completely bottomless.
How the hell are we supposed to get out of here?
…Wait a second, 'we'?
Vanitas startled himself, realizing that he was including Aqua in his thoughts of escape.
He looked at his palm where Aqua had healed him. The Dark Suit's fabric had already stitched over the area. His hand felt tingly, not as good as it had from the Curaga, but still much better than his Vile Phials' Dark healing magic. Vanitas wanted that good feeling back, the warmth Aqua's Curaga spell had given him. If he was going to prove to her that he wasn't weak, that he was better than her stupid friends, Vanitas would have to practice.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Half an hour and several failed attempts at Cure later, the rumbling in his stomach finally prompted Vanitas to venture to the kitchen. He had taken to avoiding Aqua whenever he went there to eat on account of not wanting to show her his face, but it was a little late for that now.
Approaching the kitchen, Vanitas could hear a loud banging and rattling coming from inside. It sounded as if the Heartless were having a jamboree. He walked in to find Aqua busily rooting through cabinets. A cookbook was splayed out on the counter and something was sizzling in a pan on the stovetop.
"Is there any soup left?" he asked.
"Hmm?" Aqua seemed distracted. "Oh, it's in the icebox. But I need the stove."
Vanitas looked at the large amount of ingredients she had piled on the kitchen counter. Some were already chopped and mixed into bowls. "You're gonna eat all this by yourself?"
"It's for both of us. I figured you might enjoy a home-cooked meal since no one's…" She trailed off and cleared her throat. "We haven't shared a single meal together."
Was this because he'd told her Xehanort hadn't fed him? He knew he should've kept his big mouth shut. "I told you, I can take care of myself."
"It's okay to have help sometimes," Aqua said, giving the pan a stir. "Speaking of which, can you set the table for me? The big one, in the dining hall." She waved towards a number of plates and utensils piled on the counter. Vanitas stared dumbly at the pile of silverware. How exactly did she want them? He thought about asking Aqua for help, but no. This was a chance to prove himself.
The dining hall was rather large, though not as big as the ballroom. A long table of about twenty seats sat before a grand fireplace. Vanitas placed everything on the table in what he hoped was a proper arrangement; plates, bowls, knives —he'd noticed Aqua staring at him warily when he picked those up— forks, and a glass of water for each of them.
He returned to the kitchen. Aqua was pouring over the cookbook again. Vanitas moved in for a closer look. "I've never seen anyone cook before. So people really eat all these different foods?" He had to admit, he was rather curious.
"What do you usually eat?" Aqua asked.
"Prize Pod food," he answered. Vanitas had a particular taste for Rich Marshmallows when he could get them.
She frowned. "That doesn't sound very nutritious."
What was she, his mom? "I eat other things occasionally. You wouldn't believe how many people leave their kitchen windows unlocked."
"You shouldn't steal. It's wrong," Aqua chided.
Vanitas actually laughed at that. "Stealing? Oh, you mean like what you're doing right now?" He smirked at the irony.
"...That's different."
"Oh, please. Just admit it. Everyone does what they have to to survive. Lie, steal, kill. Even animals do it."
When Vanitas was older, and Master Xehanort was in a good mood, he would take Vanitas to different Worlds to teach him about the cruelty of nature. He'd called it proof that Darkness was intrinsic to all Worlds. Vanitas couldn't have cared less about Xehanort's pedantries, but he had gotten a rush from seeing the violence of nature. Hounds tearing foxes to pieces for the sport of their masters; great, terrible lizards devouring each other in a thirsty desert; packs of hyenas giggling as they tore into rotten carcasses while hungry vultures circled above…
"We're not animals," Aqua huffed, bringing him out of his reverie.
Vanitas snorted. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, all of the people who lived here have already had their hearts eaten."
"How in the Worlds is that supposed to make me feel better?!" she asked, appalled. What, had he said something wrong?
"I'm just saying they're not gonna miss a few scraps outta the icebox," he explained in an attempt to placate her. "Plus, we've done nothing but steal this entire time. The food, your new clothes, practically the entire Castle! We've got this whole place to ourselves without any other idiots telling us what we can't do."
Aqua glared at him. Why was she getting so upset? He was just trying to cheer her up.
Talk about unappreciation. Whatever…
"I'm trying to do something nice for you, you know," Aqua sighed.
Vanitas blinked in surprise. "Why?"
"I just thought it would help if we were a little less antagonistic towards each other. We're going to have to work together to find a way out of here," she said briskly, elbowing past him to reach the oven. "Could you wait in the dining hall? You're hovering."
Vanitas didn't particularly appreciate being kicked out of the kitchen. His irritation didn't last long, however, as Aqua soon brought out steaming pans of food. He peered into them and was greeted with the sight of diced potatoes, a medley of steamed vegetables, and some kind of roasted meat. Everything smelled wonderful. Vanitas couldn't hold in his excitement and grinned broadly. His first meal with another person… It almost made him feel like a real human being.
Aqua chuckled.
"What's so funny?" he asked with mild suspicion.
She hummed thoughtfully. "I just don't think I've ever seen you in such a good mood."
"Huh?" He supposed he did feel good, or at least not bad. "I guess there's a first time for everything," he shrugged. "Although, can you really blame me? I do get to eat all this, right?"
"Well, you have to save some for me," Aqua said with an amused tone as she took her place across from him.
Vanitas reached for the food but stopped at the odd 'ahem' noise she made. Aqua was looking at him expectantly. What, was she wanting him to say something?
"Oh, uh… Th-thanks," he said. The word came out a bit awkwardly but seemed to satisfy her.
"You're welcome," she beamed.
They both dug in, or at least Aqua did. Vanitas was struggling with his fork.
"Do you need some help?" she asked. "Maybe a spoon—"
"I can do it just fine; I'm not a child," he snapped. Vanitas finally had the utensil in a semi-comfortable grip and stabbed into a slice of meat, bringing it to his lips and taking a large bite. "See, I can handle it," he mumbled around the food.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Aqua scolded.
"Why not?"
"It's rude."
"Whatever," Vanitas muttered, though he did swallow before continuing. "When we get back to the Realm of Light, you can thank Master Xehanort for my manners." Or lack there of.
Aqua suddenly went very quiet. "Xehanort wasn't good to you, was he," she whispered.
"That's the understatement of the year," Vanitas snorted. Did she seriously just figure that out? "Ventus idolized him, you know."
That definitely surprised her. Time to poke another hole in her 'Ventus is perfect' theory…
"Oh yes," Vanitas continued. "Back then, Ventus would've done anything to please his Master, except he was too chickenshit when it came to the one task that actually mattered. It's his fault Xehanort had to push the issue."
"But you were more than willing," Aqua said coldly. Looks like he'd struck a nerve.
"That's right. Not that he would've gotten his precious X-Blade from me, either," he smirked.
Her eyes widened. "Wait— You never intended on giving Xehanort the X-Blade, did you."
"Of course not." Vanitas rolled his eyes. "You act as though I actually liked the old bastard. No…" His tone turned venomous. "I wanted to fucking kill him."
Aqua stared at him open-mouthed before sighing and closing her eyes. "Oh, Vanitas… Why didn't you just run away? Surely you knew Xehanort was only using you." Funny. It almost sounded as if she cared.
"Of course I knew that, but what else was I supposed to do? It was kinda hard to escape without Dark Corridors or a Keyblade Glider, and he only taught me the former later on. Besides, Xehanort would've found me eventually. All he'd have to do is follow the trail of Unversed."
She seemed stumped by that.
"What other choice did I have?" Vanitas continued. "Xehanort offered salvation, the solution to making me whole. He was the only person in all the Worlds who knew of my existence, and if I'd revealed myself to you and your friends, you would've killed me in an instant. Light and Darkness don't mix."
Aqua bit her lip. "But… what about the two of us? What about right now?"
He blinked slowly and tilted his head. "Right now we're just surviving together. Once we get out of here, we'll just go right back to fighting each other." Especially considering what he was going to do to Ventus.
"You really think that?" She almost sounded… hurt.
"That's just how it is," Vanitas shrugged.
They continued eating in silence, or at least he did. Aqua just stared at her half-finished plate.
"Vanitas, I…"
"Yeah?"
"…Never mind," she sighed. "I already checked the perimeter around the gardens before the path collapsed. There's no other way out of the Castle."
"So we really are stuck down here," he said, stabbing his fork into a potato cube perhaps a little too forcefully.
"It seems that way. Those vines reminded me of the ones Maleficent summoned in the Enchanted Dominion."
"That old hag? You think she's down here too?"
Aqua looked worried. "I guess anything's possible…"
"There has to be some way out of here," Vanitas grumbled. He didn't want to fight any Dark fairies if he could help it. Especially not ones who could transform into dragons.
"We should split up and look around the Castle. We'll cover more ground that way," Aqua suggested.
Vanitas considered that. It would be more dangerous to explore individually, but it would be faster. The sooner they left the Realm of Darkness, the better.
"Alright. Let's get to it."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Vanitas sat at the servants' table in the kitchen, looking at nothing in particular and idly picking at the itchy fabric of his Dark Suit. Between searching for ways out of the Castle and practicing Cure, he had become tense and irritated after several wasted days and zero results. Killing Heartless could only do so much to stave off his perpetual boredom.
Aqua walked in carrying a small wooden box. "Do you want to play a board game?" she asked cheerily.
"A bored game? Why would I wanna play something boring?" he asked, glancing over at her.
"No, a board like… this!" Aqua rummaged through the box and pulled out a rectangular game board with a black-and-white checkered pattern that immediately reminded him of Ventus's stupid wristband. His eye twitched.
"Where'd you find that?" he asked.
"Storage closet," she shrugged and dumped the rest of the box's contents onto the table, the many black and white game pieces rolling over the surface. "The Master taught Terra, Ven, and I how to play shogi, but we always found Command Board much more fun. It's too bad I lost my copy somewhere down here. I'm not exactly sure how to play chess," Aqua said, examining an equine game piece.
"I could teach you," Vanitas offered. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do.
"What?"
He glanced up, noting her baffled expression. "I can play chess. Want me to teach you?"
"You know how to— Who taught you?" Aqua inquired.
"Who else?"
"Xehanort taught you how to play chess? Why in the Worlds would he do that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he was bored, too," he shrugged. "Said something about 'improving my strategic abilities', whatever that means." Vanitas wasn't too sure how well that had turned out; he always lost.
Vanitas set up the chessboard, explaining each piece to Aqua, its name and how it moved. He lined up all the black pieces on his end and the white ones on hers.
"White moves first, so go ahead," he said.
Aqua picked up a pawn and hesitantly placed it two squares forward.
"Don't worry," Vanitas grinned impishly, placing down his own pawn. "I'll go easy on you."
It became very obvious over the next hour that there was no need to 'go easy' on Aqua.
"Checkmate!" She smiled smugly, placing her queen in front of his trapped king.
Vanitas glared furiously at the offending piece of ivory. How the hell had she beaten him on her first try? Had she lied about never having played before? Or was he really just that stupid? Vanitas could feel the Bitterness and Spite poking up sharply through his skin, and he knew what was coming. Thornbites were some of the most unpleasant Unversed to create; he tried to not make them often. He bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to control himself. It was a painful habit he'd developed to help distract himself from his emotions, but it wasn't working.
Vanitas stood suddenly, disrupting the chessboard. He only made it a few paces to the door before the Thornbite erupted from his spine. It twitched and lashed its thorny vines in Aqua's direction. She jumped up, knocking into the table and summoning her Keyblade.
"What are you doing?!" Her tone was accusing.
"Calm down," he growled, half at her and half at the prickly Unversed. Vanitas took ahold of its head, willing it to stop twitching through the mental connection he shared with all Unversed. He absorbed it into his palm, but one of the thorny whips slashed across his arm. Vanitas hissed as the razor-sharp spikes tore through the fabric of his Dark Suit. Luckily it was only a scratch and would heal quickly.
"Why do you keep doing that?" Aqua asked sharply.
"I'm not doing it on purpose!" he protested. Whatever. It wasn't like she would believe him, anyway.
She still thinks you're a monster.
Vanitas glanced at the disrupted chessboard. Only two pieces remained upright. The black king and white queen stood together, side by side, alone in the middle of the board. Somehow, they looked more like they belonged together than with their fallen compatriots. They completed each other.
What the hell am I thinking?
Vanitas turned on his heel and strode from the kitchen, Aqua calling after him all the while. He only got as far as the foyer before she caught up with him.
"What do you want?" he snapped, sitting on the red steps. "Some kinda award? 'Cause I ain't got nothing except Unversed."
"You just seem really upset," Aqua said, sitting next to him.
He scooted away from her. "Congratulations, you can read facial expressions. Come to gloat at the loser?"
"Just because you lost doesn't make you a loser," she said with a slight frown.
"How the hell does that make any sense?" he scoffed. "I'm an idiot, clearly. I lost to you on your first match."
Aqua's eyes softened. "You're not an idiot, Vanitas. A bit impulsive, maybe. You don't really seem to plan ahead."
Oh Vanitas had a plan. He'd had plenty of plans. Sure, none of them had succeeded so far… yet.
"'Cause I'm an idiot," he insisted.
"No you're not. You're very intelligent."
Vanitas snorted. "Aqua, don't insult me. Your best friend is Terra. That's not a high bar."
That was apparently the wrong thing to say because the pity in Aqua's eyes was immediately replaced by irritation. "You can't keep calling my friends stupid," she said hotly.
"I can and I will," he growled. "They're both idiots, especially Terra! I'm the one who's kept you safe this whole time; they couldn't even save themselves!"
Where the hell had that come from? It's not like he was in some kind of competition with her friends.
Aqua's anger abated as suddenly as it had arrived, but in its place her blue eyes were full of questions; never a good sign. "Why do you hate Terra so much?"
Vanitas blinked. Why did he hate Terra, other than him being slow in every sense of the word? He hadn't even spoken to Xehanort's chosen vessel. It was Terra who Vanitas had used to lure Ventus away from the Land of Departure. The potential of losing his best friend had been Ventus's incentive to leave home. Was friendship really that important? It seemed like a waste of time to Vanitas, to be so invested in another person.
Terra had been the one to comfort Ventus whenever the loser couldn't handle a nightmare. Terra was the one who had given Ventus a special gift, the wooden Keyblade he'd carved with his very own hands, the one which Vanitas had snapped with his. Whenever Ventus was with Terra, a trickle of the older boy's warmth and Light and friendship would make its way into Vanitas's broken heart just long enough for him to taste it, but slip away too quickly to be savored.
Terra had given Ventus what Vanitas could never have.
"…'Cause he's the one Ventus is closest to," he whispered.
Aqua opened and closed her mouth, as if unsure of how to respond. "How would you… know something like that?" she finally asked.
Vanitas didn't like this line of questioning one bit. He'd been frustrated all day, but his irritation was turned more towards himself and his current situation than at Aqua. He was beginning to feel like he had back in the Badlands, when he'd taken his anger out on himself via the Unversed. Vanitas needed a different outlet, but the Heartless had stopped being fun ages ago and he wasn't allowed to fight Aqua anymore.
Since when do you follow her rules?
…Shut up.
Ventus and Terra made for better targets, anyway; they couldn't talk back. Through his other half, Vanitas had vicariously learned how much those two idiots truly didn't deserve Aqua; she was better than them in every conceivable way. Why the hell would she want be friends with those losers… Unless it was just because they were her fellow apprentices, and she'd had no other options?
Vanitas shook his head. "Why are you even friends with those two? You're way smarter than both of them, Aqua. Stronger too. What made you stick around?"
Aqua sighed. "Smarts and strength have nothing to do with it. I'm friends with them because we like each other."
"Really? The only reason I kept you around was 'cause of your strength." Vanitas realized a second too late he'd put his foot in his mouth.
"…Really," she deadpanned, crossing her arms. "I'm pretty sure it's because I kicked your butt."
"You did not!" he objected. Okay, sure; maybe she had given him an ass-kicking he'd never forget, but there was no reason to tell her that.
"Did too," she argued back, a slight smile tugging at her lips.
"Did not!"
"Did too."
"No!"
Aqua laughed, a warm, tinkling sound that echoed across the foyer. It would've been pleasant if it hadn't been directed at him. She was mocking him; laughing just like Xehanort had when he'd watched Vanitas crawl on the dry, cracked ground of the Badlands in a puddle of his own sweat and tears as the horde of never-ending Unversed spawned from his suffering body. Laughing at his agony just to let him know how pathetic and empty and worthless he was…!
His face flushed with embarrassment. "Stop laughing at me!" Vanitas practically screamed. He knew he was being childish but he couldn't stop the Humiliation from flopping out of him as a warren of white Hareraisers.
Aqua shut up when she saw the Unversed. "Vanitas? I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you. You just reminded me of…"
"Let me guess. Terra?" He kicked one of the leporine Unversed, which squeaked in protest.
She frowned. "Ven, actually."
Not that that was much better…
"We would get into playful little arguments like that all the time." Aqua bit her lip. She looked… sad.
"…You really miss those losers, don't you." Vanitas had missed Ventus too, back in the Badlands; between the jealousy and hating his guts. Between wanting him back so badly just to make the pain stop, and wishing to just end himself and Ventus both. Aqua kept wanting him to be something he wasn't; one of her friends or a little islander boy. He shook his head. "I'm not a replacement for your friends."
"…No, you're not," she said distantly. "They're my brothers, and now… they're gone."
What she said about him was true. So why did it hurt?
A week ago Vanitas had reveled in the fact that Ventus and his friends were separated. He thought back to the first time he'd heard Aqua laugh. It had been through Ventus; the feedback Vanitas had received through their connected hearts allowing him to hear whenever Ventus played and laughed with his friends. The jealousy he'd felt towards his other half had dyed Vanitas's heart darker than black.
But he was the one playing games with Aqua now, and somehow he had gotten her to laugh.
Just 'cause you remind her of Ventus, a voice hissed bitterly. And she was laughing at you, not with you.
Vanitas had the sudden desire to make Aqua laugh for real, on his own merits rather than at him or because he reminded her of her stupid friends. How absurd.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Aqua sat at a table in the library, absentmindedly flipping through a book. She was trying to read but the words weren't sinking in; rather, her mind kept slipping back to Vanitas. She'd been thinking about him a lot lately, almost as much as she thought about Terra and Ven. Not surprising, seeing as he was the only other person in the Castle of Dreams.
His display in the courtyard the other day had been one of the most disturbing things she'd ever seen. Why would he want to hurt himself like that, and with such little prompting, too? And the Thornbite earlier today… Did Vanitas not have as much control over the Unversed as he claimed?
Aqua rested her head in her hands. She was afraid to admit she didn't really know how to help him. Master Eraqus had never taught her how to heal an injured heart, much less one so steeped in Darkness. Nothing she'd tried seemed to make Vanitas truly happy… besides feeding him of course, but that would get old, fast. He was bored enough as it was.
So much for positivity.
She closed the book and took out her journal. Aqua had stopped writing in it a few weeks into her journey through the Dark World. There hadn't been much of a point in doing so, as the Realm of Darkness had nothing interesting to offer but rocks and trees and Heartless, but maybe now it would help pass the time. She needed to start keeping track of things.
Aqua flipped through the journal, past her notes on the various Worlds and Unversed she'd encountered in the Realm of Light, to the sticker album in the back. Seeing it brought a smile to her face. The album held a collection of stickers she had won in Disney Town. It depicted herself having a picnic with Queen Minnie and Daisy Duck in a field of flowers, along with the rainbow and firework stickers she'd placed overhead. It was such a colorful, happy scene.
She'd had such a fun time at the Dream Festival, even if she hadn't been able to stay for long. Besides stickers and ice cream, Aqua had helped Horace Horsecollar clear out the Unversed from the Fruitball court. The Dark creatures had been acting strangely, playing games and zooming around the speedway rather than engaging in their usual destructive tendencies. Vanitas had been to that World, obviously. Had he enjoyed the Festival as much as she had?
Aqua's expression lit up as she had an exceptionally wonderful idea.
Thanks for reading!