Chapter 8: A Master's Duty
Aqua awoke the next morning to find the bed empty. She yawned loudly and stretched, briefly glancing around for any sign of Vanitas— but the open door signaled he had already gotten up. Aqua set one foot on the floor and immediately pulled back in surprise as her toes came in contact with something soft and rubbery. She peered over the edge of the bed to find she had stepped on a little quivering puddle. It blinked open two tiny red eyes and stared at her. A Flood? But why was it blue? The Unversed slithered off into the hallway before she could inspect it too closely.
Frowning slightly, Aqua stood and headed towards the bathroom. She had to wade through a pile of clothing to reach the bathroom door— some articles were from last night while others were obviously new additions. A quick look around told her the bathroom was also empty. Her messy, cake-covered outfit from last night was unsurprisingly still on the floor, while Vanitas's mask was surprisingly still on the sink counter.
Aqua once again found herself tempted by her own morbid curiosity. She gingerly picked up the helmet and weighed it in her hands. It was rather heavy, but Vanitas was obviously used to the weight. She studied it, the ugly piece of opaque black glass embedded in jagged grey metal. Why did he wear this, other than to conceal his emotions? Unless… Aqua's mind wandered to the scars covering Vanitas's arms, chest, and back… but none had been on his face. Her grip on the helmet tightened as she grit her teeth together. This hideous thing had been his only protection against Xehanort's torture. And yet he had left it here this morning. Why?
Quickly glancing once more to the open bathroom door to make sure its owner wouldn't catch her in the act, Aqua placed the mask upon her head. She steadied it in place —it really was very heavy— and looked at herself in the mirror. While she could see out of the mask perfectly fine, her vision only a little darkened, she couldn't see her own face at all. It was rather odd —not to mention eerie— wearing the mask herself. How did Vanitas dismiss the visor? Probably through the same Dark bond he had with the rest of his Suit. What was it like, wearing clothing he could control with his mind? Was it possible for Aqua to make some sort of… Light Suit?
Her neck was getting tired from holding up the mask. Aqua pulled it off before she could get caught and placed it back on the sink counter. Washing her face and getting dressed in a lacy white morning gown, Aqua considered the previous night.
Vanitas had accidentally woken her up in the middle of the night. He'd been sweaty and shaking, curled tightly into a ball with his knees drawn close to his chest, all while whimpering her name. He must've been having a nightmare, given the Dark mist that had been swirling behind his back. Could Vanitas summon Unversed in his sleep? That Flood couldn't have come from nowhere, after all. Just how dangerous was it to sleep near him? Or perhaps a better question would be, what had caused his nightmare in the first place?
…She should go check on him to see if he was alright.
As Aqua arrived on the first floor, she smelled something coming from the kitchen— something like food not-quite burning. She walked quickly down the hall.
"Fuck— Shit!" echoed across the foyer.
She picked up the pace.
Aqua paused at the kitchen door and took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself before entering. While still a mess from last evening, the scene before her was… not as bad as she'd been expecting; certainly not as bad as it had been yesterday. Vanitas was standing in front of the oven nursing his thumb in his mouth, with an obviously hot tray of something sitting on the counter along with an open cookbook and various messy bowls. A Yellow Mustard twitched in the air behind him and the strange blue Flood was gallivanting around the room.
…This is what my life has become.
Vanitas noticed her. "M-morning!" he greeted, hastily hiding his hand behind his back.
"What's all this?" Aqua asked —though the answer was obvious— with a tone which was part amused and part concerned.
"…Breakfast," Vanitas answered sheepishly.
"I can see that." Aqua tried to peer around him, but he shuffled to keep his hand hidden. "You're hurt," she pointed out.
"I'm fine," he gave his usual response.
Aqua was having none of that. "May I?" She held out her hand, palm up.
Vanitas blinked before hesitantly placing his bare hand in hers.
She inspected the burn. It didn't look too bad, but probably still hurt a lot. "Next time, you should cast Cure immediately," she chided lightly as her healing spell took effect, the glittering green light dancing around his fingers.
Vanitas rolled his eyes but gave a slight grin. "Whatever you say, Doctor Aqua."
Ignoring his sarcastic quip, she stepped back to really look at him. Vanitas was no longer wearing his Dark Suit, but rather a red dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a black unbuttoned waistcoat, as well as a pair of slim black trousers— all obviously keeping to his iconic color scheme. It seemed he was also reluctant to abandon his boots or his red belt, though thankfully it was without the skirt.
"Here, let me…" Aqua reached for his waistcoat. Vanitas stiffened slightly before relaxing, watching with mild interest as she did up the buttons for him. She placed her hands on her hips after finishing, smiling as Vanitas admired her handiwork. "You look good," Aqua said before she could stop herself.
Vanitas glanced up quickly, his startled expression giving way to a mischievous grin. "Implying that I didn't look good before?"
"You know what I mean," she rolled her eyes to hide her slight embarrassment. "I thought you said you wouldn't be 'caught dead' wearing these?" Not that she was complaining. Vanitas looked… normal. Maybe he did have some fashion sense, after all.
Vanitas snorted and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. "You'd have to kill me again for that to happen," he deadpanned. "But between Master Xehanort and every Heartless in the Dark World, you'll have to wait in line."
Aqua winced slightly at his joke. At this rate, she and Vanitas very well might have to face down all kinds of danger, if there were more higher-grade Heartless like the Shadow Stalker lurking in the Castle. Fighting Xehanort would be no picnic either, especially not while he was possessing Terra. Would she even be able to face him again…?
Not to mention, she would have to awaken Ventus before she could even think of confronting Xehanort, especially if the old Master was actively looking for Ven, as Terra had said. At least Aqua could take comfort knowing Xehanort would never be able to access the Chamber of Waking without Master Keeper. Although, as difficult as it would be for Xehanort to find Ven's body, it'd be even harder for her to find his heart. The real conundrum was 'how?'. Not even Vanitas knew where he was. Still, the two of them had to try. Of course, their first priority was escaping the Realm of Darkness.
Vanitas's face had fallen while she was contemplating this. "Come on, Aqua. you have to admit that was pretty funny," he muttered glumly, interrupting her thoughts. "But if you're really that worried, just know I've got no plans of dying anytime soon, okay?"
"Of course," she chuckled softly, putting on a small but sincere smile. "I'm sorry. It was funny, I was just thinking…"
Vanitas hummed thoughtfully and tilted his head, regarding her closely before shrugging. Aqua glanced at the hot tray, upon which sat a half dozen unidentifiable dark brown blobs organized into two rows. She recalled the first and only time Terra had attempted to cook pancakes. He'd nearly burnt down the kitchen, so at least Vanitas's cooking skills weren't that bad. All in all, if it weren't for the two fledgling emotions roving about the kitchen, she'd say it was a rather domestic scene.
As if reading her mind, Vanitas stood up a little straighter and cleared his throat. "I should probably clean these up," he said, gesturing towards the Yellow Mustard. Vanitas caught the jittery electric Unversed around its middle and absorbed it in a flash of black smoke.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Aqua asked worriedly.
"Not usually," he replied. "Reabsorbing them just gives me the emotion back— no pain. Sometimes the elemental ones give me trouble, though." Vanitas shook out his hand, tiny sparks of lightning jumping between his fingers.
If he could just reabsorb the Unversed painlessly then why did he always kill them so violently? Well, at least he was putting in an effort to not hurt himself…
I can't think about that now; today is a fresh start.
Vanitas reached for the blue Flood next, but it bounded out of his grasp and headed straight for—
"Aqua!"
She squeaked in surprise as the Flood climbed up her leg and clambered over her shoulder. It chittered softly in her ear. "Vanitas, what's it doing?!" The murine Unversed wasn't attacking her, but its tiny pointed feet were digging sharply into her back.
"I don't know— Come here!" Vanitas lunged, grabbing for the Flood but it leapt off, using Aqua's shoulders as a spring board and scampering out into the foyer. Vanitas's momentum carried him far enough that he collided directly into Aqua.
She gasped in surprise as she tried to keep her balance, somehow suddenly finding herself trapped between Vanitas and the kitchen counter, his arms braced against the countertop on either side of her and their chests pressed together. Vanitas blinked up at her, disorientated. Heat rose in Aqua's cheeks as their eyes met, the heavy pressure of his Darkness coiling lazily around her heart.
With his close proximity, Aqua suddenly realized that his Darkness didn't carry the same scent as it once had. Her nose tingled with a strangely familiar smell, that of the Land of Departure's woodlands on the rare occasion a lightning storm lit the conifers ablaze— pine smoke and sweet resin, cozy and dangerous at the same time. Had soap and water really made that much of a difference? Or had something else about him changed? Aqua cleared her throat and Vanitas quickly drew back, taking his oddly nostalgic scent with him.
"I don't know what's wrong with that one," he muttered, shaking his head and confusing Aqua for a moment. She'd forgotten about the blue Flood. "I don't remember summoning it, but it's been annoying me for the past fifteen minutes. I nearly dropped the tray 'cause of it, and I burned the food." Vanitas sighed in frustration, drumming his fingers against the countertop. "I even used the cookbook this time…"
Aqua shook off her embarrassment. Now that she had the chance to take a proper look, she could tell that the dark brown blobs were supposed to be muffins— though made without the proper kind of tray, they were more like biscuits.
"I thought I could make you a nice breakfast, but…" He sighed again. "I don't know; I'm not good at this. Maybe I should just stick to Prize Pod food."
"Well, I don't know about that…" Aqua frowned, inspecting a muffin now that it was a bit cooler. It was certainly dark around the edges, but it didn't have any signs of eggshells or other oddities. "I'd definitely call this an improvement."
Vanitas still looked unconvinced. Aqua was reminded of the way Terra used to sulk if he didn't get something right on the first try. Back then she had sometimes teased Terra, especially when it came to his lack of cooking prowess, but perhaps that hadn't been the right thing to do. Vanitas needed encouragement, not derision.
Fetching a plate from the cabinet and a knife from the rack, Aqua sliced into the muffin. The inside looked surprisingly good— golden yellow with dark red spots of some sort of fruit. Cherryberries, probably.
"Look, it's not burnt; just a little crispy," she said, showing it to Vanitas before taking a bite. It was sweeter than most muffins —not a surprise, given who'd made it— but still very tasty. "Thank you for making this," she beamed.
Vanitas blinked in surprise before his whole face lit up into a wide grin. "Yeah, well. It was nothing." He ran a hand through his black hair, ruffling the spikes. Seriously, how did he fit all that under his helmet?
"Your hair is longer than I thought it was," Aqua mused aloud. "I guess it was just all tangled up."
"Really?" he asked, twisting a dark lock between his fingers.
"Mhm." She reached over and tucked a stray strand behind his ear.
So soft…
Aqua was suddenly aware of just how close she was standing to him and quickly stepped back, unsure if it was embarrassment at her own impulsiveness or just because she didn't want to take up his personal space. "S-sorry, I didn't ask permission…"
"Aqua, it's fine. Seriously." He took ahold of her free hand and squeezed gently. "I— I like it. It's nice." He slid his other hand over hers, a nearly imperceptible tremble in his fingers.
Aqua slowly placed the muffin back on the plate. "Vanitas, do you need…?"
He gave a quick nod.
She opened her arms and Vanitas rushed forwards into her embrace, burying his face into her shoulder and enveloping her once again with the smokey-sweet scent of firewood. Aqua found herself hugging him back surprisingly tightly, running a hand through his soft hair; she hadn't realized how much she'd missed simple human contact. How long had it been since she'd last hugged Terra in person, or ruffled the real Ven's hair? Months? Years? Time didn't matter in the Realm of Darkness, and her memories of this place prior to entering the Castle of Dreams had swirled together into one dull blur of grey.
What would I have done without Vanitas? Aqua thought solemnly. Would I have fallen prey to the Heartless, or perhaps faded away into the Darkness…?
It was something she didn't want to contemplate. Aqua closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against the side of his head. Life without Vanitas seemed impossible now, as impossible as life without Master Eraqus or Terra or Ven. But… the Master was gone forever; Aqua knew that. And the longer she stayed in the Dark World, the further and further Terra and Ventus's chances slipped away…
That's enough, she scolded herself. Terra and Ven weren't dead; not yet. She was going to get them back, and she wouldn't be doing it alone, now that she had Vanitas by her side. The two of them would survive this, see the light of day again. She knew they would.
"You smell good," Vanitas mumbled into her shoulder, abruptly yanking her out of her thoughts.
Aqua's face went beet-red as she awkwardly replied, "Y-you too."
He pulled back and stared at her incredulously. "Lying again, are we? That's not very becoming of a Master, Aqua."
"I'm not lying!"
"Yeah, whatever." Vanitas rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's eat before the muffins get cold."
Once situated at the long table in the dining hall, Aqua ate her breakfast while watching Vanitas deftly utilize a knife to spread butter across half a muffin. The past few weeks, both his table manners and his overall utensil skills had improved immensely. His etiquette wasn't perfect —she still had to remind him to keep his elbows off the table sometimes— but compared to how he'd started… he might as well be a prince.
"So, what're we doing today?" Vanitas asked as he finished off the last bite of breakfast.
Aqua leaned back in her chair and slowly sipped her Heroic Orange juice, thinking. She was still partially exhausted from yesterday's activities, from combatting the Heartless to baking the Dancin' Lemon Cake, not to mention the amount of emotional turmoil she'd suffered the past couple of days. Aqua needed a break, something to distract herself from her thoughts. There were chores to do around the Castle— that was simple enough. And she needed to start on Vanitas's Wayfinder.
"Well, the kitchen's still a mess, and I need to do the laundry, and… a couple other things," she listed off the tasks, careful to keep the last one a secret. "Just boring stuff."
Vanitas hummed in acknowledgment and picked up his plate, taking it to the kitchen. Aqua gathered her own dishes and followed suit, placing them in the sink before grabbing dishcloths from the cabinet. Vanitas idled near the icebox, his eyes flicking between her and the messy countertop.
"Do you need something?" Aqua asked.
"…I wanna help," he mumbled, his gaze lowering to the floor.
Aqua blinked at him in shock, lips parted in surprise. Vanitas had never offered to help clean anything… But then, he'd never been so eager to cook before, either. Was he still feeling guilty about yesterday? Not that she didn't welcome the help, but… "You don't have to—"
"I want to," Vanitas interrupted more forcefully. "Might as well make myself useful," he muttered under his breath.
She frowned at his tone. "Well, alright… You can start by doing the dishes," she said, handing him a dishcloth.
Vanitas nodded and began scrubbing the dirty plates and utensils in the sink while Aqua set to work sweeping the counter. They fell into what she hoped was a comfortable silence as they cleaned. Aqua considered what Vanitas had just said. He'd expressed a similar sentiment the other night.
'Glad to know I'm good for something,' he'd muttered with a dull look in his eyes. 'Weak', 'pathetic', 'stupid'… All words he directed more at himself than her friends, nowadays. Once again, she was reminded of Terra, though this wasn't exactly the same. Even when Terra beat himself up over every little mistake, he'd never gone as far as Vanitas did. Terra had only acted like this whenever he made a mistake. But Vanitas… Vanitas acted as though he was the mistake.
"I really do appreciate the help, you know," Aqua said. "Ven would've complained," she added after thinking a moment.
Vanitas immediately perked up. "Is that so?"
"Mhm. Oh, he'd whine for ages if I ever asked him to do any chores." That was an exaggeration, of course. Ventus whined as often as he helped without complaint, though she did always have to ask.
"Can't trust that worthless loser with anything, huh? Bet he couldn't do anything right," Vanitas said enthusiastically, scrubbing with renewed vigor. The plate cracked under the pressure. "Uh… whoops."
Aqua winced. Okay, maybe this was getting a little out of hand. "Of course, a person's worth isn't determined by what they can do…" she backpedalled.
"What?" Vanitas stared at her blankly.
She began to repeat herself. "A person's worth—"
"I heard what you said." He frowned in confusion. "What worth does anyone have other than their power? How else are you gonna survive, unless you're strong? Predators devour prey; that's just a fact of life, and Keyblade Wielders like us? Top of the food chain." Vanitas tilted his head. "So what value is there in the weak?" His yellow eyes narrowed on the last word.
The weak?
Aqua didn't like the way he'd said that. She didn't like it at all. How could he think something so horrible— borderline cruel, even? No… this was Xehanort talking— what the old Master had taught him.
Vanitas's spirit had been fractured again and again, his mind twisted and warped by Xehanort's cruelty. It wasn't really surprising he'd have difficulty in caring for other people, let alone himself. How could he, when the only other person in his life had done this? Aqua's eyes hovered on a jagged scar running along the side of his neck before returning to his confused face.
Despite all that, Vanitas's heart wasn't totally lost. There was a warmth inside him that was worth saving, someone who in just a short amount of time she'd been able to coax out of hiding. A boy who against all odds trusted and cared about her, opened up to her, allowed her to touch him when no one else ever had… Perhaps she had already undone some of the damage. Aqua couldn't push Vanitas to change, but she could open his heart and mind to something new.
Aqua sighed. Philosophical discussions about the intrinsic value of human life was not what she had been anticipating this early in the morning; she would handle this as delicately as she could. "Vanitas… why are you helping me clean up?" she asked, deciding to start with something he could relate to. "You've never done this before."
Vanitas slowly placed the broken plate on the counter, his face reflected on its cracked surface. "I guess… If we're gonna be here for a while then…" He took a deep breath. "I just wanna be useful. I told you; I'm only good at fighting, but… I don't wanna see you cry anymore. It makes me feel like crying, too. I know that doesn't make any sense, but… I want you to be happy, Aqua. And if doing this helps, then…" Vanitas trailed off, looking more and more uncomfortable.
She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He blinked and looked up at her. "Feeling what others feel and wanting them to be happy… That's called empathy, Vanitas. It's why I help people."
"You can feel other people's emotions?!"
Aqua startled at his shocked expression. "Well, not literally. It's more like I can read facial expressions to understand what another person is feeling," she clarified.
Vanitas visibly calmed down at that. What had he thought she meant? "Oh. That makes sense. So, 'empathy'… It's like 'sympathy'?" he asked, tilting his head.
"The terms are related, yes."
"So… you pity the weak," he frowned, his expression bordering on disgust.
She shook her head. "No, I care about them. Just like how I care about you— How we care about each other."
His eyebrows furrowed further. "But why? Sure, we've helped each other, saved each other's lives, but you don't even know them; what could they ever do for you? It's not like they can wield Keyblades."
Aqua bit her lip. Altruism was harder to explain than she thought, and there was no way she'd be able to convince Vanitas that non-Wielders weren't inherently weak. "It's not about what they can do for me, but what I can do for them. Helping other people feels good because it's the right thing to do, whether I get something out of it or not."
"So it's all part of the selflessness act," he scoffed. "I don't get it."
Aqua sighed again, rubbing her temples. "It's not an act, and you will. Just… think on it a little bit, and it'll come to you. If you can feel empathy for me, then you'll be able to feel it for others, too— once we get out of here."
Vanitas still looked skeptical. "If you say so."
"I do say so. And just so you know…" Her eyes softened. "There's more to you than just fighting. You don't have to be useful to me, Vanitas; you're worth so much more than that. You're my friend, and that's what really counts."
Vanitas stared at her wide-eyed, an obvious blush rising in his cheeks. "Well, when you put it that way… I'm not so sure you're that selfless after all."
Aqua blinked, taken aback. "What makes you say that?"
"'Cause you do get something out of it… You get me as a friend," he winked with a grin.
Aqua snorted lightly and ruffled his hair. "That I do. And you get me, so we're even."
They finished cleaning the rest of the kitchen, scrubbing until it was spotless.
Vanitas placed his wet dishcloth on the counter. "Hey, so… You really think I look good?" he asked sheepishly, tugging on his shirt collar. His face was still a little flushed.
"Mhm," Aqua nodded sincerely. His new outfit was perhaps a little old fashioned compared to… say, Radiant Garden. But for this World? "Very stylish," she complimented. "Why'd you choose to wear that, anyway? What about your mask?"
"It's… more comfortable this way," he shrugged, looking a little nervous. "And… I thought you might like it…"
Aqua blinked. Why would that matter to him? "You should wear what you want, Vanitas. As long as you wear something," she amended quickly.
"Oh, well now you've gone and ruined my afternoon plans…" he said with a disappointed pout. "And here I was gonna streak around the Castle, naked…"
He— he's not serious…!
Vanitas laughed as Aqua's face turned bright pink. "I'm kidding! I swear, you're making this way too easy. Don't worry; I'll wear clothes, seeing as it's such a big deal to you."
"It's a big deal to a lot more than just me," she huffed, shaking her head.
He snorted. "What, you see anyone else here? This Castle's a ghost town." He crossed his arms. "Speaking of which, I should probably off any more Possessors that might be floating around. You said you saw something weird before we played Fruitball, right?"
Fruitball? Oh, right. That had been over a week ago, but Aqua had heard some strange noises when she'd gone to fetch a ball from the storage closet. "Mhm, in a hallway on the first floor. There's these suits of armor…" She frowned, her eyes flicking down to the scars on his exposed forearms. "Are you sure you can handle them on your own?"
Vanitas raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like I need a babysitter?" His voice held a slight edge.
Aqua blinked and averted her eyes. She hadn't meant to imply he was helpless; she just wanted him to stay safe…
Vanitas seemed to notice her discomfort. "Aqua, I'll be fine," he assured in a softened tone. "You said you've got shit to do, right? And my magic skills could use the practice. Ice isn't exactly my forte."
"Well… alright. If you're done teasing me, I do have some very important laundry to take care of."
"See? This is why normal clothes are stupid. You have to wash them and, uh… Well, whatever else you have to do." Vanitas took a step towards the doorway before glancing over his shoulder. "I'll yell if I need anything, okay? So quit worrying so much."
Aqua nodded. "Be careful."
He'll be alright, she assured herself, parting ways with Vanitas and heading up to the fourth floor sewing room.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Now dressed in her outfit fresh from the laundry complete with a new pink skirt, Aqua settled down at the wooden table in the sewing room. Pinewood, she thought with a blink before shaking herself. She laid out the materials she'd gathered to craft Vanitas's Wayfinder— soft silver metal, bronze thread, and several sheets of colorful glass— along with her own Wayfinder for reference.
Which color would suit him best? Black was obvious… No, too boring. Purple? Closer, but not quite… Aqua closed her eyes. What colors came to mind when she thought of Vanitas? Gold was first, that strikingly bright shade of his eyes, but it was too similar to the orange of Terra's Wayfinder. Ven's was green, and her own charm was blue… so what about red? Aqua examined the sheets of red glass from her selection, passing over vermilion, scarlet, and burgundy until she settled on a deep yet vibrant crimson which gradated to maroon.
And what would she do for the symbol at the center…? Aqua's hand went to the silver pendant on her chest. She removed it, turning it over and over in her hand, considering. This pendant was the same symbol as on the other three Wayfinders, and was necessary to complete the charm. But she had received it as a sign of her apprenticeship to Master Eraqus. Should she really use this for Vanitas's Wayfinder?
She ran her thumb over the hairline fracture where Vanitas had scratched it with his Keyblade. Aqua had to chuckle at the irony. It was so strange to think, she and Vanitas had been enemies, once. And now he was one of her closest friends. They'd changed. Both of them had. What would the Master think of her now, making friends with the Darkness? Would he accept her as he had in her dream-memory? Or would he be more like that horrible phantom…?
There was a thump outside the door. "Vanitas?" Aqua asked, hurriedly replacing her pendant and throwing a tarp over the table before he could see what she was working on. But instead of Vanitas walking through the door, a dark puddle slithered under it.
Aqua hopped up and summoned Master Keeper, but what formed from the puddle wasn't a Shadow like she'd been expecting, but the little blue Flood from earlier. It cocked its triangular head to one side, staring at her with tiny red eyes. Aqua held perfectly still, unsure whether or not to break eye contact, her grip loosening around her Keyblade before tightening again. What should she do? If the Unversed attacked her, then she would have to defend herself… But if she killed it, that would hurt Vanitas.
The Flood approached slowly, like a cautious animal, before darting under the table. Aqua yelped and jumped back, but the Unversed remained hidden underneath the furniture. She stood there for a whole minute, wondering if she should fetch Vanitas so he could come clean up his wayward emotion.
Dismissing Master Keeper, Aqua turned to leave, but a soft chittering sound stopped her in her tracks. She looked back to where the Flood had stuck its little quivering snout out from underneath the table. For the second time today, Aqua's morbid curiosity was piqued. Why was this Unversed acting so strangely? Even Vanitas didn't know what was wrong with it.
"I'm not going to hurt you," she reassured it. The creature just stared at her with its unblinking red eyes. Aqua felt a little silly, talking to an Unversed. But… the Vile Phial yesterday had obeyed her command, hadn't it? And they were a part of Vanitas…
Swallowing down her trepidation and throwing caution to the wind, Aqua crouched down and held out her hand towards the Flood. If it attacked her, it wouldn't be anything a simple Cure spell couldn't fix. The Unversed stared for several more moments before hesitantly crawling forward, the tip of its pointed snout almost brushing against her fingertips. She leaned forwards and the Flood ducked and quickly drew back, sitting on its haunches and quietly regarding her.
Aqua wiggled her fingers, trying to coax it closer, but the creature now seemed distracted by a sight over to her left. She looked in the direction it was facing, spotting a row of wooden drawers lined up against the wall. Aqua hadn't noticed before how one drawer was slightly ajar, a faint blue glow emanating from it.
What is that…?
Giving one last glance towards the Unversed, Aqua strode over and opened the drawer— gasping at what she saw inside. Upon a blue silk pillow in a little silver box rested a single sparkling glass slipper.
"How did you—?" she turned to ask the Flood, but the little blue Unversed was already squeezing itself under the doorframe and back into the hall. Aqua sighed and gingerly picked up the pillow holding the glass slipper and sunk into the chair at the table, setting it in her lap. Why was Cinderella's slipper here? Was this her personal sewing room? It was on the same floor as the royal suite…
Aqua suddenly felt like an intruder in her friend's home; it wasn't her right to use these things. She figured stealing food was passible as a means to survival, but these clothes, these materials— They were all non-essentials. But… perhaps Vanitas was right. What use was any of this stuff to an empty Castle, whose inhabitants had already fallen prey to the Heartless? Despite providing her and Vanitas shelter for the past three weeks, the Castle of Dreams was hollow and devoid of life— A World swallowed by Darkness along with the Dwarf Woodlands and quite possibly the Enchanted Dominion.
What if it's too late for Cinderella? And Snow White, and Prince Phillip, too…? Their Worlds, lost to Darkness… What if I never see them again?
Her grip on the silk pillow tightened. No one else knew of these Worlds, their people— Jaq and the Fairy Godmother, the seven kind dwarfs, the three good fairies… With Terra possessed, Ventus comatose, and Vanitas's overall apathy and disdain towards the common folk, Aqua was the only one left to remember and mourn them.
Memories… Would that be all she'd have left of Terra too, if she couldn't release him from Xehanort's hold? Of Ven, if she couldn't find his heart? Would her missing friends become nothing more than memories within her heart? That irreversible fate had already befallen Master Eraqus. Aqua had yet to truly allow herself to mourn the Master's death. Always on the move, fighting for her life, trying to escape… She'd told herself she didn't have time for tears.
'The Master tried to destroy me,' Ventus had said. Aqua hadn't wanted to believe it at the time, but now…
There was a horrible thought, one she'd shoved to the back of her mind— of Terra shrouded in Darkness and standing above their fallen Master, Ends of the Earth dripping with blood and Master Xehanort at Terra's shoulder, whispering venomous words of false praise… But after taking in both Terra and Vanitas's accounts, along with what Ventus had said so long ago in the Graveyard, the image had now changed— Terra, defending Ven from Master Eraqus, and Xehanort, his wicked Keyblade poised to plunge into the Master's back…
Aqua had thought Terra was the aggressor, that he'd killed Master Eraqus out of rage, allowed the Darkness to take his heart… But no, it was the Master who had fallen, who had really tried to kill Ven. What difference was there in Light and Darkness when even the Master, someone with a heart of nearly pure Light, was capable of such a terrible deed? Aqua couldn't quite picture it, her kind and loving Master, the man who had been like a father to her and her friends, raising his Keyblade against Ventus with the intention to kill… But she couldn't hide from the truth anymore.
Even if— no, when, she scolded herself… Even when she saved Terra and Ven, her family would remain permanently broken. They would never be able to go back to that simple life at the Land of Departure. Her home was broken too, fallen to Darkness same as all these other Worlds… Transformed by her own hand into something bleak and sterile.
She would never see the Master again. She would never hear his gentle words of encouragement during training or listen to his wise teachings. He would never be able to enjoy her sweet cakes or exchange lighthearted banter with Terra and Ven. She had taken Master Eraqus for granted, same as everything else in her life. And now he was gone, forever. All she had left was Vanitas, at least until she rescued Terra and Ventus.
Aqua didn't even know if Vanitas would be able to get along with her other friends, or if he would even want to befriend them, seeing as he hated them so much. Would Terra and Ven accept him as part of their family? Perhaps Terra would, now that he knew Vanitas had saved her life, but what about Ven? He was the one Vanitas had hurt the most.
Would she be forced to choose? Choose between her brothers and the boy she now called a friend? Who had saved her in more ways than one?
…Who was also partially to blame for all this? Who had attempted to start a second Keyblade War, who had shattered Ven's heart and caused his coma, who had distracted her from her efforts to save Terra…
No… Vanitas is my friend. I've already forgiven him; I can't go back on that now.
Then what was this specter of doubt weighing heavily on her chest? When they returned to the Realm of Light, would Vanitas really stand by her side?
Aqua's resolve cracked, and her tears began to fall.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Vanitas wandered the hallways back up towards the fourth floor. Killing the remaining Possessors had gone off without a hitch. Sure, his Dark Blizzard spells hadn't been casted with the finest finesse, but they'd been good enough to get the job done. Those Heartless wouldn't be bothering him and Aqua for a very long time.
The real question was, what now? Despite his earlier joke, Vanitas really didn't know what he and Aqua were going to do today. Maybe they could play a game again… The chess incident wasn't something he wanted to repeat, but they hadn't played Fruitball in a while. Maybe Aqua would come up with a new game! Vanitas grinned with excitement, increasing his pace.
Hopefully she would be done with the laundry by the time he got back. Vanitas really didn't understand what the big deal about wearing clothing was. Sure, his Dark Suit kept him warm and his mask offered plenty of protection when it wasn't shattering in his face, but other than that, what were clothes for? Decoration? Sure as hell seemed that way.
As for his new outfit, Vanitas had simply copied what the prince in the storybook had been wearing, though he refused to wear pants quite that wide. Aqua thought he looked 'stylish', so he'd obviously chosen well. Vanitas rubbed his new shirt collar between his fingers, fascinated by the soft material. Between bathing more often and wearing normal clothes, tactile sensations were just another strange thing to get used to. Well, as long as Aqua liked it, he'd bathe and wear clothes every day if that's what made her happy.
And it wasn't as if she didn't have the right idea; despite requiring stupid things like 'washing', normal clothes were more comfortable than his Dark Suit— although he hadn't completely ditched his old outfit. Vanitas had kept his boots and belt, though he'd left its navy-blue fabric behind; the prince hadn't been wearing anything similar. It was an odd feeling, not having something swishing around his legs, but not too much of a loss. However, there was another article of clothing that he hated to admit he actually did miss.
Vanitas felt vulnerable without his mask. Even though he'd stopped wearing the visor weeks ago, the lack of its heavy presence on his jaw felt strange. Like his Dark Suit, he'd been born wearing it, a featureless mask to hide his featureless visage— Dark and inhuman… What he truly was under the human facade Sora had unwittingly granted him. A faceless freak, as Aqua had once called him— a side of him he didn't want her to see… And so he had ditched the mask.
Yes, Vanitas felt vulnerable without his mask… but also more free.
The way Aqua had touched him last night, her warm, soft fingers against his bare cheek… Vanitas truly hadn't known what to expect from Aqua's hands. A cut? A bruise? A new scar? Then again, his Master had never needed his hands to deliver discipline. The sharp bite of a Keyblade, a well-placed kick to the jaw, a bolt of Dark Thundaga… All had been more than enough to educate Vanitas. The old man needn't get his hands dirty. Shocking then, that someone as pure as Aqua would ever wanna touch YOU.
Vanitas flinched.
Aqua had been so worried about him last night; she needn't be. Sure, she'd given him a handful of scars, but Aqua wasn't Xehanort— she wasn't like him at all. The scars she'd given him had been from combat, when she'd been fighting for her life as much as he'd been fighting for his. Aqua had always ceased whenever he was incapacitated, never needing to hurt him beyond that. She'd never held a Dark Firaga to his skin or pinned him down with a Keyblade at his throat. No, Aqua would never be anything like Xehanort; it just wasn't in her nature. Vanitas hoped she could see that.
She had broken down something inside him last night, or perhaps built something back up. Was that the power of Aqua's Light? Could she even do such a thing? She wasn't a Princess, after all… But something about Aqua's approval made him feel… Well, Vanitas wasn't quite sure. But his pulse quickened every time she praised or complimented him. Aqua's Light eased his pain, that was certain, but it still didn't explain why he felt so different on the inside.
He'd barely felt any pain at all today, other than when he'd accidentally burned his hand earlier this morning, and hadn't felt a single Unversed stir since before breakfast. Maybe… maybe someday soon… he could go an entire day without pain.
Vanitas froze. A… a whole day…?
Dizziness overtook him along with shortness of breath. He braced his hand against a wall, barely registering as his fingers brushed against the smooth, cold stone. That was what beings of Light felt, right? They didn't have to feel pain like this. This was… normal for them. Normal people didn't have hearts that constantly burned and ached. Normal people didn't have hordes of monsters writhing under their skin. Normal people didn't have Masters who left them sobbing and bleeding out in the middle of the Badlands.
Vanitas suddenly slammed his fist against the wall, leaving a crack in the stonework. He blinked in surprise at the stinging pain. Right, he wasn't wearing his gloves anymore; he'd need to be more careful if he wanted to keep his promise to Aqua. Vanitas pulled back, staring at the droplets of blood beading out of the fresh scrapes on his knuckles. Red, just like hers; human.
Am I…?
The question hung unspoken in the empty air, and went equally unanswered. Vanitas slowly drew himself out of his stupor, casting Cure to seal up the tiny cuts and licking the remaining blood off his hand until it was clean.
Vanitas stood there silently for a long moment, contemplating the familiar taste of copper. He felt fear when Aqua was hurt and anger when she was sad, and he couldn't help but smile and laugh when she did. Vanitas had thought these strange feelings were the Light encroaching upon his heart, but perhaps it was this 'empathy' instead. If Aqua knew a word for it, then perhaps what he was feeling was normal… Unless empathy was also a part of the Light?
He shook his head. Whether or not Aqua's theories about him were true, this one didn't matter. There wasn't anyone else around to test these feelings on, nor would there ever be. It was easy to like Aqua; she was his friend. But Vanitas doubted it was possible for him to feel this way for anyone besides Aqua… Then again, he had never thought he'd feel this way about her, either…
Reaching the sewing room, Vanitas paused to knock on the door, remembering how Aqua had yelled at him for barging in yesterday. He heard what sounded like a muffled 'just a second!' and the scraping of chair legs before Aqua slowly opened the door. Vanitas startled upon seeing how wet her eyes were. "H-hey, did something happen?" he asked, instantly concerned.
I only left her alone for a little while… Apparently that had been a mistake.
"No, not really," Aqua sighed. "Something in the back of my mind just caught up with me, and…" She trailed off as another tear fell from her eye.
"Damn it, Aqua. I hate it when you cry," Vanitas said softly.
She sniffled. "I'm sorry. I hate crying, too."
"Don't apologize," he said exasperatedly. "Here…" Vanitas hesitantly reached up and ran his thumb across her cheeks, wiping away the tears. It was the least he could do.
Her expression softened. "Thank you," Aqua whispered, gently catching his hand before he could pull away.
Vanitas squeezed her fingers in return and clasped his other hand around hers, stroking her wrist. "You uh, wanna talk about it?" he offered with a half-shrug— not that he really knew what to say. Words of comfort always failed him, but wasn't this what friends were supposed to do?
She averted her eyes. "…I'm not sure you'd understand."
He scoffed lightly. "You said I'm smart, right? So try me." Vanitas tilted his head as he noticed something glowing behind her— a sparkling object sitting on a pillow in the middle of a tarp-covered table. "Hey, ain't that the Princess's?"
"Mhm." Aqua let go of his hand and turned to retrieve the object. "It's Cinderella's glass slipper— the one Lady Tremaine didn't break." She held out the tiny glittering shoe. Vanitas didn't need the burning sensation in his nose to tell him it was full of Light; the sight of it alone was nearly blinding.
"You're crying over that?" he asked, trying to not sound incredulous. A broken slipper wasn't worth crying over, especially when it wasn't even hers to begin with… Unless she was planning on wearing this one, and couldn't without the full pair? "It's not exactly your size."
Aqua made a choking sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. Vanitas didn't know what to make of it. If only he could sense Aqua's emotions the same way he could Ventus's. It would tell him what was troubling her, at least.
"So are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or not?" he asked after Aqua composed herself.
She smiled a little sadly and nodded. "Alright, come on. There's more comfortable places to talk than just standing in the doorway…"
Aqua led him to the royal bedroom, sitting on the edge of the enormous red bed with the glass slipper held gently in her lap. Vanitas reluctantly sat a little further away from her than he would've liked, not wanting to get too close to the Princess's crystalline footwear. He watched Aqua stare at it for a few minutes before tilting his head expectantly, nudging her side a little to catch her attention.
Aqua gave a lengthy sigh and looked at him with tired eyes. "Vanitas… I'm not sure I can keep doing this."
He frowned at her tone. She sounded… sad. Sadder than she had in a long time. "What are you talking about?"
Her eyes took on a distant look. "These Worlds— the Castle of Dreams, the Dwarf Woodlands, maybe even the Enchanted Dominion… All of them have fallen to Darkness. When we escape, what about the people who used to live here? What happened to Cinderella and Snow White? And Prince Phillip and Aurora too, not to mention Terra and Ven… What good was it, preventing a Keyblade War when everything else is just… lost? No matter what I do?"
Vanitas blinked, open-mouthed. "H-hey, where's the Aqua from yesterday? Ventus is still safe, and you said you'd rescue Terra, right?"
"I know I did… And I know I should be more positive," she said, misery still evident in her expression. "I know I have to continue believing and hoping for the future; I keep telling myself that I need to move on, that I can't keep dwelling in the past, but…"
"It's hard. I get it. I… I try to forget, too— about Xehanort, I mean. But…"
"The memories keep coming back?"
"Exactly," Vanitas sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
Aqua took a little while before she spoke again. "I'm a Keyblade Master. It's my duty to protect the Worlds, but… I did this. If Xehanort caused the Worlds to fall, then I'm the one responsible; it's my fault for saving him. All those people are dead because of me."
"You couldn't have known—"
"I should have. But even if I had… I don't know if I would've chosen any different." Aqua placed her hand over the silver pendant on her chest. "Would I really rather rescue Terra and let the Worlds fall in his place? What kind of Master does that make me?" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "How could I be so awful…?"
"Shut up," Vanitas snarled, startling her. He winced at his own harsh tone. Why could he never comfort her properly? "It's just— you're not awful, okay? You don't have to be a Keyblade Master right now. You're Aqua— just Aqua to me. That's more than enough."
Aqua blinked in surprise and stared straight into his eyes, the reflected glow of the glass slipper making them appear even more blue and sparkling than usual. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, before closing again.
Vanitas continued in her silence. "All those people are already gone. You can't do anything about them, and you shouldn't worry about Ventus and Terra either. We know they're still alive, but there's nothing you can do for them right now.."
Aqua's gaze turned back to the glass slipper. She ran her thumb along its thin, glittering edges before placing it down on the sheets next to her. Vanitas took that opportunity to scoot closer to her until their thighs nearly touched. To his surprise Aqua leaned into him, resting her shoulder against his.
"Vanitas, may I ask you a favor?"
"What is it?"
"Please promise me you won't fight Terra and Ven," Aqua implored. She fidgeted with the edge of her skirt, looking for all the Worlds like she didn't want to say whatever she was going to next. "I'd appreciate it if you'd help me get them back, but I'd understand if you don't want to…"
Aqua was right— Vanitas didn't want to; he didn't want to at all. He looked away and clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white, digging his fingernails painfully into his palms in an effort to smother the Rage and Jealousy building inside him. Of course Aqua still cared about those two idiots more than him; why should last night have changed anything? So what if he was her friend? He was simply one of three.
But… Vanitas glanced at Aqua out of the corner of his eye. Was it possible to surpass Ventus and Terra's friendship with her? Four-plus years were nothing next to an eternity. As long as he and Aqua stayed right here in the Realm of Darkness —this Dark World where time never passed— then perhaps she'd finally realize that she didn't need those losers anymore— that she belonged with him instead, that here she would be safe from Xehanort. Yes… Aqua would realize that eventually. But as for now…
"Yeah… I promise, Aqua. When we return to the Realm of Light, I'll help you get Ventus and Terra back," Vanitas said, not meeting her eyes. It was a promise he intended to keep, yet hoped to Kingdom Hearts he'd never have to fulfill.
Good thing there's no way back. A Mandrake squirmed inside his chest. He wasn't lying, so why did he feel Guilty?
Aqua looked genuinely shocked before her face settled into a sincere smile. "You've changed."
Vanitas bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. Have I really changed?
Maybe a little… Okay, maybe a lot. Vanitas was still violent and selfish and not quite sane; he knew this, so surely Aqua must know it too… Yet she was his friend because she cared about him, and he cared about her. He couldn't deny there was something different about himself, nor could he deny it was a change for the better. The happiness Aqua made him feel… He wouldn't trade it for all the Worlds.
He forced himself to meet her steady gaze. "You're right; I have changed," Vanitas said in a half-whisper. "You've changed me, Aqua."
She shook her head. "No Vanitas, I think you made those changes yourself."
"Huh?"
"I've realized I can't force you to change. Maybe no one really has the power to truly change anyone else; at least not on purpose." Aqua placed a hand over her heart. "I think that's something that has to come from within— the power to make your own decisions, forge your own path."
"…My path was set the day I was born," Vanitas muttered.
"I know Xehanort must've told you that, but haven't you already proven that's not true?" she pointed out. "He ordered you to kill me, didn't he? But you chose to spare my life."
"Yeah… I did."
Her eyes softened. "See? You've already chosen to change. I've changed, too," she chuckled lightly. "If the Master caught me talking to a heart of pure Darkness—"
"He'd kill us both?" Vanitas grinned to match her smile. That was only half-true. He knew Eraqus would never harm a blue hair on Aqua's head.
She looked stricken. "Maybe Master Eraqus would kill me, if he thought I was dangerous or if I'd fallen to Darkness…"
"Aqua, that was a joke—"
"He tried to murder Ven!" she cried out suddenly, clutching at her skirt. "Just on the chance that the X-Blade might've been forged!" Her voice softened to a whisper. "And he would've killed you too, just for existing…"
"Well, it's a good thing he can't see us now," Vanitas deadpanned.
Aqua became very silent.
"I mean, not good that he's dead and all…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Shit, I should really learn to keep my big mouth shut."
"No, it's— It still hurts." She let out a breath. "I've never lost someone before. I can't imagine you know what that's like."
"No, I don't," Vanitas said matter-of-factly. "But I do know I don't wanna lose you. When those vines attacked you, and when you fainted, and then yesterday with the Heartless…" He shook his head. "I was just so worried. I— I've never felt this way about anyone…"
Aqua smiled softly, a certain gentleness in her eyes spreading warmth through his chest. Vanitas swore his broken heart skipped a beat. "You're a good person, Vanitas."
"I'm not—"
"Yes, you are!" Aqua insisted.
The warm feeling was suddenly gone. "No, I'm not," Vanitas growled. He was barely a person, much less a good one. No matter how many positive emotions he was able to feel, no matter how much he cared about Aqua, some things were impossible to change. "I was Xehanort's apprentice for years, Aqua. I helped him do this; forging the X-Blade was only half my goal. Plunging the Worlds into a Keyblade War was something I wanted just as much as my Master."
"Did you?" Aqua asked boldly. "Or was that just what you were told?"
Vanitas didn't have an answer— not one Aqua would like, at least. The Worlds deserved to end— to be destroyed for allowing an empty creature like himself to exist in a state of such perpetual agony, for having no troubles at all while he alone had to suffer like this… His hatred of everyone and everything would make him strong enough to forge the X-Blade and begin the War that would've brought that suffering to everyone else. Or at least, that was what Vanitas had believed for the past four years.
And now? Well, now that didn't matter anymore. The Worlds had fallen even without the X-Blade. Vanitas's mission had failed, yet the end result was the same. His only solace was that he and Aqua were still alive. Whatever had happened to all the talking animals and pretty Princesses was none of his concern. Aqua was far more important than any of them.
What was the point in arguing with her now? This wouldn't convince her that he wasn't the same monster he'd been three weeks ago, nor would it do their newborn friendship any favors. But at the same time he needed to prove he wasn't just some mere pawn of Xehanort's. He wasn't a pet.
"I knew my own actions, and I took them. I'm not some mindless puppet," Vanitas said defensively.
Aqua gave him a strange look. "That's not what I'm saying. What I meant was, you were just a kid; Xehanort didn't give you a choice."
"So? I'm not a kid anymore."
She blew out a long breath. "You remind me of Terra, sometimes. And before you say anything, he's not stupid. Neither of you are," Aqua said as soon as Vanitas opened his mouth to protest. "What I mean is, Terra has low self-esteem. He won't forgive himself even for the tiniest mistakes. He still blames himself for the Master's death— he thinks it's his fault."
"Well, ain't it?"
Aqua shook her head. "No. It was Xehanort," she said solemnly.
So the old man had lied. Not surprising.
"Terra says he doesn't know why the Master tried to kill Ven," Aqua continued. "But Ven said Master Eraqus was going to destroy him to prevent the X-Blade from being forged. How could the Master do something like that?" She wrung her hands in her lap, sounding more and more distressed with every word. "I know the X-Blade is dangerous, but… but killing Ven?!"
Vanitas put a hand over hers to calm her. "Ventus made his decision, too. He knew if we clashed the X-Blade would be forged and the Keyblade War would begin, but he wanted to save you anyway. And when I told him destroying the X-Blade would shatter his heart too, he didn't hesitate; he was willing to risk his life to protect you." His thoughts turned to last night's horrific nightmare— his own monstrous visage, teeth dripping with Aqua's blood…
He would never hurt her again. He'd done that enough already.
"S-sorry," Vanitas whispered, his head tilted down so his hair fell into his eyes. He knew he should say more than that. He'd done so much to cause Aqua pain— things he'd said and things he'd done…
Aqua slowly turned to him, mouth slightly agape. "…What— what did you just say?"
He shifted uncomfortably, not meeting her gaze. "I… I said…" Vanitas took a deep breath. "Aqua, I'm sorry." He finally looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. "I'd be lying if I said I regret what I did to Ventus. If I hadn't gone along with Xehanort's scheme, he would've just killed me— thrown me away and found some other tool to do his dirty work. And I'd never—" Vanitas swallowed thickly and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I'd never have met you," he whispered before sighing deeply. "Maybe that's just an excuse. But I do regret everything I've done to hurt you, Aqua. I'm sorry."
She blinked a few times, eyes wide with disbelief until they softened, a gentle smile spreading across her lips. "I forgive you, Vanitas. For everything."
"You… you do?" he asked slowly, not daring to hope.
"Of course I do, silly!" Aqua giggled. "I've forgiven you before, haven't I?"
The Mandrake in his chest dissolved at her words. "Y-yeah…" Vanitas laughed in relief.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, her grin broadening. "And here I figured you didn't even know what 'sorry' meant," she teased.
"H-hey! It's not like I've ever needed to say it before."
"Uh huh. Well, you'll have plenty of time to practice once we return to the Realm of Light. The first thing you can do is apologize to Ven for breaking his wooden Keyblade."
Vanitas groaned. "You can't be serious! I told you he's outgrown that childish toy."
"That Keyblade was special to Ven," Aqua scolded lightly. "Terra made it for him— carved it by hand."
"I know."
"You know?"
"Uh…" Vanitas hesitated. Could he trust her with this information? Just confess another one of his abilities? He studied Aqua's face, her expression a mixture of confusion and innocent curiosity.
…Yes, he decided. He could.
"It's not just his location that I can sense," Vanitas explained. "I've always been able to feel a little of what Ventus is feeling, know a little of what he knows… especially his positive emotions. Comes from sharing a heart, I suppose. It ain't a two-way street, of course— he doesn't get any feedback from me. Not without my direct input, anyway." He recalled the time he'd shared the memory of his birth with Ventus, just before the Graveyard. That had been painful for both of them, to the point Vanitas had been horribly sick afterwards.
"Sometimes I forget you two used to be the same person…" Aqua mused, an inquisitive look in her eyes. "What do you remember from when you were Ventus?"
"Not much," Vanitas shrugged. "He— I've been Xehanort's apprentice for as far as I can remember. We were twelve when we were split. The week or so before that is a little blurry, mostly fragments— but anything further back is just blank."
Aqua bit her lip and frowned. "You were robbed of a childhood. Both of you. Maybe… maybe that's why Ven always seemed so young. He was trying to make up for lost time."
"I think I did too, when I could," Vanitas said, then mentally kicked himself. He didn't need to share that.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing… Just some stupid kiddie stuff." He scuffed his boot against the golden tile.
"I doubt it's stupid," Aqua said softly.
Should he tell her about this, too? No, he'd spilled enough secrets for one day. "Trust me; it's really boring."
"Well, alright." Aqua frowned thoughtfully. "If you know what Ventus is thinking, then… do you know why he used to be afraid of Keyblades? He was never able to remember why."
Vanitas gave her a sideways glance, subconsciously running his hand over a scar. "I think you already know the answer to that question."
Her eyes widened in understanding before she lowered her gaze. "I wish I could've been there for you."
"There's nothing you could've done. But you're here now, and we still have each other, right? That's gotta count for something."
"More than you can imagine." She reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair from his face. "Maybe we can't change or forget the past… but we can learn from it."
Vanitas nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning against her shoulder. Aqua reciprocated the gesture, running her hand up and down his back. He exhaled and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.
Isn't this backwards? I'm the one supposed to be comforting her, right?
Vanitas slid around to fully face Aqua, placing his knees on either side of her and straddling her lap.
"What are you doing?" she gasped as he drew her into a tight embrace.
"Hugging you," he answered simply. Wasn't it obvious? Vanitas placed one hand between her shoulder blades to keep her from toppling backwards and used the other to stroke her blue hair. It was as soft as Cotton Cloudcandy against his fingers.
Aqua leaned into his chest after a few moments, hugging him in return. "You're really heavy," she mumbled into his shoulder.
Vanitas snorted and continued petting her hair. "Things are better between us, now. Aren't they?"
"Mhm," Aqua nodded and pulled back. "Vanitas, I think… I'm ready to spar with you, if you still want to."
"Really?!" He bolted up in his eagerness, a big smile on his face.
"Now, I don't want to hurt you—"
"Shut up, Aqua! I already told you it's fine. I don't mind if you hurt me."
"Don't say that!" she suddenly shouted, startling him. "Vanitas please, never say that." Her cheerful manner had been replaced by a serious tone. "Maybe we shouldn't…"
Vanitas found himself both touched and annoyed by Aqua's concern. On the one hand, he didn't exactly enjoy being on the receiving end of her Keyblade's teeth— but on the other, combat was fun for him. Didn't she know what a thrill it was to fight her? A little pain was nothing next to that rush. Vanitas couldn't let this opportunity slip away, not when it was so close.
"Aqua, please," he implored. "I need this."
She still looked uncertain.
"It'll be okay. I trust you— I feel safe with you." Safer than he felt with anyone.
Her eyes widened and then softened at his words. "…Yes, alright."
"Awesome!" Vanitas grinned. He grabbed Aqua's wrist and pulled her to her feet— pausing before sliding his hand down to entwine his fingers with hers. Much more comfortable. "Come on, then!" he said enthusiastically, and headed towards the ballroom with Aqua, hand-in-hand.
Thanks for reading!