Chapter 12: Beauty and Beast
It had taken a few days for Vanitas to fully recover from his injury, and a couple more to clear out the remaining Heartless from the Castle of Dreams. He and Aqua had searched every floor from top to bottom, from the deepest dungeon to the highest tower, and yet had found no leads nor methods of escape.
When they'd finished securing the final storage room the day before last, Aqua had simply collapsed on an empty crate and while she hadn't cried, Vanitas could tell she was absolutely devastated. He'd sat next to her and held her for a while, smoothing her hair and telling her everything would be alright. Eventually, Aqua had allowed him to carry her back to bed, where she stayed for the rest of the day and most of the next. In fact, she'd spent most of yesterday sleeping. Vanitas tried not to worry about it too much. Besides, the longer Aqua slept, the more time he got to spend in her angelic presence.
Today was one such morning.
Vanitas was lounging in the royal suite, having woken up early due to a very needy blue Flood nuzzling him awake. Instead of receiving its desired back rubs, Bleu had been subsequently banished to the foot of the bed, where it had curled up and shot him the nastiest glare an Unversed could manage before feigning sleep.
The pesky Flood dealt with, Vanitas turned his gaze towards Aqua's peacefully sleeping form. Despite the darkness of the room, his night vision could still pick up on the very dim light given off by the vase of moonflowers resting on the bedside table. It was certainly enough for him to admire Aqua's beauty— her delicate eyelashes and flawless skin, the curtains of long blue hair framing her face, her pink lips which were parted slightly as her chest rose and fell with gentle breaths…
Overcome by a desire to touch her, Vanitas shifted in the pile of plush pillows and blankets to cuddle up closer to Aqua, careful not to wake her as his fingers lightly brushed against her warm skin. Tactile sensations were still an odd thing to get used too, and Vanitas still found himself occasionally flinching at rough textures and unexpected temperatures. Other sensations were fascinating, such as the softness of Aqua's hair, and he couldn't help but let his touch linger whenever she held his hand.
Vanitas smiled as he leaned his head on Aqua's soft chest and closed his eyes, listening to her slow yet steady heartbeat through the thin fabric of her nightgown and taking in the sweet scent of her Light.
It was times like these that Vanitas was truly at peace.
Ever since he'd begun sleeping with Aqua, Vanitas's nights had been much more restful. While his frequent nightmares were as horrible as ever, they didn't last long and quickly calmed into a dreamless sleep. Something still troubled him, however. Before the last few weeks, Vanitas's nightmares had typically been of Master Xehanort's tort— training, or of his own Unversed turning against him. Terrible dreams to be sure, but not unexpected. However, ever since that first night he and Aqua had shared a bed, he'd only dreamed of one thing— himself, that monster with his face, violently devouring Aqua's heart.
Aqua claimed he wasn't an abomination, but she had no idea what he dreamed of at night.
Vanitas didn't want to know what that nightmare meant; he only knew that it scared him to death. That fear had begun to spill over into his waking hours, and he worried Aqua might've picked up on his inner turmoil. Why else would she be avoiding him?
He felt like his heart was being pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, Vanitas was glad Aqua would stay right here with him where she belonged, but on the other he felt guilty that she was obviously so depressed. Vanitas hated seeing her like this. All he wanted was for her to be happy— here, with him. Forever.
Vanitas steeled himself, forcing down his guilt. Things were better this way. Aqua would see that eventually.
While the Castle of Dreams was finally clear of Heartless, the gardens were another story. Vanitas would sometimes glance out a window and catch a glimpse of yellow eyes lurking amongst the trees. The sight always gave him pause. Neoshadows were probably still prowling about the Castle grounds, and even if they weren't, the Heartless in general were still a threat to his and Aqua's happiness. If Vanitas wanted this sanctuary to be truly safe, he'd have to deal with them sooner than later. There was nothing more important than protecting Aqua and this fragile little life he'd carved out for himself in the Castle of Dreams; to do that, he'd have to get stronger.
What're you protecting her from? The Heartless, or yourself?
Vanitas grit his teeth. He knew what he had to do.
He rolled over and reluctantly slid out of bed, careful not to disturb Aqua's sleep as he left her warmth and softness behind. Bleu perked up and chittered quietly as his feet touched the cool tile floor.
Watch over her and don't follow me, he mentally commanded the Unversed, still unsure if it would follow his orders.
The Flood tilted its head in curiosity, but stayed put.
Good enough.
Vanitas dressed as silently as he could and caught a quick breakfast before heading for a secluded spot down one of the hallways. He stepped into an empty chamber before locking the door behind himself. He'd learned Aqua would knock if she wanted to come in.
She didn't need to see this. He'd be breaking his promise… But then, he'd already broken it twice already. A little pain was a small sacrifice to keep her safe, and besides— this was better in the long run. Aqua had said he didn't need to be useful to her, but that was impractical— just wishful thinking. The Heartless didn't care about such things. Vanitas needed to train, and the Unversed had always made for the perfect opponents.
Vanitas reached into his heart and searched for negative emotions. They were sluggish and difficult to coax out, but they did come. In a flash of black smoke, he soon had several of the Dark creatures, a group just shy of a dozen— mostly purple Floods and a single black Archraven. Irritatingly, more than one Mandrake was among them, betraying his Guilt. The Floods quivered with nervous energy while the others stared at him placidly, awaiting his instruction.
He summoned Void Gear and set his features into a hard glare, raising his Keyblade in a combat stance. The Unversed around him tensed. They knew what was coming; they always did. The Unversed couldn't intentionally harm their master. Usually, some would attempt to hide or flee, but they couldn't in these cramped quarters. Instead a shudder ran through all of them and they hunkered down, taking on defensive postures.
Vanitas tightened his grip on his Keyblade. This should be easy. He'd done this hundreds of times… But now he found that he couldn't bring himself to kill them.
Why not? What's wrong with me?
His thoughts drifted to Bleu as he gazed into the Unversed's unblinking red eyes. The unusual little creature had helped Aqua in her battle against the Invisibles, and had also —according to her— helped save his own life. Bravery wasn't a quality Vanitas would expect from an Unversed, especially not one made of Fear, but the Flood had helped both him and Aqua when they needed it most. It had manifested the same night Vanitas had started having those beastly nightmares, created out of his desire to protect Aqua.
Aqua adored Bleu, and in turn it —no, he— adored her. Vanitas could almost hear what she would say, her voice reverberating within his mind…
'They're a part of you. You can't kill them.'
Void Gear suddenly felt heavy in his hand; he let it drop to his side. He… he couldn't do it. He couldn't break his promise to Aqua.
Pathetic.
Ignoring the voice's taunt, Vanitas dismissed his Keyblade and turned to unlock the door, leaving it open as he stepped out into the hall. The Unversed followed him, observing him curiously now that they no longer felt in danger.
"Just… go," Vanitas murmured to the Unversed, not even bothering to reabsorb them. "And stay the hell away from Aqua," he quickly amended. As long as they didn't hurt her, these Unversed were free to do as they pleased. Besides, the more Unversed he had around, the more they could keep the Heartless from invading the Castle, he reasoned. It surely wasn't just because he didn't want to feel all those negative emotions again…
Vanitas rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this?" he muttered to himself as he watched the Unversed meander off.
Not receiving any response, he went to go find Aqua.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Predictably, the door to the sewing room was closed. Vanitas knocked, rolling his eyes as he listened to the typical sounds of Aqua and the blue Flood scrambling around before letting himself in.
Aqua was sitting at the desk, still dressed in her powdery pink nightgown and fidgeting with her hands in her lap. "H-hello, Vanitas," she greeted, looking a little flustered.
Before he could respond, Vanitas was distracted by a sharp thump coming from the set of drawers on the other side of the room. He startled as Bleu raced over towards Aqua, the Unversed clambering up the wooden chair and into her lap. Vanitas blinked and swept his eyes over the table, taking in the odd tools and random shards of glass before noticing her damaged outfit lying off to the side. "Still trying to fix that thing, huh?" he indicated to her corset.
"Uh… Oh! Yes. Yes I am," Aqua said, snatching up the garment.
"Hmm." Vanitas shifted his weight and shoved his hands in his pockets.
Aqua had been spending a lot of time in the sewing room these past few days, working on repairing her outfit, which was in pretty bad shape after their battle with the Invisibles. Or at least that's what she claimed she'd been doing all this time. For whatever reason, Aqua didn't like him coming in here, and would only allow Bleu to watch her work. Vanitas narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, she was taking a suspiciously long time to repair her corset… But then again, it wasn't as if he knew how long it took to patch things up.
Vanitas brushed his paranoia aside and instead studied Aqua's face. Despite getting plenty of rest, she seemed tired— downcast, even. Was something wrong?
"You're looking a little blue," Vanitas pointed out. "Well, bluer than usual…" Bleu chirped from Aqua's lap. "No, not you."
She quietly giggled into her hand before glancing down at her corset with a small sigh. "I've been trying to keep my mind off things since… Well, since we still haven't found a way out of here. I haven't made much progress on this, either," Aqua admitted sadly, rubbing at a burn mark in the fabric. "I sewed this all by myself; it's one of the last parts of my old life I still have left…"
Vanitas rubbed the back of his neck. "Well… if you really wanna keep it…"
Aqua closed her eyes. "…No, I should get rid of it. It's been through so much, but it's not exactly salvageable at this point."
An old scrap of cloth didn't mean much to Vanitas, not when the only set of clothes he truly owned could repair itself. Still, he didn't want Aqua feeling so gloomy.
"Hey, uh… Maybe I could cheer you up? What do you usually do when you're upset?"
Aqua smiled shyly. "A hug would be nice…"
He raised his eyebrows in surprise before grinning. "I can do that."
Bleu jumped up onto the table as Vanitas wrapped his arms around Aqua's shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. She returned his embrace, resting her face against his chest; they stayed like that for several moments.
"Anything else?" Vanitas asked after they pulled apart, though he was reluctant to let her go.
Aqua leaned back in her chair. "Well, I used to go for walks in the woods to clear my head, but…"
"The Land of Departure wasn't exactly brimming with Heartless," he finished for her.
She shook her head. "We shouldn't risk it. Not after what happened on the tower bridge."
Vanitas winced, massaging the spot where the Orcus's blade had pierced through his torso. It was true that he didn't want to venture into the gardens, but they would have to deal with the Heartless eventually. "Hey, what about when we went to the greenhouse? You were pretty enthusiastic back then."
"Yes, but… that was before I almost lost you," she whispered.
Obviously having sensed Aqua was upset, Bleu climbed up to sit on her shoulder, nuzzling her cheek. She scratched him under the chin; Vanitas felt an odd pang of jealousy towards his wayward emotion.
"…Well, you didn't," he said with emphasis. "And it's not like we haven't been fighting the Heartless these past few days— or the entire time we've been here, really. If going outside makes you feel better, then let's do it. Look on the bright side; the more Heartless we clear out, the safer this Castle is."
Aqua mulled it over, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "…Alright. Hey, maybe we'll find a way out through the gardens," she said, perking up.
That… wasn't exactly what he'd meant.
"Come on," Aqua stood suddenly, scooping Bleu up into her arms. "You can help me pick out some new clothes!"
"You want me to do that?" Vanitas asked in bewilderment as he glanced down at his own outfit— a black shirt and trousers with a dark grey vest. Was this what Aqua wanted to wear?
"Well, I wouldn't want to wear anything too 'tacky', now would I?" she teased. "I think your taste has improved enough."
"H-hey!"
Aqua ran off giggling with Bleu in her arms, Vanitas chasing not far behind. It didn't take long for him to catch up to her, and they walked the rest of the way back to the royal suite.
Vanitas sat on the bed and Aqua plopped Bleu down on a pillow next to him. Bleu warbled up at him and he crossed his arms, pointedly ignoring the Flood.
Aqua pulled out various dresses, blouses, and other items of clothing from the wardrobe and laid them on the bed along with her classic metal boots, black stockings, and pink chest straps with her silver pendant. "So, what do you think would look best on me?" she asked, holding up two different tops.
Vanitas shrugged. "I don't really care what you wear, Aqua. You could even go naked; I wouldn't mind."
He startled as Aqua's face flushed bright pink and she proceeded to have some sort of wheezing fit.
"Very funny," she deadpanned after regaining some composure. "Seriously, what do you think would look good?"
Vanitas blinked in confusion. He hadn't been joking, that time.
He looked through the choices Aqua had offered and picked out a black top and matching skirt, along with black fingerless gloves as an accessory.
"I can't wear all black," she protested.
"Why not? It looks good on you," Vanitas said defensively. "Besides, you'll still have pink." He pointed to the chest straps laying on the bed.
"That's true…" Aqua exhaled, shaking her head as she smiled good-naturedly. "Go on; let me get dressed. I'll meet you in the apothecary."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
After a quick visit to the apothecary to replenish their Hi-Potion supply, Vanitas and Aqua strode through the greenhouse with Bleu trailing behind.
Vanitas couldn't keep his eyes off Aqua as she walked beside him. She was wearing the black, sleeveless blouse with a high collar he'd picked out for her as well as a white skirt and her usual black stockings. Aqua wore the black fingerless gloves he'd chosen as well, and her pendant and metal boots glimmered with every step she took. The clothes complimented her well, and as usual he felt drawn to the vibrant blue of her hair and eyes.
"You're staring," Aqua pointed out.
"I simply appreciate beautiful things, that's all," he grinned.
She blushed and quickly looked away.
Upon reaching the door to the outside garden, Aqua paused, turning and bending down to be eye-level with Bleu. "Alright Bleu, you have to stay inside," she told the Flood. "We don't know what we might encounter out there; it could be dangerous for you."
Bleu hung his head in disappointment and warbled sadly.
"We'll take you next time, okay?"
Seriously, stay put, Vanitas mentally commanded with a smirk. Finally, he'd have Aqua all to himself without the Unversed tagging along. Bleu narrowed his eyes, but Vanitas ignored him and stepped outside. What did he know.
The two Keyblade Wielders continued on through the vegetable garden, stopping just short of the gap in the tall stone fence.
Aqua glanced at Vanitas. "Are you sure about this?" she asked in concern. "There could be Neoshadows —or worse— out there." Aqua was obviously recalling their previous encounter with his second-least favorite Heartless. "I don't want you to go through that again."
"What, and let you go it alone? I'll be fine," he waved a hand dismissively, ignoring the creeping feeling at the back of his neck. "If anything bad happens you'll just patch me up with Curaga, right?"
"I'd rather you not get hurt at all," she frowned. "I really should teach you that spell."
Vanitas chuckled. "I've been thinking the same thing. Later, okay?"
He steadied his nerves as they stepped out of the vegetable garden and onto the main path. With how these past few weeks had been going, Vanitas half-expected a pack of Heartless to immediately burst from the trees, yet the woods remained eerily silent.
In fact, they made it all the way up to the river before Vanitas felt the telltale presence of Darkness.
"There's a Heartless nearby," he warned, summoning his Keyblade.
Aqua frowned even as she copied his action. "I can't smell anything."
"Look there, in the water." Vanitas pointed to the river where two beady yellow eyes shimmered beneath its surface.
"Good catch. The water must be masking its scent."
Having been detected, the Heartless slowly rose from the river, several more following after it. They were bulbous creatures with thin, clawed wings and several wriggling liquid tentacles.
"Water Cores," Vanitas observed. "Alright, what do you think? Ice? Lightning?"
"Ice should do it," Aqua replied.
The Water Cores swelled before lobbing globs of freezing cold water at them. They both dodged, Aqua cartwheeling out of the way and countering with Blizzara. One Water Core froze solid and plummeted to the rocky riverbank, shattering on impact.
"Piece of cake!" she cheered.
"That's nothing; watch this," Vanitas smirked. He swept Void Gear in a wide arc, an icy blast of Dark Blizzaga crystalizing the remaining Water Cores and accidentally freezing the river solid. "Uh… whoops?"
"Well, that's one way of dealing with them," Aqua teased.
Vanitas peered over the river's frosty edge. A few more Heartless were frozen in place under the thick sheet of black ice, their yellow eyes glowing yet motionless.
"You're getting better with those ice spells," Aqua pointed out, walking up to him and dismissing her Keyblade.
"I've been practicing," he replied smugly.
"I can tell," she said, her eyes sparkling as she held out her hand. "Good job."
Vanitas brightened at her praise, interlacing his fingers with hers.
They continued their journey through the gardens, holding hands as they fell into a comfortable silence. Vanitas gazed up at the towering trees, the dark canopy of leaves stretching over them and almost completely obscuring the empty sky above. It reminded him of the Dwarf Woodlands— the sort of spooky scenery that would perhaps unnerve others, but he found it relaxing.
Eventually, the forest trail forked into two, one path diverging into a little dirt road leading up to a white gazebo. Vanitas and Aqua stepped up into the wooden structure and sat together on a bench.
Aqua quickly drew her arms around herself, shivering.
"You cold?" Vanitas asked, suddenly concerned.
"Mhm."
"That Water Core didn't splash you, did it?"
"No… I've just been feeling a bit chilly, lately."
"Well, here; let me warm you up." Vanitas pulled her into a gentle embrace and Aqua leaned into him, resting her face against the crook of his neck.
Aqua breathed in deeply, nuzzling his hair. "You smell like cinnamon," she mused absentmindedly.
Vanitas blinked. "Uh, what are you doing?"
She drew back quickly, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. "I-it just reminds me of the Land of Departure, that's all."
"Wait, seriously? You sure that's not just my shampoo?"
Aqua nodded, looking a bit sheepish before turning her gaze towards the dark forest. "Vanitas… how long have we been here?"
"Uh…" He racked his brain. "A month… no, two months? Give or take a week, I suppose."
"You're losing track of time, too?" she asked, her voice oddly small.
"I just didn't think it was that important," Vanitas shrugged.
Aqua frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just… It feels like it's been longer than that…" Aqua gazed up at the trees, a forlorn look overshadowing her eyes. "Do you remember what birds sound like…? Or what sunshine feels like?"
Honestly, Vanitas hadn't thought much about the Realm of Light in a long time, other than as a place he was desperate to avoid. More and more, it all seemed like such a distant memory, or perhaps like a nightmare. The Castle of Dreams had become his waking reality.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm… slipping," she continued at his silence. "Usually I feel fine, but today… I don't know." Her fingers tightened around the pendant protecting her heart. "Part of me wonders if I'm starting to lose hope…"
"It's… not like we need to leave right away." Or ever, he added privately.
Aqua shook her head. "We need to go home as soon as we can."
"…You are home," Vanitas murmured.
Several silent seconds passed before she turned to him, questioningly. "…What?"
"This Castle is your home now, Aqua." He took her hands in his, rubbing her knuckles with his thumbs. "Here, with me."
Aqua studied him in confusion, searching his eyes. "You… don't want to leave?" she questioned in disbelief. "But… Vanitas, don't you understand? This Realm is dangerous. I can't stay here any longer; my friends need me."
"No, you don't understand," he said a little more forcefully. "I just wanna stay here with you. We can be happy here, Aqua— together, forever. Just the two of us."
Aqua gawked at him, open-mouthed. "B-but—! You promised you would help me find Terra and Ven!" she pleaded, looking hurt.
Why did it always come back to them?
"I said I'd help if we get out of the Realm of Darkness," Vanitas stressed with just a hint of a growl. "Which we won't."
Her eyes widened before she yanked her hands from his grasp. "I-I don't believe this…" she muttered to the wooden floor before glancing back at him. "I trusted you…"
Vanitas flinched and looked away, unable to meet her disappointed gaze as a twinge of guilt twisted in his heart.
"How long have you been planning this?" Aqua asked quietly.
When had this World become his sanctuary…?
"…Since you said I might have Light in me," he murmured. Had that really been so long ago?
Aqua drew in a sharp breath. She stood without looking at him and stepped several paces away, stopping just before the gazebo stair. She hugged her arms around herself and silently turned her gaze towards the starless void above. "…Why?"
That one, simple word cut through him like a knife.
"The Light always leaves me," he mumbled in explanation. "You'll leave me."
She turned around, regarding him warily. "What are you talking about?"
Vanitas's hands involuntarily curled into fists. "Don't pretend like you don't know!" he snapped, standing suddenly. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've been avoiding me."
Aqua startled, taken aback even as her face contorted with guilt. "I just need some space! That's normal, Vanitas!"
He clenched his teeth together. Normal; something he could never be.
"You know I care about you," she continued.
"But you care about them, more!" he shot back.
"Them? Wha—"
"Ventus and Terra!" Vanitas shouted. "Look; let's say by some miracle you do get them back. They'll hate me, Aqua." It didn't matter that Terra apparently knew he'd saved Aqua's life. That stupid idiot wouldn't understand. And as for Ventus, he didn't need that loser's forgiveness. "When it really comes down to it, you'll choose them over me."
Aqua stared at him in astonishment. "You— you really think I'd abandon you? Light, Vanitas. I thought you trusted me…"
His eyes widened and his mouth turned dry. "I-I— do! I just…" Vanitas stood there, wringing his hands. He did trust Aqua, didn't he…?
She's not gonna see it that way. What did you expect? You'd just go and admit that you lied to her and she'd really be okay with that? Look at her; she already hates you, idiot.
She doesn't hate me! And I didn't lie!
Pathetic excuses, as always. You're just a weak little loser… same as Ventus. You keep saying you'll protect Aqua, but it's been her who's been saving your cowardly ass day after day. The Master would never accept you back in the sorry state you're in. Unless… Vanitas imagined a bloody, sharp-toothed grin behind the words, Well, you already know what to do…
'Go take what Ventus owes you, and take Aqua's life!' his Master's orders rang in his head as loud and clear as they had that fateful day in the Keyblade Graveyard.
"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Vanitas screamed, pressing his hands over his ears and screwing his eyes shut. His blood was pumping fast, the Unversed clawing at the insides of his heart. He could feel a thick, Dark mist creeping up his spine and along his arms.
"Vanitas…?" Aqua's voice pierced through his swirling thoughts like a ray of sunshine through murky fog. "No one's talking…"
His eyes snapped open, staring at her in mortification. She was peering back at him in shock, her hands clasped over her pendant.
Oh, she's really gonna think you're crazy, now…
No, he couldn't break down in front of her— not like this. Vanitas attempted to take a steadying breath. The black smoke dissipated, but he could still feel the Unversed's presence weighing heavily in his chest.
"I-I'm not going back," Vanitas declared, his voice shaky. "Not to him."
"Who—?"
"Xehanort," he hissed. "I keep thinking of what my Master would want me to do, like I'm still his obedient little dog on a leash…" Vanitas clutched at his arms, digging his fingers in so hard that it hurt. "How sick is that? I hate him so much, but a part of me is still… loyal," he spat the last word.
"Vanitas…" Aqua stepped forward and cupped his face in her palm. "You were with him for four years. You just need more time to heal."
He gently pulled her hand away from his face, his fingers lingering around her wrist. "If you go after Xehanort… If you try to get Terra back… he'll kill you," Vanitas whispered, his whole body trembling. "He'll kill you… or he'll make me kill you."
A moment of silence passed between them.
Aqua's lips pressed into a hard, thin line. "That is not going to happen," she asserted with such raw conviction it was almost startling. "I've already fought Xehanort in Radiant Garden—"
"You survived, you mean," he snapped, his grip on her wrist tightening. "Yeah, and it's a fucking miracle you're still alive. You said a Heartless attacked him, right? And he had amnesia, too? It's obviously worn off by now, if he's the reason the Worlds are falling to Darkness." Vanitas grit his teeth. "Don't you get it? Soon, there'll be nothing left to return to!"
"There is!" Aqua cried, twisting out of his grasp. "There are friends we can count on!"
He scoffed and turned away.
"Look at me, Vanitas!" Aqua insisted. "We won't be alone. We'll bring Ven back, and Master Yen Sid and Mickey will help us, too."
Vanitas clenched his fists.
The elderly wizard and the rat king… Maybe they would welcome Aqua back with open arms, but him? No, they hated the Darkness. They'd convince her to reject him, and even if she wanted to keep him around for a little while, those two wouldn't allow it. Yen Sid was an old Master of the Light; Aqua would listen to him. And once she was back in the Realm of Light, once she was reunited with Ventus and Terra, she would forget all about him. Aqua wouldn't hate him… but she wouldn't need him, either. What use would she have for a weakling like YOU?
Vanitas flinched before chuckling bitterly. "It's always about your friends, isn't it…"
"That includes you, Vanitas!"
"Does it?" he hissed, narrowing his eyes. "Well maybe I don't want to hear about your stupid friends anymore!" he yelled, pushing her away. Aqua stumbled back, gasping in shock. "Ventus and Terra are gone, so why should it matter?! What about us?! Right here and now?!"
"Vanitas! What's gotten into you?!"
Vanitas snarled, turning away. He didn't want this; he and Aqua weren't supposed to fight anymore, but the words spilled out of him like molten venom and they wouldn't stop. "What's so great about Ventus and Terra anyway, huh? How many times have they saved your life?!" He scrubbed at his eyes as a sudden hot flow of tears poured down his cheeks. "H-how many times have they cooked with you, or— or s-slept with you, or played chess?!"
A bark of fake laughter forced its way out of his throat. "Some 'friends'! What have they done to deserve you? Ventus always liked Terra better than you, and Terra never payed proper attention to you; you said it yourself! Why should you risk your life for them when they don't even care about you—? Not like I do."
It felt like thick, hot tar was boiling up inside him as he turned back to face her, his voice rising in volume with every word. "But I care! I care so much, Aqua! You… You're my everything; not theirs. I've been right here by your side this entire time, but you're still thinking of them! They aren't even here, but they're all you ever talk about! I won't let a comatose zombie and an empty husk take you away from me! No one can! You're MINE!"
"DAMN IT, Vanitas!"
Vanitas flinched and shrank back at Aqua's sudden shout. She appeared absolutely livid and he immediately knew he'd crossed a line. "D-did you just—?"
"Yes, I swore! I swore because you—!" she jabbed a finger at his chest, "Just don't get it, do you!"
"Get what?" he asked meekly, his mind still reeling.
"That you're my best friend, Vanitas!"
Vanitas froze. He couldn't have heard that right— could he?! Vanitas struggled with his words, gaping like a fish. "'Best' friend?" he finally managed to squeak out. "B-but that's—! What about Ventus?! And Terra…?"
Aqua squeezed her eyes shut and drew in a deep breath before slowly letting it out again. She opened her eyes, suddenly looking very sad. "That's what this is about, isn't it. You're jealous. Vanitas, Terra and Ven need me, and I need them. You can't keep me locked away in this Castle forever. I'm not a doll."
Vanitas stared in open-mouthed horror. "I— I didn't mean— I never said you were a— I'm not like him." Vanitas pleaded weakly before collapsing to his knees.
Aqua bent down to be level with him, gently placing her hands on his shoulders. "I'm not saying that. I would never say that."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" He began to weep uncontrollably, gulping down gasps of air between shaking sobs.
"Oh, Vanitas…" Aqua drew him into a close embrace. "I knew there was something going on with you; I should've said something…" She rubbed a hand up and down his back. "Is there really nothing for you in the Realm of Light…?"
He shook his head, hiccuping between sobs. "I-if I go back to there, I'll b-be little more than a shadow…"
"I don't know what horrible things you've been telling yourself, but it stops now," Aqua said firmly as she petted his hair.
"I d-don't know how…" Vanitas whimpered through his tears. "All my life I've been like this. The better I feel, the closer I g-get to you, the more I feel like I d-don't deserve any of this… like I'm still just a monster and all this is gonna disappear…"
"Shush, it'll be okay…" Aqua comforted him, rocking him back and forth.
Vanitas didn't know how long they stayed like that, whether it was an hour or an eternity, but honestly it would feel the same either way.
Eventually, his tears began to dry up and he lifted his head off her shoulder.
"Feeling any better?" Aqua asked softly.
"Y-yeah…" Vanitas rubbed his face. "Yeah, I think so. Sorry." He looked up, noticing the wetness in her eyes. "You're crying…"
"Yes, because my best friend is hurting so much on the inside, and I feel like nothing I say or do can fix it…"
"That's not true, not true at all," he objected. "You've done so much for me, Aqua."
"I'm glad," she sniffled. "And I'm glad I don't have to face this World alone."
Vanitas chewed on the inside of his cheek, averting his eyes. "…Sorry you had to be stuck down here with me. I bet you would've been better off if Ventus or Terra were down here with you instead, huh."
"That's not true," Aqua implored. "If you weren't here, who'd cook with me, or appreciate my Wayfinder, or call me b-beautiful…?" She gave a choked sob, wiping her eyes with the back of her glove. "I couldn't do this without you, Vanitas. It's true that I miss Terra and Ven, and they'll always be my friends, but that doesn't mean I don't need you too, or that I don't want you around. I'd never abandon my best friend."
"…I'm such an idiot," he mumbled. "This whole time I've been thinking that you'd… Fuck."
"Vanitas…" she said softly.
"I've screwed up real bad, haven't I. You'll never trust me again…"
Aqua smiled sadly. "I wouldn't say never." She lifted his chin with a finger. "Give me a day, okay?"
He truly didn't deserve her kindness. A fresh wave of hot tears ran down his face.
"No more secrets, alright?" she insisted, reaching up to wipe his eyes. "You shouldn't keep your feelings all bottled up inside; it's not healthy."
Vanitas nodded, unsure if he could speak.
"Anything else I should know?"
He hesitated. There were a million things he could confess to Aqua, from his broken promises to the murderous intent he'd been harboring towards Sora, but perhaps some dirty secrets really were best kept to himself.
"Well…" Vanitas cleared his throat, which was raw and sore from crying. "There might be a few extra Unversed hanging around today, so be careful," he settled on that, instead.
Aqua gave a hiccuping laugh. "I'm not too concerned about that," she indicated to a certain blue blur who was scampering over towards them.
"We told you to stay inside!" Vanitas scolded as soon as the Flood was within earshot.
To his surprise, Bleu didn't immediately leap into Aqua's lap as he'd expected, but instead made a beeline straight for Vanitas and promptly bit him on the hand.
"Ow!" he shouted, shaking off the Unversed. "You little bastard—! What the hell was that for?!" The Unversed weren't supposed to be able to hurt their master directly, but this little Flood continued to amaze… Make Vanitas amazingly pissed off, that is.
Bleu gave a high-pitched growl and positioned his tiny body between Vanitas and Aqua, his antennae flattened low against his triangular head in an animalistic display of anger.
Vanitas stared at the little Unversed, his lips parted in bewilderment. Was he… protecting Aqua from himself?
"That Flood ain't right," he muttered under his breath.
"I think he's just upset you made me cry," Aqua observed mildly.
Vanitas winced, rubbing the back of his neck. "Okay, okay… Maybe I deserved that just a little…"
A smile tugged at Aqua's lips. "Come on, let's go back inside."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The two Keyblade Wielders entered the library, Aqua guiding Vanitas by the hand. She pulled him over to the circle of red couches and gently tugged him down to sit next to her. Bleu gave the pair a fleeting look, tilting his head as though assessing the situation before settling down before the lit fireplace.
"Alright, let me see," Aqua insisted.
"See what?"
"The bite, silly."
"Oh." Vanitas hadn't thought it was that big of a deal, simply shrugging it off after the initial pain. Bleu's tiny fangs hadn't even managed to break skin. He held out his hand, anyway.
Aqua held his hand between hers and cast Cure, the soothing warmth of the spell spreading up his aching arms.
"I could do this myself, you know…" Vanitas mumbled. "But thanks."
She contemplated him, her eyes a little worried. "…Why don't you think you deserve my friendship?"
The question caught him off guard. "I'd think that'd be obvious," he deflected lightly.
"Enlighten me."
Oh… She's serious.
Vanitas drew a breath. "I'm not exactly—"
Sane?
"…Stable," he confessed. "I'm… dangerous, and I'm scared I might… hurt you, someday."
"You've gotten a lot better at controlling the Unversed," Aqua pointed out. Bleu raised his head and chittered at her from the hearth. "Blue Floods notwithstanding."
"It's… not about them." Vanitas fidgeted, picking at a loose thread in the couch.
You really gonna tell her? Aren't you scared of what she'll think of you?
"Sometimes I have these dreams where I… I…"
"You mean your nightmares?"
He looked up sharply. She knew about those?
"Do you want to tell me about them?"
"…Not really."
"Alright."
His lips parted in surprise. He'd expected her to pry, but… Vanitas hesitated before speaking, his eyes flicking between her and the fireplace. "…In the dream, you get ki— hurt, 'cause of me, and I'm completely powerless to stop it."
Aqua frowned. "And that's what's got you so worried?"
He nodded.
"They're just bad dreams," she assured. "Everyone gets those, sometimes. Even me."
"That's different."
"How so?"
Vanitas swallowed nervously. "…'Cause you've got your Light to hold you back," he whispered. "Master Xehanort was right; I still can't control my Darkness. So how can I even begin to compare to someone so… well, perfect?"
Aqua shook her head. "I'm not a perfect person, Vanitas."
"Just 'cause you've got a little Darkness doesn't mean you're not—"
"Hey." She reached out and cupped his face with both hands. "Forget about Light and Darkness, okay? It's just us now, as people— who we are, not what we are." She sighed, pulling her hands into her lap. "I think we're both too hard on ourselves. The other day, on the tower bridge, I kept thinking I should've done something to prevent you from sacrificing yourself again— that I should've been stronger." Her fingers trembled. "I was so scared I was going to lose you…"
Vanitas placed his hand over hers, uncertain of what to say. He'd known Aqua had her own insecurities, but he never knew they ran this deep, nor that she shared similar fears.
Aqua inhaled slowly and looked him in the eye. "I meant it, what I said about killing Xehanort." She squeezed his hand. "But I won't drag you into this fight. You could stay at the Mysterious Tower, while Master Yen Sid, Mickey, and I could—"
He scoffed softly. "You know me better than that, Aqua. I won't let you go this alone."
She smiled in relief. "You should know, this isn't just about Terra and Ven. There're other people waiting for me to come back to the Realm of Light, too. We have to stop Xehanort from destroying any more Worlds. I just hope my mother's World is safe…"
Vanitas tilted his head curiously. Aqua rarely mentioned her mother, and hadn't spoken of a father at all, save for Master Eraqus. "…Do you miss your mom?"
Aqua's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Of course! And I'm sure she misses me, too."
"Do you think that— I mean, I don't remember her, but… Ventus must've had a mom, right? Do you think she misses me— I mean, him?"
"Vanitas…"
"Forget it. It's a stupid question. Doesn't matter, anyway," he muttered quickly. "It's not like I remember who she is, so there's no way of finding her. She could be in any World, if she's even still alive." What did his mother even look like? Probably blonde, with big blue eyes just like Ventus… Nothing like Vanitas at all. He dug his fingernails into his palms. "Besides… she'd want Ventus, not me. She wouldn't even recognize me like this. No one wants a monster for a son." Vanitas bit down hard on the inside of his cheek; he'd said too much.
Vanitas hadn't thought much about his parents —whoever they might be— but the more he thought about it, the wider a horrible, vast emptiness grew in his heart. His stupid eyes responded by manifesting more tears which he quickly wiped away on his sleeve. He had felt lonely, rejected, but never… abandoned. A Scrapper tried to claw its way out of his spine, but was smothered by Aqua's tight hug. Vanitas suddenly felt very young.
Idiot. You're sixteen, not a child. Only little kids need their parents.
Never mind that he was technically only four. Vanitas leaned into Aqua's embrace and buried his face in her shoulder, sobbing silently.
Stupid, stupid…
"P-please don't leave me…"
"Vanitas, I'm not leaving you. I'm right here." She ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed small circles down his back.
Vanitas nodded. Aqua… really wasn't going to leave him. For the first time ever, he truly believed it.
His sobs eventually turned to sniffles, and he finally lifted his head off her chest. "Sorry…" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Apparently, today was a good day for tears.
"There's nothing to apologize for."
Vanitas didn't know about that, but he decided not to press the issue.
Bleu leapt up on the couch, cautiously approaching Vanitas before licking at his hand.
"Oh, so you're being nice, now?" he huffed, running his fingers along the Unversed's back.
"It's good to see you two finally getting along," Aqua teased.
Vanitas snorted. "Yeah, yeah…" He scratched Bleu under the chin as he built up the courage for his next question. "Could you… tell me more about her?" he asked hesitantly. "Your mom, I mean?"
Aqua hummed thoughtfully. "Well, when I was a little girl, my mother and I had our own little bookshop in La Cité des Cloches— the City of Bells," she amended at his blank expression. "I must've read each book there a thousand times! Our house was on the second floor; it wasn't grand, but it was home." Aqua smiled nostalgically. "We made enough Munny to get by, and I even had some left over to feed our cats."
"Cats, huh?" They were one of the few animals Vanitas sort of tolerated, perhaps even liked. He found them somewhat relatable— efficient predators who were swift and silent and always on the hunt for prey. He wondered if their fur was as soft as it looked…
"Well, they weren't exactly mine," Aqua explained, bringing him out of his musings. "Just the local strays. I tried hiding it, at first; I thought I'd be in trouble for wasting Munny. But Mother encouraged it— helping others. I wish the other kids around the neighborhood had been so friendly…"
"What do you mean?" Vanitas assumed Aqua would've had tons of friends.
"They'd tease me about my hair. Blue isn't exactly common on my Homeworld."
"But it's beautiful!" Vanitas exclaimed. Startled, Bleu leapt from his lap and landed in an adjacent chair. "It's my favorite color."
"Really?" Aqua asked, a light flush dusting her cheeks. "I figured it was black."
"That's my second favorite," he grinned. "Come on, you gotta finish the story! I bet you kicked those kids' asses, huh."
"Not exactly," she grimaced. "So, one day they pushed it too far. One of the older boys tried to cut my hair—"
"He what?!"
"—So I ran and hid in the catacombs. I was terrified; it was so dark, and I'd heard rumors there were all sorts of ghosts and evil spirits haunting the place… Now that I think about it, I wonder if they were actually Heartless," she mused. "Anyway, just as I was sure I'd be lost forever, I remembered a lesson from one of my fairytales…"
Vanitas ground his teeth together as Aqua held out her closed hand, still fuming at the thought that some fucking brat had dared laid his hands on his Aqua—!
"'Have courage and be kind'," she beamed and opened her hand, a tiny white flame dancing in the center of her palm.
He deflated, all thoughts of revenge exhausted at the sight of Aqua's Light.
"I was able to summon a little light like this to guide my way home," she explained before the flame dissolved into a shimmer of sparkles. "That was the first time I ever used magic."
Oh…
Aqua's expression turned a little sad. "I was so excited to show Mother, but she was convinced I'd get locked up for witchcraft —or worse— if anyone found out, so I had to hide my magic. I was so upset; it was the first time she ever forbade me to do something."
"…She was worried for your safety," Vanitas realized.
"Mhm," Aqua confirmed.
"So… how'd you end up at the Land of Departure?" he inquired.
Aqua smiled sheepishly. "Well, as it turns out I'm a lot worse at hiding magic than I'd thought. One time, when I was ten years old —I remember this day so clearly— I was reading my favorite book in a tree in the front garden—"
"You climbed into a tree to read?" Vanitas interrupted incredulously.
"It was a good spot!" Aqua protested. "Anyway, I was up in the tree when Mother called me in for dinner. I was climbing down when I slipped and accidentally cast an Aero spell to cushion my fall —and wouldn't you know it— right in front of Master Eraqus!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Not that I knew who he was at the time, but apparently he'd been asking around the Worlds for 'odd' children —potential Keyblade Wielders, you know— and had been pointed to our house."
"Mother was suspicious, of course; she thought the Master was one of Judge Frollo's men come to take me away." Aqua tucked a strand of blue hair behind her ear. "But then he showed her some of his own powers and she was convinced he could help me— protect me and provide a safe place for me to practice my magic. I still visit her occasionally, once or twice a year if I can." She sighed and bit her lip. "I just hope not too much time has passed in the Realm of Light; she'll be worried sick…"
"I'm sure it hasn't been that long," Vanitas murmured.
"Thank you," Aqua smiled. "After that, Master Eraqus took me to the Land of Departure. Terra was already his apprentice, and I trained with him for about four years before Ven showed up, and— Well, I'm sure you know the rest."
"That's… quite the story." Vanitas leaned back into the couch cushions, trying to wrap his mind around it. He had a hard time imagining an Aqua who was clumsy or ran away from a fight, or who wasn't instantly beloved by everyone she met.
"Mhm. It's so funny, I actually found a copy of that same book here." Aqua stood and retrieved it from the table, holding it up. "My mother used to read me this as a bedtime story."
Vanitas scowled as he immediately recognized it. It was the storybook Aqua had been reading last month, the one written in a foreign language with a silver trim along its edges. "Oh. That book."
"What's wrong?" Aqua asked, perplexed.
Vanitas shifted and looked away, uncomfortable. "That's the book where the prince saves the girl from the horrible beast, right?"
She blinked in confusion. "Uhm, not exactly. Are you sure you read it?"
He crossed his arms. "…I skimmed it."
Aqua placed a hand on her hip and pursed her lips. "Vanitas, I don't think you've actually read this book."
"I… can't," he conceded reluctantly.
Aqua's eyebrows creased before her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh, of course!" She slapped a hand to her forehead. "I'm so silly, I should've thought of that…" She sat back down on the couch. "Here, let me read it to you. I'll translate."
"That's okay, you don't have to."
"I don't mind; besides, I really think you should hear this story. It'll make you feel better."
Vanitas sighed, dropping his arms to his sides. "…Alright, let's hear it."
Aqua's expression brightened. "Sit next to me so you can see the pictures."
He scooted closer and laid his head on her shoulder as she opened the book to the first page. Aqua began reading aloud while Vanitas listened, enraptured by both the story and the beautiful watercolor illustrations.
'Once upon a time, there was a poor merchant who had three daughters, the two eldest of which were greedy and vain, and demanded their father gift them jewels and riches. The youngest daughter, Beauty, was kindhearted and asked for nothing but a single rose. The father attempted to steal a rose from the garden of an enchanted castle, but was confronted by its owner— a hideous Beast. Fearing for his own life, the merchant offered the Beast his youngest daughter as penance. The Beast agreed, and Beauty was taken to his castle. At first terrified of the Beast, to her surprise she was treated not as a prisoner, but a princess. The Beast gifted Beauty finery and exquisite food, magical artifacts and libraries of vast knowledge. Every night the Beast asked Beauty to marry him, but she refused each time, as she had come to see him as merely a friend. Beauty began to dream of a kind, handsome Prince trapped within the Beast's castle, but when she went in search of him, she found nothing.
'Eventually Beauty became homesick, and asked the Beast to let her go. He did, on the promise that she would return within a week's time. Beauty agreed, and returned home with the riches he'd gifted her, telling her family all that had happened. Beauty's sisters were jealous of the wondrous gifts, while her father was disgusted at the mere thought that she might marry a Beast. Out of their own selfishness, they insisted she stay and never return to the castle. Wanting to please her family, Beauty did as instructed. Many months passed, and she began dreaming that something terrible had happened to the Beast. Against her family's wishes, she returned to the castle to find the Beast laying motionless in his garden, having died of a broken heart. Beauty cried over the Beast's body, proclaiming her love for him. By some miracle, he was revived and transformed into the Prince from her dreams.'
Vanitas let out a little gasp of shock. The gentle Prince and the fearsome Beast… were one and the same?! It felt as if some thorny, coiled thing in his heart was slowly unravelling and wisping away.
Aqua read on.
'The Beast —now Prince— informed Beauty that he had been cursed into beastly form by a wicked witch, and only through true love —in spite of his monstrous appearance— could the spell be broken. It had taken Beauty's kind heart to see through to his true nature. Beauty married the Prince and they both lived happily ever after. The end.'
As Aqua finished the story, Vanitas tilted his head, trying to make sense of the image on the final page. Beauty and the Prince —both dressed in white— were pressing their lips together with their eyes closed, looking content. "What're they doing with their mouths?"
"Huh? Oh…! They're kissing," Aqua blushed.
"'Kissing'?"
She blinked. "You don't know—? No, I suppose you wouldn't." She closed the book and set it aside. "A kiss is something you do when you love someone."
"Oh." That… didn't really explain anything. "Can you tell me more about love?"
"Uh—" Aqua fidgeted with her skirt. "Love is…" She cleared her throat. "It's when you care deeply about someone, with all your heart. So deeply that you'd do anything for them."
He didn't get it; what did that have to do with 'kissing'? Then again, there were plenty of normal gestures he didn't truly understand, like high-fives or why he wasn't supposed to leave his elbows on the table.
As he pondered this, Vanitas somehow ended up resting on his back with his hands clasped over his stomach and his head in Aqua's lap, staring up at the ceiling as she stroked his hair in an attempt to tame the wild black spikes.
There was something else bothering him about the story.
"I don't understand. How could Beauty love the Beast?" Vanitas asked, scrutinizing her with a troubled expression. "He was a… monster."
Aqua tilted her head thoughtfully. "…I think she saw past his exterior and realized that deep down in his heart, he was human."
Vanitas swallowed thickly and gave a brief glance over at Bleu, who was feigning sleep on a pillow.
Am I… am I really…?
"Vanitas," Aqua began gently, "Look at me. You're not a bad person, and you're not a monster."
"Then what am I?" he whispered.
"You're my best friend, Van."
Her smile was so bright he swore he'd gone blind. Vanitas doubled over and clutched at his chest, breathing hard.
"Van? Vanitas?!" Someone was shaking his arm; that was probably Aqua— Aqua, who had just called him… Just called him…
Vanitas pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to calm down. Bleu pawed at him and chittered worriedly, but he just waved him away.
Aqua peered at him, eyes wide with concern. "Are you alright?"
"I… Yeah. I'm okay." His hands were still trembling, but he managed to shake the dizziness from his mind.
"I'm so sorry, I just thought you'd like a nickname," she clarified, her fingers still lingering on his shoulder. "I didn't realize it would stress you out so much."
"That's not… I shouldn't have freaked out like that. It's just… Why did you call me 'Van'?" It sounded way too close to 'Ven'.
"Well, I thought about calling you 'Vani', but I was afraid you'd think it was too cute…"
Vanitas snorted. "Van is fine." 'Vani' sounded far too sugary sweet. He wanted to keep at least some of his dignity.
Aqua bit her lip. "Are you sure? I don't have to…"
"I want you to," he assured her.
Van…
The nickname felt warm; kind. Perhaps a bit cute, but… It was a name Aqua had given him, something someone would call a friend, a… a human being, not a worthless, empty creature.
"You know, Terra was the one who came up with the nickname 'Ven'. He had trouble pronouncing Ventus's name," she explained.
"Are you fucking serious?" Vanitas deadpanned. "Is he really that stupid?! It's shorter than mine!"
Aqua started laughing harder than he'd ever seen her do before, and he couldn't help but join in.
Eventually their chuckles subsided, with Bleu settling down next to Aqua.
"First of all—"
"'Terra's not stupid'. Yeah, whatever." Vanitas rolled his eyes.
Aqua regarded him for a moment. "…Do you really hate Terra and Ven as much as you say you do?" she asked gently.
"Yes… No…? I… I don't know." He sighed. "You're right. I was jealous… I'm still jealous," Vanitas admitted quietly.
He'd been jealous of Ventus's cushy, coddled life— of soft beds and delicious meals, of Terra's kind gifts and Aqua's warm hugs, of Light and friendship that he could almost feel, but was always so far from his grasp.
But… he had those sorts of things now, didn't he?
"I won't pressure you to be friends with them if you don't want to," Aqua assured.
Could they all really be friends, someday…? He'd imagined it before, that foolish, impossible dream— Terra ruffling his hair the same way he would Ventus's… him and Ventus sparring just for fun, no true malice between them…
The thought wasn't unpleasant, exactly… just strange beyond belief. Would Aqua's friends really accept him? Could a life like that truly exist for him…?
…Did he want it to?
Aqua was certainly asking a lot of him.
"…I'll think about it," Vanitas said, surprised that he actually meant it. "We'll have to save them first, though."
Aqua's eyes brightened. "You'll really help me get Terra and Ven back?"
"I made a promise, didn't I?"
"Thank you." She squeezed him with another hug. "I really shouldn't be surprised I have to rescue those two, since I've spent so much time trying to keep them out of trouble," she said with a light chuckle. "As soon as Ven woke from his coma, it was like they were attached at the hip. They've always had something special; Terra's like the big brother Ven never had." Aqua sighed. "I guess… that's why I've always felt a little left out. They were always running off on their own and leaving me behind, but you've stuck by my side."
"Yeah, well. It's gonna take a lot to get rid of me, now," Vanitas mumbled.
"I noticed." Aqua gave him a teasing smile. "My friends are a bunch of very silly boys." She lightly poked him in the shoulder.
Vanitas's lips twitched. "So… what made you decide that I'm your best friend?"
"Oh, well I—" Aqua twirled a lock of hair around her finger, looking a little flustered. "I guess after everything we've been through here… I've just always thought of Terra and Ven differently than… than how I've come to think of you."
His eyebrows furrowed; that wasn't much of an answer. "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"
"Well, Terra and Ven are like my brothers. We were raised together." She patted Bleu on the head and he began to purr. "I've always taken care of them, especially when Ven was in a coma. I guess it was up to me to be the responsible one, even though Terra's the oldest." Her smile turned sheepish. "In fact, sometimes I wonder if Ven saw me as his mother…"
"What?!" Vanitas gaped. "You're barely older than him…! Aren't you? Wait, how old are you?"
"It's not polite to ask a girl her age, Van…" she chided lightly. "But I'm eighteen, if you must know."
"See! I knew it. Two years is nothing. That kid really needs to grow up…"
"Aren't you both technically the same age?" she asked shrewdly.
"Don't remind me," Vanitas groaned, and Aqua laughed.
"I will admit I was kind of overbearing with him… And I kept telling him to go to his room… And made sure he ate his vegetables…" She put a hand over her eyes in embarrassment. "Light, I really am a mom."
"Well if it's any consolation, I think you'd make a great mom. Not to me! But just in general, I guess."
"Thanks, Van. I would like to be a mother, someday."
"Who'd be the dad? Terra?"
"Light, I hope not!" she exclaimed. "I mean, not that he wouldn't make a great father, just… not with me."
Vanitas considered asking Aqua just exactly how one went about becoming a parent in the first place, but seeing how flustered she was getting, he decided to ask something else. He really wasn't sure about all these social formalities. Apparently he wasn't supposed to ask her her age. How was he supposed to know that was bad?
"What about us? How do you see me? Do we have something 'special'?"
Aqua turned pink. Looks like he'd asked something wrong, after all. "…I suppose that depends on how you see me."
Vanitas thought for a moment. Were those his only options— Aqua's friend or her brother? What did that even mean, exactly— to be someone's brother? "…You're my best friend, Aqua. Well, my only friend, but it still counts."
Aqua beamed. "You're my best friend too, Van."
He didn't think he would ever tire of how good those words made him feel. "Right. Well, now that that's all cleared up, how about we go do something fun?"
"That would be wonderful." She brightened. "You know, I've been meaning to teach you how to do the laundry."
"I said something fun, Aqua."
"Laundry can be fun," she said sweetly. "How about tomorrow I teach you how to play the piano?"
"Is that a bribe?"
"Maybe."
He snorted. "Yeah, alright."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
It didn't take long to teach Vanitas how to do the laundry, and while it was much more work without a washing machine, old-fashioned soap and water still got the job done.
"Alright," Aqua started, drying her hands on a towel while Bleu batted around a few soap bubbles, "You'll be okay staying here with Bleu and finishing up, right?"
Vanitas paused in the middle of hanging up a wet shirt to dry. "…Yeah, you go on ahead. I've got this."
Aqua gave him a smile and a wave before heading off towards the sewing room, lost in thought. Vanitas had certainly given her a lot to think about, to put it mildly.
It wasn't as if she hadn't considered that Ven must've had a family out there somewhere, one who still missed him dearly, but without his memories they'd be impossible to find. It'd never occurred to her that Vanitas, having once been Ventus, would be under the same circumstance. It saddened her to think Vanitas feared rejection from parents he'd never known.
He'll have a family, she reassured herself. Me, Terra, and Ven. Vanitas had said he'd consider it, at least.
If truth be told, Aqua was relieved that he didn't see her as a sister. Somehow she felt it would disappoint her, if he did. At least she'd somehow managed to skirt around some potentially awkward questions. If Vanitas started asking where babies came from next, things could become rather embarrassing very quickly.
She paused at the sound of a soft squeak and glanced up, spotting a pair of Axe Flappers who had taken roost in one of the nooks in the Castle wall. They were hanging onto a ledge upside-down by their tiny clawed feet, huddled together with their chiropteran wings drawn up around themselves and peering at her with glowing red eyes. They were kind of cute, in a spooky sort of way. She smiled faintly. Hopefully, Vanitas felt happier with all those negative emotions out of his system.
Aqua had to admit, it did… hurt to know that he still hadn't fully trusted her. She felt a bit stupid for not catching on sooner. She'd known Vanitas was terrified of facing Xehanort again. He'd made that blatantly clear. She should've taken his feelings more seriously, done more to reassure him.
Was she really just fooling herself into believing she was strong enough to take down Xehanort? What if Vanitas was right, and the old Master was impossible to defeat? What if she was risking the lives of herself and everyone she loved?
No, Aqua thought as she waved off her self-doubt. This was far too important.
In order to save the Worlds —save her friends— Aqua had to try. She couldn't do it alone, but she wouldn't have to. Despite Vanitas's dislike of her friends and reluctance to leave the Realm of Darkness, he seemed willing to give them a chance and had still helped her every step of the way so far; she knew she could count on him.
Aqua unlooped her Wayfinder from her belt and gazed at the blue charm. Throughout her journey within the Dark World, thoughts of Terra had kept her feet moving forward, while thoughts of Ven had kept her heart strong.
And then there was Vanitas, her very best friend who protected and cherished her like no one else, who lifted her spirits in countless ways. Aqua sincerely valued Vanitas's happiness, and couldn't imagine life without him by her side. Somehow, she'd make it worth it to him to return to the Realm of Light, and show him that it was where he truly belonged.
Aqua's thoughts wandered back to their earlier conversation. Vanitas had said something in particular which kept repeating in her mind, though she'd been too nervous to ask him about it; the uncertain, cautious spark of hope in her heart certainly didn't help matters.
'You're my everything,' Vanitas had told her through his tears. It'd almost sounded as if he…
He...
No, Van is just a friend, she scolded herself as she fought off an oncoming blush. Her best friend, but still a friend. Enough of that.
Finally having reached her destination, Aqua entered the sewing room and closed the door softly behind herself before heading towards the row of wooden drawers at the back. Bending down, she opened the bottom drawer which contained Cinderella's glass slipper and moved it aside to reveal Vanitas's Wayfinder hidden beneath. She gently lifted the charm and sat back down at the worktable. The Wayfinder was almost complete, all five points of the wireframe star bound in place and set with red glass. It was just missing one final detail.
Aqua unhooked the silver pendant from her chest, turning it in her hand and running a thumb over the hairline scratch in the metal. This pendant meant so much to her. It was a symbol of her family's bond, and while Aqua had previously been hesitant to use it for this Wayfinder, she now knew for sure that she wanted to share it with Vanitas. Aqua set to work, humming as she secured it to the red Wayfinder with a knot of bronze twine.
When she was finished, Aqua set the completed Wayfinder down side-by-side with her own charm, the red complementing the blue. She placed her hands over both pendants and closed her eyes, casting a simple yet powerful binding spell— an unbreakable connection. Both charms glowed with an inner magic, sparkling in the candlelight. She picked up the red charm and cradled it close to her heart.
Vanitas's Wayfinder may be flawed, but to her it was perfect. Aqua wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks for reading!