Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
A vendor sold logs and straw dolls that could be used for substitution tricks.
Ninjas did parkour over booths and buildings.
A man hit moving targets with Shuriken, winning a giant stuffed ninja frog he gave to his excited girlfriend.
A gorilla served at the receptionist for a white tent with the Red Cross on it and the name "Doctor McNinja's clinic" over the entrance.
A man named Shadowsan instructed enraptured youngsters on the proper technique for pickpocketing while a gorgeous Latina woman in a stunning red coat and hat looked on fondly.
A purple haired American was trying to sell a book entitled, "My Time as a Ninth-Grade Ninja."
A one-armed man with wolfish features sold prostheses with ninja gimmicks as well as Buddhist statues, all of which were personally handcarved.
And of course, a lot of booths sold merchandise and memorabilia dedicated to legendary ninjas, both real and fictional.
"Do you think we bought too much stuff?" Mira, wearing a sexy kunoichi outfit she'd seen worn by members of the Neko Ninja Crew, wondered, carrying at least half a dozen bags full of posters, DVDs, plushies, dakimakuras, fake weapons, real weapons, and manga.
"If anything, I don't think we've gotten enough," Scarabella, the athletic ladybug carrying even more goodies due to having four arms and strength far surpassing that of a baseline human, commented, wearing a ninja headband, a scarf, a cloak, and a coolie hat. "Then again, my species doesn't use currency normally anyway, so I can't really gauge whether or not we spent too much." She considered. "I think if we reach the point where we literally can't carry anything else, then yes, we bought too much."
"That sounds plausible," Mira agreed. She pouted. "You know, I'm really happy Kagami has made it into the elite VIP group, but I wish she were here with us! She's missing out on so much fun!"
"I've been here for the last 10 minutes."
Mira and Scarabella yelped, the ladybug actually tossing her bags into the air and having to scurry to grab them before they hit the ground. "What the – where did you come from?!" Mira cried. "And how did we not notice you?!"
"I'm a ninja," Kagami stated the obvious. "And I'm very disappointed you didn't notice me sooner. I thought I trained you better than that. Neither of you would last a day as a real ninja."
"Gosh, you're so sexy when you're competent," Scarabella said huskily.
"I am always competent," Kagami replied.
"I know."
Laughter filled the air. "So, these are your girlfriends, Kagami? Well, they're cute, I'll give them that much."
Mira yowled in surprise, the new speaker right behind her. "Could you people not do that?!"
"No," said the very pretty girl in lightweight flexible body armor with rather sharp blades on her knuckles, shoulders, knees, and boots, short black hair with a yellow undercut, and pale skin with purple markings, a faint hint of scales, and reptilian eyes and fangs.
An even prettier girl looking like a mix between a sexy kunoichi and a witch smirked and leaned on the bladed girl, somehow managing to avoid touching any of her spikes, winking at the zyuman and causing her to blush. "Mmm, a bit too furry for my taste, but I guess I can see the appeal."
"You're such a deviant," Kagami said deadpan.
"Says the girl dating a cat and an insect."
"Fair. Mira, Scarabella, I'd like you to meet two of my friends/rivals, Karai Hamato and her girlfriend Shinigami," Kagami said, nodding at the other two women.
Scarabella blinked. "Hamato? Like that pizza place run by turtles?"
Karai nodded. "Yeah, they're my brothers. One of whom is also my boyfriend."
Mira stared.
"He's adopted."
"Ohhhhh."
"Why does that matter? My parents are siblings," said the confused Scarabella.
Karai and Shinigami stared at her. "What?"
"Literally every member of her species was born from the same mother, so they're technically all siblings," Kagami was quick to explain.
"Ah."
"Kinky," Shinigami said.
"Leo will join us later just before the tournament," Karai said dismissively. "Where he'll get to watch me crush you before your girlfriends and mother right before I make out with him and Shini over your broken body."
"Babe, you're so hot when you're promising to destroy your enemies," Shinigami moaned lustfully.
"Thanks, it's the Shredder in me."
"You're incorrect. It is I will be making out with my lovers over your broken body before your entire clan," Kagami said plainly. "Their tears over your crushing defeat will make my victory all the sweeter."
"… Are you sure you're friends?" Mira asked doubtfully.
"Of course we are," Kagami and Karai said instantly, looking offended by the implication that they weren't.
"It's a rivalry thing, we do that all the time in Bugball," Scarabella explained to her girlfriend.
Shinigami looked intrigued at this. "Oh? Your kind has sports? How does that work, aren't you all telepathically linked or something?"
"Yes, which makes it that much more exciting," Scarabella said proudly. "There is an absolutely ludicrous amount of mind games involved. That's part of why ladybugs often make the best players, we tend to be the smartest of all the members of the Hive."
"Sounds fun," Kagami remarked.
"It is," Scarabella said enthusiastically.
"Oh, Kagami, just so you know, we bumped into Yoshiharu, he's looking for you," Shinigami spoke up.
Kagami sighed. "Of course he is. Does he still have that crush on me? He is aware that not only am I taken twice over, he is far too young for me and the wrong gender?"
"It's about something else, actually."
For the third time, Mira and Scarabella yelped. "Why do you people keep doing that?!" The zyuman hissed.
"Because it's funny," Kagami said, giving a borderline contemptuous look at the boy in red and black wearing a headband with the Igasaki emblem on it. "Yoshiharu. You wanted to see me?"
The boy – who really was quite a lot younger than her – nodded, a solemn look on his face. "I did. I heard about your mother. I'm sorry."
Kagami's expression softened a tiny amount. "Thank you, Yoshiharu. That means more than I thought it would."
Yoshiharu nodded. "Yeah, I know what it's like to be ashamed of your parent-"
Kagami bristled and the others winced. "Ooh, bad choice of words there, kiddo," Karai said.
"You are mistaken, Yoshiharu. I am nothing but proud of my mother," Kagami said curtly. "While I understand why they did this to her, that doesn't mean I'm any less outraged than she is. I fully intend to make sure that her status is reinstated someday. She is a hero and does not deserve to be shunned like this."
"… I see. I'm sorry, I misjudged things," Yoshiharu said, contrite. "It's just… Difficult sometimes, having that man for a father. As cold and scary as your mother can be, at least you never have to doubt that she loves you or consistently remembers that you exist."
"We cannot choose our parents," Kagami said, bowing her head.
"Tell me about it," Karai muttered.
"Huh?" Scarabella asked.
"The man I thought was my father for most of my life turned out to be a monster who accidentally killed my dad and deliberately killed my mom and stole me from my real dad. And one day I'm going to make him pay for it," Karai said grimly.
"That's something we have in common, then," Yoshiharu said with a bitter laugh. "And today, I'm finally going to do it."
"Yoshiharu, you've been trying to kill your father for years. What makes today any different?" Kagami asked, intrigued.
Yoshiharu smiled thinly. "You'll see soon enough. I have something planned that not even his literal dumb luck can protect him from. And you should watch your back in the tournament, Kagami. I plan to take you out as well. Nonlethally, that is. Then maybe people will finally respect the Igasaki name again."
"I won't hold my breath," Kagami said dryly. "Still, good luck killing your father."
"Thanks," he said, bounding away over the rooftops, because he was a ninja and so couldn't do something as simple as just walking.
"Should I be concerned that we just heard two people talk about patricide so casually?" Mira wondered in concern.
"Being a ninja means being part of a dark, violent world of shadows, where death and betrayal lies behind every corner," Kagami said solemnly. "You knew that when you started dating me."
"When they started dating you, did they also know your history?" Karai teased.
"Hush."
"… Wait. WAIT. Were you two…" Mira asked incredulously, pointing back and forth between Karai and Kagami.
"Irrelevant," Kagami said quickly.
Karai laughed. It was rather intoxicating. "You didn't seem to think it was irrelevant at the time. Hey, girls, want to hear some really embarrassing and juicy secrets about your girlfriend?"
"Yes!" Mira and Scarabella cried.
"I'll kill you," Kagami said plainly.
Karai winked. "Promises, promises. So, it all started a few years back, when I tried to murder her…"
Hood looked around in in wonder as they walked down the recruitment aisle, both sides filled with booths where ninjas from what had to be dozens of different clans from all over the world, if not beyond, were trying to convince people to join them. "Wow! There's so many ninja clans!" The cicada gushed. "Is everyone in the world represented here?"
"No, only the largest, most influential – or wealthiest – can get a spot here," Mibojin told her apprentice, a flicker of pride pulsing through the Buzzing when she saw rather a lot of people were in line at the Mantis Clan booth, and she exchanged nods with the kunoichi on duty. "It is both an awe-inspiring reminder of just how rich and diverse the Shinobi legacy is that it has spread to every corner of the globe and beyond, enduring throughout the ages… As well as a powder keg that at any moment could explode and engulf the entire convention in a firestorm fueled by centuries of grudges, rivalries, broken promises, broken hearts, and general resentment."
"Really? Why?" Hood asked, confused.
"Because humans are not united in mind and purpose, like the Hive are," Mibojin said.
"Oh, right."
"We can debate whether or not that's for the best another time," Mibojin continued. "In this instance, at least, it provides us an opportunity. Due to the potential volatility of the participants, this area of the convention is one of the highest priorities for security. If something should happen here, it might make it easier to, hypothetically speaking, break into another high-security area."
"Oh?" Hood asked, switching to telepathy.
"It's time for your next lesson in the ninja arts: deception," Mibojin said. "We of the Hive are unable to lie, but sometimes a person can speak nothing but truth and still be completely false. Due to my former VIP position, I'm privy to many secrets of the clans are presented here… Including grudges, weaknesses, and things they may have said in private about their rivals. And, since they're angry at me already for revealing such things to the Hive… We might as well make use of them, for the greater good."
"And how are we to do that?" Manti asked.
"That is where you come in," Mibojin told her. "Even people as paranoid and observant as ninjas might fail to notice a mantis flitting about, especially if said mantis is a master ninja herself. If you were to whisper a few things into the right ears, using the right voices, which just so happen to be in my memory, and so available to the entirety of the Buzzing…"
"Say no more," Manti said, understanding perfectly.
"And to avoid suspicion, I've already fashioned a replica so that nobody will notice I'm not wearing you while you're gone," Mibojin said as Hood stared at her in awe. "Now, we just need an alibi… Ah, that should do."
Mibojin headed towards a booth where a rather loud argument seemed to be taking place with quite a few bystanders stopping to observe. With all the people around, it was simple enough for Manti to hop off and disappear into the crowd as Mibojin flicked her wrist, the fake Divine Insect she'd been hiding up her sleeve sliding into place.
"This is ridiculous!" A man in a suit resembling a red milkweed beetle protested angrily. "I'm one of the founding members of this group! You can't kick me out!"
"Sensei, who is that?" Hood asked.
"Ryo Murasame, also known as Kamen Rider ZX, a member of the Ninja Riders Coalition," Mibojin replied. "Though it looks like that might not be the case for much longer."
"Look, Ryo, none of us are disputing that you've brought a lot to the table," a man in a purple ninja suit with yellow eyes who Mibojin identified as Rentaro Kaguragi, Kamen Rider Shinobi, said soothingly.
"Says you," snorted Ren Akamichi, Kamen Rider Kenzan.
"And we have nothing but respect for all your years of service," Rintaro continued. "It's just… Well… We're not sure you're actually a ninja, and if you're not a ninja, then you can't exactly be part of the Ninja Riders Coalition anymore, can you?"
"Not a – of course I'm a ninja!" Ryo spluttered in disbelief.
"Are you though?" Isamichi Konjo, Kamen Rider Hattari, asked skeptically.
"Of course I am! I fought in Team Ninja during Chou Super Hero Taisen, and alongside the red ninja Rangers and Ren during the Superhero Senki incident! Not to mention our team-up near the end of your series… Of adventures, Rentaro!" Ryo insisted.
"Well, yeah, but you don't… Look like a ninja?" Keiwa Sakurai, Kamen Rider Tycoon, said hesitantly. "I mean, you look like a bug. Granted, a lot of Riders look like one, but you don't have any features that really stand out as ninja-y?"
"So what if I don't look like a ninja?" Ryo protested. "We're supposed to be masters of stealth! I'd think not looking like a ninja would be a good thing!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Ren scoffed. "How would people know you were one, then?"
"That's exactly what I'm trying to say!" Ryo cried.
"Ryo, I'm very sorry, this wasn't an easy choice for us to make-" Rentaro said.
"Don't give me that! This was your wife's idea! She's always had it out for me!" Ryo insisted. "Just because I insulted her cooking that one time!"
"All of us decided equally, of our own volition, that this would be for the best," Rentaro said quickly. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be."
"This is bullshit!" Ryo shouted, storming away angrily. "You haven't heard the last of me!"
"So long, grandpa!" Ren sneered.
"Actually, Ren, we're giving you the boot too," Kagenari Nagumo, Kamen Rider Fuma, spoke up.
"WHAT?!" Ren spluttered in disbelief. "Why?! I'm a real ninja! I look the part!"
"Well, yes, but everyone hates you," Kagenari said.
Rentaro winced. "That's a bit harsh-"
"But true, none of us like you," Isamichi said bluntly.
"Oh come on! This is because I made a pass at Rentaro's wife that one time, isn't it? She was totally into it!" Ren yelled.
"She absolutely was not and that has nothing to do with it. I'm sorry, but the decision is final. Please leave before this gets anymore awkward," Rentaro asked.
Outraged, Ren shot to his feet. "Screw you all! You suck! I'm gonna go found my own ninja clan! Come on, Desast, let's bounce!"
"Actually, you're the only one we want gone, Desast can stay," Rentaro interjected.
Kagenari nodded. "Yeah, Desast is cool, everyone loves him."
"What?! You're keeping him but not me?!" Ren demanded. "Desast, you're really gonna let them get away with this?!"
"Well, considering it means I don't have to leave the group, then yeah, basically," Desast said. "And look at it this way, Ren! This will just give you incentive to train even harder and become an even stronger ninja to get your revenge! Really, when you think about it, this is for your own good. You should be thanking us."
Ren shouted in indignation, then stormed off. "See you later, buddy!" Desast called after him.
"The two of you live together. Isn't this going to be a problem?" Keiwa asked.
"Ha ha, no, this is just going to make things that much more interesting," Desast said gleefully. "And not just when we fight, either…"
"You have an incredibly dysfunctional relationship," Rentaro observed.
"You're one to talk," the Megid shot back. "Didn't your wife trick you into marrying her?"
"We're not talking about me!"
"What a strange group," an intrigued Hood commented.
"I think we rather all are," Mibojin admitted.
"Hey! Mantis clan!"
Mibojin frowned, turning her head to see she was being called from a set of three booths nearby, advertising for the Kakure, Space Union, and Igasaki ninja clans. The Shinobiryu clan booth was right next to them, but currently unmanned, with a sign saying they were out for lunch. By a marvelous coincidence, the ninjas currently manning the booths were Seikai, Kouta Bitou, and Nagi Matsuo, the yellow Rangers of each team.
For a moment, Mibojin considered pretending she hadn't heard them and leaving, but ultimately decided there would be no point and went over. "I have a name."
"Yes, but nobody seems to know what your last name is, so it didn't seem quite right to call you by your first name," Nagi pointed out.
"Nobody knows what Seikai's last name is either," Mibojin replied.
"Hey, what is it?" Kouta asked his fellow yellow ninja.
"None of your business," Seikai said curtly. "So, Mantis clan, some things were said the last time we saw each other."
"Yes, and I'm the one who said them," Mibojin said unapologetically.
Seikai glared at her. "You said that ninja heroes like ourselves were a disgrace to the profession."
"Yes," Mibojin agreed. "I did say that."
"And now here you are, a ninja hero yourself."
"Yes," Mibojin agreed.
Seikai looked at her expectantly. She glared back. "You're not even going to apologize, are you? Despite now being everything you hate?"
"The irony of the situation does not escape me," she deadpanned.
Seikai scowled at her.
"So, who's the cicada?" Kouta asked, trying to change the subject.
"Hi! I'm Hood! I'm sensei's apprentice!" Hood introduced herself.
"She's got an apprentice now?" Seikai muttered.
"She treating you okay? You know she has a bit of a reputation around these parts, right?" Nagi asked.
"And spilled a ton of ninja secrets she'd sworn never to reveal to anyone, on pain of death?" Kouta added.
"It wasn't intentional," Mibojin said defensively.
Hood nodded. "Oh, yes! I know all about sensei! We're connected over the Buzzing. I know everything about her, and vice versa!"
"And despite all that, you still want her to teach you?" Seikai asked incredulously.
"I know sensei isn't the nicest person, but she was chosen to be a champion by one of the Divine Insects for a reason, and she's been doing her best to be a hero, a mother, and a teacher," Hood insisted. "She's not the same as the other Bugrangers, but I think she's just fine, and I think someone like her is exactly who we need to fight an enemy like the Swarm."
Hood meant every word, of course. Mibojin wasn't entirely sure to feel about that.
"… Huh. Someone other than your daughter speaking up for you for a change. Never would have expected it," Seikai murmured, impressed.
"You've got a good apprentice there," Kouta commented. "Don't take her for granted."
"… I will endeavor not to," Mibojin said, offering the cicada a brief nod, causing her to preen and fill the Buzzing with pride and acceptance and adoration.
Seikai regarded her for a moment. "… Maybe… You have changed, Mibojin-"
"YOU!"
First Spear Furabijou and Fourth Spear Wendinu stormed over to the booth. "Did you really say our hair was stupid?!" Wendinu demanded.
"What? No, of course not!" Kouta protested. "… Or at least nowhere you should have been able to hear that."
Wendinu screamed in fury and lunged at him, Mibojin quickly stepping back so as not to get caught up in the ensuing battle.
"So what if I can't read?! Books are dumb anyway!" Ren yelled as he raced past, drawing his sacred sword as he attacked the startled ninja Riders.
"Who cares if you guys came first? Our leader has one of the most badass villain designs imaginable!" A member of the Foot clan yelled as he dueled with a member of the Hand.
"Oh yeah? Well Sigourney Weaver played our leader in a Netflix series!" The Hand ninja shot back.
"Which sucked!"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
"We're not just toys!" The Masters of Spinjitzu yelled as they started spinning all over the place, generating elemental tornadoes.
"We're not a cheap knockoff of Splatoon!" A group of very young children shouted as they generated weapons from gum.
"Take back what you said about my mother!" Storm Shadow yelled as he clashed with Snake Eyes.
"Not until you take back what you said about my girlfriend!" The other ninja retorted.
"We are not obsessed with bananas!" The Sheikah and Yiga clans, who were indeed obsessed with bananas, yelled as they put aside their internal rivalry to team up against the Garo.
"MY HEAD IS NOT STUPID!" Space Ninja Demost shouted, attacking Jiraiya.
"WE DO NOT HAVE SMALL PENISES AND ANGER ISSUES!" The Muscle ninjas bellowed, attacking everyone, including each other.
"I! HATE! ORIGAMIIIIIIIIII!" Shizuka of the Wind howled.
Seikai gawked in disbelief as a huge ninja on ninja battle overtook the area, Shadowkhan manifesting in droves to try and put a stop to the violence only to get attacked as well by angry ninjas who didn't particularly care who they were fighting at the moment. "What… What the hell… You! This is all your doing, isn't it?!" He angrily accused Mibojin.
"I've been standing here talking to you the entire time," Mibojin said completely truthfully as Manti slipped back onto her wrist, unnoticed.
"That doesn't mean you're not behind this! You're up to something, and-"
"SEIKAI!"
Seikai paled as Pink Cherry Blossom marched towards him. "Oh no."
"I told you about my hairball issue in strict confidence!" She shrieked, raising her machine gun. "DIE!"
Seikai shrieked and vanished in a puff of smoke, the livid kunoichi giving chase.
"… Wait, ninjas can use machine guns?" Hood asked in confusion.
"If they want to," Mibojin said, something almost approximating a smiled briefly crossing her face. "Well done, Manti. This should serve as an adequate diversion."
"It was an interesting exercise in stealth. I nearly got caught a few times. Many of the ninjas here are quite skilled," the Divine Insect said in approval.
Hood observed the growing chaos, a tinge of doubt and guilt coloring her thoughts. "Sensei, we, um, we are the good guys, right?"
"We're ninjas. Morality is relative."
"Oh. Okay then."
The ground shook, and everyone looked up and up and up at an irate biomechanical dinosaur. "Who here said dinosaurs were lame?!" the Shinobiryu bellowed.
Mibojin and Hood wisely decided to book it. They weren't the only ones.
Seated behind a table on a raised stage before over hundred seats, each of them filled with heroes, villains, friends and family, and a fair number of fans and curious convention goers, Nushi couldn't help feeling a hint of trepidation. "Wow… There's so many of them… All here to see us?"
"It can feel pretty daunting, huh?" Ariel thought sympathetically, squeezing her hand under the table and sending her so much love and confidence and reassurance it made her want to sing. "I'm used to this sort of thing by now, but I felt kind of overwhelmed my first few shows and cons too. The thought that I had made such a difference in so many people's lives that they wanted to come see me, hear me… It can be humbling, right?"
"A little," Nushi agreed. "I've gotten used to this sort of thing back in Hive City, but there I know what the audience is thinking. Here I don't. How many of them secretly hate me? How many of them are just waiting for me to slip up and fail?"
"Oh, quite a few," Shin told her. "But the good thing about not being able to read their minds is that you have no way of knowing which of them secretly despise you until they open their mouths, so until then you can just pretend they all really like you and are eager to see you."
"Okay?" A confused Nushi murmured, unsure whether or not she should be reassured by that.
"Lovebug, would it help if I cast a spell so that you can see the audience completely naked?" Ariel offered.
"I'd rather not see some of them naked, thanks," Goro said anxiously, glancing at several stereotypically obese and slovenly nerds.
"Plus, you know guys don't do it for me," Nushi pointed out.
"I'd only do the girls," Ariel offered. "And only the pretty ones at that."
Nushi contemplated this for several seconds, as did a somewhat guilty Goro and Shin.
Thankfully, before they could ponder this ethical dilemma further, a very large fly holding a microphone buzzed through the air. "Hello, Tokucon!"
"Hi!" The audience shouted back.
"Now, I'm sure you all recognize me as award-winning journalist and commentator from the battles of the Jyuken Sentai Gekiranger – hey guys, glad to see you made it," the fly said, waving to a group of colorful Sentai dressed like animals in the crowd, who waved back. "Fierce Beast Fly-Fist Bae!"
"Oh gosh, it's Bae!" Nushi squealed in delight. "When I found out there was a martial arts style that might let me turn into an insect permanently like him, I desperately badgered SCRTC to teach me how, but they stopped returning my calls."
"To be fair, it's a forbidden technique," Ariel pointed out.
"I'll be serving as moderator on today's panel, where you'll get to hear from our latest team of world-defending heroes, the Konchū Sentai Bugranger!" Bae said. "Now, I for one am thrilled that we finally have our very own group of insect Sentai, a class which has been vastly underrepresented compared to Kamen Riders. And yes, I know about the Ohsama Sentai, but they aren't from here so shut up, and besides, they're still vastly outnumbered by other animals. I mean really, do we need more lions and eagles? And don't get me started on the dinosaurs!"
There was a good-natured laugh at this from the audience.
"Anyway, I know from experience that quite a lot of people aren't fans of bugs, which is why I am really happy that the leader of the Bugrangers is herself an amateur entomologist, so hopefully she can help put people at ease and make them understand how important bugs are to the planet, including bug heroes, and convince more people to swear allegiance to our new insect overlord Queen Apista. Oh, and if we could see a fly Great Divine Insect at some point in the near future, I wouldn't be particularly upset," Bae continued, earning more laughs and causing Nushi to smile, his demeanor and humor helping her relax.
"Although… I was kind of hoping we'd see the full team," Bae admitted, glancing at the three vacant seats behind the table. "Where are the others?"
"Mibojin wasn't interested in participating, and went to attend Shurikon next door," Nushi said into her microphone, wincing slightly due to feedback. "As for the Arachrangers…" She hesitated. "They… Well…"
"Are right here."
Nushi and Ariel gasped in delight as Aranea lowered herself from the ceiling, holding Antares, earning several murmurs of surprise and scattered applause from the audience. "Aranea! You came! I… I wasn't sure you were going to, after-"
"Antares and my girls said it might be a good idea for me to get out of the ship for a while," the beautiful spider said, smiling in adoration at Nushi. "Also, I missed you. Both of you."
Ariel squealed in delight as Nushi turned bright red. A lot of the audience went "Awwwww."
"Wonderful! The gang's (almost) all here!" Bae said ecstatically. "So, Nushi – and everyone else – why don't you start things off by telling us how this all started?"
Nushi smiled, Aranea's sudden arrival, as well as the encouragement she felt from her friends in the entire Hive, buoying her and filling her with confidence. "Well," she said as Ariel and Aranea began to combine their magic to project a series of images into the air, beginning the tired time-honored tradition of a clip show. "While we humans believe ourselves to be the dominant species on Earth, in truth, we are vastly outnumbered by insects, with an estimated 10 quintillion insects alive at any given time. They've been here before us, and with any luck, they'll be here long after us. Personally, I find that kind of neat, and more than a little humbling. This is the story of seven heroes who are going to use the power of insects to save the world…"
"Oh. My. MOM. Are you seeing this?!" An enthusiastic Philia shrieked, mugging her drone camera and pointing it at a booth covered in magical memorabilia manned by a surly-looking goblin. She ignored his protests as she thrust the drone forwards at three identical packaged toys displayed on one of the shelves. "Not one, not two, but THREE limited-edition Cosmic Queen Heavenly Sage Ariel action figures, the holy grail of Heavenly Sage Ariel collectibles - aside from the Holy Grail DX Memorial Edition, of course - so rare only two dozen were ever made and sold at Mysticon 20XX, and not even Ariel or her own family have one!"
"That's right, we don't," Fuuka, who was there along with most of Ariel's friends, piped up.
"This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen," Aki moaned, practically drooling over the toys.
"We went on a huge birthday adventure in ancient Egypt a few weeks ago," Cutaros pointed out. "We nearly died several times."
"I got a crocodile," Mei said proudly. "And a new mummy!" She snickered at her own terrible joke.
"I stand by my statement!" Aki asserted.
Luna nodded in commiseration with her sort-of-girlfriend.
"We have to get these!" Philia yelled.
"All of them? That seems kind of greedy," Galacta pointed out.
"It's not just for me!" Philia insisted. "Fuuka can have one, and Aki and Luna can share the last one."
"What! Why do we have to share?!" Aki protested.
"Aki, there are only three, I'm just happy to even be able to part-own one," Luna assured her.
"Mr. vendor Sir, how much for the figurines?!" Philia asked the goblin. "I'll pay any price!"
"By which she means I'll pay any price, since I'm the only one of us who actually has money," Neycombe commented, only slightly annoyed.
The goblin shook his head. "Sorry kids, all three of these have already been sold to a collector who put down a pretty hefty sum. He'll be here to pick them up any minute."
"What?! No!" Philia, Luna, and Aki wailed.
"Of course, I might be willing to give them to you instead, if you make me a better offer," the goblin added, face twisted into a mask of avarice.
"I will give you almost literally anything for those figurines," Philia said seriously. "Like Jun's soul, it's not like he's making much use of it."
"What?!" The kitten shrieked.
"Do you accept mana?" Luna offered. "I am from the distinguished Candela family, Fuuka is a member of the Ozu clan, Philia is the first mage of her people, and Aki… Is also a witch."
"That's right, I am!" Aki exclaimed obliviously.
"Also, my father is the Fangire Bishop, so I am ridiculously wealthy," Neycombe added, producing half a dozen credit cards.
Because he was a magical creature, nobody was particularly surprised when the goblin's pupils turned into yen signs. "I think we can work something out."
"Neycombe, how can I ever repay you for this?" Philia asked the Fangire noble as the goblin accepted the offered mana and ran her card.
"Marry me," Neycombe said immediately.
"Okay," Philia immediately agreed.
There was a muffled sound from under a mountain of bags.
"Don't worry, darling, you shall always be first in my heart, this is more for political reasons though I'd be lying if I said I didn't also find myself somewhat attracted to her," Neycombe assured Veila, who was, once again, serving as a pack mule.
There was another, somewhat mollified muffled sound from under the mountain of bags.
Cutaros rolled her eyes. "Philia, at this rate, you're going to marry all of your friends."
"Is that a bad thing?" Philia asked.
Cutaros paused to consider this. "… You never asked me."
"Well, would you like to-" Philia began.
"Okay, they're all yours," the goblin interjected, having confirmed the transaction went through.
Philia could have sworn she heard a heavenly choir singing – no wait, that was just Shitsuki – as the vendor slowly held out the figurines to her waiting hands…
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"