Dark room. Cold room. Sterile room but for the dirt enshrining his feet—no, entombing his feet. A small space he couldn't leave, like a box, or a bowl, wrapped around his ankles as an earthy shackle. He dropped his arms to touch, but no fingers extended to dust the brim of his cage. His arms were wide. His arms were flat. He wriggled his toes and found them longer and more numerous than expected. Should he have expected something else? Though these should have been his first moments alive, some instinct told him this incarnation had been written much later. He had just been born and yet … this couldn't have been the first time.
He swung a head much larger and heavier than the rest of him, slowly, as if the atmosphere stewed in old honey. The quiet, electric hum inside the walls jabbed like a knife through his head. The faint lighting blinded his unpracticed eyes. They lingered closed a moment longer before taking in a room that meant very little to him, especially when blurred with nearsightedness.
A wall of mirrored glass showed him a hard-to-read reflection. From this far away, only splotches of gold, green, and white refracted his motions. He leaned forward and slid off a ledge he hadn't noticed. He fell from somewhere high onto the ground.
The cacophony of shattering clay struck through the room like a crash of thunder. The long, numerous ends of his feet could now breathe—though they weren't particularly happy about that. The fall tenderized his appendages, his face, his torso, but not enough to impede him. The mirrors stood straight ahead. He crawled toward his reflection.
A wreath of gold around a white center. Green spades for arms reached out to touch the glass. The word "flower" came to mind. Something told him flowers shouldn't be able to move like he did, see how he did, think like he did. He supposed he was more flower-ish. Flowery. Flowey. Yeah, he liked that last one.
This face … he could shape it into any form he wanted. So why was every countenance he surfaced a stranger? Before this, what kind of face did he own? Did he even have one?
Footsteps and a closing door echoed down the hall.
Panic stirred somewhere deep inside him. He was in danger. Someone was trying to kill him, many someones, though he couldn't remember who or why. His roots clawed against the tiles as he clambered off through the nearest doorway, down into the cracks of the earth, away through dirt and drywall. He scraped and smacked against the innards of the lab blindly, desperate to escape a set of teeth and claws he didn't even remember. At long last, he slipped out of his self-drawn maze into open air.
There was no floor to catch him for ages. He fell down, down, down … down toward a brilliant light and a sharp impact that should have broken him, but only forced him back to sleep.
Sans returned to the lab just as you prepared to escort Alphys, though you doubted that was actually his intention. You had found him downstairs, shaking, staring at the "bathroom" elevator like temptation's gateway to Gehenna. As soon as he caught you looking, however, he did a hell of a job hiding whatever feelings gripped him.
His play-acting didn't work on you. While it might have escaped Alphys, Sans had become even quieter, succinct, and slow. A weight more than weariness pinned down his already heavy eyes, though their pupils razed the path ahead in search of something secret. You only wished he would tell you.
After charging Mettaton, Alphys had convinced him to fix the elevators and revert the Core to its previous state. After all, this was Undyne's dinner reservation. Mettaton wouldn't dream of offending the head of the Royal Guard … or getting his hot new face punched inside out. For the first time, you found it possible to take the lift out of Hotland, down into the bustling civilian streets of New Home. The quaking walls of that metal box hadn't given you this many chills since first ascending to face Asgore.
Entering the city was like walking into a silver Byzantine in its prime. A hundred arches led the way down a brick-laid path among domes and spires so spectacularly high they grazed the ceiling. Although gray stone overwhelmed the architecture, a surprising overgrowth of colorful fungi and greenery found their way through every nook and cranny. The unique aroma of fire cooking, music, and pleasant chatter overwhelmed your senses at every turn. You had been robbed of truly witnessing the Underground until then, you thought, when no other region had felt nearly this alive.
Seeing the capital in all its glory, you could fully appreciate how many monsters had been trapped in the Underground—and how quickly they were running out of space. People of every shape, size, and even state of matter packed the streets, shoulder-to-shoulder. You caught glimpses of ghosts, mammalian monsters, sea monsters, dinosaurs, elementals, hundreds upon hundreds you had seen before—and no skeletons. That didn't keep Sans from serving as excellent camouflage. With his bones and Alphys' scales flanking you on either side, you went entirely unnoticed.
Your first glimpse of New Home left you starved for more, but the party soon abandoned those busy streets to seek out Alchemy, a casual but hard-to-reserve hangout in a discrete corner of the capital. Undyne's position and relationship with Asgore may have pulled a few strings.
The quietude here amid fireflies and warm lanterns sang with an aura of peace. The building itself had been erected over a lily-heavy stream, visible through a glass floor—though neither you nor Sans got to see that far. All you peons were given enough grace to behold was the simple but refined exterior of sparkling quartz.
Outside the doors, Undyne waited anxiously, dressed in her nicest casual wear of leather jacket, jeans, and calf-high boots.
While Undyne might have been nervous, Alphys was drowning in a sea of panic. As soon as her eyes met her date, her entire body flushed beet red and quivered like the earth's deepest tremors. She fidgeted with the folds of her black and white polka dot dress and bunched the fabric in and out of her fists.
You took her arm reassuringly and, soon enough, she stopped shaking.
When Alphys finally uncovered the nerve to join her date, your heart raced. You couldn't hear what they said, but their bodies swayed shyly, eagerly. Alphys looked to you for one last burst of encouragement. You threw her two thumbs up just before she vanished from sight beyond the entryway.
You and Sans lingered on the path outside, staring at the empty space where your friends had once stood. Though your arms had fallen to your sides, your smile remained rooted.
Sans planted his hands in his pockets and looked at you askance.
"… we're spyin' on 'em, right?"
"Absolutely," you said.
The two of you traced Alchemy's edge, peeking through windows until you found the pair again. At a polished granite bar, Undyne was in the act of lifting a crimson-faced Alphys onto a counter-height stool. Alphys nearly toppled straight off.
Smooth, jazzy music hummed through the open window between your camouflaging tangle of vines. Though their conversation still escaped you, just observing their body language was pleasant enough. You quickly became lost in the subtleties of their every lovesick movement.
Sans' thoughts, on the other hand, had wandered elsewhere. All evening, that gray monster's words had haunted him. In another time and place, he might have brushed it off as a nightmare, but the scan results on his phone gave him proof. This stranger, whoever or whatever he was, had indeed come from the rift.
He watched your beaming face. He would never risk taking you there. Its temporal instability could unwind a person's very existence. Chapters of your life could be rewritten. You could be displaced, erased, or driven mad. In the face of the unimaginable, possibilities endlessly abound. If he chose to accept the invitation, it had to be alone … and yet he feared leaving you behind.
as if you're much use to the kid, anyway, he chided himself.
You noticed his distant eyes, his gaze lost in the ivy leaves and quartz molding along the windowsill. Asking him to voice his troubles rarely worked. Even when on the surface, when laughter pervaded nearly every waking minute, asking Sans for insight came with a fifty-fifty chance of being pranked. Baring yourself first had worked on the ferry. Perhaps offering your own vulnerability was the most effective way to lower his defenses.
At that moment, you realized by the quiver of Alphys' shoulders that she must be confessing her dishonesty to Undyne. The sea monster reached out to comfort her.
"Remember when I first broke the barrier," you chose to say, "and the world was completely different from what I knew?"
Sans eyed you suddenly.
"And," you continued, "you told me how time moves more slowly down here than it does up there?"
Sans considered this a moment. "a theory, yeah," he agreed. "picked up on it once ol' newspapers started washin' down. whatcha gettin' at?"
You hesitated. Your grip on the windowsill tightened. "What if, when we get out, everything's different again?" you asked. "What if when we leave the mountain, the humans don't negotiate, and try to wipe monsters out instead?"
Sans flinched. He hadn't considered that.
"What if we don't even make it that far?" you asked. "What if we don't break the barrier?" Your nails on that quartz lip were the only thing keeping your head above water. "I'm so scared … all of this will be for nothing."
Sans opened his mouth but, for a pain in his heart, he couldn't say it wasn't.
Hearing it out loud only deepened your fears. What if this whole journey ended as a mistake? What if everything you had changed had only caused harm? What if …
"What if I can't save Asriel?" you whispered.
You waited longer than anticipated for a response. When you searched for feedback in the lines of his side-turned face, you found more thought, more sadness, more uncertainty than you had expected.
"sometimes you can't save everyone," he said.
The words, though quiet, rumbled from his very core. You could feel their tremors in your own soul, and through no volition of your own, your breath halted: lava turned obsidian. Sans' dim eyelights traced along the green overgrowth, though well past the forms of Alphys and Undyne afar.
"but you have to try," he hummed, almost to himself. "you have to do everything you possibly can or else … or else …" His voice descended to a whisper. "how will i live with myself?"
You saw him as if for the first time. He looked awful, worse than you had seen since starting this journey. The shadows around his eyes had grown more intense. His hands shook in their pockets. If judging by looks alone, he was about one Jenga block away from crashing down.
"Sans …"
"shh-shh, hold up!" Sans hissed, eyes suddenly brighter than beacons.
You looked through the window just in time to see Alphys and Undyne leaning shyly close to one another. You held the air in your chest like a balloon, ready to lift you off your feet. You and Sans bent together at the opening, bridling with anticipation. Alphys and Undyne neared each other slowly, surely, and after a moment's hesitation, collided in a first kiss.
Sans' fingers jumped immediately into his mouth in a whistle. You cheered.
"All right, Alphys!"
"mew mew kiss that cutie!"
Every monster inside Alchemy turned to you as if you had just set fire to the drapes. Alphys blushed. Undyne glared. The beginning sparks of a magic spear hovered under her hand. The two of you ducked, snickering despite yourselves.
You decided to leave them alone after that. You and Sans retreated down the network of alleyways that wove New Home's intricate tapestry. As you swam out into the denser lights of the city, Sans noticed how your head swiveled around to every feature like a hummingbird torn between a flower and a nectar pot. He smiled, perhaps guiltily.
"thinking maybe, while we're here … nah, never mind."
You stopped and spun to him on your heel, eyes dancing with artificial suns. If Sans had been hesitant until then, he gained confidence now. His grin became true.
"was thinkin' … how 'bout i give ya a quick look around?" His hands spread wide under a coy shrug. "might not have another chance."
In the heart of New Home, you could truly experience the best of what the Underground's capital had to offer. Your short time as an ambassador had given you the privilege of traveling to many beautiful human cities, but none compared to this. None had such an overabundance of magic.
Multicolor lights flickered everywhere for entertainment, for business, for fun, for no reason other than to show off or make tasks easier. You joined in magic games with other children, tasted monster food you had never encountered before, and watched light shows on the cave ceiling above. Despite the vicious throb in your head, your soul sang with excitement to see a world that would likely never be seen again. For one selfish moment, you failed to regret your decision to reset time.
You hadn't seen Sans this cheerful in ages, though it wasn't for the experience itself. His smile stemmed from the wonder in your eyes, your fingers pointing to the ordinary as if incredible. And yet, before long, his humor faded.
As the evening grew closer to night, he stopped suddenly to stare at the dark fifth-story windows of a square stone building. He didn't say anything about it, but you could see the thoughts churning behind his eyes, hidden in the dark of his skull.
After that, he led you away from the dying crowd into a quieter alleyway.
"so, uh …" said Sans quietly. "hate to cut the evenin' short but … there's somethin' i need to check on, and i need to go at it alone."
Around six red flags popped up in your head. "What kind of thing?"
"uh …" He glanced away to the left, toward the windows that had caught his attention. "family stuff. don't worry about it."
Your heart sank. "But … I thought I was family."
A grimace tore across his tired face. "kid, you know that ain't what i meant."
"Then what's going on?"
Sans refused to give an answer, but you had a solid guess. All his words and actions, subtle or not, had been building to this moment. You had only been waiting.
"The rift," you said.
By the way his posture bent and iced like a tree branch in a snowstorm, you knew you were right.
"You told me before there's nothing down there." You stepped forward. "Was that a lie?"
"new data," he said quietly, "suggests it might be worth a peek."
"Then I want to come with you."
"it's way too dangerous," he protested. "just stay up here and hang with your buddies. if i don't come back …"
Your fists had been tightening but now they clenched so hard they shook.
"No," you said.
He heaved a sigh.
"If there's an answer to saving Asriel down there, I want to find it," you went on. "And if it's really that dangerous, do you really think I'm going to let you go alone?"
The darkness of the alleyway, so separate from the city light only feet away, smothered you like a crypt. His eyes hadn't met yours once since starting this conversation. No matter what you said, he had already made his decision. Your heart hammered in your chest, just a degree shy of the steady drums in your head.
"I overheard you talking to Alphys," you said, as timidly as you could. "Your brother, the one you lost … he's the reason you want to check, isn't it? Because you think he might still be down there. Do you honestly believe that? Do you really think, after this long, you'd still find him there?"
Sans had already found it uncomfortable to breathe, but now it felt impossible. His emotions began to boil. His shoulders hardened. His teeth set. "you don' know a thing about it."
"Then tell me! Is it because of what I said about the gray door in Waterfall? You know that's not proof of anything …"
"you're not the only one who's seen those gray ghosts."
You swallowed any words you might have planned. Your wild eyes implored him for more information.
He told you what he had seen. The more he articulated the events and circumstances surrounding his experiences, the more worry filled your gut. Everything he described—that the apparitions seemed invisible to everyone else, that they had appeared only after mentioning the specter in Waterfall—sounded awfully like a hallucination. You wanted to believe him, truly, but that shiver running down his spine, those circles under his eyes… . He wasn't well. You could see it at a glance. Who knew what concoctions his mind stirred up for him after so little rest, after what you had put him through?
"if he's there, and if he's as attuned to what's happening as i think," Sans said, "kid, he might have the answers you're looking for."
"Okay, but maybe," you said calmly, "maybe you should … sleep on it …"
Sans' heavy, tired eyes sharpened as they jumped to your face. "the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I-I just think that …"
"you don't believe me," he said. The edges of his tone were growing harsher by the second.
"It's not that I don't believe you; I'm just worried that what you saw wasn't … what you think."
He frowned and pulled open the app on his phone. He cycled through his history and opened a tab. "here." He held out the screen. "i got a chance to scan it."
"You know I can't understand …" You caught your tongue. You might not have possessed the intellect to read the results themselves, but there was no mistaking what he showed you. "Sans," you said calmly, uneasily, "there's nothing there."
Confused, he snatched the phone back into both hands. He flipped through the readings. Surely enough, his scan from this evening now showed absolutely nothing. No gray stranger, no graphs, nothing but a dark alleyway in Hotland.
His soul dropped. His thoughts pirouetted. Perhaps, with time's increasing instability, his phone had reverted back to a previous state of being, one before taking the scan. What if the stranger himself had manipulated it to leave no trace? Or maybe …
"Maybe we should go back," you said, "find a place to relax. MTT Resort, or … somewhere here … ?"
He stood stiffly, staring at his screen, though his eyes looked well past that.
"I'm sure if you tried to get some sleep …" you began.
"like that'll do any good."
"I know you've been trying to hide it, but you obviously haven't slept in days!"
"and why do you think that is?" he snipped. "sure as hell ain't got nothing to do with you or the living hell you put me through. it's not as if i get nightmares every time i close my eyes, or … or that i'm constantly afraid the world'll spin back and leave me behind …"
"Sans," you breathed, eyes wide. "That won't happen. It can't happen. I can't reset anymore!"
"i know," he said. "did i call it fucking rational?"
A pocket of silence drowned you. You had petrified into a frozen human statue. The more you drank in his words, the more your soul wrenched, the more hatred you garnered toward yourself. So this was it. This was how he really felt. You were right to think you had broken him. You were right to think it was all your fault.
"let me have my way for once," he said, voice shaking. "believe in me for once. 's all i want, kid."
You wanted to. You really did, but … "I can't just let you put yourself in danger."
"it could be my only shot to save him. how's this any different from what you're doin'?"
"It's not the same," you said, and it was the wrong thing to say. "I might actually have a chance."
His eyes emptied. So many emotions crossed his face, you couldn't place them—but every single one broke your heart.
He nodded resignedly. He emptied himself of all feeling, as it only sought to rend his soul deeper than he might survive. He held onto hope. He wouldn't let you stop him.
You were both on your own, now.
"good luck, kid," he said.
And with that, he disappeared in a flurry of cyan.
The upper floors of the lab had darkened again save for the light of the surveillance monitor, which flickered with the image of an unassuming Waterfall offshoot. The display blinked once, then twice. A flash of cyan blue tasted the contours of tiles and machinery, but only once before withering fast. From its epicenter tumbled Sans, flat to the ground like yesterday's laundry. He lingered there a second, his bones aching, tired, resisting him.
Once he had an honest grasp of his surroundings, he reached for the wall and pulled himself to his feet. His head spun, but he didn't fall. His soul seared with more damage than he had felt since the last reset.
His ribs stung behind Undyne's bandages. Their magic had worn off, leaving the wound to repair on its own. He slid a hand inside his coat. From what he could feel, ripping out of space so haphazardly had undone some of her hard work. Teleporting this far when his magic ran nearly dry had not been the most prudent decision, but no regrets now.
As he stood, catching his breath, he reopened the app on his phone. Still nothing. Even so, he couldn't believe it was a hallucination, not until he saw the rift himself.
Down past the elevator, Sans took his all-too-familiar path through True Lab until confronted with a locked, multi-key door. He paused. This was new. Alphys must have installed it for fear of loosing her secrets—not as if that prevented the amalgamates from escaping.
He sighed miserably and massaged his forehead. If only he had time to search for the keys, or even hack the system. Instead, he envisioned what he knew used to lie beyond this door, and gathered power to open a portal.
If his shortcuts had resisted him before, they all but denied him now. Though his font of magic ran low, this wasn't the problem—at least not entirely. What he had last interpreted as a fabric too thick to fold had now become a substance too fluid, too wild and unstable to capture and manipulate. With tremendous difficulty, he grasped the blanket corners to bend them inward, however slippery and wavering the fibers might have been. The resulting portal snapped around him like a bear trap.
You had been frozen in panic all of five minutes before clicking back into gear. You were walking. Good. Running. Even better. You sprinted down the cobblestone streets of the capital, back the way you had come.
After a few wrong turns and some minor monster run-ins, you made it to Alphys' lab. Thankfully she had forgotten to lock the front door. You searched frantically for the light switch, and when you found it, the luminance unveiled sparse information. If Sans had come here, he had left no traces. With his ability to teleport, he could be anywhere in the Underground. He could have gone straight to the rift, for all you knew.
As your eyes lifted to the surveillance monitor, it dawned on you that the power to find him blinked just ahead. After figuring out the knobs and switches, you flipped through every single camera feed. Sans was nowhere to be seen.
You remembered the way he shook, staring into the elevator. Without a second thought, you tracked down the upstairs lab footage and rewound. Surely enough, after a patch of static, Sans finally appeared on screen. Your stomach ate itself to see him withered against the wall, laboring for strength and breath as if he had just run a marathon on broken legs. You watched him approach the "bathroom" elevator to the True Lab.
There were no cameras down there. You hoped you could find his path to the rift without them.
This elevator ride, though the shortest of all elevator rides, felt to take longer than all of them combined. You paced around the small, rectangular confines, your headache roaring to astronomical proportions. When you caught your reflection in the polished metal doors, however, your feet slowed to a halt. You stared into this face, one that you had never felt truly at peace with, no matter how many times you reset. You reached out a hand to touch the cold steel. In light of everything you had said and done … was it still you?
The doors slid back open before you could decide. You remembered your purpose here and ran out into the cold, dismal corridors of the True Lab. The hallways to the left and right led to dead ends, you already knew. You approached the four-key door and felt for the multicolored card in your pocket. You took a deep breath, steadied it between your hands, and inserted it into the center module. The door slid open.
NOTES
AND SO IT BEGINS. Next chapter begins the climax and I am PUMPED. I haven't even started writing and my heart's racing.
Anyway, thank you for reading! If you have thoughts or feelings, I love hearing them.
Next Up! Our heroes begin their descent.