Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I just enjoy borrowing her characters for a while.

AN: Slight delay in this chapter as I have been away with the family this week. Don't worry…as previously promised, there will be no more long delays and I'm still aiming to update once or twice a week. If it's longer than that, like this time, it'll never be more than two weeks before I update.

Thank you to everyone who is still reading this story. I am so grateful for any support and especially reviews. It's difficult to explain how much they mean to be and it makes me so happy to receive them.

We are coming to the most controversial parts. I can't seem to help dividing readers and so I'm sure that not everyone will be happy with what's to come. Please remember that if reading bad things happening to Edward upsets you, then the end of this story is very likely not for you. Proceed at your own risk.

After this chapter, there are only three more chapters and then the epilogue left. The end is in sight and I really hope you enjoy it.


Can't Hold Onto

Jasper

A car was approaching the house.

We'd all gathered on the drive, waiting. We weren't expecting visitors. We'd told no one we'd returned. The whole family were hopeful but apprehensive. I was sure we were all hoping it was Bella.

We were all disappointed.

The last time we saw Bella, she was badly injured and our inaction had been a significant contributing factor to what had transpired. If the wolves had not been so determined to honour the treaty, they would have fought alongside Bella to destroy the newborns that were attacking her and it was obvious that those young vampires would've been no match for the pack. The wolves' noble intentions and commitment to their word only shone a light onto our questionable motives. We were putting our concern for Edward above everything else again. The way we had seen it, he was the only one truly hurting. Bella had seemed happy and settled with Garrett and all we'd really wanted to do was to find a way to get a resolution for Edward that we could all live with. It was obvious now that there were other things in play that we hadn't been aware of. Bella was family too. Her safety and wellbeing were just as important as his.

The occupants in the approaching car were arguing loudly enough that we could hear their raised voices clearly as they got closer.

"This is not a good idea, Charlie!" An unfamiliar male pleaded, his voice thick with conflicted emotion but sure, steady and persuasive.

"It's Chief Swan or Sir when we're on duty. You know that." The response rang with authority and even if he hadn't identified himself, I'd of recognised his voice instantly.

I felt a strong pang of loss, remorse and longing from Alice. She'd cared deeply for this human and still did. I was definitely not on first name terms with Charlie Swan, but it was difficult to identify him as anything other than Charlie in my head. He'd been discussed endlessly in our family from the moment Bella stormed into our lives but especially when we left Forks and then when we thought Bella was lost.

Alice cared about him enough that the impact of our choices on him were an important consideration for her. Carlisle and Esme cared about him and respected him too, but not enough to weigh his needs above Edward's. It had been yet another point of division in the family so of course Rosalie resented him, but the rest of us held him in high regard. Alice was the only one who loved him though and that meant he was also very important to me. I'd always try to protect anyone that Alice cared about and it was killing me how badly I'd failed. By failing both Bella and Charlie, I'd hurt Alice. I wasn't one to dwell on the past though. My past was so horrific that if I couldn't let it go, it would destroy me. Don't dwell, I reminded myself, learn instead. I couldn't change the past, all I could do was learn from it and try to do better in the future.

"You are putting me in a very difficult position," his passenger pointed out to Charlie with more resignation than rancour.

"There's no conflict," Charlie fired back. "The packs agreed, you agreed, I agreed. When we're at work, my orders are the ones that count."

"What exactly are you actually hoping to achieve?"

"I have some things to say. They can't wait," Charlie responded with grim ferocity.

We were illuminated by the police cruiser headlights as they swung round the last corner and Charlie was out of the car before the noise of the cut off engine died away. The wolf in deputy's clothing was right behind him, seeming to vibrate jerkily as he clenched his fists and his jaw.

"I can hear him," Edward said in awe, so quietly it was barely audible.

"The wolf?" I asked at the same volume.

"No, nothing from him. I can hear Charlie. He's so furious, his thoughts are clearer than normal."

"How dare you?" Charlie demanded, marching towards us fearlessly. "How dare you show your faces here? You dragged my daughter into your web of blood and lies, then you abandoned her, almost destroying her…" he faltered as Edward fell to his knees, clutching his head and moaning in despair at whatever he must've seen in Charlie's mind. I could feel the combined confusion and disbelief from my family. How much did he know?

"We're sorry, Chief Swan," Carlisle said sincerely. "All we ever wanted to do was protect Bella."

"Protect her? Is that a joke?" Charlie demanded. "The Redhead hunted her relentlessly after you left. That bitch tortured my Bella to death. She tormented her for weeks with her constant attempts to get past the pack and when she finally got her away from them, she physically tortured her for days before poisoning her with venom which tortured her for days more."

Apparently he knew a lot. Even Carlisle was speechless. How could we defend ourselves? Our actions were indefensible. Edward began rocking and sobbing. Whatever he was seeing in Charlie's mind was unbearable for him.

I was reeling too. Bella had known Victoria was coming for her for weeks before she'd abducted her? We'd assumed she hadn't known. Why hadn't she contacted us for help? We could've been here within hours. We would've killed Victoria or died trying. There is no way we'd have allowed Victoria to get her hands on Bella. Edward's sobs became a high pitched keen and I poured calmness at him. The effect was limited. I was exhausted and Edward's emotions were very powerful and difficult to subdue.

"And now your interference had put her in danger again," Charlie continued. He seemed determined to ignore Edward as the influence of my gift reduced him back from wailing to sobbing quietly again. "My daughter is missing her arm because of you!"

"You shouldn't know these things," Rosalie said anxiously. "It's dangerous."

"I know that!" Charlie retorted. "It didn't stop you telling Bella though did it?"

"The dogs have broken the treaty by telling you!" Rose pointed out bitterly.

"They didn't tell me," Charlie spat out, disgusted with us all. "The Redhead told me herself after she tore apart a thirteen year old boy right in front of me. I used to hold Brady in my arms when he was a baby and then I was forced to watch as he died trying to protect me. The Redhead just laughed at him and then proceeded to describe in excruciating detail exactly how she had tortured my daughter to death."

The deputy behind Charlie was shaking uncontrollably now. He was on the verge of shifting I realised. Charlie was so close to him, unaware of the danger behind him as he unleashed his fury on us. None of us would dare to approach him though, in case we were what finally tipped the wolf over the edge. We could only watch in horror.

Suddenly a vampire flitted out from the trees behind the cruiser. We all tensed before we recognised her as Bree. She darted to the deputy and put her hand on his chest, then whispered in his ear. His shaking slowed and he took several steps back.

"Charlie," Bree said gently, capturing his face in her hands. "Please don't distress yourself so. Bella is healing. All is well." She pulled him into a hug and he let her comfort him. "This isn't going to help. The pack are on the verge of coming after you but they don't want to escalate things further if they can help it."

"So they sent you?" I asked, diverting her attention from Charlie back to us. I was still struggling to understand the strange dynamic between the vampires and the wolves and my need to know was instinctive and I was unable to supress it. How could I strategize if I didn't understand the motives of the players?

"I don't speak for the packs. I represent our coven," Bree corrected me. "Bella and Garrett would be here if they could."

"We're sorry about what's happened," Carlisle interjected. "Is there anything we can do?"

"I think you've done enough," Bree and Charlie said furiously in unintentional unison, before glancing sideways at each other and suppressing ironic smiles.

"You could leave," Bree added and I really wished we could. I so desperately wanted to respect Bella's very clear wishes about this. So many decisions regarding her had been made without her input or consent and she deserved so much better. Again we had no choice but to override her wishes and yet again Edward was the problem. The rest of us wanted to leave when Bella had made her feeling on the matter clear and when she'd been badly hurt as a consequence of our treaty with the Quileutes. We'd thought that maybe she would be better off with us gone, despite our good intentions and determination to help her however we could. Edward would not be swayed though. All attempts to convince him to leave had failed. Just as we'd failed to convince him to stay two years ago, we now failed to convince him to leave. Both failures were a betrayal of Bella but if Edward wouldn't leave then we would stay too. We would try and protect Bella and Garrett from Edward's interference if that was the only way we could help her.

"I'm sorry. We can't do that." Carlisle answered Bree respectfully but she still let out a low growl in response. I studied her carefully, assessing the threat she posed. She was young to this life, much younger than Bella even, I realised. It was amazing that she has such control of her thirst around Charlie and her emotions around us. I could feel them clearly. I'd assumed the barrier to my gift was still there but no. Bree had strong feelings, I could sense them in their entirety, but she was managing them on her own.

"Can we go now?" the deputy asked, exasperated. His emotions were still muted to me, even though Charlie's and Bree's were not.

xWx

When we met the pack to sign the amended treaty at a midway meeting point of their choosing the following morning, we were relieved to find Bella and Garrett there too. Bella was pale even for one of us and her eyes were pitch black. She was moving a little stiffly but I was impressed that she appeared as healed as she was. Such grievous injuries could take days to fully heal.

Garrett was radiating protective fury as he stood at her side.

I was worried about Edward's reaction. After hours and hours of hell at the mercy of his outpouring of emotion as a result of Charlie's visit, he was back to being catatonic. He barely even reacted to seeing Bella and Garrett together but I couldn't trust it. It made no sense and was distractingly disconcerting.

"Bella, we're so pleased to see you're recovering," Carlisle said and Bella gave him a ghost of a smile in return.

"Jake said you wanted to see me," she said.

"Very much," Carlisle confirmed. "We need to tell you how sorry we are for everything you've been through."

"Why didn't you ask for help Bella?" Alice burst out. Bella just looked confused. "When you realised Victoria was trying to get to you after we left." Alice elaborated.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked and I wondered how many of her human memories had been dulled or lost in her transformation.

"We were waiting to hear from you. We would've come as soon as you contacted us," Emmett said. He'd been the least patient of us all waiting to hear from Bella. He'd missed her almost as much as Alice had and only Rosalie's ire had prevented him returning to check on her himself despite our promise to stay away until she contacted us. He'd also been devastated when he'd realised Bella had known she was in danger and still hadn't reached out to us. He couldn't understand why she wouldn't have trusted us with her safety rather than the wolves. He took his role as a protector of the family very seriously.

"How?" Bella asked, genuinely mystified

"By email or phone? You could've written if you didn't want to talk to us." Alice suggested, exasperated but Bella was staring at Alice like she'd arrived at a charity ball in a tracksuit.

"A letter?" Bella echoed in confusion.

"I know you were angry with us. That you had the wolves but Bella, how could you not have told us?" Alice and Emmett especially but also Carlisle and Esme to some extent were feeling hurt and disappointed but I was experiencing a dawning realisation because I could sense Edward's growing guilt, despite his attempts to supress it.

"He didn't give them to her," I informed the rest of the family and they instantly understood what I meant. They all turned to Edward in horror, the sense of betrayal stabbing and deepening as they realised the truth.

"Did you give her any of them?" Esme breathed. Edward didn't need to answer. We could see the truth in his defiant demeanour. "Why?"

"Because she deserved to be free of us," Edward responded instantly. "How could she move on while corresponding with her vampire pen pals?"

"Pen pals?" Emmett shot back in disbelief, "Bella is family. You told us she wasn't ready to see us. That she'd made you promise that we'd wait until she contacted us."

We'd all trusted Edward implicitly. It hadn't even occurred to us that he would do this. Even when we'd realised after Charlie's visit yesterday that Bella had known she was in danger, we didn't even consider that the reason she hadn't reached out was that Edward had lied to us. The extent of those lies was still unclear but it was obvious he hadn't given Bella any of the letters or items we'd left her.

I thought of how we'd agonised over our own personal letters to Bella. She wouldn't have received the Cullen Crest necklace that Esme and Carlisle had had specially made for her either. Then there was the trust fund that we'd set up for her. All of our contact details; emails, phone numbers, address and emergency PO Box in case we'd had to move unexpectedly. She'd received none of it. I checked that damn PO Box almost every day for two years, sometimes running for hours to get to it, I hadn't stopped even after we'd believed Bella was dead. Bella hadn't even know it'd existed.

Bella

They hadn't abandoned me.

I was struggling to process it.

It couldn't be true though.

"But you must've seen when I was in trouble, Alice?" I asked her.

"The first few days I couldn't really see anything. The family was so conflicted, decisions were made and minds changed so frequently it all became a blur and Jasper was so devastated about what happened, that all I could do was focus on him. The next few months I could see how upset you were but I thought that was because you were angry at us. Edward told us you hated Jasper for what had happened at your party. That you blamed me for organising that party when you clearly didn't want one. That you blamed us for his decision to leave…" Alice trailed off, lost in thought.

"Of course I didn't blame you for that!" I was angry that she'd believed that. Surely she knew me better that that? "I blamed myself for being stupid and clumsy and ruining everything," I told her.

"We believed him, Bella. Why wouldn't we? I was to blame. I pushed on with the party and didn't see the danger. Jasper felt horrible for what happened. He thought it was completely reasonable that you'd never want to see him again."

"But when Laurent tried to kill me?" I asked. That had been the moment when I'd finally given up on the idea that the Cullens would ever return. If Alice had seen that and hadn't wanted to at least check on me after I miraculously survived then everything Edward had implied when he left must've been true. They couldn't have cared about me at all.

"Laurent?!" Alice seemed genuinely shocked but they were such accomplished actors. Could I trust her reaction? "When did this happen? How did you survive? Why didn't I see?"

"The pack got to me just in time. It was very close. If Laurent hadn't spent so long talking, trying to justify why he was going to kill me, they wouldn't have got to me in time," I explained, watching her reactions carefully, trying to ascertain if her reactions were genuine.

"We were just waiting to check he wasn't one of your friends," Jake huffed beside me. "You are chatting with him politely and we didn't want to traumatise you. As soon as he made his move, he was dead. If he'd made it sooner, he'd of been dead sooner."

"I can't see the wolves or anyone with them," Alice explained. She seemed ashamed to admit this limitation. "I only realised it in the last few days. Anything that happened when you were with them, I wouldn't have seen. By the time she had you alone, it was too late. As soon as I saw that, we came straight away but we couldn't find you. Then when you ran after you changed you didn't decide anything, you just drifted. We searched for you Bella. We didn't stop until you were protected by and safe with Garrett. In my visions things went very badly every time we found you then and we thought you could contact us if you needed to. Then seven months ago you both disappeared completely from my visions. We thought you were dead, that Victoria had destroyed you both." Alice looked distraught. They all did.

All I could do was stare at the vampires I once thought of as family, who I'd believed had abandoned me but who were so clearly devasted. When I looked at Edward, he was barely recognisable as the vampire the human incarnation of me had been so in love with. Was I misremembering the softness of his eyes or the care with which he'd handled me? Had I even known him at all? How could the Edward I'd loved been capable of such cruelty? The Edward I was looking at now most definitely was. I could see how bitter and angry he was and how broken his family looked as a result of his lies.

I should be livid too. The suffering I'd had to endure in the last few months, weeks and days of my human life were as a direct result of Edward's manipulations but I wasn't angry, I was relieved. To say I'd dodged a bullet was a gross understatement and probably not a good analogy as I was bulletproof now. What would my life have looked like if Edward hadn't of left me? He was clearly controlling, manipulative and capable of deceiving those he claimed to love. He'd obviously had no respect for me at all. Thank goodness he'd left me. The painful path I'd taken because of that was worth every step because it'd led me to Garrett. To Jacob and the packs. To Fred and Bree. I wouldn't change a thing. I leaned into Garrett, his embrace was a reassurance against the terrifying images of what my life would've been like without him. He stroked my arms tenderly and I rested my head backwards onto his shoulder, trying to clear my mind so I could think.

The knowledge that the Cullens had never meant to leave me unprotected had changed something. I could sense them now. Their life forces were a dull, muted glow. Pale to the point of almost invisibility next to the bright lights that identified the pack to my shield or the throbbing beacon that was Garrett's essence. Garrett had asked me before if I could shield them from Victoria's gift and I'd immediately told him no. I couldn't trust them and I couldn't sense them. Except now maybe I could. Not Edward, never Edward…but the others. It would be hard, but not impossible.

It made me rethink The Net. The Net was one of the strategies we'd considered to trap Victoria. The idea was to cast a huge circle of us around her, too far for her to even be aware of threat and then I would shield us as we closed in on her, trapping her so that no matter which way she ran, she'd be forced to deal with us. But when we'd practiced during training exercises, using Bree in place of Victoria, there weren't enough of us to cast a wide enough net to be effective. We'd have had to draft in both packs in their entirety and no one was prepared to leave La Push completely unprotected. But if we added the Cullens, maybe it might be enough.

I looked over my shoulder, craning my neck to meet Garrett's eyes. He looked thoughtful too. "The net?" his mouth formed the words but his voice was silent. He was thinking the same as me but neither of us were prepared to consider it as an option if the other were not in complete agreement. I gave him the slightness nod so he'd know that strategy was no longer out of the question.

We both looked at Jake who was still glaring at Edward like he was deciding whether to sign the treaty or rip it to shreds and then do the same to Edward.

"Jake," Garrett said quietly, instantly drawing his attention. It only took a few hand gestures to get the gist across to him but the language we'd devised wasn't enough to convey the detail needed to make such an important decision.

"Right," said Jake, spinning back to the Cullens. "Let's get this signed. He held out his hand for the treaty and Carlisle looked taken aback, as if that with all the unpleasant revelations, he'd forgotten why we were meeting in the first place. It only took him a moment to focus and he handed the document he'd redrafted to Jake who gave it straight to Garrett. Garrett read it quickly before handing it back.

"It says what you and Sam wanted it to," he told them. Sam didn't question Garrett's assessment and both he and Jake signed it unceremoniously. Carlisle didn't comment on them relying on Garrett to check for deception and signed the treaty himself on behalf of his coven.

"We have considered your offer to assist us in dealing with Victoria and we think there may be a way you could be useful," Jake said. "We need to discuss it further amongst ourselves and you need to be sure which members of your coven are truly prepared to risk their lives to do this. Any of you that are committed to helping us can meet us back here in one day from now."

We didn't wait for their response. I turned and left with Garrett without a backward glance and we raced away. It was too much to deal with in that moment and the things I wanted to say to Alice didn't deserve that audience.

All I really wanted was some time alone with Garrett and a chance to rest and recuperate as my whole left side was still thrumming in pain as it gradually healed but that would have to wait for now. I knew Jake, Sam and the others would want to consider all the possibilities before coming to a final decision on how to proceed. We waited long enough to destroy Victoria and we'd utilise any resource available to increase our chance of success.


AN: I would love to hear your thoughts. Reviews are amazing and I will reply to them. I also consider what's said in them when I edit and try and improve future chapters.