Chapter 12

Sam rolled over in bed and tried to get his mind working to remember where he was and looked around the unfamiliar bedroom. It all came back to him in a flash, and he dropped his head back onto the pillow with a sigh. Knowing he wasn't going to get any more sleep, he got up and went to the bathroom and then slipped on the cutoffs and exchanged the T-shirt for the tank top.

He wandered into the living room and listened but didn't hear Dean, so he put on his sunglasses and headed outside into the bright sunlight. There was a gentle breeze blowing from the ocean and he headed down to the beach. Sam walked to where the waves were breaking and stood there, letting the water wash over his feet. He could feel the sand shifting under him as the waves pulled it back out.

Seagulls and sand pipers ran back and forth with the waves looking for food. Small crabs quickly dug into the sand away from any threats. Bubbles from other little creatures appeared all around him and he smiled to himself. He picked up several perfect seashells and moved back far enough where the water wouldn't hit him and sat down. Sam gazed out at the ocean and watched the waves forming before rushing to the shore. He saw a couple of guys further down the beach surfing and glanced at several older couples walking on the beach. They didn't look like a threat or anything, so Sam didn't linger on them.

He looked back out at the ocean and saw something surface for a moment before it quickly disappeared. He wasn't sure what it was and got up as if drawn to the water and walked into the waves. He was hip deep and stopped to scan the water trying to find what he saw. He took a few more steps deeper into the water and almost fell as the wave hit him hard. He kept struggling to get past the waves and stepped into a drop off, getting a face full of sea water.

"Sam!" a voice called to him, but he didn't hear it. "Sammy!"

Sam tried to swim as an undertow grabbed him and tossed him around. He came up sputtering and splashing trying to get out of the grasps of the unforgiving waves when another smacked him in the face. A small voice whispered to him, what if he just stopped struggling and let the undertow sweep him away. He wouldn't have to hide or worry about people wanting to kill him. The moment of weakness passed as quickly as it came, and a surge of strength surged through him. To hell with that, he wasn't giving up, he was fighting all the way, no matter what. Strong arms grabbed him and began to pull him back toward the shore as he struggled to get a breath fighting against his rescuer.

"Stop struggling Sammy!" Dean yelled at him pulling him to his feet and dragging him to the shore where they collapsed on the beach. "What the hell were you thinking dude? You could have drowned."

Sam coughed and wheezed as he got the water from his lungs and spit it out. He looked over at Dean's worried face through blurry eyes, before hanging his head ashamed of what had happened. He knew how to swim, though he didn't do it often and should have known better than to go into unfamiliar water like that.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked him, trying to see his eyes to be sure Sam wasn't lying to him.

"I'm fine," he wheezed out as he coughed again and let a shiver run through his cold body.

"Come on, you need to get out of those wet clothes." Dean helped him stand and guided him toward the gate and into the backyard. "Can you make it to your bathroom?"

"I'm okay now," Sam assured him stepping from his grasp and worked on keeping his balance.

"Go take a hot shower and I'll do the same then." Dean watched Sam walk slowly away toward his bedroom. He didn't know what Sam was thinking going out in the water like that and hoped it didn't mean something else, that he was trying to harm himself. He knew Sam was stressed, worried, and not in the right mindset after the attack. He sighed heavily and headed for his own bedroom to shower and change clothes.

Sam stood under the hot water and shivered as it started to warm his cold body. He tried to understand what had happened and why he kept going, but nothing made sense. Was his subconscious trying to tell him something? He was smarter than that. He braced himself against the wall and shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

Sam finished his shower and stepped into the bedroom with a towel cinched around his hips. He looked in the duffel and pulled out briefs and socks first, slipping them on. He felt a little uncomfortable wearing someone else's clothes, but he had no choice and then thought of it as buying clothes from a thrift store. They were worn by someone else too.

Once he was dressed, Sam wandered back into the main part of the house letting the smell of cooked food lead him into the kitchen where Dean was finishing breakfast.

"Hey, sit, it's almost ready," Dean told him as he sat a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Thanks," Sam mumbled wrapping his hands around the cup for a moment before bringing it to his lips to sip.

"I think I need to lay some ground rules out for you," Dean started in his tough, professional voice. "Absolutely no swimming in the ocean unless I'm with you. If you want to do any swimming, use the pool. And no going off on your own while we are here. You 'bout gave me a panic attack this morning when I couldn't find you. Understand?"

Sam hunched his shoulders as Dean scolded him and nodded yes when he stopped.

"I didn't hear anything. Do-you-understand?"

"Yes sir, I'm sorry," Sam said, glancing up for a moment before dropping his eyes.

"I'm being tough on you because it's my job to keep you alive and I can't do that unless you work with me. Here, eat," Dean told him as he set a plate with a bacon and egg sandwich on it, cut up fruit, and a glass of orange juice.

Sam looked at the food and grimaced slightly, not sure he wanted that much to eat.

"I saw that, you need fuel for your body. I make a mean sandwich." Dean sat down with his own food and began to eat watching Sam as he studied the sandwich for a moment before finally picking it up and taking a small bite. He smiled to himself when Sam took another bigger bite. "After we eat, let's run over to the surf shop and grab some swim trunks. They'll be better than cutoffs to swim in."

"Okay," Sam agreed sipping his orange juice and wiping his mouth.

"Sammy, I gotta ask this," Dean started looking at him with concern. "You weren't trying to do anything stupid like hurt yourself, were you?"

Sam stopped chewing and stared wide eyed at Dean for a moment before dropping his eyes. He wasn't sure how to answer that since he wasn't sure himself. He could feel his face growing hot as he bit his lower lip.

"Why would you even think about doing something that idiotic?" Dean scoffed. "You can't let those assholes win that way. You're tough and you're smart and you have common sense. Don't sell yourself short by any means," He huffed madly and pinched his lips together for a moment as he assessed the situation and determined what to do next. "Okay, talk to me. What's going on in that brain of yours?"

"I really wasn't trying to kill myself," Sam finally admitted. "I don't know what happened. Something inside of me was telling me it was a way out of this mess but then I realized how wrong that was and I started fighting to get out of that undertow. Sorry if I hurt you with my struggling."

"You didn't and good to hear that. Do you trust me?" Dean asked.

"Yes, of course."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you under my watch. You just need to hang in there and let me do my job. Can you do that?"

"I guess," Sam sighed knowing he was right.

"If you do want to talk about anything, I'm a good listener," Dean told him in a gentler voice. "You're not alone in this, though it might feel like it at times."

"I know, thanks. And I appreciate it."

"Well, finish up so we can go shopping. I for one want to try that pool out." Dean popped the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth and took his plate to the sink. He sipped the last of his coffee and rinsed his cup. "I'll be ready in fifteen minutes; that should give you time to eat."

"Okay," Sam answered as he continued to eat. When he was done, he took his dishes to the sink too and headed to his bedroom to brush his teeth and put on his shoes. He grabbed his sunglasses and hat before walking back to the living room, to find Dean was there waiting on him.

"The shops not far, I saw it coming in. Do you need some water shoes too to avoid stepping on something if we walk down the beach again?"

"Yeah, that would be good. I know how easily you can step on something buried in the sand because you don't see it."

Spn

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the surf shop a short time later and found a suitable spot. They got out and went inside to shop. Sam went one way and Dean went another as different things caught their eyes.

Hey Sammy, what size shoe do you wear?" Dean called to him holding up a pair of black and red water shoes.

"Umm…I guess twelve. I'll be over in a moment to try them on," Sam replied freezing when it dawned on him that Dean was calling him 'Sammy', like a nickname. He thought back and realized he had done it previously. He didn't mind it and thought maybe they were on their way to becoming friends. He quickly looked through the swim trunks and chose a dark gray pair with a red stripe running down the side.

"Now these are what you need for your walks on the beach," Dean crowed as he held a red speedo up for Sam to see. "I'm sure you'll have the chicks swooning for you."

"Not on your life," Sam insisted as his face turned red when he saw a couple of women looking over at them and whispering behind their hands as they checked them out. "I found a pair of trunks," he grunted wanting to disappear.

"Awe, you're not the adventurous type?" Dean chuckled holding the speedo up to his jeans. "Man, look at the price for such a small piece of cloth. It's crazy to pay that for this. You might as well go out naked."

"I'd pay to see that," one of the women called to them as they laughed.

"Maybe next time sweetheart," Dean replied dropping the speedo and heading for the sensible trunks.

Sam looked through the shoes and found a pair that would match his trunks in his size. He wandered back over to Dean, giving the women a wide berth so they wouldn't decide to talk to him. He waited as Dean looked through the rack, finally picking a pair of trunks to his liking. He stopped at a display of sunscreen and grabbed two bottles deciding they didn't need to get sunburnt while there. He also grabbed a couple of brimmed hats for them to wear while walking on the beach.

"Okay, we're good to go, let's get out of here. I'm ready to do some relaxing in the pool."

They headed for the cashier and paid for their purchases. One of the women stopped Dean and gave him something before he could get out the door. He got in the car and looked at the paper. It had a name and phone number with a note, if you'd like to get together, give me a call and your friend can come too. Dean laughed and gave the note to Sam to read. Sam rolled his eyes and snorted a laugh telling Dean to go for it.

Dean headed back to the house and the first thing they did was change clothes and apply sunscreen to enjoy the pool for a while. It was refreshing and just what they both needed.


A/N: They settle in at the beach house and enjoy a little time exploring and swimming. It helps relax both of them. Only one more chapter and this tale will be done. Thak you to any guests who have left reviews. I do like reviews/comments. NC