Tired. It was a word Tessa had known all her life, but until the birth of her daughter, she hadn't comprehended the full meaning of the word. This kind of tired was different, one in which you couldn't fully form thoughts, or remember simple things like how to get past the lock screen on your phone.
Tessa woke to the sound of a baby crying, and dragged her sore exhausted body into a sitting position. Thankfully Lucie's bassinet was right beside her bed. Tessa picked up her daughter, got her settled in for lunch, and laid back down. She managed to doze a little while Lucie nursed, though she felt not at all rested by the time she woke up. Lucie was still laying beside her though, now asleep rather than nursing. Some part of Tessa's semi-conscious mind knew Jem was somewhere in the house, and Will was working a night shift, but the rest of her world was hazy. She did know that Will often worked strange hours. He always contributed this to the fact that fires didn't take holidays.
Picking her sleeping daughter up, Tessa put Lucie back in her basset before laying down again and dozing off. Tessa woke a while later to light words spoken near her ear. She opened to eyes to see Jem standing before her. He was carrying Lucie who seemed to be awake again. Tessa blinked at him a few times before she registered what he was saying.
"Are you hungry?" Jem asked. Tessa searched around in her body for her stomach, looking for the answer to Jem's question.
"Yes," she said slowly. Jem smiled at her, kissed her cheek, then walked away carrying Lucie. Tessa was too sleepy to question how exactly food was coming, and decided to go back to sleep. What felt like five minutes later, she woke up once again to Jem's presence. For a brief moment she panicked since she couldn't see Lucie in Jem's arms, but then she noticed the baby rocker beside the basset was moving back and forth, as if keeping an infant asleep. Tessa relaxed again, knowing full well her panic moment had nothing to do with her trust of Jem, and everything to do with her irritative emotional state. It amazed her how tuned into her baby her brain had become. That, partnered with the lack of proper sleep, meant she had become prone to panic over small things.
"I made breakfast," Jem whispered gently. "All you have to do is come eat it. Then I am sure Lucie would like lunch as well."
"It's like a food chain," Tessa mumbled as she got up. "You feed me, I feed her."
"Now we just need to convince Will to feed me, and we'd have a complete line," Jem chuckled as he picked up the rocking baby carrier and left the bedroom. Tessa followed, lead by her nose and the delicious smell of waffles. She vaguely noted Jem placing Lucie and her rocking apparatus down, before sitting at the table and starting on her breakfast. Since she'd started breast feeding, she'd learned that she could eat a lot more than she could before. She'd sometimes had similar moments when pregnant, though it had been paired with nausea, which kinda ruined the effect.
"That was great, thanks Jem," Tessa said with a sign. The food had greatly improved her general awareness. As soon as she finished the last bite, Tessa picked up her now slightly fussy daughter, and continued the food chain line. Lucie was full and sleeping again when her father arrived home.
"I am so tired," Will said collapsing on the couch, and covered his face with his hands. Tessa couldn't help but snort, even if Will did look a little worn down.
"Try waking up every two hours to be a human bottle," Tessa said. "Then we can talk tired."
"I hate night shifts without fires," Will whined not even rising to the bait. "At least if we have stuff to do, it's easy to stay awake."
"Personally, I like it when you don't fight fires," Tessa said. "It means I don't have to worry about getting a phone call at the end of your shift instead of you."
"I agree with Tessa," Jem chipped in. And right on cue, Lucie started crying. Will was up in a flash, and scooped his daughter into his arms.
"What's the matter Angel," Will cooed. "What could possibly be so bad in your world to be worth making such a noise as that, hmm?" He rocked her back and forth as he continued. "Really, you have it made little one. People waiting on you all day, coming to your aid the moment you swauk."
"My daughter does not swauk," Tessa grumbled. "Here, give her to me. She's probably hungry. I swear this kid has a built in clock. Every two hours on the dot."
"Not fair," Will whined handing her over. "I just got home and you'd had her all day."
"Grow some boobs then you can feed her, and I'll get to sleep for more than two hours in a row," Tessa said, grumpy as she scooped her daughter back out of Will's arms.
"Come on, I doubt you'd like me with boobs," Will replied rather too matter of factly for the topic at hand. "I'd probably never get lucky again."
"What part of Lucie hurt like hell, and you are never touching me again did you not understand?" Tessa asked as she pulled down her shirt and attached Lucie to her breast, not bothering to cover up since both the men in the room had seen it plenty of times before.
"Oh please!" Will said. "You were totally kidding. I can't imagine you being celibate."
"You can't imagine pushing a watermelon out of your vagina either can you?" Tessa told him. Will's face at these words was so priceless that Jem burst out laughing.
"Oh, what are you laughing at," Will teased Jem. "You can't get her pregnant. I bet that's a total turn on for her right now." This shut Jem up as his expression turned more thoughtful as if this had totally not occurred to him.
"Sleep is a turn on," Tessa said frankly as she returned to bed, with a nursing infant in her arms. "Thanks for breakfast Jem."
"Anytime," Jem called after her.
Tessa closed the door behind her, blocking out the light and sound. Her arms, tired from holding the baby to her chest, Tessa laid down. Lucie's weight was now held by the mattress, and the relief was instant, then closed her eyes. For a moment it was wonderful, then it was as if the ground shifted under her. Rationally she knew the world wasn't spinning, but for a moment there, it was like she could sense the fluid nature of the globe, or maybe she was just dizzy from lack of sleep.
Tessa woke to the bright light from the open door. Lucie was waking up as well, although this time, Tessa could smell that is wasn't because she was hungry. Once her eyes adjusted to the light, Tessa saw Will smiling down at her, all hints of teasing gone from his eyes. Then Lucie began to cry in earnest. In the amount of time it took Tessa to summon the willpower to sit up, Will and pressed a gentle hand to her shoulder, encouraging her to lay down.
"Don't worry, Tess," Will smiled at her. "Go to sleep. I've got her."
"She's stinky," Tessa mumbled, as a way of reminding Will that his taking her now would mean changing her diaper.
"I got her," Will repeated. Tessa's eyes closed, as she felt Will's strong arms pull Lucie within their protective grasp. Tessa was just awake enough to feel Will's gentle kiss on her forehead, and noticed the light disappear with the soft sound of the door closing.
When Tessa woke up, she felt unusually well rested. The feelings of exhaustion she'd all but gotten used to had gone. The soreness around her eyes, and the fog in her mind had cleared. Sitting up, she noticed that she was steadier on her feed as well. Worried, Tessa checked the time, but as she had no idea when she'd fallen asleep, the time meant little to her. Standing up, Tessa left her room in search of her daughter who was probably very hungry by now. She was squinted in the bright lights of the living room, Tessa managed to make out the shapes of her boys. Jem was sitting on the couch with Lucie in one arm, and a book in the other. Will was in the kitchen at the stove, but Tessa couldn't see what he was doing.
"How long was I sleeping?" Tessa asked.
"Nearly ten hours," Jem informed her.
"What!" Tessa exclaimed instantly frantic. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"You needed to sleep," Jem told her.
"Not that much," Tessa disagreed, but then Tessa stopped freaking out for a while as she gazed at her perfectly happy sleeping daughter. "Why isn't she crying?"
"We already fed her," Will said moving out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Formula."
"But I was trying not to use formula," Tessa whined.
"And you were losing sanity points by the hour," Will reminded her. "Eating formula meals while you sleep won't hurt her, Tess." She must've given him a dubious look because he continued. "I did research. You want to see?"
"Yes," Tessa said definitely, though she knew they were right. Her head felt so much clearer, and the world wasn't spinning anymore.
"It's on my laptop," Will replied. "And I talked to a doctor."
"Yeah okay, I believe you," Tessa sighed, going to sit on the couch next to Jem. It was strange, she hasn't been away from Lucie for so many hours. Tessa reached out her hand to gently stroke her daughter's soft head.
"I rather like feeding her," Jem said. "It makes me feel closer to her." And just like that, Tessa was sold on formula. It melted her heart to see the absolute look of adoration on Jem's face when he looked down at his daughter.
"Hey, I fed her first," Will chimed in, ruining the moment.
"And don't you agree," Jem continued not raising to the bait. "That it creates a unique bond?"
"I doubt she will think so when she's older," Will added. "I can picture the rebellious teenage years already. Any kid of mine won't be easy to raise."
"Ha," Jem laughed. "Understatement of the year."
"No man is ever going to be good enough for her," Will added.
"Or woman," Tessa added, thinking of Magnus and Alec. "Let's not pre-judge."
"I think our little trio will be the last to judge anyone," Will laughed. "We are a little hard to define aren't we?"
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Tessa said, smiling. Lucie looked so peaceful in Jem's arms, but still, Tessa felt the need to be the one holding Lucie. Tessa missed having her baby close. It was a new and strange feeling, being so tied to another being, but Tessa just couldn't be away for too long. She reached out her arms to indicate what she wanted, and Jem gladly obliged. Tessa sat back, with her perfectly happy baby sleeping in her arms. It wasn't until she heard the music play, that she realized Jem had left the room and returned. Looking up she saw Jem with his violin in hand, playing something Tessa hadn't heard before. Then slowly, Tessa realized she did know this song. It was called 'Baby Mine', and if Tessa wasn't quite mistaken, it was from an old disney movie called Dumbo. Though she couldn't remember the lyrics, the melody was beautiful. The song moved slowly, a gentle feeling to it, as if rocking a child.
"She is going to like you more than me," Will sighed as the song ended. "You are 'cool Jem' who can play music. All I do is sit at a fire hall and wait for disasters."
"She is going to take you to school on career day," Jem told Will with a smile. "And brag about her daddy the hero."
Will's smile said it all, but rather than admit how much his best friends words meant to him' Will said, "My job is rather cool isn't it."
"Oh yeah real cool in a crisis you are," Tessa snorted. "Who almost called 911 at the first contractions?"
"Hey!" Will barked. "That isn't fair. I was a little nervous." Tessa just rolled her eyes.
"Thank god for Jem, or I'd have ended up having her here in the living room with you passed out in the hall," Tessa grumbled. Will looked sulky and started muttering under his breath, but Jem was laughing.
"Don't be too hard on him Tessa," Jem said once his laughter had died down. "I mean, it is Christmas. Harass him again in the New Year."
"Christmas?" Tessa said. It had been a while since she'd registered the day of the week, let alone the calendar.
"Don't look so shocked," Will laughed. "Or did you not notice the decorations?"
Wow… so few reviews... Seems like few people have things to say when the chapters are happy. That means you guys want more angst, right?
Also who watched that Malec tastic episode of the show last night? OMG! Those flashbacks were epic.
And finally one more thing to say... I keep getting requests to 'please update soon' and though those kinds of reviews are awesome and I know you guys are excited to read more I can't help but laugh at them a little... because I always update soon. #HasNoLife And though I say this... I also want reviews more than oxygen or food so... yeah...
Sneak Peek Chapter 69
"So what you're say," Aleida spoke slowy as if unsure she'd understood correctly. "Is that your boyfriend, who I haven't even met yet, wants to fly me half way across the country to spend Christmas with his family."
"Um," Magnus said. "Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because he wants to spend Christmas with me," Magnus said tentatively. "And I want to spend Christmas with you."
"And he can just do that?" Aleida said over the phone. "Just up and invite strangers to his parents house."
"Seem so," Magnus replied.
"What has your heart gotten you into this time, Mags," Aledia sighed, but Magnus could tell she was smiling.
"Either an awkward dinner or a wonder vacation," Magnus replied. "We shall have to wait to find out." Aledia's laughter has filled his ear after that. Then she'd asked for flight details and the matter had been resolved.
PS - you can thank LightBehindTheShadows for that sneak peek. I originally had no intention of writing Magnus telling his aunt about the holiday before you reviewed that you wanted to read it.
