Chapter six
Another sleepless night
Konaha 2 years ago
Sakuras head hurt. Badly. She wished for something to take the pain away. She dashed through the forests ino and sai in tow. The discovery of village hidden in widows was dangerous. One that needed to get to konaha and now. This was bad. Really bad. A rebellion on the wave. She pushed forward, blood pouring down her temple and across her cheek.
"Blossom. Your leaving a trail." Sai said from behind a boar mask. They came to a stop. Her while cloaks good dampened with sweat and blood.
"Fuck." She said. Her chakra reserves were low. Too low to waste on healing herself if she planned on making the rest of the way to leaf before exhaustion hit. "Delilah." She motioned to ino. Who pulled her hands up, "no. I need fabric. Something to stanch the flow. Don't waste chakra unnecessarily."
"Blossom." Ino started. "All due respect taichou, you getting back to the village alive is not unnecessary." She brought her hands back up.
"What are your levels." Sakura stated. " Delilah what are your chakra levels at?"
Ino stopped. Hands halfway to her temples.
"22%"she replied too quickly.
"then it's unnecessary. give me a cloth."
"unnecessary I swear to…"she pulled a pack of gauze out of her satchel.
"Thank you Delilah." Sakura turned to sai. "you're the quickest Boar." She pulled out an empty scroll. Scrawling out the information, quickly and legibly. "This is for hokages eyes only. Don't stop until this reaches her. Even death will not excuse this." Her voice was steady as she handed the scroll over. "absolutely No stops."
"Yes ma'am." His voice low as he pulled out his own summoning scroll and drew a swan. It kept off the paper and sai jumped on its back. "Blossom, Delilah, be swift, or be deadly." His voice was low. Menacing. The swan moved up into the sky flapping its paper wings, and Taking off towards the village.
"We need to go. Now." Ino turned her head over shoulder. "We have more incoming. And fast."
"Well then. You know what to do." They split, taking off like a whip in diffrent directions, casting genjutsu on their tracks.
——
Two days it took, two days to make it to the village. Sakura beaten and bruised, carrying a bloodied mess of a girl on her back. Inos leg had been broken by a mean crack of a man whose taijutsu matched that of rock lee. She decided then and there that if they made it back, ino and her would take him up on the extra lessons he promised.
She pushed forward entering the village gates. Genma looked over from his post, mouth a jar.
"Kami. Blossom, Delilah, can't you ever come back from a mission in one piece?"
"We need to get her to the hospital. She's suffering chakra depletion and a head wound. Her left legs broken in two places and I'm pretty sure her right patella and part of her femur." Sakura heaved her up slowly where she had been sagging.
"Aye aye captain." He saluted her as he called out for medics. Two nin with a stretcher came running out of the check station, leaning her down, Inos hand came to sakuras.
"Good job taichou, mission accomplished. Remember to put in the part where I kicked ass and saved your skin." She gave a weak laugh.
"Shut up and let them take care of you."sakura squeezed her hand, before letting go.
"Same to you, you need to see a medic as soon as your done reporting. Send boar to my room." She could tell the blond was smiling behind her cracked mask. Blood spray covering her body, matting her hair to her scalp.
"You got it, comrade."
With that the med nins bolted in the direction of konahas finest. She turned to Genma.
"I need to see hokage sama. Now." She ordered.
"Yes, she's in the tower. She's been expecting you."
Sakura bolted forward, a rejuvenation in her step knowing sleep would be in her immediate future.
"Your sure?" Tsunade looked over the scroll again. A whole village under rains nose? How?
"Positive. Seen it myself." Sakura said. Weary from sleep deprivation, suffering the effects fast now that she had the information in the right hands. Now that she was semi safe.
"How many?" Tsunade read over the scroll. She couldn't believe her eyes. She turned in her chair towards kakashi. Already in his ANBU gear, mask to the side of his head, standing in the ready.
"400. At the least. Ranks unknown. We were ambushed before we could get an accurate count." Sakuras mask was also to the side. The coating of dirt and grime on her body mixed nauseatingly with the smell of blood. Mostly Inos.
"I'll send word to the kazakage. I'll also send word to the mizukage. We will need all the help we can get." Tsunade pondered this.
"Requesting permission to faint ma'am." Sakura deadpanned.
Tsunade stopped and looked at the pink haired nin. "What?" As it left her mouth kakashi flickered to her catching her as she dropped.
Kakashi shifted her weight in his arms.
"Permission granted." Tsunade looked up, to kakashi. "Take her to the hospital. Then, I need you to assemble two teams. I'm going to get the messenger hawks ready. You were right, hatake."
"Hn." Was all he said as he darted out the window towards the hospital. Looking down at her, her fragile frame covered in blood and dirt.
She was a strong woman, a strong kunoichi. Her battle scars did nothing to claim the beauty. His heart pounded in his throat. He ran harder. The sooner he got her there, the sooner he could punish the village who tried to take her from him.
She had been smart, sending sai out first. The fact that she was a captain now meant she had to make hard choices. Put her team first.
He reached the waiting room and strode in. Walked to the nearest Gurnee and deposited the small woman onto it, "MED NIN STAT!" He called out, as two nurses darted into his direction. He squeezed her hand. He would find the nins who outnumbered her and yamanaka. As the nurses Trollied her down the hall calling out.
"We have a frequent flyer with chakra depletion and a head wound, Abdominal Trauma unknown, two stab wounds and low heart rate." At this the nurses paused. Shizune stepped up to access the damage, she turned to kakashi.
"We got this from here, hound, she's going to be just fine. You know her." She put her hands over sakura green chakra glowing as they ran past the double doors into the surgery department.
He did know her, and knowing her she would be up and requesting to join the fight in less than a week. He shook his head as he dashed back out into the night.
Had he created a monster?
Konaha present day
Tsunade poured her sixth bottle of sake out into two cups. Sakura, who didn't know how much more her body could handle after her birthday Rendezvous yesterday, took the offered cup with Hesitance. Tsunade downed hers in one gulp. She eyed the pinkette.
"Well?" She slurred a bit.
Sakura scrunched up her nose and put the cup to her mouth. Sipping. "Ugh." Her voice murmmered. Tsunade reached forward, and tilted the cup higher, Sakura didn't fight it as the hot liquid burned past her esophagus. It was better to just do as drunk Tsunade says other than fight it and end up with cup dodging and bar repair costs. Not to mention her mentor was a sloppy drunk to start off with.
"Well what?" Sakura coughed.
"Well, how are you feeling?" She said with a rude smile on her face.
"Fine." She looked into her emptied cup.
"Seriously? Why would I make time out of my day, every week none the less," Tsunade swirled her hand in the air, "and buy you expensive sake to loosen you up a bit, just to get one word answers out of you?"
Sakura blinked. "Um. Shishou, I'm the one buying the sake though."
"semantics. Question still stands."
"Well…then. I guess..." Sakura breathed out. "I guess I'm ok." She looked back at the blond, who's unexpressive face did not change. "Ok ok, Gomen. I'm still fighting. I'm not giving up, or giving in. I'm breathing day in and day out. I'm finding the beauty in life." Tsunade poured her another cup. "Arigato." She downed this one. Not thinking twice as it tore through her esophagus, making her cough a little.
"Well." Tsunade started, downing her own cup, "If I didn't know you, I'd say you were very wise." She said in a dull voice. "Hell your photographic memory was spot on. Those words were straight off the last page of your diagnosis write up, if I remember correctly." She raised an eyebrow to the now grimancing pinkette.
"You do." Sakura deadpanned.
"Then tell me, in your words not the shrinks, what is going on in that fabulous little mind of yours, sakura." Tsunade sat back, pouring the last of the sake bottle into their cups. She motioned for the bartender who looked to sakura. She put more ryo on the counter and like magic a new bottle produced itself in front of the two girls.
She sighed. "Sometimes I'm ok, really, ok. I feel like my smile isn't forced and I can breathe. Like really breathe. Then I think back, to times where I was able to do that same thing. I felt so free being in ANBU back then." She looked into her sake cup. The mirroring image of herself starring back at her.
"I know your scared sakura. But the time is coming, for you to face that fear head on. It wasn't your fault. Theirs a reason they call the battlefield lonely." She said, pouring more sake for herself.
"I know shishou. I just…I'm not sure I'm ready."
"When the time comes, you will be." She downed the sake as an voice spoke low.
"Is this seat taken?" Sakura turned in the barstool, facing the silver haired copy nin who seemed to always try to sneak up on her. seemingly late he was getting better at the pop ups.
"No. Not at all." Tsunade said, motioning to the left of sakura. "Actually. I think I felt a shift in the air. My luck might just be turning…" she looked to her student, a small smile on her face. "Give me 1000 ryo. I have a good feeling this time." Sakuras mouth dropped.
"Shi-" a finger came to sakuras lips.
"I'll pay you back with the winnings!" She laughed at sakuras dumbfounded face. Then proceeded to grab her wallet.
Sakura knew better than to fight her. Maybe a year ago she would have. Hell, a year ago she wouldn't be sitting in a bar on a Thursday-she looked at her watch and huffed-Friday morning. Sakuras irritation grew as Tsunade walked away.
"Your welcome shishou." She grumbled as she grabbed for the sake bottle. Realizing Tsunade had taken it too. "Hai. I knew this was going to be an expensive night.." sakuras face dropped to the counter as kakashi took his place next to the pinkette.
He motioned to the bar keep and put some ryo on the table.
"Why do you let her walk all over you?" He questioned turning to his former student. "If you had said no-"
"She would've just thrown a fit and I'm too tired to even think about combatting that." Sakura murmmered through her arm.
"Mah. You need to stick up for yourself." He said as a bottle of bourbon was placed in front of them, the bartender looked to kakashi who held up two fingers, with both cups ready he passed sakura her glass. She picked it up and downed it in one go. Her face turning up as she coughed.
"Your supposed to taste it, and roll it between your tongue and teeth." He laughed as he sipped from his glass.
"Yeah, well, I don't actually enjoy the taste of the stuff." She sighed. Sitting up right as he poured her another cup.
"Why drink at all then?" He smirked at her.
"Not all of us are connoisseurs, sensei." She rolled the last word as she looked at the reflection in the cup. The brown liquid starring her down. She swirled the liquid. Turning to face kakashi and rested her face on an open palm. "Why do you drink the stuff?"
"Because I'm a distinguished gentleman." He responded quickly. Eye crinkle in place.
She giggled. Swirling her cup again. "I suppose so, but that's not nearly enough reason to be drinking. I won't pester however." Her fingers drummed on the counter to a song playing faintly in the background.
"Well I supposed if I were to answer you truthfully, it's because I failed someone. Truely failed them." He sipped again. Glass empty, he poured a refill. Sakura looked at him, eyes wide with the honesty.
"Kakashi?" She spoke as he turned his face back to hers. "If that's your reason, can it be mine too?"
"Only if you will talk to me about what you think you failed." He suddenly drained his cup. Pushing the bottle forward and stood up, holding his hand out to her. "And if you'll accompany this old man home. I'm scared of walking alone at night." He smiled at her.
"Really sensei." She said flatly.
"Have you seen me? I'm very good looking. My charming looks may get me kidnapped, or god forbid, assaulted!" He shuttered dramatically.
"I suppose a strong lass as myself shouldn't leave a damsel in distress." She gulped her bourbon. Swearing mentally at Tsunade for taking her sake, and stood. Taking kakashis outstreached hand as he led her to the door. "Also, you need to stop reading those porn books. It's way over theatrical to the real ordeal."
"Mah, sakura. These things actually happen in real life." He squeezed her hand as they passed through the doors into the early morning frosty wind of spring.
"Yes they do. But usually they don't happen to shinobi. Shinobi of our caliber especially." She rolled her eyes.
"Tell me, who is it you think you've failed." He tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow as they started walking. She was only a little wobbly, she guessed that was since most the alcohol she had consumed was just starting to hit her. The cool air felt refreshing on her warm skin.
"You know the answer to that." She breathed closing her eyes as she walked.
"Well. I suppose I do. Since I've failed the both of you."
She stopped, opening her eyes to kakashi. He stood directly in front of her now, his arm still clasping her hand.
"What do you mean sensei?"
"I failed you, and I'm sorry for that. In failing you, I also failed yamanaka San." He looked up to the sky. The stars showing clearly above them. "I've sadly failed you more than once."
"You didn't fail me kakashi." She pulled her arm, which he held onto. Other hand coming up to cover hers. "Let me go."
"Your a terrible drunk."
"And your going to want to move that hand, or lose that hand." She said.
He pulled forward as he did sakura stumbled.
"I think you still need it." He continued walking Sakura in tow. "Especially stumbling like that."
"Kakashi. Let's get one thing straight here." She seethed. "You did not fail me."
"Sakura." He turned, putting his hand on her shoulder. "I failed you the minute I didn't come to you after the incident. I failed ino the moment I let you wallow in it.." He sighed. "If you get to shoulder your grief why can't I?"
"Because you don't see her face in your head when you close your eyes! You don't feel that when you wake up everyday!" She exploded.
"Who are you to say I don't?" He said harshly. "Who are you to tell me I don't feel the loss. That Konaha feels the loss."
She was at a loss for words.
"I know how you feel. I have people who have died on my watch, sakura. You are not the only person to lose a fellow shinobi while at arms, alas, someone you swore to protect." He pulled her into his arms. "But it is I who have let her down, myself who told her I would look out for you. I wasn't there for you, not until recently did I realize you were not coping."
She stood in his arms, shaking. She didn't feel the tears, only their warmth. As he held her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling her cheek into his shoulder.
"Gomen kakashi…" she sniffled. "Shinobi shouldn't cry, but I can't seem to stop myself."
"Shinobi can cry. Emotions do not make you weak sakura, they make you human. Do not forget, you are allowed to feel."
She woke to kakashi sitting on her bed, shaking her gently. Her nightmare in full force. Tears covered her face, screams died on her tongue.
"Sakura…." He held her. "I'm sorry." He said, the heat that radiated off him made her calm a bit from its familiar presence.
"Hai." She said shakily. "It's fine." She wiped at her face. "Why are you still here?"
"Mah, you asked me to stay." He said.
She barely remembered that. After they arrived back at her appartment she felt the full affects of the alcohol in her system. He held out a glass of water to her, she took it eagerly sipping slowly.
The sun was starting to peak through her blinds.
"What time is it?" She blinked. Her clock was dark, and she wondered if the power went out briefly.
"5:20ish" kakashi said. "Your clock is broken in here." Damn.
She sighed and sat on the edge of her bed, putting her head in her hands. She was too tired for this. Looking over at kakashi he was still in his jonin pants but his shirt was gone…and so was his mask. His sculpted jaw on display, full lips and beauty mark. He had sleepy eyes, she knew he hadn't slept much, like her. Scars littered his chest, which had a dusting of sliver hair. His hair a disorderly, even more so than usual.
"I'll never get used to that." She said admiring his face. He gave her a sheepish grin. Sharp canines on display.
"Mah, sakura. Am I too handsome to focus?" He winked at her. She could feel the blush on her cheeks. It was diffrent when he had his mask on. Somehow less attractive and more teasing.
"Hai….I guess Ill make some coffee."She started to get up. But he grabbed her arm. Pulling her back to the bed.
"Come back to bed." He tugged her into an embrace, hauling her down to the mattress tucked into his arms. Her back to his chest, successfully spooning her. Her face heated more so. She was pretty sure if their was more light she would put tomatoes to shame.
"Hai. Kaka-"
"Sleep sakura. I'll wake you if you melt down again."
"I did-"
"You did. Sleep."
"But-"
"No one can survive on 3 hours of sleep a night." He stated. She sighed. It wasn't the first time she had slept next to the copy nin. During her six month training with ino and kakashi for ANBU they were constantly together.
"Doubt I can sleep like this." She muttered. He nuzzled up into her hair.
"I've been told I'm an excellent cuddle partner."he proclaimed.
"Hai." She did feel comfortable. "I'd punch you, but that would be animal abuse."
"You wound me, sakura." He layed his arm over Hers and laced their fingers together.
She closed her eyes. "Kakashi?" She whispered
"Hn?" He breathed over her neck.
"How do you sleep so easily?"
"I myself, like to count sheep."
"No." She groaned. "I mean with all the…well…"
"Death that lingers?"
"Hai." She replied.
"Well. I use deep breathing techniques, if that doesn't work, I make meaningless mental lists. And if all else fails, I tell myself without proper sleep, I can't possibly put my life on the line to save those I care about the next time they need me. I won't be at my best." His breath tickled her ear.
"Hai…" she started a list in her head of all the poisonous plants she could think of, breathing deep.
Within minutes she seemed to fall back into a restful sleep. Comforted by a warm body.
When she woke up the bed was empty, she felt next to her and the spot was cold. He had been gone awhile. That made her feel a little lazy. It wasn't often you woke before the Notoriously late copy nin. She had a sheet on her, which usually she kicked off. The light coming in the window was bright and blaring, what time was it? She sat up and looked at her blank clock. Fuck.
Standing up she dropped the sheet to the ground and padded barefoot into her living room and to the breakfast bar where her watch laid. 11:36
Wow. Late morning. She seen a coffee cup and a note under it. Picking it up and turning the note over seeing kakashis terrible scrawl she tried her best to decipher.
'Sakura, had to check on the pups. Will be by later.'
She sighed. He really didn't need to check up on her like he had been. Did he mean what he said yesterday? Did he really blame himself? She took the coffee up to the sink.
She decided a shower was in order, her showers didn't usually last that long. Twenty minutes sometimes, on bad days when she didn't sleep much she would let the hot water scald her a bit. But today she felt rested and somewhat rejuvenated. She grabbed her yoga pants and a sweater, picking up the dirty laundry in her bathroom then her bedroom.
Setting it down in the living room and looked around. Her kitchen was an absolute nightmare, her living room needed a good dusting, the bedsheets also needed a good washing.
What better to do on a lazy Friday. So she started cleaning. The kitchen only took about a half hour, the living room another hour, and before she knew it she was bringing laundry out to her patio to hang dry in the spring breeze. Only took her until 4:30.
After clipping the last sheet in place she reached into her hidden drawer on her railing and pulled the ciggarettes she kept hidden for days like this. She lit one up, the medic in her said she was killing herself, talked in her head about what her lungs looked like with one smoke, not to mention a few packs in. but the human in her said vices were natural. She took a long drag and let it out her nose. Nothing like a good smoke to relax.
She felt the chakra enter her appartment before she took another drag. Weird, usually he used the sliding glass doors of her balcony. Maybe he didn't want to bother her because she was out here?
"Well we'll, the medic likes to preach good advise but doesn't take it herself, Hn?" Kakashis voice called from the open slider.
She turned to him leaning in the doorway, arms folded on his chest. A bored expression on his face. "Hai. I'm allowed a few tolerances in my life. Not to mention I'm the one healing you guys usually half dead. Don't preach to me when you all have a death wish." She pulled the sweater around her tightly.
"Hn."
"Don't 'Hn' me. Real answers kakashi." She put the butt out and replaced the pack in the drawer.
"Hn." She turned to see him smirking at her. She rolled her eyes.
"Did you want to stay for dinner?" She looked him up and down, his usual jonin gear in place.
"That actually sounds amazing, but I have to say decline. I have to meet with Genma in an hour to prioritize a mission on Sunday." He smiled at her. "But if you want we can grab breakfast tomorrow?"
She laughed "sure. Oh!" She slapped her head, "wait. Does that mean your free Saturday night?"
He looked at her curiously. "I might be."
"Well naruto asked me to ' chaperone' his date with hinata…" she looked sheepishly at him.
"Mah. Our little naruto is growing up so fast." He pretended to wipe a tear away from his face. "I guess I could escort you three." He laughed as they made their way inside. "Does this mean your trying to take me on a date?" He wiggled his eyebrow suggestively at her. "And right after you asked me to stay the night….can't get enough of me I suppose." She smacked him playfully on the arm.
"Hai. Konahas copy nin top batchelor, I wouldn't even dream of taking you off the roster." Her laugh was light.
"What time are you guys planning?" He looked at her still grinning.
"Naruto said 7, so be here at 5." She looked over at him, "and don't be late."
"Why 5? Trying to coordinate our outfits?" He elbowed her a few times. She looked up at him. Green Eyes catching with coal.
"Actually it's because I want to make sure we arnt late, it's a fancy resturant, so don't come all scruffy." She turned and made her way into the kitchen.
"Mah. Sakura, I would never show up with a beautiful woman in tow looking a mess." Eye crinkle in full bloom.
"Hai. Sure sensei, sure." She proceeded to pull up ingredients for that nights dinner as he made his way back to the door. "Just don't be late."
"Of course, wouldn't dream of it. See you in the morning sakura." With a wave and poof he was gone.
