14 November 1942

My Dearest Matthew,

My dearest, dearest Matthew… I will admit your confession caught me off guard - not because it was unwelcome, but because it's still hard for me to believe that someone loves me. You love me, and I love you too… I was scared to admit it because so often people I love (or are supposed to love me) have a habit of leaving me behind. I love you, I love you, I love you… my heart flutters every time I write those words, but it's true.

I love you, Matthew Lawson.

And I want you in my life for a long time to come, I'm nowhere near done exploring life with you by my side.

Well, Miss Addy has a place here with me, whenever she arrives. You'll pull through, all of you will… but there's been no news on our end either - I scour the news for any tidbits, as well as if I recognize any names on the casualty lists, but so far (thankfully) I've had no luck.

I'm sorry to hear about Gibson, he was the one who went a little green about rigor mortis? Would you like me to reach out to his family on your behalf, to send condolences from one of his fellow soldiers? I hope Warner got seen to. If not, I'm so sorry and I offer the same thing, dearest. I'm here for you, through each death, through each hardship… I'm here.

Let her breathe, dear Matthew, sometimes there's such a thing as too much affection. (Perish the thought, I know.) I can't wait to bestow my kisses upon her myself (and her very handsome handler.)

You're very welcome for the journal and I absolutely adore the flowers for my birthday. Mum found it very amusing that bottlebrushes made up the bouquet, but I love them so much; the fact that they come from you makes the teasing I get about them worth it all. I hope your journal dried out enough to keep it!

Alright… Christopher will remain in one piece… for now. It was something Miss Fisher said (more than once) if she and Jack were fighting, but no, no axes in your future if you behave. (Which you will, you're the politest, sweetest man I know.)

Just for that, we'll get into all possible shenanigans in the future - it'll be fun watching you cluck after us like a mother hen.

Continue daydreaming, dearest, I know I will; it comforts me as I know it comforts you throughout all of this. You'll have plenty of kisses waiting for you when you come home… and I promise I won't take on too much in order to distract myself and burn myself out.

I can certainly train you up to be a proper doctor's assistant, Nurse Lawson, to help out with boo-boos (are they really called that?) Oh certainly, we can definitely rile up the Collins kids and send them back with Dot and Hugh. I'm also sure Rose will enjoy being around her uncle for some time, after all, she and Vera have told me about your antics, she loves her uncle so much.

Baby Cooper is kicking more these days as Clara is nearing the end of her second trimester - both Vera and Jean said that was good; Jean in particular seemed… I don't know, bittersweet when she said that… I'll have to get the story out of her one day, but I think it's a painful one so I won't push. Clara's still basking in the "glow" of pregnancy and we're hoping to surprise her with a nursery makeover in her and Eric's house in the next few weeks; what I lack in my knitting skills I more than make up for in my home maintenance skills like carpentry, painting, and building furniture. (I suppose car maintenance is also included in that list, I do love taking engines apart still.)

Yes, friends and family we collect are definitely the ones who matter in the end, after all, I now have a whole new avenue of friends and family thanks to meeting you, dearest. We might add to those ranks, but I'm enjoying the family I have now thanks to you.

I once told myself I'd never go back to Sydney, but with you by my side, I'm not as afraid to step foot in that city again. I just hope we'll find something.

Yes, we will definitely have to add more bookshelves to the house, but we'll figure that out after the war's done and we have all the time for making the house a home.

Kissing the wounds makes them feel better? Is this some new-fangled scientific method I'm unaware of? I suppose you'll just have to show it to me the next time you're home, I'll need first-hand experience if I'm to learn about it all.

I've never had a partner, a boyfriend, like you, Matthew… I'm glad that I do. You don't want to change me to fit a mold of your liking, you offer to change together instead and you respect my decisions… I love that about you. I love you. If we decide to take on children… they'll not find a better father.

I hope you're right about Peg… I'll not worry too much until after the war is done and we can focus some attention on it. Everything's too much of a mess right now to get any real answers anyways, so I'm going to focus on finishing school and supporting you and the boys.

No new boarders as of yet, though we've had a few interviews. Phryne has included me on a few of them, but none have been a good fit so far.

You silly man, yes, you can nap with me and also tell me if I snore after we both wake up, not before. We can also see if you snore, dearest.

I'll make a list of all the parks we can visit, and note that we also should return to the one in St. Kilda for nostalgia; picnics and kisses galore! Miss Addy, of course, is always welcome to come along to inform us of dastardly wrinkles in the blanket.

I'll try to send more biscuits when I can, but we're trying to save up for the holidays in our rationing, so no biscuits for right now. I'm glad they were appreciated nonetheless.

I've not yet told the puffed-up professors about the mending practice, I'm saving it for a particularly bad day when they've got the sticks shoved further up their arses; in any case, I will certainly tell you all about it when it does happen.

The knitting is improving, and thanks to Vera I've got Mum's measurements so I can start on the jumper by the new year; Jean has a wonderful pattern that she'll help me start when I visit in January. I really hope Mum will like the color I've picked out for her, it's a very pretty blue.

I await your return, dearest, and I can hardly contain my glee over the day I get to see you again.

Yours, Always,

Alice