CHAPTER 6: A LOSS SO DEEP IT CUT
Hey folks, I've been on a good streak for the last few weeks for some reason. I even have a new SakuraxSasuke story up right now (check profile). Now we're getting to the GOOD stuff so hold your drinks and popcorns ladies and gentlemen, love is in the air and obstacles are always, always not too far away.
- Love, Lorime
Loss was foreign to Hinata. She'd witnessed how it had destroyed others though... She'd seen how it had wrecked both Naruto and Sasuke from a very young age.
She couldn't imagine a life without someone she loved dearly. Especially not her parents. Her parents were her everything. Neji and her had both grown in one of the most loving households you could ever think of. She'd known nothing else but soft parenting, cherishing and pure affection.
Her mother especially had been such a huge support throughout her life with the many hours of attention she'd dedicated to her mindless talks and silly questions about life. Patience, love and care. That's all she'd known. That was the exact image of her parents.
That was the reason why she currently had forgotten how to breathe... As soon as the words "I'm sorry" came out of her brother's mouth on the other line she'd only heard a slump. Realizing minutes later that it had been from her falling to the ground.
Phone still in hand. Completely still and stuck to her ear. Eyes flooded with painful tears. Oh God, was this what they'd felt? She wasn't ready... She didn't think anyone could ever be... How did people survive the heartbreak of losing one parent? The pain she was feeling right now was excruciating... How could anyone ever handle this much pain? She once had witnessed one of her university friend's father's funeral. It had been an awful thing to watch... such tragedy... And now it was her turn. It was meant to happen one day, of course... But she'd never expected it to be so soon, so abrupt... So painful... She had lost both... So quickly... so unexpectedly. God...
There was no coming back from this. Hinata would officially loathe winter. She would hate the freezing cold it brought, this reminder that no matter how high the temperature of the heater, it would never replace that lovely warmth she received from her parents. They were gone. The storm had taken their lives just like that. What an ugly feeling it was to process that awful finality death brought.
How was it possible that one day she would receive a warm message of reassurance from her mother encourageing her to go out there and face that high school reunion. To now hearing that their car had snatched their souls away on the highway?
She hated this life now... She suddenly hated everything around her. The stadium's heater brought no warmth to her anymore. She was cold, empty, sad, destroyed within seconds. That was how death felt. That was how suddenly you could go from smiling happily because the man you had had a crush on for years had sacrificed his safety to check yours to feeling absolutely nothing.
"Talk to me Hinata... what's going on?"
That was Naruto's voice... She was sure... or?
Actually she wasn't sure of anything anymore. She was numb, she couldn't feel, see, smell or process anything at that point. Just utter and complete void. Emptiness.
One second she was full of happiness at the sight of the crush of her life safe and sound and both of them passing the time as they waited for the long awaited announcement they could all leave the stadium. The next she was ravaged by that unexpected phone call from her brother announcing to her the most awful news he could have ever shared with her.
They'd passed away in such a cold manner too... A terrible road, covered with snow. A slippery path that carried their car off the road and down a hill.
They would not have an open casket. That was all she got from his teary explanation. Neji didn't cry. Ever. And yet you could hear him struggle to talk on the other line as he tried to also process their loss.
As of today Hinata and Neji Hyuga were orphans... What a way to end such an awful day...
"What?"
Sakura rushed in as the medical staff surrounded her bestfriend. She was having a severe panic attack and it was ugly.
Looking around, she noticed Naruto at the door. He looked around the room with sad eyes... Hinata was a pitiful sight... Heavy breathing, erratic, surrounded with four nurses trying their best to calm her down. But it wasn't working... How could it ?
It was her parents. She visited them every two months. She spoke to her mother every single Sunday. Sakura knew how deep this would cut her. Hinata was as fragile as she carried herself. That was why she was treading so lightly with everything. She cared way too much about people. And hearing the horrific way in which her parents left this world? God save her...
As she stared at a distance per the medical staff's request, she felt Sasuke join in behind her. Avoiding his gaze, she kept her eyes strictly on her bestfriend. Whatever they had done or almost done a few minutes ago was of no importance anymore. If anything this was a reality check... Life was as fickle as they said...
You could wake up one day and just like that the people you cared about the most were gone forever leaving you scarred for life.
"Healing her heart will be impossible..." she whispered, feeling tears silently running down her cheeks.
Sasuke stayed quiet. She wasn't surprised. He had horrible social skills whenever emotions were this high. If anything he ran away from it. She was surprised he had even joined the room. On a normal day he would be far away from here.
Then he surprised her further by passing her quietly in Hinata's direction. The staff suddenly held their hand up to signal him to keep a distance as they tried to manage the situation but there he was, getting even closer till he finally reached her.
On one knee, he stared for a second before approaching Hinata's ear and whispering something. Feeling a violent need to be protective Sakura took a step in their direction when suddenly, at anyone's surprise Hinata's commotion stopped.
She was staring back at him with the same painful eyes but it's like whatever he had told her had reeled her back to their common reality.
Then Naruto joined them, one hand holding his phone. He was still on the phone with Neji who had witnessed everything on the other line and asked for an update on Hinata every two seconds.
"She's calmed down I think, are you by yourself though?"
Sakura closed in on them with a worried look in Hinata's direction who was now being aided by the medical staff with some water.
"I'm glad she's with you... sorry for your loss man..." Naruto continued. One hand on Hinata's shoulder.
"I can't believe this really happened... like just how..."
It had now been a couple hours that they were at the stadium, sheltered away from the storms. The medical team had successfully calmed Hinata down and put her to sleep. All three of them were sitting in the room as she was in deep sleep a few feet's away.
"Death is such a dirty bastard..." Sakura added to Naruto's statement.
"How do you even recover from such news..." she continued.
Without looking at them, Sasuke answered her coldly.
"You never do. You're just slowly forced to accept that this is your new reality now... and you have to carry on like it doesn't eat you alive at every single scent, sound, feel that seem the slightest familiar to the one you lost..."
Quietly Sakura looked up at him sitting across the room in the dark. It was now 3:45AM. None of them could sleep. The day had been awful and had now ended in an unpredictable tragedy. Yet they were supposed to go about it the next day like nothing happened... He was right...
Sakura quietly stared at him from the corner of her eye. Ever since the announcement of their passing his mood had been quite different.
He wasn't much of a talker in the first place but right now he was just... cold. She knew he'd lost his parents a couple years ago but he never spoke about it, to anyone... She had no idea just how much this affected him. No one did.
Like he could hear her thoughts calling him, his eyes suddenly were on her. Caught off guard she looked away but it was too late. He'd caught her staring. In typical Sasuke fashion though he would've ignored it and looked away like nothing but this time he continued staring. She felt naked. The intensity was too much.
Suddenly feeling self conscious she'd left the room. Leaving him, Naruto and Hinata. The day had been long and eventful. She needed a break from all this build-up.
As she was walking away she thought about earlier. A sad feeling a disappointment washed all over her. She didn't regret allowing herself to feel tonight. She didn't regret embracing what she'd been silencing for the past few years. But that kiss had done more damage in those 5 minutes than she could have ever imagined.
Sasuke was too much, she felt way too much and she hated that his smallest action in her direction could wreck so many years of protective walls. She felt naked. Tonight was too much... for everyone...
2 days later... Hinata's place
It had been 2 days now that they'd all been able to leave the stadium back to their houses. Everything fell back in place like nothing had happened two days ago. The roads were getting repaired yet people went back to work like tragedy hadn't struck the city earlier. The snow was still painfully covering the sky innocently like it hadn't just ruined Hinata's year just 48hrs ago.
Staring blankly at her ceiling fan moving around, it had been 48 long hours that she'd been unable to sleep. Grief was disgustingly damaging to one's psyche. She couldn't see life the same now that her parents had theirs taken in such a horrific way.
She'd been off her phone for days now and she knew her friends were probably worried but they could wait. Her phone could wait. Life could wait. After splitting her heart in such a way it was only right to let her recover, if she could ever do that...
Fuck life.
She'd cried so much at the stadium that she'd fallen into a state of numbness. After Sakura had dropped her off she'd begged her to leave her alone until further notice. She knew it was harsh but being faire to anyone wasn't her priority right now. She just didn't care.
"Ding"
Another notification from her laptop. That was the 52nd in the last 24hrs. And yes she'd counted. Weirdly enough grief made her aware of all her surroundings. How bland the painting in her room was, how she'd never noticed she didn't own any flower patterned outfits, how she avoided looking people in the eyes when they smiled.
It was suddenly opening her eyes to a lot of insignificant details about herself that she'd never cared to even pay attention to. The biggest one ? Well, as crazy as it sounded now it was that her obsession with Naruto was probably not love.
In the last few days she'd been over analyzing the meaning of her closest relationships and that of those she cared deeply about and as much as she could admit she loved her brother or Sakura to death, was it really the case with Naruto ? Or simply just a weird parasocial obsession with a person she'd focalized her admiration on for the last decade.
Her eyes slowly followed the direction of her laptop facing her on the bed and she noticed the notification was a google alert.
How ridiculous and pitiful was she ? She had notifications on for a man who barely noticed her a few years ago at her own brother's wedding.
As she stared at the notification she suddenly stood up while processing what it was.
It was her. Why was her face on an article?
Grabbing her laptop she immediately clicked on the link to see the picture better. It was a picture of her and Naruto at the stadium. Laughing and his hand on her shoulder. It looked intimate. Too intimate. At least enough for the general public to be all up in his business to question who she was and why was the F1 champion posted with a woman.
Because she couldn't help herself, she went through the comments and there it was. What she'd always feared when she'd imagined herself living like Naruto or Sakura in the limelight. Hate comments. Not just one, not just two... in the thousands. Then more articles popped up as she continued silently scrolling. And suddenly numbness consumed her again.
Naruto's House
"You did what?"
Sighing already, Naruto knew where this was heading. The doctors had informed him that the big peace of glass that he'd stepped on in the snow a few days ago would leave an ugly scar. He'd cared very little about that, or the fact that the recovery would take him at least 3 weeks. Only about Hinata and obsessing over how he hadn't heard from her since she'd left the Stadium with Hinata with the most empty eyes he had ever seen.
"Can you just try making my life easier sometimes ? Why would you go out in the storm?"
He blankly listened to his manager on the other line. Barely paying attention to his rambling. Taking a sip of his coffee, he stared at his dog playing with his tiny toys already mentally logging out of the conversation.
"Things happen, I'll be back well and running in a few weeks. Maybe even earlier than expected if I limit my outings and focus on recovering."
"Yeah well I hope that's your goal man. Cause I just got off the phone with the company and there are a couple F1 events coming up that they are recommending you make appearances to. Just a little press tour and update on how you've been doing flying off the radar and stuff."
"Basic PR then... which event?"
"There's a premiere for the F1 sponsored Japanese movie "The Chase" which is happening on the 13TH of this month. I think let's focus on your recovery first, I'll confirm with you later on for the charity event you were meant to attend."
"Oh I'm still attending that. No matter what..."
The man sighed, he knew how Naruto felt about philanthropy. It had a totally different meaning for orphans like him. He would never let a little injury prevent him from making some kids happy.
"We can discuss that later. I have another question."
"Yeah?..."
He knew what he was going to ask.
He knew what was coming. Unfortunately for them, the storm didn't distract everyone away from their own issues. People at the stadium did recognize him a few days ago and pictures had been flying around on social media. About how the F1 superstar was injured during the storm.
However NARUTO was smart, he knew the man was asking because of one particular photo. As we all knew, he wasn't by himself that day. And people cared a lot about superstars and mystery women stories.
It had been trending the whole 2 days. They had the decency to have blurred Hinata's face per his request but social media was the worst place for privacy. So her name was starting to come up in some comments as some people recognized her from Konoha High-school and started spreading stories.
It wasn't bad press at all. To be quite honest, Naruto didn't dislike it so much. However it was absolutely not the time for her and he did want to enjoy getting closer to her without the pressure of the attention he's gathered on himself through his career. It would scared any regular woman away.
He certainly didn't want her to go anywhere. His manager though? Quite the opposite.
"I wish you listened to me sometimes... this has already started creating silly narratives on social media, please be more careful. I can't tell you who to date or when to date-
"Thank God you remember. You seem to forget that a lot manager." He cut him off.
"BUT let's be discreet, because this is about your and her safety as well here."
He was right. As much as he hated when he had to admit that to himself. Hinata didn't need to get harassed by random people on social media and end up on gossip blogs. That didn't fit her. She was a sweet soul, who only deserved praise, appreciation and respect for her privacy. Especially right now.
Staring at his other phone in his hand he continued staring at the multiple messages he'd sent her that were left on delivered.
"I've already reached out to some people to get her face off social media blogs and all that. However to be very honest, there's so much I can do. I'll need to speak to her about these things."
"So does that mean this is serious?"
"I don't know, I would wish to though, she just needs time... and grace please, especially now ."
"What did she tell you her thoughts were about all this on social media though? It's getting quite..."
Nothing. He had heard not a peep from her. It was worrying, scary and troubling. He couldn't stand by any longer.
"I'll call you back..."
At her front door, Naruto stared at the door. He was nervous. He'd been standing there for the last 30mins in silence. Paying close attention for any noise signaling crying, screaming but none came. Just painful, ugly silence. White noise. It was scary...
Knowing the state he'd left her in the last time they'd seen each other he was scared of her being by herself. But Sakura had been firm. Hinata didn't want anyone to bother her. She'd said Hinata had requested for everyone to give her a second.
He wanted to respect her wishes so much but with today's news. He was worried it would add to her stress. And yes he wanted to see her really bad as well, as selfish as it would sound but then again he knew the pain of loss more than anybody and being alone in that instance was the worst thing one could do to themselves. And he was right...
In seconds chaos could be heard behind her door. Shattering glasses, painful screeching, worrying knocking. For minutes it went on. Even as he called her name to open up. She was destroying everything, she'd reached her breaking point. He'd been right. And that was his cue.
After assaulting her front door until it gave up as he was shouting her name. Naruto was in. And as he stared at the state of her house he noticed the most pitiful sight he had ever witnessed.
Hinata was on the floor, on her knees. Hands full of broken glass from her shattered mirror on the floor. Her back was facing him and as he placed one step towards her she turned around and he froze.
All he saw was him. Years ago as he'd lost everything and given up on life. That was him behind those empty eyes that life had ripped the life from. That was the same familiar pain that those tears soaking her cheeks represented. His heart was breaking in milliseconds as this sense of understanding washed all over.
Hinata was lost. She needed help, she desperately needed help even if she didn't think so. And he wanted to serve it to her on a silver platter.
Rushing to her side, disregarding the pitiful state of her room or the pain in his foot, he fell to his knees and took her face in his hands as she stared back in tears and wonder. She probably didn't know if his presence there was even real or not.
So he caressed her cheeks softly and it's like she realized. He could pinpoint the second she did realize that his presence wasn't an illusion. Her cries went even more violent, even louder and wrecking. Oh Hinata...
What a beautiful, beautiful woman... This moment he knew he would never ever forget. Because as horrible as it may sound. This was the moment he realized he truly wanted this woman to be his. He wanted to show her the path to the light and butterflies that she was known for always loving as a child.
Naruto realized then, as his eyes filled with tears and wonder just how much he would give to make this woman realize just how much life had more to offer than this wrecking grief she was consumed by. He wanted to make her realize that happiness truly existed despite the hurdles and shadow moments life was sometimes filled with.
Hinata was his focus in this moment. Nothing else and no one else mattered but her and their pathway to finding each other. That was his mission now, if she let him...
Was this... Love?
Welcome back oh old friend...
Not aware that miles away an old trigger had just landed. Eyes on the cold snowfall as her taxi driver finished loading her luggage in the car.
"Is that all ma'am?"
"Yes."
"Welcome to Japan, are you staying for long?"
"I plan to..."
"Great!"
"At least till I get what was once mine back."
To be continued
REVIEWS ! OTHERWISE IM GHOSTING FOR 10 YEARS XD
