Chandrila, 9 ABY
.
"You okay?"
It was the third time Karrde had asked that question since the Wild Karrde dropped out of hyperspace in the Chandrila system. With the amount of traffic around the capital, Mara didn't anticipate landing for at least another hour. If she had to hear Karrde ask it again, she might accidentally murder him.
"I'm fine," she said, her voice hard enough to cut transparisteel.
"You don't have to land on the planet with me, you know. I can get Aves to speak with Mon Mothma's representative."
Mara snorted. "Aves is a great businessperson and pilot, but he is not the type of person you want liaising with the government for you."
Karrde regarded her for a moment. "And you are?"
Mara rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the sensors. She'd volunteered for pilot duty during the landing, wanting to keep herself occupied, and the other crew on the bridge were ignoring the two of them. Still, this was not the time nor the place she wanted to indulge her past secrets. If she ever would.
"I've had experience in the matter. Besides, I'm familiar with her aide, Rath Velus. I'm certain we'll be able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement."
"I hope so," Karrde said. "But if you're distressed-"
"I'm fine," she snapped. "Can we please drop the subject?"
Karrde raised his hands in surrender. "As you wish."
"Thank you."
A minute went by before Karrde said, "I'm just surprised you wanted anything to do with the New Republic capital."
Mara dropped her head into her hands and groaned. The really annoying thing was, she didn't know the reasoning behind her decision, either. It had been five years since the Battle of Endor and the beginning of the end of the Galactic Civil War, as the historians were calling it. Since then, the remnants of the Empire had either disappeared into the Unknown Regions or accepted plea deals with the New Republic. She was, for all intents and purposes, a new person, with a new life.
Most importantly, she hadn't seen Skywalker since her detour on Devaron. Other than the occasional HoloNet report on him, he'd been lying low, presumably traveling the galaxy for his Jedi lore. She did not wish she'd accepted his offer to join him, but sometimes, late at night when she couldn't sleep, she found herself wondering what if.
She asked that question about a lot of things. What if the Emperor had never come into power? What if he'd never found her and she'd grown up with her parents? What if she'd joined the Rebellion and learned to control her Force powers with Skywalker instead of her master?
It was futile to think about. All she could do was move forward with the life she'd created. Maybe part of her believed she could banish those questions by helping keep the galaxy in peace. She'd never been given a choice, but now she had one.
Besides, it wasn't like Skywalker would be anywhere near Chandrila. He'd left the politics to his sister and he hadn't been seen in public in years. She had nothing to worry about.
Oh, Jade, you idiot. You've damned yourself.
She tried not to think about that as they continued to orbit the planet.
The meeting with Rath Velus went better than Mara expected. He was harsh, but fair, and while they didn't come to an agreement Mara was confident they'd leave with one by the end of their stay.
They did not mention the Empire once. It wasn't that Mara was trying to avoid the topic, but it never came up in the negotiations. Even when Karrde excused himself to take a comm call, leaving Mara alone with Rath Velus, the two of them stuck to safe topics of conversation. Not their previous occupations, not their change in allegiances, not what they thought about the current state of the galaxy. Not how it felt to have their entire worlds change in a split second.
She never realized how much she wanted to talk to someone who'd been in her position. Probably the reason why she didn't let herself bring it up. Rath Velus was married now and had a respectable position; what would he have to say to a former Emperor's Hand turned smuggler?
He'd probably offer her a drink. She was the one who still thought negatively of herself.
Only because nobody else knew the full truth.
In addition to the meeting with Rath Velus, Karrde managed to snag invitations to the anniversary gala. Mara only agreed to go because it promised to be the party of the century, and oh, how she missed parties. She'd donned a floor-length black dress and let her hair down. Karrde almost didn't recognize her when she knocked on his hotel room door. She didn't think about Karrde that way, of course, but it was nice to know she still had that effect on people when she wanted to.
The official celebration would be tomorrow, but most of the dignitaries were already in attendance at the gala. She spotted Leia Organa, and Mon Mothma herself, and steered clear on the other side of the ballroom. Mingling was easy and achieved the goal of getting Karrde's name out there. With the Empire gone, there was no longer any need to remain neutral. Working with government officials to gain dirt on each other was the better business option nowadays. Fine with Mara. She was used to that sort of backstabbing. Too bad the New Republic was supposed to be better than that.
About half an hour into the evening, she spotted Organa again, but this time she wasn't accompanied by her husband. Instead she was hugging another man, shorter and slighter than Solo, and he didn't need to pull away for Mara to realize who it was.
Skywalker. Dammit. His sense in the Force was unmistakable.
Mara pressed herself against the closest wall, wishing she could blend in with the wallpaper. What the hell was he doing here? He'd distanced himself from the military after the Battle of Endor-even before, depending on who you asked-and had nothing to do with the formation of the New Republic government. As far as Mara knew, he hadn't stopped traveling around the galaxy in search of Jedi lore. Not that she kept tabs on him or anything.
He must have planned a family visit to coincide with the anniversary celebrations, as a favor to his sister. Just Mara's luck.
She grabbed a glass of wine from a passing server and turned her attention to the closest food table, until she realized it wasn't feasible to load a plate with a glass of wine in her other hand. That was one of those times Jedi skills would come in handy. Only if she wanted Skywalker to make a bullseye toward her.
She sighed as his name wormed its way into her mind. Unable to stop herself, she watched him from across the room. He didn't look uncomfortable talking to dignitaries; on the other hand, his posture was open and his expression pleasant. He wore a black suit, civilian cut, the boots the only indication of his Jedi heritage. He didn't even wear his lightsaber, not that he needed one to defend himself. Only through the Force could she sense his discomfort. It was an air of I don't belong here. Mara understood that feeling completely. She wondered if his sister could sense it, too.
So Skywalker was human, after all. And for once, she found herself compelled to talk to him. Maybe they weren't as different as she believed.
She finished her glass of wine and grabbed another one. She needed it if she was starting to have those thoughts.
Dinner was as pleasant as it could be; the food was of the highest quality and the wine continued to flow. Mara sat with Karrde at one of the tables in the back, filled with lower-level bureaucrats and dignitaries. Karrde was in his element discussing business, while she played her usual backup role by keeping mental notes of the various conversations. There'd be several people to follow up with in the coming days, plenty of potential clients to satisfy Karrde. But tonight, she didn't enjoy her job like she usually did. She was twitchy, constantly looking over her shoulder-and not only because she was anticipating cornering Skywalker. For the first time since joining Karrde's organization, she found herself wondering if she really belonged. Because she didn't like the work, or because he was becoming more respectable? Better not to answer that question.
At one point Karrde leaned over to her and lowered his voice. "You're unusually quiet."
"Before you ask, I'm fine." She plastered on a smile. She hadn't lost her touch at lying. "I'm doing what I'm supposed to during these sorts of events, remember?"
Karrde raised his eyebrows but didn't press the issue.
Once dessert was finished, Mara excused herself to the fresher. She didn't bother touching up her makeup in the mirror, and only smoothed a few stray hairs back from her forehead. Force forbid Skywalker think she was making an effort for him. She scrubbed her hands until they felt raw and silently berated herself for letting the so-called Force guide her decisions. But if she didn't seek out Skywalker now he'd surely find her by the end of the night, and she'd rather be the one to throw him off balance.
The problem was, the damn man was never alone. Everyone wanted to pay their respects to the vaunted Rebel hero. As soon as he'd extricated himself from his sister, the senators had surrounded him. Then the CEO of an archeological start-up Mara was familiar with from her dealings with Karrde. Even Karrde himself got in a few words while Mara was elsewhere. Skywalker had spoken to them all without batting an eye, but she could always sense his discomfort through the Force. He'd agreed to attend this gala for his sister's sake, to boost the morale of New Republic citizens, but he hadn't agreed to this sort of bombardment. No wonder he spent his days alone in the galaxy.
She stared at herself in the mirror again, wishing for another glass of wine, her earlier bravado gone. What could she possibly have to discuss with him? How could he possibly relate to her? It was a dumb, stupid idea, and she was better off forgetting she ever saw him.
She muttered at herself as she left the fresher, rounded the corner, and her legs smacked into something small and short.
"Ow," she muttered, cursing herself for not noticing a piece of furniture, then cursing whoever was stupid enough to place a trip hazard in the middle of a hallway. She blinked rapidly as she looked downward. No, she hadn't bumped into something. She'd nearly run over a child.
Leia Organa's child, to be precise.
She bit her tongue to suppress another, louder curse. "Hey, kid. Sorry about that. I didn't see you." She gave him a once over, relieved he wasn't bleeding or anything. "You okay?"
Ben Solo stared up at her with dark features. "Who are you?" His voice was high-pitched, his words not entirely clear yet, but they held a weight much heavier than most children. Not that she had much experience with them.
She frowned and glanced around him. No sign of his parents or caretakers. He was about four years old, not the age you'd let a kid go to the fresher alone, especially not during a busy gala. "Are you supposed to be here by yourself?"
He shrugged. "Are you?"
She almost snorted. This kid was something else. "Don't worry, I was invited." She cocked her head. "Where's your mom and dad?"
He shrugged again. "Around."
"Well, you should probably-"
She felt him before she heard him, calling his nephew's name before bursting around the corner. Skywalker breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Ben, that relief morphing to surprise when he realized who he was talking to. Skywalker shook his head and rushed to his nephew, bending down and placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. "What did we talk about sneaking off on your own, Ben?"
Ben, for his part, seemed completely nonplussed by the situation. "That I shouldn't."
"But you do."
Again with that damn shrug. He must've got that from Solo. Definitely a smuggler trait. "I was booooored, Uncle Luke. And then I had to pee and you were busy."
Skywalker glanced at his feet and frowned. Mara could sense him in the Force, embarrassed and concerned at the same time. "I'm sorry, Ben." He gestured his head toward the fresher. "Go ahead. I'll be waiting right here."
Ben suddenly seemed to remember he'd ventured out of the ballroom for a reason. He pressed his legs together and hopped around. "Thanks, Uncle Luke!" The lecture forgotten, he rushed into the fresher, whispering to himself, "Gotta hurry gotta hurry gotta hurry."
Mara almost laughed, would have laughed if Skywalker didn't seem so contrite about losing track of his nephew. He leaned against the wall, rubbing his neck, redness spreading across his cheeks. "Sorry about that. No matter how many times I tell him not to, he's very good at getting away from me."
Now it was Mara's turn to shrug. Sure, letting Ben slip away during a gala wasn't the best parental move, but everyone was here by invitation only, no weapons allowed, and with the Force it must be easy to track down the kid. "That's children for you. What are you doing watching him, anyway? I thought you were busy chatting everyone up."
Skywalker rolled his eyes. "I was. I told Han I'd take Ben off his hands for a few minutes so he could catch up with Lando."
Mara knew enough about Calrissian from her time with Karrde. "You mean so they could play an impromptu game of sabacc."
Skywalker grinned. "I didn't bother asking, but you're probably right. Plus, it got me away from all the hangers-on." He glanced at his feet, his sense in the Force shifting from guilt to curiosity. And was that happiness to see her? Nah, couldn't be. Probably just glad she wasn't pointing a weapon at him this time. Would she, if her holdout blaster wasn't back in the weapons check?
"I didn't expect to see you here," he said after a long moment.
"Neither did I," she couldn't stop herself from responding. "Karrde finagled an invitation, thought it would be good for business. Suckered me into being his plus one."
"Ah." Skywalker bit his lip. "Are you his plus one?"
She jerked her head back. That wasn't something she ever wanted to think about. Karrde was her mentor, her friend. Her first friend, in all honesty. It had taken a long time to think of him that way. Plus, it wasn't any of Skywalker's business. Still, she waved her hand. "Most definitely not. I'm his second-in-command now."
Skywalker smiled. "Congratulations. He's a great businessperson. You must have really impressed him. How long have you been with the organization?"
She couldn't help herself. She smiled back. "Over two years. And thanks." That meant it had been almost two years since she'd last seen Skywalker. Guess he must not be keeping tabs on her anymore. Her smile faltered and she peeked around him at the fresher door. Little Ben was certainly taking his time in there. Visions of toilet paper covering the floor or the boy spraying himself with the faucet burst into her head. "Do you, uh, need to check up on him?"
It was not an excuse to preemptively end the conversation.
Skywalker cringed. "Probably. He's always getting himself into trouble."
Before he could move toward the fresher, Ben burst out of the door. Water dripped off his hands and his dress pants were no longer straight, but otherwise he looked in one piece. "I'm done, Uncle Luke!"
Skywalker suppressed a smile as he crossed to Ben and wiped the boy's hands with the bottom of his jacket. Mara suppressed her own smile at the shockingly human gesture. "Good job, Ben. We better get back to the party before your parents start worrying."
Ben groaned. "The party is so boring. Can't I go home?"
Mara leaned against the wall and smirked. A server wandered by from the kitchens and she snatched a glass of wine from the tray. "He has a point, Skywalker."
Skywalker glanced at his chrono. "It is late. But if we go home, Ben, it's straight to bed."
"But I wanna play with my spaceships," Ben whined.
Mara took a sip of her wine to keep from laughing. Skywalker had faced down Palpatine but was taking lip from a four year old.
The reminder of Palpatine-of what this night was celebrating-made her smile disappear. The wine suddenly tasted sour but she wanted to drain the glass dry.
Skywalker sighed. "Ten minutes. Then bed."
Ben pumped his fist. "Thanks, Uncle Luke!"
Skywalker patted his back. "Don't mention it." He glanced over his nephew's head at Mara and frowned. Of course, he could sense her sudden shift of mood. "You okay?"
Damn, she was sick of people asking her that. Her fault for being so obvious. She ran a hand over her hair and stifled a yawn. "Just agreeing with the kid that it's getting time to leave."
Skywalker nodded, not convinced, but didn't press her in front of his nephew. At least the kid was good for something. "Well, it was nice seeing you again, Mara. Thanks for keeping an eye on him."
"More like I ran into him." She didn't like the idea of being responsible for another human being. It had taken years to feel responsible for herself again. "I'm just glad he's not permanently injured."
"Nah, it'll take more than that to hurt this little guy." Skywalker ruffled his nephew's hair, another shockingly human gesture, and grinned brilliantly at his future student.
Mara glanced at her feet and felt her cheeks grow hot. She felt like an interloper. She shouldn't be here, witnessing this family moment.
She shouldn't be in Chandrila at all.
"That's good to hear," she whispered.
Skywalker cocked his head at her. "Mara?"
She took a deep breath and almost, almost, blurted out why she felt so uncomfortable there. Must have been the wine running through her system. She should know better than to let it get to her. To let Skywalker get to her.
Then she noticed Ben glancing back and forth between them and clamped her mouth shut. Her shoulders straightened, and she reminded herself she had been the Emperor's Hand. Personal feelings were inconsequential.
Especially with Skywalker.
"I should go, Skywalker. Enjoy playing with spaceships." She gave a little wave to Ben, feeling like an idiot. Like a four-year-old would care if she said good-bye or not. But for some stupid reason she didn't want to model bad manners for the kid.
Before she could leave, another troublesome presence in the Force bounded its way into the corridor. "Hey, Ben!"
Han Solo stopped short when he saw Skywalker standing there. "Oh, there you guys are." He pointed at Ben. "What did I tell you about sneaking off?"
"Not to get caught?" Ben said.
Solo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Get over here, kid."
"Sorry about that, Han," Skywalker said. "I got cornered again and he slipped away."
Solo waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. I know how he is." He turned to Mara and a damned, cocky grin spread across his face. "Well, hello. What do we have here?"
Mara crossed her arms over her chest, mimicking Solo. "I'm Mara Jade," she said, before Skywalker could answer. "Second-in-command to Talon Karrde."
Solo's grin grew bigger. "A Skywalker, getting chummy with a smuggler? That sounds familiar."
Oh, he was lucky his kid was standing there or she'd be tempted to slug him in the face.
Her restraint was not an effect of Luke Skywalker standing there. Absolutely not.
"Karrde's an information broker now," she said. "You're getting out of touch in your old age."
Solo threw back his head and laughed. "Good one, Jade. So how do you know the kid?"
The kid. So odd to hear someone refer to Skywalker like that. Judging by the way Skywalker was blushing again, Solo was good for deflating his ego.
Although something told her Skywalker never had an ego problem.
She eyed Skywalker. He shrugged, leaving the story up to her. Smart man. "We've bumped into each other a few times in his travels around the galaxy," she said.
"Is that so?" Solo's grin turned lascivious. "In that case, we should leave you two alone. Come on, kid." He grabbed Ben's arm and pulled him away, throwing Skywalker a wink before disappearing back into the ballroom.
Mara wanted to sink into the floor.
"Sorry about that." Skywalker's cheeks were as red as Mara's hair. "Han is... Han."
"I know the type," Mara drawled. She worked around plenty of them. "Anyway. You were supposed to go play starships." She couldn't resist teasing him, and was glad when some of his blush went away.
"Yeah." Skywalker rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess now isn't the time to ask if you've changed your mind."
She cocked her head. He'd actually remembered asking her about searching the galaxy with him? Certainly he had better things to do. "I'm preoccupied. Karrde's second-in-command, remember?"
"Can I hire you? I'm planning to investigate some places I don't necessarily want to venture alone. You seem like a good person to have at your back."
Yeah, someone who happened to be Force sensitive. She wanted to roll her eyes. Skywalker was many things, but subtle wasn't one of them. "I'd love to help," she lied. "But you can't afford my fees."
Skywalker spread his arms. "Alas. If you ever change your mind, you can find me on Ossus. Figured now was the time to start building a training temple." He glanced over his shoulder. "Anyway. Let me go take Ben off Han's hands for the rest of the evening." He hesitated, then moved closer to her. "It was nice to see you again, Mara. You... " He trailed off and swallowed hard. "You look very nice."
Oh hell, she would not allow herself to blush in front of Skywalker. He was merely stating a fact. Her dress was insanely expensive, her hair was actually styled, and she wore heavy makeup. A stark contrast to the last two times he saw her, wearing a utilitarian jumpsuit and hair in a messy braid.
She cleared her throat. "So do you." Another fact. His suit was much more flattering than bland Jedi attire.
Skywalker glanced at his feet. "Thanks." He looked up and held out his hand. "Good bye."
She took his hand, resisting the urge to flinch at the spark in the Force when they touched. "Bye, Skywalker."
He held her hand for five seconds longer than was necessary. Then he dropped his arm, nodded once, and hurried away.
She watched him go, an odd sense of melancholy settling over her when she realized she hadn't been lying before.
She would like to travel with Skywalker, if only to see what he'd do next.
She took a deep breath, downed the rest of her wine, and headed back to Karrde.
