Chapter 4

Clark rolled his eyes. "Now I'm talking to ghosts too." Then, he heard his cell phone's ringing. "Who?" He took the phone out. "Mom?" He answered it. "Hello?"

"Sweetheart, it's good to hear your voice! Your father and I are so worried!" Martha breathed a sigh of relief. She pointed toward the receiver for Jonathan's benefit. "Where are you?"

"Sorry, Mom. I didn't sleep well last night. I did the chores and left coffee on for you guys. Then, I headed for the cemetery. I…" Clark's voice trailed off. His eyes remained fixed on the Langs' grave and then Sarah's in turn. Obligation and Guilt still stung at him. Louise's words made headway about Obligation's further requirements for him as well.

Martha wiped a few stray tears from her eyes. She heard Guilt weighing down his tone. "That's fine. Just come home when you're ready. All right? I'll let you have your space. Thank you."

"Sure. Thanks, Mom. Tell Dad sorry." Clark hung up on that note. "They're really going to love talking with Dr. Swann."

AND ME AS WELL, KAL-EL! REMEMBER THAT! With that, Jor-El went silent.

Clark rolled his eyes. "How could we forget that?" He threw his hands up in the air. "Got to remember why I came in the first place." He stooped down in front of the Langs' stone. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Lang. I'm sure you remember me. I'm Clark Kent. I really love Lana. I'm sorry I got her involved in everything. I'll do my best for her. That's a promise." He squeezed back his own tears. "Now that she and I are both…what we are…I can step up for her. I can do better now that we know about each other. Thanks for understanding. Sorry to intrude on your space. Have a good day." He backed up a step. Reverence kept his eyes firmly on the stone for a few more heartbeats. Then, he walked to Sarah's small stone in the very back.

Beige child-sized stone loomed against the iron fence. Angels flanked "KENT" sign to the left and right. Sol's first beams brushed across its smooth finish. Nary a shoot of grass had stuck through recently-settled earth in front of it. Previous day's floral offering sat by the fading ones from earlier.

Clark shuddered. Tears streaked his cheeks. Guilt's tidal wave swamped his thinking. He fell to his knees. Mistakes…his mistakes…had hurt people. Carelessness enabled Nixon and Phelan to learn about him. Ryan's escape from Sommerholt brought Lex, Judge Ross and Garner into the picture. Sheriffs Ethan and Adams dealt with him over ill-timed efforts. Still, Attention merited inconvenience…perhaps an injury….

Lana nearly died because of Jor-El….

Sarah lay there because of Martha's miscarriage…a miscarriage his efforts caused….

Jonathan's angry words at the hospital echoed back to him. Lana's lecture in the hotel room bashed at his mind. Swann's admonitions only added fuel to that particular fire.

"I have to do better." Broken words croaked between sobs. He grabbed a fistful of dirt. "I can't let this happen again." He raised his head. His eyes fixed on the stone. "Sarah, wish you were here. We all miss you. I know you're special." Shudders wracked his shoulders and back.

"Clark?" A hand rested on his right shoulder.

Clark jumped. The touch jarred him from Reverie's vice. He turned toward the voice's source. "Lex?"

Lex raised an eyebrow. Questions bubbled up in his mind over Clark's vow. "Yeah." He raised a floral bouquet in his hand. "I wanted to pay my respects." Weariness and a haggard appearance weighed on his eyes. "Clark, I can't say how sorry I am about your sister…Sarah?"

"That's her name. Wish I could've met her. You know?" Clark sucked in a deep breath. He got to his feet. "Thanks for bringing the flowers. I know my folks and Sarah will appreciate it." He looked his friend over. "Lex, why aren't you on your honeymoon? I thought you'd be on some island basking in the rays and sipping cocktails with Dr. Bryce."

Lex nodded. "Helen and I should be there, Clark. Everything seemed so great…you know? Granted, the part about you ducking our vows wasn't. Still, we got married. We got on the plane." A shrug deflected Blame's pressure at that point. While he wanted to press further, he knew Clark would shut the truth off yet again…

…it seemed to be the Kent Way after all….

"So, what happened?" Clark listened. Through Lex's words, he could see Lana and himself in the Loft after the Rehearsal Dinner. He treasured the picnic and horseback ride. Then, he heard Jor-El's threat. He put the Kryptonite Key in the Ship. Then, Red Kryptonite Stone released Kal yet again.

Lex frowned. A heavy sigh escaped his lips. "Sabotage, Clark. My father promised that our plane was checked and double checked. I should know better." He rolled his eyes. "Mechanical failures over the Indian Ocean. I gave the last chute to Helen. She jumped out. I braced for impact. Somehow, I survived. I got myself onto one of the wings. I was lucky." A smile broke through his discontent. "Whoever sabotaged the plane left the GPS going. I bobbed around on the water for a day. Then, an old family friend rescued me." Subtle cough punctuated the account. "A princess, I guess, can save a guy in distress too once in a while."

"And you walking around without a hospital? Lex! Maybe you should get checked out?" Clark looked his friend over. X-Ray Vision confirmed that bones and muscles remained sound. "Sorry." He stepped back and put his hands up. "I know your Dad's got doctors."

"Yes, Clark, he does." Lex rubbed his shoulder. "My friends, however, are better than any medicine. But, for the record, that Princess and her father made sure I was checked over. I've had an army of doctors going over me. Curiously, my Dad couldn't be reached the entire time." A pronounced wince contorted his face. "Shoulder's acting up. Sorry. One of those childhood injuries I never got over. Your Mom and Dad would remember."

"Wow. Lex, hey. I know you don't want to hear this. This is been a bad week all around." Clark pointed to Sarah's stone. "She's there for the same reason I wasn't at the service. Mom got caught in the explosion. I was really out of it after that. Lana really stepped up."

"Yeah that's what Chloe told me. Miranda and she'd like more details too from Lana and you at some point." Lex pondered Sarah's stone. Julian's face floated in his mind's eye. Mourning ached at his soul. "I lost a brother. I get what you're going through, Clark. There's a mutual friend to Lana's, my and your family we might talk with at some point. Maybe we can get a coffee at the Talon? Then, I'll bring you back to the farm. You shouldn't be alone right now."

Clark wanted to decline. He knew Jonathan had work waiting at home. Still, Lex survived his own private Hell. Instinct pointed him toward Lionel. Despite the issues at home, he knew Lana needed his support at the Talon. "Thanks, Lex. I know it didn't look like it during your wedding but I want to be there for you too. Just a minute." He turned back toward Sarah. "I'll be back soon. Take care. Love you. I just wanted you to know that."

"I'm sure she knows that, Clark. Any kid would want you as their big brother. I'm sure Ryan's got his eye on her right now. Kyla's got to be right there with her too. My Mom wouldn't leave Sarah alone either. So, she's not alone." Lex smiled for Clark's sake. "Need a minute?"

"I think Sarah and I are good. Thanks though." Clark waved to Sarah one more time. Regret and Guilt nagged at him. Still, he had to move forward. He turned and followed Lex toward the waiting Porsche.

Sometimes, Pain needed to be shared. Perspective embellishes certain points….