Jyn guided Cassian to her quarters in silence and urged him inside, closing the door behind them. She took some seconds to gather her thoughts before turning around to face him, who was patiently waiting for her next reaction.
He always respected her space, never tried to coerce her into anything, but he also challenged her with his mischievous sense of humor. He'd become a solid, soothing and stimulating presence in her life, and during the endless hours waiting for his return from the already known as the Battle of Scarif, she'd realized that she loved him with all her heart. That she needed him as much as the air she breathed. And she'd sensed that he loved her as much in return. She wasn't an expert in love, but she was sure. All his demeanor, his eyes, his body language, conveyed that. To hell with caution and fear. They didn't know if the next day, or the next week, or the next month, they'd still be alive. She didn't want to regret not having experienced how it felt to be in his arms, in his body, in his soul.
Jyn stepped forward and took the leap. "I love you, Cassian."
His eyes widened in wonder and he stretched a tentative hand toward her cheek, caressing it with infinite tenderness. "I love you too, Jyn." He hesitated. "Is this truly what you want? You know who I am. You know that I've done terrible things." He paused, drawing her toward him and resting his forehead on hers. "I'm not sure how to be the man you deserve. But I'm willing to try, if you'll have me."
She nodded with her eyes closed. "This is what I want. I want you. We'll figure it all out together."
Cassian grabbed both her cheeks with his hands and made her look into his eyes. "We will."
And she kissed him. Kissed him with all her pent-up longing. He responded eagerly, as if he was dying of thirst and she was his water. She felt the same way. He was her water, her breath, the beats of her heart. She savored his lips, his tongue, relishing his groans, his hands in her hair. She was moaning too into his mouth and sinking her fingers into his dark and thick strands.
Jyn ended the kiss reluctantly and stepped back to start unbuttoning his flying suit, never tearing her eyes from his. Cassian let her open the garment and push it down his arms and torso. He was only wearing his underwear under the suit, because all flying suits were designed with a thermal fabric which kept the pilots' body heat.
He had a beautifully tanned and sculpted torso, abdomen and arms, with lean muscles and sparse hair on his chest and a fine trail which ran down from his navel. A constellation of scars dotted his skin, some of them as a consequence of nasty wounds. She longed for kissing each of them, for erasing all the violence that had caused them. The same violence that had marked her own body.
They couldn't erase the violence in their pasts, but now they had the chance to counterbalance it with love.
Cassian knelt to take off his boots and socks and stepped out of the legs of the suit. He was naked except for his boxers, and Jyn overtly admired his figure. The bulge in his lower regions made her blush, and the direction of her gaze didn't escape him, of course. His smirk had that touch of smugness with which he usually teased her.
Jyn let her hair loose from her usual bun and grabbed his hands to guide them to her vest and shirt. He took the hint and first slid the vest down her arms, allowing it to drop to the floor, and he afterwards unbuttoned the shirt, grazing her sensitive breasts in the process and making her breath hitch. Cassian smiled in mischief, with his pupils blown in desire. He cast aside the shirt and left her bra in plain sight. Her nipples were protruding under the fabric, hungry for his touch. She decided to take off her kiber necklace too, so it didn't get in the way. He wacthed as she let it drop above the clothes already spread on the floor. "It was my mother's last gift for me," she explained simply, and he nodded silently.
"You're beautiful, Jyn. You've always been to me, from the first day I met you." he praised, caressing her arms up and down and raising goosebumps on her skin.
"You can't be serious. I wasn't at my best precisely," she teased, sliding her hands up his chest, getting herself acquainted with the soft and firm texture of his flesh, with the map of his moles and scars.
"It was your way of facing those thugs. I fell for you from minute one. Your fierceness and defiance impressed me, and I'm not easily impressed after everything I've seen," he assured fervently. "I've never met a woman as beautiful as you." He had covered her wandering hands with his, following her caresses over his chest.
"That's difficult to believe," she replied, flirtatiously skeptical.
He squeezed her hands. "You're free to believe it or not, but it's the truth. I've met a few females who might be considered stunning from an esthetic point of view, but none of them ever aroused in me this burning desire I feel for you."
Jyn rubbed his nipples with her palms and he panted. "Then what are you waiting for to show it to me?," she challenged.
"Be careful what you wish for." He suddenly grabbed the backs of her thighs and lifted her. She yelped in surprise and giggled, wrapping her arms and legs around him, and then she lowered her face toward his and kissed him again. "Force, how I want you, Jyn," he whispered against her lips, carrying her to the bed.
"Yeah. I can feel you down there," she teased, smiling. Indeed, she felt his hardness pressing against her crotch.
He dropped her playfully onto the mattress and hovered over her. She still had her bra on as well as all her clothes from the waist down, and she'd never been so impatient to be naked in front of a man before. "And now I want to feel all of you, Cassian. Let's get rid of these annoying pieces of fabric."
"As you wish," he complied, unhooking her bra and sliding the straps down her arms. "Oh, Jyn. I love these," he admitted, staring at her breasts with ardent eyes and cupping them. She moaned and arched her back. "Your lovely tits are perfect for my hands. And your nipples are made for my mouth." He lowered his head toward her chest and teased one rosy nub with his tongue. "Yes, Cassian!," she exclaimed, already delirious by the wet heat circling one of her most sensitive areas. She grasped his scalp, pushing him harder against her flesh. He chuckled at her eagerness and she felt the vibrations of his voice all through her. He went on relentlessly, turning his attention to her other breast, but never neglecting the one his mouth couldn't reach. His expert hands didn't remain idle. Jyn had never felt such an overlwhelming mix of sensations. Her first encounters with Hadder had been sweet but rushed and inexperienced and she hadn't felt the fire she'd heard other people mention when talking about sex. She'd believed that with time, they'd achieve that mind-blowing kind of intercourse, but there was no more time left for them, because Hadder and his mother died. And after losing him, her sporadic sexual encounters with anonymous partners hadn't involved exploration or experimentation, there hadn't been cuddling or tenderness, just the chase of physical release. Jyn only sought to get to the point, to reach fleeting, nondescript orgasms using those males' bodies, as they used hers for their own momentary pleasure. It was just a meeting of flesh for mutual benefit, but there was no deeper connection. She didn't give away anything of herself, and didn't want to know anything about those casual partners.
But now, she wished to give herself fully to Cassian, with no reservations. She knew that he would give her everything she asked for and more, because he knew how to read her much better than any other male she'd met, and besides, he was the first man she'd truly and enthusiastically let in. He had the patience and the observation skills she hadn't known she needed in a male to achieve a spectacularly rich fulfilment in sex, but the most important thing was that Cassian loved her as a full-grown man who learned quickly and devotedly how to satisfy his woman.
After worshipping her breasts with his mouth and hands, he kissed his way over her stomach until he reached her damned pants. He knelt beside her and pushed down all her remaining clothes, along with her boots. Now she was lying naked on the bed and he was drinking her in. "Force, Jyn. You're like a banquet one wants to devour whole but can't decide where to start with," he said breathlessly, and Jyn burst in excited laughter at his fervent and funny statement.
"Well, for starters, if you want to savor this feast, you should take off your boxers first. Fair is fair and I want to fully see the quality of the banquet I'm going to enjoy myself," she teased coquettishly. She'd never been so bold or committed with someone as to joke and laugh in bed before, or speak with innuendo.
He chuckled and complied, pushing down the piece which hid his most intimate parts. Now it was her turn to drink him in. She liked very much what she saw. Cassian physically wasn't the most impressive man she'd met, but to her he was the handsomest, and he was hers, and she was his. He aroused her like no one ever had and that was the important thing.
Jyn spread her legs, exhibiting all of herself with no trace of shyness, and he took the hint. He knelt on the floor and drew her toward him by her hips, until his face was between her thighs. She swallowed loudly in anticipation, with her heart beating wildly. Hadder had been the only one she'd allowed to perform oral on her, a couple of times, but he'd been too nervous and clumsy and she'd made him stop tactfully in order not to hurt his pride, because she knew that she'd never finish that way. He was better with his fingers, so she encouraged him to use them instead. That frustrated him, but she tried to make him understand that she didn't mind much, and that he'd learn eventually and there was no rush. To assuage him, she'd adduced that women's bodies were more complicated to play, like musical instruments one had to practice with until they sounded their best.
But they could never find out.
Now she was discovering that Cassian was an exceptional player. He descended on her, and from the first moment, Jyn knew that before the night ended, it would be a miracle if her throat wasn't raw hoarse from her cries of delight. His tongue on her intimate flesh was like a revelation, like a furious wave of all-encompassing sensations. There was no milimeter of skin neglected by his tongue and lips, and he added his fingers, caressing, rubbing, licking and sucking all the right places, inside and out of her, humming his own contentment, sending vibrations and shivers all through her oversensitive flesh, meeting her eyes with his wild dark ones and locking their gazes as if they were glued, and the sight of him buried between her legs, making her feel things down there she'd never believed possible, and without tearing his eyes from hers for an instant, was the most erotic thing of her life. Jyn exploded in a powerful orgasm, letting herself go completely, crying out with no restraints and stroking his head frantically. He chuckled softly against her and went on stimulating her tirelessly until the high tide of her blinding pleasure receded, leaving her happily satiated and languid. She laughed in satisfaction while he lied down next to her with a smug expression and kissed her, making her taste and smell herself on his lips and tongue. It was strangely arousing. She'd tasted herself before when masturbating, but it couldn't be compared to savoring it on her man.
"Wow. If you've always been like this with women, then you must have a trail of them pining for you out there. It's impossible to experience this and not become addicted to it," she complimented with a soft smile, stroking his cheek.
He returned the smile. "Well, I'm not interested in finding out. It's only one woman now I'm interested in making addicted to my attentions."
Her sated languor was turning quickly into playfulness and mischief. "I need to sample the goods a bit more to reach a conclusion." And then she sat up and slid her hand down to his hard and neglected cock. He started and gasped in surprise. "I'd like to begin with this friend here, to see if I can make him addicted to my attentions," she said sensually, grasping his length.
His breath sped up. "I can sense that he already is. He's ready for anything you fancy to do with him."
Jyn began to stroke up and down slowly, looking into Cassian's eyes. "Oh, is he?" She bent down and licked the salty tip.
He panted. "Yeah, he definitely is."
She giggled and swallowed his length as far as she could without gagging. She secretly believed she was good at that. At least, the couple of times she had performed it on Hadder, when she'd persuaded him to let her, she'd made him come very easily. Now with Cassian, she wanted to challenge him, test his stamina, see how much he could last, how much she could prolong his pleasure. He was a man used to exterting his self-control to the limit, and she suspected that a few of his undercover missions had implied seducing Imperials. It was hard to imagine how much all that sordidness must have demanded of his endurance. She was determined to help him erase or at least diminish the feel and taste of those women from his skin and memory, and to offer him the gift of sheer pleasure for the sake of love. She longed for the both of them to experience sex as an expression of love, of mutual devotion, of selflessness, of shared happiness, and not simply as a physical transaction or a means to achieve opportunist goals.
Jyn slid her mouth around him and used her hands to stimulate what her mouth couldn't reach. She let go of the shaft for some moments to lick lower to his balls, and went on working his shaft with her hand. If Cassian's moans and throbbing flesh were any indication, then he was enjoying her actions immensely. His fingers were tangled in her hair, keeping her strands from getting in the way, and he was also caressing her face with eager fingers, her cheeks and lips full of him, feeling all her movements like a shipwreck survivor holding onto a piece of floating debris on the sea.
"Hold on," she commanded in enraptured concentration. "Can you hold on for me, Cassian? I want to savor you to the limit, but I don't want you to come yet. I'm saving it for later. You think you can?," she challenged without stopping her caresses.
He nodded, with his jaw tightened and sweat coating his temples. It was all so erotic. "I'll try my best. But no guarantees. You're too tempting," he almost hissed between gritted teeth.
She chuckled against his hot, spicy, pulsating flesh. Nothing had been so intoxicating to her. She then engulfed his length once more with her mouth and continued to grope his lower parts with her hands. She was very pleased to sense that he was exerting his stamina to the limit, as she'd ordered, and that he was wildly mad with lust, like she wanted him to be.
Then she took pity on him and let go of his cock with a lewd popping sound. He groaned in protest and in relief at the same time, and she laughed in mischief.
He surprised her by making her lie on her back and placing himself above her, with his forearms on both sides of her head and his pelvis between her thighs. That bout of possessiveness in him, the switching of roles to take over, aroused her even more. She liked him to be the untamed man he'd always been, to show that he was her equal, that he gave as good as he took.
But he was also a man who would never force a woman to do anything she wasn't willing or ready to do, so his expression softened and he caressed her cheek once more. "Are you okay with this? You want us to go on?"
She mimicked his tender gesture, placing her palm on his bearded jaw. She liked a lot the prickling sensation of his facial hair. "Yeah. I want fo feel all of you. All the way until the end."
Cassian kissed her. "All the way," he whispered against her lips. And then he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed carefully, filling her little by little, allowing her to feel everything and her insides to stretch to accomodate his breadth. She was so wet and ready for him that he could slid inside easily and with no trace of discomfort on her part. Penetration had always been a bit painful for her with other men whenever they first entered her. Her insides took a while to get used to the invasive feeling. But with Cassian, her body seemed to sing, welcoming their coupling with joy.
When he was completely into her, they both sighed at the same time, as if they felt complete. She certainly did. She was so full of him, and happy to be, that she almost wanted to cry. She hadn't believed something like that could exist.
Cassian, always attentive and observant, read her reaction and kissed her once more deeply. "I love you, Jyn." And he started to move in and out of her, slowly at first.
"I love you too, Cassian." He didn't tear his eyes from her face for one second, readjusting his position and angle, thrusting steadily until she began to moan rhythmically and loudly, and him at unison with her, breathing each other's breaths, kissing messily, she wrapping her legs tigther around his waist and scratching his back and buttocks slightly with her nails, he reaching for her breasts and clit with one hand to add more sensations to her overstimulated flesh. The tingling and throbbing in her lower regions were warning her of her impending orgasm, and Cassian noticed it, of course he did, she thought in an outburst of emotion. "Come for me Jyn. Give me your pleasure. Will you be good for me?," he pleaded against her ear with his husky voice.
That undid her. "Yes! Cassian! Don't stop!," she cried out, yielding completely, unraveling under him, with her body convulsing and the explosive pleasure spreading to the tips of her toes, to the core of her very soul.
"Oh, Jyn," he groaned, and she felt his length throbbing into her and flooding her with his hot essence. He went on thrusting and emptying himself, moaning on her neck, until he was utterly spent. His body collapsed onto hers, but he prevented his weight from crushing her by resting a forearm on the mattress, while he caressed her wet skin adoringly with his other palm.
They were both sweaty and panting, and smiling at each other, and Cassian had never looked more beautiful to her, with his messy hair and his flushed and heated skin.
"You're my home, Jyn. I don't care where we'll go from now on, because anywhere you are, it will be my home. If you'll have me," he said, letting her see all his vulnerability, all of his heart.
"Of course I'll have you. You're my home too. You're stuck with me." They kissed once more, beaming happily, and made room for each other on the bed, getting ready to get to a more than earned sleep. He spooned her from behind and encircled her waist with an arm, and she drifted off, feeling as safe and loved as the last time her parents had lulled her to sleep that last night on Lah'mu, before her childhood had been cruelly snatched from her.
