Bobby couldn't believe it.
"You mean to tell me the entire time the ghost girl was actually Raven?"
"She's been playing hunters for idiots," said Dean.
Said psychic girl was out shopping for food with Sam. One look at Bobby's kitchen was all she needed before she took it over. Considering she cooked better than he did, he wasn't complaining that much.
Bobby sat down hard in disbelief. All that time, all the headaches he got trying to run into her on that damn stretch of road...and she had been in front of him the entire time.
"So how long did it take before you found out the mansion wasn't really there?" asked Dean. He had seen Bobby's expression, because Raven had a picture of that too.
"I found an old newspaper clipping two days before I left. She seemed to find the reaction I had to the fact I had been sleeping in a ghost house hilarious," he grumbled.
Dean grinned at him.
"I wonder how the other hunters would react if they knew the ghost girl was just a psychic pranking them the entire time?"
"John would have thrown one hell of a fit. Do you have any idea how much bitching I had to listen to when he finally gave up?" said Bobby.
"Still...I wonder why she always looks so lonely when she does that astral thing," said Dean.
"Don't know. All I know is that she came from England and that she had to leave in a hurry. She rarely even ventured out of that place while I was there, except to get food," said Bobby.
"So where exactly did you find that lantern of yours?" asked Sam.
"At my old school. Only thing was, psychics weren't exactly allowed to live their own life because they could do things most of the other students couldn't. Should have seen their reaction when they found out I could speak to snakes," said Raven.
Sam blinked.
"You can talk to snakes? You mean like in that book series Harry Potter?"
It was Raven's turn to blink.
"What's Harry Potter?" she asked slowly.
"You've never heard of it? We are so hitting a bookstore before we head back," said Sam grinning.
One look at the series and Raven was twitching, big time.
"Where exactly does this J.K. Rowling live?" she asked.
"Somewhere in England I think. Or at least Europe," Sam said. He honestly had no idea, nor did he particularly care.
"Damn. I hate England," said Raven. Then she spotted something on another shelf. And she smirked.
She would have fun seeing their expression when they found out about the only modern series she ever read.
"What's this?" asked Dean, picking up one of the bags.
"Book run. Raven only has old books and nothing to read for fun," said Sam. Dean rummaged through the bag until he got past the hard backs.
"Supernatural? Didn't take you for this kind of reader Sammy. I mean, don't we get enough of this crap on hunts?"
Sam blinked.
"I didn't pick that one out. Must be one of Raven's," said Sam.
Dean snorted, and read the back. His initial curiosity went straight to shock when he read the description.
"Sam and Dean encounter a strange creature on a college campus that has them at each others throats. All while the death toll keeps piling up in strange and bizarre ways. What. The. Hell."
The title of the book was 'Tall Tales'.
"Oh, so you found one of the new Supernatural books? I haven't had a chance to catch up to the series in a while."
"This is a series?" said Dean twitching. A few pages in and he already recognized it for what it was.
"Yeah, and it has a bit of a cult following," said Raven with a straight face. You could tell she knew what it was too and was trying very, very hard not to laugh.
"What is it?" asked Bobby. Dean handed the book over. After the first chapter they weren't the only ones twitching. He was in this particular volume.
"Look at the bright side boys, at least they don't use your last names!" laughed Raven. She couldn't help it.
"Can you help us find the author?" asked Dean irritated beyond belief. Their life story was not something to be sold to the public for a profit!
"Only if you help me find the idiot who wrote this Harry Potter series," said Raven flatly.
"Deal," said Dean.
"So, was that tripe about you selling your soul for Sam true?"
"I have three months left," said Dean.
Raven sighed.
"Sit down and get me some paper and ink. I can go on an astral walk and look at the contract through the spirit realm. Maybe I can find a way out of it without killing Sam."
"What?" came the trio of responses.
Raven stared at the hunters.
"You have got to be joking. None of you thought to ask a psychic or someone who talks to spirits about Dean's contract? Everyone knows that demons have a bad habit of writing them on the soul of the poor bastard that makes the deal so the hellhounds know who to rip apart when it comes due! I've heard of three cases where the contract was renegotiated or broken because they went to a witch doctor and reworked the terms with the demon!"
Dean looked very much like he wanted to hit his head against the wall.
"So you might be able to break the contract without us losing Sam?"
"Like I said, I would need to do a spirit walk and make contact with his soul. My physical hand would be able to write it out at least, but chances are they wrote it in Latin," said Raven.
"Well get to it!" said Bobby.
"Not so damn fast. I've never done a spirit walk without triple-securing my body first. Do you have any idea how many psychics forget to insure their body is safe and come back to find it either possessed or worse, in a bloody hospital because some idiot came in? Now, do you have a room that is spirit-proof?" asked Raven.
"Basement. I have a panic room you can use with a desk and lighting. How will you write out the contract though?"
"Living spirits can bypass most salt and iron protections, provided they have the energy for it. Though I would rather have Dean inside the room with me so I don't have to waste time breaking the protections. I'll also have to purify the area to insure no evil entities are in it first," said Raven.
"You have a panic room in the basement?" said Dean in disbelief.
"I was bored and had a weekend off. Do you have any idea how much scrap metal is out in the damn yard?" said Bobby.
"What will Dean have to do?"
"Nothing electronic, unless he wants to deal with EVP in his music. So, I'd recommend bringing a book or something," said Raven.
"Could I come down and keep him occupied instead?" asked Sam.
Raven gave him an odd look.
"Please for the love of all that's holy tell me the rumors that have been going around on the Supernatural fan sites are just that," she said.
"I know I'm going to regret this, but what rumors?" asked Dean carefully.
Raven pulled up the Supernatural fan forum. Two seconds of that and the brothers were looking very green around the gills.
"Oh dear god. Why? Who comes up with something like that!" said Dean, looking about ready to hurl.
"It's called Wincest, and frankly I hate reading those stories. I find guy-on-guy amusing, but incest is just wrong," said Raven.
"I think I'm going to be sick," said Sam.
"Be glad they don't have actual pictures of you. There's actually fan art that looks nothing like you except in passing," she informed them.
"For the love of god turn it off and quit telling us this stuff!" said Dean.
Bobby, however, almost looked tempted to laugh. If he had known about this he would have had unlimited blackmail material on both boys years ago. He clicked on a link the fan art and the brothers had to leave the room. One of them looked disturbingly like Sam and another almost looked like Dean!
Raven purified the panic room, cleansing it of any evil energies. Dean came in with some books, and Raven was highly amused to see a few pages of Playboy sticking out. Clearly the revelation of the Wincest fan fiction site (more than a few of them so graphic and descriptive that Dean nearly shot his computer out of sheer horror) had him rethinking his closeness with his brother.
She made sure to place them in the middle of a massive salt circle as extra protection...and habit. She left her dominate hand on the paper with a pen in it, and then centered herself.
Three breaths. That was how long it took for her to leave her body.
Dean blinked when the red head slumped a little on herself and the black haired one rose, a ghostly raven appearing out of the ether to land on her shoulder. The lantern was firmly around her neck below the pendant, the flame glowing a ghostly blue.
"This will feel a little odd, but try to ignore it," said the ghostly form of Raven, which she called Jade out of lack of anything better to call her.
Dean tensed when he felt the ghostly hand on his shoulder above his heart, and it felt like something was...scanning...it for lack of a better way of describing it. He noticed Raven's right hand started writing at a frenzied pace, the pages flying to the floor by an unseen wind, but never past the salt line. Almost like the salt was a physical barrier.
Raven kept writing for hours, and Dean grew so bored he eventually cracked open one of the books he brought with him. Finally, after who knew how long, Jade vanished and Raven woke up.
"By the spirits my hand hurts like a bitch. And no wonder. I must have written out a hundred pages at least," she said, looking at how many were left.
"My ass hurts," complained Dean.
"Well let's collect the papers and see what they say. But with this many..."
"What's wrong?" asked Dean, cricking his back.
"I don't know how to tell you this, but I've never seen such a complicated and long contract. It's like they're doing everything physically possible to insure you go to hell for some reason. Constantine, it would make sense, but as far as I'm aware you two have never been in contact with more than a mid-level demon. Why would they be so desperate for you to be in hell?" she asked.
"What?"
"The yellow-eyed demon? He's a mid-level one. Difficult for most humans to deal with but still easy to kill. Lilith, on the other hand is the First demon. Meaning she's way above your paygrade...and with something this complicated I'd bet my book collection she has the contract," said Raven.
Dean stared at her.
"How do you know so much about demons?"
"Hello, powerful psychic who gets her kicks pranking people with her astral form? I didn't start walking in spirit form until after I did all my research to insure I still had a body to go back to when I wanted to come home. And demon possession is the number one cause of psychic death during a spirit walk. Besides, I went to this voodoo doctor named Papa Midnight and he was happy to teach me in exchange for coin," said Raven.
Papa Midnight seemed highly amused a natural witch was asking him for information, but as long as her coin was good he would teach her. He was the one to warn her about spirit walking without protections already in place first, and told her which books to read.
The fact she showed genuine respect to his beliefs was the only reason he gave her correct information.
"Ho-ly crap. How many freaking pages is this thing?" asked Sam.
"Seventy-five, all in Latin. Now I don't know about you, but there is no way in hell I am translating 75 pages of Latin," said Raven flatly.
"What else did you have in mind?"
"Ask Papa Midnight why the demons are so desperate to see Dean actually goes to hell. I could understand this sort of complicated nonsense for John Constantine, but the Winchesters? Something simply doesn't add up."
"You know Constantine?" said Bobby sharply. He had heard of that man. More dabbler than hunter, but he still did enough good that most hunters would work with him.
Raven's smile was a tad frosty.
"He's the only reason I escaped Europe before they learned I was a psychic with enough power to spirit walk and survive. He found the idea of flipping the bird to the Ministry and that damn senile goat too amusing to pass up the hassle it was getting me out of England and changing my name. Anyway, he's the one who introduced me to Papa Midnight. Looks like we're heading to Louisiana boys," said Raven.
"Hey, isn't Mardi Gras starting in a few days?" asked Dean.
"I think so."
"Well hell, count me in! You guys get to talk to the witch doctor and I'll be getting some beads!" said Dean grinning.
