005.

Hold onto your kunai, listeners, for the ninja world is about to witness an astronomical conundrum that's leaving even the most experienced shinobi scratching their heads! A self-insert has done it again!

News has just broken that Gojo Satoru, a name that's becoming as infamous as a blacklisted jutsu, has blown up the moon!

Picture this: the moon, that ever-watchful celestial body that has graced the ninja world with its gentle glow, has been reduced to cosmic confetti in the blink of an eye. It's like a game of cosmic tic-tac-toe gone terribly wrong! As the moon bits scatter like ninja shurikens, the Five Great Hidden Villages are collectively staring at the sky, flabbergasted.

In Konoha, ninjas are blinking at the moonless sky as if trying to decipher a riddle from the toad sage himself.

In Suna, sand ninja are scratching their heads like lost scorpions in the desert, wondering if this is some sort of hallucination caused by dehydration.

Mist village shinobi are squinting at the sky as if they're expecting a hidden message to emerge from the mist.

Cloud village ninjas, who usually soar through the skies with the grace of eagles, are now grounded, dumbfounded, and looking up like confused seagulls at an empty sky.

Even the Rock village, known for its stoic resilience, is flinching at the missing moon like a shinobi spooked by their own shadow clone.

And so, dear listeners, the reaction is unanimous – everyone is left scratching their heads, contemplating whether they should attack Gojo Satoru or not. After all, who in the world would have the audacity, the power, and the sheer disregard for ninja lore to obliterate a celestial body?

The moon might not have been anyone's territory, but let's face it – everybody needs the moon! Tides, romantic moonlit walks, and nighttime shenanigans are now under threat. The mere thought of someone with the power to blow up the moon leaves even the most battle-hardened shinobi quaking in their ninja sandals.

So, as the Five Great Hidden Villages gather like befuddled birds in a nest, debating their next move, the ninja world watches with bated breath. Is this the beginning of a new era, where power-hungry ninja go beyond the boundaries of sensibility? Or is it just a cosmic case of a ninja getting bored and testing out their latest jutsu?

To answer these great questions, let's turn to our correspondent Speck as he interviews Gojo himself.


Thank you Remington. With the Elemental Nations scratching their heads, we have Gojo Satoru, the moon wrecker himself, here for an interview that's bound to leave you questioning reality. I'm your favourite correspondent, Speck, and today we're delving into the mind of the shinobi who just obliterated the moon.

Good evening, Gojo Satoru! I'll definitely say you're not what I was expecting.

Evening Speck, what were you expecting?

You know, White hair, blindfold, good-looking, and tall.

Damn! Now that's attempted murder. My heart can't take it anymore.

Ha! So, you've blown up the moon. Mind telling us why?

Well, you see, I did it to take away any chance of Kaguya awakening from her celestial sleep. I mean, the moon's gone, so Kaguya can just pack her bags and head back to where she came from, right?

A bit extreme, don't you think?

I'm not one for half measures, Speck. Besides, have you seen those power levels? People like Kaguya skew the balance. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation with a Genjutsu-obsessed Uchiha.

Ah, the irony is strong in this one. But speaking of power, what's your next move?

Well, if you're listening to this, Madara Uchiha, you're next. I've got my sights set on leveling the playing field and giving the powerful a taste of their own medicine.

Ah, a declaration! But, Gojo, I must inform you that Madara doesn't really… listen to Ninja Watch. He's not really our target audience.

Well, isn't that just poetic? Here I am, talking about leveling power imbalances, and the powerful one doesn't give a damn about my speech.

It's like trying to explain shinobi politics to a blindfolded frog.

Exactly, Speck. But you know what they say – it's the thought that counts. And I'm gonna make sure my thoughts come with a heavy dose of irresistible curse-breaking jutsu.

Well, it sounds like you've got your work cut out for you. Any final words for our listeners?

To all the powerful shinobi out there, consider this a warning. The moon may be gone, but my resolve is unbreakable. If you're all about skewing power levels, get ready – I'm coming for you, whether you're listening or not.

And there you have it, dear viewers – an interview with the moon-busting, power-leveling Gojo Satoru that's left us questioning the very essence of ninja power dynamics. As the ninja world braces itself for the consequences of this cosmic caper, remember, power may be skewed, but irony is universal.


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